Chapter 6

R. Roister.What is a gentleman, but his word and his promise?I must now save this villain's life in any wise;And yet at him already my hands do tickle,I shall unneth[129]hold them, they will be so fickle.But lo, and Merrygreek have not brought him sens![130]M. Merry.Nay, I would I had of my purse paid fortypence.Scrivener.So would I too; but it needed not that stound.[131]M. Merry.But the gentman had rather spent five thousand pound;For it disgraced him at least five times as much.[EnterScrivenerat one side.]Scrivener.He disgraced himself, his loutishness is such.R. Roister.How long they stand prating.(To Merry.)Why com'st thou not away?M. Merry.(to Scriv.)Come now to himself, and hark what he will say.Scrivener.I am not afraid in his presence to appear.R Roister.Art thou come, fellow?Scrivener.How think you? Am I not here?R. Roister.What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villainy!Scrivener.It hath come of thyself, if thou hast had any.R. Roister.All the stock thou comest of, later or rather,[132]From thy first father's grandfather's father's father,Nor all that shall come of thee, to the world's end,Though to three score generations they descend,Can be able to make a just recompenseFor this trespass of thine and this one offence.Scrivener.Wherein?R. Roister.Did not you make me a letter, brother?Scrivener.Pay the like hire, I will make you such an other.R. Roister.Nay, see, and these whoreson Pharisees and ScribesDo not get their living by polling[133]and bribes.If it were not for shame——M. Merry.Nay, hold thy hands still.[134]Why, did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?[135]Scrivener.Let him not spare me.R. Roister.Why, wilt thou strike me again?Scrivener.Ye shall have as good as ye bring of me, that is plain.M. Merry.I cannot blame him, sir, though your blows would him grieve;For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye give.R. Roister.Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.Scrivener.And what say ye to me? or else I will be gone.R. Roister. I say, the letter thou madest me was not good.Scrivener.Then did ye wrong copy it, of likelihood.R. Roister.Yes, out of thy copy, word for word, I it wrote.Scrivener.Then was it as you prayed to have it, I wot:But in reading and pointing there was made some fault.R. Roister.I wot not; but it made all my matter to halt.Scrivener.How say you, is this mine original, or no?R. Roister.The self same that I wrote out of, so mot I go.Scrivener.Look you on your own fist, and I will look on this.And let this man be judge, whether I read amiss.To mine own dear coney, bird, sweetheart, and pigsny,Good Mistress Custance, present these by and by.How now? doth not this superscription agree?R. Roister.Read that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.Scrivener."Sweet Mistress, whereas I love you; nothing at allRegarding your riches and substance; chief of allFor your personage, beauty, demeanour and wit,I commend me unto you; never a whitSorry to hear report of your good welfare;For (as I hear say) such your conditions are,That ye be worthy favour; of no living manTo be abhorred; of every honest manTo be taken for a woman inclined to viceNothing at all; to virtue giving her due price.Wherefore, concerning marriage, ye are thoughtSuch a fine paragon as ne'er honest man bought.And now, by these presents, I do you advertiseAnd now, by these presents, I do you advertiseThat I am minded to marry you; in no wiseFor your goods and substance; I can be contentTo take you as ye are. If ye will be my wife,Ye shall be assured for the time of my lifeI will keep ye right well: from good raiment and fareYe shall not be kept: but in sorrow and careYe shall in no wise live; at your own libertyDo and say what ye lust; ye shall never please me,But when ye are merry; I will be all sad,When ye are sorry; I will be very glad,When ye seek your heart's ease; I will be unkindAt no time; in me shall ye much gentleness find.But all things contrary to your will and mindShall be done otherwise. I will not be behindTo speak; and as for all they that would do you wrong(I will so help and maintain ye) shall not live long,Nor any foolish dolt shall cumber you; but I—I whoe'er say nay, will stick by you till I die.Thus, good Mistress Custance, the Lord you save and keep!From me, Roister Doister, whether I wake or sleep,Who favoureth you no less (ye may be bold)Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfold."Now, sir, what default can ye find in this letter?R. Roister.Of truth, in my mind, there cannot be a better.Scrivener.Then was the fault in reading, and not in writing,No, nor, I dare say, in the form of inditing.But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?M. Merry.I read it indeed.Scrivener.Ye read it not as ye ought.R. Roister.Why, thou wretched villain, was all this same fault in thee?M. Merry.I knock your costard,[136]if ye offer to strike me.R Roister.Strikest thou indeed, and I offer but in jest?M. Merry.Yea, and rap ye again, except ye can sit in rest.And I will no longer tarry here, me believe.R. Roister.What, wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgive?Fare thou well, scribbler; I cry thee mercy indeed.Scrivener.Fare ye well, bibbler, and worthily may ye speed.R. Roister.If it were another than thou, it were a knave.M. Merry.Ye are another yourself, sir, the Lord us both save;Albeit in this matter I must your pardon crave.Alas! would ye wish in me the wit that ye have?But, as for my fault, I can quickly amend:I will show Custance it was I that did offend.R. Roister.By so doing her anger may be reformed.M. Merry.But if by no entreaty she will be turned,Then set light by her, and be as testy as she,And do your force upon her with extremity.R. Roister.Come on therefore; let us go home in sadness.M. Merry.That if force shall need, all may be in readiness.[137]And as for this letter, hardily let all go;We will know, whe'er she refuse you for that or no.[Exeant amb.

R. Roister.What is a gentleman, but his word and his promise?

I must now save this villain's life in any wise;

And yet at him already my hands do tickle,

I shall unneth[129]hold them, they will be so fickle.

But lo, and Merrygreek have not brought him sens![130]

M. Merry.Nay, I would I had of my purse paid fortypence.

Scrivener.So would I too; but it needed not that stound.[131]

M. Merry.But the gentman had rather spent five thousand pound;For it disgraced him at least five times as much.

M. Merry.But the gentman had rather spent five thousand pound;

For it disgraced him at least five times as much.

[EnterScrivenerat one side.]

Scrivener.He disgraced himself, his loutishness is such.

R. Roister.How long they stand prating.(To Merry.)Why com'st thou not away?

M. Merry.(to Scriv.)Come now to himself, and hark what he will say.

Scrivener.I am not afraid in his presence to appear.

R Roister.Art thou come, fellow?

Scrivener.How think you? Am I not here?

R. Roister.What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villainy!

Scrivener.It hath come of thyself, if thou hast had any.

R. Roister.All the stock thou comest of, later or rather,[132]From thy first father's grandfather's father's father,Nor all that shall come of thee, to the world's end,Though to three score generations they descend,Can be able to make a just recompenseFor this trespass of thine and this one offence.

R. Roister.All the stock thou comest of, later or rather,[132]

From thy first father's grandfather's father's father,

Nor all that shall come of thee, to the world's end,

Though to three score generations they descend,

Can be able to make a just recompense

For this trespass of thine and this one offence.

Scrivener.Wherein?

R. Roister.Did not you make me a letter, brother?

Scrivener.Pay the like hire, I will make you such an other.

R. Roister.Nay, see, and these whoreson Pharisees and ScribesDo not get their living by polling[133]and bribes.If it were not for shame——

R. Roister.Nay, see, and these whoreson Pharisees and Scribes

Do not get their living by polling[133]and bribes.

If it were not for shame——

M. Merry.Nay, hold thy hands still.[134]Why, did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?[135]

M. Merry.Nay, hold thy hands still.[134]

Why, did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?[135]

Scrivener.Let him not spare me.

R. Roister.Why, wilt thou strike me again?

Scrivener.Ye shall have as good as ye bring of me, that is plain.

M. Merry.I cannot blame him, sir, though your blows would him grieve;For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye give.

M. Merry.I cannot blame him, sir, though your blows would him grieve;

For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye give.

R. Roister.Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.

Scrivener.And what say ye to me? or else I will be gone.

R. Roister. I say, the letter thou madest me was not good.

Scrivener.Then did ye wrong copy it, of likelihood.

R. Roister.Yes, out of thy copy, word for word, I it wrote.

Scrivener.Then was it as you prayed to have it, I wot:But in reading and pointing there was made some fault.

Scrivener.Then was it as you prayed to have it, I wot:

But in reading and pointing there was made some fault.

R. Roister.I wot not; but it made all my matter to halt.

Scrivener.How say you, is this mine original, or no?

R. Roister.The self same that I wrote out of, so mot I go.

Scrivener.Look you on your own fist, and I will look on this.And let this man be judge, whether I read amiss.

Scrivener.Look you on your own fist, and I will look on this.

And let this man be judge, whether I read amiss.

To mine own dear coney, bird, sweetheart, and pigsny,Good Mistress Custance, present these by and by.

To mine own dear coney, bird, sweetheart, and pigsny,

Good Mistress Custance, present these by and by.

How now? doth not this superscription agree?

R. Roister.Read that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.

Scrivener.

"Sweet Mistress, whereas I love you; nothing at allRegarding your riches and substance; chief of allFor your personage, beauty, demeanour and wit,I commend me unto you; never a whitSorry to hear report of your good welfare;For (as I hear say) such your conditions are,That ye be worthy favour; of no living manTo be abhorred; of every honest manTo be taken for a woman inclined to viceNothing at all; to virtue giving her due price.Wherefore, concerning marriage, ye are thoughtSuch a fine paragon as ne'er honest man bought.And now, by these presents, I do you advertiseAnd now, by these presents, I do you advertiseThat I am minded to marry you; in no wiseFor your goods and substance; I can be contentTo take you as ye are. If ye will be my wife,Ye shall be assured for the time of my lifeI will keep ye right well: from good raiment and fareYe shall not be kept: but in sorrow and careYe shall in no wise live; at your own libertyDo and say what ye lust; ye shall never please me,But when ye are merry; I will be all sad,When ye are sorry; I will be very glad,When ye seek your heart's ease; I will be unkindAt no time; in me shall ye much gentleness find.But all things contrary to your will and mindShall be done otherwise. I will not be behindTo speak; and as for all they that would do you wrong(I will so help and maintain ye) shall not live long,Nor any foolish dolt shall cumber you; but I—I whoe'er say nay, will stick by you till I die.Thus, good Mistress Custance, the Lord you save and keep!From me, Roister Doister, whether I wake or sleep,Who favoureth you no less (ye may be bold)Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfold."

"Sweet Mistress, whereas I love you; nothing at all

Regarding your riches and substance; chief of all

For your personage, beauty, demeanour and wit,

I commend me unto you; never a whit

Sorry to hear report of your good welfare;

For (as I hear say) such your conditions are,

That ye be worthy favour; of no living man

To be abhorred; of every honest man

To be taken for a woman inclined to vice

Nothing at all; to virtue giving her due price.

Wherefore, concerning marriage, ye are thought

Such a fine paragon as ne'er honest man bought.

And now, by these presents, I do you advertise

That I am minded to marry you; in no wise

For your goods and substance; I can be content

To take you as ye are. If ye will be my wife,

Ye shall be assured for the time of my life

I will keep ye right well: from good raiment and fare

Ye shall not be kept: but in sorrow and care

Ye shall in no wise live; at your own liberty

Do and say what ye lust; ye shall never please me,

But when ye are merry; I will be all sad,

When ye are sorry; I will be very glad,

When ye seek your heart's ease; I will be unkind

At no time; in me shall ye much gentleness find.

But all things contrary to your will and mind

Shall be done otherwise. I will not be behind

To speak; and as for all they that would do you wrong

(I will so help and maintain ye) shall not live long,

Nor any foolish dolt shall cumber you; but I—

I whoe'er say nay, will stick by you till I die.

Thus, good Mistress Custance, the Lord you save and keep!

From me, Roister Doister, whether I wake or sleep,

Who favoureth you no less (ye may be bold)

Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfold."

Now, sir, what default can ye find in this letter?

R. Roister.Of truth, in my mind, there cannot be a better.

Scrivener.Then was the fault in reading, and not in writing,No, nor, I dare say, in the form of inditing.But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?

Scrivener.Then was the fault in reading, and not in writing,

No, nor, I dare say, in the form of inditing.

But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?

M. Merry.I read it indeed.

Scrivener.Ye read it not as ye ought.

R. Roister.Why, thou wretched villain, was all this same fault in thee?

M. Merry.I knock your costard,[136]if ye offer to strike me.

R Roister.Strikest thou indeed, and I offer but in jest?

M. Merry.Yea, and rap ye again, except ye can sit in rest.And I will no longer tarry here, me believe.

M. Merry.Yea, and rap ye again, except ye can sit in rest.

And I will no longer tarry here, me believe.

R. Roister.What, wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgive?Fare thou well, scribbler; I cry thee mercy indeed.

R. Roister.What, wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgive?

Fare thou well, scribbler; I cry thee mercy indeed.

Scrivener.Fare ye well, bibbler, and worthily may ye speed.

R. Roister.If it were another than thou, it were a knave.

M. Merry.Ye are another yourself, sir, the Lord us both save;Albeit in this matter I must your pardon crave.Alas! would ye wish in me the wit that ye have?But, as for my fault, I can quickly amend:I will show Custance it was I that did offend.

M. Merry.Ye are another yourself, sir, the Lord us both save;

Albeit in this matter I must your pardon crave.

Alas! would ye wish in me the wit that ye have?

But, as for my fault, I can quickly amend:

I will show Custance it was I that did offend.

R. Roister.By so doing her anger may be reformed.

M. Merry.But if by no entreaty she will be turned,Then set light by her, and be as testy as she,And do your force upon her with extremity.

M. Merry.But if by no entreaty she will be turned,

Then set light by her, and be as testy as she,

And do your force upon her with extremity.

R. Roister.Come on therefore; let us go home in sadness.

M. Merry.That if force shall need, all may be in readiness.[137]And as for this letter, hardily let all go;We will know, whe'er she refuse you for that or no.[Exeant amb.

M. Merry.That if force shall need, all may be in readiness.[137]

And as for this letter, hardily let all go;

We will know, whe'er she refuse you for that or no.[Exeant amb.

Sim. Suresby.

Sim. Sure.Is there any man but I, Sim. Suresby, alone,That would have taken such an enterprise him upon;In such an outrageous tempest as this was,Such a dangerous gulf of the sea to pass?I think verily Neptune's mighty godshipWas angry with some that was in our ship,And but for the honesty which in me he found,I think for the other's sake we had been drown'd.But fie on that servant which, for his master's wealth,[138]Will stick for to hazard both his life and his health.My master Gawin Goodluck after me a day,Because of the weather, thought best his ship to stay;And now that I have the rough surges so well passed,God grant I may find all things safe here at last.Then will I think all my travail well-spent.Now, the first point whereof my master hath me sent,Is to salute dame Christian Custance, his wifeEspoused, whom he tendreth no less than his life.I must see how it is with her, well or wrong,And whether for him she doth not now think long.Then to other friends I have a message or tway;And then so to return and meet him on the way.Now will I go knock, that I may dispatch with speed;But lo! forth cometh herself happily indeed.

Sim. Sure.Is there any man but I, Sim. Suresby, alone,

That would have taken such an enterprise him upon;

In such an outrageous tempest as this was,

Such a dangerous gulf of the sea to pass?

I think verily Neptune's mighty godship

Was angry with some that was in our ship,

And but for the honesty which in me he found,

I think for the other's sake we had been drown'd.

But fie on that servant which, for his master's wealth,[138]

Will stick for to hazard both his life and his health.

My master Gawin Goodluck after me a day,

Because of the weather, thought best his ship to stay;

And now that I have the rough surges so well passed,

God grant I may find all things safe here at last.

Then will I think all my travail well-spent.

Now, the first point whereof my master hath me sent,

Is to salute dame Christian Custance, his wife

Espoused, whom he tendreth no less than his life.

I must see how it is with her, well or wrong,

And whether for him she doth not now think long.

Then to other friends I have a message or tway;

And then so to return and meet him on the way.

Now will I go knock, that I may dispatch with speed;

But lo! forth cometh herself happily indeed.

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 2.

Christian Custance, Sim. Suresby.

C. Custance.I come to see if any more stirring be here.But what stranger is this, which doth to me appear?Sim. Suresby.I will speak to her. Dame, the Lord you save and see!C. Custance.What, friend Sim. Suresby. Forsooth, right welcome ye be.How doth mine own Gawin Goodluck, I pray thee tell?Sim. Sure.When he knoweth of your health, he will be perfect well.C. Custance.If he have perfect health, I am as I would be.Sim. Sure.Such news will please him well. This is as it should be.C. Custance.I think now long for him.Sim. Sure.And he as long for you.C. Custance.When will he be at home?Sim. Sure.His heart is here e'en now;His body cometh after.C. Custance.I would see that fain.Sim. Sure.As fast as wind and sail can carry it a-main.But what two men are yond coming hitherwards?C. Custance.Now I shrew their best Christmas cheeks both togetherward.

C. Custance.I come to see if any more stirring be here.But what stranger is this, which doth to me appear?

C. Custance.I come to see if any more stirring be here.

But what stranger is this, which doth to me appear?

Sim. Suresby.I will speak to her. Dame, the Lord you save and see!

C. Custance.What, friend Sim. Suresby. Forsooth, right welcome ye be.How doth mine own Gawin Goodluck, I pray thee tell?

C. Custance.What, friend Sim. Suresby. Forsooth, right welcome ye be.

How doth mine own Gawin Goodluck, I pray thee tell?

Sim. Sure.When he knoweth of your health, he will be perfect well.

C. Custance.If he have perfect health, I am as I would be.

Sim. Sure.Such news will please him well. This is as it should be.

C. Custance.I think now long for him.

Sim. Sure.And he as long for you.

C. Custance.When will he be at home?

Sim. Sure.His heart is here e'en now;His body cometh after.

Sim. Sure.His heart is here e'en now;

His body cometh after.

C. Custance.I would see that fain.

Sim. Sure.As fast as wind and sail can carry it a-main.But what two men are yond coming hitherwards?

Sim. Sure.As fast as wind and sail can carry it a-main.

But what two men are yond coming hitherwards?

C. Custance.Now I shrew their best Christmas cheeks both togetherward.

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 3.

Christian Custance, Sim. Suresby, Ralph Roister, Matthew Merrygreek, Truepenny.

C. Custance.What mean these lewd fellows thus to trouble me still?Sim. Suresby here, perchance, shall thereof deem some ill,And shall suspect in me some point of naughtiness,And they come hitherward.[Aside.Sim. Sure.What is their business?C. Custance.I have nought to them, nor they to me, in sadness.[139]Sim. Sure.Let us hearken them; somewhat there is, I fear it.R. Roister.I will speak out aloud best, that she may hear it.M. Merry.Nay, alas! ye may so fear her out of her wit.R. Roister.By the cross of my sword, I will hurt her no whit.M. Merry.Will ye do no harm indeed? Shall I trust your word?R. Roister.By Roister Doister's faith, I will speak but in bord.[140]Sim. Sure.Let us hearken them: somewhat there is, I fear it.R. Roister.I will speak out aloud, I care not who hear it.—Sirs, see that my harness, my target and my shieldBe made as bright now, as when I was last in field:As white, as I should to war again to-morrow;For sick shall I be, but I work some folk sorrow.Therefore see that all shine as bright as Saint George,Or as doth a key, newly come from the smith's forge.I would have my sword and harness to shine so bright,That I might therewith dim mine enemies' sight:I would have it cast beams as fast, I tell you plain,As doth the glitt'ring grass after a shower of rain.And see that, in case I should need to come to arming,All things may be ready at a minute's warning.For such chance may chance in an hour: do ye hear?M. Merry.As perchance shall not chance again in seven year.R. Roister.Now, draw ye near to her, and hear what shall be said.M. Merry.But I would not have you make her too much afraid.R. Roister.Well found, sweet wife, (I trust) for all this your sour look.C. Custance.Wife! Why call ye me wife?Sim. Sure(aside). Wife! This gear goeth a-crook.M. Merry.Nay, Mistress Custance, I warrant you our letterIs not as we read e'en now, but much better;And where ye half stomached[141]this gentleman aforeFor this same letter, ye will love him now therefore;Nor it is not this letter, though ye were a queen,That should break marriage between you twain, I ween.C. Custance.I did not refuse him for the letter's sake.R. Roister.Then ye are content me for your husband to take.C. Custance.You for my husband to take!Nothing less truly?R. Roister.Yea, say so, sweet spouse, afore strangers hardily.M. Merry.And though I have here his letter of love with me,Yet his rings and tokens he sent keep safe with ye.C. Custance.A mischief take his tokens, and him, and thee too!But what prate I with fools? Have I nought else to do?Come in with me, Sim. Suresby, to take some repast.Sim. Sure.I must, ere I drink, by your leave, go in all hasteTo a place or two with earnest letters of his.C. Custance.Then come drink here with me.Sim. Sure. I thank you.C. Custance.Do not miss.You shall have a token to your master with you.Sim. Sure.No tokens this time, gramercies. God be with you.[Exeat.C. Custance.Surely, this fellow misdeemeth some ill in me;Which thing, but God help, will go near to spill me.R. Roister.Yea, farewell, fellow, and tell thy master Goodluck,That he cometh too late of this blossom to pluck.Let him keep him there still, or at least-wise make no haste;As for his labour hither he shall spend in waste.His betters be in place now.M. Merry.As long as it will hold.C. Custance(aside). I will be even with thee, thoubeast, thou may'st be bold.R. Roister.Will ye have us then?C. Custance.I will never have thee.R. Roister.Then will I have you.C. Custance.No, the devil shall have thee.I have gotten this hour more shame and harm by thee,Than all thy life-days thou canst do me honesty.M. Merry.Why, now may ye see what it com'th to in the end,To make a deadly foe of your most loving friend:And i-wis this letter, if ye would hear it now—C. Custance.I will hear none of it.M. Merry.In faith, ['t]would ravish you.C. Custance.He hath stained my name for ever, this is clear.R. Roister.I can make all as well in an hour.M. Merry.As ten year.How say ye, will ye have him?C. Custance.No.M. Merry.Will ye take him—C. Custance.I defy him.M. Merry.At my word?C. Custance.A shame take him!Waste no more wind, for it will never be.M. Merry.This one fault with twain shall be mended, ye shall see.Gentle Mistress Custance now, good Mistress Custance,Honey Mistress Custance now, sweet Mistress Custance,Golden Mistress Custance now, white Mistress Custance,Silken Mistress Custance now, fair Mistress Custance.C. Custance.Faith, rather than to marry with such a doltish lout,I would match myself with a beggar, out of doubt.M. Merry.Then I can say no more; to speed we are not like,Except ye rap out a rag of your rhetoric.C. Custance.Speak not of winning me; for it shall never be so.R. Roister.Yes, dame, I will have you, whether ye will or no.I command you to love me! wherefore should ye not?Is not my love to you chafing and burning hot?M. Merry.To her! that is well said.R. Roister.Shall I so break my brain,[142]To doat upon you, and ye not love us again?M. Merry.Well said yet.C. Custance.Go to, thou goose.R. Roister.I say, Kit Custance,In case ye will not haze, well; better yes, perchance.C. Custance.Avaunt, losel![143]pick thee hence!M. Merry.Well, sir, ye perceive,For all your kind offer, she will not you receive.R. Roister.Then a straw for her, and a straw for her again:She shall not be my wife, would she never so fain;No, and though she would be at ten thousand pound cost.M. Merry.Lo, dame, ye may see what an husband ye have lost.C. Custance.Yea, no force;[144]a jewel much better lost than found.M. Merry.Ah, ye will not believe how this doth my heart wound.How should a marriage between you be toward,If both parties draw back, and become so froward?R. Roister.Nay, dame, I will fire thee out of thy house, [though I die;[145]]And destroy thee and all thine, and that by and by.M. Merry.Nay, for the passion of God, sir, do not so.R. Roister.Yes, except she will say yea to that she said no.C. Custance.And what, be there no officers, trow we, in town,To check idle loiterers, bragging up and down?Where be they by whom vagabonds should be represt,That poor silly widows might live in peace and rest?Shall I never rid thee out of my company?I will call for help. What, ho! come forth, Truepenny!Truepenny.[146]Anon. What is your will, Mistress? Did ye call me?C. Custance.Yea: go, run apace, and, as fast as may be,Pray Tristram Trusty, my most assured friend,To be here by and by, that he may me defend.Truepenny.That message so quickly shall be done, by God's grace,That at my return ye shall say, I went apace.[Exeat.C. Custance.Then shall we see, I trow, whether ye shall do me harm.R. Roister.Yes, in faith, Kit, I shall thee and thine so charm,That all women incarnate by thee may beware.C. Custance.Nay, as for charming me, come hither if thou dare.I shall clout thee, till thou stink, both thee and thy train,And coil[147]thee mine own hands, and send thee home again.R. Roister.Yea, say'st thou me that, dame? Dost thou me threaten?Go we, I will see whether I shall be beaten.M. Merry.Nay, for the paishe[148]of God, let me now treat peace;For bloodshed will there be, in case this strife increase.Ah, good dame Custance, take better way with you!C. Custance.Let him do his worst!M. Merry.Yield in time.R. Roister.Come hence, thou![Exeant Roister and Merry.

C. Custance.What mean these lewd fellows thus to trouble me still?

Sim. Suresby here, perchance, shall thereof deem some ill,

And shall suspect in me some point of naughtiness,

And they come hitherward.[Aside.

Sim. Sure.What is their business?

C. Custance.I have nought to them, nor they to me, in sadness.[139]

Sim. Sure.Let us hearken them; somewhat there is, I fear it.

R. Roister.I will speak out aloud best, that she may hear it.

M. Merry.Nay, alas! ye may so fear her out of her wit.

R. Roister.By the cross of my sword, I will hurt her no whit.

M. Merry.Will ye do no harm indeed? Shall I trust your word?

R. Roister.By Roister Doister's faith, I will speak but in bord.[140]

Sim. Sure.Let us hearken them: somewhat there is, I fear it.

R. Roister.I will speak out aloud, I care not who hear it.—Sirs, see that my harness, my target and my shieldBe made as bright now, as when I was last in field:As white, as I should to war again to-morrow;For sick shall I be, but I work some folk sorrow.Therefore see that all shine as bright as Saint George,Or as doth a key, newly come from the smith's forge.I would have my sword and harness to shine so bright,That I might therewith dim mine enemies' sight:I would have it cast beams as fast, I tell you plain,As doth the glitt'ring grass after a shower of rain.And see that, in case I should need to come to arming,All things may be ready at a minute's warning.For such chance may chance in an hour: do ye hear?

R. Roister.I will speak out aloud, I care not who hear it.—

Sirs, see that my harness, my target and my shield

Be made as bright now, as when I was last in field:

As white, as I should to war again to-morrow;

For sick shall I be, but I work some folk sorrow.

Therefore see that all shine as bright as Saint George,

Or as doth a key, newly come from the smith's forge.

I would have my sword and harness to shine so bright,

That I might therewith dim mine enemies' sight:

I would have it cast beams as fast, I tell you plain,

As doth the glitt'ring grass after a shower of rain.

And see that, in case I should need to come to arming,

All things may be ready at a minute's warning.

For such chance may chance in an hour: do ye hear?

M. Merry.As perchance shall not chance again in seven year.

R. Roister.Now, draw ye near to her, and hear what shall be said.

M. Merry.But I would not have you make her too much afraid.

R. Roister.Well found, sweet wife, (I trust) for all this your sour look.

C. Custance.Wife! Why call ye me wife?

Sim. Sure(aside). Wife! This gear goeth a-crook.

M. Merry.Nay, Mistress Custance, I warrant you our letterIs not as we read e'en now, but much better;And where ye half stomached[141]this gentleman aforeFor this same letter, ye will love him now therefore;Nor it is not this letter, though ye were a queen,That should break marriage between you twain, I ween.

M. Merry.Nay, Mistress Custance, I warrant you our letter

Is not as we read e'en now, but much better;

And where ye half stomached[141]this gentleman afore

For this same letter, ye will love him now therefore;

Nor it is not this letter, though ye were a queen,

That should break marriage between you twain, I ween.

C. Custance.I did not refuse him for the letter's sake.

R. Roister.Then ye are content me for your husband to take.

C. Custance.You for my husband to take!Nothing less truly?

C. Custance.You for my husband to take!

Nothing less truly?

R. Roister.Yea, say so, sweet spouse, afore strangers hardily.

M. Merry.And though I have here his letter of love with me,Yet his rings and tokens he sent keep safe with ye.

M. Merry.And though I have here his letter of love with me,

Yet his rings and tokens he sent keep safe with ye.

C. Custance.A mischief take his tokens, and him, and thee too!But what prate I with fools? Have I nought else to do?Come in with me, Sim. Suresby, to take some repast.

C. Custance.A mischief take his tokens, and him, and thee too!

But what prate I with fools? Have I nought else to do?

Come in with me, Sim. Suresby, to take some repast.

Sim. Sure.I must, ere I drink, by your leave, go in all hasteTo a place or two with earnest letters of his.

Sim. Sure.I must, ere I drink, by your leave, go in all haste

To a place or two with earnest letters of his.

C. Custance.Then come drink here with me.

Sim. Sure. I thank you.

C. Custance.Do not miss.You shall have a token to your master with you.

C. Custance.Do not miss.

You shall have a token to your master with you.

Sim. Sure.No tokens this time, gramercies. God be with you.[Exeat.

C. Custance.Surely, this fellow misdeemeth some ill in me;Which thing, but God help, will go near to spill me.

C. Custance.Surely, this fellow misdeemeth some ill in me;

Which thing, but God help, will go near to spill me.

R. Roister.Yea, farewell, fellow, and tell thy master Goodluck,That he cometh too late of this blossom to pluck.Let him keep him there still, or at least-wise make no haste;As for his labour hither he shall spend in waste.His betters be in place now.

R. Roister.Yea, farewell, fellow, and tell thy master Goodluck,

That he cometh too late of this blossom to pluck.

Let him keep him there still, or at least-wise make no haste;

As for his labour hither he shall spend in waste.

His betters be in place now.

M. Merry.As long as it will hold.

C. Custance(aside). I will be even with thee, thoubeast, thou may'st be bold.

C. Custance(aside). I will be even with thee, thou

beast, thou may'st be bold.

R. Roister.Will ye have us then?

C. Custance.I will never have thee.

R. Roister.Then will I have you.

C. Custance.No, the devil shall have thee.I have gotten this hour more shame and harm by thee,Than all thy life-days thou canst do me honesty.

C. Custance.No, the devil shall have thee.

I have gotten this hour more shame and harm by thee,

Than all thy life-days thou canst do me honesty.

M. Merry.Why, now may ye see what it com'th to in the end,To make a deadly foe of your most loving friend:And i-wis this letter, if ye would hear it now—

M. Merry.Why, now may ye see what it com'th to in the end,

To make a deadly foe of your most loving friend:

And i-wis this letter, if ye would hear it now—

C. Custance.I will hear none of it.

M. Merry.In faith, ['t]would ravish you.

C. Custance.He hath stained my name for ever, this is clear.

R. Roister.I can make all as well in an hour.

M. Merry.As ten year.How say ye, will ye have him?

M. Merry.As ten year.

How say ye, will ye have him?

C. Custance.No.

M. Merry.Will ye take him—

C. Custance.I defy him.

M. Merry.At my word?

C. Custance.A shame take him!Waste no more wind, for it will never be.

C. Custance.A shame take him!

Waste no more wind, for it will never be.

M. Merry.This one fault with twain shall be mended, ye shall see.Gentle Mistress Custance now, good Mistress Custance,Honey Mistress Custance now, sweet Mistress Custance,Golden Mistress Custance now, white Mistress Custance,Silken Mistress Custance now, fair Mistress Custance.

M. Merry.This one fault with twain shall be mended, ye shall see.

Gentle Mistress Custance now, good Mistress Custance,

Honey Mistress Custance now, sweet Mistress Custance,

Golden Mistress Custance now, white Mistress Custance,

Silken Mistress Custance now, fair Mistress Custance.

C. Custance.Faith, rather than to marry with such a doltish lout,I would match myself with a beggar, out of doubt.

C. Custance.Faith, rather than to marry with such a doltish lout,

I would match myself with a beggar, out of doubt.

M. Merry.Then I can say no more; to speed we are not like,Except ye rap out a rag of your rhetoric.

M. Merry.Then I can say no more; to speed we are not like,

Except ye rap out a rag of your rhetoric.

C. Custance.Speak not of winning me; for it shall never be so.

R. Roister.Yes, dame, I will have you, whether ye will or no.I command you to love me! wherefore should ye not?Is not my love to you chafing and burning hot?

R. Roister.Yes, dame, I will have you, whether ye will or no.

I command you to love me! wherefore should ye not?

Is not my love to you chafing and burning hot?

M. Merry.To her! that is well said.

R. Roister.Shall I so break my brain,[142]To doat upon you, and ye not love us again?

R. Roister.Shall I so break my brain,[142]

To doat upon you, and ye not love us again?

M. Merry.Well said yet.

C. Custance.Go to, thou goose.

R. Roister.I say, Kit Custance,In case ye will not haze, well; better yes, perchance.

R. Roister.I say, Kit Custance,

In case ye will not haze, well; better yes, perchance.

C. Custance.Avaunt, losel![143]pick thee hence!

M. Merry.Well, sir, ye perceive,For all your kind offer, she will not you receive.

M. Merry.Well, sir, ye perceive,

For all your kind offer, she will not you receive.

R. Roister.Then a straw for her, and a straw for her again:She shall not be my wife, would she never so fain;No, and though she would be at ten thousand pound cost.

R. Roister.Then a straw for her, and a straw for her again:

She shall not be my wife, would she never so fain;

No, and though she would be at ten thousand pound cost.

M. Merry.Lo, dame, ye may see what an husband ye have lost.

C. Custance.Yea, no force;[144]a jewel much better lost than found.

M. Merry.Ah, ye will not believe how this doth my heart wound.How should a marriage between you be toward,If both parties draw back, and become so froward?

M. Merry.Ah, ye will not believe how this doth my heart wound.

How should a marriage between you be toward,

If both parties draw back, and become so froward?

R. Roister.Nay, dame, I will fire thee out of thy house, [though I die;[145]]And destroy thee and all thine, and that by and by.

R. Roister.Nay, dame, I will fire thee out of thy house, [though I die;[145]]

And destroy thee and all thine, and that by and by.

M. Merry.Nay, for the passion of God, sir, do not so.

R. Roister.Yes, except she will say yea to that she said no.

C. Custance.And what, be there no officers, trow we, in town,To check idle loiterers, bragging up and down?Where be they by whom vagabonds should be represt,That poor silly widows might live in peace and rest?Shall I never rid thee out of my company?I will call for help. What, ho! come forth, Truepenny!

C. Custance.And what, be there no officers, trow we, in town,

To check idle loiterers, bragging up and down?

Where be they by whom vagabonds should be represt,

That poor silly widows might live in peace and rest?

Shall I never rid thee out of my company?

I will call for help. What, ho! come forth, Truepenny!

Truepenny.[146]Anon. What is your will, Mistress? Did ye call me?

C. Custance.Yea: go, run apace, and, as fast as may be,Pray Tristram Trusty, my most assured friend,To be here by and by, that he may me defend.

C. Custance.Yea: go, run apace, and, as fast as may be,

Pray Tristram Trusty, my most assured friend,

To be here by and by, that he may me defend.

Truepenny.That message so quickly shall be done, by God's grace,That at my return ye shall say, I went apace.[Exeat.

Truepenny.That message so quickly shall be done, by God's grace,

That at my return ye shall say, I went apace.[Exeat.

C. Custance.Then shall we see, I trow, whether ye shall do me harm.

R. Roister.Yes, in faith, Kit, I shall thee and thine so charm,That all women incarnate by thee may beware.

R. Roister.Yes, in faith, Kit, I shall thee and thine so charm,

That all women incarnate by thee may beware.

C. Custance.Nay, as for charming me, come hither if thou dare.I shall clout thee, till thou stink, both thee and thy train,And coil[147]thee mine own hands, and send thee home again.

C. Custance.Nay, as for charming me, come hither if thou dare.

I shall clout thee, till thou stink, both thee and thy train,

And coil[147]thee mine own hands, and send thee home again.

R. Roister.Yea, say'st thou me that, dame? Dost thou me threaten?Go we, I will see whether I shall be beaten.

R. Roister.Yea, say'st thou me that, dame? Dost thou me threaten?

Go we, I will see whether I shall be beaten.

M. Merry.Nay, for the paishe[148]of God, let me now treat peace;For bloodshed will there be, in case this strife increase.Ah, good dame Custance, take better way with you!

M. Merry.Nay, for the paishe[148]of God, let me now treat peace;

For bloodshed will there be, in case this strife increase.

Ah, good dame Custance, take better way with you!

C. Custance.Let him do his worst!

M. Merry.Yield in time.

R. Roister.Come hence, thou![Exeant Roister and Merry.

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 4.

Christian Custance, Annot Alyface, Tibet Talkapace, M. Mumblecrust.

C. Custance.So, sirrah! If I should not with him take this way,I should not be rid of him, I think, till doom's day.I will call forth my folks, that without any mocks,If he come again, we may give him raps and knocks.Madge Mumblecrust, come forth, and Tibet Talkapace;Yea, and come forth too, Mistress Annot Alyface.An. Alyface.I come.Tib. Talk.And I am here.M. Mumbl.And I am here too, at length.C. Custance.Like warriors, if need be, ye must show your strength.The man that this day hath thus beguiled youIs Ralph Roister Doister, whom ye know well enou';The most lout and dastard that ever on ground trod.Tib. Talk.I see all folk mock him, when he goeth abroad.C. Custance.What, pretty maid, will ye talk when I speak?Tib. Talk.No, forsooth, good mistress.C. Custance.Will ye my tale break?He threateneth to come hither with all his force to fight;I charge you, if he come, on him with all your might:M. Mumbl.I with my distaff will reach him one rap.Tib. Talk.And I with my new broom will sweep him one swap;And then with our great club I will reach him one rap.And I with our skimmer will fling him one flap.Tib. Talk.Then Truepenny's fire-fork will him shrewdly fray:And you with the spit may drive him quite away.C. Custance.Go, make all ready, that it may be e'en so.Tib. Talk.For my part, I shrew them that last about it go.[Exeant.

C. Custance.So, sirrah! If I should not with him take this way,

I should not be rid of him, I think, till doom's day.

I will call forth my folks, that without any mocks,

If he come again, we may give him raps and knocks.

Madge Mumblecrust, come forth, and Tibet Talkapace;

Yea, and come forth too, Mistress Annot Alyface.

An. Alyface.I come.

Tib. Talk.And I am here.

M. Mumbl.And I am here too, at length.

C. Custance.Like warriors, if need be, ye must show your strength.The man that this day hath thus beguiled youIs Ralph Roister Doister, whom ye know well enou';The most lout and dastard that ever on ground trod.

C. Custance.Like warriors, if need be, ye must show your strength.

The man that this day hath thus beguiled you

Is Ralph Roister Doister, whom ye know well enou';

The most lout and dastard that ever on ground trod.

Tib. Talk.I see all folk mock him, when he goeth abroad.

C. Custance.What, pretty maid, will ye talk when I speak?

Tib. Talk.No, forsooth, good mistress.

C. Custance.Will ye my tale break?He threateneth to come hither with all his force to fight;I charge you, if he come, on him with all your might:

C. Custance.Will ye my tale break?

He threateneth to come hither with all his force to fight;

I charge you, if he come, on him with all your might:

M. Mumbl.I with my distaff will reach him one rap.

Tib. Talk.And I with my new broom will sweep him one swap;And then with our great club I will reach him one rap.And I with our skimmer will fling him one flap.

Tib. Talk.And I with my new broom will sweep him one swap;

And then with our great club I will reach him one rap.

And I with our skimmer will fling him one flap.

Tib. Talk.Then Truepenny's fire-fork will him shrewdly fray:And you with the spit may drive him quite away.

Tib. Talk.Then Truepenny's fire-fork will him shrewdly fray:

And you with the spit may drive him quite away.

C. Custance.Go, make all ready, that it may be e'en so.

Tib. Talk.For my part, I shrew them that last about it go.[Exeant.

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 5.

Christian Custance, Truepenny, Tristram Trusty.

C. Custance.Truepenny did promise me to run a great pace,My friend Tristram Trusty to fet into this place.Indeed he dwelleth hence a good start, I confess;But yet a quick messenger might twice since, as I guess,Have gone and come again. Ah! yond I spy him now.Truepenny(To T. Trusty). Ye are a slow goer, sir, I make God a vow;My Mistress Custance will in me put all the blame;Your legs be longer than mine: come apace, for shame.C. Custance.I can[149]thee thank, Truepenny; thou hast doneright well.Truepenny.Mistress, since I went, no grass hath grown on my heel:But Master Tristram Trusty here maketh no speed.C. Custance.That he came at all, I thank him in very deed;For now have I need of the help of some wise man.T. Trusty.Then may I be gone again, for none such I am.Truepenny.Ye may be by your going; for no AldermanCan go, I dare say, a sadder[150]pace than ye can.C. Custance.Truepenny, get thee in; thou shalt among them know,How to use thyself like a proper man, I trow.Truepenny.I go.[Exit.C. Custance.Now, Tristram Trusty, I thank you right much:For at my first sending to come ye never grutch.T. Trusty.Dame Custance, God ye save; and while my life shall last,For my friend Goodluck's sake ye shall not send in waste.C. Custance.He shall give you thanks.T. Trusty.I will do much for his sake.C. Custance.But alack! I fear great displeasure shall he take.T. Trusty.Wherefore?C. Custance.For a foolish matter.T. Trusty.What is your cause?C. Custance.I am ill accumbred with a couple of daws.T. Trusty.Nay, weep not, woman; but tell me what your cause is.As concerning my friend is anything amiss?C. Custance.No, not on my part; but here was Sim. Suresby—Trusty.He was with me, and told me so.C. Custance.And he stood by,While Ralph Roister Doister, with help of Merrygreek,For promise of marriage did unto me seek.T. Trusty.And had ye made any promise before them twain?C. Custance.No, I had rather be torn in pieces and slain.No man hath my faith and troth but Gawin Goodluck,And that before Suresby did I say, and there stuckBut of certain letters there were such words spoken—Trusty.He told me that too.C. Custance.And of a ring and token;That Suresby, I spied, did more than half suspect,That I my faith to Gawin Goodluck did reject.T. Trusty.But was there no such matter, Dame Custance, indeed?C. Custance.If ever my head thought it, God send me ill speed!Wherefore, I beseech you, with me to be a witness,That in all my life I never intended thing less.And what a brainsick fool Ralph Roister Doister is,Yourself knows well enough.T. Trusty.Ye say full true, i-wis.C. Custance.Because to be his wife I ne grant nor apply,Hither will he come, he sweareth, by and by,To kill both me and mine, and beat down my house flat;Therefore I pray your aid.T. Trusty.I warrant you that.C. Custance.Have I so many years lived a sober life,And showed myself honest: maid, widow, and wife,And now to be abused in such a vile sort?To see how poor widow live, all void of comfort!T. Trusty.I warrant him do you no harm nor wrong at all.C. Custance.No, but Matthew Merrygreek doth me most appal;That he would join himself with such a wretched lout.T. Trusty.He doth it for a jest, I know him out of doubt.And here cometh Merrygreek?C. Custance.Then shall we hear his mind.

C. Custance.Truepenny did promise me to run a great pace,

My friend Tristram Trusty to fet into this place.

Indeed he dwelleth hence a good start, I confess;

But yet a quick messenger might twice since, as I guess,

Have gone and come again. Ah! yond I spy him now.

Truepenny(To T. Trusty). Ye are a slow goer, sir, I make God a vow;My Mistress Custance will in me put all the blame;Your legs be longer than mine: come apace, for shame.

Truepenny(To T. Trusty). Ye are a slow goer, sir, I make God a vow;

My Mistress Custance will in me put all the blame;

Your legs be longer than mine: come apace, for shame.

C. Custance.I can[149]thee thank, Truepenny; thou hast doneright well.

C. Custance.I can[149]thee thank, Truepenny; thou hast done

right well.

Truepenny.Mistress, since I went, no grass hath grown on my heel:But Master Tristram Trusty here maketh no speed.

Truepenny.Mistress, since I went, no grass hath grown on my heel:

But Master Tristram Trusty here maketh no speed.

C. Custance.That he came at all, I thank him in very deed;For now have I need of the help of some wise man.

C. Custance.That he came at all, I thank him in very deed;

For now have I need of the help of some wise man.

T. Trusty.Then may I be gone again, for none such I am.

Truepenny.Ye may be by your going; for no AldermanCan go, I dare say, a sadder[150]pace than ye can.

Truepenny.Ye may be by your going; for no Alderman

Can go, I dare say, a sadder[150]pace than ye can.

C. Custance.Truepenny, get thee in; thou shalt among them know,How to use thyself like a proper man, I trow.

C. Custance.Truepenny, get thee in; thou shalt among them know,

How to use thyself like a proper man, I trow.

Truepenny.I go.[Exit.

C. Custance.Now, Tristram Trusty, I thank you right much:For at my first sending to come ye never grutch.

C. Custance.Now, Tristram Trusty, I thank you right much:

For at my first sending to come ye never grutch.

T. Trusty.Dame Custance, God ye save; and while my life shall last,For my friend Goodluck's sake ye shall not send in waste.

T. Trusty.Dame Custance, God ye save; and while my life shall last,

For my friend Goodluck's sake ye shall not send in waste.

C. Custance.He shall give you thanks.

T. Trusty.I will do much for his sake.

C. Custance.But alack! I fear great displeasure shall he take.

T. Trusty.Wherefore?

C. Custance.For a foolish matter.

T. Trusty.What is your cause?

C. Custance.I am ill accumbred with a couple of daws.

T. Trusty.Nay, weep not, woman; but tell me what your cause is.As concerning my friend is anything amiss?

T. Trusty.Nay, weep not, woman; but tell me what your cause is.

As concerning my friend is anything amiss?

C. Custance.No, not on my part; but here was Sim. Suresby—

Trusty.He was with me, and told me so.

C. Custance.And he stood by,While Ralph Roister Doister, with help of Merrygreek,For promise of marriage did unto me seek.

C. Custance.And he stood by,

While Ralph Roister Doister, with help of Merrygreek,

For promise of marriage did unto me seek.

T. Trusty.And had ye made any promise before them twain?

C. Custance.No, I had rather be torn in pieces and slain.No man hath my faith and troth but Gawin Goodluck,And that before Suresby did I say, and there stuckBut of certain letters there were such words spoken—

C. Custance.No, I had rather be torn in pieces and slain.

No man hath my faith and troth but Gawin Goodluck,

And that before Suresby did I say, and there stuck

But of certain letters there were such words spoken—

Trusty.He told me that too.

C. Custance.And of a ring and token;That Suresby, I spied, did more than half suspect,That I my faith to Gawin Goodluck did reject.

C. Custance.And of a ring and token;

That Suresby, I spied, did more than half suspect,

That I my faith to Gawin Goodluck did reject.

T. Trusty.But was there no such matter, Dame Custance, indeed?

C. Custance.If ever my head thought it, God send me ill speed!Wherefore, I beseech you, with me to be a witness,That in all my life I never intended thing less.And what a brainsick fool Ralph Roister Doister is,Yourself knows well enough.

C. Custance.If ever my head thought it, God send me ill speed!

Wherefore, I beseech you, with me to be a witness,

That in all my life I never intended thing less.

And what a brainsick fool Ralph Roister Doister is,

Yourself knows well enough.

T. Trusty.Ye say full true, i-wis.

C. Custance.Because to be his wife I ne grant nor apply,Hither will he come, he sweareth, by and by,To kill both me and mine, and beat down my house flat;Therefore I pray your aid.

C. Custance.Because to be his wife I ne grant nor apply,

Hither will he come, he sweareth, by and by,

To kill both me and mine, and beat down my house flat;

Therefore I pray your aid.

T. Trusty.I warrant you that.

C. Custance.Have I so many years lived a sober life,And showed myself honest: maid, widow, and wife,And now to be abused in such a vile sort?To see how poor widow live, all void of comfort!

C. Custance.Have I so many years lived a sober life,

And showed myself honest: maid, widow, and wife,

And now to be abused in such a vile sort?

To see how poor widow live, all void of comfort!

T. Trusty.I warrant him do you no harm nor wrong at all.

C. Custance.No, but Matthew Merrygreek doth me most appal;That he would join himself with such a wretched lout.

C. Custance.No, but Matthew Merrygreek doth me most appal;

That he would join himself with such a wretched lout.

T. Trusty.He doth it for a jest, I know him out of doubt.And here cometh Merrygreek?

T. Trusty.He doth it for a jest, I know him out of doubt.

And here cometh Merrygreek?

C. Custance.Then shall we hear his mind.

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 6.

Merrygreek, Christian Custance, Trist. Trusty.

M. Merry.Custance and Trusty both, I do you here well find.C. Custance.Ah! Matthew Merrygreek, ye have used me well!M. Merry.Now, for altogether,[151]ye must your answer tell.Will ye have this man, woman, or else will ye not?Else will he come, never boar so brim,[152]nor toast so hot.C. Custance.But why join ye with him?T. Trusty.For mirth?C. Custance.Or else in sadness?M. Merry.The more fond of you both: hardily the matter guess.T. Trusty.Lo, how say ye, dame?M. Merry.Why, do ye think, dame Custance,That in this wooing I have meant ought but pastance?C. Custance.Much things ye spake, I wot, to maintain his dotage.M. Merry.But well might ye judge, I spake it all in mockage;For why is Roister Doister a fit husband for you?T. Trusty.I dare say ye never thought it.M. Merry.No, to God I vow.And did not I know afore of the insuranceBetween Gawin Goodluck and Christian Custance?And did not I for the nonce, by my conveyance,Read his letter in a wrong sense for dalliance?That if you could have take it up at the first bound,We should thereat such a sport and pastime have found,That all the whole town should have been the merrier.C. Custance.Ill ache your heads both! I was never wearier,Nor never more vexed since the first day I was born.T. Trusty.But very well I wist, he here did all in scorn.C. Custance.But I feared thereof to take dishonesty.M. Merry.This should both have made sport, and showed your honesty;And Goodluck, I dare swear, your wit therein would 'low.[153]T. Trusty.Yea, being no worse than we know it to be now.M. Merry.And nothing yet too late: for, when I come to him,Hither will he repair with a sheep's look full grim,By plain force and violence to drive you to yield.C. Custance.If ye two bid me, we will with him pitch a field,I and my maids together.M. Merry.Let us see; be bold!C. Custance.Ye shall see women's war.T. Trusty.That fight will I behold.M. Merry.If occasion serve, taking his part full brim,I will strike at you, but the rap shall light on him.When we first appear—Custance.Then will I run away,As though I were afeard.T. Trusty.Do you that part well play,And I will sue for peace.M. Merry.And I will set him on;Then will he look as fierce as a Cotsold lion.[154]T. Trusty.But when goest thou for him?M. Merry.That do I very now.C. Custance.Ye shall find us here.M. Merry.Well, God have mercy on you.[Exit.T. Trusty.There is no cause of fear; the least boy in the street—C. Custance.Nay, the least girl I have, will make him take his feet.But, hark! me-think they make preparation.T. Trusty.No force, it will be a good recreation.C. Custance.I will stand within, and step forth speedily,And so make as though I ran away dreadfully.

M. Merry.Custance and Trusty both, I do you here well find.

C. Custance.Ah! Matthew Merrygreek, ye have used me well!

M. Merry.Now, for altogether,[151]ye must your answer tell.Will ye have this man, woman, or else will ye not?Else will he come, never boar so brim,[152]nor toast so hot.

M. Merry.Now, for altogether,[151]ye must your answer tell.

Will ye have this man, woman, or else will ye not?

Else will he come, never boar so brim,[152]nor toast so hot.

C. Custance.But why join ye with him?

T. Trusty.For mirth?

C. Custance.Or else in sadness?

M. Merry.The more fond of you both: hardily the matter guess.

T. Trusty.Lo, how say ye, dame?

M. Merry.Why, do ye think, dame Custance,That in this wooing I have meant ought but pastance?

M. Merry.Why, do ye think, dame Custance,

That in this wooing I have meant ought but pastance?

C. Custance.Much things ye spake, I wot, to maintain his dotage.

M. Merry.But well might ye judge, I spake it all in mockage;For why is Roister Doister a fit husband for you?

M. Merry.But well might ye judge, I spake it all in mockage;

For why is Roister Doister a fit husband for you?

T. Trusty.I dare say ye never thought it.

M. Merry.No, to God I vow.And did not I know afore of the insuranceBetween Gawin Goodluck and Christian Custance?And did not I for the nonce, by my conveyance,Read his letter in a wrong sense for dalliance?That if you could have take it up at the first bound,We should thereat such a sport and pastime have found,That all the whole town should have been the merrier.

M. Merry.No, to God I vow.

And did not I know afore of the insurance

Between Gawin Goodluck and Christian Custance?

And did not I for the nonce, by my conveyance,

Read his letter in a wrong sense for dalliance?

That if you could have take it up at the first bound,

We should thereat such a sport and pastime have found,

That all the whole town should have been the merrier.

C. Custance.Ill ache your heads both! I was never wearier,Nor never more vexed since the first day I was born.

C. Custance.Ill ache your heads both! I was never wearier,

Nor never more vexed since the first day I was born.

T. Trusty.But very well I wist, he here did all in scorn.

C. Custance.But I feared thereof to take dishonesty.

M. Merry.This should both have made sport, and showed your honesty;And Goodluck, I dare swear, your wit therein would 'low.[153]

M. Merry.This should both have made sport, and showed your honesty;

And Goodluck, I dare swear, your wit therein would 'low.[153]

T. Trusty.Yea, being no worse than we know it to be now.

M. Merry.And nothing yet too late: for, when I come to him,Hither will he repair with a sheep's look full grim,By plain force and violence to drive you to yield.

M. Merry.And nothing yet too late: for, when I come to him,

Hither will he repair with a sheep's look full grim,

By plain force and violence to drive you to yield.

C. Custance.If ye two bid me, we will with him pitch a field,I and my maids together.

C. Custance.If ye two bid me, we will with him pitch a field,

I and my maids together.

M. Merry.Let us see; be bold!

C. Custance.Ye shall see women's war.

T. Trusty.That fight will I behold.

M. Merry.If occasion serve, taking his part full brim,I will strike at you, but the rap shall light on him.When we first appear—

M. Merry.If occasion serve, taking his part full brim,

I will strike at you, but the rap shall light on him.

When we first appear—

Custance.Then will I run away,As though I were afeard.

Custance.Then will I run away,

As though I were afeard.

T. Trusty.Do you that part well play,And I will sue for peace.

T. Trusty.Do you that part well play,

And I will sue for peace.

M. Merry.And I will set him on;Then will he look as fierce as a Cotsold lion.[154]

M. Merry.And I will set him on;

Then will he look as fierce as a Cotsold lion.[154]

T. Trusty.But when goest thou for him?

M. Merry.That do I very now.

C. Custance.Ye shall find us here.

M. Merry.Well, God have mercy on you.[Exit.

T. Trusty.There is no cause of fear; the least boy in the street—

C. Custance.Nay, the least girl I have, will make him take his feet.But, hark! me-think they make preparation.

C. Custance.Nay, the least girl I have, will make him take his feet.

But, hark! me-think they make preparation.

T. Trusty.No force, it will be a good recreation.

C. Custance.I will stand within, and step forth speedily,And so make as though I ran away dreadfully.

C. Custance.I will stand within, and step forth speedily,

And so make as though I ran away dreadfully.

ACTUS IV., SCÆNA 7.

R. Roister, M. Merrygreek, C. Custance, D. Doughty, Harpax, Tristram Trusty.

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