XLII.THAT OF THE ARTICULATING SKELETON.
There was a worthy Doctor onceWho unlike Mother HubbardHadmanybones (a skeleton)Shut up within a cupboard.One night the worthy Doctor dreamt,(He'd been up rather late)His articulated skeletonDid thus articulate:—
There was a worthy Doctor onceWho unlike Mother HubbardHadmanybones (a skeleton)Shut up within a cupboard.One night the worthy Doctor dreamt,(He'd been up rather late)His articulated skeletonDid thus articulate:—
There was a worthy Doctor onceWho unlike Mother HubbardHadmanybones (a skeleton)Shut up within a cupboard.
There was a worthy Doctor once
Who unlike Mother Hubbard
Hadmanybones (a skeleton)
Shut up within a cupboard.
One night the worthy Doctor dreamt,(He'd been up rather late)His articulated skeletonDid thus articulate:—
One night the worthy Doctor dreamt,
(He'd been up rather late)
His articulated skeleton
Did thus articulate:—
"Come! Doctor, come! confess that you're a fraudA very specious humbug and a sham.Though meek as any lamb.Don't glare at me! I'll tell it not abroadBut merely inyourears alone applaudThe wily artifice of pill and dram."Youknow as well as I do, you don't mean,One half the things you tell 'our patient.' No!Why, I can clearly show,That Mrs. Gobbles' ailments are but spleen,('Tis quite the simplest cause that e'er was seen)And yet what crack-jaw names you now bestow."Because, forsooth, the longer you can preyUpon her pocket,thatdoth please you best,So, Doctor, you protest'The case is serious,' from day to day,'And it must run its course,' you gravely sayWith wisest head-shake and a look distressed."And then those pills! Absurd you know to tryTo gammonmewith bolluses of bread;While Aqua P. I've said,Often, is good (if nothing else be nigh)To drink when thirsty and our throats are dry,Butnotfor medicine—though coloured red."So, Doctor, when we're by ourselves alone,Don't try to put on 'side' with me, good lack,For I can surely trackFull many a 'fatal case' you'd fain disown.AndIcan tell aright why you should groanWhen harmless ducks in passing cry 'Quack! Quack!'* * *The Doctor woke. "Dear me!" said he,"This skeleton's too wiseFor me." He therefore packed it up,And sent it off to Guy's.
"Come! Doctor, come! confess that you're a fraudA very specious humbug and a sham.Though meek as any lamb.Don't glare at me! I'll tell it not abroadBut merely inyourears alone applaudThe wily artifice of pill and dram."Youknow as well as I do, you don't mean,One half the things you tell 'our patient.' No!Why, I can clearly show,That Mrs. Gobbles' ailments are but spleen,('Tis quite the simplest cause that e'er was seen)And yet what crack-jaw names you now bestow."Because, forsooth, the longer you can preyUpon her pocket,thatdoth please you best,So, Doctor, you protest'The case is serious,' from day to day,'And it must run its course,' you gravely sayWith wisest head-shake and a look distressed."And then those pills! Absurd you know to tryTo gammonmewith bolluses of bread;While Aqua P. I've said,Often, is good (if nothing else be nigh)To drink when thirsty and our throats are dry,Butnotfor medicine—though coloured red."So, Doctor, when we're by ourselves alone,Don't try to put on 'side' with me, good lack,For I can surely trackFull many a 'fatal case' you'd fain disown.AndIcan tell aright why you should groanWhen harmless ducks in passing cry 'Quack! Quack!'* * *The Doctor woke. "Dear me!" said he,"This skeleton's too wiseFor me." He therefore packed it up,And sent it off to Guy's.
"Come! Doctor, come! confess that you're a fraudA very specious humbug and a sham.Though meek as any lamb.Don't glare at me! I'll tell it not abroadBut merely inyourears alone applaudThe wily artifice of pill and dram.
"Come! Doctor, come! confess that you're a fraud
A very specious humbug and a sham.
Though meek as any lamb.
Don't glare at me! I'll tell it not abroad
But merely inyourears alone applaud
The wily artifice of pill and dram.
"Youknow as well as I do, you don't mean,One half the things you tell 'our patient.' No!Why, I can clearly show,That Mrs. Gobbles' ailments are but spleen,('Tis quite the simplest cause that e'er was seen)And yet what crack-jaw names you now bestow.
"Youknow as well as I do, you don't mean,
One half the things you tell 'our patient.' No!
Why, I can clearly show,
That Mrs. Gobbles' ailments are but spleen,
('Tis quite the simplest cause that e'er was seen)
And yet what crack-jaw names you now bestow.
"Because, forsooth, the longer you can preyUpon her pocket,thatdoth please you best,So, Doctor, you protest'The case is serious,' from day to day,'And it must run its course,' you gravely sayWith wisest head-shake and a look distressed.
"Because, forsooth, the longer you can prey
Upon her pocket,thatdoth please you best,
So, Doctor, you protest
'The case is serious,' from day to day,
'And it must run its course,' you gravely say
With wisest head-shake and a look distressed.
"And then those pills! Absurd you know to tryTo gammonmewith bolluses of bread;While Aqua P. I've said,Often, is good (if nothing else be nigh)To drink when thirsty and our throats are dry,Butnotfor medicine—though coloured red.
"And then those pills! Absurd you know to try
To gammonmewith bolluses of bread;
While Aqua P. I've said,
Often, is good (if nothing else be nigh)
To drink when thirsty and our throats are dry,
Butnotfor medicine—though coloured red.
"So, Doctor, when we're by ourselves alone,Don't try to put on 'side' with me, good lack,For I can surely trackFull many a 'fatal case' you'd fain disown.AndIcan tell aright why you should groanWhen harmless ducks in passing cry 'Quack! Quack!'
"So, Doctor, when we're by ourselves alone,
Don't try to put on 'side' with me, good lack,
For I can surely track
Full many a 'fatal case' you'd fain disown.
AndIcan tell aright why you should groan
When harmless ducks in passing cry 'Quack! Quack!'
* * *
* * *
The Doctor woke. "Dear me!" said he,"This skeleton's too wiseFor me." He therefore packed it up,And sent it off to Guy's.
The Doctor woke. "Dear me!" said he,
"This skeleton's too wise
For me." He therefore packed it up,
And sent it off to Guy's.