Chapter 12

FEMALE COMPANION.ALADYof independent Fortune and liberal Sentiments would be glad if, in procuring to herself an agreeable Companion she could at the same time relieve from Distress, and perhaps prevent from utter Ruin, some still deserving although unfortunate fair one; for she can make allowance for the frailty of her own Sex, and knows the base arts of the other; in a word, asinglefaux paswill be no objection, provided there remain a virtuous Disposition, and that the person wanted be good-natured, affable, and sincere in the account she may give of herself, which for that purpose may at first be anonymous. She must also possess the usual accomplishments required by a good Education; know something of Music, have an agreeable Voice, and a genteel Person, not under twenty nor above the age of twenty-five years. Such as come within this description may apply by letter to B. D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the apparently most deserving will be enquired after. No kept Mistress or lady of Pleasure need apply.

FEMALE COMPANION.

ALADYof independent Fortune and liberal Sentiments would be glad if, in procuring to herself an agreeable Companion she could at the same time relieve from Distress, and perhaps prevent from utter Ruin, some still deserving although unfortunate fair one; for she can make allowance for the frailty of her own Sex, and knows the base arts of the other; in a word, asinglefaux paswill be no objection, provided there remain a virtuous Disposition, and that the person wanted be good-natured, affable, and sincere in the account she may give of herself, which for that purpose may at first be anonymous. She must also possess the usual accomplishments required by a good Education; know something of Music, have an agreeable Voice, and a genteel Person, not under twenty nor above the age of twenty-five years. Such as come within this description may apply by letter to B. D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the apparently most deserving will be enquired after. No kept Mistress or lady of Pleasure need apply.

There seems more of the procuress than the patron about this; still there is no knowing what the taste of an elderly single lady who fancied herself injured by the opposite sex would not lead her to do. So leaving the question open, and trusting the reader will be able to satisfy himself as to the purity or the reverse of the advertiser’s motives, we will pass on toLloyd’s Evening Post, in which, about the same time, we find the following, which is worthy ofnotice:—

MONEYwanted—when it can be procured—£100. No security can be given for thePrincipal, and possibly theInterestmay not be punctually paid. Under the above circumstances should any one be found willing to lend the desired Sum, he will muchsurprise, and particularlyobligethe author of this advertisement.—Direct for A. B. C. George’s Coffeehouse, Haymarket.

Even the “author” of this, confident and assured as he must be generally, seems to doubt the readiness of people to part with their money without some inducement, no matter how slight. If A. B. C. had offered something impossible of fulfilment in return for the desired loan, he would very likely have had many applications, whereas it would be hard to believe that in the present instance he had even one. Now, if he had adopted a plan similar to that which is advertised in theMorning Chronicleof April 9, 1776, he would have had a much better chance of raising the wind. This must have arrested the attention and diverted the current of pocket-money of many younglovers:—

AFFECTION.ANYLady or Gentleman who has made an honourable Connection, may be acquainted if the other party has a reciprocal Affection; and so nice is the method, that it gives in a great measure the degree of esteem. No fortune-telling, nor anything trifling in it, but is a serious and sincere Procedure. To divest any apprehension of discovery of parties, the initials of their names is sufficient. That the meaning of the advertiser may be ascertained, it is only asked for A. B. to know if C. D. has a genuine affection; and of C. D. if A. B. has the like. It is requested that honest Initials be sent, else the depositof two shillings and sixpence is useless. But to convince those that send for the intelligence of the use of this, they need only to send with the real, other Initials indifferent to them, and they will be satisfied. Absence or distance does not abate the certainty of the then present Esteem and Affection.Letters (free) directed to S. J., No. 11, Duke-street, Grosvenor Square, will have honest answers left there, or sent conformable to the address, in a day or two after their Receipt.

AFFECTION.

ANYLady or Gentleman who has made an honourable Connection, may be acquainted if the other party has a reciprocal Affection; and so nice is the method, that it gives in a great measure the degree of esteem. No fortune-telling, nor anything trifling in it, but is a serious and sincere Procedure. To divest any apprehension of discovery of parties, the initials of their names is sufficient. That the meaning of the advertiser may be ascertained, it is only asked for A. B. to know if C. D. has a genuine affection; and of C. D. if A. B. has the like. It is requested that honest Initials be sent, else the depositof two shillings and sixpence is useless. But to convince those that send for the intelligence of the use of this, they need only to send with the real, other Initials indifferent to them, and they will be satisfied. Absence or distance does not abate the certainty of the then present Esteem and Affection.

Letters (free) directed to S. J., No. 11, Duke-street, Grosvenor Square, will have honest answers left there, or sent conformable to the address, in a day or two after their Receipt.

The next advertisement we find in our collection savours less of affection, for the desire of the inserter seems to be to prevent some one to whom he has an objection inheriting entailed estates. It has its value, in addition to what consideration may be given to it as a specimen of the manners of the last century, as showing the kind of people who then made the laws. Decency must have made a decided advance, look at it from what point we will, since April 16, 1776, when this appeared in thePublic Advertiser:—

AGENTLEMANwho hath filled two succeeding seats in Parliament, is near sixty years of age, lives in great splendour and hospitality, and from whom a considerable Estate must pass if he dies without issue, hath no objection to marry any Widow or single Lady, provided the party be of genteel birth, polite manners, and five, six, seven, or eight Months gone in her Pregnancy.Letters directed to —— Brecknock, Esq., at Will’s Coffee House, facing the Admiralty, will be honoured with due attention, secrecy, and every possible mark of respect.

Letters directed to —— Brecknock, Esq., at Will’s Coffee House, facing the Admiralty, will be honoured with due attention, secrecy, and every possible mark of respect.

In theDaily Advertiserof July, in the same year, we find the following, which, though of a much more legitimate character than that just quoted, and directed to the interests of fair and honest trading, will repayperusal:—

TWOMen beg leave to acquaint the Public in general that they keep the cleanest Barber’s Shop in all London, where the people can have their Hair cut for 2d., dressed for 3d., and be shaved for 1d. One of these Men can bleed and draw teeth very well; he bleeds both in the English and German manner, as well at home as abroad, and is exceeding careful. Bleeding 3d., drawing teeth 4d. There is a parlourmade in the shop on purpose for bleeding and drawing teeth. The people may depend on being served immediately and well in every respect. No satisfaction, no pay. The above-mentioned Shop is at No. 7 King Street, Seven Dials.

Bleeding nowadays is still done by barbers, though not in the same way, nor so scientifically, as practised by the two clean shopkeepers of King Street. Shaving as a high art is neglected nowadays, a state of affairs traceable to the beard and moustache movement of the last twenty years, which has rendered shaving below the attention of true artists, who now give their attention to “cutting and curling,” &c. Any one who doubts this had better trust himself to the untender mercies of half-a-dozen different barbers, in ordinary thoroughfares, and where the prices are fixed at ordinary rates. Before he has tried the sixth establishment he will not only have conformed to our views, but will be a considerably altered, if not an improved, man. In theMorning Postof October 13, 1778, we come across an appeal to the short-sighted, which is worthy of the tribes of welchers who in our own times have made large fortunes through advertising in the columns of the sporting papers. This must have been something like the “discretionary investment” dodge, which brought in large sums to swindling firms who professed to govern the turf a few years back, and whose advertisements occupied whole columns in thenewspapers:—

A SeriousthoughSurprising Offer.FORthe compliment of One Hundred Guineas, any enterprizing Gentleman or Lady may have revealed to them an eligible method of converting hundreds into Thousands, in a few weeks, and of continuing so to do yearly. The requiring so inadequate a consideration, is because the proposer is under misfortunes. Only letters with real names and residencies will be regarded. Direct for W. W., at the King’s Bench Coffee-House.

A SeriousthoughSurprising Offer.

FORthe compliment of One Hundred Guineas, any enterprizing Gentleman or Lady may have revealed to them an eligible method of converting hundreds into Thousands, in a few weeks, and of continuing so to do yearly. The requiring so inadequate a consideration, is because the proposer is under misfortunes. Only letters with real names and residencies will be regarded. Direct for W. W., at the King’s Bench Coffee-House.

In the early part of 1778 (May 7) theMorning Postcontained the following appeal for an article which has beenscarce ever since the world began, which is not valued much when possessed, and which is about the last thing one could hope to obtain through the medium of an advertisement, no matter how cunningly contrived, nor how great the circulation of the paper in which itappeared:—

WANTEDimmediately, the most difficult thing to be met with in the world,A Sincere Friend, by a person, who, though in the meridian of life, has outlived all he had. He wishes to meet with a Person in whom he may repose the most implicit Confidence; a Person who has a good heart, and abilities to second that goodness of heart; who will give his advice cordially, and assistance readily. The advertiser is a person in a genteel situation of life; has a decent income, but is at present so circumstanced as to want a sincere friend.—Any Person willing (from principles of Friendship, not Curiosity) to reply to the above, by directing a line to T. S., at Mr Sharp’s, stationer, facing Somerset House, Strand, will be immediately waited on or properly replied to.

Money, the sincerest of all friends, is probably the object of T. S.’s ambition. If he was not suited in the year ’78, an opportunity occurred soon after; for specially directed to the cupidity of persons who desire to get money, and are not at all particular what the means so long as the end is attained, is the following, which appears in theMorning Postof March1779:—

AGENTLEMANof Fortune, whom Family reasons oblige to drop a connection which has for some time subsisted between him and an agreeable young Lady, will give a considerable sum of Money with her to any Gentleman, or person in genteel Business, who has good sense and resolution to despise the censures of the World, and will enter with her into the Holy state of Matrimony. Letters addressed to Mr G. H., at the Cecil Street Coffee-House, will be paid due attention to.

As this kind of arrangement has not yet fallen into desuetude, although the aid of advertisements is no longer invoked for it, we had better not give an opinion about its morality, though it is but fair to admit that if the system of selling soiled goods, of which the foregoing is an example,had but been out of date, we should have been loud in our objections. For no vice is so bad as one that has exploded, and the weaknesses which we can regard with complacency while they are current, cause strong emotions of disgust when, their day being over, we look back upon them, and wonder how people could have been so extremely wicked. About the same time, and in the same paper, is another application of a peculiar nature, though in this instance the advertiser wishes not to part with, but to obtain a similar commodity to that advertised by G. H. This isit:—

ASINGLEGentleman of Fortune, who lives in a genteel private style, is desirous of meeting with an agreeable genteel young Lady, of from 20 to 30 years of age, not older, to superintend and take upon her the management of his House and Servants, for which she will be complimented with board, &c. As the situation will be quite genteel, it will not suit any but such who has had a liberal Education, and who has some independance of her own, so as to enable her always to appear very genteel, and as a relation or particular friend, in which character she will always be esteemed, and have every respect paid her, so as to render the situation and every thing else as agreeable as possible.Any lady inclining to the above, will please to direct with name and address, to M. H., Esq., to be left at No. 7, the Bookseller’s, in Great Newport Street, near St Martin’s Lane; she will be waited on, or wrote to, but with the greatest delicacy, and every degree of strict honour and secrecy.

Any lady inclining to the above, will please to direct with name and address, to M. H., Esq., to be left at No. 7, the Bookseller’s, in Great Newport Street, near St Martin’s Lane; she will be waited on, or wrote to, but with the greatest delicacy, and every degree of strict honour and secrecy.

Strict honour and secrecy seems to be an essential to the successful completion of the designs of many advertisers of this time, but they are to be all on one side, in company with an amount of blind credulity which would be wonderful if it were not repeatedly exhibited in modern days. Here is an honourable and secret venture which appears in theMorning Postof December 17, 1779, and which was doubtless verysuccessful:—

AGENTLEMANwho knows a Method which reduces it almost to a certainty to obtain a very considerable sum, by insuring of Numbers in the Lottery, is advised by his Friends to offer to communicateit to those who wish to speculate in that Way. The advantage that is procured by proceeding according to his Principles and Directions, will be plainly demonstrated and made perfectly evident to any who chuses to be informed of it. The terms are Ten Guineas each person, and they must engage not to discover the plan for the space of eighteen months. If those who are willing to agree to the above terms will be pleased to address a line to J. R. C. at the Union Coffee-House, Cornhill, or the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, they will be immediately informed where to apply. Those who have lost money already (by laying it out improperly) insuring of Numbers, may soon be convinced how much it will be to their advantage to apply as above.N.B.—This advertisement will be inserted in this morning’s Paper only.

N.B.—This advertisement will be inserted in this morning’s Paper only.

A suspicious person would have fancied that the friends of J. R. C., unless they were dissimilar from other friends, would have used the information for their own benefit—but generous and self-abnegating people do turn up in history in the most unexpected and unaccountable ways. Another specimen of the secret and honourable kind, though in it the secrecy and honour have to be on the side of the advertiser, follows. It is in theMorning Post, April 18, 1780, and runsthus:—

ANYLady whose Situation may require a Temporary Retirement, may be accommodated agreeable to her wishes in the house of a Gentleman of eminence in the Profession, where honour and secrecy may be depended on, and where every vestige of Pregnancy is obliterated; or any Lady who wishes to become Pregnant may have the causes of sterility removed in the safest manner. Letters (Post-paid) addressed to A. B. No. 23, Fleet Street, will be attended to.

A. B. offers a double convenience, the second item in which is well worthy of note. The house must have been somewhat similar, except that the accommodation was for human beings, to those establishments advertisements in connection with which frequently appear in the sporting and agricultural papers. Much about the same date as the specimen just quoted appears another of quite a different kind, inserted in several journals. It is rather unique as a wayof reminding customers that life is short and debt is long, and is suspiciouslysartorial:—

To whom it may Concern.RICHARDGuy returns thanks to all his good old Friends for their kind Recommendation, which he will always acknowledge with gratitude, by being ready to oblige them on all occasions, but earnestly desires to settle Accounts, to pay and to be paid; which he hopes will be of satisfaction to both parties; for as it is fully observed, short Reckonings keep long Friends; so to preserve good friendship and prevent disputes in Accompts, he always pays ready Money, that is doing as he would be done unto.N.B.—He courts neither Honour nor Riches, his whole and sole motive being to serve his good old Friends; the sin of Ingratitude he utterly abhors.

To whom it may Concern.

RICHARDGuy returns thanks to all his good old Friends for their kind Recommendation, which he will always acknowledge with gratitude, by being ready to oblige them on all occasions, but earnestly desires to settle Accounts, to pay and to be paid; which he hopes will be of satisfaction to both parties; for as it is fully observed, short Reckonings keep long Friends; so to preserve good friendship and prevent disputes in Accompts, he always pays ready Money, that is doing as he would be done unto.

N.B.—He courts neither Honour nor Riches, his whole and sole motive being to serve his good old Friends; the sin of Ingratitude he utterly abhors.

The shameless manner in which sinecures in Government offices were bought and sold even so late as 1781 is shown by the following specimen advertisement, which is taken from theMorning Heraldof September22:—

AGENTLEMANof Character who wishes for some Employ under Government merely for the sake of Amusement, would be willing to advance any Nobleman or Gentleman the sum of Three Thousand Pounds, upon Mortgage, upon legal Interest, provided the Mortgager will, thro’ his Interest, procure a place in any genteel Department, where the emoluments are not less than two or three hundred Poundsper annum. The Advertiser flatters himself this will not be deemed an ineligible Offer, if compared with the present mode of raising Money upon Annuities; as a gentleman must be obliged to grant five hundredper annumout of his income to raise the like Sum. If any Gentleman who may be inclined to answer this Advertisement does not know of any Vacancy, the Advertiser will point out several, which may be easily procured by interest. A line addressed to S. X. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, St Paul’s, will be attended to. Secrecy may be depended on. No Broker will be treated with.

Those were happy times, indeed, when no such vulgar thing as merit was allowed to interfere with a man’s upward progress in life, provided he possessed capital, which could always secure him good interest in more ways than one.Money was at full value then, and the following, from theMorning Postof October 18, 1781, is one among many endeavours to obtain it in larger or smallerquantities:—

WANTEDimmediately, or as soon as can be met with, that invaluable acquisition (when once gained) ASincereFriend, by a person who in the early part of his life had many; but who, from the all-powerful hand of Death and other fortuitous incidents, has been deprived of all those whom he could once call by that sacred Name, and to whom he could apply either for Counsel or Assistance. The author of this Advertisement is a Middle-aged man, in a genteel situation of Life, a Housekeeper, has a decent Income, but yet, is so circumstanced as to have a particular occasion forFifty or SixtyPounds, for a Year and a half or thereabouts. He wishes therefore to meet with a Person of liberal and generous Sentiments, who would assist him with the above trifling Sum. He flatters himself he can make the mode of payment quite agreeable to any Gentleman, Lady, or Tradesman of credit, who may be induced to answer this advertisement from a motive arising from the secret satisfaction there is in rendering a Service.—A line directed for S. E., and left at the Morning Post Office, will be immediately attended to.

In 1785 was established theDaily Universal Register, a paper which was, under a new title, adopted in 1788, to develop into the greatest and most powerful organ in the world. On the 1st of January, in the last-named year, theRegisterappeared with the following heading:The Times, or Daily Universal Register, printed Logographically. The price was threepence, and for many years theTimesgave no promise of future greatness; but it was always fearless, and very early was fined, while its editor narrowly escaped imprisonment. In 1790 Mr Walter was actually incarcerated in Newgate, where he remained sixteen months, besides being fined £200, for a libel on the Dukes of York and Clarence. He was released eventually at the intercession of the Prince of Wales. The history of theTimeshas been told so often that particulars are hardly needed here; but as showing how its present eminence is due to nothing but perseverance and integrity, as well as the everpresentdesire to be first wherever possible, we quote the following from a short notice of the life of one of its proprietors: “It was under John Walter II., born in 1784, that theTimesrose to the place of the first newspaper in the world. Whilst yet a youth, in 1803 he became joint proprietor and sole manager of theTimes, and very soon his hand became manifest in the vigour and independence of its politics, and the freshness of its news. Free speech, however, had its penalties. TheTimesdenounced the malpractices of Lord Melville, and the Government revenged itself by withdrawing from the Walters the office of printers to the Customs, which had been held by the family for eighteen years. During the war between Napoleon and Austria in 1805, the desire for news was intense. To thwart theTimesthe packets for Walter were stopped at the outports, while those for the ministerial journals were hurried to London. Complaint was made, and the reply was given that the editor might receive his foreign papers as afavour; meaning thereby that if the Government was gracious to theTimes, theTimesshould be gracious to the Government; but Walter would accept no favour on such terms. Thrown on his own resources, he contrived, by means of superior activity and stratagem, to surpass the ministry in early intelligence of events. The capitulation of Flushing in August 1809, was announced by theTimestwo days before the news had arrived through any other channel. In the editorship of the paper he spared neither pains nor expense. The best writers were employed, and wherever a correspondent or a reporter displayed marked ability, he was carefully looked after and his faculty utilised. Correspondents were posted in every great city in the world, and well-qualified reporters were despatched to every scene of public interest. The debates in Parliament, law proceedings, public meetings, and commercial affairs, were all reported with a fulness and accuracy which filled readers with wonder. What a visionary could scarcely dare to ask, theTimesgave. To other journals imitation alone was left. They might be more consistent politicians, but in the staple of a newspaper, to be nearly as good as theTimeswas their highest praise.”

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