A Day at Camp Killkare.
As the curtain rises girls are seen seated, Hilda embroidering, Ruth busy with raffia, Hope making a basket. Enter Kitty.
Kitty.Look at the industry on a warm morning. I’ll be the sluggard. (Seats herself in the hammock and opens a book.) How’s the fancy work, Hilda?
Hilda.I wish the old thing was done. Carolyn sails next week and I want this traveling case to be finished in time.
Hope.I wish I were going on a nice trip like Carolyn.
Kitty.Uncle Fred went to Europe last summer, and he said he was simply tired of the everlasting tipping. Finally he saw a sign in his room at the hotel, “Please tip the basin after using,” and he said he drew the line there.
Hilda.I’d love the ocean voyage, and I know I wouldn’t be afraid, even in a storm. Mother told me that when she went over, there was an old lady who was terribly nervous, and each day she pestered the captain, asking him how far it was to land. Finally one day he answered her politely, “Five miles, madam.” She was delighted and asked very eagerly “where?” and he told her “straight down below our keel, madam.”
Kitty.Uncle Fred wasn’t a bit seasick, but one day on deck a man and his wife were near him, all bundled up in their steamer chairs and looking terribly woebegone. Their little boy was playing around full of mischief, and the mother said feebly, “Papa, won’t you speak to Willie?” And papa said just as feebly, “How do you do, Willie?”
Ruth.Well, I don’t like troublesome children. I had to take care of Cousin Julia’s baby all one afternoon and he did nothing but cry. So I let him cry into the phonograph, so that when he grew up he could hear what a troublesome baby he had been.
Kitty.I ought to be studying, seeing as I flunked in history this June.
Hope.I don’t believe you know a thing about history, Kit.
Kitty.Yes, I do. I know that when the great patriot, Nathan Hale, was about to be executed he said, “Would that I were a cat that I might have nine lives to give to my country.”
Hope.Where’s Betty?
Ruth.Gone for the mail.
Hilda.Miss Morgan with her?
Hope.No, Miss Morgan went down to the lake to sketch.
Kitty.I wish I were an artist. I tried to paint a sunset once, but the family thought it was a tomato omelet, so I forebore.
Ruth.Betty’s taking her time with the mail.
Hope.I gave her five cents for lollypops.
Kitty.I gave her ten. What’s camp without lollypops?
(Distant call is heard “Wohelo.”)
Girls.(reply) Wohelo.
(Enter Miss Morgan with sketching outfit.)
Miss Morgan.Did I hear Betty call?
Ruth.Yes, she’s just coming up the path.
(Enter Betty with mail bag slung over her shoulder.)
Betty.(Wiping her forehead.) Whew, it’s a warm day.
Hope.(Reaching for mail bag.) Here, hand over the letters like a nice lady.
(Girls crowd around Betty.)
Betty.(waving them back.) Stand back, ladies, and show some respect for the representative of the postal system of our nation.I’lldistribute the mail.
Hilda.I hope I got a letter.
Betty.You don’t deserve one for you only write postals.
Hilda.I only wrote two last week.
Betty.(distributing mail) Miss Hope Harwood.
Hope.Oh, that’s from mother.
Betty.Miss Morgan, two letters and a paper.
Miss Morgan.Thank you, Betty.
Betty.What an example! Miss Morgan is the only one who has thanked me for bringing her letters up a steep mountain path beset by tiger lillies, dandelions, foxglove, wolfsbane and every flower carrying a pistil.
Kitty.Go on and pass out the mail.
Betty.Miss Kitty Carroll, Miss Ruth Scott. That’s all but the lollypops and here they are.
Hope.Did you get my stamps?
Betty.Oh no, I forgot them.
Hope.You said you’d surely remember and you tied a knot in your handkerchief.
Betty.Well it was a forget-me-knot that time.
Ruth.Oh, isn’t this a pity? Lucille can’t come. Her aunt’s going to take her on a motor trip.
Kitty.Motor trip? I should think that would be lovely.
Ruth.Not a motor trip a la Aunt Jane. Aunt Camilla and Uncle Samuel will go along. Lucille and the two aunts will sit squeezed together on the back seat, and the conversation will be exclusively devoted to nervous dyspepsia and sciatica. When Uncle Samuel can get a word in edgewise he will pipe up about the wholesale price of lard and pork.
Hilda.Lovely prospect for Lucille.
Miss Morgan.Girls, I have good news for you. I have a letter from Miss Pickett, Lucille’s Aunt Jane, and she writes that she has decided to surprise Lucille. They will stop here and visit us for a day on their way to join Mr. and Mrs. Brown.
Kitty.That’s Uncle Samuel and Aunt Camilla of pork and lard fame.
Betty.Hooray, girls!
Miss Morgan.She sent me a special delivery letter which for some reason was not delivered last night.
Betty.The postmaster told me he was already to go to lodge, so he thought the letter could wait till morning.
Kitty.He was as bad as the telegraph operator at Birchwood last summer. Uncle’s partner sent him a code message, and the operator never delivered it. He said “It didn’t make no sense so he didn’t see no use of walking two miles with it.”
Hilda.When is Lucille coming, Miss Morgan?
Miss Morgan.The fourteenth—why that’s today.
Betty.Dear me, girls, we must hurry and get this place fixed up.
Miss Morgan.Are your tents in order? They were at inspection this morning but they’ve had time to get disarranged.
Kitty.Mine is spick and span. I believe in a place for everything and everything in its place.
Ruth.And that place is the tray of your trunk.
Kitty.Well, what’s the objection to that? When I want a ribbon or a belt I simply stir up a bit like this (gesture) till it comes to the surface.
Hilda.Aunt Jane is horribly tidy and terribly particular.
Betty.You’re right there. She took the dust out of industrious.
Miss Morgan.Better pick up those few papers, girls.
Hope.Sure. Let’s lay out some plain sewing and a few improving books, so as to give a good impression.
(Sound of motor horn.)
Ruth.Oh, there’s the car, come on girls and meet them.
(Exit girls;)
(Miss Morgan glances in tent, straightens pillows in hammock, and puts away her sketching outfit.)
Miss Morgan.I do hope that we can impress Miss Pickett favorably so that she will allow Lucille to stay with us, but that is a little too much to expect. Poor child, I believe her aunt would like to send her to an old-fashioned boarding school, if she could find one, and have her taught to make alum baskets and play the Maiden’s Prayer.
(Enter Miss Pickett, Lucille and campers.)
Miss Pickett.This is a terrible hill. It will give me nervous dyspepsia or sciatica or both.
Miss Morgan.Miss Pickett, we are delighted to see you at our camp.... (Kisses Lucille) Lucille, dear, this is lovely.
Betty.Isn’t this great to have Lucille here?
Kitty.(politely) And Miss Pickett.
(Girls assist Miss Pickett and Lucille to remove their wraps.)
Miss Morgan.Did you have a pleasant trip?
Miss Pickett.It was quite tiresome for we lost our way. All the guide posts told us to use Scrubit Soap or Purple Pills for Pale People. Then for the last half hour when they did condescend to mention Pineville, it was always the same distance. First it was eight miles to Pineville, then after riding ten minutes it was eight miles to Pineville, and then after fifteen minutes it was still eight miles to Pineville. Thechauffeur was quite impertinent, for he said, “Thank goodness, we are holding our own anyway.”
Miss Morgan.How very annoying.
Miss Pickett.Well, Lucille was so set on coming that I decided to let her have a day of it. Though for the life of me I can’t see the fun of having spiders crawl over you while you sleep, and ants in the coffee, and eating canned stuff for weeks. I will say frankly it is not my idea of a ladylike vacation.
Miss Morgan.We certainly appreciate your kindness in bringing Lucille when it caused you so much inconvenience.
Betty.Miss Pickett may I lend Lucille a middy blouse and skirt for the day?
Miss Pickett.Well, to tell the truth I never approved of that costume. The middies, as you call them, remind me of the way the Chinese laundrymen wear their clothes. I like a dress neatly belted in.
Kitty.But Lucille might spoil her suit.
Betty.It is such a stylish suit. Did you have it made in New York?
Miss Pickett.(pleased) No, the dressmaker made it under my supervision. Very well, Lucille, you may accept Betty’s offer.
Miss Morgan.Miss Pickett suppose you and I go down to the lake where it is cooler.
Kitty.Oh, that will be lovely, Miss Morgan, take her out in the canoe.
Miss Pickett.No indeed. My nephew Robert has one, and on one occasion he wished to have a discussion with his father. My brother Jonas is quick tempered and will never listen to argument so Robert invited him out in his canoe, and when he had Jonas out in the middle of the river he opened up the subject. Poor Jonas didn’t dare to walk up and down the way he usually does, but he had to sit still and listen calmly for Robert warned him that the canoe would upset at the slightest motion.
Hilda.It was very diplomatic of Robert.
Miss Morgan.We can sit by the lake and enjoy the breezes.
Lucille.And hear the very latest in the line of dyspepsia and sciatica.
Miss Pickett.Well Lucille, you may accept Betty’s kind offer of a middy blouse and skirt. Hang your coat carefully on a hanger and don’t fall into the lake whatever you do.
Hope.(softly) Hang your clothes on a hickory limb but don’t go near the water.
Betty.Come on girls for we must crowd two weeks’ fun into a single day.
(Exit All)