O Vertue! Vertue! What art thou become?That men should leave thee for that Toy a woman,Made from the dross and refuse of a Man;Heaven took him sleeping when he made her too,Had Man been waking he had nee'r consented.
O Vertue! Vertue! What art thou become?
That men should leave thee for that Toy a woman,
Made from the dross and refuse of a Man;
Heaven took him sleeping when he made her too,
Had Man been waking he had nee'r consented.
I did not know before that a Man's Dross lay in hisRibs; I believe sometimes it lies Higher. But the Philosophy, the Religion, and the Ceremony of these Lines, are too tender to be touched.Creona Prince inOedipus,Oedip. p. 3.[337]railes in General at theSex, and at the same time is violently in Love withEuridice. This upon the Matter, is just as natural, as 'tis Civil. If any one would understand what theCurse of all tender hearted Women is, Belmourwill inform him. What is it then?'Tis thePox.Old Batch. p. 41.[338]If this be true, the Women had need lay in a stock of ill Nature betimes. It seems 'tis their only preservative. It guards their Virtue, and their Health, and is all they have to trust to.Sharperanother Man of Sense in thisPlay, talks much at the same rate.Belindawould know of himwhere he got that excellent Talent of Railing?
Sharp.Madam the Talent was Born with me.——I confess I have taken care to improve it, to qualifie me for the Society of Ladies.p. 35.[339]Horner, a ToppingCharacterin theCountry Wife, is advised toavoid Women, and hate them as they do him.He Answers.
Because I do hate them, and would hate them yet more, I'll frequent e'm; you may see by Marriage, nothing makes a Man hate a Woman more than her Constant Conversation.p. 22.Don. Sebast. p. 5.[340]There is still something more Coarse upon theSexspoken byDorax[341]but it is a privileged Expression, and as such I must leave it. TheRelapsemends the Contrivance of the Satir, refines upon the Manner, and to make the Discourse the more probable, obliges the Ladies to abuse themselves. And because I should be loath to tire theReader, Berenthiashall close the Argument. This Lady havingundertook the Employment of aProcuress, makes this remark upon it to her self.
Berinth.So here is fine work! But there was no avoiding it.——Besides, I begin to Fancy there may be as much Pleasure in carrying on another Bodies Intrigue, as ones own. This is at least certain, It exercises almost all the Entertaining Faculties of a Woman. For there is Employment for Hypocrisie, Invention, Deceit, Flattery, Mischief, and Lying.
Let us now see what Quarter theStagegives toQuality. And here we shall find them extreamly free, and familiar. They dress up theLordsin Nick Names, and expose them inCharactersof Contempt.Lord Frothis explain'd aSolemn Coxcomb;Double Dealer. Person. Dram.Relapse.Provok'd Wife.p. 4. p. 2.[342]AndLord Rake, andLord Foplingtongive you their Talent in their Title.[343]LordPlausiblein thePlain DealerActs a ridiculous Part, but is with all very civil. He tellsManly he never attempted to abuse any Person, The other answers;What? you were afraid?[344]Manlygoes on and declaresHe would call a Rascal by no other Title, tho' his Father had left him a Dukes.[345]That is, he would call a Duke a Rascal. This I confess is very muchPlain Dealing. Such Freedoms would appear but odly in Life, especially without Provocation. I must own thePoetto be an Author ofgood Sense; But under favour, these jests, if we may call them so, are somewhat high Season'd, the Humour seems overstrain'd, and theCharacterpush'd too far. To proceed.Mustaphawas sellingDon Alvarezfor a Slave. The Merchant askswhat Virtues he has.Don Sebast. p. 16.[346]Mustaphareplies.Virtues quoth ah! He is of a great Family and Rich, what other Virtues would'st thou have in a Nobleman?DonCarlosinLove Triumphantstands for a Gentleman, and a Man of Sense, and out-throwsMustaphaa Bars Length. He tells usNature has givenSanchoan empty Noddle, but Fortune in revenge has fill'd his Pockets: just a Lords Estate in Land and Wit.p. 17.[347]This is a handsom Compliment to the Nobility! And my LordSalisburyhad no doubt of it a good Bargain of theDedication.Don. Quix. part. 2. p. 37.[348]Teresa'sgeneral Description of a Countess is considerable in its Kind: But only 'tis in no Condition to appear. In theRelapse, SirTunbellywho had Mistaken YoungFashionfor LordFoplington, was afterwards undeceiv'd; and before the surprize was quite over, puts the Question,is it then possible that this should be the true LordFoplingtonat Last? The Nobleman removes the scruple with great Civility and Discretion!LordFopl.Why what do you see in his Face to make you doubt ofit? Sir without presuming to have an extraordinary Opinion of my Figure, give me leave to tell you, if you had seen as many Lords as I have done you would not think it Impossible A Person of a worse Taille then mine might be a Modern Man of Quality.Relapse. p. 84.[349]
I'm sorry to hearModern Qualitydegenerates so much. But by the way, these Liberties are altogether new. They are unpractised by the LatinComedians, and by theEnglishtoo till very lately, as thePlain Dealerobserves.p. 24.L'Ombre de Moliere[350]And as forMoliereinFrance, he pretends to fly his Satir no higher than a Marquis.[351]
And has ourStagea particular Privilege? Is theirCharterinlarg'd, and are they on the same Foot of Freedom with theSlavesin theSaturnalia? Must all Men be handled alike? Must their Roughness be needs play'd upon Title? And can't they lash the Vice without pointing upon theQuality? If as Mr.Drydenrightly defines it, aPlay ought to be a just Image of Humane Nature;Essay Dram. poet. p. 5.[352]Why are not the Decencies of Life, and, the Respects of Conversation observ'd? Why must the Customes of Countries be Cross'd upon, and the Regards of Honour overlook'd? What necessity is there to kick theCoronetsabout theStage, and to make a Man a Lord, only in order tomake him a Coxcomb. I hope thePoetsdon't intend to revive the old Project of Levelling andVotedown the House ofPeers. In earnest, thePlay-houseis an admirable School of Behaviour! This is their way of managing Ceremony, distinguishing Degree, and Entertaining theBoxes! But I shall leave them at present to the Enjoyment of their Talent, and proceed to another Argument.
The followingPlays, excepting the Last, will fall under the same Heads of Commendation with the Former. However, since thePoetshave here been prodigal in their Expence, and dress'd themselves with more Curiosity then ordinary, they deserve a proportionable Regard. So much Finery must not be Crowded. I shall therefore make Elbow-Room for their Figure, and allow them the Compass of a distinct Chapter.
To begin withAmphytrion. In thisPlayMr.DrydenrepresentsJupiterwith the Attributes of the supream Being: He furnishes him with Omnipotence, makes him the Creator of Nature, and the Arbiter of Fate, puts all the Functions of Providence in his Hand, and describes him with the Majesty of the true God.Amphit. p. 1, 2, 3, 8, 9.[353]And when he has put Him in this gloriousEquipage, he brings him out for Diversion. He makes him express himself in the most intemperate Raptures:p. 8. 17.[354]He is willing toRenouncehisHeavenfor his Brutality, and employ a wholeEternityin Lewdness. He draws his Debauch at its full Length, with all the Art, and Heightings, and Foulness of Idea immaginable. ThisJupiteris not contented with his success againstAmphitrion, unless he bringsAlcmenainto the Confederacy, and makes her a Partyex post Facto. He would not have her think of herHusband, but herLover, that is, herWhoremaster. 'Tis not the success, but the manner of gaining it which is all in all. 'Tis the Vice which is the charming Circumstance. Innocence and Regularity, are dangerous Companions; They spoil Satisfaction, and make every Thing insipid! Unless People take care to discharge their Virtue, and clear off their Conscience, their Senses will vanish immediately! ForJupiter, says he,p. 18.[355]wouldowe nothing to a Name so dull as Husband. And in the next Page.
That very name of Wife And MarriageIs poyson to the dearest sweets of Love.19.[356]
That very name of Wife And Marriage
Is poyson to the dearest sweets of Love.19.[356]
I would give theReadersome more of these fine Sentences, but that they aretoo much out of Order to appear. The truth is, OurStage-Poetsseem to fence against Censure by the excess of Lewdness; And to make the overgrown size of a Crime, a Ground for Impunity. As if a Malefactor should project his Escape by appearing too scandalous for Publick Tryal. However, This is their Armour of Proof, this is the Strength they retreat to. They are fortified in Smut, and almost impregnable in Stench, so that where they deserve most, there's no coming at them. To proceed. I desire to know what Authority Mr.Drydenhas for this extraordinary Representation? His OriginalPlautus, is no President. IndeedPlautusis the only bold Heathen that ever madeJupitertread theStage. But then he stops far short of the Liberties of theEnglish Amphitrion. JupiteratRome, andLondon, have the same unaccountable Design; but the Methods of pursuit are very different. The First, does not solicit in scandalous Language, nor flourish upon his Lewdness, nor endeavours to set it up for the Fashion.Plautushad some regard to the Height of the Character, and the Opinion of his Country, and the Restraints of Modesty. The Sallies ofAristophanesdo not come up to the case; And if they did, I have cut off the Succours from thatQuarter already.Terence's Chærea. is the next bold Man:Eunuch.[357]However, here the Fable ofJupiterandDanaeare just glanced at, and the Expression is clean; and He that tells the Story, a Young Libertine. These are all circumstances of extenuation, and give quite another Complexion to the Thing. As for theGreek TragediansandSeneca, there's no Prescription can be drawn from them. They mentionJupiterin Terms of Magnificence and Respect, and make his Actions, and his Nature of a piece. But it may be the CelebratedHomer, andVirgilmay give Mr.Drydensome Countenance. Not at all.Virgil's Jupiteris alwaies great, and solemn, and keeps up the port of a Deity. 'Tis true,Homerdoes not guard the Idea with that exactness, but then He never sinks the Character into Obscenity. The most exceptionable passage is that whereJupiterrelates his Love Adventures toJuno. Here this pretended Deity is charm'd withVenus's Girdle, is in the height of his Courtship, and under the Ascendant of his Passion. This 'tis confess'd was a slippery Place, and yet the Poet makes a shift to keep his Feet. HisJupiteris Little, but not nauseous; The Story, tho' improper, will bear the telling, and look Conversation in the Face. However; TheseFreedoms ofHomerwere counted intolerable: I shall not insist on the Censures ofJustin Martyr, orClemens Alexandrinus: Even the Heathen could not endure them. The Poets are lashed byPlatoupon this Score; For planting Vice in Heaven, and making their Gods infectious; If Mr.Drydenanswers thatJupitercan do us no Harm.Euseb. præpar. Evang.[358]He is known to be an Idol of Lewd Memory, and therefore his Example can have no Force: Under Favour this is a mistake: For won't Pitch daub when a dirty Hand throws it; or can't a Toad spit Poyson because she's ugly? Ribaldry is dangerous under any Circumstances of Representation. And asMenanderand St.Paulexpress it,Evil Communications corrupt good Manners. I mention them both, because if theApostleshould be dislik'd, theComedianmay pass. But after all, Mr.Drydenhas not so much as a Heathen President for his Singularities. What then made him fall into them? Was it the Decency of the Thing, and the Propriety ofCharacter, and Behaviour? By no means. For as I have observ'd before, Nature and Operations, ought to be proportion'd, and Behaviour suited to the Dignity of Being. To draw a Monkey in Royal Robes, and a Prince inAntick, would be Farce uponColours, entertain like a Monster, and please only upon the score of Deformity. Why then does Mr.Drydencross upon Nature and Authority, and go off as he Confesses, from the Plan ofPlautus, andMoliere? Tho' by the way, the EnglishAmphitryonhas borrow'd most of the Libertine Thoughts ofMoliere, and improv'd them. But to the former question. Why must the beaten Road be left? He tells us,That the difference of ourStagefrom the Roman and the French did so require it.Ep. Ded.[359]That is, ourStagemust be much more Licentious. For you are to observe that Mr.Dryden, and his Fraternity, have help'd to debauch theTown, and Poyson their Pleasures to an unusal Degree: And therefore the Diet must be dress'd to the Palate of theCompany. And since they are madeScepticks, they must be entertain'd as such. That the EnglishAmphitryonwas contriv'd with this View is too plain to be better interpreted. To what purpose else doesJupiterappear in the shape ofJehovah? Why are the incommunicableAttributesburlesqu'd, and Omnipotence applyed to Acts of Infamy? To what end can such Horrible stuff as this serve, unless to expose the Notion, and extinguish the Belief of a Deity? The Perfections of God, are Himself. Toridicule his Attributes and his Being, are but two words for the same Thing. These Attributes are bestow'd onJupiterwith great Prodigality, and afterwards execrably outrag'd. The Case being thus, the Cover of an Idol, istoothin a pretence to Screen the Blasphemy. Nothing but Mr.Dryden's AbsolomandAchitophelcan out-do This. Here I confess the Motion of his Pen is bolder, and the Strokes more Black'd. Here we have Blasphemy on the top of the Letter, without any trouble of Inference, or Construction. This Poem runs all upon Scripture Names, Upon Suppositions of the true Religion, and the right Object of Worship. Here Profaness is shut out from Defence, and lies open without Colour or Evasion. Here are no Pagan Divinities in the Scheme, so that all the Atheistick Raillery must point upon the true God. In the beginning we are told thatAbsalomwasDavid'sNatural Son: So then there's a blot in hisScutcheonand a Blemish upon his Birth. ThePoetwill make admirable use of this, remark presently! ThisAbsalomit seems was very extraordinary in his Person and Performances. Mr.Drydendoes not certainly know how this came about, and therefore enquires of himself in the first place,
Whether inspired with a diviner Lust,His Father got him——p. 1.[360]
Whether inspired with a diviner Lust,
His Father got him——p. 1.[360]
This is down right Defiance of the Living God! Here you have the very Essence and Spirit of Blasphemy, and the Holy Ghost brought in upon the most hideous Occasion. I question whether the Torments and Despair of the Damn'd, dare venture at such Flights as these. They are beyond Description, I Pray God they may not be beyond Pardon too. I can't forbear saying, that the next bad Thing to the writing these Impieties, is to Suffer them. To return toAmphitryon.PhœbusandMercuryhaveMannersassign'd very disagreeable to their Condition. The later abating Propriety of Language, talks more like aWater-manthan a Deity. They rail against the Gods, and callMarsandVulcanthetwo Fools of Heaven. Mercuryis pert upon his FatherJupiter, makes jests upon his Pleasures, and his Greatness, and is horribly smutty and profane.p. 3, 16, etc.[361]And all this Misbehaviour comes from him in his own shape, and in the sublimity of his Character. Had He run Riot in the Disguise ofSofia, the Discourse and the Person had been better adjusted, and the Extravagance more Pardonable.But here the Decorum is quite lost. To see theImmortalsplay such Gambols, and the biggest Beings do the least Actions, is strangely unnatural. An Emperour in the Grimaces of an Ape, or the Diversions of a Kitten, would not be half so ridiculous. Now as MonsieurRapinobserves, without Decorum there can be noprobability, nor without Probability any true Beauty. Nature must be minded, otherwise Things will look forced, tawdry, and chimerical. Mr.Drydendiscourses very handsomly on this occasion in hisPrefacetoAlbionandAlbanius.p. 1.[362]He informs us,That Wit has been truly defin'd a propriety of Words and Thoughts.——That Propriety of Thought is that Fancy which arises naturally from the Subject.Why then without doubt, the Quality, of Characters should be taken care of, and great Persons appear like themselves. Yes, yes, all this is granted by implication, and Mr.Drydencomes still nearer to the present case. He tells us, thatPropriety is to be observed, even in Machines; And that the Gods are all to manage their Peculiar Provinces. He instances in some of their respective Employments; but I don't find that any of them were to talk Lewdly. No. He plainly supposes the contrary. For as he goes on,If they were to speak uponthe Stage it would follow of necessity, that the Expressions should be Lofty, Figurative, and Majestical. It seems then their Behaviour should be agreeable to their Greatness. Why then are not these Rules observ'd, in theMachinesofAmphitrion?AsI take it, Obscenity has not the Air of Majesty, nor any Alliance with theSublime. And as for theFigurativePart, 'tis generally of the same Cut with theLofty: The Smut shines clear, and strong, through the Metaphor, and is no better screen'd than the Sun by a Glass Window. To useMercurythus ill, and make the God of Eloquence speak so unlike himself is somewhat strange! But tho' theAntientsknew nothing of it, there are Considerations above those ofDecency. And when this happens,A Rule must rather be trespass'd on, than a Beauty left out. 'Tis Mr.Dryden'sopinion in hisCleomenes, where he breaks theUnity of Time, to describe theBeautyof a Famine.Pref.[363]Now Beauty is an arbitrary Advantage, and depends upon Custom and Fancy. With some People the Blackest Complexions are the handsomest. 'Tis to theseAfricanCriticks that Mr.Drydenseems to make his Appeal. And without doubt he bespeaks their Favour, and strikes their Imagination luckily enough. For to lodge Divinity and Scandal together; To makethe Gods throwStars, likeSnow-ballsat one another, but especially to Court in Smut, and rally in Blasphemy, is most admirably entertaining! This is much better than all the Niceties ofDecorum. 'Tis handsomly contriv'd to slur the Notion of a Superiour Nature, to disarm the Terrors of Religion, and make the Court Above as Romantick as that of theFairies. A Libertine when his Conscience is thus reliev'd, and Atheism sits easie upon his Spirits, can't help being grateful upon the Occasion. Meer Interest will oblige him to cry up the Performance, and solicit for thePoetsReputation! Before I take leave of theseMachines, it may not be amiss to enquire why the Gods are brought into theSpiritual Court.p. 1.[364]Now I suppose the Creditableness of the Business, and thePoetsKindness to thosePlaces, are the principal Reasons of their coming. However. He might have a farther Design in his Head, and that is, to bringThebestoLondon, and to show the Antiquity ofDoctors Commons. For if you will believeMercury, this Conference between him andPhœbuswas held three thousand years ago.19.[365]ThusShakespearmakesHectortalk aboutAristotlesPhilosophy,Troil. and Cressid.The Hist. of Sr. John Old Castle.[366]and calls Sr.John Old Castle,Protestant.[367]I had not mention'd this Discovery in Chronology,but that Mr.Drydenfalls uponBen Johnson, for makingCataline give Fire at the Face of a Cloud, before Guns were invented.
By the Pattern of these pretendedDeities, we may guess what sort ofMortalswe are likely to meet with. Neither are we mistaken. ForPhædra, is bad enough in all Conscience, butBromiais a meer Original. Indeed when Mr.DrydenmakesJupiter, andJupitermakes the Women, little less can be expected. So much forAmphitrion.
I shall pass on toKing Arthurfor a word or two.King Arthur.[368]Now here is a strange jumble and Hotch potch of Matters, if you mind it. Here we haveGenii, andAngels,Cupids,Syrens, andDevils;Venusand St.George,Panand theParson, the Hell of Heathenism, and the Hell ofRevelation; A fit of Smut, and then a Jest about Original Sin. And why are Truth and Fiction, Heathenism and Christianity, the most Serious and the most Trifling Things blended together, and thrown into one Form of Diversion? Why is all this done unless it be to ridicule the whole, and make one as incredible as the other? HisAiryandEarthy Spiritsdiscourse of the first state of Devils, of theirChiefof their Revolt, their Punishment, andImpostures. This Mr.Drydenvery Religiously calls aFairy way of Writing, which depends only on the Force of Imagination.Ep. Ded.[369]What then is the Fall of the Angels a Romance? Has it no basis of Truth, nothing to support it, but strength of Fancy, and Poetick Invention? After He had mention'd Hell, Devils,&c. and given us a sort ofBibledescription of these formidable Things; I say after he had formed his Poem in this manner, I am surprized to hear him call it aFairy kind of Writing. Is the History ofTophetno better prov'd than that ofStyx? Is the Lake ofBrimstoneand that ofPhlegetonalike dreadful? And have we as much Reason to believe the Torments ofTitiusandPrometheus, as those of the Devils and Damn'd? These are lamentable Consequences! And yet I can't well see how thePoetcan avoid them. But setting aside this miserable Gloss in theDedication, the Representation it self is scandalously irreligious. To droll upon the Vengeance of Heaven, and the Miseries of the Damn'd, is a sad Instance of Christianity! Those that bring Devils upon theStage, can hardly believe them any where else. Besides, the Effects of such an Entertainment must needs be admirable! To see Hell thus play'd with is a mighty Refreshment to a lewdConscience, and a byass'd Understanding. It heartens the Young Libertine, and confirms the well-wishers to Atheism, and makes Vice bold, and enterprising. Such Diversions serve to dispel the Gloom, and guild the Horrors of theShades below, and are a sort of Ensurance against Damnation. One would think thesePoetswent upon absolute Certainty, and could demonstrate a Scheme of Infidelity. If they could, They had much better keep the Secret. The divulging it tends only to debauch Mankind, and shake the Securities of Civil Life. However, if they have been in the other World and find it empty, and uninhabited, and are acquainted with all the Powers, and Places, in Being; If they can show the Impostures of Religion, and the Contradictions of Common Belief, they have something to say for themselves. Have they then infallible Proof and Mathematick Evidence for these Discoveries? No Man had ever the Confidence to say This; And if He should, he would be but laughed at for his Folly. No Conclusions can exceed the Evidence of their Principles; you may as well build a Castle in the Air, as raise a Demonstration upon a Bottom of Uncertainty. And is any Man so vain as to pretend to know the Extent of Nature, and the Stretch of Possibility,and the Force of the Powers Invisible? So that notwithstanding the Boldness of thisOpera, there may be such a Place as Hell; And if so, a Discourse about Devils, will be noFairy way of Writing. For aFairy way of Writing, is nothing but aHistory of Fiction; A subject of Imaginary Beings; such as never had any existence in Time, or Nature. And if as MonsieurRapinobserves,Poetryrequires a mixture of Truth andFable; Mr.Drydenmay make his advantage, for hisPlayis much better founded on Reality than He was aware of.
It may not be improper to consider in a word or two, what a frightfull Idea theHoly Scripturesgive us of Hell. 'Tis describ'd by all theCircumstancesof Terror, by every Thing dreadful to Sense, and amazing to Thought. The Place, the Company, the Duration, are all Considerations of Astonishment. And why has God given us this solemn warning? Is it not to awaken our Fears, and guard our Happiness; To restrain the Disorders of Appetite, and to keep us within Reason, and Duty? And as for theApostate Angels, theScripturesinform us of their lost Condition, of their Malice and Power, of their active Industry and Experience; and all these QualitiesCorrespondent to the Bulk of their Nature, the Antiquity of their Being, and the Misery of their State. In short, They are painted in all the formidable Appearances imaginable, to alarm our Caution, and put us upon the utmost Defence.
Let us see now how Mr.Drydenrepresents these unhappy Spirits, and their Place of Abode. Why very entertainingly! Those that have a true Tast for Atheism were never better regaled. One would think by thisPlaythe Devils were meer Mormo's and Bugbears, fit only to fright Children and Fools. They rally upon Hell and Damnation, with a great deal of Air and Pleasantry; and appear likeRobin Good-fellow, only to make the Company laugh.Philidel: Is call'd aPuling Sprite. And why so? For this pious reason, because
He trembles at the yawning Gulph of Hell,Nor dares approach the Flames least he should SingeHis gaudy silken Wings.He sighs when he should plunge a Soul in Sulphur,As with Compassion touch'd of Foolish Man.p. 6.[370]
He trembles at the yawning Gulph of Hell,
Nor dares approach the Flames least he should Singe
His gaudy silken Wings.
He sighs when he should plunge a Soul in Sulphur,
As with Compassion touch'd of Foolish Man.p. 6.[370]
The answer is,What a half Devil's he.
You see how admirably it runs all upon the Christian Scheme! Sometimes they areHalf-Devils, and sometimesHopeful-Devils, and what you please to make sport with.Grimbaldis afraid of beingwhooped through Hell at his return, for miscarrying in his Business. It seems there is great Leisure for Diversion! There'sWhoopingin Hell, instead ofWeepingandWailing! One would fancy Mr.Drydenhad Daylight and Company, when these Lines were written. I know his Courage is extraordinary; But sure such Thoughts could never bear up against Solitude and a Candle!
And now since he has diverted himself with theTerrorsofChristianity, I dont wonder he, should treat those that Preach them with so much Civility! enterPoetin the Habit of aPeasant.
We ha' cheated the Parson we'el cheat him again,For why should a Blockhead have one in ten?For prating so long like a Booklearned Sot,Till Pudding, and Dumpling burn to pot.
We ha' cheated the Parson we'el cheat him again,
For why should a Blockhead have one in ten?
For prating so long like a Booklearned Sot,
Till Pudding, and Dumpling burn to pot.
These are fine comprehensive stroaks! Here you have theIliadsin a Nutshell! Two or three courtly words take in the whole Clergy; And what is wanting inWit, is made up in Abuse, and that's as well. This is an admirableHarvest Catch, and the poor Tith-stealers stand highly indebted. They might have been tired with Cheating inProse, had not they not been thus seasonably releiv'd in Doggrell! But now there is Musick in playing the Knave. A Countryman now may fill his Barn, and humour his ill Manners, and sing his Conscience asleep, and all under one. I dont question but thesefour Linessteal many a Pound in the year. Whether theMusestands indictable or not, the Law must determine: But after all, I must say the Design is notably laid. For Place and Person, for Relish and Convenience; nothing could have been better. The Method is very short, clear, and Practicable. 'Tis a fine portable Infection, and costs no more Carriage than the Plague.
Well! the Clergy must be contented: It might possibly have been worse for them if they had been in his favour: For he has sometimes a very unlucky way of showing his Kindness. He commends theEarl of Leicester for considering the Friend, more than the Cause;Ep. Ded. Don Sebast.[371]that is, for his Partiality; The Marquess ofHalifaxforquitting the Helm, at the approach of a Storm;Ded. King Arthur.[372]As if Pilots were made only for fairWeather. 'Tis Presum'd these Noble Persons are unconcern'd in this Character. However thePoethas shown his skill in Panegyrick, and 'tis only for that I mention it. He commendsAtticusfor his Trimming, andTallyfor his Cowardize, and speaks meanly of the Bravery ofCato.Sebast. K. Arth.Ibid.[373]Afterwards he professes his Zeal for the Publick welfare, and is pleas'd tosee the Nation so well secur'd from Foreign Attempts&c.[374]However he is in some pain about the Coming of theGauls; 'Tis possible for fear they should invade theMuses, and carry theOpera'sinto Captivity, and deprive us ofthe Ornaments of Peace.
And now He has serv'd his Friends, he comes in the last place like a modest Man, to commend Himself. He tells us there were a great manyBeautiesin the Original Draught of thisPlay. But it seems Time has since tarnish'd their Complexion. And He givesHeroickReasons for their not appearing. To speak Truth, (all Politicks apart,) there are strange Flights of Honour, and Consistencies of Pretention in this Dedication! But I shall forbear the Blazon of theAtcheivment, for fear I should commend as unluckily as Himself.
Mr.Durfeybeing somewhat particular in his Genius and Civilities, I shall consider him in a word or two by himself. This Poet writes from theRomanceof an ingenious Author: By this means his Sense, andCharactersare cut out to his Hand. He has wisely planted himself upon the shoulders of aGiant; but whether his Discoveries answer the advantage of his standing, the Reader must judge.
What I have to object against Mr.Durfeyshall most of it be ranged under these three Heads.
I.His Profaness with respect to Religion and theHoly Scriptures.
II.His Abuse of the Clergy.
III.His want of Modesty and Regard to the Audience.
I.His Profaness, &c.
And here my first Instance shall be in a boldSongagainst Providence.
Providence that formed the FairIn such a charming Skin,Their Outside made his only care,And never look'd within.Part 1st. p. 20.[375]
Providence that formed the Fair
In such a charming Skin,
Their Outside made his only care,
And never look'd within.Part 1st. p. 20.[375]
Here thePoettells you Providence makes Mankind by halves, huddles up the Soul, and takes the least care of the better Moyety. This is direct blaspheming the Creation, and a Satir upon God Almighty. His next advance is to droll upon the Resurrection.
Sleep and indulge thy self with Rest,Nor dream thou e're shalt rise again.p. 20.[376]
Sleep and indulge thy self with Rest,
Nor dream thou e're shalt rise again.p. 20.[376]
His Third Song makes a jest of theFall, rails uponAdamandEve, and burlesques the Conduct ofGod Almightyfor not making Mankind over again.
When the World first knew Creation,p. 37.[377]A Rogue was a Top-Profession,When there was no more in all Nature but Four,There were two of them in Transgression.He that first to mend the Matter,Made Laws to bind our Nature,Should have found a way,To make Wills obey,And have Modell'd new the Creature.
When the World first knew Creation,p. 37.[377]
A Rogue was a Top-Profession,
When there was no more in all Nature but Four,
There were two of them in Transgression.
He that first to mend the Matter,
Made Laws to bind our Nature,
Should have found a way,
To make Wills obey,
And have Modell'd new the Creature.
In this and the following page, theRedemptionof the World is treated with the same respect with theCreation. The wordRedeemer, which among Christians is appropriated to our Blessed Saviour, and like the Jewish Tetragrammaton peculiarly reserv'd to the Deity; This adorable Name (Redeemer and Dear Redeemer,) is applyed to the ridiculous DonQuixote. These Insolencies are too big for the Correction of a Pen, and therefore I shall leave them. After this horrible abuse of the Works, and Attributes of God, he goes on to make sport with his Vengeance. He makes the Torments of Hell a very Comical Entertainment: As if they were only Flames in Painting, and Terrors inRomance. TheStygian FrogsinAristophanesare not represented with more Levity, and Drolling. That theReadermay see I do him no wrong, I shall quote the places which is the main Reason why I have transcrib'd the rest of his Profaness.
Appear ye fat Feinds that in Limbo do groan,That were when in Flesh the same souls with his own:You that always in Lucifers Kitchin reside,'Mongst Sea-coal and Kettles, and Grease newly try'd:That pamper'd each day with a Garbidge of Souls,Broil Rashers of Fools for a Breakfast on Coals.
Appear ye fat Feinds that in Limbo do groan,
That were when in Flesh the same souls with his own:
You that always in Lucifers Kitchin reside,
'Mongst Sea-coal and Kettles, and Grease newly try'd:
That pamper'd each day with a Garbidge of Souls,
Broil Rashers of Fools for a Breakfast on Coals.
In the Epilogue you have the History ofBalaam's Ass exposed, and the Beast brought upon theStageto laugh at the Miracle the better;
And as 'tis said a parlous Ass once spoke,When Crab-tree Cudgel did his rage provoke.So if you are not civil,——I fearHe'el speak again.——
And as 'tis said a parlous Ass once spoke,
When Crab-tree Cudgel did his rage provoke.
So if you are not civil,——I fear
He'el speak again.——
In the secondPartthe Devil is brought upon theStage.p. 13.[378]He cries ashe hopes to be Saved. AndSancho warrants him a good Christian. Truly I think he may have more of Christianity in him than the Poet. For he trembles at that God, with whom the other makes Diversion.
I shall omit the mention of several outrages of this Kind, besides his deep mouth'd swearing, which is frequent, and pass on to the Second Head, which is His Abuse of the Clergy. And since Reveal'd Religion has been thus horribly treated,'tis no Wonder if theMinistersof it have the same Usage.
And here we are likely to meet with some passages extraordinary enough. For to give Mr.Durfeyhis due, when he meddles with Church men he lays about him like a Knight Errant: Here his Wit and his Malice, are generally in extreams, tho' not of the same Kind. To begin. He makes the CuratePerezassist at the ridiculous Ceremony ofDon QuixotsKnighting.Part. 1. p. 13.[379]Afterwards SquireSanchoconfessing his mistake toQuixote, tells him,Ah consider dear Sir no man is born wise. And what if he was born wise? He may beBreda Fool, if he has not a care. But how does he prove this Memorable Sentence? Because aBishop is no more than another man without Grace and Good Breeding. I must needs say if thePoethad any share of either of these Qualities, he would be less bold with his Superiors; and not give his Clowns the Liberty to droll thus heavily upon a solemnCharacter. ThisSanchoMr.Durfeytakes care to inform us isa dry shrewd Country Fellow, The reason of this Character is for the strength of it somewhat surprising.Person. Dram.[380]'Tis becausehe blunders out Proverbs upon all Occasions, tho' never so far from the purpose. Now if blundring and talking nothingto the purpose, is an argument ofShrewdness; some PeoplesPlaysare very shrewd Performances. To proceed.Sanchocomplains of his being married, because it hindred him from better offers.Perezthe Curate is sorry for this Misfortune.For as I remembersays he'twas my luck to giveTeresaand you the Blessing. To thisSanchoreplies.A Plague on your Blessing! I perceive I shall have reason to wish you hang'd for your Blessing——Good finisher of Fornication, good Conjunction Copulative.p. 51.[381]For this irreverence and ProfanessPerezthreatens him with Excommunication.Sanchotells him,I care not, I shall lose nothing by it but a nap in the Afternoon.In his Second Part,Jodoleta Priest is call'd aHoly Cormorant, and made to dispatchhalf a Turkey, and a Bottle of Malaga for his Breakfast.p. 3.[382]Here one Country Girl chides another for her sawcyness.D'ee(says she)make a Pimp of a Priest?Sanchointerposes with his usual shrewdness:A Pimp of a Priest, why is that such a Miracle?In the SecondScenethe Poet Provides himself another Priest to abuse.p. 7.[383]Mannelthe Steward callsBernardothe Chaplain Mr.Cuff-Cushion, and tells him aWhore is a Pulpit he loves.——In settling theCharacters Mannelis given out fora witty pleasant Fellow. And now you see he comes up to Expectation. To the Blind allColoursare alike, and Rudeness, and Raillery are the same thing!p. 10.[384]Afterwards,BernardosaysGraceupon theStage; and I suppose Prays to God to bless the Entertainment of the Devil. Before they rise from Table, thePoetcontrives a Quarrel betweenDon QuixotandBernardo. The Priest railes on the Knight, and calls himDon Coxcomb&c. By this time you may imagine the Knight heartily Provok'd, ready to buckle on hisBason, and draw out for the Combat, Let us hear his Resentment.
Don Quix.Oh thou old black Fox with a Fire brand in thy Tail, thou very Priest: Thou Kindler of all Mischeifs in all Nations. De'e hear Homily: Did not the Reverence I bear these Nobles——I would so thrum your Cassock you Church Vermin.p. 41.[385]
At last he bidsBernardoadieu in Language too Profane and Scandalous to relate.p. 47.[386]In the FourthActHis Song calls the ClergyBlack Cattle, and saysno Body now minds what they say. I could alledge more of his Courtship to theOrder, but theReadermight possibly be tired, and therefore I shall proceed in the
Third, place to his want of Modesty, and Regard to the Audience. As for SmutSanchoandTeresatalk it broad, and single sens'd, for almost a page together.Part. 1st. p. 7, 8. pt. 2d. p. 57.[387]MarytheBuxsomhas likewise her shareof this Accomplishment. The first Epilogue is Garnish'd with a Couplet of it;pt. 2d. p. 60;[388]Marcellathe Maiden Shepherdess raves in Raptures of Indecency; And sometimes you have it mixt up with Profaness, to make the Composition the stronger.pt. 1st. p. 38. pt. 2d. p. 14.[389]But this entertainment being no Novelty, I shall pass it over; And the rather because there are some other Rarities which are not to be met with else where.
Here he diverts the Ladies with the Charming Rhetorick ofSnotty-Nose, filthy Vermin in the Beard, Nitty Jerkin, and Louse Snapper, with the Letter in the Chamber-pot, and natural Evacuation;pt. 1st. p. 7, 8. pt. 2d. p. 52. pt. 2d. p. 36, 49. pt. 2d. p. 37. 44.[390]with an abusive description of a Countess, and a rude story of a certain Lady, and with some other varieties of this Kind, too coarse to be named. This is rare stuff for Ladies, and Quality! There is more ofPhysick, thanComedyin such Sentences as these.Crocus Metallorumwill scarse turn the Stomack more effectually. 'Tis possible Mr.Durfeymight design it for aReceipt. And being Conscious thePlaywas too dear, threw a Vomit into the Bargain.Pref. pt. 3d.[391]I wonder Mr.Durfeyshould have no more regard to theBoxesandPitt! That a Man who hasstudied the Scenes of Decency and Good Manners with so much Zeal, should practise with so little Address! Certainlyindefatigable Diligence,Care and Pains, was never more unfortunate!Ibid.[392]In histhird Part,Buxsomeswears faster, and is more scandalous, and impertinent, than in the other two. At these Liberties, and some inSancho, the Ladies took Check. This Censure Mr.Durfeyseems heartily sorry for. He isextreamly concern'd that the Ladies, that Essential part of the Audience, should think his Performancenauseous and undecent.Pref.[393]That is, he is very sorry they brought their Wits, or their Modesty along with them. However Mr.Durfeyis not so Ceremonious as to submit: He is resolved to keep the Field against the Ladies; And endeavours to defend himself by saying,I know no other way in Nature to do the Characters right, but to make a Romp, speak like a Romp, and a clownish Boor blunder&c.Ibid.[394]
By his favour, all Imitations tho' never so well Counterfeited are not proper for theStage. To present Nature under every Appearance would be an odd undertaking. A MidnightCart, or aDunghilwould be no OrnamentalScene. Nastyness, and dirty Conversation are of the same kind. ForWordsare a Picture to the Ear, as Colours andSurfaceare to the Eye. Such Discourses are like dilating upon Ulcers, and Leprosies: The moreNatural, the worse; for the Disgust always rises with the Life of the Description. Offensive Language like offensive Smells, does but make a Man's Senses a burthen, and affords him nothing but Loathing and Aversion. Beastliness in Behaviour, gives a disparaging Idea of Humane Nature, and almost makes us sorry we are of the same Kind. For these reasons 'tis a Maxime in Good Breeding never to shock the Senses, or Imagination. This Rule holds strongest beforeWomen, and especially when they come to be entertain'd. The Diversion ought to be suited to the Audience; For nothing pleases which is disproportion'd to Capacity, and Gust. The Rudenesses and broad Jests of Beggars, are just as acceptable to Ladies as their Rags, and Cleanliness. To treat Persons of Condition like theMob, is to degrade their Birth, and affront their Breeding. It levells them with the lowest Education. For the size of a Man's Sense, and Improvement, is discovered by his Pleasures, as much as by any thing else.
But to remove fromScenes of Decency, toScenesof Wit. And hereMannelandSancho, twopleasant sharp Fellows, will divert us extreamly.Person. Dram.[395]Mannelin the Disguise of a Lady addresses the Dutchess in thismanner.Illustrious Beauty——I must desire to know whether the most purifidiferous DonQuixoteof the Manchissima, and his SquireiferousPanca,be in this Company or no. This is the Ladies speech! Now comesSancho.Why look you forsooth, without any more Flourishes, the GovernourPancais here, and DonQuixotissimotoo; therefore most afflictedissimous Matronissima, speak what you willissimus, for we are all ready to be your Servitorissimus.pt. 2d. p. 31.[396]
I dare not go on, for fear of overlaying theReader. He may cloy himself at his Leisure. TheScenebetween theTaylorandGardiner, lies much in the same Latitude of Understanding.p. 51.[397]
The ThirdPartpresents a set ofPoppets, which is a Thought good enough; for this Play is only fit to move uponWires. 'Tis pity these littleMachinesappear'd no sooner, for then the Sense, and theActorshad been well adjusted. In explaining thePersons, He acquaints us thatCarasco is a Witty Man. I can't tell what the Gentleman might be in other Places, but I'm Satisfied he is a Fool in hisPlay. But somePoetsare as great Judges of Wit, as they are an instance; And have the Theory and the Practise just alike.
Mr.Durfeys Epistles Dedicatoryare to the full as diverting as hisComedies. A little of them may not be amiss.