XLIV.THAT OF THE BARGAIN SALE.
I sing of Mrs. Tomkins-Smythe,And Mrs. Gibson-Brown;Two ladies resident withinA square, near Camden Town.Good neighbours they had been, and friends,For twenty years, or more;The Tomkins-Smythes they lived at "6,"The Gibson-Browns at "4."'Twas in that season of the yearWhen drapers' bargain salesDo fascinate the female mind,And vex the married males.An illustrated catalogueArrived at "Number 4,"Which Mrs. Gibson-Brown took inTo show her friend next door."My dear!" she cried in eager tones,"Suchbargains! Gracious me!Here'sthisreduced from two-and-sixTo one eleven-three!
I sing of Mrs. Tomkins-Smythe,And Mrs. Gibson-Brown;Two ladies resident withinA square, near Camden Town.Good neighbours they had been, and friends,For twenty years, or more;The Tomkins-Smythes they lived at "6,"The Gibson-Browns at "4."'Twas in that season of the yearWhen drapers' bargain salesDo fascinate the female mind,And vex the married males.An illustrated catalogueArrived at "Number 4,"Which Mrs. Gibson-Brown took inTo show her friend next door."My dear!" she cried in eager tones,"Suchbargains! Gracious me!Here'sthisreduced from two-and-sixTo one eleven-three!
I sing of Mrs. Tomkins-Smythe,And Mrs. Gibson-Brown;Two ladies resident withinA square, near Camden Town.
I sing of Mrs. Tomkins-Smythe,
And Mrs. Gibson-Brown;
Two ladies resident within
A square, near Camden Town.
Good neighbours they had been, and friends,For twenty years, or more;The Tomkins-Smythes they lived at "6,"The Gibson-Browns at "4."
Good neighbours they had been, and friends,
For twenty years, or more;
The Tomkins-Smythes they lived at "6,"
The Gibson-Browns at "4."
'Twas in that season of the yearWhen drapers' bargain salesDo fascinate the female mind,And vex the married males.
'Twas in that season of the year
When drapers' bargain sales
Do fascinate the female mind,
And vex the married males.
An illustrated catalogueArrived at "Number 4,"Which Mrs. Gibson-Brown took inTo show her friend next door.
An illustrated catalogue
Arrived at "Number 4,"
Which Mrs. Gibson-Brown took in
To show her friend next door.
"My dear!" she cried in eager tones,"Suchbargains! Gracious me!Here'sthisreduced from two-and-sixTo one eleven-three!
"My dear!" she cried in eager tones,
"Suchbargains! Gracious me!
Here'sthisreduced from two-and-six
To one eleven-three!
"Andthosewhich you remember, dear,We thought so very nice,They're selling off at really anAlarming sacrifice!""Thoseremnants—" Mrs. Tomkins-SmytheRemained to hear no more;She jabbed her bonnet on with pins,And hurried to the door.A tram, a 'bus, the tupp'ny tube,And they were quickly there;And joining in the buzzing crowdOf other ladies fair.They pulled at this, they tugged at that,They turned and tumbled those;And pushed, and crowded with the best,And trod on people's toes.They glared at other buyers, andForestalled them—when they could;And behaved, indeed, exactly,Asat salesall ladies should.Till with heavy parcels laden,Breathless, but with keen delight,They beheld the remnant counter("Second turning to the right.")And (alas! how small a matterMay entirely change life's view)Both in the self-same instantSaw a remnant—Navy blue.They each reached out to take it."'Tis mine!" they both did cry."I saw it first, my dearest love.""No, darling, it was I."
"Andthosewhich you remember, dear,We thought so very nice,They're selling off at really anAlarming sacrifice!""Thoseremnants—" Mrs. Tomkins-SmytheRemained to hear no more;She jabbed her bonnet on with pins,And hurried to the door.A tram, a 'bus, the tupp'ny tube,And they were quickly there;And joining in the buzzing crowdOf other ladies fair.They pulled at this, they tugged at that,They turned and tumbled those;And pushed, and crowded with the best,And trod on people's toes.They glared at other buyers, andForestalled them—when they could;And behaved, indeed, exactly,Asat salesall ladies should.Till with heavy parcels laden,Breathless, but with keen delight,They beheld the remnant counter("Second turning to the right.")And (alas! how small a matterMay entirely change life's view)Both in the self-same instantSaw a remnant—Navy blue.They each reached out to take it."'Tis mine!" they both did cry."I saw it first, my dearest love.""No, darling, it was I."
"Andthosewhich you remember, dear,We thought so very nice,They're selling off at really anAlarming sacrifice!"
"Andthosewhich you remember, dear,
We thought so very nice,
They're selling off at really an
Alarming sacrifice!"
"Thoseremnants—" Mrs. Tomkins-SmytheRemained to hear no more;She jabbed her bonnet on with pins,And hurried to the door.
"Thoseremnants—" Mrs. Tomkins-Smythe
Remained to hear no more;
She jabbed her bonnet on with pins,
And hurried to the door.
A tram, a 'bus, the tupp'ny tube,And they were quickly there;And joining in the buzzing crowdOf other ladies fair.
A tram, a 'bus, the tupp'ny tube,
And they were quickly there;
And joining in the buzzing crowd
Of other ladies fair.
They pulled at this, they tugged at that,They turned and tumbled those;And pushed, and crowded with the best,And trod on people's toes.
They pulled at this, they tugged at that,
They turned and tumbled those;
And pushed, and crowded with the best,
And trod on people's toes.
They glared at other buyers, andForestalled them—when they could;And behaved, indeed, exactly,Asat salesall ladies should.
They glared at other buyers, and
Forestalled them—when they could;
And behaved, indeed, exactly,
Asat salesall ladies should.
Till with heavy parcels laden,Breathless, but with keen delight,They beheld the remnant counter("Second turning to the right.")
Till with heavy parcels laden,
Breathless, but with keen delight,
They beheld the remnant counter
("Second turning to the right.")
And (alas! how small a matterMay entirely change life's view)Both in the self-same instantSaw a remnant—Navy blue.
And (alas! how small a matter
May entirely change life's view)
Both in the self-same instant
Saw a remnant—Navy blue.
They each reached out to take it."'Tis mine!" they both did cry."I saw it first, my dearest love.""No, darling, it was I."
They each reached out to take it.
"'Tis mine!" they both did cry.
"I saw it first, my dearest love."
"No, darling, it was I."
"Myremnant, and I'll buy it!""Indeed? I think youwon't!""Pooh! madame, I will have it!""I'll see, ma'am, that you don't!"And thus, and thus—oh, woesome sight—They quarrelled, nor would stopUntil the shopwalker he cameAnd turned them from the shop.* * *They never made the quarrel up,And now, with icy stare,They pass each other in the streetWith noses in the air.
"Myremnant, and I'll buy it!""Indeed? I think youwon't!""Pooh! madame, I will have it!""I'll see, ma'am, that you don't!"And thus, and thus—oh, woesome sight—They quarrelled, nor would stopUntil the shopwalker he cameAnd turned them from the shop.* * *They never made the quarrel up,And now, with icy stare,They pass each other in the streetWith noses in the air.
"Myremnant, and I'll buy it!""Indeed? I think youwon't!""Pooh! madame, I will have it!""I'll see, ma'am, that you don't!"
"Myremnant, and I'll buy it!"
"Indeed? I think youwon't!"
"Pooh! madame, I will have it!"
"I'll see, ma'am, that you don't!"
And thus, and thus—oh, woesome sight—They quarrelled, nor would stopUntil the shopwalker he cameAnd turned them from the shop.
And thus, and thus—oh, woesome sight—
They quarrelled, nor would stop
Until the shopwalker he came
And turned them from the shop.
* * *
* * *
They never made the quarrel up,And now, with icy stare,They pass each other in the streetWith noses in the air.
They never made the quarrel up,
And now, with icy stare,
They pass each other in the street
With noses in the air.