CHAPTER XXXIII."THE FANCY."
"All impediments in fancy's courseAre motives of more fancy."
"All impediments in fancy's courseAre motives of more fancy."
"All impediments in fancy's courseAre motives of more fancy."
"All impediments in fancy's courseAre motives of more fancy."
"All impediments in fancy's course
Are motives of more fancy."
Judy the Fancywas one of the most prominent characters about Crowmore. She lived at the Cross, and haunted that well-beaten thoroughfare from early morn till dewy eve. Despite her name, "The Fancy" was certainly no beauty; she had a yellow, wrinkled face, a pair of greedy little black eyes, and features which bore a ludicrous resemblance to a turnip ghost. Although she went bare-footed, she wore good, warm clothes, and a respectable white cap; and no stranger could have guessed at herprofession until she struck up her habitual whine of—"Give the poor ould woman the price of a cup of tay, your honour, the price of a cup of tay, and I'll pray for ye; andeed ye might do worse than have the prayers of the poor!"
Sitting basking at her post, she taxed all comers, and taxed them most successfully; for the little world of Crowmore were mortally afraid to draw down the "Fancy's" tongue, and she received propitiatory offerings of sods of turf, and "locks of male" from her own class, and numerous sixpences, and coppers, from well-to-do neighbours.
She was the mother of Andy All Right, and looked to the Castle with confidence for the supply of her wardrobe, and praties, and sweet milk. She would sorely vex the spirits of those who figuratively buttoned up their pockets, by loud, uncomplimentary remarks on their personal appearance, painful allusions to family secrets, and dismal prophetic warnings of their future downfall. Many a stout-hearted man would rather (if he had no small change), go a round of two miles, than run the gauntlet of the "Fancy's" corner.
She had also other means of levying tribute that rarely failed; not begging with gross directness, or angry importunity, as I regret to say was her occasional wont, but merely exclaiming aloud, as if talking to herself,—
"Musha! and it's Mrs. Megaw! and 'tis herself has the finest young family in the whole side of the country; faix, no one denies that, not wan; and signs on it, 'tis the mother they takes afther!"
Or to a victim of the sterner sex (who are equally vulnerable in such matters),—
"And so that's Tim Duffy!"—in a tone of intense surprise—"sure, an' I hardly know him. Troth, and it's atrateto sit here and see the likes of him going by. It's an officer in the army he should be, instead of trailing there, afther a cart of turf!"
These little speeches, had an excellent effect, and generally bore a rich harvest. She had also an unfailing method of raising a spirit of emulation among her benefactors. As for instance, having received, we will say sixpence, from some charitable hand, she would turn itover rather contemptuously in her palm, and exclaim, in a tone more of sorrow than of anger,—
"Well, I always thought ye were as free-handed as Mrs. Ryan; andshenever asks me to look at less than a shilling! But maybe ye can't so well afford it, dear; and God bless ye all the same."
As Helen and her cousins returned from church on Sunday, they descried the "Fancy" sitting on the hall door-steps; a clean cap on her head, and a pipe in her mouth.
"Your servant, ladies," she said, without rising, and gazing over their heads in a rather abstracted (not to say embarrassing) fashion.
"Well, Judy, and what is it to-day?" inquired Dido.
"Oh, it's only Mr. Barry. He is inside"—with a wave of her pipe. "He is a Justice of the Pace now, and I want him to do a small turn for me. Just go in and don't trouble yourself about me, dearie."
"So Barry is here!" cried Katie, visibly delighted. "What brings him? Sunday is never his day?"
"No," admitted her sister, as she followed her into the hall; "but he has come to see Helen; and it gives him an excuse for his best clothes."
Two large pointers with swaggering bodies, animated tails, and muddy paws, now rushed out of the drawing-room to meet them; and in the drawing-room, extended full length on the sofa, in an easy, negligent attitude, they discovered the pointers' master. Turning his face towards the door, he said,—
"So you are back at last," then rising slowly, and putting his boots on the ground, he raised himself to his full height, shot his cuffs, and stared fixedly at Helen, and she at him (it must be confessed); he was far, far worse than she had expected. She beheld a middle-sized man, with bandy legs, a red face, and beaming countenance,—lit up by an inward sun of self-complacency—dressed in a short cutaway coat, a white waistcoat, and brilliant tie,—the sleeves of his coat and the legs of his trousers revealed an unusual margin of red wrist and grey stocking; but these discrepancies did not occasion the smallestembarrassment to their wearer.
"I hope you have been pretty comfortable, Barry?" inquired Dido, with a rueful glance at the tumbled cushions and antimacassars.
"No; that old bench of yours is as hard as a board! This is Miss Denis, isn't it? Miss Denis," laying his hand on his heart, and making a low bow, "your most humble."
Which salute the young lady acknowledged by sweeping him a somewhat disdainful curtsey.
"Many in church?"—now looking at Katie.
"Oh, the usual set, Reids and Redmonds. Mr. Redmond walked down the avenue with Helen. Helen, you have certainly made a conquestthere."
"Of course she has," quoth Barry, seating himself; "it is not every day he sees a pretty girl in these parts." Thus administering a compliment to her, and a backhander to his cousins in the same breath.
"What was Miss Calderwood saying to you, Dido?" inquired Katie,—totally ignoring the foregoing agreeable speech!
"Oh, she talked of the weather, and about Helen. She wanted to know when she came, how long she was going to stay, and if it was true she was a governess?"
"Odious girl!" cried Katie, "she has a knack of asking nasty questions. I can't endure her—nor the glare of her cold grey eyes."
"Oh, she is not a bad sort of young woman," protested Barry, sticking his thumbs in the arm-holes of his waistcoat, and leaning back in his chair. "She and I get on first-class; but all the same, and quite between ourselves, girls, I would never think of marrying her!"
Helen stared in astonishment. Unquestionably here was a creature who pressingly invited the most inflexible snubbings! He on his part had been gazing at her with untrammelled amazement and admiration, and now that these feelings had slightly subsided, began to engage her in conversation.
"And how do you like this part of the world?"
"Very much indeed."
"Humph! I would not have thought you were so easily pleased; it will seem uncommonly dull after all your fine times in the East; there you had balls, and parties, and admirers by the score."
Helen drew up her neck, and looked dignified, and he said to himself, "Ha, ha, my fine madam, I'll have to take you down a peg, if that's your style."
"Had you a comfortable situation in London at that school?"
"Yes, thank you," she replied haughtily.
"Well, we shall not allow you to go back this long time! Dido, we must take Helen (could she believe her ears?) over to the band at Terryscreen next week. I'LL treat you all at the hotel. You don't mind me calling you Helen, do you? You know we are all cousins here!" concluded Barry, with a discriminating readiness to claim kinship with a pretty girl.
"Yes," he said to himself, "Katie and Dido were not bad in their way, but this new connection was really splendid!"
In his mind's eye he already saw himself proudly parading her at the band, and driving his intimates, and maybe the officers (who werenothis intimates) simply mad with envy.
She was a little bit stiff now, but that would soon wear off.
"And how is the great inventor?" he inquired facetiously.
"As usual," responded Dido, "quite well and very busy."
"Is luncheon ready? for I'm as hungry as a hawk," he said. "I hope you have got something decent to-day. None of your bacon and eggs! Mind, Helen, you don't let them starve you, they are by no means liberal with their butcher's meat," and he laughed uproariously, and evidently considered that he had said something exquisitely witty.
"We always have meat onSundays," said Dido sarcastically, as she led the way to an excellent repast in the dining-room.
When Barry had taken the edge off his appetite, which he compassed ina manner that excited Helen's disgust, he looked across at her, and said abruptly,—
"What's the name of those islands you were at?"
"The Andamans."
"You had fine times; twenty men to one girl, and no end of tennis and parties; it's the other way about here," grinning complacently, "twenty girls to one man, and no parties, balls, or fun of any kind."
"I was only at one dance all the time I was at Port Blair."
"Port Blair!nowi have it!" suddenly laying down his knife and fork, and speaking in a loud, exultant tone, "Ithoughti had heard of the place somewhere. Girls, I'll tell you who was at those islands for months, old Redmond's nephew! I say, Helen, did you ever come across a fellow, of the name of Lisle?"
"Yes, I knew him," returning his gaze with calm, untroubled eyes.
"He was there for a long time. What was the attraction, eh?"
"How can I tell you? Sport, I believe."
"Oh!" with a palpable wink at Katie. "Sport! There are a good many different kinds ofsport. And now tell me what you think of him."
"I'm not prepared with an opinion at such short notice."
"Which means that you don't like him! Neither doI. Come, that's one bond of union—give us your hand on it," jumping up and stretching an eager red member across the table,—where it remained alone, and unsought!
"I never said that I did not like Mr. Lisle," returned Helen, with freezing politeness.
"Oh!" drawing back, visibly affronted. "So that's the way with you, is it? Well, he is not a bad-looking chap, and you know he is a great catch! Plenty ofothergirls would give their ears to marry him."
"Pray explain yourself, Mr. Sheridan," said Helen, fiercely. "Do you mean me to understand thatIwould have given my ears to marry him?" Her eyes were flashing and her colour rising, and there was every indication of a domestic storm.
"Don't mind him! Don't mind him!" cried Katie, gallantly turning the tide of battle, "it's only his chaff; helovesto put people in a passion. Barry, you must really remember that Helen is not used to your jokesyet."
"Nor ever would be," thought that young lady, wrathfully.
"Oh, well, no offence, no offence; I did not know you were sotouchyabout him! He is a great favourite with the old boy—I mean his uncle,—but he is hardly ever here, always rambling about the world. I think myself, he is by no means the saint his fond relations imagine, and that he has a screw loose somewhere."
"And I'm sure he has not," rejoined Dido, hotly. "I like him, though I've only met him once or twice. He is a gentleman, which is more than I can say for other people in this part of the world. He is delightful to talk to, very good-looking, never gives himself airs, never brags——"
"One would think you were his hired trumpeter," interrupted Barry, angrily. "What doyouknow, a girl likeyou! Believe me, still waters run deep. Give me a jolly, above-board chap that will light a pipe, and mix a tumbler of whisky punch, and open his mind to you! None of your cool, deliberate fellows, who smoke cigarettes, drink claret, and look as if you have seven heads when you make a little joke."
"I wonder if he is coming for the shooting," said Katie, amiably anxious to smooth matters. "He is fond of it, I know."
"Yes, and a fair shot, but jealous, as I found the only day I was out with him;twicehe took my bird."
"Perhaps because you missed it," retorted Dido, coolly. "Sometimes he comes for a month's hunting in winter,"—turning to Helen. "He's a splendid rider, the best in the county."
"Well, I don't know about that, Dido! Ahem! I don't wish to praise myself, but I'll be glad to hear of a more forward man with the Bag Fox pack, than Barry Sheridan, Esq., J.P. Why, the very last time I was out I jumped a gate—a five-barred gate!" addressing himself specially to Helen.
"Then if you did, Barry," said Dido, rising and pushing back her chair, "it must have been on theground! You know very well that you can't ride a yard. Your shooting I don't deny; but when you boast of jumping five-barred gates, you know you are talking nonsense." So saying, she walked out of the room, followed by the two girls and Barry—who brought up the rear after a considerable interval, muttering wrathfully to himself.
As he passed into the hall, he came in full view of the "Fancy," seated on the steps. On beholding him, she called out in her most dulcet coaxing key,—
"Oh, my own darling young gentleman, you are a sight for sore eyes; your 'Fancy' has been waiting on you these two hours!"
"Then shemustwait," he growled, nevertheless approaching, with his hands in his pockets and a rather important strut.
"Oh, then, I know ye don't manethat. An' sure now, Miss," appealing to Helen, and languishing at her with her head on one side, "and isn't he an ornament to any country?"
Helen became crimson with suppressed laughter, and was totally unable to utter any reply. However, her levity was not lost on Barry, who made a note of it against some future occasion, when she should be repaid in kind.
"Well, Judy, what is it?" impatiently.
"Only a whisper, darlin'. 'Tis just this," suddenly rising to her feet, "ever since I lost me health, come Christmas twenty years, and manny and manny a time before that, I washed for your mother——"
"Just cut all that part, will you?"
"Well thin, I'm here at the Cross, a poor, lone widder, that has buried all belonging to me but Andy, and living on the charity of the public, as ye know, this blessed nineteen years! And now, a thief of a black stranger from beyant Terryscreen, has come and set himself down alongside of me. Ablindman itself—any way it's what he lets on—and every one knows I'mnot; and they are all for giving to the poor dark creature. And sure, he has me ruined and destroyed entirely!" now raising her voice a full octave, and commencing to cry with alarming energy.
"You know if I did right I'd give you six weeks of Terryscreen jail for begging in the public highway," said Barry, magisterially.
"An' if ye did that same," drying her eyes, and stretching out her hands, "I take these beautiful angels as mee witnesses, I'd rather have six weeks from your honour, than six days from another; and that's as sure as I'm standing here!"
Barry was palpably flattered, and grinned, and looked at Helen out of the corner of his left eye to see if she was impressed, as much as to say, "What do you think ofthat?"—But, unfortunately, she was grinning also.
"Indeed, it's bitterly cold in winter," put in Dido, "and I'm not a bit sorry that some one has taken your corner. With Andy in constant work, and milk, and potatoes, and a pinch of tea from us, you know you willnevermiss it."
"Arrah, Miss Dido! sure ye don't know what you are talking about. And how would ye? If that rapscallion gets a footing in my holding, it's ruin and destruction that's in it; just that, and no more! Why," lowering her voice mysteriously, "sure it's as good as afarmto me, darlin'! Aye, and betther; it's all in-comings, and no stock, and no rint."
This amazing confidence threw an entirely new light on the subject. Her three listeners stared at the old woman in respectful astonishment. They would have stared still more, could they have seen the comfortably-filled stocking that was hidden away under the thatch of Judy's cabin.
"Well, I can't stay here all day. I'll see what I can do for you," said Barry, abruptly. "I've important papers to sign at home, and I must be off."
The truth was, that the good gentleman was ruffled at Helen's attitude of repressed amusement, and at Dido's courageous candour; and he felt that he could not punish the offending couple more simply, or more effectually, than by removing himself, and leaving them to their own devices all through the long Sunday afternoon. He flattered himself that Miss Denis wouldsoonlearn his value.
Now Barry was the only eligible bachelor, in a neighbourhood where there were legions of girls,—and was fully sensible of his ownimportance. In his secret heart, he believed that he had only to ask any young woman within a radius of say twenty miles, and, in his own homely parlance, "she would be thankful to jump at him." And he felt conscious that he was dealing a cruel blow to the little circle at Crowmore when, seizing his hat and stick, and calling his dogs, he bade them a general farewell, and hurried down the steps.
His departure was the signal for the "Fancy" to take leave. Willy nilly, she escorted him to the gate,—to the intense delight of the spectators in the doorway. Vainly he tried to shake her off; vainly he increased his pace; his manœuvres were totally unavailing, his companion still trotted bare-footed beside him, gesticulating as she went with both head and hands. Her eloquence undoubtedly had its reward, for within a week "the dark man from beyond Terryscreen" had mysteriously disappeared, and she reigned in undisputed possession of her own warm corner.