Chapter 6

AN INTERESTING HOAX.

Fundamentalis Figura Geometrica, primas tantum lineas circuli quadraturæ possibilitatis ostendens. By Niels Erichsen (Nicolaus Ericius), shipbuilder, of Copenhagen. Copenhagen, 1755, 12mo.

This was a gift from my oldest friend who was not a relative, Dr. Samuel Maitland of the "Dark Ages."[358]He found it among his books, and could not imagine how he came by it: I could have told him. He once collected interpretations of the Apocalypse: and auction lots of suchbooks often contain quadratures. The wonder is he never found more than one.

The quadrature is not worth notice. Erichsen is the only squarer I have met with who has distinctly asserted the particulars of that reward which has been so frequently thought to have been offered in England. He says that in 1747 the Royal Society on the 2d of June, offered to give a large reward for the quadrature of the circle and a true explanation of magnetism, in addition to £30,000 previously promised for the same. I need hardly say that the Royal Society had not £30,000 at that time, and would not, if it had had such a sum, have spent it on the circle, nor on magnetic theory; nor would it have coupled the two things. On this book, seeNotes and Queries, 1st S., xii, 306. Perhaps Erichsen meant that the £30,000 had been promised by the Government, and the addition by the Royal Society.

October 8, 1866. I receive a letter from a cyclometer who understands that a reward is offered to any one who will square the circle, and that all competitors are to send their plans to me. The hoaxers have not yet failed out of the land.

TWO JESUIT CONTRIBUTIONS.

Theoria Philosophiæ Naturalis redacta ad unicam legem virium in natura existentium. EditioVenetaprima. By Roger Joseph Boscovich. Venice, 1763, 4to.

The first edition is said to be of Vienna, 1758.[359]This is a celebrated work on the molecular theory of matter, grounded on the hypothesis of spheres of alternate attraction and repulsion. Boscovich was a Jesuit of varied pursuit. During his measurement of a degree of the meridian, while on horseback or waiting for his observations, he composed a Latin poem of about five thousand verses on eclipses,with notes, which he dedicated to the Royal Society:De Solis et Lunæ defectibus,[360]London, Millar and Dodsley, 1760, 4to.

Traité de paix entre Des Cartes et Newton,précédédes vies littéraires de ces deux chefs de la physique moderne.... By Aimé Henri Paulian.[361]Avignon, 1763, 12mo.

I have had these books for many years without feeling the least desire to see how a lettered Jesuit would atone Descartes and Newton. On looking at my two volumes, I find that one contains nothing but the literary life of Descartes; the other nothing but the literary life of Newton. The preface indicates more: and Watt mentionsthreevolumes.[362]I dare say the first two contain all that is valuable. On looking more attentively at the two volumes, I find them both readable and instructive; the account of Newton is far above that of Voltaire, but not so popular. But he should not have said that Newton's family came from Newton in Ireland. Sir Rowland Hill gives fourteenNewtonsin Ireland;[363]twice the number of the cities that contended for the birth of Homer may now contend for the origin of Newton, on the word of Father Paulian.

Philosophical Essays, in three parts. By R. Lovett, Lay Clerk of the Cathedral Church of Worcester. Worcester, 1766, 8vo.The Electrical Philosopher: containing a new system of physicsfounded upon the principle of an universal Plenum of elementary fire.... By R. Lovett, Worcester, 1774, 8vo.

Philosophical Essays, in three parts. By R. Lovett, Lay Clerk of the Cathedral Church of Worcester. Worcester, 1766, 8vo.

The Electrical Philosopher: containing a new system of physicsfounded upon the principle of an universal Plenum of elementary fire.... By R. Lovett, Worcester, 1774, 8vo.

Mr. Lovett[364]was one of those ether philosophers who bring in elastic fluid as an explanation by imposition of words, without deducing any one phenomenon from what we know of it. And yet he says that attraction has received no support from geometry; though geometry, applied to a particular law of attraction, had shown how to predict the motions of the bodies of the solar system. He, and many of his stamp, have not the least idea of the confirmation of a theory by accordance of deduced results with observation posterior to the theory.

BAILLY'S EXAGGERATED VIEW OF ASTRONOMY.

Lettres sur l'Atlantide de Platon, et sur l'ancien Histoire de l'Asie, pour servir de suite aux lettres sur l'origine des Sciences, adressées à M. de Voltaire, par M. Bailly.[365]London and Paris, 1779, 8vo.

I might enter here all Bailly's histories of astronomy.[366]The paradox which runs through them all more or less, is the doctrine that astronomy is of immense antiquity, coming from some forgotten source, probably the drowned island of Plato, peopled by a race whom Bailly makes, as hasbeen said, to teach us everything except their existence and their name. These books, the first scientific histories which belong to readable literature, made a great impression by power of style: Delambre created a strong reaction, of injurious amount, in favor of history founded on contemporary documents, which early astronomy cannot furnish. These letters are addressed to Voltaire, and continue the discussion. There is one letter of Voltaire, being the fourth, dated Feb. 27, 1777, and signed "le vieux malade de Ferney, V. puer centum annorum."[367]Then begin Bailly's letters, from January 16 to May 12, 1778. From some ambiguous expressions in the Preface, it would seem that these are fictitious letters, supposed to be addressed to Voltaire at their dates. Voltaire went to Paris February 10, 1778, and died there May 30. Nearly all this interval was his closing scene, and it is very unlikely that Bailly would have troubled him with these letters.[368]

An inquiry into the cause of motion, or a general theory of physics. By S. Miller. London, 1781, 4to

Newton all wrong: matter consists of two kinds of particles, one inert, the other elastic and capable of expanding themselvesad infinitum.

SAINT-MARTIN ON ERRORS AND TRUTH.

Des Erreurs et de la Vérité, ou les hommes rappelés au principe universel de la science; ouvrage dans lequel, en faisant remarquer aux observateurs l'incertitude de leurs recherches, et leurs méprises continuelles, on leur indique la route qu'ils auroient dû suivre, pour acquérir l'évidence physique sur l'origine du bien et du mal, sur l'homme, sur la nature matérielle, et la nature sacrée; sur la base des gouvernementspolitiques, sur l'autorité des souverains, sur la justice civile et criminelle, sur les sciences, les langues, et les arts. Par un Ph.... Inc.... A Edimbourg. 1782.[369]Two vols. 8vo.

This is the famous work of Louis Claude de Saint-Martin[370](1743-1803), for whose other works, vagaries included, the reader must look elsewhere: among other things, he was a translator of Jacob Behmen.[371]The title promises much, and the writer has smart thoughts now and then; but the whole is the wearisome omniscience of the author's day and country, which no reader of our time can tolerate. Not that we dislike omniscience; but we have it of our own country, both home-made and imported; and fashions vary. But surely there can be but one omniscience? Must a man have but one wife? Nay, may not a man have a new wife while the old one is living? There was a famous instrumental professor forty years ago, who presented a friend to Madame ——. The friend started, and looked surprised; for, not many weeks before, he had been presented to another lady, with the same title, at Paris. The musician observed his surprise, and quietly said, "Celle-ci est Madame —— de Londres." In like manner we have a London omniscience now current, which would make any one start who only knew the old French article.

The book was printed at Lyons, but it was a trick of French authors to pretend to be afraid of prosecution: itmade a book look wicked-like to have a feigned place of printing, and stimulated readers. A Government which had undergone Voltaire would never have drawn its sword upon quiet Saint-Martin. To make himself look still worse, he was only ph[ilosophe] Inc...., which is generally readInconnu[372]but sometimesIncrédule;[373]most likely the ambiguity was intended. There is an awful paradox about the book, which explains, in part, its leaden sameness. It is all aboutl'homme,l'homme,l'homme,[374]except as much as treats ofles hommes,les hommes,les hommes;[375]but not one single man is mentioned by name in its 500 pages. It reminds one of

"Water, water everywhere,And not a drop to drink."

"Water, water everywhere,

And not a drop to drink."

Not one opinion of any other man is referred to, in the way of agreement or of opposition. Not even a town is mentioned: there is nothing which brings a capital letter into the middle of a sentence, except, by the rarest accident, such a personification asJustice. A likely book to want anEdimbourggodfather!

Saint-Martin is great in mathematics. The numberfouressentially belongs to straight lines, andnineto curves. The object of a straight line is to perpetuatead infinitumthe production of a point from which it emanates. A circlecirclebounds the production of all its radii, tends to destroy them, and is in some sort their enemy. How is it possible that things so distinct should not be distinguished in theirnumberas well as in their action? If this important observation had been made earlier, immense trouble would have been saved to the mathematicians, who would have been prevented from searching for a common measure to lines which have nothing in common. But, though all straight lines have the numberfour, it must not be supposed that they are all equal, for a line is the result of its law andits number; but though both are the same for all lines of a sort, they act differently, as to force, energy, and duration, in different individuals; which explains all differences of length, etc. I congratulate the reader who understands this; and I do not pity the one who does not.

Saint-Martin and his works are now as completely forgotten as if they had never been born, except so far as this, that some one may take up one of the works as of heretical character, and lay it down in disappointment, with the reflection that it is as dull as orthodoxy. For a person who was once in some vogue, it would be difficult to pick out a more fossil writer, from Aa to Zypœus, except,—though it is unusual for (,—) to represent an interval of more than a year—his unknown opponent. This opponent, in the very year of theDes Erreurs... published a book in two parts with the same fictitious place of printing;

Tableau Naturel des Rapports qui existent entre Dieu, l'Homme, et l'Univers. A Edimbourg, 1782, 8vo.[376]

There is a motto from theDes Erreursitself, "Expliquer les choses par l'homme, et non l'homme par les choses.Des Erreurs et de la Vérité, par un PH.... INC...., p. 9."[377]This work is set down in various catalogues and biographies as written by the PH.... INC.... himself. But it is not usual for a writer to publish two works in the same year, one of which takes a motto from the other. And the second work is profuse in capitals and italics, and uses Hebrew learning: its style differs much from the first work. The first work sets out from man, and has nothing to do with God: the second is religious and raps the knuckles of the first as follows: "Si nous voulons nous préserver de toutesles illusions, et surtout des amorces de l'orgueil par lesquelles l'homme est si souvent séduit, ne prenons jamais les hommes, mais toujoursDieupour notre terme de comparaison."[378]The first usesfourandninein various ways, of which I have quoted one: the second says, "Et ici se trouve déjà une explication des nombresquatreetneuf, qui ont peu embarrassé dans l'ouvrage déjà cité. L'homme s'est égaré en allant dequatreàneuf...."[379]The work cited is theErreurs, etc., and the citation is in the motto, which is the text of the opposition sermon.

A FORERUNNER OF THE METRIC SYSTEM.

Method to discover the difference of the earth's diameters; proving its true ratio to be not less variable than as 45 is to 46, and shortest in its pole's axis 174 miles.... likewise a method for fixing an universal standard for weights and measures. By Thomas Williams.[380]London, 1788, 8vo.

Mr. Williams was a paradoxer in his day, and proposed what was, no doubt, laughed at by some. He proposed the sort of plan which the French—independently of course—carried into effect a few years after. He would have the 52d degree of latitude divided into 100,000 parts and each part a geographical yard. The geographical ton was to be the cube of a geographical yard filled with sea-water taken some leagues from land. All multiples and sub-divisions were to be decimal.

I was beginning to look up those who had made similar proposals, when a learned article on the proposal of ametrical system came under my eye in theTimesof Sept. 15, 1863. The author cites Mouton,[381]who would have the minute of a degree divided into 10,000virgulæ; James Cassini,[382]whose foot was to be six thousandths of a minute; and Paucton,[383]whose foot was the 400,000th of a degree. I have verified the first and third statements; surely the second ought to be thesix-thousandth.

An inquiry into the Copernican system ... wherein it is proved, in the clearest manner, that the earth has only her diurnal motion ... with an attempt to point out the only true way whereby mankind can receive any real benefit from the study of the heavenly bodies. By John Cunningham.[384]London, 1789, 8vo.

The "true way" appears to be the treatment of heaven and earth as emblematical of the Trinity.

Cosmology. An inquiry into the cause of what is called gravitation or attraction, in which the motions of the heavenly bodies, and the preservation and operations of all nature, are deduced from an universal principle of efflux and reflux. By T. Vivian,[385]vicar of Cornwood, Devon. Bath, 1792, 12mo.

Attraction, an influx of matter to the sun; centrifugal force, the solar rays; cohesion, the pressure of the atmosphere. The confusion about centrifugalforce, so called, as demanding an external agent, is very common.

THOMAS PAINE'S RIGHTS OF MAN.

The rights ofMan, being an answer to Mr. Burke's attack on the French Revolution.[386]By Thomas Paine.[387]In two parts. 1791-1792. 8vo. (Various editions.)[388]A vindication of the rights ofWoman, with strictures on political and moral subjects. By Mary Wollstonecraft.[389]1792. 8vo.A sketch of the rights ofBoysandGirls. By Launcelot Light, of Westminster School; and Lætitia Lookabout, of Queen's Square, Bloomsbury. [By the Rev. Samuel Parr,[390]LL.D.] 1792. 8vo. (pp.64).

The rights ofMan, being an answer to Mr. Burke's attack on the French Revolution.[386]By Thomas Paine.[387]In two parts. 1791-1792. 8vo. (Various editions.)[388]

A vindication of the rights ofWoman, with strictures on political and moral subjects. By Mary Wollstonecraft.[389]1792. 8vo.

A sketch of the rights ofBoysandGirls. By Launcelot Light, of Westminster School; and Lætitia Lookabout, of Queen's Square, Bloomsbury. [By the Rev. Samuel Parr,[390]LL.D.] 1792. 8vo. (pp.64).

When did we three meet before? The first work has sunk into oblivion: had it merited its title, it might havelived. It is what the French call apièce de circonstance; it belongs in time to the French Revolution, and in matter to Burke's opinion of that movement. Those who only know its name think it was really an attempt to write a philosophical treatise on what we now call socialism. Silly government prosecutions gave it what it never could have got for itself.

Mary Wollstonecraft seldom has her name spelled right. I suppose the O! O! character she got made her Woolstonecraft. Watt gives double insinuation, for his cross-reference sends us to Goodwin.[391]No doubt the title of the book was an act of discipleship to Paine'sRights of Man; but this title is very badly chosen. The book was marred by it, especially when the authoress and her husband assumed the right of dispensing with legal sanction until the approach of offspring brought them to a sense of their child's interest.[392]Not a hint of such a claim is found in the book, which is mostly about female education. The right claimed for woman is to have the education of a rational human being, and not to be considered as nothing but woman throughout youthful training. The maxims of Mary Wollstonecraft are now, though not derived from her, largely followed in the education of girls, especially in home education: just as many of the political principles of Tom Paine, again not derived from him, are the guides of our actual legislation. I remember, forty years ago, an old lady used to declare that she disliked girls from the age of sixteen to five-and-twenty. "They are full," said she, "offemalities." She spoke of their behavior to women as well as to men. Shewould have been shocked to know that she was a follower of Mary Wollstonecraft, and had packed half her book into one sentence.

The third work is a satirical attack on Mary Wollstonecraft and Tom Paine. The details of the attack would convince any one that neither has anything which would now excite reprobation. It is utterly unworthy of Dr. Parr, and has quite disappeared from lists of his works, if it were ever there. That it was written by him I take to be evident, as follows. Nichols,[393]who could not fail to know, says (Anecd., vol. ix, p. 120): "This is a playful essay by a first-rate scholar, who is elsewhere noticed in this volume, but whose name I shall not bring forward on so trifling an occasion." Who the scholar was is made obvious by Master Launcelot being made to talk of Bellendenus.[394]Further, the same boy is made to say, "Let Dr. Parr lay his hand upon his heart, if his conscience will let him, and ask himself how many thousands of wagon-loads of this article [birch] he has cruelly misapplied." How could this apply to Parr, with his handful of private pupils,[395]and no reputation for severity? Any one except himself would have called on the head-master of Westminster or Eton. I doubt whether the name of Parr could be connected with the rod by anything in print, except the above and an anecdote of his pupil, Tom Sheridan.[396]The Doctor had dressed for a dinner visit, andwas ready a quarter of an hour too soon to set off. "Tom," said he, "I think I had better whip you now; you are sure to do something while I am out."—"I wish you would, sir!" said the boy; "it would be a letter of licence for the whole evening." The Doctor saw the force of the retort: my two tutelaries will see it by this time. They paid in advance; and I have given liberal interpretation to the order.

The following story of Dr. Parr was told me and others, about 1829, by the late Leonard Horner,[397]who knew him intimately. Parr was staying in a house full of company, I think in the north of England. Some gentlemen from America were among the guests, and after dinner they disputed some of Parr's assertions or arguments. So the Doctor broke out with "Do you know what country you come from? You come from the place to which we used to send our thieves!" This made the host angry, and he gave Parr such a severe rebuke as sent him from the room in ill-humor. The rest walked on the lawn, amusing the Americans with sketches of the Doctor. There was a dark cloud overhead, and from that cloud presently came a voice which calledTham(Parr-lisp forSam). The company were astonished for a moment, but thought the Doctor was calling his servant in the house, and that the apparent direction was an illusion arising out of inattention. But presently the sound was repeated, certainly from the cloud,

"And nearer, clearer, deadlier than before."

There was now a little alarm: where could the Doctor have got to? They ran to his bedroom, and there they discovered a sufficient rather than satisfactory explanation. The Doctor had taken his pipe into his bedroom, and had seated himself, in sulky mood, upon the higher bar of a large and deep old-fashioned grate with a high mantelshelf. Here he hadtumbled backwards, and doubled himself up between the bars and the back of the grate. He was fixed tight, and when he called for help, he could only throw his voice up the chimney. The echo from the cloud was the warning which brought his friends to the rescue.

ATTACKS ON RELIGIOUS CUSTOMS.

Days of political paradox were coming, at which we now stare. Cobbett[398]said, about 1830, in earnest, that in the country every man who did not take off his hat to the clergyman was suspected, and ran a fair chance of having something brought against him. I heard this assertion canvassed, when it was made, in a party of elderly persons. The Radicals backed it, the old Tories rather denied it, but in a way which satisfied me they ought to have denied it less if they could not deny it more. But it must be said that the Governments stopped far short of what their partisans would have had them do. All who know Robert Robinson's[399]very quiet assault on church-made festivals in hisHistory and Mystery of Good Friday(1777)[400]will hear or remember with surprise that theBritish Criticpronounced it a direct, unprovoked, and malicious libel on the mostsacred institutions of the national Church. It was reprinted again and again: in 1811 it was in a cheap form at 6s. 6d. a hundred. When the Jacobin day came, the State was really in a fright: people thought twice before they published what would now be quite disregarded. I examined a quantity of letters addressed to George Dyer[401](Charles Lamb's G.D.) and what between the autographs of Thelwall, Hardy, Horne Tooke, and all the rebels,[402]put together a packet which produced five guineas, or thereabouts, for the widow. Among them were the following verses, sent by the author—who would not put his name, even in a private letter, for fear of accidents—for consultation whether they could safely be sent to an editor: and they werenotsent. The occasion was the public thanksgiving at St. Paul's for the naval victories, December 19, 1797.

"God bless me! what a thing!Have you heard that the KingGoes to St. Paul's?Good Lord! and when he's there,He'll roll his eyes in prayer,To make poor Johnny stareAt this fine thing."No doubt the plan is wiseTo blind poor Johnny's eyesBy this grand show;For should he once supposeThat he's led by the nose,Down the whole fabric goes,Church, lords, and king."As he shouts Duncan's[403]praise,Mind how supplies they'll raiseIn wondrous haste.For while upon the seaWe gain one victory,John still a dupe will beAnd taxes pay."Till from his little storeThree-fourths or even moreGoes to the Crown.Ah, John! you little thinkHow fast we downward sinkAnd touch the fatal brinkAt which we're slaves."

"God bless me! what a thing!Have you heard that the KingGoes to St. Paul's?Good Lord! and when he's there,He'll roll his eyes in prayer,To make poor Johnny stareAt this fine thing.

"God bless me! what a thing!

Have you heard that the King

Goes to St. Paul's?

Good Lord! and when he's there,

He'll roll his eyes in prayer,

To make poor Johnny stare

At this fine thing.

"No doubt the plan is wiseTo blind poor Johnny's eyesBy this grand show;For should he once supposeThat he's led by the nose,Down the whole fabric goes,Church, lords, and king.

"No doubt the plan is wise

To blind poor Johnny's eyes

By this grand show;

For should he once suppose

That he's led by the nose,

Down the whole fabric goes,

Church, lords, and king.

"As he shouts Duncan's[403]praise,Mind how supplies they'll raiseIn wondrous haste.For while upon the seaWe gain one victory,John still a dupe will beAnd taxes pay.

"As he shouts Duncan's[403]praise,

Mind how supplies they'll raise

In wondrous haste.

For while upon the sea

We gain one victory,

John still a dupe will be

And taxes pay.

"Till from his little storeThree-fourths or even moreGoes to the Crown.Ah, John! you little thinkHow fast we downward sinkAnd touch the fatal brinkAt which we're slaves."

"Till from his little store

Three-fourths or even more

Goes to the Crown.

Ah, John! you little think

How fast we downward sink

And touch the fatal brink

At which we're slaves."

I would have indicted the author for not making his thirds and sevenths rhyme. As to the rhythm, it is not much better than what the French sang in the Calais theater when the Duke of Clarence[404]took over Louis XVIII in 1814.

"God save noble Clarence,Who brings our king to France;God save Clarence!He maintains the gloryOf the British navy,etc., etc."

"God save noble Clarence,

Who brings our king to France;

God save Clarence!

He maintains the glory

Of the British navy,

etc., etc."

Perhaps had this been published, the Government would have assailed it as a libel on the church service. They got into the way of defending themselves by making libels on the Church, of what were libels, if on anything, on the rulers of the State; until the celebrated trials of Hone settled the point for ever, and established that juries will not convict for one offence, even though it have been committed, when they know the prosecution is directed at another offence and another intent.

HONE'S FAMOUS TRIALS.

The results of Hone's trials (William Hone, 1779-1842) are among the important constitutional victories of our century. He published parodies on the Creeds, the Lord's Prayer, the Catechism, etc., with intent to bring the Ministry into contempt: everybody knew that was hispurpose. The Government indicted him for impious, profane, blasphemous intent, but not for seditious intent. They hoped to wear him out by proceeding day by day. December 18, 1817, they hid themselves under the Lord's Prayer, the Creed, and the Commandments; December 19, under the Litany; December 20, under the Athanasian Creed, an odd place for shelter when they could not find it in the previous places. Hone defended himself for six, seven, and eight hours on the several days: and the jury acquitted him in 15, 105, and 20 minutes. In the second trial the offense was laid both as profanity and as sedition, which seems to have made the jury hesitate. And they probably came to think that the second count was false pretence: but the length of their deliberation is a satisfactory addition to the value of the whole. In the first trial the Attorney-General (Shepherd) had the impudence to say that the libel had nothing of a political tendency about it, but wasavowedlyset off against the religion and worship of the Church of England. The wholeis political in every sentence; neither more nor less political than the following, which is part of the parody on the Catechism: "What is thy duty towards the Minister? My duty towards the Minister is, to trust him as much as I can; to honor him with all my words, with all my bows, with all my scrapes, and with all my cringes; to flatter him; to give him thanks; to give up my whole soul to him; to idolize his name, and obey his word, and serve him blindly all the days of his political life." And the parody on the Creed begins, "I believe in George, the Regent almighty, maker of new streets and Knights of the Bath." This is what the Attorney-General said had nothing of a political tendency about it. But this wason the first trial: Hone was not known. The first day's trial was under Justice Abbott (afterwards C. J. Tenterden).[405]It was perfectly understood, when Chief Justice Ellenborough[406]appeared in Court on the second day, that he was very angry at the first result, and put his junior aside to try his own rougher dealing. But Hone tamed the lion. An eye-witness told me that when he implored of Hone not to detail his own father Bishop Law's[407]views on the Athanasian Creed, which humble petition Hone kindly granted, he held by the desk for support. And the same when—which is not reported—the Attorney-General appealed to the Court for protection against astinging attack which Hone made on the Bar: heheld on, and said, "Mr. Attorney, whatcanI do!" I was a boy of twelve years old, but so strong was the feeling of exultation at the verdicts that boys at school were not prohibited from seeing the parodies, which would have been held at any other time quite unfit to meet their eyes. I was not able to comprehend all about the Lord Chief Justice until I read and heard again in after years. In the meantime, Joe Miller had given me the story of the leopard which was sent home on board a ship of war, and was in two days made as docile as a cat by the sailors.[408]"You have got that fellow well under," said an officer. "Lord bless your Honor!" said Jack, "if the Emperor of Marocky would send us a cock rhinoceros, we'd bring him to his bearings in no time!" When I came to the subject again, it pleased me to entertain the question whether, if the Emperor had sent a cock rhinoceros to preside on the third day in the King's Bench, Hone would have masteredhim: I forget how I settled it. There grew up a story that Hone caused Lord Ellenborough's death, but this could not have been true. Lord Ellenborough resigned his seat in a few months, and died just a year after the trials; but sixty-eight years may have had more to do with it than his defeat.

A large subscription was raised for Hone, headed by the Duke of Bedford[409]for £105. Many of the leading anti-ministerialists joined: but there were many of the other side who avowed their disapprobation of the false pretense. Many could not venture their names. In the list I find:A member of the House of Lords, an enemy to persecution, and especially to religious persecution employed for political purposes—No parodist, but an enemy to persecution—A juryman on the third day's trial—Ellen Borough—My name would ruin me—Oh! minions of Pitt—Oil for the Hone—The Ghosts of Jeffries[410]and Sir William Roy [Ghosts of Jeffries in abundance]—A conscientious Jury and a conscientious Attorney, £1 6s. 8d.—To Mr. Hone, for defending in his own person the freedom of the press, attacked for a political object, under the old pretense of supporting Religion—A cut at corruption—An Earldom for myself and a translation for my brother—One who disapproves of parodies, but abhors persecution—From a schoolboy who wishes Mr. Hone to have a very grand subscription—"For delicacy's sake forbear," and "Felix trembled"—"I will go myself to-morrow"—Judge Jeffries' works rebound in calf by Law—Keep us from Law, and from the Shepherd's paw—I must not give you my name, but God bless you!—As much like Judge Jeffries as the present times will permit—May Jeffries' fame and Jeffries' fate on every modern Jeffries wait—No parodist, but an admirer of the man who has proved the fallacy of the Lawyer's Law, that when a man is his own advocate he has a fool for his client—A Mussulman who thinks it would not be an impious libel to parody the Koran—May the suspenders of the Habeas Corpus Act be speedily suspended—Three times twelve for thrice-tried Hone, who cleared the cases himself alone, and won three heats by twelve to one, £1 16s.—A conscientious attorney, £1 6s. 8d.—Rev. T. B. Morris, rector of Shelfanger, who disapproves of the parodies, but abhors the making an affected zeal for religion the pretext for political persecution—A Lawyer opposed in principle toLaw—For the Hone that set the razor that shaved the rats—Rev. Dr. Samuel Parr, who most seriously disapproves of all parodies upon the hallowed language of Scripture and the contents of the Prayer-book, but acquits Mr. Hone of intentional impiety, admires his talents and fortitude, and applauds the good sense and integrity of his juries—Religion without hypocrisy, and Law without impartiality—O Law! O Law! O Law!

These are specimens of a great many allusive mottoes. The subscription was very large, and would have bought a handsome annuity, but Hone employed it in the bookselling trade, and did not thrive. HisEveryday Book[411]and hisApocryphal New Testament,[412]are useful books. On an annuity he would have thriven as an antiquarian writer and collector. It is well that the attack upon the right to ridicule Ministers roused a dormant power which was equal to the occasion. Hone declared, on his honor, that he had never addressed a meeting in his life, nor spoken a word before more than twelve persons. Had he—which however could not then be done—employed counsel and had aguilty defensemade for him, he would very likely have been convicted, and the work would have been left to be done by another. No question that the parodies disgusted all who reverenced Christianity, and who could not separate the serious and the ludicrous, and prevent their existence in combination.

My extracts, etc., are from the nineteenth, seventeenth, and sixteenth editions of the three trials, which seem to have been contemporaneous (all in 1818) as they are made up into one book, with additional title over all, and the motto "Thrice the brindled cat hath mew'd." They are published by Hone himself, who I should have said was a publisheras well as was to be. And though the trials only ended Dec. 20, 1817, the preface attached to this common title is dated Jan. 23, 1818.[413]

The spirit which was roused against the false dealing of the Government, i.e., the pretense of prosecuting for impiety when all the world knew the real offense was, if anything, sedition—was not got up at the moment: there had been previous exhibitions of it. For example, in the spring of 1818 Mr. Russell, a little printer in Birmingham, was indicted for publishing the Political Litany[414]on which Hone was afterwards tried. He took his witnesses to the summer Warwick assizes, and was told that the indictment had been removed by certiorari into the King's Bench. He had notice of trial for the spring assizes at Warwick: he took his witnesses there, and the trial was postponed by the Crown. He then had notice for the summer assizes at Warwick; and so on. The policy seems to have been to wear out the obnoxious parties, either by delays or by heaping on trials. The Government was odious, and knew it couldnotget verdicts against ridicule, andcouldget verdicts against impiety. No difficulty was found in convicting the sellers of Paine's works, and the like. When Hone was held to bail it was seen that a crisis was at hand. All parties in politics furnished him with parodies in proof of religious persons having made instruments of them. The parodies by Addison and Luther were contributed by a Tory lawyer, who was afterwards a judge.

Hone had published, in 1817, tracts of purely political ridicule:Official Account of the Noble Lord's Bite,[415]Trial of the Dog for Biting the Noble Lord, etc. These were not touched. After the trials, it is manifest that Hone wasto be unassailed, do what he might.The Political House that Jack built, in 1819;The Man in the Moon, 1820;The Queen's Matrimonial Ladder,Non mi ricordo,The R—l Fowls, 1820;The Political Showman at Home, with plates by G. Cruickshank,[416]1821 [he did all the plates];The Spirit of Despotism, 1821—would have been legitimate marks for prosecution in previous years. The biting caricature of several of these works are remembered to this day.The Spirit of Despotismwas a tract of 1795, of which a few copies had been privately circulated with great secrecy. Hone reprinted it, and prefixed the following address to "Robert Stewart,aliasLord Castlereagh"[417]: "It appears to me that if, unhappily, your counsels are allowed much longer to prevail in the Brunswick Cabinet, they will bring on a crisis, in which the king may be dethroned or the people enslaved. Experience has shown that the people will not be enslaved—the alternative is the affair of your employers." Hone might say this without notice.

In 1819 Mr. Murray[418]published Lord Byron'sDon Juan,[419]and Hone followed it withDon John, or Don Juan Unmasked, a little account of what the publisher to the Admiralty was allowed to issue without prosecution. The parody on the Commandments was a case very much in point: and Hone makes a stinging allusion to the use of the "unutterable Name, with a profane levity unsurpassed byany other two lines in the English language." The lines are

Back to Index Next