Chapter 29

At the Old Theatre, in East Grinstead, on Saturday, May, 1758, will be represented (by particular desire, and for the benefit of Mrs. P.) the deep and affecting tragedy of“THEODOSIUS, OR THE FORCE OF LOVE,”with magnificent scenes, dresses, &c.Varanes by Mr. P., who will strive, as far as possible, to support the character of the fiery Persian Prince, in which he was so much admired and applauded at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Midworth, Lewes, &c.Theodosius by a young Gentleman from the University of Oxford, who never appeared on any Stage.Athenais by Mrs. P. Though her present Condition will not permit her to wait on Gentlemen and Ladies out of the town with Tickets, she hopes, as on former Occasions, for their Liberality and Support.Nothing in Italy can exceed the Altar, in the first scene of the Play; nevertheless should any of the Nobility or Gentry wish to see it ornamented with Flowers, the Bearer will bring away as many as they choose to favour him with.As the coronation of Athenais, to be introduced in the fifth Act, contains a number of Personages, more than sufficient to fill all the dressing Rooms, &c., it is hoped no Gentlemen and Ladies will be offended being refused admission behind the Scenes.N.B. The great yard Dog, that made so much noise on Thursday night, during the last Act of King Richard the Third, will be sent to a Neighbour’s over the way; and on account of the prodigious demand for places, part of the Stable will be laid into the Boxes on one side, and the Granary be open for the same purpose on the other.Vivat Rex.

At the Old Theatre, in East Grinstead, on Saturday, May, 1758, will be represented (by particular desire, and for the benefit of Mrs. P.) the deep and affecting tragedy of

“THEODOSIUS, OR THE FORCE OF LOVE,”

with magnificent scenes, dresses, &c.

Varanes by Mr. P., who will strive, as far as possible, to support the character of the fiery Persian Prince, in which he was so much admired and applauded at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Midworth, Lewes, &c.

Theodosius by a young Gentleman from the University of Oxford, who never appeared on any Stage.

Athenais by Mrs. P. Though her present Condition will not permit her to wait on Gentlemen and Ladies out of the town with Tickets, she hopes, as on former Occasions, for their Liberality and Support.

Nothing in Italy can exceed the Altar, in the first scene of the Play; nevertheless should any of the Nobility or Gentry wish to see it ornamented with Flowers, the Bearer will bring away as many as they choose to favour him with.

As the coronation of Athenais, to be introduced in the fifth Act, contains a number of Personages, more than sufficient to fill all the dressing Rooms, &c., it is hoped no Gentlemen and Ladies will be offended being refused admission behind the Scenes.

N.B. The great yard Dog, that made so much noise on Thursday night, during the last Act of King Richard the Third, will be sent to a Neighbour’s over the way; and on account of the prodigious demand for places, part of the Stable will be laid into the Boxes on one side, and the Granary be open for the same purpose on the other.

Vivat Rex.

Those who are curious in the matter of playbills in all languages will perhaps accept the annexed as a compromise, and as the nearest thing in a general way we can manage in the space at command. Those also who are good at riddles may like to try their skill onit:—

NOTICE.SAturday30 and on Sunday 31 of the corrent, in the Royal Theatre of St. Charles will be represented by the Italian Company the famous Holy Drama intitledIL TRIONFO DI GIUDITTAO SIALA MORTE D’ OLOFERNE.In the interval of the first to the second act it shall have a new and pompous Ball of the composition of John Baptista Gianini, who has by title:IL SACRIFICIO D’ ABRAMOin which will enter all the excellent corp of Ball, who dance at present in the said Royal Theatre; the spetacle will be finished with the second act and Ball analog to the same Drama, all with the nessessary decoration.This is who is offered to the Respectable Publick of whom is waited all the proctetion and concurrence:It will begin at 8 o’clok.Na officina de Simāo Thaddeo Ferreira. 1811. Com licenca.

NOTICE.

SAturday30 and on Sunday 31 of the corrent, in the Royal Theatre of St. Charles will be represented by the Italian Company the famous Holy Drama intitled

IL TRIONFO DI GIUDITTAO SIALA MORTE D’ OLOFERNE.

In the interval of the first to the second act it shall have a new and pompous Ball of the composition of John Baptista Gianini, who has by title:

IL SACRIFICIO D’ ABRAMO

in which will enter all the excellent corp of Ball, who dance at present in the said Royal Theatre; the spetacle will be finished with the second act and Ball analog to the same Drama, all with the nessessary decoration.

This is who is offered to the Respectable Publick of whom is waited all the proctetion and concurrence:

It will begin at 8 o’clok.

Na officina de Simāo Thaddeo Ferreira. 1811. Com licenca.

We next append a bill of the far-famed Richardson’s Theatre under date 1825—one of those distributed during the Bartlemy Fair of that year. Hone describes the theatre thus: “The outside of this show was in height upwards of thirty feet, and occupied one hundred feet in width. The platform on the outside was very elevated; the back of it was lined with green baize, and festooned with deeply-fringed crimson curtains, except at two places, where the money-takers sat, which were wide and roomy projections, fitted up like Gothic shrine-work, with columns and pinnacles. There were fifteen hundred variegated illumination-lamps disposed over various parts of the platform, some of them depending from the top in the shape of chandeliers and lustres, and others in wreaths and festoons.A band of ten performers in scarlet dresses, similar to those worn by beefeaters, continually played on clarionets, violins, trombones, and the long drum; while the performers paraded in their gayest ‘properties’ before the gazing multitude. Audiences rapidly ascended on each performance being over, and paying their money to the receivers in their Gothic seats, had tickets in return; which being taken at the doors, admitted them to descend into the ‘theatre.’” The bill is asfollows:—

***Change of Performance each Day.RICHARDSON’STHEATRE.This Day will be performed, an entire New Melo-Drama, called theWANDERINGOUTLAW,Or, the Hour of Retribution.Gustavus, Elector of SaxonyMr. Wright.Orsina, Baron of HolsteinMr. Cooper.Ulric and Albert, Vassals to OrsinaMessrs. Grove and Moore.St. Clair, the Wandering OutlawMr. Smith.Rinalda, the Accusing SpiritMr. Darling.Monks, Vassals, Hunters, &c.Rosabella, Wife to the OutlawMrs. Smith.Nuns and Ladies.The Piece concludes with theDeathofOrsina, and the Appearanceof theACCUSING SPIRIT.The Entertainments to conclude with a New Comic Harlequinade,with New Scenery, Tricks, Dresses, and Decorations, calledHARLEQUINFAUSTUS!OR, THEDEVIL WILL HAVE HIS OWN.Luciferno, Mr.Thomas.Dæmon Amozor, afterwards Pantaloon, Mr.Wilkinson.—Dæmon Ziokos, afterwards Clown, Mr.Hayward.—Violoncello Player, Mr.Hartem.—Baker, Mr.Thompson.—Landlord, Mr.Wilkins—Fisherman, Mr.Rae.—Dr. Faustus, afterwards Harlequin, Mr.Salter.Adelada, afterwards Columbine,MissWilmot.Attendant Dæmons, Sprites, Fairies, Ballad Singers, FlowerGirls, &c. &c.The Pantomime will finish withA SPLENDID PANORAMAPainted by the First Artists.BOXES, 2s.PIT, 1s.GALLERY, 6d.

***Change of Performance each Day.

RICHARDSON’STHEATRE.

This Day will be performed, an entire New Melo-Drama, called theWANDERINGOUTLAW,Or, the Hour of Retribution.

The Piece concludes with theDeathofOrsina, and the Appearanceof theACCUSING SPIRIT.

The Entertainments to conclude with a New Comic Harlequinade,with New Scenery, Tricks, Dresses, and Decorations, calledHARLEQUINFAUSTUS!OR, THEDEVIL WILL HAVE HIS OWN.Luciferno, Mr.Thomas.

Dæmon Amozor, afterwards Pantaloon, Mr.Wilkinson.—Dæmon Ziokos, afterwards Clown, Mr.Hayward.—Violoncello Player, Mr.Hartem.—Baker, Mr.Thompson.—Landlord, Mr.Wilkins—Fisherman, Mr.Rae.—Dr. Faustus, afterwards Harlequin, Mr.Salter.

Adelada, afterwards Columbine,MissWilmot.Attendant Dæmons, Sprites, Fairies, Ballad Singers, FlowerGirls, &c. &c.

The Pantomime will finish withA SPLENDID PANORAMAPainted by the First Artists.

BOXES, 2s.PIT, 1s.GALLERY, 6d.

Of show advertisements of a different kind, we have preserved one or two notable specimens. The first is of the time of William and Mary, and gives itself in two languages, though, unlike the opera bill given a page or so back, it keeps themseparate:—

A Raritie in Nature.Surpassing all Prodigies and strange Births that ever were seen, more admired by the Learned than any sort of Creature that ever was brought toEngland,whose Body is of different Colours, part white, part brown and smooth, part Hairy like a Satyr, with admirable unusual growings out, that no reason can be given for. This Maid is about 16 years of age, of a comely Countenance, proportionable Body, hath an excellent head of Hair, speaketh good English, is Ingenious and Modest. Any particular Company may see her at any hour of the day inBell Savage YardonLudgate Hill, London.God save theKing.Vne Raretée en la Nature, viz.Une Fille tres Admirable, elle est belle, agée de seize ans, son visage, Col, mameles, Bras & Mains, sont de Coleur Blanche, merques de beaucoup taches naturelles, les jambs, & pieds toutes de mesmes, le rest du Corps est de divers Coleurs, avec des Excrescenes fort estranges on n’a jamais veue une telle. L’on la voit en toutes heures du jour dansBell-savage-yardonLudgate Hill, London.Vivat Rex.

A Raritie in Nature.

Surpassing all Prodigies and strange Births that ever were seen, more admired by the Learned than any sort of Creature that ever was brought toEngland,whose Body is of different Colours, part white, part brown and smooth, part Hairy like a Satyr, with admirable unusual growings out, that no reason can be given for. This Maid is about 16 years of age, of a comely Countenance, proportionable Body, hath an excellent head of Hair, speaketh good English, is Ingenious and Modest. Any particular Company may see her at any hour of the day inBell Savage YardonLudgate Hill, London.

God save theKing.

Vne Raretée en la Nature, viz.Une Fille tres Admirable, elle est belle, agée de seize ans, son visage, Col, mameles, Bras & Mains, sont de Coleur Blanche, merques de beaucoup taches naturelles, les jambs, & pieds toutes de mesmes, le rest du Corps est de divers Coleurs, avec des Excrescenes fort estranges on n’a jamais veue une telle. L’on la voit en toutes heures du jour dansBell-savage-yardonLudgate Hill, London.Vivat Rex.

Vne Raretée en la Nature, viz.

Une Fille tres Admirable, elle est belle, agée de seize ans, son visage, Col, mameles, Bras & Mains, sont de Coleur Blanche, merques de beaucoup taches naturelles, les jambs, & pieds toutes de mesmes, le rest du Corps est de divers Coleurs, avec des Excrescenes fort estranges on n’a jamais veue une telle. L’on la voit en toutes heures du jour dansBell-savage-yardonLudgate Hill, London.

Vivat Rex.

It is noticeable that the showman uses the common Latinform of “Vivat Rex” under his French, and adopts an English equivalent in his other column. About twenty years ago a similar creature was shown in London, and those who had her in charge vamped up most marvellous stories to account for thelusus naturæ, both decency and probability being outraged in the attempt to excite a “sensation.” The next bill is, though of the show series, of a totally different character, and refers to one of the exhibitions of the famous Figg, the swordsman and pugilist. It is now the fashion to decry such adventures as that advertised; but it is hard to believe that both Figg and Sutton were not far more respectable characters than many who practise the licensed and misnamed sport of modern times. For ourselves, we could have looked at such free agents as the rapier and backsword men, or even the more degraded pugilists, doing their best and their worst on each other, rather than sit out an aristocratic pigeon match, assist at a battue, or be party to the coursing of trapped hares and rabbits.

G.R.coat of armsAt Mr. FIGG’s New Amphitheatre.Joyning to his House, the Sign of the City ofOxford, inOxford Road, Marybone Fields, onWednesdaynext, being the8thofJune, 1726.Will be Perform’d a Tryal of Skill by the followingMasters.WHereasIEDWARD SUTTON, Pipemaker fromGravesend, andKentishProfessor of the Noble Science of Defence, having, under a Sleeveless Pretence been deny’d a Combat by and with the Extoll’d Mr. FIGG; which I take to be occasioned through fear of his having that Glory Eclipsed by me, wherewith the Eyes of all Spectators have been so much dazzled: Therefore, to make appear, that the Great Applause which has so much puff’d up this Hero, has proceededonly from his Foyling such who are not worthy the name of Swordsmen, as also that he may be without any farther Excuse; I do hereby dare the said Mr. FIGG to meet as above, and dispute with me the Superiority of Judgment in the Sword (which will best appear by Cuts,&c.) at all the Weapons he is or shall be then Capable of Performing on the Stage.IJAMESFIGG,OxonianProfessor of the said Science, will not fail giving this daringKentishChampion an Opportunity to make good his Allegations; when, it is to be hop’d, if he finds himself Foyl’d he will then change his Tone, and not think himself one of the Number who are not worthy the Name of Swordsmen, as he is pleased to signifie by his Expression: However, as the most significant Way of deciding these Controversies is by Action, I shall defer what I have farther to Act till the Time above specified; when I shall take care not to deviate from my usual Custom, in making all such Bravadoes sensible of their Error, as also in giving all Spectators intire Satisfaction.N.B.The Doors will be open’d at Four, and the Masters mount between Six and Seven exactly.VIVAT REX.

G.R.

coat of arms

At Mr. FIGG’s New Amphitheatre.

Joyning to his House, the Sign of the City ofOxford, inOxford Road, Marybone Fields, onWednesdaynext, being the8thofJune, 1726.Will be Perform’d a Tryal of Skill by the followingMasters.

WHereasIEDWARD SUTTON, Pipemaker fromGravesend, andKentishProfessor of the Noble Science of Defence, having, under a Sleeveless Pretence been deny’d a Combat by and with the Extoll’d Mr. FIGG; which I take to be occasioned through fear of his having that Glory Eclipsed by me, wherewith the Eyes of all Spectators have been so much dazzled: Therefore, to make appear, that the Great Applause which has so much puff’d up this Hero, has proceededonly from his Foyling such who are not worthy the name of Swordsmen, as also that he may be without any farther Excuse; I do hereby dare the said Mr. FIGG to meet as above, and dispute with me the Superiority of Judgment in the Sword (which will best appear by Cuts,&c.) at all the Weapons he is or shall be then Capable of Performing on the Stage.

IJAMESFIGG,OxonianProfessor of the said Science, will not fail giving this daringKentishChampion an Opportunity to make good his Allegations; when, it is to be hop’d, if he finds himself Foyl’d he will then change his Tone, and not think himself one of the Number who are not worthy the Name of Swordsmen, as he is pleased to signifie by his Expression: However, as the most significant Way of deciding these Controversies is by Action, I shall defer what I have farther to Act till the Time above specified; when I shall take care not to deviate from my usual Custom, in making all such Bravadoes sensible of their Error, as also in giving all Spectators intire Satisfaction.

N.B.The Doors will be open’d at Four, and the Masters mount between Six and Seven exactly.VIVAT REX.

Sutton does not seem to have made much but hard knocks by his desire to uphold the honour of pipemakers and Kentish men, for Figg is generally characterised as retiring undefeated, and Captain Godfrey, the great amateur of his day, makes reference to the defeat of Sutton in his “Treatise upon the Useful Science of Defence” (1747). Speaking of the Oxford professor, he says: “Fig was the atlas of the sword, and may he remain the gladiating statue! In him, strength, resolution, and unparalleled judgment conspired to form a matchless master. There was a majesty shone in his countenance, and blazed in all his actions, beyond all I ever saw. His right leg bold and firm, and his left, which could hardly ever be disturbed, gave him the surprising advantage already proved, and struck his adversary with despair and panic. He had that peculiar way of stepping in I spoke of in a parry; he knew his arm and its just time of moving, put a firm faith in that, and never let his adversary escape his parry. He was just as much a greater master than any other I ever saw, as he was agreater judge of time and measure.” Of Sutton the enthusiastic captain tells us that “he was a resolute, pushing, awkward swordsman; but by his busy intruding arm, and scrambling legs, there were few judgments but what were disordered and disconcerted. Fig managed him the best of any by his charming distinction of time and measure, in which he far excelled all, and sufficiently proved these two be the sword’s true foundation.” Figg was also a great bruiser, and was regarded as the champion of the boxers as well as the master of the swordsmen. He was a genial good-tempered fellow, and was the boon companion of many eminent authors and artists of his time.

So much for show and play bills, and the celebrities to whom they have introduced us. We will now turn to handbill and poster advertisements of various descriptions. Tickets and bills containing the information that apartments were to be let were set up over doors at least as early as 1665. In the “Pillulæ Pestilentialis” of the Rev. Richard Hingston, preacher, of St James’s, Clerkenwell, there is the following in reference to the Plague and the practice justmentioned:—

No Papers then o’er our Doors were setWith “Chambers ready furnished to be Let,”But a sad “Lord have Mercy upon us” andA bloody Cross as fatal Marks did stand.

At the end of a pamphlet, printed in 1673, entitled “An Essay to revive the Ancient Education of Gentlewomen, in Religion, Manners, and Tongues,” there is a postscript, containing an advertisement of a boarding school at Tottenham High Cross. This establishment was under the management of Mrs Makin, who had been tutoress to the Princess Elizabeth, daughter of Charles I., and who put forth part of her prospectus in the followingmanner:—

Here by the blessing of God, Gentlewomen may be instructed in the principles of Religion, and in all manner of sober and virtuous Education:more especially in all Things ordinarily taught in Schools for the other Sex; as inWorks of all sorts,Dancing,Music,Singing,Writing,Keeping Accounts.Half the Time is to be spent in these Things, and the other half to be employed in gaining the Latin and French Tongues, and those that please may learn Greek and Hebrew, the Italian and Spanish; in all which this Gentlewoman hath a competent knowledge.Gentlewomen of eight or nine Years old, that can read well, may be instructed in a Year or two (according to their Parts) in the Latin and French Tongues, by plain and short Rules accommodated to the English Tongue.Those that will bestow a longer Time may learn the other Languages before mentioned, if they please.Repositories also for Visibles shall be prepared, by which from beholding the things, Gentlewomen may learn the Names, Natures, Values, and Uses of Herbs, Shrubs, Trees, mineral Juices, Metals and Stones.Those that please may learn Limning, Preserving, Pastry, and Cookery, etc.The rate shall be certain £20 per Annum; but if a competent improvement be made in the Tongues, and the other Things before mentioned, as shall be agreed upon them, something more will be expected. But the Parents shall judge what shall be deserved by the Undertaker.

Works of all sorts,Dancing,Music,Singing,Writing,Keeping Accounts.

Half the Time is to be spent in these Things, and the other half to be employed in gaining the Latin and French Tongues, and those that please may learn Greek and Hebrew, the Italian and Spanish; in all which this Gentlewoman hath a competent knowledge.

Gentlewomen of eight or nine Years old, that can read well, may be instructed in a Year or two (according to their Parts) in the Latin and French Tongues, by plain and short Rules accommodated to the English Tongue.

Those that will bestow a longer Time may learn the other Languages before mentioned, if they please.

Repositories also for Visibles shall be prepared, by which from beholding the things, Gentlewomen may learn the Names, Natures, Values, and Uses of Herbs, Shrubs, Trees, mineral Juices, Metals and Stones.

Those that please may learn Limning, Preserving, Pastry, and Cookery, etc.

The rate shall be certain £20 per Annum; but if a competent improvement be made in the Tongues, and the other Things before mentioned, as shall be agreed upon them, something more will be expected. But the Parents shall judge what shall be deserved by the Undertaker.

Sterne, who knew as much about struggles and adversity as most people, used to tell this story about his young days: “I happened to be acquainted with a young man from Yorkshire, who rented a window in one of the paved alleys near Cornhill, for the sale of stationery. I hired one of the panes of glass from my friend, and stuck up the following advertisement withwafers:—

Epigrams, Anagrams, Paragrams, Chronograms, Monograms, Epitaphs, Epithalamiums, Prologues, Epilogues, Madrigals, Interludes, Advertisements, Letters, Petitions, Memorials, on every occasion, Essays on every subject, Pamphlets for and against Ministers, Sermons upon any Text or for any Sect, to be written here, on reasonable terms, byA. B. Philologer.

A. B. Philologer.

“The uncommonness of the titles occasioned numerous applications, and at night I used privately to glide into the office to digest the notes or heads of the day, and receive the earnest which was directed always to be left with the memorandums, the writing to be paid for on delivery, according to the subject.” Yorick speedily became disgusted with this employment, however, and as soon as he possibly could retired from it.

Another of the triumphs which have unfortunately not come down to the present generation, and which many will consider to be hardly compensated for by gas, steam, and electricity, the postal service and the police system, is that of Mr Nunn, whose bill, published to the world in the latter portion of the eighteenth century, runsthus:—

Breeches Making improved by Geometry.Thomas Nunn, Breeches-Maker, No. 29, Wigmore Street, Cavendish Square, has invented a System on a mathematical Principle, by which Difficulties are solved, and Errors corrected; its usefulness for Ease and Neatness in fitting is incomparable, and is the only perfect Rule for that Work ever discovered. Several hundreds (Noblemen, Gentlemen, and Others) who have had Proof of its Utility, allow it to excel all they ever made Trial of.N.B.An approved Method is adopted for keeping them clean without discommoding by Dust.

Breeches Making improved by Geometry.

Thomas Nunn, Breeches-Maker, No. 29, Wigmore Street, Cavendish Square, has invented a System on a mathematical Principle, by which Difficulties are solved, and Errors corrected; its usefulness for Ease and Neatness in fitting is incomparable, and is the only perfect Rule for that Work ever discovered. Several hundreds (Noblemen, Gentlemen, and Others) who have had Proof of its Utility, allow it to excel all they ever made Trial of.

N.B.An approved Method is adopted for keeping them clean without discommoding by Dust.

In some future day, when personal comfort again becomes one of the fine arts, one of the chief tests for a wranglership may be the making of mathematical breeches. If the age is very material, perhaps the approved method of cleaning them may stand in stead of classics, which are already going much out of fashion. Our next specimen comes from the Emerald Isle, and though short is well marked with both of the most prominent characteristics of the natives. It was given away and posted up in various parts of Dublin at the end of July1781:—

This is to certify that I, Daniel O’Flannaghan, am not the Person that was tarred and feathered by the Liberty Mob, on Tuesday last; and I am ready to give 20 Guineas to any one that will lay me 50, that I am the other Man who goes by my Name.Witness my Hand, this 30th July.Daniel O’Flannaghan.

Witness my Hand, this 30th July.Daniel O’Flannaghan.

A man who can afford to lay seventy guineas to thirty that he is himself, and nobody else, deserves credit for his boldness, if not for his ingenuity. Another bill from Ireland, of a few years later on, next claims our attention. It refers to a house to let in Coleraine, and is a specimen of quite another kind of Hibernianhumour:—

To be LetTo anOppidan, aRuricolist, or aCosmopolitan, and may be entered upon immediately.The House inStone Row, lately possessed by Capt. Siree. To avoid verbosity the proprietor with compendiosity will give a perfunctory description of the premises, in the compagination of which he has sedulously studied the convenience of the occupant—it is free from opacity, tenebrosity, fumidity, and injucundity, and no building can have greater pellucidity or translucency—in short, its diaphaneity even in the crepuscule makes it like a pharos, and without laud, for its agglutimation and amenity, it is a most delectable commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the neighbours have none of the truculence, the immanity, the torvity, the spinosity, the putidness, the pugnacity, nor the fugacity observable in other parts of the town; their propinquity and consanguinity occasions jucundity and pudicity—from which, and the redolence of the place (even in the dog days) they are remarkable for longevity. For terms and particulars apply toJames Hutchison, opposite theMarket House.Coleraine, 30th September, 1790.

To be LetTo anOppidan, aRuricolist, or aCosmopolitan, and may be entered upon immediately.

The House inStone Row, lately possessed by Capt. Siree. To avoid verbosity the proprietor with compendiosity will give a perfunctory description of the premises, in the compagination of which he has sedulously studied the convenience of the occupant—it is free from opacity, tenebrosity, fumidity, and injucundity, and no building can have greater pellucidity or translucency—in short, its diaphaneity even in the crepuscule makes it like a pharos, and without laud, for its agglutimation and amenity, it is a most delectable commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the neighbours have none of the truculence, the immanity, the torvity, the spinosity, the putidness, the pugnacity, nor the fugacity observable in other parts of the town; their propinquity and consanguinity occasions jucundity and pudicity—from which, and the redolence of the place (even in the dog days) they are remarkable for longevity. For terms and particulars apply toJames Hutchison, opposite theMarket House.

Coleraine, 30th September, 1790.

We commend this to that rather numerous class of people who like words with plenty of sound, and regard sense as quite a secondary consideration. Dogberry would have been delighted with it, and the writer could have commanded his own price as a contributor to certain newspapers, or as a sporting tipster. We have already given our readers an advertising tombstone, which was a swindle, inasmuch as it was placed up to the memory of a person who never existed. We now give another, which is really what it pretends to be—an improvement of the opportunity to combine business, not with pleasure, but with mourning. It stood, we are told, in a burial-ground belonging to one of our old ivy-clad churches in the North, and was an elegantly-carved memorial stone, the inscriptionbeing:—

Sacred to the MemoryofJOHN ROBERTS,Stonemason and Tombcutter,Who died on Saturday, October the 8th, 1800.N.B.—The business carried on by the Widow at No. 1, Freshfield place.

tombstone

HERE LYESJEREMY JOBBINSAn Affectionate husbandANDA TENDER PARENTHIS·DISCONSOLATE·WIDOWIN·THE·HOPE·OF·A·BETTER·MEATINGCONTINUES TOCARRY ONTHE LONG ESTABLISHEDTRIPEANDTROTTERBUSINESSAT·THE·SAME·PLACEASBEFORE HER LAMENTEDBEREAVEMENTREADER·PAUSE·&·NOTICE THE·ADDRESS

HERE LYESJEREMY JOBBINSAn Affectionate husbandANDA TENDER PARENT

HIS·DISCONSOLATE·WIDOWIN·THE·HOPE·OF·A·BETTER·MEATINGCONTINUES TOCARRY ONTHE LONG ESTABLISHEDTRIPEANDTROTTERBUSINESSAT·THE·SAME·PLACEASBEFORE HER LAMENTEDBEREAVEMENT

READER·PAUSE·&·NOTICE THE·ADDRESS

Perhaps her being in the “tombstone line” may be an excuse for the widow Roberts. We don’t suppose she needed one, however, for any one who would do what she did would be quite callous as to the world’s opinions. Of the two we much prefer the Frenchman who erected the stone to an entirely supposititious person, to the widow who traded on her husband’s grave. This reminds us that we have received, among many communications, one containing the above sketch of an advertising tombstone, which thewriter, who dates from a well-known town in the north, Gateshead, states positively stood in a neighbouring churchyard within his recollection. The address, he says, was on the footstone. We give the illustration “without prejudice.” Do tripe and trotters after all produce a prosaic condition of the human mind suggested by this tombstone, or would the relict of Jeremy have done as she did had her wares been of a different kind? In the interests of the edibles referred to, for which we must confess a weakness, we trust she would. But who shall say?

At the time of the marriage of George the Third’s eldest daughter to the Duke of Wurtemburg, a curious little handbill was given away about London. It was printed on both sides, and looked like a tract. Its contents were to the followingeffect:—

Fragmentof aChapterconcerning the curiousMangleof BEETHAMappointed to be read by all theLadiesandLaundressesof the land of Albion.By His Majesty’s special command.CHAP. I.1 Beetham’s fame and diligence. 3 his marvellous mill. 6 he constructs a mangle which surprises the World. 8 The Princesses visit his museum and praise the curious Machinery. 16 He is mimiced by others. 18 The King grants his royal patent to the Artist. 22 Beetham is recompensed by the nobles and the people.NOWit came to pass, even towards the close of the eighteenth century, that there lived in the great city which is called London a certain man of the name of Beetham who had many curious inventions.2 The same mechanic while the world waged war againstAlbioncultivated with all diligence the arts of Peace in the ways of wisdom.3 When therefore he saw that his washing mill pleased the people and was daily employed by all throughout the regions of Britain and her colonies.4 Behold he also constructed another machine more marvellous than the first which is called aMangleeven to this day. 5 Neither adheredhe to the old gothic plan of his predecessors but formed it new and surprising in simplicity so that a little maiden could set it in motion.6 And it came to pass when a great company of ladies and laundresses beheld the infant turn the wheel with wonderful ease and moreover saw the wheel move backwards as well as the way of the wheel whose revolution was always the same and also saw it move as by self instinct.7 That they cried aloud with one voice saying, great and marvellous is theMangleofBeetham.8 And in process of time, the princesses and the nobles accompanied a certain great prince who came from a far country to carry away a royal beauty, even the eldest daughter of the King.9 And behold as they passed on their way to view the wonders of the great temple ofPaul, one of the damsels lifted up her azure eyes and beheld the Museum ofBeethamfronting the temple ofDunstan.10 At that instant the child was turning the wonderfulMillwhich laved the fine linen clean and white in the twinkling of an eye;11 Also another child by its feeble arm was moving the newly inventedMangle.12 And lo, one of the nobles cried, wherefore should we pass on further into the city, let us step aside and see this miracle.13 Now it came to pass that the company alighted from their gilded chariots and went into theMuseum, and marvelled much at the curious machines.14 And when they saw theMilland theMangle, theWringeralso, and the machine for theChurningofMilk, which evenSolomonwith all his wisdom never invented.15 They all with one accord commanded the master of the Museum to prepare for thePrincessone of each of these curious machines; to the end she might spread the fame of the inventor all over the land, in which she was soon to be a sojourner.16 ¶ Now—theMimic Machinistsof those days by their enchantments strove to surpassBeetham, but failed by falling into the greatchaosof complication:17 So that, like the builders of Babel they were confounded; crying aloud, surely all machination against Beetham must fail, neither can we imitate the simplicity of his Mangle.18 And word was carried to the King in those days, even concerning the new invention of the artist of London.19 Which prevailed upon him when he also heard of the utility of theManglein tender kindness to all the laundresses of the land to cause his Royal signet to be set on a certain parchment called a patent.20 So that until twice seven seasons should pass no man should imitate the machine but by the consent ofBeethamthe Proprietor thereof.21 And when the King had so done, lo there was prepared many machines of various sizes in order that the high and the low, the rich and the poor, might use the same throughout the land, but Beetham was the vender of them all.22 And for those which the Princess and the Lords and Ladies of the Land did cause to be sent to them which were made of Oak whose duration shall far exceed the years of the generations of the sons of men and which were for smoothing all the linen of the Households of the mighty nobles, Beetham received certain pieces of money which being counted in the coin of Albion amounted to Ten guineas.23 And for such as were made of the wood called Beech he received nine pieces of gold and for others eight pieces of the like coin, but for less than eight pieces Beetham sent not theMangleforth among the inhabitants of the land.24 And behold all the people rejoiced extremely and the fame of the Mangle was spread abroad among all the isles of Britain even to the remotest part thereof; and the ships of the sea were laden with the same machines to the Colonies abroad, and in all those parts of the Earth where Economy is an object, where Convenience is desirable, and where Cleanliness is esteemed next to Godliness.Mr. BEETHAM’sNEW PATENT PORTABLE WASHING MILLISso universally used and Economical, that it deserves the serious attention of the Public in general.1 It renders the linen whiter and cleaner than it can be made by any other method.2 It will wash more in one hour than ten women can in the same time.3 It is so saving, that for Five Shillings it will wash as much as will cost One Guinea in the common mode.4 The price of the Mill is very soon cleared by what it saves in soap, coals, manual labour and the preservation of the linen.This invaluable invention may be seen from Eleven until Two every day.A Mill large enough to wash 8 shirts 4l. 4s. 14, 4l. 14s. 6d. 18, 5l. 5s. 24, 6l. 6s.One to first and second, 10l. 10s. Wringer, 1l. 1s.

Fragmentof aChapterconcerning the curiousMangleof BEETHAMappointed to be read by all theLadiesandLaundressesof the land of Albion.

By His Majesty’s special command.

CHAP. I.

1 Beetham’s fame and diligence. 3 his marvellous mill. 6 he constructs a mangle which surprises the World. 8 The Princesses visit his museum and praise the curious Machinery. 16 He is mimiced by others. 18 The King grants his royal patent to the Artist. 22 Beetham is recompensed by the nobles and the people.

NOWit came to pass, even towards the close of the eighteenth century, that there lived in the great city which is called London a certain man of the name of Beetham who had many curious inventions.

2 The same mechanic while the world waged war againstAlbioncultivated with all diligence the arts of Peace in the ways of wisdom.

3 When therefore he saw that his washing mill pleased the people and was daily employed by all throughout the regions of Britain and her colonies.

4 Behold he also constructed another machine more marvellous than the first which is called aMangleeven to this day. 5 Neither adheredhe to the old gothic plan of his predecessors but formed it new and surprising in simplicity so that a little maiden could set it in motion.

6 And it came to pass when a great company of ladies and laundresses beheld the infant turn the wheel with wonderful ease and moreover saw the wheel move backwards as well as the way of the wheel whose revolution was always the same and also saw it move as by self instinct.

7 That they cried aloud with one voice saying, great and marvellous is theMangleofBeetham.

8 And in process of time, the princesses and the nobles accompanied a certain great prince who came from a far country to carry away a royal beauty, even the eldest daughter of the King.

9 And behold as they passed on their way to view the wonders of the great temple ofPaul, one of the damsels lifted up her azure eyes and beheld the Museum ofBeethamfronting the temple ofDunstan.

10 At that instant the child was turning the wonderfulMillwhich laved the fine linen clean and white in the twinkling of an eye;

11 Also another child by its feeble arm was moving the newly inventedMangle.

12 And lo, one of the nobles cried, wherefore should we pass on further into the city, let us step aside and see this miracle.

13 Now it came to pass that the company alighted from their gilded chariots and went into theMuseum, and marvelled much at the curious machines.

14 And when they saw theMilland theMangle, theWringeralso, and the machine for theChurningofMilk, which evenSolomonwith all his wisdom never invented.

15 They all with one accord commanded the master of the Museum to prepare for thePrincessone of each of these curious machines; to the end she might spread the fame of the inventor all over the land, in which she was soon to be a sojourner.

16 ¶ Now—theMimic Machinistsof those days by their enchantments strove to surpassBeetham, but failed by falling into the greatchaosof complication:

17 So that, like the builders of Babel they were confounded; crying aloud, surely all machination against Beetham must fail, neither can we imitate the simplicity of his Mangle.

18 And word was carried to the King in those days, even concerning the new invention of the artist of London.

19 Which prevailed upon him when he also heard of the utility of theManglein tender kindness to all the laundresses of the land to cause his Royal signet to be set on a certain parchment called a patent.

20 So that until twice seven seasons should pass no man should imitate the machine but by the consent ofBeethamthe Proprietor thereof.

21 And when the King had so done, lo there was prepared many machines of various sizes in order that the high and the low, the rich and the poor, might use the same throughout the land, but Beetham was the vender of them all.

22 And for those which the Princess and the Lords and Ladies of the Land did cause to be sent to them which were made of Oak whose duration shall far exceed the years of the generations of the sons of men and which were for smoothing all the linen of the Households of the mighty nobles, Beetham received certain pieces of money which being counted in the coin of Albion amounted to Ten guineas.

23 And for such as were made of the wood called Beech he received nine pieces of gold and for others eight pieces of the like coin, but for less than eight pieces Beetham sent not theMangleforth among the inhabitants of the land.

24 And behold all the people rejoiced extremely and the fame of the Mangle was spread abroad among all the isles of Britain even to the remotest part thereof; and the ships of the sea were laden with the same machines to the Colonies abroad, and in all those parts of the Earth where Economy is an object, where Convenience is desirable, and where Cleanliness is esteemed next to Godliness.

Mr. BEETHAM’sNEW PATENT PORTABLE WASHING MILL

ISso universally used and Economical, that it deserves the serious attention of the Public in general.

1 It renders the linen whiter and cleaner than it can be made by any other method.

2 It will wash more in one hour than ten women can in the same time.

3 It is so saving, that for Five Shillings it will wash as much as will cost One Guinea in the common mode.

4 The price of the Mill is very soon cleared by what it saves in soap, coals, manual labour and the preservation of the linen.

This invaluable invention may be seen from Eleven until Two every day.

A Mill large enough to wash 8 shirts 4l. 4s. 14, 4l. 14s. 6d. 18, 5l. 5s. 24, 6l. 6s.

One to first and second, 10l. 10s. Wringer, 1l. 1s.

This Beetham was the grandfather, on her mother’s side, of Miss Reed, the celebrated old lady of Stamford Street, whose houses were for many years in a notoriously dismantledand dilapidated condition, and who not very long since left a hundred thousand pounds to the Brompton Hospital. Her mother was a pupil of Opie’s, and before she married Mr Reed, a solicitor, some of her pictures were exhibited as those of her master. She late in life became eccentric, but not to such an extent as her daughter, whose name was at one time almost a household word. Another tradesman of the City, who was well known for his devotion to the art of advertising, early in the present century put forth this, which is rather magniloquent, considering the subject which forms itsbasis:—

MAYthe Wings of Extravagancebe clipped by the Scissars of Economy—was the constant toast of a person who knew very well the value of a sixpence. To all good economists would Romanis wish to be recommended, though but a bad practitioner himself, (he is a little like the clergy—“Don’t do as I do, but as I tell you to do.”) When you want real good Stockings at a low price, come to the Sign of the Regent, 33 in Cheapside—there you have them in perfection, and I am certain sixpence in a pair is worth saving; and any one that is possest of the least spark of parsimony will give their assent. Frugality is certainly a good thing—it enables a people to pay taxes—to pay their armies—to thrash the French—to make peace on good terms—to extend commerce—to make people live long and comfortable:FOR STOCKINGSRomanis against the whole World, at his Mart, 33 Cheapside.

FOR STOCKINGS

Romanis against the whole World, at his Mart, 33 Cheapside.

From small beginnings great events arise—only see what benefit to the nation as well as to private individuals accrued from the purchase of cheap stockings. Romanis has never been mentioned in conjunction with Wellington, yet he seems to have had a good deal to do towards building up the victory of Waterloo, and ought to have been remembered, say as much as Blucher, who has been immortalised in the way of boots while the stocking-seller has been clean forgotten.

Another curious advertiser was William Hall of Lynn, who flourished early in the present century. According to Hone, Hall was a celebrated antiquarian bookseller, andreceived the alias of Will Will-be-So. He was also an auctioneer, and on the market-day he would knock down his lots in great style, and with many whimsical remarks. He had a craze for verse, and in such as follows all his advertisements werewritten:—

Lynn, 19thSeptember, 1810.First Tuesday in the next October,Now do not doubt but we’ll be sober!If Providence permits us action,You may depend uponAN AUCTION,At the stallThat’s occupied by WILLIAM HALL.To enumerate a task would be—The best way is to come and see;But not to come too vague an errand,We’ll give a sketch which we will warrant.Aboutone hundred books, in due lots,And pretty near the same inshoe-lasts;Coats,waistcoats,breeches, shiningbuttons,Perhaps ten thousandleather cuttings,Sold at per pound—your lot but ask it,Shall be weighed to you in a basket;Some lot oftoolsto make a try on,About one hundred-weight ofiron;Scales,earthenware,arm-chairs, atea-urn,Tea-chests, aherring-tub, and so on;With various more that’s our intention,Which are too tedious here to mention.N.B.—To undeceive, ’fore you come nigher,The duty charged upon the buyer;And, should we find we’re not perplext,We’ll keep it up the Tuesday next.

Lynn, 19thSeptember, 1810.

First Tuesday in the next October,Now do not doubt but we’ll be sober!If Providence permits us action,You may depend uponAN AUCTION,At the stallThat’s occupied by WILLIAM HALL.To enumerate a task would be—The best way is to come and see;But not to come too vague an errand,We’ll give a sketch which we will warrant.Aboutone hundred books, in due lots,And pretty near the same inshoe-lasts;Coats,waistcoats,breeches, shiningbuttons,Perhaps ten thousandleather cuttings,Sold at per pound—your lot but ask it,Shall be weighed to you in a basket;Some lot oftoolsto make a try on,About one hundred-weight ofiron;Scales,earthenware,arm-chairs, atea-urn,Tea-chests, aherring-tub, and so on;With various more that’s our intention,Which are too tedious here to mention.N.B.—To undeceive, ’fore you come nigher,The duty charged upon the buyer;And, should we find we’re not perplext,We’ll keep it up the Tuesday next.

First Tuesday in the next October,Now do not doubt but we’ll be sober!If Providence permits us action,You may depend uponAN AUCTION,At the stallThat’s occupied by WILLIAM HALL.

To enumerate a task would be—The best way is to come and see;But not to come too vague an errand,We’ll give a sketch which we will warrant.Aboutone hundred books, in due lots,And pretty near the same inshoe-lasts;Coats,waistcoats,breeches, shiningbuttons,Perhaps ten thousandleather cuttings,Sold at per pound—your lot but ask it,Shall be weighed to you in a basket;Some lot oftoolsto make a try on,About one hundred-weight ofiron;Scales,earthenware,arm-chairs, atea-urn,Tea-chests, aherring-tub, and so on;With various more that’s our intention,Which are too tedious here to mention.N.B.—To undeceive, ’fore you come nigher,The duty charged upon the buyer;And, should we find we’re not perplext,We’ll keep it up the Tuesday next.

We have two more specimens of the English peculiar to Continentalists, the first being of about the same period as Hall’s verse. It is an exact copy of a card circulated by the landlord of an hotel atGhent:—

Mr. Dewitt, in the Golden Apple, out of the Bruges Gate at Ghent, has the honour to prevent the Persons who would come at his house,that they shall find there always good and spacious Lodgings, a Table served at their taste, Wine of any quality, etc. Besides he hires Horses and Chaises, which shall be of a great conveniency for the Travellers; the Bark of Bruges depart and arrives every day before his door. He dares flatter himself, that they shall be satisfied, as well with the cheapness of the price, as with the cares such an establishment requires.

This and the next, which was given to the world in 1822, may cause English people who fancy they have the most correct knowledge of French, as well as the true Parisian accent, to be a little cautious in their belief, for there is no doubt that the authors of both notices were very strong on their powers of “spiking the English,” as many French announcements haveit:—

M. MARLOTEAU et Cie.Manufacturers from Paris,37, MONTMORENCY-STREET,To London 14 Broad Street, Oxford street.Acquaint the Trade in general, that they have just established inLondon.A Warhouse for FRENCH FLOWERS, for each Season, feathar from hat ladies of their own Manufacture elegant fans of the NEWEST TASTE.And of Manufactures ofParis, complette sets ornaments for balls, snuff boxes scale gold and silver, boxes toilette, ribbons and embroidered, hat et cap, from Ladies of the newest Taste, China, all sorts, etc.He commit generally the articles from Paris, Manufacturers.And send in all BRITISH CITY.Attandance from Nine o’Clock in the Morning till five in the Afternoon.

M. MARLOTEAU et Cie.Manufacturers from Paris,37, MONTMORENCY-STREET,To London 14 Broad Street, Oxford street.

Acquaint the Trade in general, that they have just established inLondon.

A Warhouse for FRENCH FLOWERS, for each Season, feathar from hat ladies of their own Manufacture elegant fans of the NEWEST TASTE.

And of Manufactures ofParis, complette sets ornaments for balls, snuff boxes scale gold and silver, boxes toilette, ribbons and embroidered, hat et cap, from Ladies of the newest Taste, China, all sorts, etc.

He commit generally the articles from Paris, Manufacturers.And send in all BRITISH CITY.Attandance from Nine o’Clock in the Morning till five in the Afternoon.

Before and during the year 1825 a man used to stand at the corner of Fleet Market, and deliver handbills in the interest of a society which had for its object the genteel and comfortable interment of its members. One of theseadvertisements has been preserved, and a copy of it is appended. Its commencement is curious, and must at times have somewhat disconcerted incautious readers, who in the midst of their business cares or pleasure pursuits suddenly had the notice of death thrust upon them. Sir Thomas Browne, who professed to know all about mortality, says that “man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave.” Whoever drew up the handbill was certainly aware of the craving which exists in many minds, especially among the lower orders, for a good funeral, and made abundant provision for it. Really atædium vitæalmost creeps over one upon reading it. Who would not be willing to die, in death to be attended as is promised? Two rows all round of close-drove best black japanned nails feelingly invite and almost irresistibly persuade us to come and be screwed down. What aching head can resist the temptation to repose presented by the handsome crape shroud, the cap, and pillow? What sting is there in death which handles with wrought gripes are not calculated to pluck away? What victory in the grave which the drops and the velvet pall do not render at least extremely disputable? And, above all, a pretty emblematic plate, with the angel above and the flower beneath, is utterly irresistible. But we in our rhapsody had forgotten to copy thebill:—

BURIAL SOCIETY.A favourable opportunity now offers to any person, of either sex, who would wish to be buried in a genteel manner, by paying one shilling entrance, and twopence per week for the benefit of the stock. Members to be free in six months. The money to be paid at Mr. Middleton’s at the sign of “the First and Last,” Stonecutter Street, Fleet Market. The deceased to be furnished as follows: a strong elm coffin, covered with superfine black, and finished with two rows, all round, close drove, best black japanned nails, and adorned with ornamental drops, a handsome plate of inscription, angel above, and flower beneath, and four pair of handsome handles, with wrought gripes; the coffin to be well pitched, lined, and ruffled with fine crape; a handsome crape shroud, cap, and pillow. For use, a handsome velvet pall, three gentlemen’s cloaks, three crape hatbands, three hoods and scarfs, and six pair of gloves; two porters equipped to attend the funeral, a man to attend the same with band and gloves; also the burial fees paid, if not exceeding one guinea.

BURIAL SOCIETY.

A favourable opportunity now offers to any person, of either sex, who would wish to be buried in a genteel manner, by paying one shilling entrance, and twopence per week for the benefit of the stock. Members to be free in six months. The money to be paid at Mr. Middleton’s at the sign of “the First and Last,” Stonecutter Street, Fleet Market. The deceased to be furnished as follows: a strong elm coffin, covered with superfine black, and finished with two rows, all round, close drove, best black japanned nails, and adorned with ornamental drops, a handsome plate of inscription, angel above, and flower beneath, and four pair of handsome handles, with wrought gripes; the coffin to be well pitched, lined, and ruffled with fine crape; a handsome crape shroud, cap, and pillow. For use, a handsome velvet pall, three gentlemen’s cloaks, three crape hatbands, three hoods and scarfs, and six pair of gloves; two porters equipped to attend the funeral, a man to attend the same with band and gloves; also the burial fees paid, if not exceeding one guinea.

The notice further informed the public, that though the society had only been established a very few years, upwards of eleven hundred persons had put down their names. It is worthy of remark that so many people of the industrious classes should have clubbed their twopences to avoid what they considered the disgrace of a parish funeral, and should doubtless have rejoiced when their six months had expired, and they stood face to face with the handsome velvet pall and etceteras. The very poor are to this day very particular about their funerals, and many a savoury morsel is the living body deprived of that the lifeless one may go comfortably to its last home. A labouring man’s greatest pride often is that he gave wife, parent, or child a good funeral; and this feeling is perfectly independent of the wake peculiarities and festivities that obtain among a certain section of the lower orders. Readers must be warned against an idea which they may be apt to form about the place whence these proposals issued. From the sign of the “First and Last,” they might conclude that Mr Middleton was a publican who, in assembling a club of the above description at his house, had a view to his own interest altogether foreign to the purpose for which the society was instituted. Mr Middleton was no publican, though he hung out a sign, but an honest undertaker, who also dealt in wicker ware, and who, by the exhibition of both cradle and coffin as a device, attracted attention to which the motto “First and Last” contributed in no small measure.

The following humorous handbill was about 1825 given away by a publican in the neighbourhood of the Strand. It is certainly a gem in its way, and shows an originality which was more likely to have been possessed by one of the needy and seedy customers hanging about in the vicinityof the theatres fifty years back, than by the well-fed, well-clad, and probably bumptious “bung,” who ought to have made the writer free of his various entertainments during the long “run” they doubtless obtained if the performance was in any way as good as theprogramme:—

Licensed by Act of Parliament.And under the immediate Patronage of the Public.Theatre of Epicurean Varietyat theKING OF PRUSSIAWych Street.W. Trampton has the honor of informing his friends and the public that his compact comfortable snug andcoseylittle Theatre is now open for the Winter Season; where from the well known excellence of the company engaged he trusts to meet with a share of that encouragement it will be his endeavour to merit and his pride to acknowledge.A peculiar advantage attending this Theatre will no doubt be justly appreciated by the public, namely that tickets of admission may be had for the separate branches of the entertainment, the price of which together with the hours of performance are specified in the followingbill:—During the Week the following Entertainments will be presented.A favourite Burletta in One Act, calledSOMETHING LIKE BREAKFAST.The chief characters by the celebrated foreign performers,SigniorsTeaCoffeeSugaretc.Price of admission 10d.Hours from 8 to 10 A.M.After which, a Bagatelle, or Interlude in One Act, calledIF YOU LIKE IT, LUNCH IT.The characters byMessrsCheschireGloucesterCrustKidneyRarebitetc.And other well known Performers who will be found ever ready atthe call of the Public.At the Hour of three P.M. a Grand Melodrama in two Acts calledHOW SHALL I DINE?The chief Character on Monday by the celebrated old Roscius of the Epicurean Stage,Roast Beef.The other Characters by the celebratedMurphysetc., assisted bytheLittle Picklesetc.Guards, MessrsCayenneetc.Scenery by MessrsDiaper and Assistants.Dresses byMrs Cook.Music (ajointcomposition ofHandelandStick) by MessrsKnife and Fork.Price of Admission One Shilling.The principal Character in the above-mentioned Piece will be sustained by different Actors of celebrity during the week, viz.TuesdayBoiled Mutton, WednesdayRoast or Boiled Pork, ThursdayVeal and Bacon, FridayBoiled Beef, SaturdayRoast Mutton.At EightP.M.every evening the well known eccentric Pat Murphy (in company with his friend Pat Butter) will have the honour of making his appearance in his much admired hot-jacket of brown.Theatre closed every Evening at half past Eleven.N.B. A stout and venerable white-headed Porter from the office of Messrs Goodwyn & Co. will attend the Theatre for the purpose of keeping good order during the performance.The whole got up under the immediate care ofStage ManagerW. Trampton.

Licensed by Act of Parliament.And under the immediate Patronage of the Public.Theatre of Epicurean Varietyat theKING OF PRUSSIAWych Street.

W. Trampton has the honor of informing his friends and the public that his compact comfortable snug andcoseylittle Theatre is now open for the Winter Season; where from the well known excellence of the company engaged he trusts to meet with a share of that encouragement it will be his endeavour to merit and his pride to acknowledge.

A peculiar advantage attending this Theatre will no doubt be justly appreciated by the public, namely that tickets of admission may be had for the separate branches of the entertainment, the price of which together with the hours of performance are specified in the followingbill:—

During the Week the following Entertainments will be presented.A favourite Burletta in One Act, calledSOMETHING LIKE BREAKFAST.The chief characters by the celebrated foreign performers,SigniorsTeaCoffeeSugaretc.Price of admission 10d.Hours from 8 to 10 A.M.After which, a Bagatelle, or Interlude in One Act, calledIF YOU LIKE IT, LUNCH IT.

And other well known Performers who will be found ever ready atthe call of the Public.

At the Hour of three P.M. a Grand Melodrama in two Acts called

HOW SHALL I DINE?

The chief Character on Monday by the celebrated old Roscius of the Epicurean Stage,

Roast Beef.

The other Characters by the celebratedMurphysetc., assisted bytheLittle Picklesetc.

Guards, MessrsCayenneetc.Scenery by MessrsDiaper and Assistants.Dresses byMrs Cook.

Music (ajointcomposition ofHandelandStick) by MessrsKnife and Fork.

Price of Admission One Shilling.

The principal Character in the above-mentioned Piece will be sustained by different Actors of celebrity during the week, viz.

TuesdayBoiled Mutton, WednesdayRoast or Boiled Pork, ThursdayVeal and Bacon, FridayBoiled Beef, SaturdayRoast Mutton.

At EightP.M.every evening the well known eccentric Pat Murphy (in company with his friend Pat Butter) will have the honour of making his appearance in his much admired hot-jacket of brown.

Theatre closed every Evening at half past Eleven.

N.B. A stout and venerable white-headed Porter from the office of Messrs Goodwyn & Co. will attend the Theatre for the purpose of keeping good order during the performance.

The whole got up under the immediate care ofStage ManagerW. Trampton.

Between forty and fifty years ago there was an amusing contest going on between two tradespeople in the City: both were hairdressers, and lived opposite each other. Seeing that the one throve by selling pomade made of bear’s grease, the other, knowing that it was just as good and more profitable to sell any other material in pots with “bear’s grease” on the label, started in opposition, using similar pots to those sold by his opponent, filled with an inexpensive unguent. The first dealer, who was known to keep bears in his cellar, and who had himself taken up once a week before the sitting alderman as a nuisance, by way of advertisement, killed a bear upon this, and hung him up whole in full sight in his shop. He also wrote in the window, “A fresh bear killed this day!” The other, who had but one bear in all the world, which he privately led out of his house after dark every night, and brought him back in the morning (to seem like a new supply going on), continued his sale, and announced in his window, “Ourfresh bear will be killed to-morrow.” The original vendor then, determined to cut off his rival’s last shift, kept his actual bears, defunct, with the skins only half off, like calves at a butcher’s, hanging up always at his door, proclaimed that “all bear’s grease sold in pots was a vile imposture,” and desired his customers to walk in “and see theirs with their own eyes, cut and weighed from the animal.” This seemed conclusive for two days; but on the third, the cunning opposition was again to the fore, with a placard “founded on the opinion of nine doctors of physic,” which stated that bear’s grease “obtained from the animal in a tamed or domesticated state, will not make anybody’s hair grow at all.” In consequence of which, he went on to say, “he has formed an establishment in Russia (where all the best bears come from), for catching them wild, cutting the fat off immediately, and potting it down for London consumption.” And the rogue actually ruined the business of his antagonist, without going to the expense of killing a single bear, by writing all over his house, “Licensed by the Imperial Government—Here, and at Archangel.”

George Robins, the auctioneer, was a profound believer in the value of advertisements, and exercised all his ingenuity and ability, both of which were considerable, to devise fresh schemes for attracting public notice. His powers of producing a good bill were remarkable, as was also his facility of description. Robins’s style has been so often commented upon, and his work so often copied and burlesqued, that it is hardly worth while our touching upon either him or his bills. As, however, such a book as this would be hardly complete without a reference to the puffing genius of modern days, we select a portion—and only a portion, mind—of his description of the Colosseum in Regent’s Park, one of the greatest failures of speculative enthusiasts known, which, despite Robins and his panegyric, and despite the strenuous efforts which have been made to cultivate an unwilling populace into believing in it as aplace of amusement, is now being demolished to make way for a set of dwelling-houses planned upon the site on which was reared the building described by the poetically-fancied auctioneer as, among many other things, a

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