Character of a City Critick
ACritickof this sort is one that for want ofWitsets up forJudgment; yet he has so much Ambitionto be thought aWit, that he lets hisSpleenprevail againstNature, and turnsPoet. In this Capacity he is as just to the World as in the other Injurious. For as theCritickwrong’d ev’ry Body in his Censure, and snarl’d, and grin’d at their Writings, thePoetgives ’em Opportunity to do themselves Justice, to return the Compliment and laugh at or despise his. He wants nothing but Wit to fit him for aSatyrist, yet he hasGallandVanityenough to dispence with that Want, and write without it. His works areLibellsupon others, butSatyrsupon himself, and while theyBarkat Men ofWit, call him Fool that writ ’em. He takes his Malice for a Muse, and thinks himself inspir’d when he is onlyPossess’d, and blown up with a Flatus ofEnvyandVanity. His great helps to Poetry areCrambo, andArithmetick, by which he aspires to Chime, and Numbers, yet mistakes frequently in the tale of his Fingers. He has a very greatAntipathyto his own Species, and hates to see a Fool any where but in his Glass.For (as he says) theyProvokehimAnd offend his Eyes:|7th. Satyre of Boileau Eng.|HeFollows ’em as a Dog persues his Prey, and barks whenereHesmells ’em in his way: Heknows, to say no morethatWit is scarce, to gingle out a Rhime, or tag a Verse: Or Cobble wretched Prose to numerous Lines: There if he has a Genius there it shines. His Fund ofCriticismis a Set of Terms of Art pickt out of theFrench Criticks, or their Translators; and hisPoeticalstock is a Common Place of certainFormsandMannersof Expression. He writes better inVersethanProse; For in that there isRhime, in this neitherRhimenotReason. He talks much of theNaiveteof his Thoughts, which appears sufficiently in the Dullness of ’em; yet nothing but thePhlegmatick, SpiritlessAiris his own. He rails at Mr.Oldhamfor want of Breeding and good Manners without a grain of either, and steals his own Wit to bespatter him with, but like an illChymist, he lets theSpiritflie of in the drawing over, and retains only thePhlegm. He censures Mr.Cowleyfor toomuchWit, and corrects him with none. The difference between Mr.Cowleyand him is this; the one has too much Wit, and too fine for the Standard; the other not enough to blanch his base Metal, or cover the Brass of his Counterfeits. To compleat himself in the Formalities ofParnassus, he falls in love and tells the World, it is oblig’d to hisPassionfor hisPoetry; but if hisMistressprove no more indulgent than hisMuse, his Amour is like to conclude but unluckily. For if his Love be no warmer than his Lines, hisCorinnamay play with his Flame without danger of Burning. He pretends to have written only his sincerest Thoughts; I don’t know how well his Mistress may take that from theLover, but I dare swear the World did not expect it from the Poet. He is happiest at the Picture of a Rhiming Fool, for he need only to look in his Glass, and he may Copy a CountryWitfrom the City Original. If this Rhiming Humour lasts, there’s a goodSugar-Jobberspoil’d for an illPoet; yet for his comfort, Time, Improvement, and twoor three Books more may raise him to RivalE— S—and singLondon’s Triumphs, to the Envy ofTom Jordanof happy Memory.
You may wonder,Madam, why I shou’d give you the trouble of this Character, after I had given you my word to trouble you with no more of this Nature. I must confess, I am sorry that so foolish an Occasion cou’d make me forget my self; but a Book newly publish’d happening just at this Juncture unluckily to fall into my Hands, I cou’d not without Indignation see the Scurrility and Insolence, with which Mr.Oldham, and Mr.Cowleyare treated; and cou’d not but resent a little the Wrongs done to the Memory of Men whom the rest of the World with Justice admire; and cou’d not help taking Notice upon so fair an Opportunity, that they are not, tho’ dead, to be so rudely plaid with, and made the May-Game of e’rySplenetick Boy. There are some yet living, whose Wit and Performances deserve a more respectful treatment, than they have met with from him. But they are ableto revenge their own Quarrel, if they think he deserves the honour to be Scourg’d by ’em. Nothing but Envy and a Vain Conceit of himself cou’d move him to attack the Reputation of Men, whose Verse will alwayes command Admiration, while his own raise nothing but Scorn and Indignation. If his Bookseller were but blest with half a dozen such Authors, he wou’d in a short time infallibly beStationergeneral to all theGrocersandTobacconistsin the Town.
After this Digression,Madam, let us return to our Subject. We stand yet charg’d withLevity, andInconstancy, two Failings so nearly related and so generally United, that it his hard to treat of ’em apart;|Levity.|we will therefore consider ’em briefly together.Levityis an unsteddy Humor that makes men like and dislike, seek, and reject frequently the same things upon slender or no Reasons. This is the Humour of the Infancy of both Sexes, and proceeds from the strength of their Appetites, and the weaknessof their Judgments. At these tender Years every thing we see moves our Curiosities, and because we think little beyond our Appetites, desire impatiently whatever pleases. This wears of in Proportion to the growth of our Judgments, when we begin to consider the Fatigue, Hazard, Disreputation, and other Inconveniences that attend unreasonable, or inordinate Desires. Herein our Sex have a manifest Advantage over the other; For it is confess’d on all hands that our Judgments ripen sooner than theirs,|Less Levity among Women then Men.|whence of course it Follows, that this Folly prevails not so long upon us, as them. ’Tis yet true, that even the most experienc’d and wisest of Us have no small mixture of it, which appears in the greatest Part of our Actions. But it is certain likewise, that Men have a greater proportion of it than we. From this it is thatNoveltyderives all its Charms, and that Men persue with so much Eagerness and Impatience what they so soon slight if obtain’d. I appeal to the Experienceof all mankind, if they do not generally frame to themselves much greater Idea’s of any thing they desire, and are unacquainted with, than they find real, when they become Familiar to ’em; and if they did not imagine greater Pleasures, while they were in persuit, than they met with after they were in Possession of their Wishes. The Imagery ofFancyis, like some Paintings, ravishing, and surprizing at a due distance, but approach ’em near, and all the Charms and Beauty vanish, and they appear rough and unpleasant. Hence it is that Men grow uneasie, and their desires pall so soon upon the full enjoyment of their Wishes; they see then the imperfections as well as Beauties of what they covered, which glitter’d so far of, and like the Moon appear’d all Lustre and Smoothness, but when arriv’d at, all dark and uneven. These Fallacies Men are more submitted to than we, by those very Priviledges which give ’em in some things the advantage over us. The variety of Business,and Society they run through, the large acquaintance they contract, give ’em encouragement to aspire to, and hopes to obtain many difficult things, which our Sex seldom lift their Thoughts up to. I know this aspiring Humour of theirs is generally call’dAmbition, and I allow the Term to be proper; but their Ambition works upon their Levity, which only can make them Barter certain Ease, Peace and Security, for uncertain Pomp and Splendour; and forsake a Condition they know to be good, for one they know no more of, than that it Shines, and that it Glitters, andso part with the true Jewel for the false one. These are the seririous and applauded Follies of Mankind, and shew the Weakness and Levity of those we call the greatest, and wisest Men, that sacrifice the Ease and Pleasure of their lives toPopular Breath, and sounding Titles, which is like bartring a small Diamond for a large Glass Bubble.
Inconstancy
Inconstancyis so likeLevitythat little more needs to be said of it, only that it is commonly restrain’d to the change of Affections in regard to Persons, and so is cheifly concern’d in Love and Freindship. It is founded upon Levity, thro’ which we first make an injudicious Choice, and are afterwards as unreasonably disgusted with it. This happens oftner inLove, thanFriendship; because the Impressions ofLoveare more suddenly receiv’d, and the Effects of it more violent, than those ofFriendship; and the Desires, which are commonly kindled by one single Perfection, such asBeautyorWit, not being suddenly answered, are in Process of time extinguish’d, or abated by observation of some disgustful Imperfection or other in the Person belov’d. This is indeed the true Reason,|Love, why so soon cold.|whyLove, which is generally so hot at first, cools commonly so suddenly; because being generally the Issue of Fancy, not judgment, it is grounded upon an over great Opinion of those Perfections, which first strike us, andwhich fall in our Esteem upon more mature Examination. From whence it is likewise that Men are less constant in their Affections, than we; for Beauty only being generally the Object of their Passion, the Effect must necessarily be as fadeing as the Cause; their Love therefore being only the result of wonder and Surprize, is abated by Familiarity, and decays, as they wear of, by Degrees. Beside, that, a Love so Founded is liable to be ravish’d by any Superiour Beauty; or if not so, yet the Novelty of the Former once worn of, the New Comer has the assistance of Fancy the Slave of Novelty to gain the Superiority. This is the Cause why so few real and lasting Passions are found amongst Men. For Charms depending upon, and owing their Power to Fancy, can maintain no Conquests any longer, than that is on their side, which is as inconstant as the Wind.|Women constanter Lovers.|In this also we are less faulty, than they; For, not usually fixing our Affection on so mutable a Thing as theBeautyof aFace, which a thousandaccidents may destroy, but onWit,Good Humour, and otherGracesof theMind, as well as of theBody, our Love is more durable, and constant in proportion to the longer continuance of those Qualities in the Object. Neither indeed have we the means, or temptation to be Fickle and inconstant so ready as Men have; For Modesty, and the Rules of Decency observ’d among Us, not permitting to us the Liberty of declaring our sentiments to those we love, as Men may, we dare not indulge a wanton Fancy, or rambling Inclination, which must be stiffled in our own Breasts, and cou’d only give us a hopeless Anxiety, unless we were able to inspire the same Passion for us in them; which it were vain to expect, without breaking thro’ all restraint ofModestyandDecorumat the price of our Fame and Reputation, which I hope few are so daring as to venture. Besides this our Tempers are by Nature calm, sedate, and tender, not apt to be ruffl’d, and disturb’d by Passions, and too fearful to enterprizeany thing in satisfaction of ’em; theirs on the contrary, bold, active, and uneven, easily susceptible of all manner of Desires, and readily executing any Designs to gratifie ’em. Thus are we debarred the liberty of chusing for our selves, and confin’d to please our selves out of the number that like and address to us, of which if we fix our Affections upon any one, we are generally fixt and unmoveable, as having neither the Inclination to, nor opportunity of Inconstancy, that the Men have. I don’t deny but that there may be some among us guilty of this Fault, but they are vastly short of the Number of Men involv’d in the like Guilt, amongst whom it is now grown so fashionable, that is become no Scandal; but is daily justified, and the Treachery boasted of as high Gallantry. The Crimes therefore of some fewWomenought, to be no reproach to the Sex in general. Of Infidelity in Friendship I shall say little, because I think there are so few Instances of any thing that deserve the Name,that scarce any Age has been so fruitful as to produce two Pair of real and true Friends.|Freindship.|I know that the Name is commonly given to such as are linkt by any Ties of Consanguinity, Affinity, Interest, mutual Obligations, Acquaintance, and the like: But these are such Friendships (if they may be call’d so) as are always contracted with a tacit Reserve to Interest on both sides, and seldom last longer than the Prosperity of either Party, and during that are frequently renounc’d upon slight Disobligations, or languish and die of themselves. Yet if I may presume to give my Opinion in a Case, where matter of Fact does not appear, I think we shou’d be the more Faithful even in this too: For as we are less concern’d in the Affairs of the World, so we have less Temptation from Interest to be false to our Friends.|Women truer Friends than Men.|Neither are we so likely to be false thro’ Fear; because our Sex are seldom engag’d in matters of any Danger. For these Reasons it is, our Sex are generally more hearty and sincere in theordinary Friendships they make than Men, among whom they are usually clogg’d with so many Considerations of Interest, and Punctilio’s of Honour; to which last perhaps are owing the greatest part of those honourable Actions, which are mistakenly imputed to Friendship. For something done to salve Honour, commonly puts a Period to all Friendship, with unfortunate Persons; whom Men think they may afterward grow cold to without Reproach.
These are the most considerable Imperfections, or at least those, which with most Colour of Reason are charg’d upon us, as general Defects; and I hope,Madam, I have fairly shown, that the other Sex are both by Interest and Inclination more expos’d, and more Subject to ’em, than we.Pride,Lust,Cruelty, and many more, are by the Declaimers against us thrown into the Scale to make weight and bear us down, but with such manifest Injustice, that without giving myself any further trouble, I dare appeal to any reasonableMan, and leave him to decide the Difference.|More ill Men than Women.|I know there was aTullia, aClaudia, and aMessalina; there was likewise, aSardanapalus, aNero, aCaligula; but if the Sexes in general are to be reproach’d with, and measur’d by these; Human Race is certainly the vilest Part of the Creation. ’Tis very illLogickto argue from Particulars to Generals, and where the Premisses are singular, to conclude Universally: But if they will allow us the Liberty they take themselves, and come to numbering the Vicious of both Sexes, they will certainly out poll us by infinite Numbers. It were therefore better Policy surely in them, to quit a way of arguing, which is at once so false, and so much to the disadvantage of the Cause they contend for: and when they can by sound Arguments make out any Advantages their Sex has over ours, other than what I have already granted, I am ready to be convinc’d, and become their Convert; and I makeno doubt but every ingenuous Man will do as much by me. Thus I have endeavour’d to vindicate our Sex, from the unjust Imputations with which some unreasonable, malicious Men wou’d load us: For I am willing to think the greater, or at least the better Part of their Sex, more generous than to encourage their Scandal. There remains nothing more, but to shew that there are some necessary Qualifications to be acquir’d, some good Improvements to be made by IngeniousGentlemenin the Company of our Sex.
Many Advantages from Womens Company.
Of this number areComplacence,Gallantry,Good Humour,Invention, and an Art, which (tho’ frequently abus’d) is of admirable use to those that are Masters of it, theArtofInsinuation, and many others. ’Tis true a Man may be an Honest and Understanding Man, without any of these Qualifications; but he can hardly be a Polite, a Well Bred, an Agreable, Taking Man, without all, or most of these.Without ’emHonesty,Courage, orWit, are like RoughDiamonds, orGoldin theOre, they have their intrinsick Value, and Worth, before, but they are doubtful and obscure, till they are polish’d, refin’d, and receiveLustre, andEsteemfrom these.
Complacence to be learn’d by it.
The Principal of these isComplacence, a good Quality, without which in a competent Measure no Man is fitted for Society. This is best learnt in our Company, where all Men affect Gaiety, and endeavour to be agreable.State News,Politicks,Religion, or privateBusinesstake up the greatest Part of their Conversation, when they are among themselves only. These are Subjects that employ their Passions too much, to leave any room forComplacence; they raise too much heat to suffer Men to be easie and pleasant, and Men are too serious when they talk of ’em, to suppress their natural Temper, which are apt to break out upon any Opposition. Men are as apt to defendtheir Opinions, as their Property, and wou’d take it as well to have their Titles to their Estates question’d, as their Sense; and perhaps in that they imitate the Conduct of our Sex, and do, like indulgent Mothers, that are most tender of those Children that are weakest. But however it be, I have observ’d, when such Arguments have been introduc’d even in our Company, and by Men that affect Indifference, and abundance of Temper, that very few have been able to shew so much Mastery, but that something appear’d either in their Air, or Expression, or in the Tone of their Voices, which argued a greater Warmth, and Concern, than is proper for the Conversation ofGentlemen, or the Company ofLadies. These Uneasinesses happen not so often among us, because the Men look upon us to have very little Interest in the Publick Affairs of the World, and therefore trouble us very seldom with their grave, serious Trifles, which they debate with so much earnestness among oneanother. They look upon us as Things design’d and contriv’d only for their Pleasure, and therefore use us tenderly, as Children do their Favourite Bawbles. They talk gayly, and pleasantly to us, they do, or say nothing that may give as any Disgust, orChagrin, they put on their chearfullest Looks, and their best Humour, that they may excite the like in us: They never oppose us but with a great deal of Ceremony, or in Raillery, not out of a Spirit of Opposition, (as they frequently do one another) but to maintain a pleasant Argument, or heigthen by variety of Opinions an agreable Entertainment. Mirth, and Good Humour reign generally in our Society, Good Manners always; For with us Men shew in a manner, the Reverse of what they are one to another: They let their thoughts play at Liberty, and are very careful of the Expression, that nothing harsh, or obscene escape ’em, that may shock a tender Mind, or offend a modest Ear. This Caution it is,which is the Root ofComplacence, which is nothing but a Desire to oblige People, by complying with their Humours. ’Tis true some Tempers are too Obstinate, and froward, ever to arrive at any great Heigth of this good Quality, yet there is nothing so stubborn, but it may be bent. Assiduity and constant Practice will contract such Habits, as will make any thing easie and familiar, even to the worst contriv’d Disposition; but where Nature concurs, Men are soon Perfect. This is one great advantage Men reap by our Society, nor is it to be despis’d by the Wisest of ’em, who know the use of this Accomplishment, and are sensible, that it is hardly, if at all, to be acquir’d, but by conversing with us. For tho’ Men may have Wit and Judgment, yet the Liberty they take of thwarting, and opposing one another makes ’em Eager, and Disputative, Impatient, Sowre, and Morose; till by conversing with us, they grow insensibly asham’d of such Rustick Freedom. The truth of thisis Evident from the Observation of theUniversities, andInnsofCourt, I mean those Students in ’em that lead a more recluse and Monastick Life, and converse little with our Sex. They want neither Wit, nor Learning, and frequently neither Generosity, nor Good Nature, yet when they come into gay, tho’ Ingenious Company, are either damp’d and silent, or unseasonably Frolicksom and Free, so that they appear either Dull, or Ridiculous.
Gallantry acquir’d by our Company.
Nor isComplacencethe only thing these Men want, they want likewise theGallantryof those Men that frequent our Company. This Quality is the heigth and perfection of Civility, without which it is either Languishing, or Formal, and with which it appears always with an engaging Air of Kindness, and Good Will. It sets a value upon the most inconsiderable Trifles, and turns every Civility into an Obligation. For in ordinary Familiarities, and civil Correspondencies, we regard not so much what, ashow things are done, the Manner is more lookt upon than the Matter of such Courtesies. Almost all Men that have had a liberal, and good Education know, what is due to Good Manners, and civil Company. But till they have been us’d a little to Our Society, their Modesty fits like Constraint upon ’em, and looks like a forc’d Compliance to uneasie Rules, and Forms of Civility. Conversing frequently with us makes ’em familiar to Men, and when they are convinc’d, as well of the Easiness, as the Necessity of ’em, they are soon reconcil’d to the Practice. This Point once gain’d, and they become expert in the common, and necessary Practices. Those that have any natural Bravery of Mind, will never be contented to stop there; Indifference is too cold and Phlegmatick a thing for ’em, a little Formal Ceremony, and common Civilities, such as are paid to e’ry one of Course, will not satisfie their Ambitious Spirits, which will put ’em upon endeavouring for better Receptions, and obliging those,whom they can’t without Reproach to themselves offend. This is the Original, and first Spring ofGallantry, which is an Humour of Obliging all People, as well in our Actions as Words. It differs fromComplacence,|Difference betwixt Complacence and Gallantry.|this being more active, that more passive; This inclines us to oblige, by doing or saying after our own Humours such things as we think will please; that by submitting to, and following theirs. A Man may beComplacentwithoutGallantry, but he can’t beGallantwithoutComplacence. For ’tis possible to please and be agreable, without shewing our own Humours to Others; but ’tis impossible without some regard to theirs: yet this Pleasure will be but faint and languid, without a Mixture of both. This mixture of Freedom, Observance, and a desire of pleasing, when rightly tempered, is the true Composition of Gallantry; of which, who ever is compleat Master, can never fail of being both admir’d, and belov’d. This Accomplishment is best, if not only to be acquir’d byconversing with us; for besides the natural Deference, which the Males of every observable Species of the creation pay to their Females, and the Reasons before given forComplacence, which all hold good here, there is a tender Softness in the Frame of our Minds, as well as in the Constitution of our Bodies, which inspires Men, a Sex more rugged, with the like Sentiments, and Affections, and infuses gently and insensibly a Care to oblige, and a Concern not to offend us.
Invention, improv’d by our Society.
Hence it is that they employ all theirArt,Wit, andInventionto say and do things, that may appear to us, surprizing and agreable either for their Novelty or Contrivance. The very End and Nature of Conversation among us retrench aboundance of those things, which make the greatest part of Men’s discourse, and they find themselves oblig’d to strain their Inventions to fetch from other Springs, Streams proper to entertain us with. This puts ’em upon beating and ranging orethe Fields of Fancy to find something new, something pretty to offer to us, and by this means refines at the same time their Wit, and enlarges, and extends their Invention; For by forcing ’em out of the common Road, they are necessitated to invent new Arguments, and seek new ways to divert and please us, and by restraining the large Liberty they take one with another, they are compell’d to polish their Wit, and File off the Roughness of it. To this they owe, the Neatness of Raillery, to which abundance of Gentlemen are now arriv’d; For Contrariety, of Opinions, being that which gives Life, and Spirit to Conversation, as well Women as Men do frequently hold Arguments contrary to their real Opinions, only to heigthen the Diversion, and improve the pleasure of Society. In these the utmost Care is taken to avoid all things that may sound harsh, offensive, or indecent, their Wit is employ’d only to raise mirth, and promote good Humour, Conditions that can’t well be observ’d, whenMencontend for Realities,|Fools no fit Companions for Women.|and dispute for the Reputation of their Wit or Judgment, and the truth of their Opinions. ’Tis true these Improvements are to be made only by Men, that have by Nature an improvable Stock of Wit and good Sense; For those that have it not, being unable to distinguish what is proper for their Imitation, are apt to Ape us in those Things which are the peculiar Graces and Ornaments of our Sex, and which are the immediate Objects of Sight, and need no further Reflection, or thinking. This Affectation is notorious in our ModernBeau’s, who observing the Care taken by some of our Sex in the setting of their Persons, without penetrating any farther into the Reasons Women have for it, or considering, that what became them, might be ridiculous in themselves, fall to licking, sprucing, and dressing their Campaign Faces, and ill contriv’d Bodies, that now, like all Foolish Imitatours, they out do the Originals, and out-powder, out-patch, and out-paint the Vainestand most extravagant of our Sex at those Follies, and are perpetually Cocking, Brustling, Twiring, and making Grimaces, as if they expected we shou’d make Addresses to ’em in a short Time. Yet ought not this to discourage any Ingenious Person, or bring any Scandal upon our Conversation, any more than Travelling ought to be brought into Disrepute, because it is observ’d, that those, who goabroad Fools, return Fops. It is not in our power to alter Nature, but to polish it, and if an Ass has learnt all his Paces, ’tis as much as the thing is capable of, ’twere absurd to expect he shou’d chopLogick. This is so far from being an Objection against us, that it is an Argument, that none but Ingenious Men are duely qualified to converse with us; Who by our Means have not only been fitted, and finish’d for great things, but have actually aspir’d to ’em. For ’tis my Opinion, that we owe the Neat, Gentile Raillery in SirGeorge Etheredge, and SirCharles Sedley’s Plays, and the GallantVerses of Mr.Wallerto their Conversing much with Ladies. And I remember an Opinion of a very Ingenious Person, who ascribes the Ruine of theSpanish Grandeurin great measure, to the ridiculing in the Person ofDon Quixot, theGallantryof thatNationtoward theirLadies. This Opinion however Ingenious carries me beyond the Scope and design of the present Argument, and therefore I shall leave all further Consideration of it to those that are more at leisure, and less weary than I am at present.
There remain yet some things to be spoken to, but I must confess to you,Madam, that I am already very much tired, and I have reason to fear that you are more. When you enjoyn’d me this Task, I believe, you did not expect, I am sure, I did not intend so long a Letter. I know I have written too much, yet I leave you to judge, whether it be enough. One Experience I have gain’d by this Essay, that I find, when our Hands are in, ’tis ashard to stop ’em, as our Tongues, and as difficult not to write, as not to talk too much. I have done wondring at thoseMen, that can write huge Volumes upon slender Subjects, and shall hereafter admire their Judgment only, who can confine their Imaginations, and curb their wandring Fancies. I pretend no Obligation upon our Sex for this Attempt in their Defence; because it was undertaken at your Command, and for your Diversion only, which if I have in any measure satisfied, I have my Ambition, and shall beg nothing farther, than that my ready Obedience may excuse the mean Performance of
Madam,Your real Friend, andMost humble Servant.
Madam,Your real Friend, andMost humble Servant.
Madam,Your real Friend, andMost humble Servant.
Madam,
Your real Friend, and
Most humble Servant.