SHOWING
His wicked Life and horrid Death, and how he sold himself to the Devil, to have power for twenty-four years to do what he pleased, also many strange things done by him with the assistance of
MEPHISTOPHELES.
With an account how the Devil came for him at the end of twenty-four years, and tore him to pieces.
Dr. Faustus' birth and education, with an account of his falling from the Scriptures.
Dr. John Faustus was born in Germany. His father was a poor labouring man, not able to bring up his son John; but he had a brother in the same country, who was a very rich man, but had never a child, and took a great fancy to his cousin, and he resolved to make a scholar of him; and in order thereunto, put him to the Latin school, where he took his learning extraordinary well. Afterwards he put him to the University to study divinity; but Faustus could in no ways fancy that employment; wherefore he betook himself to the studying of that which his inclination is most for, viz., necromancy and conjuration, and in a little time few or none could outstrip him in the art. He also studied divinity, of which he was made Doctor; but within a short time fell into such deep fancies and cogitations that he resolved to throw the Scriptures from him, and betake himself whollyto the studying of necromancy and conjuration, charms and soothsaying, witchcraft, and the like.
How Dr. Faustus conjured up the Devil, making him appear at his own house.
Faustus, whose mind was to study conjuration, the which he followed night and day, he took the wings of an eagle, and endeavoured to fly over the world, to see and know all the secrets of heaven and earth; so that in a short time he attained power to command the Devil to appear before him when he pleased. One day as Dr. Faustus was walking in a wood near to Wurtemberg, in Germany, he having a friend with him who was desirous to know of the doctor's art, he desired him to let him see if he could then and there bring Mephistopheles before him; all which the doctor immediately did, and the devil upon the first call made such a noise in the wood as if heaven and earth would have come together; then the devil made such a roaring as if the wood had been full of wild beasts. The doctor made a circle for the devil, the which circle the devil ran round, making a noise as if ten thousand waggons had been running upon paved stones. After this it thundered and lightened, as if the whole world had been on fire. Faustus and his friend, amazed at this noise, and the devil's long tarrying, thought to leave his circle; whereupon he made him such music, the like was never heard in the world. This so ravished Faustus that he began again to conjure Mephistopheles in the name of the prince of the devils to appear in his own likeness; whereupon in an instant hung over his head a mighty dragon. Faustus calls again after his former manner, after which there was a cry in the wood as if hell had opened, and all the tormented souls had been there. Faustus, in the meanwhile, asked the devil many questions, and commanded him to show many diabolical tricks.
How Mephistopheles came to Dr. Faustus' house, and what happened between them.
Faustus commanded the spirit to meet him at his house by ten of the clock the next day. At the hour appointed he came into his chamber asking Faustus what he would have. Faustus told him it was his will and pleasure to conjure him to be obedient to him in all points of those articles, viz.:—
First, That the spirit should serve him in all things he asked, from that time till his death.
Secondly, Whatsoever he would have, he should bring him.
Thirdly, Whatsoever he desired to know, he should tell him.
The spirit answered him and said he had no such power of himself, until he had acquainted his prince that ruled over him. "For," said he, "we have rulers over us that send us out, and command us home when they please; and we can act no further than our power is, which we receive from Lucifer, who, you know, for his pride, was thrust out of heaven. But," saith the spirit, "I am not to tell you any more except you make yourself over to us."
Whereupon Faustus said, "I will have my request? but yet I will not be damned with you." Then said the spirit, "You must not, nor shall not have your desire, and yet thou art mine, and all the world cannot save thee out of my hands." Then said Faustus, "Get thee hence, and I conjure thee that thou come to me at night." The spirit then vanished. Faustus then began to consider how he might obtain his desire, and not give his soul to the devil.
And while Faustus was in these his devilish cogitations night drew on, and this hellish spirit appeared to Faustus, acquainting him that now he had got orders from his prince to be obedient to him, and to do for him whatsoever he desired, provided he would promise to be his, and withal to acquaint him first what he would have of him? Faustus replied that his desire was to become a spirit, and that Mephistopheles should be always, at his command; that whatsoever he called for him, he shall appear invisible to all men, and that he should appear in what shape he pleased, to which the spirit answered that all his desires should be granted if he would sign those articles he should wish or ask for. Whereupon Dr. Faustus withdrew and stabbed his wrist, receiving the blood in a small saucer, which cooled so fast, as if it forewarned him of the hellish act he was going to commit; nevertheless he put it over embers to warm it, and wrote as follows:—
"I, John Faustus, approved doctor of divinity, with my own hand do acknowledge and testify myself to become a servant to Lucifer, Prince of Septentrional and Oriental, and to him I freely and voluntarily give both soul; in consideration for the space of twenty-four years, if I be served in all things which I shall require, or which is reasonable by him to be allowed; at the expiration of which time from the date ensuing, I give to him all power to do with me at his pleasure; to rule to retch and carry me where he pleases body and soul. Hereupon I defy God and Christ, and the hosts of angels and good spirits, all living creatures that bear his shape, or on whom his image is imprinted; and to the better strengthening the validity of this covenant and firm agreement between us, I have writ it with my blood, and subscribe my name to it, calling all the powers and infernal potentates to witness it is my true intent and meaning." JOHN FAUSTUS.
What happened to Faustus after the signing of the articles.
When Faustus had made an end of his writing he called Mephistopheles to him, and delivered him the bond; whereupon the spirit told, him if he did not repent of what he haddone, he should enjoy all the pleasure his thoughts could form, and that he would immediately divert him. He caused a kennel of hounds to run down a hart in the hall, and vanished; then a bull danced before Faustus, also there was a lion and a bear, which fell to fighting before Faustus, and the lion destroyed the bear; after that came a dragon and destroyed the lion. And this, with abundance of more pastime, did the spirit present to the doctor's view, concluding with all manner of music, with some hundreds of spirits, which came and danced before Faustus. After the music was over, and Faustus began to look about him, he saw ten sacks full of silver, which he went to dispose of, but could not, for none could handle it but himself, it was so hot. This pastime so pleased Faustus, that he gave Mephistopheles the will that he had made, and kept a copy of it in his own hands. The spirit and Faustus being agreed, they dwelt together, and the devil was in their house-keeping, for there was never anything given away to poor, which before Faustus made this contract was frequently done, but the case is now altered.
How Faustus served the Duke of Bavaria.
Faustus having sold his soul to the devil, it was reported among his neighbours, so that none would keep him company but his spirit playing merry tricks for to please him. Not far from Faustus' house lived the Duke of Bavaria, the Duke of Saxony, and the Bishop of Salisburgh, whose houses and cellars Mephistopheles used to visit, and to bring the best of everything they had. One day the Duke of Bavaria invited most of the gentry of the country to dinner, for whose entertainment there was abundance of provision got ready. The gentry being come, and ready to sit down to dinner, in an instant Mephistopheles came and took all away with him, leaving them full of admiration. If any time Faustus had a mind for wild fowl, the spirit would callwhole flocks in at a window; also the spirit did teach Faustus to do the like so that no lock nor key could keep them out. The devil also taught Faustus to fly in the air, and to act many things that are incredible and too large for this small book to contain.
How Dr. Faustus dreamed of Hell in his Sleep and what he saw there.
After Faustus had a long conference with his spirit concerning the fall of Lucifer, and the state and condition of all the fallen angels, he, in a vision or dream, saw hell and all the devils and souls that were tormented there; he saw hell divided into several cells, or deep holes; and for every cell, or deep ward, there was a devil appointed to punish those that were under his custody. Having seen this sight, he much marvelled at it; and at that time Mephistopheles being with him, he asked him what sort of people they were that lay in the first dark pit; then Mephistopheles told him they were those who pretended themselves to be physicians, and who had poisoned many thousands to try practice; "and now," saith the spirit, "they have just the same administered to them which they gave to others, though not with the same effect, for they will never die here," saith he. Over their heads was a shelf laden with gallipots full of poison. Having passed them he came to a long entry exceeding dark where there was a mighty crowd. He asked him what those were? and the spirit told him they were pick-pockets, who loved to be in a crowd, when they were in the other world, and to content them they put them in a crowd there. Amongst them were some padders on the highway, and those of that function. Walking farther he saw many thousands of vintners, and some millions of tailors, in so much that they could not feel where to get stowage for them; a great number of pastry cooks with peels on their heads. Walking farther, the spirit opening a great cellar door, from which arose aterrible noise, he asked what they were. The spirit told him they were witches, and those who had been pretended saints in the other world; but how they did squabble, fight, and tear one another! Not far from them lay the whoremongers and adulterers, who made such a hideous noise that he was very much startled. Walking down a few steps he espied an incredible number almost hid with smoke. He asked what they were? The spirit told him they were millers and bakers; but good lack, what a noise was there among them! The millers crying to the bakers, and the bakers crying to the millers for help, but all was in vain, for there was none to help them. Passing on still farther, he saw thousands of shopkeepers, some of whom he knew, who were tormented for defrauding and cheating their customers. Having taken this prospect of hell, the spirit Mephistopheles took him in his arms, and carried him home to his own house, when he awaking, he was amazed at what he saw in his dream. So being come to himself, he asked the spirit in what place hell was, and who made it? Mephistopheles answered, "Knowest thou, that before the fall of Lucifer, there was no hell, but upon his fall was hell ordained. As for the substance of hell, we devils do not know. It is the wrath of God that makes hell so furious, and what we procured by our fall; but where hell is, or how it is governed, and whatsoever thou desirest to know, when thou comest there thou shalt be satisfied as far as we know ourselves."
Containing some Tricks of Dr. Faustus.
Dr. Faustus having attained the desire of his spirit, had now full power to act or do anything whatever he pleased. Upon a time the Emperor had a desire to see him, and likewise some of the doctor's tricks; whereupon he was requested by the Emperor to do somewhat to make him merry; but the doctor in the meanwhile looking around him he at last espied a great lord looking out at a window, and the doctorcalling his spirit to help him, he in an instant fastened a large pair of horns upon the lord's head, that he could not get his head in till Faustus took off the horns again, which were soon taken off invisibly. The lord whom Faustus served so was extremely vexed, and resolved to be revenged on the doctor, and to that end lay a mile out of town for Faustus' passing by, he being that day to depart for the country. Faustus coming by a wood side, beheld that lord mounted upon a mighty warlike horse, who ran full drift against Faustus, who, by the assistance of his spirit, took him and all, and carried before the Emperor's palace, and grafted a pair of horns on his head as big as an ox's, which he could never be rid of, but wore them to his dying day.
How Faustus ate a load of Hay.
Faustus upon a time having many doctors and masters of arts with him, went to walk in the fields, where they met with a load of hay. "How now, good fellow," saith Faustus, "what shall I give thee to fill my belly with hay?" The clown thought he had been a madman to talk of eating hay, told him he should fill his belly for one penny, to which the doctor agreed, and then fell to eating, and quickly devouring half of the load; at which the doctor's companions laughed, to see how simply the poor country fellow looked, and to hear how heartily he prayed the doctor to forbear. So Faustus pitying the poor man, went away, and before the man got near his house all the hay was in the cart that the doctor had eaten, which made the country fellow very much admire.
How he struck a parcel of Students, who were fighting together, blind; and how he served a parcel of Clowns who were singing and ranting at an inn.
Thirteen students meeting with seven more near Dr. Faustus' house, fell to, extremely, first in words and at last toblows. The thirteen being too hard for the seven, and Dr. Faustus looking out at his window and seeing the fray, and how much they were overmatched, conjured them all blind, so that the one could not see the other, and in this manner they fought one another, which made all that saw them laugh. At length the people parted them, and led them to their chambers, they instantly received their sight. The doctor coming into an inn with some friends, was disturbed by the hallowing and bawling of a parcel of drunken clowns, whereupon, when their mouths were wide open, he so conjured them, that by no means they could shut them again: and after they had stared one upon another, without being able to speak, thinking they were bewitched, they dropped away in a confused fear, one by one, and never could be got to the house afterwards.
How Faustus helped a Young Man to a Fair Lady.
There was a gallant young gentleman who was in love with a fair lady, living at Wurtemberg, near the doctor's house. This gentleman had long sought this lady in marriage, but could not attain his desire, and having placed his affections so much upon her, he was ready to pine away, and had certainly died with grief, had he not made his address to the doctor, to whom he opened the whole matter. Now no sooner had the gentleman told his cause to the doctor, but he told him that he need not be afraid, for his desire should be fulfilled, and that he should have her whom he so much desired, and that this gentlewoman should have none but him, which was accordingly done, for the doctor so changed her mind that she could think of nothing else but him whom before she hated; and Faustus' desire was this: He gave him an enchanted ring which he ordered him to put into the lady's hand, or to slip it on her finger, which he did; and no sooner had she got the ring than her heart burned with love to him. She, instead of frowns, could do nothing butsmile upon him, and not be at rest till she asked him if he thought he could love her, and make her his wife? He gladly answered with all his heart. So they were married the next day, and all by the help of Dr. Faustus.
How Faustus made Seven Women dance naked in the Market-place.
Faustus walking in the market-place, saw seven women sitting all in a row, selling eggs, butter, etc. Of every one he bought something and departed. No sooner was he gone but all the eggs and butter were gone out of their baskets, and they knew not how. At last they were told that Dr. Faustus had conjured their goods away. They thereupon ran speedily to the doctor's house, and so demanded satisfaction for the ware. He resolving to make himself and the town's people merry by his conjuring art, made them return to their baskets naked as ever they were born; and having danced a while in the market-place every one's goods were conjured into their baskets again, and they set at liberty.
How Faustus served a Country Fellow who was driving Swine.
Dr. Faustus, as he was going to Wurtemberg, overtook a country fellow driving a hundred swine, who were very headstrong, some running one way and some another; so that the driver could not tell how to get them drove along. The doctor taking notice of it, so by his conjuring art he made every one of them dance upon their two hind legs, with a fiddle in one of their fore feet, and with the other fore foot they played upon the fiddle, and so they danced and fiddled all the way until they came into Wurtemberg market, the driver of them dancing all the way before them, which made the people wonder. After the doctor had satisfied himself with the spirit he conjured all of the fiddles away, and the driver then offered them for sale, and quicklysold them all, and took the money; but before he was gone out of the house Faustus had conjured all the hogs out of the market-place, and sent them all home to the driver's house. The man who bought them, seeing all the swine gone, stopped the man who sold them and would have his money, which he was forced to pay, and so returned home sorrowful, and not knowing what to do; but, to his great surprise, found all the swine in their sties.
How Faustus begun to bethink himself of the near approach of his End.
Faustus having spun out his twenty-four years, within a month or two, began to consider what he should do to cheat the devil, but could not find any way to prevent his miserable end, which was now near, whereupon he thus cries out to himself, "Oh! miserable wretch that I am, I have given myself to the devil for a few years' pleasure, and now I must pay full dear. I have had my desires; my filthy lusts I have satisfied, and I must be tormented for ever and ever."
A neighbour of his, a very good old man, hearing of his way of living, in compassion to his soul came to him, and with tears in his eyes besought him to have more regard to his most precious soul, laying before him the promise of God's grace and mercy, freely offered to repenting sinners, and spake so feelingly that Faustus shed tears, and promised to him that he would try to repent. This good man was no sooner gone away than Mephistopheles found him pensive and on his bed. Now Mephistopheles mustering what had happened, began to reproach him with breach of covenant to his lord Lucifer, and thereupon almost twisted his neck behind him, which made him cry out very lamentable; in the meantime threatening to tear him to pieces unless he renewed his obligation, which for fear, with much sorrow he did, in a manner the same as the former, which he confirmed by the latter.
How Dr. Faustus was warned of the Spirit to prepare for his End.
Faustus' full time being come, the spirit appeared to him, and showed him his writing, and told him that the next night the devil would fetch him away, which made the doctor's heart to ache. But to divert himself, he sent for some doctors and master bachelors of arts, and other students to take dinner with him, for whom he provided great store of varieties, with music and the like. But all would not keep up his spirits, for the hour drew near; whereupon his countenance changing, the doctors and masters of arts inquired of him the reasons of his melancholiness? to which Faustus answered, "My friends, you have known me these many years, and how I have practised all manner of wickedness. I have been a great conjurer, which devilish art I obtained of the devil; and also to obtain power to do whatever I pleased I sold myself to the devil for twenty-four years' time, which full time being out this night, makes me full of horror. I have called you, my friends, to see this my dreadful end; and I pray let my miserable death be a warning to you all how you study the devilish art of conjuring; for if once you begin it, a thousand to one but it will lead you to the devil, whither I am this night to go, whether I will or not." They hearing of this sad story blamed him for concealing it so long, telling him if he had made them acquainted before that they thought it might have been prevented. He told them he had a desire several times to have disclosed this intrigue; but the devil told him that if he did he would presently fetch him away. He also told them he had a desire to join with the godly, and to leave off that wicked course; but immediately the devil used to come and torment him, etc. "But now," saith Faustus, "it is but in vain for me to talk of what I did intend, for I have sold myself to the devil; body and soul is his." No sooner hadhe spoken these words, but suddenly it fell a thundering and lightning, the like was never heard; whereupon Faustus went into the great hall, the doctors and masters staying in the next room intending to hear his end. About twelve o'clock the house shook so terribly that they thought it would have been down upon them, and suddenly the house windows were broken to pieces, so that they trembled and wished themselves elsewhere, whereupon a great clap of thunder, with a whirlwind the doors flew open, and a mighty rushing of wind entered with the hissing of serpents, shrieks and cries, upon which he lamentably cried out "Murder," and there was such roaring in the hall as if all the devils in hell had been there. When daylight appeared they took the boldness to enter into the room, and found his brains beaten out against the wall and the floor sprinkled with blood; but missing his body, they went in search of it, and found it on the dunghill mangled and mashed to pieces. So ended this miserable wretch's life, forsaking God and all goodness, and given up to his implacable enemy, which we hope may stand not only as a fearful, but lasting monument and warning to others.
THE WHOLE
LIFE AND DEATH
OF
OF
WESTMINSTER.
Where Meg was Born, her coming up to London, and her Usage to the Honest Carrier.
In the reign of Henry VIII. was born in Lancashire a maid called Long Meg. At eighteen years old she came to London to get her a service—Father Willis, the carrier, being the waggoner—and her neighbour brought her up with some other lasses. After a tedious journey, being in sight of the desired city, she demanded why they looked sad. "We have no money," said one, "to pay our fare." So Meg replies, "If that be all, I shall answer your demands," and this put them in some comfort. But as soon as they came to St. John's Street, Willis demanded their money. "Say what you will have," quoth she. "Ten shillings a piece," said he. "But we have not so much about us," said she. "Nay, then, I will have it out of your bones." "Marry, content," replied Meg, and, taking a staff in her hand, so belaboured him and his man that he desired her for God's sake to hold her hand. "Not I," said she, "unless you bestow an angel on us for good luck, and swear e'er we depart to get us good addresses."
The carrier, having felt the strength of her arm, thought it best to give her the money and promised not to go till he had got them good places.
Of her being placed in Westminster, and what she did at her Place.
The carrier, having set up his horses, went with the lasses to the Eagle in Westminster, and told the landlady he had brought her three fine Lancashire lasses; and seeing she often asked him to get her a maid, she might now take her choice. "Marry," said she, "I want one at present, and here are three gentlemen who shall give their opinions." As soon as Meg came in they blessed themselves, crying,
"Domine, Domine, viee Originem."
"Domine, Domine, viee Originem."
So her mistress demanded what was her name. "Margaret, forsooth," said she briskly. "And what work can you do?" She answered she had not been bred unto her needle, but to hard labour, as washing, brewing, and baking, and could make a house clean. "Thou art," quoth the hostess, "a lusty wench, and I like thee well, for I have often persons that will not pay." "Mistress," said she, "if any such come let me know, and I'll make them pay I'll engage." "Nay, this is true," said the carrier, "for my carcase felt it;" and then he told them how she served him. On this Sir John de Castile, in a bravado, would needs make an experiment of her vast strength; and asked her "if she durst exchange a box o' the ear with him." "Yes," quoth she, "if my mistress will give me leave." This granted, she stood to receive Sir John's blow, who gave her a box with all his might, but it stirred her not at all; but Meg gave him such a memorandum on his ear that Sir John fell down at her feet. "By my faith," said another, "she strikes a blow like an ox, for she hath knocked down an ass." So Meg was taken into service.
The method Meg took to make one of the Vicars pay his Score.
Meg so bestirred herself that she pleased her mistress, and for her tallness was called Long Meg of Westminster.
One of the lubbers of the Abbey had a mind to try her strength, so, coming with six of his associates one frosty morning, calls for a pot of ale, which, being drank, he asked what he owed. To which Meg answers, "Five shillings and threepence."
"O thou foul scullion, I owe thee but three shillings and one penny, and no more will I pay thee." And, turning to his landlady, complained how Meg had charged him too much. "The foul ill take me," quoth Meg, "if I misreckon him one penny, and therefore, vicar, before thou goest out of these doors I shall make thee pay every penny;" and then she immediately lent him such a box on the ears as made him reel again. The vicar then steps up to her, and together both of them went by the ears. The vicar's head was broke, and Meg's clothes torn off her back. So the vicar laid hold of her hair, but, he being shaved, she could not have that advantage; so, laying hold of his ears and keeping his pate to the post, asked him how much he owed her. "As much as you please," said he. "So you knave," quoth she, "I must knock out of your bald pate my reckoning." And with that she began to beat a plain song between the post and his pate. But when he felt such pain he roared out he would pay the whole. But she would not let him go until he laid it down, which he did, being jeered by his friends.
Of her fighting and conquering Sir James of Castile, a Spanish Knight.
All this time Sir James continued his suit to Meg's mistress, but to no purpose. So, coming in one day and seeing her melancholy, asked what ailed her, for if anyone has wronged you I will requite you. "Marry," quoth she, "a base knave in a white satin doublet has abused me, and if you revenge my quarrel I shall think you love me." "Where is he?"quoth Sir James. "Marry," said she, "he said he would be in St. George's Fields." "Well," quoth he, "do you and the doctor go along with me, and you shall see how I'll pummel the knave."
Unto this they agreed, and sent Meg into St. George's Fields beforehand. "Yonder," said she, "walks the fellow by the windmill." "Follow me, hostess," said Sir James; "I will go to him." But Meg passed as if she would have gone by. "Nay, stay," said Sir James; "you and I part not so. I am this gentlewoman's champion, and fairly for her sake will have you by the ears." With that Meg drew her sword, and to it they went.
At the first blow she hit him on the head, and often endangered him. At last she struck his weapon out of his hands, and, stepping up to him, swore all the world should not save him. "O save me, sir," said he; "I am a knight, and it is but a woman's matter; do not spill my blood." "Wert thou twenty knights," said Meg, "and was the king here himself, I would not spare thy life unless you grant me one thing." "Let it be what it will, you shall be obeyed." "Marry," said she, "that this night you wait on my plate at this woman's house and confess me to be your master."
This being yielded to and a supper provided, Thomas Usher and others were invited to make up the feast, and unto whom Sir James told what had happened. "Pho!" said Usher jeeringly, "it is no such great dishonour for to be foiled by an English gentleman since Cæsar the Great was himself driven back by their extraordinary courage." At this juncture Meg came in, having got on her man's attire. "Then," said Sir James, "this is that valiant gentleman whose courage I shall ever esteem." Hereupon, she pulling off her hat, her hair fell about her ears, and she said "I am no other than Long Meg of Westminster, and so you are heartily welcome."
At this they all fell a-laughing. Nevertheless, at supper time, according to agreement, Sir James was a proper page; and she, having leave of her mistress, sat in state like her majesty. Thus Sir James was disgraced for his love, and Meg was counted a proper woman.
Her Usage to the Bailiff of Westminster, who came into her Mistress's and arrested her Friend.
A bailiff, having for the purpose took forty shillings, arrested a gentleman in Meg's mistress's house, and desired the company to keep peace. She, coming in, asked what was the matter. "O," said he, "I'm arrested." "Arrested! and in our house? Why this unkind act to arrest one in our house; but, however, take an angel and let him go." "No," said the bailiff, "I cannot, for the creditor is at the door." "Bid him come in," said she, "and I'll make up the matter." So the creditor came in; but, being found obstinate, she rapped him on the head with a quart pot and bid him go out of doors like a knave. "He can but go to prison," quoth she, "where he shall not stay long if all the friends I have can fetch him out."
The creditor went away with a good knock, and the bailiff was going with his prisoner. "Nay," said she, "I'll bring a fresh pot to drink with him." She came into the parlour with a rope, and, knitting her brows, "Sir Knave," said she, "I'll learn thee to arrest a man in our house. I'll make thee a spectacle for all catchpoles;" and, tossing the rope round his middle, said to the gentleman, "Sir, away, shift for yourself; I'll pay the bailiff his fees before he and I part." Then she dragged the bailiff unto the back side of the house, making him go up to his chin in a pond, and then paid him his fees with a cudgel, after which he went away with the amends in his hands, for she was so well beloved that no person would meddle with her.
Of her meeting with a Nobleman, and her Usage to him and to the Watch.
Now it happened she once put on a suit of man's apparel. The same night it fell out that a young nobleman, being disposed for mirth, would go abroad to see the fashions, and, coming down the Strand, espies her; and, seeing such a tall fellow, asked him whither he was going. "Marry," said she, "to St. Nicholas's to buy a calve's head." "How much money hast thou?" "In faith," said she, "little enough; will you lend me any?" "Aye," said he; and, putting his thumb into her mouth, said, "There's a tester." She gave him a good box on the ear, and said, "There's a groat; now I owe you twopence." Whereupon the nobleman drew, and his man too; and she was as active as they, so together they go. But she drove them before her into a little chandler's shop, insomuch that the constable came in to part the fray, and, having asked what they were, the nobleman told his name, at which they all pulled off their caps. "And what is your name?" said the constable. "Mine," said she, "is Cuthbert Curry Knave." Upon this the constable commanded some to lay hold on her and carry her to the compter. She out with her sword and set upon the watch, and behaved very resolutely; but the constable calling for clubs, Meg was forced to cry out, "Masters, hold your hands, I am your friend; hurt not Long Meg of Westminster." So they all stayed their hands, and the nobleman took them all to the tavern; and thus ended the fray.
Meg goes a shroving, fights the Thieves of St. James's Corner, and makes them restore Father Willis, the Carrier, his hundred marks.
Not only the cities of London and Westminster, but Lancashire also, rung of Meg's fame, so they desired old Willis, thecarrier, to call upon her, which he did, taking with him the other lasses. Meg was joyful to see them, and it being Shrove Tuesday, Meg went with them to Knightsbridge, and spent most of the day with repeating tales of their friends in Lancashire; and so tarried the carrier, who again and again inquired how all did there, and made the time seem shorter than it was. The night growing on, the carrier and the two other lasses were importunate to be gone, but Meg was loath to set out, and so stayed behind to discharge the reckoning, and promised to overtake them.
It was their misfortune at St. James's Corner to meet with two thieves who were waiting there for them, and took a hundred marks from Willis, the carrier, and from the two wenches their gowns and purses. Meg came up immediately after, and then the thieves, seeing her also in a female habit, thought to take her purse also; but she behaved herself so well that they began to give ground. Then said Meg, "Our gowns and purses against your hundred marks; win all and wear all." "Content," quoth they. "Now, lasses, pray for me," said Meg. With that she buckled with these two knaves, beat one and so hurt the other that they entreated her to spare their lives. "I will," said she, "upon conditions." "Upon any condition," said they. "Then," said she, "it shall be thus—
1. That you never hurt a woman nor any company sheis in.2. That you never hurt lame or impotent men.3. That you never hurt any children or innocents.4. That you rob no carrier of his money.5. That you rob no manner of poor or distressed.
"Are you content with these conditions?" "We are," said they. "I have no book about me," said she, "but will you swear on my smock tail?" which they accordingly did, and then she returned the wenches their gowns and purses, and old Father Willis, the carrier, a hundred marks.
The men desiring to know who it was had so lustily beswinged them, said—"To alleviate our sorrow, pray tell us your name." She smiling replied—"If anyone asks you who banged your bones, say Long Meg of Westminster once met with you."
Meg's Fellow Servant pressed; her Usage of the Constable; and of her taking Press Money to go to Boulogne.
In those days were wars between England and France, and a hot press about London. The constables of Westminster pressed Meg's fellow servant, and she told them if they took him her mistress was undone.
All this could not persuade the constable, but Harry must go, on which she lent the constable a knock. Notice being given to the captain, he asked who struck him. "Marry," quoth Meg, "I did, and if I did not love soldiers I'd serve you so too." So, taking a cavalier from a man's hand, she performed the exercise with such dexterity that they wondered, whereupon she said—"Press no man, but give me press money and I will go myself." At this they all laughed, and the captain gave her an angel, whereupon she went with him to Boulogne.
Of her Beating the Frenchman off the Walls of Boulogne, for which gallant behaviour she is rewarded by the King with Eightpence per Day for Life.
King Henry, passing the seas, took Boulogne. Hereupon the Dauphin with a great number of men surprised and retook it. Meg, being a laundress in the town, raised the best of the women; and, with a halberd in her hand, came to the walls, on which some of the French had entered, and threw scalding water and stones at them that she often obliged them to quit the town before the soldiers were up in arms.And at the sally she came out the foremost with her halberd in her hand to pursue the chase.
The report of this deed being come to the ears of the king, he allowed her for life eightpence a day.
Of her fighting and beating a Frenchman before Boulogne.
During this she observed one who in a bravado tossed his pike. She, seeing his pride, desired a drum to signify that a young soldier would have a push at pike with him. It was agreed on, and the place appointed life against life.
On the day the Frenchman came, and Meg met him, and without any salute fell to blows; and, after a long combat, she overcame him, and cut off his head. Then, pulling off her hat, her hair fell about her ears.
By this the Frenchman knew it was a woman, and the English giving a shout, she, by a drummer, sent the Dauphin his soldier's head, and said, "An English woman sent it."
The Dauphin much commended her, sending her a hundred crowns for her valour.
Of her coming to England and being Married.
The wars in France being over, Meg came to Westminster and married a soldier, who, hearing of her exploits, took her into a room, and, making her strip to her petticoat, took one staff and gave her another, saying, "As he had heard of her manhood, he was determined to try her." But Meg held down her head, whereupon he gave her three or four blows, and she in submission fell down upon her knees desiring him to pardon her. "For," said she, "whatever I do to others, it behoves me to be obedient to you; and it shall never be said, if I cudgel a knave that injures me, Long Meg is her husband's master; and therefore use me as you please." So they grew friends, and never quarrelled after.
Long Meg's Usage to an angry Miller.
Meg going one day with her neighbours to make merry, a miller near Epping looking out, the boy they had with them, about fourteen years old, said—"Put out, miller, put out." "What must I put out?" said he. "A thief's head and ears," said the other.
At this the miller came down and well licked him, which Meg endeavoured to prevent, whereupon he beat her. But she wrung the stick from him, and then cudgelled him severely; and having done, sent the boy to the mill for an empty sack, and put the miller in all but his head; and then, fastening him to a rope, she hauled him up half way, and there left him hanging. The poor miller cried out for help, and if his wife had not come he had surely been killed, and the mill, for want of corn, set on fire.
Of her keeping House at Islington, and her Laws.
After marriage she kept a house at Islington. The constable coming one night, he would needs search Meg's house, whereupon she came down in her shift with a cudgel, and said—"Mr. Constable, take care you go not beyond your commission, for if you do I'll so cudgel you as you never was since Islington has been." The constable, seeing her frown, told her he would take her word, and so departed.
Meg, because in her house there should be a good decorum, hung up a table containing these principles:—
First. If a gentleman or yeoman had a charge about him, and told her of it, she would repay him if he lost it; but if he did not reveal it, and said he was robbed, he should have ten bastinadoes, and afterwards be turned out of doors.
Secondly. Whoever called for meat and had no money to pay should have a box on the ear and a cross on the back that he might be marked and trusted no more.
Thirdly. If any good fellow came in and said he wanted money, he should have his belly full of meat and two pots of drink.
Fourthly. If any raffler came in and made a quarrel, and would not pay his reckoning, to turn into the fields and take a bout or two with Meg, the maids of the house should dry beat him, and so thrust him out of doors.
These and many such principles she established in her house, which kept it still and quiet.
THE
FAMOUS HISTORY
OF THE LEARNED