Light developes light—ad infinitum.St. Louis (Missouri Territory) North America.April 10,A.D.1818.TOALL THE WORLD.—I declare the earth to be hollow, and habitable within; containing a number of concentric spheres, one within the other, and that their poles are open twelve or sixteen degrees. I pledge my life in support of this truth, and am ready to explore the concave, if the world will support and aid me in the undertaking.John Cleves Symmesof Ohio, late Captain of Infantry.I ask one hundred brave companions, well equipped, to start for Siberia, in autumn, with reindeer and sledges, on the ice of the frozen sea. I engage we find a warm country and rich land, stocked with thrifty vegetables and animals, if not men, on reaching about sixty-nine miles northward of latitude 82°. We will return in the succeeding spring.—J. C. S.
Light developes light—ad infinitum.St. Louis (Missouri Territory) North America.April 10,A.D.1818.
TOALL THE WORLD.—I declare the earth to be hollow, and habitable within; containing a number of concentric spheres, one within the other, and that their poles are open twelve or sixteen degrees. I pledge my life in support of this truth, and am ready to explore the concave, if the world will support and aid me in the undertaking.John Cleves Symmesof Ohio, late Captain of Infantry.
I ask one hundred brave companions, well equipped, to start for Siberia, in autumn, with reindeer and sledges, on the ice of the frozen sea. I engage we find a warm country and rich land, stocked with thrifty vegetables and animals, if not men, on reaching about sixty-nine miles northward of latitude 82°. We will return in the succeeding spring.—J. C. S.
Captain Symmes seems pretty positive about getting back, though how he intended to get up again after getting down into one of the lower spheres he doesn’t say. Perhaps a hundred brave companions, standing on each other’s heads, might manage it, and if that was the idea, one of our own learned societies might look into it. Good thick heads would of course be necessary to bear the strain, and that may be, after all, the reason why they are so plentiful.Quien sabe?Far more within the ken of ordinary mortals is the following, which comes from Connecticut, and is well worthy of even that land of “notions:”—
THE SUBSCRIBERBEINGdetermined not to move from this State, requests all persons indebted to pay particular attention to hisNewdefinition of anOldGrammar, viz.Present Tense.I am.Thou art.He is.Iam[48]-In want of money.Thouart[49]Indebted to me.Heis[50]Shortly to be authorized, for the want thereof to take the body.Unless immediate payment is made, you must expect to take a lecture upon mynew plural.The Subscriber offers for sale, at his Store, two rods south of the Fish-market, the following articles, viz.Solid Arguments.Hot Oysters, Boiled Lobsters, Ham and Eggs, Butter and Cheese, &c.Agitations.Cider, Vinegar, Salt, Pickles, etc.Grievances.Pepper-Sauce, Mustard, Cayenne-Pepper.Punishments.Rum, Brandy, Gin, Bitters, etc.Superfluities.Snuff, Tobacco, Segars, Pomatum, etc.Extraordinaries.Sea Serpent’s Bones, Wooden Shoes, Waterwitches, etc.N.B. The above articles will be exchanged forNecessaries,viz.Bank-Bills at par, Crowns, Dollars, Half ditto, Quarter ditto, Pistareens, Nine penny pieces, Four-penny half-penny ditto, or Cents.Terms of Payment:One half the sum down, and the other half on the delivery of thearticles.Rudiments gratis,viz.Those indebted forArgumentsMust not beAgitated;Nor think it aGrievanceIf they should meetPunishmentFor calling suchSuperfluities;Nor think itExtraordinaryThat I find itNecessaryTo demand immediatePayment.ANDREW SMITH.The smallest favour thankfully received.New London,March 1, 1819.
THE SUBSCRIBER
BEINGdetermined not to move from this State, requests all persons indebted to pay particular attention to his
Newdefinition of anOldGrammar, viz.Present Tense.
I am.Thou art.He is.
Unless immediate payment is made, you must expect to take a lecture upon mynew plural.
The Subscriber offers for sale, at his Store, two rods south of the Fish-market, the following articles, viz.
Solid Arguments.Hot Oysters, Boiled Lobsters, Ham and Eggs, Butter and Cheese, &c.Agitations.Cider, Vinegar, Salt, Pickles, etc.Grievances.Pepper-Sauce, Mustard, Cayenne-Pepper.Punishments.Rum, Brandy, Gin, Bitters, etc.Superfluities.Snuff, Tobacco, Segars, Pomatum, etc.Extraordinaries.Sea Serpent’s Bones, Wooden Shoes, Waterwitches, etc.
N.B. The above articles will be exchanged for
Necessaries,viz.
Bank-Bills at par, Crowns, Dollars, Half ditto, Quarter ditto, Pistareens, Nine penny pieces, Four-penny half-penny ditto, or Cents.
Terms of Payment:
One half the sum down, and the other half on the delivery of thearticles.
Rudiments gratis,viz.
Those indebted forArgumentsMust not beAgitated;Nor think it aGrievanceIf they should meetPunishmentFor calling suchSuperfluities;Nor think itExtraordinaryThat I find itNecessaryTo demand immediatePayment.
ANDREW SMITH.
The smallest favour thankfully received.
New London,March 1, 1819.
It seems a pity that such genius as that of “the subscriber” should have been wasted upon trifles; but possibly in such a country as the United States, where nothing is beyond a man’s reach if his head is only long enough, he reaped the honours and rewards to which his talents entitled him. So many famous people have been called Smith, in America as well as here, that it would be vain to attempt a discovery of his subsequent career. Maybe he went to New York, and composed the following advertisement, which is just of three years’ later date, and seems strange to those who know the Empire City in its present conditiononly:—
ANYperson in want of a DEAD PIG may find one, that will probably answer his purpose, in the middle of Broadway, between Broome and Spring Streets. Applicants need not be in any great haste, as it is expected that he will lie there several days; and if the warm weather should last, and the carriages will let him alone, he will grow—bigger and bigger.
ANYperson in want of a DEAD PIG may find one, that will probably answer his purpose, in the middle of Broadway, between Broome and Spring Streets. Applicants need not be in any great haste, as it is expected that he will lie there several days; and if the warm weather should last, and the carriages will let him alone, he will grow—bigger and bigger.
Getting nearer to modern times—1822 is very old for American notions—we find a New Yorker who speaks his mind freely, and treats his customers with moral illustration as well as businessdetail:—
GEORGEOTT, 262, North Second Street, respectfully informs his customers and friends in general, that his bakehouse is in full operation, and that he is always prepared to supply them with loaf-bread, crackers, pilot-bread, fresh rusks, &c. &c.
GEORGEOTT, 262, North Second Street, respectfully informs his customers and friends in general, that his bakehouse is in full operation, and that he is always prepared to supply them with loaf-bread, crackers, pilot-bread, fresh rusks, &c. &c.
Having disposed of his list of wares, our baker proceeds, and no one can accuse him of mincing thematter:—
On his part nothing shall be left undone to give complete satisfaction to his customers, and in return he expects them topay punctuallywhen their bills are presented. Experience having taught him, that a disorderly soldier in the ranks and a bad paymaster in a baker’s list of customers, are the most troublesome customers a man can have anything to do with, he requests those who do not calculate on paying promptly, to oblige him so far as to give their custom to a more accommodating baker.Being anxious to take a journey for the benefit of his health, which is much impaired, those indebted to him would oblige him very much by making immediate payment; and he requests those who may have claims against him to call and receive their money.
On his part nothing shall be left undone to give complete satisfaction to his customers, and in return he expects them topay punctuallywhen their bills are presented. Experience having taught him, that a disorderly soldier in the ranks and a bad paymaster in a baker’s list of customers, are the most troublesome customers a man can have anything to do with, he requests those who do not calculate on paying promptly, to oblige him so far as to give their custom to a more accommodating baker.
Being anxious to take a journey for the benefit of his health, which is much impaired, those indebted to him would oblige him very much by making immediate payment; and he requests those who may have claims against him to call and receive their money.
Payment of quite a different kind is treated of in the next advertisement, which few boys, old or young, will read without feeling interested. It is, though in such few words, a marvellous exhibition of thesuaviter in modoand thefortiter in rewell mixed; and one can well understand the writer to be an agreeable friend and jolly companion, but a strictdisciplinarian:—
Flushing Institute.DEARBOYS—Trouble begins Septr. 15.E. A. FAIRCHILD.
Flushing Institute.
DEARBOYS—Trouble begins Septr. 15.
E. A. FAIRCHILD.
It was said of one of our public schoolmasters that it was a pleasure to be flogged by him. We will take advantage of the present opportunity to remind those who have accepted it as a proverb, and believed it firmly, that the originator of the remark, like the originators of many other observations, never practically put his ideas to the test. Possibly on the same principle it would be a pleasure to have one’s property sold off by auction, provided the advertisementwere drawn out like that of the Yankee auctioneer from which we select thisportion:—
I can sell for eighteen hundred and thirty nine dollars, a palace, a sweet and pensive retirement, on the virgin banks of the Hudson, containing 85 acres. The land is luxuriously divided by the hand of nature and art, into pasture and tillage, into plain and declivity, into the stern abruptness and the dalliance of most tufted meadow. Streams of sparkling gladness (thick with trout) dance through this wilderness of beauty, to the music of the cricket and grasshopper. The evergreen sighs as the evening zephyr flits through its shadowy bosom, and the aspen trembles like the love-splitting heart of a damsel. Fruits of the tropics in golden beauty melt on the bows, and the bees go heavy and sweet from the fields to their garnering hives. The stables are worthy of the steeds of Nimrod or the studs of Achilles, and its henery was built expressly for the birds of paradise; while sombre in the distance, like the cave of a hermit, glimpses are caught of the dog house. Here poets have come and warbled their lays, here sculptors have cut, here painters have robbed the scene of dreamy landscapes, and here the philosopher discovered the stone which made him the alchymist of nature. As the young moon hangs like a cutting of silver from the blue breast of the sky, an angel may be seen each night dancing with golden tiptoes on the greensward. (N.B. This angel goes with the place.)
I can sell for eighteen hundred and thirty nine dollars, a palace, a sweet and pensive retirement, on the virgin banks of the Hudson, containing 85 acres. The land is luxuriously divided by the hand of nature and art, into pasture and tillage, into plain and declivity, into the stern abruptness and the dalliance of most tufted meadow. Streams of sparkling gladness (thick with trout) dance through this wilderness of beauty, to the music of the cricket and grasshopper. The evergreen sighs as the evening zephyr flits through its shadowy bosom, and the aspen trembles like the love-splitting heart of a damsel. Fruits of the tropics in golden beauty melt on the bows, and the bees go heavy and sweet from the fields to their garnering hives. The stables are worthy of the steeds of Nimrod or the studs of Achilles, and its henery was built expressly for the birds of paradise; while sombre in the distance, like the cave of a hermit, glimpses are caught of the dog house. Here poets have come and warbled their lays, here sculptors have cut, here painters have robbed the scene of dreamy landscapes, and here the philosopher discovered the stone which made him the alchymist of nature. As the young moon hangs like a cutting of silver from the blue breast of the sky, an angel may be seen each night dancing with golden tiptoes on the greensward. (N.B. This angel goes with the place.)
Even our great Robins in his best form never exceeded this in picturesqueness of description. But our man could stay, and this one had shot his bolt when he got to the finish of the foregoing paragraph. At the commencement of the war against the “Seceshers,” a good many of the Northern tradesmen made capital out of it, the following, in aTribuneof February 1861, forming a case inpoint:—
IMPORTANT FROM CHARLESTOWN!MAJOR ANDERSON TAKEN!Entrance obtained under a flag of truce!New Yorkers implicated!Great Excitement! What will the Southern Confederacy do next?ONthe 8th instant, about twelve hours before midnight, under cover of a bright sun, Col. George S. Cooke, of the Charlestown PhotographicLightArtillery, with a strong force, made his way to FortSumter. On being discovered by the vigilant sentry, he ran up a flag of truce. The gate of the fortress being open, Col. Cooke immediately and heroically penetrated to the presence of Major Anderson, and levelling a double barrelled camera, demanded his unconditional surrender in the name of E. Anthony and the Photographic Community. Seeing that resistance would be in vain, the Major at once surrendered, and was borne in triumph to Charlestown, forwarded to New York, and is now on sale in the shape of Exquisite Card Photographs at 28 cents per copy, by E. Anthony, &c. &c.
IMPORTANT FROM CHARLESTOWN!MAJOR ANDERSON TAKEN!Entrance obtained under a flag of truce!New Yorkers implicated!Great Excitement! What will the Southern Confederacy do next?
ONthe 8th instant, about twelve hours before midnight, under cover of a bright sun, Col. George S. Cooke, of the Charlestown PhotographicLightArtillery, with a strong force, made his way to FortSumter. On being discovered by the vigilant sentry, he ran up a flag of truce. The gate of the fortress being open, Col. Cooke immediately and heroically penetrated to the presence of Major Anderson, and levelling a double barrelled camera, demanded his unconditional surrender in the name of E. Anthony and the Photographic Community. Seeing that resistance would be in vain, the Major at once surrendered, and was borne in triumph to Charlestown, forwarded to New York, and is now on sale in the shape of Exquisite Card Photographs at 28 cents per copy, by E. Anthony, &c. &c.
“Old McCalla” is or was a character well known in Princetown, Indiana. A few years back, when the following was published, he was nearly ninety years of age, but was still capable of minding his ownbusiness:—
WANTED.—Two or three boarders of a decent stripe, such as go to bed at nine o’clock without a pipe or cigar in their mouth. I wish them to rise in time to wash their faces and comb their heads before breakfast. When they put on their boots to draw down their pants over them, and not have them rumpled about their knees, which is a sure sign of a rowdy. When they sit down to rest or warm by the fire, not to put their feet on the mantlepiece or bureau, nor spit in the bread tray. And to pay their board weekly, monthly, or quarterly—as may be agreed upon—with a smile upon their faces, and they will find me as pleasant as an opposum up a persimmon tree.Old McCalla.
WANTED.—Two or three boarders of a decent stripe, such as go to bed at nine o’clock without a pipe or cigar in their mouth. I wish them to rise in time to wash their faces and comb their heads before breakfast. When they put on their boots to draw down their pants over them, and not have them rumpled about their knees, which is a sure sign of a rowdy. When they sit down to rest or warm by the fire, not to put their feet on the mantlepiece or bureau, nor spit in the bread tray. And to pay their board weekly, monthly, or quarterly—as may be agreed upon—with a smile upon their faces, and they will find me as pleasant as an opposum up a persimmon tree.
Old McCalla.
Another boarding-house advertisement, which comes from Portland, Oregon, is also characteristic. A correspondent informs us that the Mr Thompson mentioned in it is a hard-working blacksmith, and he and his wife run the concern on the temperanceplan:—
THOMPSON’S TWO-BIT HOUSE,Front St., bet. Main and Madison.NO DECEPTION THERE!Hi-you Muck-a-muck, and Here’s Your Bill of Fare:THREEKINDS OF MEAT FOR DINNER; ALSO FOR Breakfast and Supper. Ham and Eggs every other day, and Fresh Fish, Hot Rolls, and Cake in abundance.Hurry up; and none of your sneering at CHEAP BOARDING-HOUSES. Now’s the time to have the wrinkles taken out of your bellies after the hard winter.Board and Lodging$5 00Board$4 00Six NEW rooms, furnished with beds—the BEST in town—at my Branch House, corner First and Jefferson.I am ready for the BONE and SINEW of the country.
THOMPSON’S TWO-BIT HOUSE,Front St., bet. Main and Madison.
NO DECEPTION THERE!
Hi-you Muck-a-muck, and Here’s Your Bill of Fare:
THREEKINDS OF MEAT FOR DINNER; ALSO FOR Breakfast and Supper. Ham and Eggs every other day, and Fresh Fish, Hot Rolls, and Cake in abundance.
Hurry up; and none of your sneering at CHEAP BOARDING-HOUSES. Now’s the time to have the wrinkles taken out of your bellies after the hard winter.
Board and Lodging$5 00Board$4 00
Six NEW rooms, furnished with beds—the BEST in town—at my Branch House, corner First and Jefferson.
I am ready for the BONE and SINEW of the country.
“Hi-you Muck a-muck,” we are also told, is a phrase in the Chinook language for plenty to eat. What the Chinook language is we must leave our readers to discover for themselves. Is it “heathen Chinee” as distinguished from the pure and unadulterated article? We pause for the reply of an expert, and while pausing, think that the following may be contemplated with some degree of interest, for families over here are drifting to the same state of difficulty very fast. A good servant is a jewel to be worn in one’s bosom even in London, and so it is nothing wonderful that in Syracuse, U.S., five years back, this should haveappeared:—
WANTED—A Good SERVANT GIRL to whom the highest wages will be paid. Having had great difficulty in procuring good help, on account of the misfortune of having seven small children, we will poison, drown, or otherwise make away with four of them on application of a first class servant girl. Apply at the office of this paper.
WANTED—A Good SERVANT GIRL to whom the highest wages will be paid. Having had great difficulty in procuring good help, on account of the misfortune of having seven small children, we will poison, drown, or otherwise make away with four of them on application of a first class servant girl. Apply at the office of this paper.
What a glorious subject this would have been for Leech or Doyle in the palmy days ofPunch, when wit and humour, and not high art and sober earnest, were considered essentials for the illustration of a comic paper, and when jokes were not regarded as ill-timed on the part of a contributor! Historic painters are now the only humourists, and we do hope one, either English or American, may see this, and avail himself of it. The next is from an Iowa periodical, and will show our impartiality to all states in the Union, no one having received an undue share of attention—that is, beyond its merits. It will, besides, bring us up to comparatively recentdates:—
CAUTION.WHEREAS, one U. T. S. RICE, a small, insignificant-looking whelp, who wears spectacles, carries a large cane, has a limp in his walk, talks smooth, and lies like Satan, has been obtaining money and credit by representing himself as a partner in the firm of Smart and Parrott, or as agent for us: we hereby caution all persons that we are not responsible for any of his acts. He is in no way connected with us, but is a perfect dead beat in every sense of the word.
CAUTION.
WHEREAS, one U. T. S. RICE, a small, insignificant-looking whelp, who wears spectacles, carries a large cane, has a limp in his walk, talks smooth, and lies like Satan, has been obtaining money and credit by representing himself as a partner in the firm of Smart and Parrott, or as agent for us: we hereby caution all persons that we are not responsible for any of his acts. He is in no way connected with us, but is a perfect dead beat in every sense of the word.
“Dead beat” is a comprehensive and transatlantic euphemism for the more expressive thief, scoundrel, swindler, or sharper, any one of which, or all four combined, if he so pleases, the “dead beat” may be; and the subject of the Iowa notice seems a full-fledged and duly-qualified representative of the class.
It is hardly necessary to state that in America quacks and quack medicines abound. The papers are full of the advertisements of these men and their nostrums, and it would be quite easy to fill a very large volume with specimens. So much attention has already been given to the charlatans of Europe that we must perforce content ourselves with a very few specimens from therépertoiresof their American brethren; but the chief difficulty is not what to select but what to omit. One of the evils which medical impostors in the States pretend to cure is that of drunkenness, and a notice inHarper’s Weekly, which seems to be the chief organ of this kind of advertisers, runs asfollows:—
DRUNKARDS, Stop! G. C. Beers, M.D., 670, Washington Street, Boston, Mass., has a medicine that will cure intemperance. Recommended by Judge Russell. Can be given secretly. Send stamp for circular.
DRUNKARDS, Stop! G. C. Beers, M.D., 670, Washington Street, Boston, Mass., has a medicine that will cure intemperance. Recommended by Judge Russell. Can be given secretly. Send stamp for circular.
Another vendor of specifics gives in theNew York Sunthis astonishing statement and purely unselfishpromise:—
TRIEDfriends the best of friends. Since the suspension of H. C. Thorpe’s advertisements, the number of deaths by consumption is truly astonishing; advertisements will now appear for the benefit of the afflicted.
TRIEDfriends the best of friends. Since the suspension of H. C. Thorpe’s advertisements, the number of deaths by consumption is truly astonishing; advertisements will now appear for the benefit of the afflicted.
But this is nothing compared with the marvellous Riga Balsam, about the incomparable virtues of which we have a long advertisement, which, after all sorts of extraordinary statements, endsthus:—
N.B. The trial of the Riga Balsam is this: Take a hew or a ram, drive a nail through its skull, brains and tongue, then pour some of it into the wound, it will directly stop the blood and cure the wound in eight or nine minutes, and the creature will eat as before.A stoop costs two dollars, and it is sold in smaller portions; at the sale every person gets a direction which describes its surprising virtues and how it is to be used. The glasses, jars and bottles, are sealed up with this seal (A. K. Balsam) to prevent counterfeits.Ecclesiasticus, chap. xxxiii. ver. 4. The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth, and he that is wise will not abhor them.
N.B. The trial of the Riga Balsam is this: Take a hew or a ram, drive a nail through its skull, brains and tongue, then pour some of it into the wound, it will directly stop the blood and cure the wound in eight or nine minutes, and the creature will eat as before.
A stoop costs two dollars, and it is sold in smaller portions; at the sale every person gets a direction which describes its surprising virtues and how it is to be used. The glasses, jars and bottles, are sealed up with this seal (A. K. Balsam) to prevent counterfeits.
Ecclesiasticus, chap. xxxiii. ver. 4. The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth, and he that is wise will not abhor them.
Which forcibly reminds us of an equally wonderful specific which was known in Holland about a century ago, if we may believe theDutch Mercuriusfor January 1772, which states that “on December the 30th, 1771, Mr Tunnestrik experimented in the presence of the Prince Stadholder and sundry professors, by driving an iron spike into a horse’s head, and afterwards pulling it out with a pair of pincers. Hereupon he poured certain oils by him invented into the wound, by means of which the horse within six minutes was whole again, and not even a scar remained to be seen.” This horse, like the celebrated leg which was cured of its fracture with tar-water and oakum, must have been made of wood. With regard to the Riga Balsam, we might swallow that statement with the assistance, say, of another wonderful American potion, the Plantation Bitters, which, if we are to judge by the following, could help anythingdown:—
S. T.—1860.—X.TObe, or not to be, that is the question.Whether to suffer with mental anguish,Feverish lips, cracking pains, dyspeptic agonies,And nameless bodily suffering;Or whether, with sudden dash,Seize a bottle ofPlantation Bitters,And, as Gunther swears, be myself a man again.Gunther said my eyes were sallow,My visage haggard, my breath tremendous bad,My disposition troublesome—in fact,He gently hinted I was fast becomingQuite a nuisance.Four bottles now beneath my vest have disappeared:My food has relish, my appetite is keen,My step elastic, my mind brilliant, andNine pounds avoirdupois is added to my weight.
S. T.—1860.—X.TObe, or not to be, that is the question.Whether to suffer with mental anguish,Feverish lips, cracking pains, dyspeptic agonies,And nameless bodily suffering;Or whether, with sudden dash,Seize a bottle ofPlantation Bitters,And, as Gunther swears, be myself a man again.Gunther said my eyes were sallow,My visage haggard, my breath tremendous bad,My disposition troublesome—in fact,He gently hinted I was fast becomingQuite a nuisance.Four bottles now beneath my vest have disappeared:My food has relish, my appetite is keen,My step elastic, my mind brilliant, andNine pounds avoirdupois is added to my weight.
S. T.—1860.—X.
TObe, or not to be, that is the question.Whether to suffer with mental anguish,Feverish lips, cracking pains, dyspeptic agonies,And nameless bodily suffering;Or whether, with sudden dash,Seize a bottle ofPlantation Bitters,And, as Gunther swears, be myself a man again.Gunther said my eyes were sallow,My visage haggard, my breath tremendous bad,My disposition troublesome—in fact,He gently hinted I was fast becomingQuite a nuisance.Four bottles now beneath my vest have disappeared:My food has relish, my appetite is keen,My step elastic, my mind brilliant, andNine pounds avoirdupois is added to my weight.
TObe, or not to be, that is the question.Whether to suffer with mental anguish,Feverish lips, cracking pains, dyspeptic agonies,And nameless bodily suffering;Or whether, with sudden dash,Seize a bottle ofPlantation Bitters,And, as Gunther swears, be myself a man again.Gunther said my eyes were sallow,My visage haggard, my breath tremendous bad,My disposition troublesome—in fact,He gently hinted I was fast becomingQuite a nuisance.Four bottles now beneath my vest have disappeared:My food has relish, my appetite is keen,My step elastic, my mind brilliant, andNine pounds avoirdupois is added to my weight.
The formula “S. T.—1860.—X.” appears at the top of every advertisement of the bitters, and the first two portions doubtless refer to the name of the inventor and the date of the invention, whilexmay be the unknown quantity which has to be taken before the promises held forth in the advertisement are fulfilled. A good instance of the difference between precept and practice is shown by the annexed, which comes well from a firm in no way disdainful of the uses ofadvertising:—
S. T.—1860.—X.SOMEof our contemporaries seem to think that the triumph of their cause depended, like the fate of Jericho, upon the amount of noise made. In these days of refinement and luxury, an article of real intrinsic merit is soon appreciated, hence the unbounded and unparalleled success ofPlantation Bitters.
S. T.—1860.—X.
SOMEof our contemporaries seem to think that the triumph of their cause depended, like the fate of Jericho, upon the amount of noise made. In these days of refinement and luxury, an article of real intrinsic merit is soon appreciated, hence the unbounded and unparalleled success of
Plantation Bitters.
Like the two preceding, this is fromHarper’s Weekly, the price for advertisements in the inner pages of which is said to be 1 dollar 50 cents per line, about five times as much as any of our highest priced papers, for the lines are by no means long for the money. The best customerHarper’shas, and at the price perhaps the best customer any paper ever had, is Professor Leonidas Hamilton, who puffs himself in the most extraordinary manner, being always well before his beloved public, and now and again havingsevencolumns of closely printed matter inHarper’s, at the exorbitant price just mentioned. This lengthy advertisement is called “ATimely Warning, and the Reason Why,” and is constructed upon truly Yankee principles. Itcommences:—
HOWsublime, how beautiful the thought that the researches and developments of the Nineteenth Century have added fresh and glorious laurels to the great temple of fame and science! In every department and phase of progressive development the hand of the sage and philosopher is ever busy—ever ready to devise means for the amelioration of human woe and the prolongation of life.Think you his an enviable position—an existence without stern obstacles and perplexing cares? Nay, far from it; for he plucks the lovely rose in peril of the thorn; he climbs to eminence and renown, and every step he gains is planted on a prostrate foe. He digs the gold and tries it; another and a bolder hand must strike the blow that stamps its worth and gives it currency as genuine.It must be admitted by every rational mind that the man who contributes the most toward promoting the happiness and welfare of the human race, must of necessity be the most highly esteemed by his fellow-men; acting upon this principle, Prof.R. L. Hamilton, of New York, has, by patient investigation, and vast experience, solved the uncertain question in relation to the vexed and important subject of Liver Complaints and other chronic diseases.
HOWsublime, how beautiful the thought that the researches and developments of the Nineteenth Century have added fresh and glorious laurels to the great temple of fame and science! In every department and phase of progressive development the hand of the sage and philosopher is ever busy—ever ready to devise means for the amelioration of human woe and the prolongation of life.
Think you his an enviable position—an existence without stern obstacles and perplexing cares? Nay, far from it; for he plucks the lovely rose in peril of the thorn; he climbs to eminence and renown, and every step he gains is planted on a prostrate foe. He digs the gold and tries it; another and a bolder hand must strike the blow that stamps its worth and gives it currency as genuine.
It must be admitted by every rational mind that the man who contributes the most toward promoting the happiness and welfare of the human race, must of necessity be the most highly esteemed by his fellow-men; acting upon this principle, Prof.R. L. Hamilton, of New York, has, by patient investigation, and vast experience, solved the uncertain question in relation to the vexed and important subject of Liver Complaints and other chronic diseases.
After a long preamble of this kind the Professor describes the “Symptoms of Liver Complaints,” from which by an easy transition he comes to some “Important Facts,” informing his “dear reader” that he “has remedies that will strike at the root of them as by magic,” for “there is no such word as fail in his treatment.” After that, a couple of columns are devoted to enumerate the “Reasons why Dr Hamilton is successful.” One of these is—“Because he has investigated every remedy known to science, and, in addition, has new remedies,of the fields and forestsof his own Discovery, and of the greatest possible efficacy and value.” He ends this part with the awful words, “The truth must be told if the heavens fall,” and a lot of testimonials are produced, each with a sensation heading, and relating the most wonderful effects produced by the Doctor’s medicines. Thus one has got “an old lung difficulty;” another has “gained twenty pounds in three months,”—not money unfortunately,but flesh. One of the most curious puffs arising out of these testimonials is thefollowing:—
IS ALL THIS TRUE?Mr. Samuel L. Furlong, of Muskegan, Mich., in a letter dated April 6, 1868, writes:“I have cut outSeventeenof the testimonials that were in theNew York Tribune, and sent them to the persons themselves, with letters of inquiry about them, and also about you, and every one stated that they were true, and recommending your remedies very highly; also giving a history of their cases, which was, indeed, very cheering to a poor man, with a sick wife and six small children to support.”
IS ALL THIS TRUE?
Mr. Samuel L. Furlong, of Muskegan, Mich., in a letter dated April 6, 1868, writes:
“I have cut outSeventeenof the testimonials that were in theNew York Tribune, and sent them to the persons themselves, with letters of inquiry about them, and also about you, and every one stated that they were true, and recommending your remedies very highly; also giving a history of their cases, which was, indeed, very cheering to a poor man, with a sick wife and six small children to support.”
The inconsequence of the conclusion is quite refreshing. What benefit this distressed family could have derived from the perusal of the testimonials we will not presume to say. Thus by an easy climax of sensational headings and cures, we arrive at three final articles, respectively headed, “In his mercy he saves the afflicted!”—“Read, ye afflicted”—and “Appreciate it fully.” Then follows the “Conclusion” that it would be useless to cry “humbug,” for the above parties have volunteered to give their evidence for the benefit of the suffering and for no other purpose, and the whole ends with a friendly recommendation to “have no hesitancy in writing to the Doctor, and state to him your case in full, and he will deal honestly and promptly with you.”
Another very extensive dealer in advertisements, who also usesHarper’scolumns considerably, is the proprietor of the Pain Paint. His works are humorous and entertaining, the following being a fairexample:—
MYWIFE HAD AN ULCEROn her LegThirteen years,Caused by various veinsExtending from her ancle to her knee.Some places eaten awayTo the bone.I have employedOver twenty eminent physiciansAt vast expense,But all attempts at cureProved utterly abortiveUntil I used Wolcott’s Pain Paint,Which the Doctors told meWas humbug.But humbug or notIt has done the work completeIn less than one month,Removing the painAt first application.I kept her leg wetWith PAIN PAINT constantlyTill healed.I wish we had more humbugs as usefulAs Dr. Wolcott’s PAIN PAINT.I am well known in this city,And any personCan make further inquiryAt 101 West Street, New York,At the Hanover HouseOf which I am proprietor.And I think I can satisfyAll as to the benefitDerived by the use of PAIN PAINT.May 12, 1868.PETER MINCK.
MYWIFE HAD AN ULCEROn her LegThirteen years,Caused by various veinsExtending from her ancle to her knee.Some places eaten awayTo the bone.I have employedOver twenty eminent physiciansAt vast expense,But all attempts at cureProved utterly abortiveUntil I used Wolcott’s Pain Paint,Which the Doctors told meWas humbug.But humbug or notIt has done the work completeIn less than one month,Removing the painAt first application.I kept her leg wetWith PAIN PAINT constantlyTill healed.I wish we had more humbugs as usefulAs Dr. Wolcott’s PAIN PAINT.I am well known in this city,And any personCan make further inquiryAt 101 West Street, New York,At the Hanover HouseOf which I am proprietor.And I think I can satisfyAll as to the benefitDerived by the use of PAIN PAINT.
MYWIFE HAD AN ULCEROn her LegThirteen years,Caused by various veinsExtending from her ancle to her knee.Some places eaten awayTo the bone.I have employedOver twenty eminent physiciansAt vast expense,But all attempts at cureProved utterly abortiveUntil I used Wolcott’s Pain Paint,Which the Doctors told meWas humbug.But humbug or notIt has done the work completeIn less than one month,Removing the painAt first application.I kept her leg wetWith PAIN PAINT constantlyTill healed.I wish we had more humbugs as usefulAs Dr. Wolcott’s PAIN PAINT.I am well known in this city,And any personCan make further inquiryAt 101 West Street, New York,At the Hanover HouseOf which I am proprietor.And I think I can satisfyAll as to the benefitDerived by the use of PAIN PAINT.
MYWIFE HAD AN ULCEROn her LegThirteen years,Caused by various veinsExtending from her ancle to her knee.Some places eaten awayTo the bone.I have employedOver twenty eminent physiciansAt vast expense,But all attempts at cureProved utterly abortiveUntil I used Wolcott’s Pain Paint,Which the Doctors told meWas humbug.But humbug or notIt has done the work completeIn less than one month,Removing the painAt first application.I kept her leg wetWith PAIN PAINT constantlyTill healed.I wish we had more humbugs as usefulAs Dr. Wolcott’s PAIN PAINT.I am well known in this city,And any personCan make further inquiryAt 101 West Street, New York,At the Hanover HouseOf which I am proprietor.And I think I can satisfyAll as to the benefitDerived by the use of PAIN PAINT.
May 12, 1868.PETER MINCK.
There are many advertisements from Hamilton, Wolcott, and various other “professors” still before us, but with the foregoing we will conclude, and leave the curious to search the American journals for themselves. Those who like to take the trouble will find in them an inexhaustible mine of wealth. The reflection naturally arises in the minds of readers, that the Americans cannot, after all, be such a wonderfully smart nation, to allow an almost countless horde of quacks and impostors to batten on them, and to make large fortunes even in the face of the tremendous sums they have to pay for advertisements.
Extensive as our Colonies are, and numerous and excellent as are the newspapers published in them, the advertisements of the present day may be said with justice to offerno distinctive features whatever. With the exception of the names of streets and towns, the trade and other notices are just the same as appear in the home journals; and even the cries which now and again go up from the Australian papers for missing relatives are paralleled by similar advertisements constantly appearing in our own metropolis. We have, though, two or three quaint old specimens which have been lighted upon at rare intervals, and more because it would be unfair to pass over our extensive dependencies without mention than for any other reason we offer them to the consideration of the reader. The first is nearly eighty years old, and is copied verbatim from a Jamaica paper of theperiod:—
Kingston, March 7, 1795.HALF-A-JOE REWARD.WALKEDaway, about a Month ago, a Negro Wench, namedPrudence; she is of the Eboe Country, a yellow Complexion, round chubby Face, goggle or full Eyes, has lost several of her fore Teeth, is short, lively, and active, a great Thief, speaks quick and tolerable good English; is one of the black Parson Lisle’s Congregation; she is marked on both Shoulders and the left Cheek R. L.; had a Collar about her Neck, Chain and Lock, as a Punishment for her trying to entice a Man away the second Time; she is capable of very great Deception; she lards almost every Word with “plase God,” or some pious Expression, and will thieve at the same Time.It is likely she will endeavour to pass as free; she formerly belonged to Mary Roberts, and lately to Sarah Osborn; she has been twenty Years in the Town of Kingston, and about fourteen Months in the Country. When she left Kingston she secreted a Quantity of her Clothes with some of her Tribe; if gone there, she will be able to change her Dress. Is well acquainted in Spanish-town, and many other Parts of the Island; she possesses a great Share of the “holy Goggle,” that is, throwing up her Eyes, and calling upon everything that is sacred, even when stolen Goods have been found upon her. She lately ran away, and was taken up. Whoever apprehends her a second Time, and lodges her in any Workhouse or Gaol in this Island, shall be entitled to the above Reward, and all reasonable Charges, on Application to Linwood and Nicoll, Merchants, in Kingston; or the Subscriber, at Wakefield, in Cedar Valley, St. George’s.ROBERT LOOSELY.N.B. All Masters of Vessels are hereby cautioned against carrying her off; and all Persons found harbouring her, will be prosecuted with the utmost Rigour of the Law.
Kingston, March 7, 1795.
HALF-A-JOE REWARD.
WALKEDaway, about a Month ago, a Negro Wench, namedPrudence; she is of the Eboe Country, a yellow Complexion, round chubby Face, goggle or full Eyes, has lost several of her fore Teeth, is short, lively, and active, a great Thief, speaks quick and tolerable good English; is one of the black Parson Lisle’s Congregation; she is marked on both Shoulders and the left Cheek R. L.; had a Collar about her Neck, Chain and Lock, as a Punishment for her trying to entice a Man away the second Time; she is capable of very great Deception; she lards almost every Word with “plase God,” or some pious Expression, and will thieve at the same Time.
It is likely she will endeavour to pass as free; she formerly belonged to Mary Roberts, and lately to Sarah Osborn; she has been twenty Years in the Town of Kingston, and about fourteen Months in the Country. When she left Kingston she secreted a Quantity of her Clothes with some of her Tribe; if gone there, she will be able to change her Dress. Is well acquainted in Spanish-town, and many other Parts of the Island; she possesses a great Share of the “holy Goggle,” that is, throwing up her Eyes, and calling upon everything that is sacred, even when stolen Goods have been found upon her. She lately ran away, and was taken up. Whoever apprehends her a second Time, and lodges her in any Workhouse or Gaol in this Island, shall be entitled to the above Reward, and all reasonable Charges, on Application to Linwood and Nicoll, Merchants, in Kingston; or the Subscriber, at Wakefield, in Cedar Valley, St. George’s.
ROBERT LOOSELY.
N.B. All Masters of Vessels are hereby cautioned against carrying her off; and all Persons found harbouring her, will be prosecuted with the utmost Rigour of the Law.
The next is of a considerably later time, being under date 1818, and comes from a different quarter of the globe. It refers to a raffle for women, and was published in a daily paper ofCalcutta:—
FEMALESRAFFLED FOR.—Be it known, that Six Fair Pretty Young LADIES, with two sweet and engaging CHILDREN, lately imported from Europe, having roses of health blooming on their cheeks, and joy sparkling in their eyes, possessing amiable tempers and highly accomplished, whom the most indifferent cannot behold without expressions of rapture, are to be raffled for, next door to the British Gallery. Scheme: Twelve Tickets, at 12 rupees each; the highest of the three throws, doubtless, takes the most fascinating, &c. &c.
FEMALESRAFFLED FOR.—Be it known, that Six Fair Pretty Young LADIES, with two sweet and engaging CHILDREN, lately imported from Europe, having roses of health blooming on their cheeks, and joy sparkling in their eyes, possessing amiable tempers and highly accomplished, whom the most indifferent cannot behold without expressions of rapture, are to be raffled for, next door to the British Gallery. Scheme: Twelve Tickets, at 12 rupees each; the highest of the three throws, doubtless, takes the most fascinating, &c. &c.
Modern improvements have, after all, somewhat benefited the world. Who would dream nowadays of such a scheme having been publicly advertised in a British dominion less than sixty years since? And this was not by any means the latest of such speculations either, yet it will be news to many that, even at the date given, such transactions were openly conducted. The next, also from Calcutta, is half-a-dozen years later, and treats of quite another vanity of the owners of thesoil:—
NOTICE.—Mr W. M‘Cleish begs to state to his friends and the public that he has received by the most recent arrivals the Prettiest Waistcoat Pieces that were ever seen: really it would be worth any gentleman’s while even to look at them. It surpasses his weak understanding, how man who is born of a woman and full of trouble, could invent such pretty things.It strikes him forcibly that the patterns and texture must have been undoubtedly invented by some wise philosopher.Ladies, although my shop’s small, I pray you won’t fear,I turned out my pelisses, the first of the land sure may wear;If they are not well finished, or the best of trimmings—I will undertake to eat backs, breasts, sleeves, and linings.No. 39, Cossitollah, Jan. 4, 1824.
NOTICE.—Mr W. M‘Cleish begs to state to his friends and the public that he has received by the most recent arrivals the Prettiest Waistcoat Pieces that were ever seen: really it would be worth any gentleman’s while even to look at them. It surpasses his weak understanding, how man who is born of a woman and full of trouble, could invent such pretty things.
It strikes him forcibly that the patterns and texture must have been undoubtedly invented by some wise philosopher.
Ladies, although my shop’s small, I pray you won’t fear,I turned out my pelisses, the first of the land sure may wear;If they are not well finished, or the best of trimmings—I will undertake to eat backs, breasts, sleeves, and linings.
Ladies, although my shop’s small, I pray you won’t fear,I turned out my pelisses, the first of the land sure may wear;If they are not well finished, or the best of trimmings—I will undertake to eat backs, breasts, sleeves, and linings.
Ladies, although my shop’s small, I pray you won’t fear,I turned out my pelisses, the first of the land sure may wear;If they are not well finished, or the best of trimmings—I will undertake to eat backs, breasts, sleeves, and linings.
No. 39, Cossitollah, Jan. 4, 1824.
Australia offers us, by means of theSydney Gazetteof August 1825, an advertisement worthperusal:—
MRSBROWN respectfully thanks the community of thieves for relieving her from the fatigues and wearisomeness of keeping a chandler’s shop, by taking the following goods off her hands; viz.—35 yards of shirting, 12 do. of muslin, 40 do. of calico, and various articles, as the auctioneer terms it, “too many to mention in an advertisement.” But the gentlemen in their despatch of business forgot that they had taken along with them an infant’s paraphernalia, two dozen of clouts, so elegantly termed by washerwomen. If the professors of felony do not give a dinner to their pals, and convert them into d’oyleys for finger glasses, Mrs Brown will thank them to return them, as they would not be so unmagnanimous and deficient of honour to keep such bagatelles from a poor mother and four children. This is to apprize the receivers of stolen property, that she will sooner or later have the pleasure of seeing their necks stretched, and that they will receive a tight cravat under the gallows by their beloved friend Jack Ketch. As the old saying is “The better the day the better the deed,” the fraternity performed their operations on Sunday night last.17, Philip Street.
MRSBROWN respectfully thanks the community of thieves for relieving her from the fatigues and wearisomeness of keeping a chandler’s shop, by taking the following goods off her hands; viz.—35 yards of shirting, 12 do. of muslin, 40 do. of calico, and various articles, as the auctioneer terms it, “too many to mention in an advertisement.” But the gentlemen in their despatch of business forgot that they had taken along with them an infant’s paraphernalia, two dozen of clouts, so elegantly termed by washerwomen. If the professors of felony do not give a dinner to their pals, and convert them into d’oyleys for finger glasses, Mrs Brown will thank them to return them, as they would not be so unmagnanimous and deficient of honour to keep such bagatelles from a poor mother and four children. This is to apprize the receivers of stolen property, that she will sooner or later have the pleasure of seeing their necks stretched, and that they will receive a tight cravat under the gallows by their beloved friend Jack Ketch. As the old saying is “The better the day the better the deed,” the fraternity performed their operations on Sunday night last.
17, Philip Street.
Another from the same source, though of somewhat later date, refers to a failing not at all peculiar to the ladies and gentlemen of Sydney, as most owners and collectors of books have doubtless discovered ere now to theircost:—
ITis requested that those Ladies and Gentlemen who have, from time to time, borrowed books from Mr. S. Levy, will return them to the undersigned, who respectfully solicits all books now in possession of persons to whom they do not belong, to comply with the above—a fresh supply may be had. Among the number missing are the Pastor’s Fire Side, Tales of my Landlord, Kenilworth, Princess Charlotte, Secret Revenge, Smollett’s Works, Ivanhoe, Tales of the Times, Paradise Lost—so are the books until found byB. Levy.No. 72, George Street, Sydney.
ITis requested that those Ladies and Gentlemen who have, from time to time, borrowed books from Mr. S. Levy, will return them to the undersigned, who respectfully solicits all books now in possession of persons to whom they do not belong, to comply with the above—a fresh supply may be had. Among the number missing are the Pastor’s Fire Side, Tales of my Landlord, Kenilworth, Princess Charlotte, Secret Revenge, Smollett’s Works, Ivanhoe, Tales of the Times, Paradise Lost—so are the books until found byB. Levy.No. 72, George Street, Sydney.
The solicitation to the books themselves “to comply with the above,” is no doubt an Australian figure by which, in order to avoid an obnoxious accusation against the borrowers, the books are supposed to be unwilling to return to the rightful owners. Between forty and fifty years ago itwould have been very unpleasant in Australia to imply that any one had a desire to take that which belonged to any one else with a view to its permanent detention.
As we have said, the advertisements of more modern times call for no particular mention, and the papers published in New South Wales and Victoria—excellent journals, some of them capitally illustrated, and all equal to anything at home—contain nothing in their columns of a kind different from what has been already given under some one or other of the various chapter heads of this volume. In Canada the contiguity of the States is now and again apparent in the advertisements; but after the full-flavoured samples of the latter, anything from the Dominion would seem poor indeed.
[47]It is only fair to Americans in general, to state that the proprietor of this the most American of all American papers is an Englishman. At least, we are informed so by men who remember him in London.[48]Andrew Smith.[49]Any one the coat fits.[50]Hezekiah Goddard, Sheriff’s Deputy.
[47]It is only fair to Americans in general, to state that the proprietor of this the most American of all American papers is an Englishman. At least, we are informed so by men who remember him in London.
[48]Andrew Smith.
[49]Any one the coat fits.
[50]Hezekiah Goddard, Sheriff’s Deputy.
Duringthe progress of this book towards completion, we have now and again stumbled across something which would not consistently fit under any of the chapter heads in our plan, nor stand well by itself, and though at first rather puzzled what to do with these trifles, they have in the end accumulated sufficiently to form a chapter of varieties which will fitly conclude, and will doubtless prove neither dull nor uninteresting. In advertising there seems to be always something new springing up, and no sooner do we think we have discovered the last ingenious expedient of the man anxious to display his wares, or to tempt others to display theirs, than another and more novel plan for publicity arrests the attention, and makes its predecessor seem old-fashioned, if not obsolete. At the present moment the plan of an energetic Scotchman is the very latest thing in advertisements. Whether it will be considered a novelty six months hence, or whether it will be considered at all, it would be hard indeed to say, so it will perhaps be enough for us to give the plan to our readers, with the remark that after all the idea is not unlike that of the old newsletters to which reference has been made in an earlier portion of this work. The Scotchman’s notion is to substitute advertisements for the intelligence contained in the ancient letters, and thereby reap a rich reward. For sixpence he sells twenty-four sheets of letter-paper, on the outside of each of which is an embossed penny postage-stamp. He fills thetwo inside pages with sixty advertisements, for which he charges one guinea each, leaving the first page for private correspondence, and the last page, to which the stamp is affixed, for the address. As the stamp will carry an ounce weight, another sheet of plain paper may be enclosed. He guarantees to the advertiser a circulation of five thousand copies. For the advertisements he receives £63, from which he pays five thousand stamps at one penny each—£20, 16s. 8d.—less received for copies sold (twenty-four for sixpence), £5, 4s. 2d.; total, £15, 12s. 6d., leaving the difference, £47, 7s. 6d., to cover the cost of paper and printing. It will be remembered by many that the plan of giving advertisement sheets away has been often tried—notably with metropolitan local newspapers, some of which at first thought to clear the whole of their expenses by means of the charge for notices, &c. It is remarkable, however, that these journals invariably did one of two things. They either got a price fixed on themselves, or died. It is hard to make advertisers believe that it is worth while paying for a notice in a paper which is itself not worth paying for, and no arguments as to increased circulation seem to have any effect.
Parisian advertisements form an item worthy of attention here. Within the past few years a great change has taken place in the system of advertising as known in the capital of France—in fact, as known in all the chief towns of the empire, kingdom, republic—whichever our readers like best or consider the most correct word. Between twenty-five and thirty years ago advertisements were charged at very high rates in the Paris papers, and there were comparatively few of them. The proprietors of journals did not themselves deal with the advertisers, but farmed out their columns at so much a year to advertising establishments or agencies. This was both convenient for the papers and profitable for the agencies. The rates they fixed for advertising in some of the most prominent journals were—Presse, one franc per line for each insertion;Siècle, one franc fifty centimes per lineeach insertion for four times, for ten times and upwards one franc per line, special notices three francs per line, editorial items five francs per line;NationandDébats, four lines seventy-five centimes per line, advertisements above 150 lines fifty centimes per line, special notices two francs per line, editorial items three francs;Galignani’s Messenger, seventy-five centimes a line each time, one advertisement above 300 lines fifty centimes a line, editorial items three francs. Other papers were lower, some taking advertisements for from twenty-five to forty centimes, and charging from one franc to two francs a line for editorial items; but their circulation was very limited. What are called broadside advertisements were very frequent in Paris papers; they were very ugly affairs to the eye of an Englishman; set up in sprawling capitals, like a handbill, a single advertisement frequently covering half or the whole of a page of a newspaper. This style of advertisement obtains now, but under different principles. ThePresseand theSiècleused to make more money than any of the other papers by means of advertisements; in the year 1847 the income of thePressefor its two advertising pages was 300,000 francs. The advertising of theDébatsandConstitutionnelwas also profitable.
Things have very considerably changed since then, and Parisian advertising may fairly be said to have become developed into a flourishing, though at the same time a very unique, system. The remark, “Show me the advertisements of a country, and I will tell you the character of its inhabitants,” is not yet current among the choice sayings of great men, yet it or something similar might well be said with regard to modern Parisian notifications. Perhaps in no country so much as in France are public announcements and advertisements so thoroughly characteristic of a people. An important law recently introduced compels all announcements fixed or displayed in public places to bear each a ten-centime stamp, and the Government reserves to itselfthe right of alone using a perfectly whiteaffiche. All posters, playbills, and placards unconnected with State matters must be printed on coloured paper, though a small portion may remain white. The Parisians are proverbially neat in everything but their personal habits; and ugly, gaunt, straggling hoardings like those of London are quite unknown to them. The principal vacant places in front of building ground are usually purchased by one of the principal Sociétés de Publicité. A large frame of wood and canvas is affixed to the hoarding and divided into a number of squares, which are painted a neutral tint. Then in all these squares different announcements are made in gay colours. When completed, the structure resembles the boards of advertisements placed in railway carriages and omnibuses, the scale of course being considerably larger. A well-executed painting of some country seat or park to let frequently figures in these spaces; and few stations are without some well-known and familiar advertisement, the French having like ourselves some firms which make it their business to be on every hoarding and in every paper. A large tailoring and drapery establishment which advertises as follows is perhaps the best known ofany:—