The Project Gutenberg eBook ofA Satire AnthologyThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: A Satire AnthologyCompiler: Carolyn WellsRelease date: December 4, 2014 [eBook #47528]Most recently updated: October 24, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SATIRE ANTHOLOGY ***
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
Title: A Satire AnthologyCompiler: Carolyn WellsRelease date: December 4, 2014 [eBook #47528]Most recently updated: October 24, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)
Title: A Satire Anthology
Compiler: Carolyn Wells
Compiler: Carolyn Wells
Release date: December 4, 2014 [eBook #47528]Most recently updated: October 24, 2024
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SATIRE ANTHOLOGY ***
“SATIRE should, like a polished razor keen,Wound with a touch that’s scarcely felt or seen.”—LADY MARY WORTLEY MONTAGU.
“SATIRE should, like a polished razor keen,Wound with a touch that’s scarcely felt or seen.”—LADY MARY WORTLEY MONTAGU.
“SATIRE should, like a polished razor keen,Wound with a touch that’s scarcely felt or seen.”—LADY MARY WORTLEY MONTAGU.
“SATIRE should, like a polished razor keen,
Wound with a touch that’s scarcely felt or seen.”
—LADY MARY WORTLEY MONTAGU.
Title page
ASatireAnthology
Collected byCarolyn WellsNew YorkCharles Scribner’s Sons1905
Copyright, 1905, byCHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS—————Published, October, 1905
TOMINNIE HARPER PILLING
Acknowledgmentis hereby gratefully made to the publishers of the various poems included in this compilation.
Those by Oliver Wendell Holmes, James Russell Lowell, John G. Saxe, Edward Rowland Sill, John Hay, Bayard Taylor and Edith Thomas are published by permission of Messrs. Houghton, Mifflin & Co.
The poems by Anthony Deane and Owen Seaman are used by arrangement with John Lane.
Through the courtesy of Small, Maynard & Co., are included poems by Bliss Carman, Charlotte Perkins Stetson-Gilman, Stephen Crane, and Frederic Ridgely Torrence.
Poems by Sam Walter Foss are published by permission of Lothrop, Lee & Shepherd Co.
The Century Co. are the publishers of poems by Richard Watson Gilder and Mary Mapes Dodge.
Frederich A. Stokes Company give permission for poems by Gelett Burgess and Stephen Crane.
“The Buntling Ball,” by Edgar Fawcett is published by permission of Funk and Wagnalls Company; “Hoch der Kaiser” by Rodney Blake, by the courtesy of the New Amsterdam Book Co. The poems by James Jeffrey Roche by permission of E. H. Bacon & Co.; and “The Font in the Forest” by Herman Knickerbocker Vielé, by permission of Brentano’s.
“The Evolution of a Name,” by Charles Battell Loomis, is quoted from “Just Rhymes,” Copyright, 1899, by R. H. Russell.
“He and She,” by Eugene Fitch Ware, is published by permission of G. P. Putnam’s Sons.
PageChorus of WomenAristophanes3A Would-Be Literary BoreHorace4The Wish for Length of LifeJuvenal6The Ass’s LegacyRuteboeuf7A Ballade of Old-Time Ladies (Translated by John Payne).François Villon11A Carman’s Account of a LawsuitSir David Lyndsay12The Soul’s ErrandSir Walter Raleigh13Of a Certain ManSir John Harrington16A Precise TailorSir John Harrington16The WillJohn Donne18From “King Henry IV”William Shakespeare20From “Love’s Labour’s Lost”William Shakespeare21From “As You Like It”William Shakespeare22Horace Concocting An OdeThomas Dekker23On Don SurlyBen Jonson24The Scholar and His DogJohn Marston25The Manly HeartGeorge Wither26The Constant LoverSir John Suckling27The RemonstranceSir John Suckling28Saintship versus ConscienceSamuel Butler29Description of HollandSamuel Butler30The Religion of HudibrasSamuel Butler31Satire on the ScotsJohn Cleiveland32SongRichard Lovelace34The Character of HollandAndrew Marvell35The Duke of BuckinghamJohn Dryden37On ShadwellJohn Dryden38Satire on Edward HowardCharles Sackville, Earl of Dorset39St. Anthony’s Sermon to the FishesAbraham á Sancta Clara39Introduction to the True-Born EnglishmanDaniel Defoe41An EpitaphMatthew Prior43The Remedy Worse than the DiseaseMatthew Prior45Twelve ArticlesJonathan Swift46The Furniture of a Woman’s MindJonathan Swift48From “The Love of Fame”Edward Young50Dr. Delany’s VillaThomas Sheridan52The QuidnunckisJohn Gay54The Sick Man and the AngelJohn Gay55Sandys’ GhostAlexander Pope57From “The Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot”Alexander Pope60The Three Black CrowsJohn Byrom63An EpitaphGeorge John Cayley64An Epistle to Sir Robert WalpoleHenry Fielding65The Public BreakfastChristopher Anstey67An Elegy on the Death of a Mad DogOliver Goldsmith72On SmollettCharles Churchill73The Uncertain ManWilliam Cowper74A Faithful Picture of Ordinary SocietyWilliam Cowper74On JohnsonJohn Wolcott(Peter Pindar)75To BoswellJohn Wolcott(Peter Pindar)76The HenMatt. Claudius77Let Us All be Unhappy TogetherCharles Dibdin78The Friar of Orders GrayJohn O’Keefe79The Country SquireTomas Yriarte80The EggsTomas Yriarte82The Literary LadyRichard Brinsley Sheridan84Sly LawyersGeorge Crabbe85ReportersGeorge Crabbe85Address to the Unco Guid, or the Rigidly RighteousRobert Burns86Holy Willie’s PrayerRobert Burns88Kitty of ColeraineEdward Lysaght91The Friend of Humanity and the Knife-GrinderGeorge Canning92Nora’s VowSir Walter Scott94JobSamuel T. Coleridge95CologneSamuel T. Coleridge96Giles’s HopeSamuel T. Coleridge96The Battle of BlenheimRobert Southey97The Well of St. KeyneRobert Southey99The Poet of FashionJames Smith101Christmas Out of TownJames Smith103Eternal LondonThomas Moore105The Modern Puffing SystemThomas Moore106LyingThomas Moore108The King of Yvetot (Version of W. M. Thackeray)Pierre Jean de Béranger109SympathyReginald Heber111A Modest WitSelleck Osborn112The Philosopher’s ScalesJane Taylor114From “The Feast of the Poets”James Henry Leigh Hunt116Rich and Poor; or, Saint and SinnerThomas L. Peacock117Mr. Barney Maguire’s Account of the CoronationRichard Harris Barham119From “The Devil’s Drive”Lord Byron123From “English Bards and Scotch Reviewers”Lord Byron125To WomanLord Byron126A Country House PartyLord Byron127Greediness PunishedFriedrich Rückert130WomanFitz-Greene Halleck132The Rich and the Poor Man (From the Russian of Kremnitzer)Sir John Bowring132OzymandiasPercy Bysshe Shelley134Cui BonoThomas Carlyle135Father-Land and Mother TongueSamuel Lover135Father MolloySamuel Lover136Gaffer Gray (From “Hugh Trevor”)Thomas Holcroft139Cockle v. CackleThomas Hood140Our VillageThomas Hood145The Devil at Home (From “The Devil’s Progress”)Thomas Kibble Hervey149How to Make a NovelLord Charles Neaves150Two CharactersHenry Taylor151The Sailor’s ConsolationWilliam Pitt152Verses on seeing the Speaker asleep in his Chair during One of the Debates of the First Reformed ParliamentWinthrop M. Praed154Pelters of PyramidsRichard Hengist Horne155The AnnuityGeorge Outram156MalbrouckTranslated by Father Prout161A Man’s RequirementsElizabeth Barrett Browning163CriticsElizabeth Barrett Browning164The MiserEdward Fitzgerald166Cacoëthes ScribendiOliver Wendell Holmes166A Familiar Letter to Several CorrespondentsOliver Wendell Holmes167ContentmentOliver Wendell Holmes171How to Make a Man of ConsequenceMark Lemon173The Widow MaloneCharles Lever173The Pauper’s DriveT. Noel175On LyttonAlfred Tennyson177Sorrows of WertherWilliam Makepeace Thackeray178Mr. Molony’s Account of the Ball Given to the Nepaulese Ambassador by the Peninsular and Oriental CompanyWilliam Makepeace Thackeray179Damages, Two Hundred PoundsWilliam Makepeace Thackeray182The Lost LeaderRobert Browning186The Pope and the NetRobert Browning188Soliloquy of the Spanish CloisterRobert Browning190Cynical Ode to an Ultra-Cynical PublicCharles Mackay192The Great CriticsCharles Mackay193The LaureateWilliam E. Aytoun194Woman’s WillJohn Godfrey Saxe196The Mourner á la ModeJohn Godfrey Saxe197There is no GodArthur Hugh Clough199The Latest DecalogueArthur Hugh Clough200From “A Fable for Critics”James Russell Lowell201The Pious Editor’s CreedJames Russell Lowell206Revelry in IndiaBartholomew Dowling210A FragmentGrace Greenwood212Nothing to WearWilliam Allen Butler213A Review (The Inn Album, By Robert Browning)Bayard Taylor221The PositivistsMortimer Collins224Sky-MakingMortimer Collins226My Lord TomnoddyRobert Barnabas Brough227Hiding the SkeletonGeorge Meredith229MidgesRobert Bulwer Lytton230The Schoolmaster Abroad with his SonCharles Stuart Calverley233Of ProprietyCharles Stuart Calverley235Peace. A StudyCharles Stuart Calverley236All SaintsEdmund Yates237Fame’s Penny TrumpetLewis Carroll238The Diamond WeddingEdmund Clarence Stedman240True to PollFrank C. Burnand247Sleep OnW. S. Gilbert249To the Terrestrial Globe, By a Miserable WretchW. S. Gilbert250The Ape and the LadyW. S. Gilbert250Anglicised UtopiaW. S. Gilbert252EtiquetteW. S. Gilbert254The ÆstheteW. S. Gilbert260Too LateFitz-Hugh Ludlow261Life in LaconicsMary Mapes Dodge263DistichesJohn Hay264The Poet and the CriticsAustin Dobson265The Love LetterAustin Dobson267FameJames Herbert Morse269Five LivesEdward Rowland Sill270He and SheEugene Fitch Ware272What Will We Do?Robert J. Burdette272The ToolRichard Watson Gilder273Give Me a ThemeRichard Watson Gilder274The Poem, To the CriticRichard Watson Gilder274Ballade of Literary FameA. Lang274Chorus of Anglomaniacs (From The Buntling Ball)Edgar Fawcett275The Net of LawJames Jeffrey Roche277A Boston LullabyJames Jeffrey Roche277The V-A-S-EJames Jeffrey Roche278ThursdayFrederick E. Weatherly280A Bird in the HandFrederick E. Weatherly281An Advanced ThinkerBrander Matthews282A ThoughtJ. K. Stephen283A SonnetJ. K. Stephen284They SaidEdith M. Thomas284To R. K.J. K. Stephen286To Miguel de Cervantes SaavedraR. K. Munkittrick287What’s in a NameR. K. Munkittrick288WedH. C. Bunner289Atlantic CityH. C. Bunner290The Font in the ForestHerman Knickerbocker Vielé294The Origin of SinSamuel Walter Foss294A PhilosopherSamuel Walter Foss295The Fate of Pious DanSamuel Walter Foss298The Meeting of the ClabberhusesSamuel Walter Foss300Wedded BlissCharlotte Perkins (Stetson) Gilman303A ConservativeCharlotte Perkins (Stetson) Gilman304Same Old StoryHarry B. Smith306Hem and HawBliss Carman307The ScepticsBliss Carman308The Evolution of a “Name”Charles Battell Loomis310“The Hurt that Honour Feels”Owen Seaman310John JenkinsAnthony C. Deane313A Certain CureAnthony C. Deane316The Beauties of Nature (A Fragment from an Unpublished Epic)Anthony C. Deane317Paradise. A Hindoo LegendGeorge Birdseye319Hoch! der KaiserRodney Blake320On a Magazine SonnetRussell Hilliard Loines321EarthOliver Herford321A Butterfly of FashionOliver Herford322General SummaryRudyard Kipling324The Conundrum of the WorkshopsRudyard Kipling326Extracts from the Rubaiyat of Omar CayenneGelett Burgess328Ballade of ExpansionHilda Johnson331Friday Afternoon at the Boston Symphony HallFaulkner Armytage332War is KindStephen Crane336LinesStephen Crane337From “The House of a Hundred Lights”Frederic Ridgely Torrence340The British VisitorFrom The Troliopiad343A MatchPunch343Wanted a GovernessAnonymous346Lines by an Old FogyAnonymous348
Chorus of Women
Aristophanes
A Would-Be Literary Bore
Horace
The Wish for Length of Life
Juvenal
The Ass’s Legacy
Ruteboeuf
A Ballade of Old-Time Ladies (Translated by John Payne).
François Villon
A Carman’s Account of a Lawsuit
Sir David Lyndsay
The Soul’s Errand
Sir Walter Raleigh
Of a Certain Man
Sir John Harrington
A Precise Tailor
Sir John Harrington
The Will
John Donne
From “King Henry IV”
William Shakespeare
From “Love’s Labour’s Lost”
William Shakespeare
From “As You Like It”
William Shakespeare
Horace Concocting An Ode
Thomas Dekker
On Don Surly
Ben Jonson
The Scholar and His Dog
John Marston
The Manly Heart
George Wither
The Constant Lover
Sir John Suckling
The Remonstrance
Sir John Suckling
Saintship versus Conscience
Samuel Butler
Description of Holland
Samuel Butler
The Religion of Hudibras
Samuel Butler
Satire on the Scots
John Cleiveland
Song
Richard Lovelace
The Character of Holland
Andrew Marvell
The Duke of Buckingham
John Dryden
On Shadwell
John Dryden
Satire on Edward Howard
Charles Sackville, Earl of Dorset
St. Anthony’s Sermon to the Fishes
Abraham á Sancta Clara
Introduction to the True-Born Englishman
Daniel Defoe
An Epitaph
Matthew Prior
The Remedy Worse than the Disease
Matthew Prior
Twelve Articles
Jonathan Swift
The Furniture of a Woman’s Mind
Jonathan Swift
From “The Love of Fame”
Edward Young
Dr. Delany’s Villa
Thomas Sheridan
The Quidnunckis
John Gay
The Sick Man and the Angel
John Gay
Sandys’ Ghost
Alexander Pope
From “The Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot”
Alexander Pope
The Three Black Crows
John Byrom
An Epitaph
George John Cayley
An Epistle to Sir Robert Walpole
Henry Fielding
The Public Breakfast
Christopher Anstey
An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog
Oliver Goldsmith
On Smollett
Charles Churchill
The Uncertain Man
William Cowper
A Faithful Picture of Ordinary Society
William Cowper
On Johnson
John Wolcott(Peter Pindar)
To Boswell
John Wolcott(Peter Pindar)
The Hen
Matt. Claudius
Let Us All be Unhappy Together
Charles Dibdin
The Friar of Orders Gray
John O’Keefe
The Country Squire
Tomas Yriarte
The Eggs
Tomas Yriarte
The Literary Lady
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Sly Lawyers
George Crabbe
Reporters
George Crabbe
Address to the Unco Guid, or the Rigidly Righteous
Robert Burns
Holy Willie’s Prayer
Robert Burns
Kitty of Coleraine
Edward Lysaght
The Friend of Humanity and the Knife-Grinder
George Canning
Nora’s Vow
Sir Walter Scott
Job
Samuel T. Coleridge
Cologne
Samuel T. Coleridge
Giles’s Hope
Samuel T. Coleridge
The Battle of Blenheim
Robert Southey
The Well of St. Keyne
Robert Southey
The Poet of Fashion
James Smith
Christmas Out of Town
James Smith
Eternal London
Thomas Moore
The Modern Puffing System
Thomas Moore
Lying
Thomas Moore
The King of Yvetot (Version of W. M. Thackeray)
Pierre Jean de Béranger
Sympathy
Reginald Heber
A Modest Wit
Selleck Osborn
The Philosopher’s Scales
Jane Taylor
From “The Feast of the Poets”
James Henry Leigh Hunt
Rich and Poor; or, Saint and Sinner
Thomas L. Peacock
Mr. Barney Maguire’s Account of the Coronation
Richard Harris Barham
From “The Devil’s Drive”
Lord Byron
From “English Bards and Scotch Reviewers”
Lord Byron
To Woman
Lord Byron
A Country House Party
Lord Byron
Greediness Punished
Friedrich Rückert
Woman
Fitz-Greene Halleck
The Rich and the Poor Man (From the Russian of Kremnitzer)
Sir John Bowring
Ozymandias
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Cui Bono
Thomas Carlyle
Father-Land and Mother Tongue
Samuel Lover
Father Molloy
Samuel Lover
Gaffer Gray (From “Hugh Trevor”)
Thomas Holcroft
Cockle v. Cackle
Thomas Hood
Our Village
Thomas Hood
The Devil at Home (From “The Devil’s Progress”)
Thomas Kibble Hervey
How to Make a Novel
Lord Charles Neaves
Two Characters
Henry Taylor
The Sailor’s Consolation
William Pitt
Verses on seeing the Speaker asleep in his Chair during One of the Debates of the First Reformed Parliament
Winthrop M. Praed
Pelters of Pyramids
Richard Hengist Horne
The Annuity
George Outram
Malbrouck
Translated by Father Prout
A Man’s Requirements
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Critics
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
The Miser
Edward Fitzgerald
Cacoëthes Scribendi
Oliver Wendell Holmes
A Familiar Letter to Several Correspondents
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Contentment
Oliver Wendell Holmes
How to Make a Man of Consequence
Mark Lemon
The Widow Malone
Charles Lever
The Pauper’s Drive
T. Noel
On Lytton
Alfred Tennyson
Sorrows of Werther
William Makepeace Thackeray
Mr. Molony’s Account of the Ball Given to the Nepaulese Ambassador by the Peninsular and Oriental Company
William Makepeace Thackeray
Damages, Two Hundred Pounds
William Makepeace Thackeray
The Lost Leader
Robert Browning
The Pope and the Net
Robert Browning
Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloister
Robert Browning
Cynical Ode to an Ultra-Cynical Public
Charles Mackay
The Great Critics
Charles Mackay
The Laureate
William E. Aytoun
Woman’s Will
John Godfrey Saxe
The Mourner á la Mode
John Godfrey Saxe
There is no God
Arthur Hugh Clough
The Latest Decalogue
Arthur Hugh Clough
From “A Fable for Critics”
James Russell Lowell
The Pious Editor’s Creed
James Russell Lowell
Revelry in India
Bartholomew Dowling
A Fragment
Grace Greenwood
Nothing to Wear
William Allen Butler
A Review (The Inn Album, By Robert Browning)
Bayard Taylor
The Positivists
Mortimer Collins
Sky-Making
Mortimer Collins
My Lord Tomnoddy
Robert Barnabas Brough
Hiding the Skeleton
George Meredith
Midges
Robert Bulwer Lytton
The Schoolmaster Abroad with his Son
Charles Stuart Calverley
Of Propriety
Charles Stuart Calverley
Peace. A Study
Charles Stuart Calverley
All Saints
Edmund Yates
Fame’s Penny Trumpet
Lewis Carroll
The Diamond Wedding
Edmund Clarence Stedman
True to Poll
Frank C. Burnand
Sleep On
W. S. Gilbert
To the Terrestrial Globe, By a Miserable Wretch
W. S. Gilbert
The Ape and the Lady
W. S. Gilbert
Anglicised Utopia
W. S. Gilbert
Etiquette
W. S. Gilbert
The Æsthete
W. S. Gilbert
Too Late
Fitz-Hugh Ludlow
Life in Laconics
Mary Mapes Dodge
Distiches
John Hay
The Poet and the Critics
Austin Dobson
The Love Letter
Austin Dobson
Fame
James Herbert Morse
Five Lives
Edward Rowland Sill
He and She
Eugene Fitch Ware
What Will We Do?
Robert J. Burdette
The Tool
Richard Watson Gilder
Give Me a Theme
Richard Watson Gilder
The Poem, To the Critic
Richard Watson Gilder
Ballade of Literary Fame
A. Lang
Chorus of Anglomaniacs (From The Buntling Ball)
Edgar Fawcett
The Net of Law
James Jeffrey Roche
A Boston Lullaby
James Jeffrey Roche
The V-A-S-E
James Jeffrey Roche
Thursday
Frederick E. Weatherly
A Bird in the Hand
Frederick E. Weatherly
An Advanced Thinker
Brander Matthews
A Thought
J. K. Stephen
A Sonnet
J. K. Stephen
They Said
Edith M. Thomas
To R. K.
J. K. Stephen
To Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
R. K. Munkittrick
What’s in a Name
R. K. Munkittrick
Wed
H. C. Bunner
Atlantic City
H. C. Bunner
The Font in the Forest
Herman Knickerbocker Vielé
The Origin of Sin
Samuel Walter Foss
A Philosopher
Samuel Walter Foss
The Fate of Pious Dan
Samuel Walter Foss
The Meeting of the Clabberhuses
Samuel Walter Foss
Wedded Bliss
Charlotte Perkins (Stetson) Gilman
A Conservative
Charlotte Perkins (Stetson) Gilman
Same Old Story
Harry B. Smith
Hem and Haw
Bliss Carman
The Sceptics
Bliss Carman
The Evolution of a “Name”
Charles Battell Loomis
“The Hurt that Honour Feels”
Owen Seaman
John Jenkins
Anthony C. Deane
A Certain Cure
Anthony C. Deane
The Beauties of Nature (A Fragment from an Unpublished Epic)
Anthony C. Deane
Paradise. A Hindoo Legend
George Birdseye
Hoch! der Kaiser
Rodney Blake
On a Magazine Sonnet
Russell Hilliard Loines
Earth
Oliver Herford
A Butterfly of Fashion
Oliver Herford
General Summary
Rudyard Kipling
The Conundrum of the Workshops
Rudyard Kipling
Extracts from the Rubaiyat of Omar Cayenne
Gelett Burgess
Ballade of Expansion
Hilda Johnson
Friday Afternoon at the Boston Symphony Hall
Faulkner Armytage
War is Kind
Stephen Crane
Lines
Stephen Crane
From “The House of a Hundred Lights”
Frederic Ridgely Torrence
The British Visitor
From The Troliopiad
A Match
Punch
Wanted a Governess
Anonymous
Lines by an Old Fogy
Anonymous