CHAPTERIX.
Asthe Countess of Ilfracombe returned to the Hall, with her packet of letters in her hand, her heart was very glad, but at the same time it was filled with soberer thoughts than it had indulged in for some time past. What was after all the great difference between her and Nell Llewellyn? She had not fallen, it was true—she had not openly disgraced herself—but what had her flirtation with Jack Portland been if not a lowering of her womanly dignity; a soiling of her purity; a smirching of the delicate bloom and whiteness that should have protected her maidenly life as with a veil? Nora felt terribly ashamed of herself as she remembered it. Her great fear had passed away, thanks to Nell’s interest and intrepidity, and her mind had time tothink of other things. This poor despised girl had saved her from all sorts of horrors; preserved her husband’s faith in her; his love for her; had placed in her hand, as it were, the whole happiness of her life. But she herself—if she destroyed these letters, as she fully intended to do, how would she be any better than before—any more deserving of Ilfracombe’s affection and confidence? She would be safe, it is true, but safety did not constitute worthiness. And Nora had begun to long todeserveher husband’s love—to be able to accept it with an unburdened conscience—feeling that there was nothing between them, not even a shadow cast from the past. Could she, she asked herself, as she wended homewards, ever summon up the courage to tell him everything, to make him the arbiter of her destiny, to constitute him her judge and await the sentence he chose to pronounce upon her? It would be very awful she thought, terrible beyond description; she did not think she couldpossibly undergo such an ordeal. She pictured to herself Ilfracombe’s stern face as he listened to the unfolding of a tale so dissonant to his own feelings, so unlike all he had conceived of her, so dreadful to hear of the woman of whom he thought so highly, who he had chosen for his wife before all others. Nora shuddered when she thought thus, and told herself that it could not be. She valued his good opinion and his affection too highly. But there was another side of the question. Without telling Lord Ilfracombe, her own part in the matter, how could she convince him of the treachery of Jack Portland towards them both; how induce him to break off, once and for ever, the dangerous intimacy which united them. Her husband might refuse to believe her mere word, as he had refused before. He was a loyal friend, and a generous man. He would not judge anyone on the unproved testimony of another person. Without the proof which those letters conveyed, wouldshe have any more influence with him than she had had before, when he pooh-poohed her warnings as the idle fears of a well-meaning but ignorant woman? And had she the courage for the sake of them both, and especially for the sake of the husband whom she was beginning to love far better than she did herself, to brave the verdict of Ilfracombe’s displeasure, and tell him the whole truth? Nell had been courageous for both their sakes. From a worldly point of view she had no particular reason to care for the earl’s interests, still less for those of the wife who had supplanted her; yet she had braved being called a thief, and any other hard name Mr Portland might have thought fit in his rage to cast at her, in order to do good to those who had in a measure wronged her. Nell was worth a thousand of Nora, so the wife of Ilfracombe said inwardly as she dwelt on these things. And musing after this fashion she reached the Hall, not much happier than she had left it. It was truethat she had regained possession of the letters which had made a nightmare of her married life, but they had not brought the peace with them which she had imagined they would. She was out of a certain danger, but she was stillherself, that was what Nora thought, still, a wife who had deceived her trusting husband, and would not be cleansed in her own eyes till she had made a full confession of her sin. It was contemplating the divine forgiveness which Nell had extended to them both, the single-heartedness which she displayed, the patience and humility with which she bore her own sad lot, which was influencing Lady Ilfracombe almost unconsciously to imitate her as far as lay in her power.
Her indecision, combined with the promptings of the good angel within her, to do what was right, made Noradistraiteand melancholy during the period of dressing for dinner, and when Lord Ilfracombe joined her he chaffed her on the bad effects of botanising with Jack.
‘You had much better have come out with Lady Bowmant and myself, Nora,’ he said; ‘we have had a rousing time, but you look as dull as ditch water. What has old Jack been saying to you to quench your spirits?’
‘Your dear particular friend has not been saying anything at all to me, Ilfracombe. I have not set eyes on him. He did not keep his appointment.’
The earl suspended his operations of dressing, and turned round to regard her with surprise.
‘Jack didn’t turn up?’ he ejaculated. ‘Why, what on earth can be the reason?’
‘I don’t know,’ replied Nora; ‘and what’s more, I don’t care.’
‘Ah, my lady, that sounds very much like pique,’ exclaimed her husband, laughing; ‘but for Jack not to keep an appointment with you, I cannot understand such a thing. I hope nothing’s the matter with him.’
‘What should be the matter, MrPortland’s like a bad halfpenny. He’s bound to come back again.’
‘And how did you spend your afternoon then, darling?’ asked the earl; ‘wasn’t it very stupid? How I wish you had come with us instead.’
‘Idon’t, Ilfracombe, for I have passed a very eventful afternoon. There is no time to tell you of it now, but you shall hear allof it when we find ourselves alone again. There’s the second gong; we must go down. Now we shall hear what Mr Portland has to say for himself.’
They heard it as soon as they entered the drawing-room, where their hosts were waiting for them.
‘Our party will be smaller than usual to-night, I am sorry to tell you,’ said Lady Bowmant. ‘I have just had a note from Mr Portland to say he has been called away on important business till to-morrow. Isn’t it extraordinary? He doesn’t say where, or by whom? When did he get the summons? That is what puzzles me. He said nothing about itat luncheon. In fact, he settled to take a walk with you, if I am not mistaken, Lady Ilfracombe.’
‘Yes, but he did not come,’ answered Nora.
‘I never knew old Jack to do such a thing in his life before,’ remarked the earl, ‘he is generally so punctual in his engagements. And as for business, why, he has no business, except pleasure. The idlest, most unpractical man I ever knew. Whatcanthe matter be? I am quite curious to learn.’
‘Well, we must manage to do without him to-night, at all events,’ said Lady Bowmant, who appeared to be rather offended by the breach of politeness. ‘I think Mr Portland might have given us a little more notice, but it is really of no consequence.’
‘And he might have let my wife know he couldn’t walk with her, instead of leaving her to cool her heels in the field waiting for him half the afternoon. I shall have a crow to pluck with Master Jack for this to-morrow.’
‘Oh, Ilfracombe! do you really think it is worth while?’ exclaimed Nora. ‘I hope none of you will let him imagine that his absence was of the slightest consequence.’
‘It becomes of consequence when he treats you with so little ceremony,’ replied the earl, as he offered his arm to his hostess to conduct her to the dining-room.
Mr Portland’s vagaries were not mentioned again during the evening; but when Lord Ilfracombe entered his wife’s room that night and found her resting on the sofa in her dressing-gown, instead of fast asleep in bed, the subject was renewed between them.
‘Why, my darling, how is this?’ he exclaimed, ‘is your book so interesting that you cannot tear yourself away from it, or are you not sleepy to-night?’
‘Neither,’ answered Nora, gravely. ‘I was only waiting for my husband.’
‘And now you have your husband,’ he answered playfully, as he cast himself down beside her, ‘what is it?’
‘I want to have a little talk with you Ilfracombe,’ she said, ‘and I don’t know how to begin.’
‘What is it all about, sweetheart?’ he asked her with a kiss. His manner was enough to disarm any amount of fears, but it was so confident that it made Nora still more nervous.
‘I wish you wouldn’t kiss me,’ she said, almost petulantly. ‘I am going to tell you something about myself, that will make you very angry, and then you will think I accepted your kisses on false pretences.’
‘I am sorry to hear you say that Nora,’ he replied; ‘but whatever you may have done, I can assure you of my forgiveness beforehand, so you can take my kiss as an instalment in advance.’
‘Don’t you be too sure of that,’ said his wife. ‘It is something that happened before our marriage, and I wasn’t too good a girl then, I can assure you. I did all sort of awful things, and I feel sure you will wish you had never married me when you hear them.’
‘And why do you tell me of them now, my dear girl? We have been married a year, and you have never thought of doing such a thing before. Neither do I desire to hear anything about the past. Let it rest in peace. You know I was not a saint myself.’
‘But you told me all about that Ilfracombe, and I was so silly, I was too frightened to follow your example.’
‘But who dared to frighten you darling? Couldn’t you trust your husband?’ he said tenderly. Nora snuggled up close to his side and buried her face in his bosom as she whispered,—
‘No, because I loved you so, I was afraid of losing your love and esteem, if you knew what a wild reckless girl I have been. Ilfracombe, do you remember one day after we were engaged, when you asked me if I had ever had a lover before yourself, what I replied?’
‘That you had, had so many you couldn’t count them, I believe,’ said the earl, laughing.
‘No, no, not that, but that there had been one man to whom I was engaged, but papa would not hear of our marriage because he had no money.’
‘Yes! Well, what of him?’
‘It was Mr Portland,’ said Nora, with her face still hidden. But her husband, in his astonishment, sat bolt upright and put her away.
‘Jack, oh! impossible! Nora, why did you not tell me of this before?’
‘Because, oh, I am coming to that by-and-bye. But, indeed, it is true. He was at Malta, you may remember, just at that time, two years before I met you, and staying with his sister Mrs Loveless. He told you he had met me there. He was very different in appearance then from what he is now, and I flirted and “spooned,” with him till I fancied I was head over ears in love, and he incited me on to be far more wild than I had ever been before. When I look back and think how young and foolish I was, I see he behaved very badly to me.’
‘Tell me all, Nora,’ said the earl sternly.
‘Iwilltell you all; don’t be afraid, I used to creep out of my father’s house after dinner, and meet Mr Portland late at night, sometimes as late as twelve o’clock, and then sneak back again when everyone had gone to bed. We used to sit under the orange trees for hours, talking, and all that sort of folly, you know—’
‘Oh, yes, I know,’ acquiesced the earl with a groan.
‘And one day we went out in a boat and were caught in a squall and had to stay away till the morning. We were with people all the time in a little inn, and papa never found out that Mr Portland was with me, but he was!’
‘Any more pleasant stories to tell me?’ asked her husband.
‘No, that is the worst (bad enough too, isn’t it?), as far as I am concerned, but I was foolish enough during that time to write Jack a lot of letters. I used to write two and three times a day whenI didn’t see him, and in them I spoke very freely of all the pranks we had played together. He wrote to me as well, of course, but when we parted I destroyed his letters, but he kept mine.’
‘Hasn’t he given them up to you?’ demanded Ilfracombe quickly.
‘I have them now; but listen quietly to me, Ilfracombe, for a moment. You were rather vexed with me when we first came home to Thistlemere, because I did not welcome your bosom friend with the cordiality you wished me to extend to him. Why, if I had had the courage to tell you the truth, you would have kicked him out of the house. For, from the moment we met again, whenever Mr Portland has seen my disapproval of his influence over you in racing and gambling matters, he has held the threat over my head, that if I tried to dissuade you from throwing your money away, he would hand over those letters of mine, and make you hate and despise me as much as he did.’
‘The scoundrel!’ said Ilfracombe between his teeth.
‘He has promised over and over again to restore me those letters,’ continued Nora, ‘and again and again he has broken his word. He never meant to give them to me at all, I am convinced of that. He knew that, as soon as I got them into my own hands, I should have the courage to speak to you, and prove to you how unworthy he is.’
‘How did you get them at last, then, Nora?’
‘Now comes the hardest part of my confession, Ilfracombe, and I shall never be able to make it whilst you look at me like that.’
The earl tried to smile as he replied,—
‘I am not angry with you, Nora, only utterly disgusted with Jack for turning out such a low blackguard, and with myself for being so blind as to believe him to be an honourable man.’
‘But you will be angry with me forthis. Two nights ago he told me that if I went over to his room at the farm I should receive my letters—and Iwent.’
‘You visited Portland at his sleeping apartments? Oh, Nora, I thought you had too much pride in your position as my wife—too much respect for yourself—to do such a thing!’
‘I would not have gone for anything but those letters,’ she cried. ‘Oh, Ilfracombe, believe me and forgive me! I never was a liar. He said they were in his despatch-box, and I was fool enough to believe him, and fell into the trap. And when I got there, he declared he had made a mistake, and must have left them in town—all lies, all lies!’
‘Then how did you get them at last?’
‘He wrote me a note this morning—here it is,’ said Nora, as she produced it from her blotting-case—‘to say he had telegraphed for the packet, and it had arrived from town, and if I would meet him in the meadow this afternoon I shouldreceive them. That was the secret of my taking a walk with him, you see, Ilfracombe.Itake a walk voluntarily with the brute! I would rather be hanged, any day!’ cried Nora impetuously.
‘But he never came, you say.’
‘No; but someone else did. Can you guess who it was? That Miss Llewellyn from the farm. She is really your girl; she is no more drowned than I am, and, oh, she is so sweet and nice! However did you come to give her up for me?’
‘Don’t talk nonsense, Nora!’ said the earl. ‘I knew some days back that Nell is still alive, but thought it just as well not to mention the subject to you. But did she bring you your letters?’
‘Yes, she did, the dear, good girl. She was at her bedroom window, which overlooks Portland’s, when I went there, and heard my entreaties to him to return my letters, and his brutal, sarcastic replies; so as soon as I was gone sheconfronted him, andmadehim give them up to her—how, she did not tell me, only he did—and she brought them to me. Oh, Iwasglad! I kissed her a dozen times for her kindness.’
‘Butwhydid she do it?’ demanded the earl. ‘I cannot understand her interest in the matter, nor how she induced Portland to do what you could not. It was like Nell; she always was resolute and plucky; but what was the motive?’
‘Her love for you, Ilfracombe,’ replied his wife gravely, ‘and her desire to keep your name untarnished. Oh! you have never known what was in her noble nature, that is very clear. She is twice the woman I am, or ever shall be. She ought to have been your wife, and she is fit for it.’
‘Nora, Nell is a good girl, and I deeply regret the part I played in soiling her life; but there is only one wife in the world for me, and she is by my side. It was very good of poor Nell, very generous, very kind, to have done whatshe has done for you, and we must think of some means of repaying her. And I am glad to tell you, for her sake and my own, that she is going to be married herself. She came to see me this morning about some business of her father’s, and told me the news.’
‘Going to be married!’ repeated Nora, with womanly intuition. ‘Are yousure?’ She did not mention such a thing to me; and she looked so sad and spoke so sadly, she made me cry. I don’t think she can be going to be married. And when I asked her what I could do to return her kindness, she said,—“Love him with all your heart and soul, and never have a secret from him again.”’
‘And do you, Nora?’ whispered Ilfracombe.
‘What?’
‘Love me with all your heart and soul.’
She turned, and threw her arms about his neck.
‘I do—I do! my darling, and neverso much as at this moment. Neither will I ever have a secret from you again. There are the letters,’ she continued, as she drew the packet from her pocket and placed it in his hand. ‘They were written so long ago that I don’t remember what is in them; but whatever it may be—good, bad or indifferent—read it all, dear, and judge me as you will. At all events, you will know the worst, and I need not fear that I am claiming your love under false pretences for the future.’
‘And so this is the poor little packet that has kept us apart for so long,’ murmured the earl, as he regarded it, ‘but, thank God, has not been powerful enough to sever us from each other’s confidence for ever. And you give me leave to do what I will with it—to read its contents from end to end?’
‘Yes, yes. Only be quick about it; the suspense of your decision is so hard to bear. Perhaps, who knows, Ilfracombe, after you have seen the folly I havewritten to another man, you may not wish to have anything to do with me again.’
‘Yes, I should think that was very probable,’ remarked the earl, with quiet amusement, as he placed the packet in the empty grate and lighted a match under it. ‘See! Nora, that is how I read your poor little love-letters of long ago. How amusing they are! But, confound the things! they won’t burn. Come, that’s better. They’re blazing up beautifully now; and I only wish I could see Mr Jack Portland blazing up with them!’
Lady Ilfracombe looked up joyfully.
‘Oh, darling, is that true?’ she exclaimed. ‘Shall we never have our happiness interrupted more by looking on him again?’
‘Why, rather not! What do you take me for? Do you think I would associate with the man who has played you such a dirty trick, and nearly upset our married happiness? No, my dearest; I value youtoo much for that. Mr Portland has seen the last of any house which owns me as master.’
‘Oh, Ilfracombe, you have made me so exquisitely happy! Oh, how I wish poor Nell were as happy as I am. I told her we were leaving Usk to-morrow, and promised that we would go over to the farm together first, and wish her farewell. You will come with me, won’t you, darling?’
‘Of course I will, since you wish it. You have behaved in a most generous manner regarding this young woman, Nora, and I shall never forget it. That reminds me that, according to my promise to her this morning, I have been sounding Sir Archibald as to the chance of being able to purchase Panty-cuckoo Farm, and I find he is quite ready to sell it at a reasonable price. I fancy they are getting rather hard-up on account of her ladyship’s extravagance. So I intend to close with him, and make over the title-deeds to Nell as a wedding present. She refused to let memake any provision for her, as I think I told you, but this I shall insist upon.’
‘Yes, do; it was just like her, dear thing, to refuse your money. Ilfracombe, you owe her a great deal. She was very much attached to you. I could see that by every word she said.’
‘Hush, Nora dear, don’t allude to it now. You women are apt to grow sentimental when you get together, talking over the same man. She cared for me well enough—so did I for her; but you see we are both going to be married, and live happy ever afterwards. That is the end of most fairy tales, whether they happen in this world or the other. Kiss me, my own darling, and tell me once more that you love me. That is the only thing that concerns us now.’