“May the hour of trial and grief bring its blessing with it, and not have come in vain! The day passes so quickly, when one can do good and make others happy—and one leaves always so much undone.” (August 2, 1873.)
“May the hour of trial and grief bring its blessing with it, and not have come in vain! The day passes so quickly, when one can do good and make others happy—and one leaves always so much undone.” (August 2, 1873.)
THIS year began brightly and happily to the Prince and Princess, for little Prince Fritz, whose health had often given rise to serious anxiety, seemed stronger and better. In March the Princess at last was able to carry out her long-cherished wish to visit Italy. She travelled incognita, accompanied by Miss Hardinge and Hofrath Ruland. The journey was made in a comparatively short time, but was thoroughly successful. The Princess travelled from Darmstadt by Munich and the Brenner Pass to Florence, where she spent three days, and from there went straight on to Rome.
During her stay in the “eternal city” she employed her mornings in visiting the many beautiful picture-galleries, the churches, and the ruins of ancient Rome. In the afternoons she made longer excursions into the neighborhood, visiting the more distant churches in the Campagna, as well as thecelebrated villas of Albani, Ludovisi, Borghese, etc. She used to spend her evenings in talking over and discussing all the objects of interest she had seen during the day. The Princess with her wonderful power of observation was able to do a large amount of sight-seeing in a comparatively short time. She was accompanied by Monsignore Howard (now Cardinal Howard) over St. Peter’s; and he showed her many interesting parts of this glorious edifice, which in general are never shown to Protestants. At the “Farnesina,” the private palace of Count Bermudez, she was received and conducted over it by the Count himself. The ruins of Rome which interested the Princess the most were those which dated from the time of the first Christians, as far back as the early mediæval period, the catacombs of “San Callisto,” and the curious church of “San Clemente.” Amongst the ceremonies of the “Holy Week” the Princess was greatly struck by “The Lamentations,” whilst others made her ask, as all Protestants do, how the pure simple Christian religion could possibly be so misrepresented. After attending all the grand ceremonies of the Church of Rome, the quiet service at the German Embassy made a most happy and peaceful impression on the Princess. She visited the Pope, Pius IX., who received her with his usual winning kindness.[110]She also went to the Quirinal to pay her respects to King Victor Emanuel, and to the Crown Princess of Italy, Princess Margherita.The two Princesses drove together through Rome on the occasion of the celebration of its “birthday,” and witnessed the illumination of the Capitol, Forum, and Colosseum.
On the 13th of April the Princess made a brief excursion to Sorrento by way of Naples, where her father-in-law and the Empress of Russia were staying. On the 24th of April she left with her suite for Florence, travelling by way of Perugia and Lake Thrasimene, through the valley of the Arno. As she had but little time, she was only able to visit the galleries of the Uffizi and Pitti Palaces, the tombs of the Medici in San Lorenzo, the Convent of St. Mark, the Cathedral, the Church of Santa Croce, and the “Museo Nazionale.”
The Princess left Italy on the 28th April, reaching Darmstadt on the 2d of May.
Her journey had been one of thorough enjoyment, and she felt deeply grateful that she had at last been able to see with her own eyes those glorious works of art, which from her childhood she had only been able to picture dimly to herself.
The joy of her reunion with her family was, alas! not to be of long duration. Prince Louis had been obliged to leave Darmstadt early on the morning of the 29th of May to inspect the troops in Upper Hesse, leaving the Princess still in bed, exhausted from the great fatigue of her Italian journey. The two little Princes came to wish her “good-morning,” and by her wish were left in her room by the nurse.The children soon began to play, as was their wont, running in and out of the room into the adjacent one, and looking from one window and then from another. Prince Ernest having run into the next room, the Princess followed him, leaving Prince Fritz in her bedroom. During her almost momentary absence he fell out of the window on to the stone terrace below. Whether he had leaned too far out of it and overbalanced himself, or whether in running fast through the room to the window to look for his brother he could not stop himself and fell from it, no one actually knows. He was picked up insensible, and died a few hours afterward in the arms of his distracted mother. Effusion of blood on the brain caused by the fall ended that young and bright little life. The loss of this unusually-gifted and beloved child was a blow to the mother from which she never recovered. Her married life had till then been such a happy one, that this first sorrow came on her with redoubled force.
On the evening of Whitsunday, June 1st, the beloved little Prince was taken to his last resting-place, at the Rosenhöhe (the Grand Ducal Mausoleum), his parents and sisters and brother being present. It was very long before the Princess at all recovered from the terrible shock of the death of her child, though the sympathy shown to her by her family and friends—indeed, by all—greatly comforted and helped her.
In the autumn the Prince and Princess went toHeiden in Appenzell for a little change. From there they paid a visit to the Prince of Hohenzollern at his castle of the Weinburg. At the end of November they went to England with their three youngest children, and remained there till the 23d of December, when they returned to Darmstadt.
Darmstadt, January 12th.* * * We were both much shocked to hear of the death of the Emperor Napoleon, and I must say grieved; personally he was so amiable, and she is much to be pitied. That he should die an exile in England and, as Louis Phillipe did, is most striking. In England the sympathy shown must touch the poor Empress, and, as I telegraphed, we should be so grateful to you, if you would kindly be the medium through which both of us would like to express to her how much we feel for her. How proud you must ever be, in feeling that your country is the one always able to offer a home and hospitality for those driven away from their own countries! England is before all others in that; and its warm sympathy for those who are in misfortune is such a generous feeling.Fannie Baillie’s Victoria is such a nice girl. She comes to our children every Saturday, and is not above playing at dolls with them, though she is so much older. There are two rather nice little English girls, daughters of the chaplin here, who come to them.
Darmstadt, January 12th.
* * * We were both much shocked to hear of the death of the Emperor Napoleon, and I must say grieved; personally he was so amiable, and she is much to be pitied. That he should die an exile in England and, as Louis Phillipe did, is most striking. In England the sympathy shown must touch the poor Empress, and, as I telegraphed, we should be so grateful to you, if you would kindly be the medium through which both of us would like to express to her how much we feel for her. How proud you must ever be, in feeling that your country is the one always able to offer a home and hospitality for those driven away from their own countries! England is before all others in that; and its warm sympathy for those who are in misfortune is such a generous feeling.
Fannie Baillie’s Victoria is such a nice girl. She comes to our children every Saturday, and is not above playing at dolls with them, though she is so much older. There are two rather nice little English girls, daughters of the chaplin here, who come to them.
February 1st.If any one will feel with us, I know you will do so most. Since three days, with an interruption of one day, poor Frittie has been bleeding incessantly from a slight cut on his ear, which was nearly healed.Since yesterday evening we cannot stop it. All the usual remedies were used, but as yet unavailing. Just now the place has been touched again with caustic and tightly bound, after we had with great trouble got rid of the quantity of dried blood from his hair, ear, neck, etc. He is horrified at the sight of so much blood, but shows great strength as yet in spite of so great a loss. He is of course very irritable, and, as he must not scream, one has to do whatever he wishes, which will spoil him dreadfully. I own I was much upset when I saw that he had this tendency to bleed, and the anxiety for the future, even if he gets well over this, will remain for years to come. All have their trials, one or another, and, please God, we shall bear whatever is sent without complaining. To see one’s own child suffer is for a mother a great trial. With what pleasure one would change places with the little one, and bear its pain!
February 1st.
If any one will feel with us, I know you will do so most. Since three days, with an interruption of one day, poor Frittie has been bleeding incessantly from a slight cut on his ear, which was nearly healed.Since yesterday evening we cannot stop it. All the usual remedies were used, but as yet unavailing. Just now the place has been touched again with caustic and tightly bound, after we had with great trouble got rid of the quantity of dried blood from his hair, ear, neck, etc. He is horrified at the sight of so much blood, but shows great strength as yet in spite of so great a loss. He is of course very irritable, and, as he must not scream, one has to do whatever he wishes, which will spoil him dreadfully. I own I was much upset when I saw that he had this tendency to bleed, and the anxiety for the future, even if he gets well over this, will remain for years to come. All have their trials, one or another, and, please God, we shall bear whatever is sent without complaining. To see one’s own child suffer is for a mother a great trial. With what pleasure one would change places with the little one, and bear its pain!
February 6th.* * * In the summer Fritz had a violent attack of dysentery, which was so prevalent at Darmstadt, and off and on for two months it continued, until Scotland stopped it; and this illness made him sensitive and delicate.* * * What has caused him such great suffering has been that, what with the use of caustic, the tight bandaging and the iron, a quantity of small gatherings formed on his cheek and neck, causing such an amount of pain that he could not remain in bed or anywhere quiet for the two first days and nights. Now they are drying off, the itching is such that he don’t know what to do with himself, and we have the greatest difficulty in keeping him from rubbing or scratching himself. The want of sleep through pain, etc., has excited him very much, so that he hasbeen very difficult to manage. The bandages of course cannot be removed, and great care will be taken when they are removed, lest bleeding should re-commence. He has been out twice a day as usual all along, and his skin never quite lost its pinkness and mottled appearance; all of which are signs that he has good blood and to spare, else he would look worse and have shown weakness, which after all he did not. * * *He speaks well for his age, and is, alas! very wild, so that it will be impossible to keep him from having accidents. * * ** * * I have been playing some lovely things (very difficult) of Chopin lately, which I know you would admire.
February 6th.
* * * In the summer Fritz had a violent attack of dysentery, which was so prevalent at Darmstadt, and off and on for two months it continued, until Scotland stopped it; and this illness made him sensitive and delicate.
* * * What has caused him such great suffering has been that, what with the use of caustic, the tight bandaging and the iron, a quantity of small gatherings formed on his cheek and neck, causing such an amount of pain that he could not remain in bed or anywhere quiet for the two first days and nights. Now they are drying off, the itching is such that he don’t know what to do with himself, and we have the greatest difficulty in keeping him from rubbing or scratching himself. The want of sleep through pain, etc., has excited him very much, so that he hasbeen very difficult to manage. The bandages of course cannot be removed, and great care will be taken when they are removed, lest bleeding should re-commence. He has been out twice a day as usual all along, and his skin never quite lost its pinkness and mottled appearance; all of which are signs that he has good blood and to spare, else he would look worse and have shown weakness, which after all he did not. * * *
He speaks well for his age, and is, alas! very wild, so that it will be impossible to keep him from having accidents. * * *
* * * I have been playing some lovely things (very difficult) of Chopin lately, which I know you would admire.
Darmstadt, February 19th.My best thanks for your dear letter! That I forgot to thank you at once for dear Grandmama’s very beautiful print[111]came from my having the lithograph of that picture in my room always before me, and, though the print far surpasses it, I am so fond of the lithograph, that I forgot the print at the moment I was writing to you. Before that dear picture, the painting of which I recollect so well, my children often sit, and I tell them of her who was and ever will be so inexpressibly dear to us all. In the schoolroom, in my sitting-room, in the nursery, there is, with the pictures of you and dear Papa, always one of dear Grandmama, and, in my room and the schoolroom, the Duke of Kent also.My sitting-room has only prints and lithographs, all Winterhalters, of the family: you and Papa, your receiving the Sacrament at the Coronation, Raphael’s “Disputa” and “Bella Jardiniérre,” and the lovely little engraving of yourself from Winterhalter’s picture in Papa’s room at Windsor.[112]Vicky is coming here on Wednesday. The Grand Duke of Weimar has kindly allowed Mr. Ruland to join us as cicerone: which for galleries, etc., is very necessary, and we take no courier. Rome is our first halting-place in Italy, and for years it has been my dream and wish to be in that wonderful city, where the glorious monuments of antiquity and of the Middle Ages carry one back to those marvellous times.I am learning Italian, and studying the history and art necessary to enable me, in the short time we have, to see and understand the finest and most important monuments. I am so entirely absorbed and interested in these studies just now, that I have not much time for other things. My father-in-law, perhaps Princess Charles too, will be with Aunt Marie of Russia at Sorrento then. William will probably join us at Rome; he is quite a connoisseur in art, and a good historian, quite at home in Rome, about which he raves. I must say that I look forward immensely to this journey; it opens a whole new life to one. * * *Kanné has made all arrangements for us at Rome. We shall leave here about the 18th of March.
Darmstadt, February 19th.
My best thanks for your dear letter! That I forgot to thank you at once for dear Grandmama’s very beautiful print[111]came from my having the lithograph of that picture in my room always before me, and, though the print far surpasses it, I am so fond of the lithograph, that I forgot the print at the moment I was writing to you. Before that dear picture, the painting of which I recollect so well, my children often sit, and I tell them of her who was and ever will be so inexpressibly dear to us all. In the schoolroom, in my sitting-room, in the nursery, there is, with the pictures of you and dear Papa, always one of dear Grandmama, and, in my room and the schoolroom, the Duke of Kent also.
My sitting-room has only prints and lithographs, all Winterhalters, of the family: you and Papa, your receiving the Sacrament at the Coronation, Raphael’s “Disputa” and “Bella Jardiniérre,” and the lovely little engraving of yourself from Winterhalter’s picture in Papa’s room at Windsor.[112]
Vicky is coming here on Wednesday. The Grand Duke of Weimar has kindly allowed Mr. Ruland to join us as cicerone: which for galleries, etc., is very necessary, and we take no courier. Rome is our first halting-place in Italy, and for years it has been my dream and wish to be in that wonderful city, where the glorious monuments of antiquity and of the Middle Ages carry one back to those marvellous times.
I am learning Italian, and studying the history and art necessary to enable me, in the short time we have, to see and understand the finest and most important monuments. I am so entirely absorbed and interested in these studies just now, that I have not much time for other things. My father-in-law, perhaps Princess Charles too, will be with Aunt Marie of Russia at Sorrento then. William will probably join us at Rome; he is quite a connoisseur in art, and a good historian, quite at home in Rome, about which he raves. I must say that I look forward immensely to this journey; it opens a whole new life to one. * * *
Kanné has made all arrangements for us at Rome. We shall leave here about the 18th of March.
Rome,Hôtel Allemagne, March 27th.* * * We left the dear children well, but very sorry at parting. The two days at Munich were most interesting. The National Museum in its way surpasses any I have ever seen, and in originals isricher even than South Kensington. Aunt Mariechen was very kind and dear; the Moriers very amiable hosts, and we met some interesting people there. Two hours before we left, after eight in the evening, Ludwig and Otto[113]came to us and remained some time.The Brenner, over which we came, was covered with snow—most beautiful scenery, like St. Moritz in the Engadine. The journey was very fatiguing. We had a morning for Bologna, and had to wait three hours at Florence for the night train—time enough to drive round and in the town, which is most lovely. What trees, mountains, colors! then the fine buildings!The following morning at six we reached Rome. The sun was bright, the distance blue—the grand ruins dark and sharp against the sky, cypresses, stone pines, large cork oaks, making up such a beautiful picture. Every day I admire the scenery more and more; every little bit of architecture, broken or whole, with a glimpse of the Campagna, a picturesque dirty peasant and a dark tree close by, is a picture in itself which one would like to frame and hang up in one’s room. It is too, too beautiful! To tell you all we have seen and are seeing would tire you. Bertie and Arthur’s descriptions, too, so lately have told you the same.The Via Appia, the grand old road lined with ruins of splendid tombs, leading from Albano through the Campagna to Rome, along which St. Paul went, and the great kings and emperors made their triumphal entries, is a fit one to lead to such a city as Rome, which ruled the world.The antique monuments, those of the MiddleAges, are so magnificent and interesting that as yet I don’t know which to mention first or admire most!Our incognito did not last long (though even now we maintain it), for the Crown Princess heard of us and came to see us, as did the Crown Prince, and we had to go to the Quirinal, a morning visit withoutentourage.
Rome,Hôtel Allemagne, March 27th.
* * * We left the dear children well, but very sorry at parting. The two days at Munich were most interesting. The National Museum in its way surpasses any I have ever seen, and in originals isricher even than South Kensington. Aunt Mariechen was very kind and dear; the Moriers very amiable hosts, and we met some interesting people there. Two hours before we left, after eight in the evening, Ludwig and Otto[113]came to us and remained some time.
The Brenner, over which we came, was covered with snow—most beautiful scenery, like St. Moritz in the Engadine. The journey was very fatiguing. We had a morning for Bologna, and had to wait three hours at Florence for the night train—time enough to drive round and in the town, which is most lovely. What trees, mountains, colors! then the fine buildings!
The following morning at six we reached Rome. The sun was bright, the distance blue—the grand ruins dark and sharp against the sky, cypresses, stone pines, large cork oaks, making up such a beautiful picture. Every day I admire the scenery more and more; every little bit of architecture, broken or whole, with a glimpse of the Campagna, a picturesque dirty peasant and a dark tree close by, is a picture in itself which one would like to frame and hang up in one’s room. It is too, too beautiful! To tell you all we have seen and are seeing would tire you. Bertie and Arthur’s descriptions, too, so lately have told you the same.
The Via Appia, the grand old road lined with ruins of splendid tombs, leading from Albano through the Campagna to Rome, along which St. Paul went, and the great kings and emperors made their triumphal entries, is a fit one to lead to such a city as Rome, which ruled the world.
The antique monuments, those of the MiddleAges, are so magnificent and interesting that as yet I don’t know which to mention first or admire most!
Our incognito did not last long (though even now we maintain it), for the Crown Princess heard of us and came to see us, as did the Crown Prince, and we had to go to the Quirinal, a morning visit withoutentourage.
Palm Sunday,Rome, April 6th.* * * We saw the beginning of mass and blessing of the palms in St. Peter’s this morning, with a procession and beautiful singing. Whilst the procession, with part of the choristers, go outside the church, some remain within, and they respond to each other, which produces a very striking effect. In spite of the bad style inside of St. Peter’s, as a whole it produces a marvellous effect through its wonderful size and richness of decoration.I saw two convents yesterday: the Sepolte Vive, which Bertie and Alix saw, and where the nuns asked much after him, and said that he wasmolto amabile; and another equally strict one, but not austere, where the Superior told me that Aunt Feodore with Princess Hohenzollern had paid them a visit. Monsignore Howard was the only gentleman with me and the ladies, as they never see any men. Their idea is, that they spend the whole of their life in contemplation and prayer, so as to pray for those who cannot pray for themselves.The museums of the Vatican and of the Capitol, with their enormous collection of antiques, are very fine. The celebrated Venus, Apollo Belvidere, the Torso (which Michael Angelo admired so much, and was taken to touch when he could no more see it), the wounded Gladiator, etc., are there. The Sistine Chapel, with Michael Angelo’s frescoes, which arecertainly the most marvellous pieces of painting and conception, is very dark, and the frescoes are suffering much from the smoke, dust, etc. Raphael’s Stanze are far better preserved, and lighter than I had expected, and of such beauty!I thought so often and so much of dear Papa, when I saw the originals of all the pictures he so much admired and took such interest in. How this alone fascinates me I cannot tell you. In these galleries and churches there is only too much to be seen, besides the antique ruins, etc. You would be terrified to see how full our day is from before nine. Mr. Ruland is an excellent cicerone for pictures and sculptures. William is with us here since last Sunday.We are going to the Villa Ludovisi this afternoon. The gardens of the Villa Doria Pamfili are most beautiful: the terraces there remind me of Osborne. I can see in many things where dear Papa got his ideas from for Osborne and for his decorations, which Professor Gruner understood so well to carry out.Many thanks for your having told Lady Churchill to send me an account of your opening of the Park.[114]I am glad that all went off so well, and that you were not the worse for it.I have quite refused going to Naples. We shall arrange probably to go for two days to Castellamare (one hour from Naples); from thence to Sorrento and Pompeii, and return here. As yet it is not hot here at all.
Palm Sunday,Rome, April 6th.
* * * We saw the beginning of mass and blessing of the palms in St. Peter’s this morning, with a procession and beautiful singing. Whilst the procession, with part of the choristers, go outside the church, some remain within, and they respond to each other, which produces a very striking effect. In spite of the bad style inside of St. Peter’s, as a whole it produces a marvellous effect through its wonderful size and richness of decoration.
I saw two convents yesterday: the Sepolte Vive, which Bertie and Alix saw, and where the nuns asked much after him, and said that he wasmolto amabile; and another equally strict one, but not austere, where the Superior told me that Aunt Feodore with Princess Hohenzollern had paid them a visit. Monsignore Howard was the only gentleman with me and the ladies, as they never see any men. Their idea is, that they spend the whole of their life in contemplation and prayer, so as to pray for those who cannot pray for themselves.
The museums of the Vatican and of the Capitol, with their enormous collection of antiques, are very fine. The celebrated Venus, Apollo Belvidere, the Torso (which Michael Angelo admired so much, and was taken to touch when he could no more see it), the wounded Gladiator, etc., are there. The Sistine Chapel, with Michael Angelo’s frescoes, which arecertainly the most marvellous pieces of painting and conception, is very dark, and the frescoes are suffering much from the smoke, dust, etc. Raphael’s Stanze are far better preserved, and lighter than I had expected, and of such beauty!
I thought so often and so much of dear Papa, when I saw the originals of all the pictures he so much admired and took such interest in. How this alone fascinates me I cannot tell you. In these galleries and churches there is only too much to be seen, besides the antique ruins, etc. You would be terrified to see how full our day is from before nine. Mr. Ruland is an excellent cicerone for pictures and sculptures. William is with us here since last Sunday.
We are going to the Villa Ludovisi this afternoon. The gardens of the Villa Doria Pamfili are most beautiful: the terraces there remind me of Osborne. I can see in many things where dear Papa got his ideas from for Osborne and for his decorations, which Professor Gruner understood so well to carry out.
Many thanks for your having told Lady Churchill to send me an account of your opening of the Park.[114]I am glad that all went off so well, and that you were not the worse for it.
I have quite refused going to Naples. We shall arrange probably to go for two days to Castellamare (one hour from Naples); from thence to Sorrento and Pompeii, and return here. As yet it is not hot here at all.
Rome, April 9th.Let me thank you for your letter written on ourdear Victoria’s birthday. I have never been away from her on her birthday before, and though we see such fine interesting things, yet I feel very homesick for the dear children always. In three weeks or less I shall see them again. I look forward all the time with perfect impatience, as I am so rarely separated from them, and we live so much together. Every other day Fräulein Kitz and Orchard write, so that I have news daily.Louis’ father wrote me to-day, as his sister asks us to her house at Sorrento for one or two nights for the 12th; but as I was rather deranged from a sick headache yesterday, I shall wait a day before we decide. It is wet and quite cold to-day.We visited San Clemente two days ago, and Father Mulooly took us through the three churches—one under the other. The antique one was full of water, and we walked about on rickety planks, each with a lighted taper, as it is quite dark there. It is most curious, and the old paintings on the walls telling the legend of St. Clement are wonderfully full of expression and feeling for the time they were done.
Rome, April 9th.
Let me thank you for your letter written on ourdear Victoria’s birthday. I have never been away from her on her birthday before, and though we see such fine interesting things, yet I feel very homesick for the dear children always. In three weeks or less I shall see them again. I look forward all the time with perfect impatience, as I am so rarely separated from them, and we live so much together. Every other day Fräulein Kitz and Orchard write, so that I have news daily.
Louis’ father wrote me to-day, as his sister asks us to her house at Sorrento for one or two nights for the 12th; but as I was rather deranged from a sick headache yesterday, I shall wait a day before we decide. It is wet and quite cold to-day.
We visited San Clemente two days ago, and Father Mulooly took us through the three churches—one under the other. The antique one was full of water, and we walked about on rickety planks, each with a lighted taper, as it is quite dark there. It is most curious, and the old paintings on the walls telling the legend of St. Clement are wonderfully full of expression and feeling for the time they were done.
Rome, April 19th.* * * Our visit to Sorrento went off well. We got there at one on Monday morning for luncheon. The sun had given me a dreadful headache, which ended in sickness, so that I could not leave my room. Marie sat with me, and was very dear and kind. The next day, she and my Aunt, who seems tired and dispirited, had bad headaches. We went with my father-in-law and some of the ladies and gentlemen on the following afternoon in the Empress’ yacht to Capri, close by, to see the blue grotto.The Bay of Naples, particularly seen from Sorrento, is most lovely—like a beautiful dream—the colors, the outlines are so perfect.We breakfasted together in the morning with Aunt and Marie, and on Tuesday we took our leave.We shall go to Florence the 23d, (the first station homeward); remain there three or four days; one night at Verona, and then home. It is a fatiguing journey, and we have so often had people in the carriage, which is very unpleasant—some very rude English, going to Sorrento; they did not know us.
Rome, April 19th.
* * * Our visit to Sorrento went off well. We got there at one on Monday morning for luncheon. The sun had given me a dreadful headache, which ended in sickness, so that I could not leave my room. Marie sat with me, and was very dear and kind. The next day, she and my Aunt, who seems tired and dispirited, had bad headaches. We went with my father-in-law and some of the ladies and gentlemen on the following afternoon in the Empress’ yacht to Capri, close by, to see the blue grotto.
The Bay of Naples, particularly seen from Sorrento, is most lovely—like a beautiful dream—the colors, the outlines are so perfect.
We breakfasted together in the morning with Aunt and Marie, and on Tuesday we took our leave.
We shall go to Florence the 23d, (the first station homeward); remain there three or four days; one night at Verona, and then home. It is a fatiguing journey, and we have so often had people in the carriage, which is very unpleasant—some very rude English, going to Sorrento; they did not know us.
Florence, April 25th.Your kind wishes I received early this morning. Thousand thanks for them, and for the presents which I shall find on getting home.I shall be so glad to have a large photograph of yourself. Thirty years! Good-bye, youth! but I feel quite as old as I am, though the time has flown by so fast. I would it had flown as well as it has fast! I look back to the past with great gratitude to the Almighty for innumerable blessings, and pray our life may continue so blest. I have a very bad headache—neuralgia; I have it continually; and the journey is very long and tiring. Darling Ernie wanted to buy something for my birthday, and he thought a china doll with a bath would be the best. I am glad Victoria remembered to write to Beatrice as I told her; they are very fond of their Auntie.Florence seems a beautiful town, and the situation amongst the hills, over which the suburbs spread, is most picturesque.I enclose the last telegrams from Sorrento. It isfièvre du payswhich Marie had. We remained at Rome a day longer on account of poor Alfred. He is very patient and hopeful.The King, whom we saw at the races, sends youhis respects, and was delighted with the cream-colored horse you sent him. Many thanks for the flowers. I enclose two from here. The account of your giving away the colors[115]I had already read with interest.We must go to the Grand Duchess Marie to-morrow; Monday to Verona, twelve hours; next morning to Munich, and that night to Darmstadt. How I look forward to seeing the dear children! It seems to me an age since we parted.
Florence, April 25th.
Your kind wishes I received early this morning. Thousand thanks for them, and for the presents which I shall find on getting home.
I shall be so glad to have a large photograph of yourself. Thirty years! Good-bye, youth! but I feel quite as old as I am, though the time has flown by so fast. I would it had flown as well as it has fast! I look back to the past with great gratitude to the Almighty for innumerable blessings, and pray our life may continue so blest. I have a very bad headache—neuralgia; I have it continually; and the journey is very long and tiring. Darling Ernie wanted to buy something for my birthday, and he thought a china doll with a bath would be the best. I am glad Victoria remembered to write to Beatrice as I told her; they are very fond of their Auntie.
Florence seems a beautiful town, and the situation amongst the hills, over which the suburbs spread, is most picturesque.
I enclose the last telegrams from Sorrento. It isfièvre du payswhich Marie had. We remained at Rome a day longer on account of poor Alfred. He is very patient and hopeful.
The King, whom we saw at the races, sends youhis respects, and was delighted with the cream-colored horse you sent him. Many thanks for the flowers. I enclose two from here. The account of your giving away the colors[115]I had already read with interest.
We must go to the Grand Duchess Marie to-morrow; Monday to Verona, twelve hours; next morning to Munich, and that night to Darmstadt. How I look forward to seeing the dear children! It seems to me an age since we parted.
Darmstadt, June 9th.Tender thanks for your last letter, and for every word of sympathy! The weary days drag on, and bring much pain at times, though there are moments of comfort, and even consolation.The horror of my darling’s sudden death[116]at times torments me too much, particularly waking of a morning; but when I think he is at rest, free from the sorrow we are suffering, and from every evil to come, I feel quite resigned. He was such a bright child. It seems so quiet next door; I miss the little feet, the coming to me, for we lived so much together, and Ernie feels so lost, poor love.We were at the Mausoleum with all the children yesterday evening. It is a quiet spot amidst trees and flowers, with a lovely view toward the hills and plain. He loved flowers so much. I can’t see one along the roadside without wishing to pick it for him.There is a young sculptor from Stuttgart, who was accidently here, and, meeting the children, had asked permission to make medallions of them. Thelastafternoon sweet Frittie had sat to him, and he is now making a lovely bust of him, which is getting very like.On Wednesday my mother-in-law, with her three sons, goes to Berlin; on Thursday Uncle Adalbert[117]will be buried in the Dom.We sha’n’t be able to go to Seeheim until Saturday.Howtoo kindof you to have asked us to Osborne! How a rest and home air would have revived me—and the pleasure of seeing you again; but Louis cannot leave until after his birthday. If he did get leave, it would so throw him out before he has to command; and, having been absent this spring, he feels it an impossibility, and this I am sure you will understand. I could not leave him or the children. Our circle has grown smaller, and drawn us all the more together with a dread of parting from each other. We thank you a thousand times for the kind offer.
Darmstadt, June 9th.
Tender thanks for your last letter, and for every word of sympathy! The weary days drag on, and bring much pain at times, though there are moments of comfort, and even consolation.
The horror of my darling’s sudden death[116]at times torments me too much, particularly waking of a morning; but when I think he is at rest, free from the sorrow we are suffering, and from every evil to come, I feel quite resigned. He was such a bright child. It seems so quiet next door; I miss the little feet, the coming to me, for we lived so much together, and Ernie feels so lost, poor love.
We were at the Mausoleum with all the children yesterday evening. It is a quiet spot amidst trees and flowers, with a lovely view toward the hills and plain. He loved flowers so much. I can’t see one along the roadside without wishing to pick it for him.
There is a young sculptor from Stuttgart, who was accidently here, and, meeting the children, had asked permission to make medallions of them. Thelastafternoon sweet Frittie had sat to him, and he is now making a lovely bust of him, which is getting very like.
On Wednesday my mother-in-law, with her three sons, goes to Berlin; on Thursday Uncle Adalbert[117]will be buried in the Dom.
We sha’n’t be able to go to Seeheim until Saturday.
Howtoo kindof you to have asked us to Osborne! How a rest and home air would have revived me—and the pleasure of seeing you again; but Louis cannot leave until after his birthday. If he did get leave, it would so throw him out before he has to command; and, having been absent this spring, he feels it an impossibility, and this I am sure you will understand. I could not leave him or the children. Our circle has grown smaller, and drawn us all the more together with a dread of parting from each other. We thank you a thousand times for the kind offer.
Seeheim, June 22d.* * * I do earnestly hope that too long a time may not elapse before we meet.It is very hot, and I feel very low and unhappy.To-morrow this house will be full, and all the Russians, etc., close by. Had there only been any other quiet country place to be at, how gladly would I have escaped this.* * * It is only three weeks to-day since we took our darling to his last resting-place! I wish I could go there to-day, but it is too hot and too far.Fritz and Louise of Baden came two days ago to Darmstadt, to see my parents-in-law and us.Dr. Macleod’s letter is very kind.I enclose two photographs of dear Frittie out of groups, the negative of one of which unluckily does not exist any more. The little blouse is the one he had on on that terrible day. My darling sweet child—to have lost him so! To my grave shall I carry this sorrow with me.In the book you sent me there is a fine poem by Miss Procter, “Our grief, our friend,” called “Friend Sorrow,” which expresses so much what I myself feel about a deep grief.
Seeheim, June 22d.
* * * I do earnestly hope that too long a time may not elapse before we meet.
It is very hot, and I feel very low and unhappy.
To-morrow this house will be full, and all the Russians, etc., close by. Had there only been any other quiet country place to be at, how gladly would I have escaped this.
* * * It is only three weeks to-day since we took our darling to his last resting-place! I wish I could go there to-day, but it is too hot and too far.
Fritz and Louise of Baden came two days ago to Darmstadt, to see my parents-in-law and us.
Dr. Macleod’s letter is very kind.
I enclose two photographs of dear Frittie out of groups, the negative of one of which unluckily does not exist any more. The little blouse is the one he had on on that terrible day. My darling sweet child—to have lost him so! To my grave shall I carry this sorrow with me.
In the book you sent me there is a fine poem by Miss Procter, “Our grief, our friend,” called “Friend Sorrow,” which expresses so much what I myself feel about a deep grief.
Seeheim, June 27th.* * * It was just four weeks yesterday since our darling died, and we went to the Mausoleum. I felt the whole weight of my sorrow, and the terrible shock doubly again. But the precious child does not—that is a comfort. He is happy and at rest, whilst we grieve and mourn. Ernie always prays for Frittie, and talks to me of him when we walk together.Aunt Marie arrived at two on Monday, and a few hours later came to see me, and was so sympathizing, motherly, and loving; it touched me much. At such moments she is peculiarly soft and womanly, and she loves her own children so tenderly. She cried much, and told me of the sad death of her eldest girl, who was seven, and of the terrible, irreparable loss her eldest son was to her. She has such a religious, truly resigned way of looking at great sorrows such as these. In the room I am now living in Aunt Marie had seen Frittie in his bath two years ago, and she remembered all about him. She is coming to “Sunshine’s” toilet this evening; it always amuses her, and she is very fond of the children.
Seeheim, June 27th.
* * * It was just four weeks yesterday since our darling died, and we went to the Mausoleum. I felt the whole weight of my sorrow, and the terrible shock doubly again. But the precious child does not—that is a comfort. He is happy and at rest, whilst we grieve and mourn. Ernie always prays for Frittie, and talks to me of him when we walk together.
Aunt Marie arrived at two on Monday, and a few hours later came to see me, and was so sympathizing, motherly, and loving; it touched me much. At such moments she is peculiarly soft and womanly, and she loves her own children so tenderly. She cried much, and told me of the sad death of her eldest girl, who was seven, and of the terrible, irreparable loss her eldest son was to her. She has such a religious, truly resigned way of looking at great sorrows such as these. In the room I am now living in Aunt Marie had seen Frittie in his bath two years ago, and she remembered all about him. She is coming to “Sunshine’s” toilet this evening; it always amuses her, and she is very fond of the children.
Seeheim, July 9th.* * * There are days which seem harder thanothers, and when I feel very heartsick, prayer and quiet and solitude do me good.I hear Affie comes on Thursday night. This evening the Emperor arrives. Poor Marie[118]is very happy, and so quiet. * * * How I feel for the parents, this only daughter (a character ofHingebung[perfect devotion] to those she loves), the last child entirely at home, as the parents are so much away that the two youngest, on account of their studies, no more travel about.
Seeheim, July 9th.
* * * There are days which seem harder thanothers, and when I feel very heartsick, prayer and quiet and solitude do me good.
I hear Affie comes on Thursday night. This evening the Emperor arrives. Poor Marie[118]is very happy, and so quiet. * * * How I feel for the parents, this only daughter (a character ofHingebung[perfect devotion] to those she loves), the last child entirely at home, as the parents are so much away that the two youngest, on account of their studies, no more travel about.
Seeheim, July 26th.* * * I am glad that you have a little colored picture of my darling. I feel lower and sadder than ever, and miss him so much, so continually. There is such a gap between Ernie and Sunny, and the two boys were such a pretty pair, and were become such companions. Having so many girls, I was so proud of our two boys! The pleasure did not last long, but he isminemore than ever now. He seems near me always, and I carry his precious image in my heart everywhere. That can never fade or die!
Seeheim, July 26th.
* * * I am glad that you have a little colored picture of my darling. I feel lower and sadder than ever, and miss him so much, so continually. There is such a gap between Ernie and Sunny, and the two boys were such a pretty pair, and were become such companions. Having so many girls, I was so proud of our two boys! The pleasure did not last long, but he isminemore than ever now. He seems near me always, and I carry his precious image in my heart everywhere. That can never fade or die!
Seeheim, August 2d.Many thanks for your dear letter! I am feeling so low and weak to-day that kind words are doubly soothing. You feel so with me, when you understand how long and deep my grief must be. And does one not grow to love one’s grief, as having become part of the being one loved—as if throughthisone could still pay a tribute of love to them, to make up for the terrible loss, and missing of not being able to do any thing for the beloved one any more?[119]Iam so much with my children, and am so accustomed to care for them and their wants daily, that I miss not having Frittie, the object of our greatest care, far more than words can describe; and in the quiet of our every-day life, where we have only the children around us, it is doubly and trebly felt, and is a sorrow that has entered into the very heart of our existence.May the hour of trial and grief bring its blessing with it, and not have come in vain! The day passes so quickly, when one can do good and make others happy, and one leaves always so much undone. I feel more than ever, one should put nothing off; and children grow up so quickly and leave one, and I would long that mine should take nothing but the recollection of love and happiness from their home with them into the world’s fight, knowing that they have therealwaysa safe harbor, and open arms to comfort and encourage them when they are in trouble. I do hope that this may become the case, though the lesson for parents is so difficult, being continuallygiving, without always finding the return.Dear Fannie Baillie has been a few days here, and goes to England to-day. I shall miss her so much. I am so very fond of her. I hope you will see her; she will bring you many messages from us.
Seeheim, August 2d.
Many thanks for your dear letter! I am feeling so low and weak to-day that kind words are doubly soothing. You feel so with me, when you understand how long and deep my grief must be. And does one not grow to love one’s grief, as having become part of the being one loved—as if throughthisone could still pay a tribute of love to them, to make up for the terrible loss, and missing of not being able to do any thing for the beloved one any more?[119]Iam so much with my children, and am so accustomed to care for them and their wants daily, that I miss not having Frittie, the object of our greatest care, far more than words can describe; and in the quiet of our every-day life, where we have only the children around us, it is doubly and trebly felt, and is a sorrow that has entered into the very heart of our existence.
May the hour of trial and grief bring its blessing with it, and not have come in vain! The day passes so quickly, when one can do good and make others happy, and one leaves always so much undone. I feel more than ever, one should put nothing off; and children grow up so quickly and leave one, and I would long that mine should take nothing but the recollection of love and happiness from their home with them into the world’s fight, knowing that they have therealwaysa safe harbor, and open arms to comfort and encourage them when they are in trouble. I do hope that this may become the case, though the lesson for parents is so difficult, being continuallygiving, without always finding the return.
Dear Fannie Baillie has been a few days here, and goes to England to-day. I shall miss her so much. I am so very fond of her. I hope you will see her; she will bring you many messages from us.
Seeheim, August 13th.* * * After endless difficulties it has been settled that we can go to the Mainau. I am so far from strong and well that a change is necessary, and we shall go on the 15th, as Louise of Baden proposed, and I have written this to her.How you will enjoy the rest at Balmoral! After so much going on you must require it.Hélène Reuter is coming here for a fortnight with her boy—Ernest’s age. Poor boy, he longs for a playfellow.
Seeheim, August 13th.
* * * After endless difficulties it has been settled that we can go to the Mainau. I am so far from strong and well that a change is necessary, and we shall go on the 15th, as Louise of Baden proposed, and I have written this to her.
How you will enjoy the rest at Balmoral! After so much going on you must require it.
Hélène Reuter is coming here for a fortnight with her boy—Ernest’s age. Poor boy, he longs for a playfellow.
Seeheim, August 16th.* * * Louis joins with me in saying that we shall gratefully accept your wish that we should come to Windsor, and he trusts there will be no difficulties for leave then. * * *
Seeheim, August 16th.
* * * Louis joins with me in saying that we shall gratefully accept your wish that we should come to Windsor, and he trusts there will be no difficulties for leave then. * * *
Seeheim, September 7th.* * * You ask if I can play yet? I feel as if I could not, and I have not yet done so. In my own house it seems to me as if I never could play again on that piano, where little hands were nearly always thrust when I wanted to play. Away from home—in England—much sooner. I had played so often lately that splendid, touching funeral march of Chopin’s, and I remember it is the last thing I played, and then the boys were running in the room.Mary Teck came to see me and remained two nights, so warm-hearted and sympathizing. I like to talk of him to those who love children, and can understand how great the gap, how intense the pain, the ending of a little bright existence causes.Soon I shall have my Louis back. I long for him very much; but the change of air, the active out-door life, and being quite thrown into men’s society and occupations, must refresh body and mind. Here he has only me, the governess and children asUmgang. But he is what the Germans callein Haushammel—it is what he likes best.We shall do nothing for his birthday. The children will recite their poems and write little things, and his parents will come to our five o’clock tea.
Seeheim, September 7th.
* * * You ask if I can play yet? I feel as if I could not, and I have not yet done so. In my own house it seems to me as if I never could play again on that piano, where little hands were nearly always thrust when I wanted to play. Away from home—in England—much sooner. I had played so often lately that splendid, touching funeral march of Chopin’s, and I remember it is the last thing I played, and then the boys were running in the room.
Mary Teck came to see me and remained two nights, so warm-hearted and sympathizing. I like to talk of him to those who love children, and can understand how great the gap, how intense the pain, the ending of a little bright existence causes.
Soon I shall have my Louis back. I long for him very much; but the change of air, the active out-door life, and being quite thrown into men’s society and occupations, must refresh body and mind. Here he has only me, the governess and children asUmgang. But he is what the Germans callein Haushammel—it is what he likes best.
We shall do nothing for his birthday. The children will recite their poems and write little things, and his parents will come to our five o’clock tea.
Heiden,Appenzell, October 7th.How kind of you to remember our darling’s birthday; we both thank you for this. Sad and many are our thoughts. I think of my loneliness and anxiety when he was born, with Louis far away in the midst of danger—a sad and awful time to come into the world; but sweet Frittie was my comfort and occupation, a second son, a pleasure to us both! Now all this is wiped out, and our parents’ hearts are sore, and asking for the dear bright face we miss so much from amongst our circle of children! He ended his fight very soon. May we all follow in a way as peaceful, with as little struggle and pain, and leave an image of as much love and brightness behind, to be a blessed remembrance for the rest of our lives!I can’t write on any other subject to-day, therefore close these short lines with much love from your devoted child,Alice.
Heiden,Appenzell, October 7th.
How kind of you to remember our darling’s birthday; we both thank you for this. Sad and many are our thoughts. I think of my loneliness and anxiety when he was born, with Louis far away in the midst of danger—a sad and awful time to come into the world; but sweet Frittie was my comfort and occupation, a second son, a pleasure to us both! Now all this is wiped out, and our parents’ hearts are sore, and asking for the dear bright face we miss so much from amongst our circle of children! He ended his fight very soon. May we all follow in a way as peaceful, with as little struggle and pain, and leave an image of as much love and brightness behind, to be a blessed remembrance for the rest of our lives!
I can’t write on any other subject to-day, therefore close these short lines with much love from your devoted child,
Alice.
Darmstadt, November 14th.* * * It is very kind of you to ask about the rooms. I should prefer living in the tapestry rooms this time. It won’t be like the last time—though after our house here, so full of happy and heart-rending recollections, I go through continual pangs, which it will take many a year to soften down, as you can understand.
Darmstadt, November 14th.
* * * It is very kind of you to ask about the rooms. I should prefer living in the tapestry rooms this time. It won’t be like the last time—though after our house here, so full of happy and heart-rending recollections, I go through continual pangs, which it will take many a year to soften down, as you can understand.
Buckingham Palace, December 20th.Beloved Mama:—How much I thank you for your dear precious letter, and for all the true love and considerate sympathy you showed me duringour visit! It has soothed and comforted me, I assure you, and will be a pleasure and satisfaction for me to look back to the many pleasant talks we had together.Louis, who has always been so devoted to you, was touched to tears, as I was, by your expressions of love to us and to our children.Thank you also for all advice, which is so precious to me, and in following it I shall like to think that I am doing something that you told me.How much I felt in parting from you I cannot say. Neither did I like to speak of it, for it was too much, and the harder things in life are better borne in silence, as none can bear them for one, and they must be fought out by one’s self.Ernie and Irène send endless loves to you, to Uncle and Auntie. Sunny’s hand is better.Tilla came to see me yesterday, and we both drove with her to the Memorial.[120]* * * There is so much I would run on about, now the dear habit of intercourse together has once more become so natural to me. Writing is at best a poorremplaçant.Once more from both of us warm and tender thanks for so much love and kindness! Love to Leopold and Beatrice; kind remembrances to all who surround you! From your grateful and devoted child,Alice.
Buckingham Palace, December 20th.
Beloved Mama:—How much I thank you for your dear precious letter, and for all the true love and considerate sympathy you showed me duringour visit! It has soothed and comforted me, I assure you, and will be a pleasure and satisfaction for me to look back to the many pleasant talks we had together.
Louis, who has always been so devoted to you, was touched to tears, as I was, by your expressions of love to us and to our children.
Thank you also for all advice, which is so precious to me, and in following it I shall like to think that I am doing something that you told me.
How much I felt in parting from you I cannot say. Neither did I like to speak of it, for it was too much, and the harder things in life are better borne in silence, as none can bear them for one, and they must be fought out by one’s self.
Ernie and Irène send endless loves to you, to Uncle and Auntie. Sunny’s hand is better.
Tilla came to see me yesterday, and we both drove with her to the Memorial.[120]
* * * There is so much I would run on about, now the dear habit of intercourse together has once more become so natural to me. Writing is at best a poorremplaçant.
Once more from both of us warm and tender thanks for so much love and kindness! Love to Leopold and Beatrice; kind remembrances to all who surround you! From your grateful and devoted child,
Alice.
Buckingham Palace, December 21st.* * * It is fine and warm and still. I hope it will be so early to-morrow when we cross over. I shall telegraph how the passage has been.Please thank Brown for his kind wishes. I am so sorry that I missed saying good-bye to several. Tosay the truth, I dreaded it. It is always so painful. The old Baron’s[121]way of disappearing was almost the best.
Buckingham Palace, December 21st.
* * * It is fine and warm and still. I hope it will be so early to-morrow when we cross over. I shall telegraph how the passage has been.
Please thank Brown for his kind wishes. I am so sorry that I missed saying good-bye to several. Tosay the truth, I dreaded it. It is always so painful. The old Baron’s[121]way of disappearing was almost the best.
Duringthe first months of this year the Princess had the comfort of seeing many of her relations. The year was chiefly spent in retirement, and devoted to many sad memories. On the 24th of May she gave birth to a daughter, whose christening took place on the 11th of July at Jugenheim, near Darmstadt, in the presence of the Empress of Russia and the Duke of Edinburgh. The child received the names of Marie Victoria Feodora Leopoldine.
The hottest part of the summer was spent at Blankenberghe for the use of sea-baths. In September the great manœuvres of the Eleventh Army Corps took place in Upper Hesse, where the Princess met the Emperor of Germany.
The Princess’ charitable institutions were all prospering, and assuming larger and larger proportions; amongst them the Princess’ own hospital was by degrees slowly approaching completion. It was the institution she had the most at heart. It was intended to be a training-school for those who intended to become nurses, and a home for probationers whose training was at an end. It was also to serve as a model of those reforms in sanitary arrangements which the Princess had so much at heart.
When the provisional English hospital at Darmstadt (already mentioned during the war in 1870) had been taken over by the Hessian authorities, all its furniture, appointments, etc., were left to the “Alice Ladies’ Union” for the small hospital which it had started, aided by a small body of doctors in Darmstadt. This was the origin of the “Alice Hospital,” begun in a very small humble way in a cramped little house in the Mauer-Strasse. The Frauen-Verein had undertaken, when the English National Society for Aid to the Sick and Wounded had made over their hospital to them, either to build quite a new one or thoroughly to reorganize the existing one on the Mauer-Strasse. There were no funds to build a new hospital; therefore the “Alice Ladies’ Union,” could only resort to the other alternative, and this was carried out to the letter, by additional buildings and a totally new arrangement of its interior. As time went on, it was found advisable to give the hospital a distinct administration, and to separate it from the “Alice Ladies’ Union,” placing special funds at its disposal. This never would have come to pass, nor would the hospital have proved the success it did, had it not been for the untiring zeal, perseverance, economy, and practical knowledge of the lady directing it. During the summer months of 1874, a lady well acquainted with German and English hospitals—a trained nurse herself—became Lady Superintendent of the training-school for nurses, and of the hospital generally, which gradually, but surely, was gaining in importance.
The Alice Union for the Employment of Women made a further step in advance during this year, and established itself on a firm broad basis under the name of “The Alice Society for the Education and Employment of Women of all Classes.” Of this the Princess was the President, whilst Fräulein Louise Büchner directed the whole. The gentlemen and ladies who formed the committee were chosen by the Princess. All worked most harmoniously together; and the Princess was as anxious to receive advice from others in matters concerning the society as she was glad to give it herself.
Darmstadt, January 12th.* * *Howlow and miserable I am at times in these rooms, particularly when I go to bed, I cannot tell you! The impression ofallis so vivid and heart-rending. I could cry out for pain sometimes.Till the first year is round this will often return, I know, and must be borne as part of the sorrow!
Darmstadt, January 12th.
* * *Howlow and miserable I am at times in these rooms, particularly when I go to bed, I cannot tell you! The impression ofallis so vivid and heart-rending. I could cry out for pain sometimes.
Till the first year is round this will often return, I know, and must be borne as part of the sorrow!
January 16th.* * * I know well what your grief and your bereavement were compared to mine; but they are such different sorrows, I don’t think one can well compare them. Your life was broken—upset: altered from the very roots, through the one you lost; my life is unchanged, save in the mother’s heart the blank, the pain which thousands of little things awaken—which by the world, even by the family, are scarcely felt; and this ofttimes loneliness of sentiment clouds one’s life over with a quiet sorrow which is felt inevery thing. * * *
January 16th.
* * * I know well what your grief and your bereavement were compared to mine; but they are such different sorrows, I don’t think one can well compare them. Your life was broken—upset: altered from the very roots, through the one you lost; my life is unchanged, save in the mother’s heart the blank, the pain which thousands of little things awaken—which by the world, even by the family, are scarcely felt; and this ofttimes loneliness of sentiment clouds one’s life over with a quiet sorrow which is felt inevery thing. * * *
Darmstadt, January 23d.On our dear Affie’s [Prince Alfred’s] wedding-day, a few tender words. It must seem so strange to you not to be near him. My thoughts are constantly with them all, and we have only theTimes’account, for no one writes here—they are all too busy, and of course all news comes to you. What has Augusta [Lady Augusta Stanley] written, and Vicky and Bertie? Any extracts or other newspaper accounts but what we see would be most welcome.We give a dinner to-night to the family andentourage, and Russian and English legations. * * *Louis sends you his love and warmest wishes for yourself and the happiness of the dear pair, in which I most earnestly join. God bless and protect them, and may all turn out well!
Darmstadt, January 23d.
On our dear Affie’s [Prince Alfred’s] wedding-day, a few tender words. It must seem so strange to you not to be near him. My thoughts are constantly with them all, and we have only theTimes’account, for no one writes here—they are all too busy, and of course all news comes to you. What has Augusta [Lady Augusta Stanley] written, and Vicky and Bertie? Any extracts or other newspaper accounts but what we see would be most welcome.
We give a dinner to-night to the family andentourage, and Russian and English legations. * * *
Louis sends you his love and warmest wishes for yourself and the happiness of the dear pair, in which I most earnestly join. God bless and protect them, and may all turn out well!
Darmstadt, January 28th.* * * Dear Marie [the Duchess of Edinburgh] seems to make the same impression onall. How glad I am she is so quite what I thought and hoped. Such a wife must make Affie happy, and do him good, and be a great pleasure to yourself, which I always like to think. I shall read to my mother-in-law the letters, and show them to Bäuerlein. Both will be very grateful for being allowed to see them.We are going from Saturday to Monday to Carlsruhe. The eldest girls and Bäuerlein, who is going to take charge of them for a week, are going with us.* * * One day we have six degrees of heat, the next two or four of cold; it is very unwholesome.
Darmstadt, January 28th.
* * * Dear Marie [the Duchess of Edinburgh] seems to make the same impression onall. How glad I am she is so quite what I thought and hoped. Such a wife must make Affie happy, and do him good, and be a great pleasure to yourself, which I always like to think. I shall read to my mother-in-law the letters, and show them to Bäuerlein. Both will be very grateful for being allowed to see them.
We are going from Saturday to Monday to Carlsruhe. The eldest girls and Bäuerlein, who is going to take charge of them for a week, are going with us.
* * * One day we have six degrees of heat, the next two or four of cold; it is very unwholesome.
Carlsruhe, February 2d.I have a little time before breakfast to thank you so very much for the enclosures, also the Dean’s [Stanley] letter through dear Beatrice. We are most grateful for being allowed to hear these most interesting reports! It brings every thing so much nearer. How pleasant it is to receive only satisfactory reports! I fear Aunt Marie is far from well. I should be very anxious, for she is like a fading flower.All the family, Hohenlohes and Holsteins, send their duty. All their respective children and ours were together yesterday afternoon. I hope not to seem vain, if it strikes me that amongst all the children my girls usually carry away the palm. Victoria is in such good looks at present; they are both natural and real children, and as such I hope to be able to retain them long.Sophie Weiss[122]came to see me yesterday. I was very glad to be able to give her so good an account of you, and how young you looked when I had that great happiness of those few short days at Windsor, which did me good ineveryrespect. Old Frau von Bunsen, now eighty-three, I went to see—such a charming old lady, fresh in her mind, with snow-white hair. You and Papa were the topic she enjoyed speaking about, and our brothers and sisters.
Carlsruhe, February 2d.
I have a little time before breakfast to thank you so very much for the enclosures, also the Dean’s [Stanley] letter through dear Beatrice. We are most grateful for being allowed to hear these most interesting reports! It brings every thing so much nearer. How pleasant it is to receive only satisfactory reports! I fear Aunt Marie is far from well. I should be very anxious, for she is like a fading flower.
All the family, Hohenlohes and Holsteins, send their duty. All their respective children and ours were together yesterday afternoon. I hope not to seem vain, if it strikes me that amongst all the children my girls usually carry away the palm. Victoria is in such good looks at present; they are both natural and real children, and as such I hope to be able to retain them long.
Sophie Weiss[122]came to see me yesterday. I was very glad to be able to give her so good an account of you, and how young you looked when I had that great happiness of those few short days at Windsor, which did me good ineveryrespect. Old Frau von Bunsen, now eighty-three, I went to see—such a charming old lady, fresh in her mind, with snow-white hair. You and Papa were the topic she enjoyed speaking about, and our brothers and sisters.
Darmstadt, March 2d.* * * My nice Miss Graves I could so well have taken when Kitty left, but I was so anxious for a German, though I was much inclined toward her; I thought a German more important than it really is. Not the nationality but the individuality is the first thing; and here I think I have succeeded in finding the right person. * * *
Darmstadt, March 2d.
* * * My nice Miss Graves I could so well have taken when Kitty left, but I was so anxious for a German, though I was much inclined toward her; I thought a German more important than it really is. Not the nationality but the individuality is the first thing; and here I think I have succeeded in finding the right person. * * *
Darmstadt, March 11th.* * * I hope you were not the worst for all your exertions. TheTimes’accounts are charming. Such a warm reception must have touched Marie,and shown how the English cling to their Sovereign and her house.We have cold, snow, and dust, after quite warm weather. I trust you will have sunshine to-morrow.This last fortnight the news from Ashantee has so absorbed our thoughts. It has been an arduous undertaking, and one’s heart warms to our dear troops, who under all difficulties sustain their old name for bravery and endurance. The poor 42d [Regiment] lost many through illness, too; and I see they entered Coomassie playing the bagpipes!Louis is just reading to me Sir Hope Grant’s book on the Indian Mutiny, which he kindly sent me, and which is interesting and pleasant to read.I am taking the first snowdrops to sweet Frittie’s grave.Howthe first flowers he so dearly loved bring tears to my eyes, and recollections which wring my heart anew! I dread these two next months with their flowers and their birds. Good bye, darling Mama.
Darmstadt, March 11th.
* * * I hope you were not the worst for all your exertions. TheTimes’accounts are charming. Such a warm reception must have touched Marie,and shown how the English cling to their Sovereign and her house.
We have cold, snow, and dust, after quite warm weather. I trust you will have sunshine to-morrow.
This last fortnight the news from Ashantee has so absorbed our thoughts. It has been an arduous undertaking, and one’s heart warms to our dear troops, who under all difficulties sustain their old name for bravery and endurance. The poor 42d [Regiment] lost many through illness, too; and I see they entered Coomassie playing the bagpipes!
Louis is just reading to me Sir Hope Grant’s book on the Indian Mutiny, which he kindly sent me, and which is interesting and pleasant to read.
I am taking the first snowdrops to sweet Frittie’s grave.Howthe first flowers he so dearly loved bring tears to my eyes, and recollections which wring my heart anew! I dread these two next months with their flowers and their birds. Good bye, darling Mama.
Darmstadt, April 7th.* * * Surely Marie must feel it very deeply, for to leave so delicate and loving a mother must seem almost wrong. How strange this side of human nature always seems—leaving all you love most, know best, owe all debts of gratitude to, for the comparatively unknown! The lot of parents is indeed hard, and of such self-sacrifice.
Darmstadt, April 7th.
* * * Surely Marie must feel it very deeply, for to leave so delicate and loving a mother must seem almost wrong. How strange this side of human nature always seems—leaving all you love most, know best, owe all debts of gratitude to, for the comparatively unknown! The lot of parents is indeed hard, and of such self-sacrifice.
April 11th.* * * The children are too much an object here; they have too little to compare with; they would be benefited by a change, seeing other things and people, else they get into a groove, which I know is not good. They are very unspoilt in their tastes, and simple and quiet children, which I think of the greatest importance.Louis Battenberg has passed a first-rate examination. The parents are so happy, and the influence the good conduct and steady work of the elder brother has on the younger is of the greatest use, as they wish to follow him, and be as well spoken of, and please their parents, as he does. * * *
April 11th.
* * * The children are too much an object here; they have too little to compare with; they would be benefited by a change, seeing other things and people, else they get into a groove, which I know is not good. They are very unspoilt in their tastes, and simple and quiet children, which I think of the greatest importance.
Louis Battenberg has passed a first-rate examination. The parents are so happy, and the influence the good conduct and steady work of the elder brother has on the younger is of the greatest use, as they wish to follow him, and be as well spoken of, and please their parents, as he does. * * *