CHAPTER V.

While I was compiling my History of the Jews, I boarded in Dedham. I was here honored with the friendship, and received the kind offices ofMrDowse, his lady, and her sister,[1]and more pecuniary favors than I have ever experienced from any other individuals. Whenever I visited this happy family, I was received with the utmost cordiality; and I desire publicly to express my grateful sense of their goodness.

[1]Mrs Shaw, who allowed Miss Adams one hundred dollars a year, for twenty-five years, paid to her quarterly, by Josiah Quincy,Esq.

While writing my History, my eyes, which, since I had first injured them, have been occasionally troublesome, failed to that degree, that I was induced again to go to Boston to consult Dr Jeffries, in the hope, that, by attending to his directions, I might finish mywork. During this visit at Boston, I received the unexpected intelligence, that a number of benevolent gentlemen had settled an annuity upon me, to relieve me from the embarrassments I had hitherto suffered. The Hon. Josiah Quincy, Stephen Higginson,Esq.and William Shaw,Esq.were some of its first promoters. This providential interference excited my most lively gratitude to my generous benefactors, and I hope I sensibly felt my deep obligation to the source of all good.

My generous friends could hardly appreciate the extent of the benefit they conferred upon me. I had not been able to make any provision for my declining years, and had not a place on earth which I could call my home. My spirits were depressed by my destitute circumstances, and I am persuaded that under Providence, the generosity of my friends was the means of prolonging my life.

I had now attained a condition more eligible than my most sanguine wishes could ever have led me to anticipate. If in early life I could have enjoyed the literary advantagesI now possessed, I should have thought it the height of earthly happiness. But I was now too far advanced in life to profit by the advantages I had gained. However, I was grateful, and happy. My friend William Shaw,Esq.gave me the liberty of frequenting the Atheneum. Amidst that large and valuable collection of books, I found an inexhaustible source of information and entertainment; and among other advantages, I found a few literary friends, in whose conversation I enjoyed ‘the feast of reason and the flow of soul.’ Among the many blessings I was favored with, I shall ever highly appreciate the acquaintance and friendship of the lateRev.MrBuckminster, in whom I contemplated with admiration the rare union of intellectual, moral, and religious excellence; of a powerful mind with extensive information, and a feeling heart enlivened by devotion. He was admired for his distinguished abilities and learning by all who knew him; but the peculiar traits of benevolence, nobleness of mind, sincerity and sweetness of temper, which adorned his character, couldonly be duly appreciated by those who were honored with his friendship.

MrBuckminster was so kind as to give me the use of his large and valuable library, which was of great advantage to me in compiling my History of the Jews. In my efforts to complete the work, I was encouraged and animated by his participating in the interest I felt in this extraordinary people. Though entering into the details of the sufferings of the persecuted Jewish Nation, yet the enthusiasmMrBuckminster inspired, and the pleasure of conversing with him upon a subject with which he was intimately acquainted, rendered the time I was writing my History one of the happiest periods of my life. I completed my work in 1812, a few months before his death.

In the year 1812 I sustained a severe affliction, by the sudden death ofMrBuckminster. Amidst the large number who lamented his death, I believe there was none (except his near relations) who felt more distressed than myself. I desire, however, to be grateful to divine Providence for the privilege of his acquaintance and friendship.

While my feelings were deeply susceptible from the recent wound they had received by the death ofMrBuckminster, I went to Medfield to visit my aged father, with the hope that I might do something to administer to his comfort, and in this way soothe my own grief. But while I was with him, he was seized with a complaint which put a period to his life. Though from his age, and infirmities, I had been often led to anticipate this event, I found it very trying when I actually realized it. He had been a very kind parent to me, and though he could not bestow any property upon me, he was very solicitous to aid me as far as he could. He was a great assistant to me both in procuring books, and in disposing of my works. During the last years of his life, he was assiduously engaged in studying the sacred Scriptures, with the assistance of all the commentaries he could procure. In the funeral sermon preached upon his death, theRev.Dr Prentiss observes, ‘He was ever strongly attached to the society of literary and serious people, particularly of the clergy, with a number of whom he kept up a friendly intercourse.There is reason to believe, that by his exertions for many years he contributed in no small degree to the diffusion of knowledge and piety, and to the advancement of the cause of Christ.’ My father’s love of books continued till the last. He read, and heard reading, on the day on which he expired. My residence in Boston enabled me to procure books for his perusal, and it afforded me great pleasure to be thus permitted to gratify my honored parent.

When, after the death of my father, I returned to Boston, my mind was depressed with my recent losses. But I was sensible that I was still favored with many inestimable privileges.MrBuckminster had been so kind as to introduce me to a number of his acquaintances, who treated me with that genuine kindness which is the essence of true politeness.

Among the number of those excellent friends, to whomMrBuckminster was so kind as to introduce me, I would particularly recognise Mrs Dearborn, and Mrs Winthrop,who shone in the circles of polished life, and adorned their eminent stations by their engaging manners, and highly cultivated minds; and still more, by their christian virtues. They were blessings to those around them; and for a course of years favored me with their attention, and kind offices. When they were removed by death to a higher state of existence, I deeply mourned the heavy and irreparable loss I sustained.

While deeply indebted to the bounty of my dear and honored friends, I wished to pursue my literary occupations with as much diligence as my health would permit. But in the decline of life, I was so far debilitated by repeated fevers, at small intervals from each other, that I was unable to write for the press. At length, I so far recovered, as to resume a work I had formerly begun, upon the New Testament, which I designed to be much larger than it is; but my advanced age induced me only to publish a little book, entitled, ‘Letters on the Gospels,’ which has passed through two editions.

I have already mentioned the perplexityand embarrassment of my mind, while writing my View of Religions. After removing to Boston, and residing in that city while the disputes upon Unitarian sentiments were warmly agitated, I read all that came in my way upon both sides of the question; and carefully examined the New Testament, with, I think, a sincere and ardent desire to know the truth. I deeply felt the difficulties upon both sides of the question; yet prevailingly give the preference to that class of Unitarians, who adopt the highest idea of the greatness and dignity of the Son of God. I never arrived to that degree of decision that some have attained on that subject. In this, and every other disputable subject, I would adopt the following lines;

If I am right, thy grace impartStill in the right to stay;If I am wrong, O teach my heart,To find the better way.

If I am right, thy grace impart

Still in the right to stay;

If I am wrong, O teach my heart,

To find the better way.

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