To evince this, let me here descend a little to Particulars. Parents desire their Children’s Happiness, (I say nothing of those Monsters who neither feel nor act the Parent’s Part) but how do they attempt to reach it? certainly in a Path the most remote from it. No sooner have Children a Place on the great Stage of the World, but their Will is irregularly cherished; before they know wherethey are, or know to what End they have a Being, their tender Minds are impressed with Principles as opposite to Happiness as Light to Darkness. Who first awakens in them a Spirit of Resentment and fierce Revenge, even before they can speak? Those who beat the Floor, the Chair, the Table, or whatever little Master has heedlessly run against, and hurt himself with. Who first inflames their Vanity, by kindling in them Self-admiration, and a Passion for Dress? Those who set out with teaching Miss to admire herself only because she is fine. Who is it raises in them a Thirst of Gain, an early, and a sordid Love of Money? Those who give a mean Reward the Preference to Virtue; or who, by direct or oblique Insinuations, persuade them that there is no Happiness but in Riches. Who, in a Word, exposes them to the Fury of every tempestuous Passion, by opening the Flood-gates of irregular Pleasures? Those who indulge them in every thing they ask; who never contradict their Humour, however irregular; or who neglect to curb their Passions, and subject them to Reason. From this View of the too general Conduct of Parents, we may with Reason infer that Fear, the Spring which actuates the Majority of Mankind, is more acquired than natural: for where inordinate Desires are cherished, aFear of not obtaining what we wish, or of losing what we possess, produces many Actions unworthy ourselves: Actions not only unjustifiable, but which constitute certain Misery under the Mask of Happiness.
To obviate then these Evils, to prevent the Acquisition of a base, mean, unmanly Fear, and to lead Children into the Path to Happiness, let Parents, as I have before recommended, make Love take the deepest Root in them, but as Fear will naturally by turns prevail, let them with the warmest Zeal labour to make it a Fear dictated by Love, and guided by Reason.
But how shall this be effected unless Parents act on right Principles? The grand Obligations of Parents to their Children consist in teaching them a Knowledge of themselves, a Love of Duty, and a Love of Virtue. Whence it is evident, that the Attention of Parents to conduct their Children as they ought, is indispensably necessary, even to the third Stage of Life; but it is doubly so at the Beginning. It is a judicious Observation, that he who sets out wrong is half undone; and tho’ this holds good in the general Concerns of Life, yet it is no where more applicable than in the false Steps taken in the initiating our Children. For if Principlesopposite to Self-knowledge, Duty and Virtue, are either created, inculcated, or cherished, where is the Wonder that Children prove the reverse of what was expected? or that while they seem to aim at Happiness they find themselves wretched?
Those who build with Judgment, are always careful to lay a solid Foundation. I will now hope that Parents are sensible that the general Practice in the Management of Children is erroneous; and the general Neglect of them unjustifiable. I will hope too, that I have here shewn, however imperfectly, that Virtue alone is the Basis on which their Happiness is to be raised. An early Obedience, a Love of Truth, a spotless Innocence, and a becoming Courage, tempered with Self-knowledge, make the Ground-work of my Design; of that genuine Manners I mean to recommend. The Edifice however is still to be rear’d; that is, other Virtues both general and particular are to be taught, and brought into Habit: the whole Frame of Mind and Heart must appear regular, orderly, and beautiful; not accidentally so, but resulting from Reflection; they must be eager to embrace Virtue, and watchful to shun Vice: in a Word, be always dispos’d to do what is right, and never, with Design, do what is wrong. Here perhapsI should throw aside my Pen: if I have been so happy as to convince Parents of their first Mistakes in this important Work; those once rectify’d, the rest may be supply’d by abler Guides: for I neither have, nor pretend to have, the Power requisite to display or enforce those Virtues, the Knowledge and Observance of which make up the Measure of our Duty.
But to awaken Parents still farther, I must observe, that teaching their Children all the moral Duties is not only their Province, but more or less their Obligation. A learned and ingeniousFrenchAuthor says, that Parents are the best Instructors, if they themselves are well instructed. For, says he, “A Father who has but two or three accustom’d to respect him, finds no Difficulty in keeping them to their Duty. He has them constantly at home with him; he can take the Hours when they are most docible; he knows their Capacity, their Genius, and their Inclinations. He can instruct them at leisure, and allow the necessary Time for it.” And a little farther he adds; “What is here said of Fathers must in Proportion be understood of Mothers, principally in regard of their Daughters.” Here then I recommend to Parents that they do not content themselves with laying theFoundation, but labour on till the Superstructure is raised and the Design compleated. For as Men who justly aim at Reputation, and who desire to fill with Honour some Post or Profession, spare no Pains to qualify themselves for it; so those, who would fulfil the Design of Providence in making them Parents, must take care that they do not lead Children out upon the Stage of the World, and leave them to act their Part alone, till they have taught them those Duties that will best secure Happiness both to themselves and others.
It will still perhaps be expected that I should treat of the farther Means to effect this great End; but my Readers must remember, that besides my being unequal to the Task, besides my being confined to the Compass of a small Volume, these important Matters have already been handled by many abler Pens, to which I refer them. However, to answer in some measure a reasonable Expectation, and farther to prove the Sincerity of my Intentions, I will here touch on those Virtues which are universally allowed to be essentially necessary; and which all, who would be esteemed wise and good, must both know and practise.
We are now to suppose, that Children areconsiderably advanced; not only that their first Lessons were Obedience, but that their Minds have been tempered with Duty, and with such a Knowledge of Right and Wrong, as strongly to incline them to adhere to the one and avoid the other: we will suppose too, that their Reason, unblinded by Passion, has gained so much Strength as to be able to exert itself to advantage: that is, that those Perceptions and Distinctions, with many other things which natural Logic is capable of teaching, have so far improved their Understanding, and disposed their Will, that they are fitted to receive more important Lessons, and practise them when taught.
Prudence then comes first under Consideration: it implies such an orderly Conduct of our Words and Actions, as keeps us free from those Irregularities which hurt ourselves and offend others. Prudence is a Virtue attended with innumerable good Effects, but particularly as it frequently shuts the Door not only against Misfortunes, but against Injustice. It is not to be doubted but that the Prudent are sometimes unfortunate. A thousand Evils surround us, a thousand Darts threaten our Destruction, which cannot be obviated because they cannot be foreseen: still it is certain that Prudence keeps off many Calamities which would otherwise befall us.
But besides the Advantages arising from Prudence to ourselves, it makes us pleasing and useful to others. Men naturally love to converse with the Discreet; from them they learn the Art of shunning those Rocks which so many others have split on; from them they discover a safer Path to tread in; and from them they often labour to model their own Actions. Farther, the Prudent are not only pleasing, but valuable to Society. A prudent Man is esteemed by all who have any Dealing with him. Mankind have naturally an Attachment to their Property; therefore are they with great Reason inclined to trust it in the Hands of the Discreet, rather than the Indiscreet. Hence appears the Necessity of teaching Children the Nature and Advantages of Prudence; but as it is one of the graver Virtues, it seldom appears in young People, unless it be those who are so happy as to have prudent Parents, that labour to implant an early Habit of it in them.
There is a natural Consciousness in the Mind of Man of his own Significance; and where he takes Prudence for his Guide, some real Advantage may always be made of it. No Man is so high as not to require the Aid of those beneath him; no one so low but hemay be useful to his Betters. Parents therefore instead of inculcating on their Children a false Pride, or raising in them a vain-glorious Flame, should give them a due Sense of others Significance and their own; this, accompanied with Prudence, will shew them the true light they stand in; shew them their just Distance from those above them, their Nearness to those beneath them. From this View will arise not only that genuine Self-knowledge so essentially necessary for their Conduct in Life, but that becoming Pride, which at the same time that it proves to them the Obligation of acting in some certain Sphere, animates them with Resolution to behave in it as they ought.
Prudence is a Check to Extravagance, Vice, and Folly; nay, it is often the Guide of virtuous Actions; for even Benevolence, Generosity, and Charity, Actions greatly noble in themselves, unless well directed, timed, and placed, will often be the Cause of others Ruin and our own. Prudence therefore, of all Virtues, may justly be call’d the Balance that keeps us from Extremes.
I have elsewhere observed how dangerous it is for Parents to rate their Children too high; nor is it less so to sink them too low: there is a certain Spirit to be maintained,without which our Children will degenerate into Meanness; there is a Degree of Dignity they must support, without which they will become not merely useless, but burthensome: Parents therefore must carefully attend to this, lest in avoiding one Evil they fall into another: And no Means so likely to gain the Medium, as Self-knowledge under the Direction of Prudence. By this they are check’d in the Pride of towering too high; and by this they are lifted from that Meanness which Sloth, Ignorance, or false Humility is apt to plunge them into.
Here I might expatiate on the Cruelty of some Parents, who use every body well but their own Children; who act not only the Sovereign, but the Brute, the Tyrant, and the Monster over those whom Nature calls on them to cherish, comfort, and love: and often, under the Pretext of making their Children humble, harrass them into Misery, and fix a Hatred to themselves. However, I will not pursue a Reflection so shocking to Nature; but rather hope that once to know it will be a sufficient Motive for it’s Banishment.
But of all the Advantages attending Prudence, there is none equal to the Bar it puts against the Rashness of young People inplunging themselves into the Mistake of an inconsiderate Marriage: and indeed were it the sure Means of preventing this Evil alone, it would both demand and deserve all the Attention of Parents to lead their Children into the Knowledge and Practice of it. How few are those whose Passions never rise above the Mark of Reason; how few whose Duty never nods; what Grief does such a mistaken Step bring on the Parents; what Care, what Sorrow, what Misery on the Children! Here, in the strongest Light, we may view the necessity of Prudence. Suppose a Father (one of some Figure and Circumstances) educates his Son suitable to his Condition in Life; and then engages him in Business, either as a Clerk, an Apprentice, or whatever Station occurs: at this Age, and in this Situation, he is exposed to a thousand Dangers; but particularly to that of a rash and an unequal Marriage. The young Fellow, if unguarded by Prudence, is open to all the Arts, the Smiles, the Hypocrisy of some one at least of the opposite Sex, who thinks it her Business to make her Fortune; while he, a Stranger to his own Heart, and ignorant of the Consequences of such a Step, involves himself in Sorrow, if not in Destruction. The transient pleasing Dream once past, he looks around him with Amazement! but ’tis now too late! the Chain is link’d,the Fetters are tied, and nothing but Death can break them! After various Contrivances to conceal the rash Deed, at length it reaches the Parents Ears. What a Scene of Affliction is here! Not the lively Picture of a Poet’s Fancy; not the fabled Representation of romantic Distress; but real Life overwhelmed with boundless Grief. A generous Father who has spared no Cost to promote his Son’s Felicity; a tender Mother, who with endless Anxiety has sought the fairest Prospect for her favourite Boy; view them alternately struggling with Love, and Rage, and Fear, and Resentment! What must they feel to see their Expectations frustrated, their utmost Wishes vanished, their darling Child undone! We say, it is dangerous to rouze a sleeping Lion; nor is it less so, to kindle the Resentment of Parents: for to be greatly exasperated is to fall into a Frenzy, which we cannot stop at Will. Thus it often happens with those whose Children precipitate themselves into Misery; their Rage becomes a continual Resentment, or an unconquerable Hatred. And alas! how dreadful are the Effects! What more common than for a Child to be banished from his Parents for a Step like this. I know not what Effect a Description may have on those who hear or read it, but, for my own Part, I think a Child, who thro’ such gross Follyand Disobedience has shut himself out from the Doors, the Hearts, the Affection of his Parents, is in the most calamitous Situation upon Earth.
But let us change the Scene. Let us suppose the Parents Grief subsided, or that Love and Pity have got the better of Resentment. How fares it with the disproportioned Couple? Does a Reconciliation with the Parents secure Happiness to them? Alas, no; they know but little of Life who conclude so. There is always Danger in Disparity, especially where Vanity or Ambition predominates. The Woman who is suddenly lifted up from a very low Condition, commonly makes but an aukward Figure; and what is worse, she is apt, in affecting to be like her Betters, to misuse the Dominion she is invested with; and, instead of demeaning herself like a good Wife, she becomes a Vixen, a Shrew or a Tyrant. Yet granting that none of these Evils happen, granting that a Woman has really Merit, and that the labours to improve her natural Talents, in order to suit them to her new Condition, there are still other Evils to fear. Reflection on past Folly naturally draws Resentment on the Object of it: and tho’ when two Parties once become Man and Wife, they are obliged to maintain Fidelity, Tenderness and Love toone another; yet Experience unhappily shews us that this Obligation is often violated. He who is extravagantly fond without Regard to Merit, will often be unreasonable without Provocation. Thus, when a Man, in his cooler Thoughts, compares what he is, with what he might have been; reflects on what he has lost in grasping imaginary Happiness, or views himself, thro’ a Disparity of Years, chained to faded Beauty, to declining Life, while himself is in his Bloom; not all the natural or acquired Merit of his Wife, not all the Tenderness that can flow from the sincerest Love will be able to balance his Disappointment: he frets, and swears, and raves, he breaks out into Extravagancies, which frequently end in the Destruction of them both; Destruction to their Peace, and Destruction to their Fortune.
Nor is this Portrait of private Woe the only one that can be represented. A thousand others might be produced, all essentially the same, all fraught with Misery, and only different in circumstances or Degree. To see the Heir of a great Estate forsake his Father’s Mansion, and marry the Dairy-maid; to see a young Lady trained up in all the Pomp and Pride of Wealth, throw herself into the Arms of a Man whose only Merit perhaps is a deceitful Tongue, or a borrowedlac’d Coat; or to see another steal to theFleetand marry her Father’s Footman; are things so preposterous in their Nature, that one cannot reflect on them without shuddering.
Certain it is, that great Merit sometimes lies cover’d in Obscurity; and it is but justice to render it conspicuous, by raising the Possessors of it to an exalted Station. And farther, a young Man, who has with great Pains and Expence qualified himself to act in a genteel Profession, tho’ he should not have a Shilling in the World, has a Title to expect a Fortune with a Wife; nor does he know his own Significance if he neglects it: for allowing that the Woman he marries has Personal Merit, if they are balanced by the same good Qualities on his Side, the Prospect he has from his Trade or Profession is often more than an Equivalent for the Advantages he reaps by her Fortune. Nor is it these things I mean to inveigh against; what I condemn is in general far otherwise: we see a wild Flame seize our Youth, Inclination cherishes it, and they fall a Sacrifice to their Imprudence. How happy then are they whom Prudence guides; how consoling the Reflection, that by steering with this Pilot they escape the common Wreck.
Among the moral Virtues necessary to be inculcated, among the Obligations of Parents to their Children, nothing so much demands their Diligence, Attention and Regard, as the teaching them a Knowledge and a Love of Justice. How noble is this Virtue! how vast in it’s Extent! and, alas! how little is it practised! Some Virtues stand as it were alone, and may be separated from every other; but this, when understood and practised in it’s utmost Latitude, seems to unite almost every Virtue to itself. Justice teaches us all the Obligations we are bound to maintain in Society; now it is certain that these are many more than are generally understood. Men soon learn those things which the Laws take Cognizance of; and therefore, unless quite wretched or abandoned, avoid them; but what are these, if compared to many others which Nature, Reason and Reflection make us conscious of? What are these to the many Injustices which spring from Pride, Sloth, Lust, Avarice, Slander and Revenge? Surely nothing. But without enquiring what Actions evade the Law, or triumph over it, I will endeavour to give my Readers a true Idea of Justice; and point out to them the proper Steps for leading Children into the Exercise of it.
Here I cannot avoid returning back to theInfancy of Children, nor help reminding Parents of the Necessity of an early Care. Virtuous Principles are the best Foundation of virtuous Habits; and should the Seeds of Passion be too deeply rooted in our Nature to be extirpated, Reason, we know, has Power to keep them in Subjection. This premised, I recommend to Parents the utmost Assiduity in shutting out the very Source of Injustice; that is, they must counteract those Passions which tend to produce it; not only by inculcating the opposite Virtues, but by frequent Reflections on the Danger of cherishing irregular Desires.
Justice is to be considered as general and particular; and tho’ Mankind are apt to content themselves with a general Justice, yet it can never claim the Merit of an exalted Virtue, unless we both know and practise it in particular. To attain this Knowledge and Love of Justice, Children are to be taught, even before they can speak, to part with any thing they are in Possession of, and this readily, and without Clamour: the Effect of which will be, that when a little more advanced, and they can distinguish their own things from others, they will not eagerly desire the Property of a Brother, a Sister, or Play-fellow. The next Step is, that Parents avoid with the utmost Caution every the leastDeceit, especially about Money, and every thing which discovers to their Children a Fondness for it. There is nothing more surprising to me, than the universal Disregard Parents have to the Presence of their Children; a thousand things in Life are necessary to be said and done which they, particularly while young, should not be Witnesses to; and yet are Parents every Day and Hour so impolitic and so imprudent, as not only to disclose their inmost Thoughts, but to transact the most improper, nay perhaps the most unjustifiable things before their Faces. As Children seldom have Judgment to distinguish, they can only catch Appearances. Now suppose a Man in a just Cause has played the Politician, and by the Force of Stratagem recovered his Right; can it be a proper Subject for Children to be in the hearing of? But should this Man have gone farther, and should he boast a Conquest unjustly gain’d, perhaps to the Ruin of another; what Effect must this have on the tender Minds of Children? Children in general act by Imitation; therefore, as far as can be, they should see nothing but what they may imitate. But farther, Children naturally think those things right which they see done by their Parents; therefore they should see no Action in them but what is really so. Farther still, Children, even under a virtuousEducation, are surrounded with a thousand Incitements to Ill; their Eyes and Ears are continually open, and continually receive corrupt Impressions, which dart to the Mind and Heart of the most innocent: where then can they fly for an Antidote to this Poison? To whom shall they have recourse; or by whom shall they be furnished with Weapons for their Defence? By those to whom they are bound by every Tye; Parents alone must stop the Torrent of every Evil to their Children, not only by virtuous Precepts, but by virtuous Example. For as it is a certain Truth, that the Influence of Parents is more than a Balance for a thousand others, the Necessity of their opposing Vice with Virtue, is every way apparent: nor is it any where more so than in the noble Cause of Justice.
This Rule established, I must again repeat to Parents the avoiding before their Children every Appearance of Deceit, and every Fondness for Money. If Children are taught to deceive, they will be induced to practise it for the Sake of Gain; and if a Love of Gain be cherished in them, they will often use Deceit to acquire it. How apt are Parents to Wish for Money in their Children’s hearing; and this, not merely the Indigent, those who want many of theComforts, the Necessaries of Life, but those who have already perhaps more than they make a good Use of.Tom, says a vain Father to his Son, had I ten thousand Pound, you should be the smartest Fellow in the Kingdom, ne’er a Lord in the Land should out-do you. Thus too, a doating Mother addresses her Daughter, What Pity it is my dearNancyshould not keep her Coach; so sweet a Girl! Oh! that I was but rich, you should marry nothing less than a Lord. What must be the Effect of this Language? Must it not inflame the Heart, or fly to the Head and make it giddy? most certainly. Nor does it stop here; for when this irregular Love of Money is once deeply rooted, irregular Steps will often be taken to make it thrive.
But to pursue the Idea of Justice, let me not confine myself to the Passions, but speak likewise to the Understanding. I will hope that Parents have shewn Children in Infancy the general Justice I have spoken of; the obvious Rules of Right and Wrong; and check’d in them every Shadow of Injustice: that is, that they have taught them never to meddle with Money, be it more or less, or with whatever else belongs to another; nor even to desire it; nor to be fond of dwelling on it, counting it, or chinking it; (for Money has a strange Effect on bothEyes and Ears:) never to put their Hands into another’s Pockets; much less to unlock a Scrutore: never to evade the Payment or Acknowledgment of a single Farthing; nor obtain unjustly even a Top, a Marble, or whatever can be called the Property of another. Farther, that as they advance, Parents inform them that there is a constant Intercourse between Man and Man: that Providence has created some to labour one way, some another; that the various Wants of Life are to be supplied by the Care, the Industry, and the Sagacity of each in their several Stations; that the Poor are destined to labour for the Rich, and the Rich to employ and reward the Poor: that some in fine are born to govern, others to be governed. That this Intercourse is called Society; and that Justice alone is the Band that connects and ties it; consequently, that he is the most valuable Member of Society, who despising selfish or sinister Views, who shunning the Tricks, the Frauds, the Villainies of others, resolves to make Justice his Rule of Action. That to this End, besides a general Knowledge of Property, and an Acquaintance with those Laws which are made to defend it; besides the adjusting Profits in Trade, stating Accounts fairly, and paying Debts regularly; there are still many things to be considered, some of which I will hereendeavour to reason upon, as they visibly produce some certain kind of Injustice in their Effects, tho’ their Cause is often hid from common Eyes, or they are disguised by false or palliative Names.
The first Spring of Injustice is Pride. Children, as I have just observed, have their Minds impressed with a Love of Riches; whence naturally follows an undue Degree of Self-esteem, accompany’d with a Love of Power, Show, and Dignity: now to effect these, a thousand Stratagems are used; every Obstacle which stands in the Way to Wealth or Preferment must be overturned; every Difficulty must be removed. Hence it is easy to see that unjust Means will often be used to gain the desired End; and hence it is plain that those who ascend by indirect and violent Measures, crush down many others as they pass. Parents therefore to obviate this, must teach their Children that nothing can be lawful which injures others; that they may indeed arrive at Honours and acquire Riches; but that unless they are obtained without Guilt, and possessed without Pride, they cannot be just: for even allowing that no undue Means are used to support our Pride, there is Injustice riveted to the Vice itself; for the Proud, to raisethemselves, always attempt to depress or debase others.
Another Cause of Injustice is Sloth. Providence has created us to labour; the Head, the Hands, the Feet, all are given to answer in some Degree the same End; that is, the Preservation of ourselves, and the Benefit of others. None are born to be idle, none who are so can with any Truth be said to fill up Life as they ought. Those who have Talents are bound to cultivate them as far as they have Opportunity, that they may counsel, instruct, or assist others: those who have Fortune cannot without Injustice neglect the Care, the Improvement, and the Distribution of it: those who have no Fortune, but enjoy Health and Limbs, are Robbers of Society if they refuse to work: and indeed among the various Objects of Sloth, those who exercise neither Head, nor Hands, nor Feet, but lounge and fawn and beg for a Subsistence, no Matter whether in Rags or Finery, are of all others the most mean, at the same time that they are grossly unjust. The Virtues opposite to this are, Industry, Application, and Oeconomy; which Parents must raise in their Children betimes, and cherish with Zeal and Pains.
A third Source of Injustice is Lust. What I have before said of an universal Regard to Decency both in Words and Actions must not be confined to the State of Childhood, but be enforced by Parents on their Children as Rules that are never to be departed from; since what is in it’s Nature wrong, nothing can make right: for if Innocence be a Virtue, which even the abandoned will hardly dispute, every Deviation from it must be more or less a Vice. As this then is a settled point, enlarging on it here is needless; my only Aim on this Head being to make some Reflections on the Vice when manifestly attended with Injustice.
It has been the Custom of every wise Nation both in their Writings and Conversation, to inculcate and enforce the finest Morals, the most important Truths under an Allegory or Fable; and where the Simile is natural and the Expression emphatic, nothing is more powerful. Suppose then a Father should lead his Son, as he approaches to Manhood, into a Garden, and thus address him. “View here, my dear Child, the Beauties of the Creation; see how abundantly the Earth is furnished with all that can contribute both to our Use and Delight. But besides the unmeasurable Bounty of Providence, behold the Gardener’sincessant Toil; what pains he takes to improve the Soil; with what early Care does he water each tender Plant; how watchful to secure them against destroying Vermin, and how anxious to defend his Flowers from Blasts! Now tho’ Providence has given toMana Power over all the Works of the Creation, ’twas never meant he should abuse them. What then would you think of him who should pluck the choicest Flowers here, purely for the sake of destroying them? But should he go farther, and exercise a wanton Pleasure not only in stripping them of their Beauty, but in rendering them offensive and odious to all who see them? What, my Son, I say, would you think of such a Man? But Oh! my dear Boy, should this affect you, should this raise in you a Degree of Contempt; with how much Indignation must you behold the Wretch, who, with a Complication of Crimes has deflowered the fairest Part of the whole Creation: not an inanimate Rose, or Pink, or Lilly; but robb’d a spotless Virgin of her Innocence! Tremble, my dear, dear Child, tremble at the very Thought of so much Baseness! View with impartial Eyes the guilty Deed! On one side the Deceit, the Oaths, the Perjuries, and a thousand criminalInventions to gain the desired End; on the other, the dreadful Change from Innocence to Guilt; from Honour to Infamy; from the Esteem of all, to the Contempt of all; and what is stranger still, forsaken and despised by the very Seducer himself! Yet Oh! my Son, let not these Reflections be made in vain; but draw Profit from others Crimes: examine them in their true Light; be not misled by those who palliate the blackest Actions with the specious Names of Wit, and Love, and Gallantry; but live in a Resolution never to share in their Guilt; never to injure another in the least Degree; but above all resolve to suffer a thousand Evils, to sacrifice every Passion, rather than even stain, much less destroy, the Flower of Innocence.”
These are Sentiments our Sons must be warmed with; these are Ideas of Justice they must not be Strangers to, if we wish to make them good Men, or desire to fulfil our Obligations as Parents. Innocence, wherever it resides, is an inestimable Treasure; two things therefore Parents have to do herein, viz. to teach their Children neither to destroy another’s Innocence; nor suffer others to sully theirs. The first has just been spoken of: I will only add, thatthe same Regard must be paid to all Degrees, whether high or low: it is the Vice we are to keep in view, not the Quality of the Person. ’Tis no Extenuation of the Crime, that a Gentleman’s Son seduced his Master’s Cook; or that a young Nobleman has ruined only a Tenant’s Daughter, or his Mother’s Chamber-maid; no, no, there are no Distinctions in Virtue’s Cause: that lost, there are always some to weep; the poorest have their Parents, their Relations, or their Friends, to lament their sad Mishap; and those who are robbed of what cannot be restored, have always their own Loss to deplore.
The next Care of Parents on this Head is, that they labour to preserve their Children’s Innocence from being tainted by others. One would imagine when Parents had taught their Children every Virtue, and enforced them by their own Example, their Duty would be compleat; but far from it; they have still the Obligation of representing to them the Snares, the Artifices, the Villainies of designing People. In my last View I have shewn that our Sons, either hurried by Passion, led by false Notions of Gallantry, or Strangers to Right and Wrong, are often the Instruments, or liable at least to be the Instruments, of others Destruction: inthis I must touch on the Necessity Children are under of being defended from receiving Injuries. And here I must observe, that both Sexes are equally in Danger. The Girls indeed have by Nature and Education more Innocence, as well as more Tenderness; the Boys, tho’ more robust, have more Temptations. Men are the Instruments, and dreadful ones too, which chiefly destroy our Daughters; but bad Women on one hand, and corrupt Men on the other, combine to destroy our Sons. Let Parents then point out to them the Dangers they are exposed to, and furnish them with every Means for their Defence; let them shew that the Colours Vice is painted in are false and delusive; that however pleasing the Appearances are, the Effects are bitter; that our corrupt Imagination is extremely apt to mislead us, therefore they must not trust to this Guide, but seek Security from Reason and Reflection; that they must not rely on their own Strength, by exposing themselves to those who have the Subtlety and Cruelty to form Designs against their Virtue; and that, in these Cases, the greatest Proof they can give of their Courage is to run away, because their Passions naturally incline them to stay; that those, in a word, who wish to maintain their Virtue, must shun the Vicious:and where the Affairs of Life unavoidably expose them to the Company of such, let them by a constant discountenancing Deportment, shew their Disapprobation of every unbecoming Word or Action; whereby they will check, and often prevent, any Attacks on their Innocence. But farther, to enforce the Virtue of Innocence, let Parents shew their Children the Obligations they are under of preserving it; that besides the Insult offered to their Creator who made them rational Beings, and thereby distinguished them from the Brutes, their departing from it is an Injustice to themselves, an Injustice to their Parents, and to all those who have laboured to correct the natural Corruption of their Hearts, by instilling into them every virtuous Principle.
A fourth Cause of Injustice is Avarice: which implies an inordinate Love of Gain. Avarice puts on a thousand Shapes, and is to be found in Men of every Rank and every Age; but it is most apparent in the Rich and the Old: which is an Aggravation of the Vice; because the one have more than enough already, and the other have not long to enjoy the Fruits of it, even should they live to reap them. But what is most alarming in the Avaritious is, the extreme Dangerof going beyond the Bounds of Justice; and whatDryden[5]says of Wits and Madmen may, by the easiest Change,[6]be apply’d without Impropriety to the Covetous and the Dishonest. How many Schemes are formed, how many Devices used to raise a Fortune, or to add Hoard to Hoard? One circumvents another in Trade; and with more than savage Cruelty, abuses the Power he has by keeping those under that might otherwise flourish; and had rather see another starve, than himself be deprived of what he does not want. A second burns with a Thirst of Gaming, and values himself for his superior Parts, if he can trick another out of his Money at Play; regardless of the dreadful Consequences attending the Loss; and regardless of the Injustice of the Acquisition. How do they possess their Minds who have raised their Fortune on another’s Ruin? Do they ever reflect on the Misery of their wretched Companion; or do they view the Distress of his Wife, his Children, and his suffering Creditors? Surely if the Gamester did this, even he who wins, and wins by a fair Bet, and equal Lay, must tremble at Riches thus acquired: butif to this be added the Traps, the Snares, and other Artifices to draw in weak or unwary Men to their Ruin, what must we think of such Wretches? We may both pity and condemn the Ruined, but we must abhor those who caused it, however great their false Triumph may be. A third takes the Advantage of Distress or Weakness, and lends his Money, not with Kindness, but with a sordid View: these are the Men who grasp at Mortgages for the sake of fore-closing; and get Possession of an Estate for half it’s Value; who inveigle a Widow that they may ruin her Affairs, and enrich themselves; or get a Guardianship that they may beggar the Children. A fourth, sensible what Power Riches give him, employs it to the harrassing and depressing all beneath him; these are those who to add to their superfluous Wealth suck the Blood and Vitals of the Poor, by reducing their just Pay, and defrauding them of their Wages; or who with inhuman Scorn depreciate that Merit which others possess; or crush it in it’s Appearance. But how shall Parents, who perhaps may not live to be Witnesses to these Actions, prevent them in their Children? The Answer is easy. Imprint on them an early Love of Justice; and as they advance, shew them the various Ways of deviating from it; that by viewing these things intheir true Light, they may conceive a just Horror of Crimes so detestable in themselves, and so destructive to Society.
A fifth Source of Injustice is Slander. There are Men who would not game another out of his Money, nor forge a Deed, tho’ they could obtain his Estate with Security, nor run him thro’ the Body; yet shall, without Scruple, butcher his Reputation with Slander. An unbecoming Levity of Conversation and Behaviour is natural to many, who thereby do great Harm without once being aware of it; but this, tho’ a great Evil in Society, is Innocence, if compared with the Malevolence of others. There are Men of such rancorous Hearts, of such malicious Natures, that they seem to have nothing human but the Form; Wretches, who, to gratify their Spleen, or to indulge a Pique, tear in Pieces the Good-name of those whose Merit is perhaps superior to their own. All the moral Writers condemn this censuring, cruel Humour; and a celebrated dramatic Poet[7]describesvery beautifully the superior Loss of Reputation to that of Riches. A Man that is robbed on the High-way sees his Loss, and knows the worst of it; but he who is levelled at from afar, or receives a Stab in the dark, neither discovers his Enemy, nor knows where the Mischief will end. In the great Family of the World, every one is furnished with Means for his Support, be it more or less; all are in some Degree possessed of Power, Genius, or Abilities to procure, if not a Fortune, at least Subsistence; with what Face then does Mankind dare to frustrate the Intention of Providence, by robbing another of that Reputation which he is labouring to establish, and by which alone he is enabled to support his Wife, his Children, and himself. With what Pretensions, or by what Authority do they presume to strip another of the Merit he is possessed of? If I have less Merit than another, let me labour to equal him; should I perchance have more, let me not rob him of the little he is possessed of. But Men of this detestable Spirit imagine, that in making others little, they render themselves great; and thus unjustly use the Power they are invested with, by abusing their Hearers Ears; prostituting their own Tongues to the Destruction of others; and, lest Words should sometimes be ineffectual, they addNods, Winks, Shrugs, and whatever can express Malice, Hatred, or Contempt. Pure Morality teaches us to throw a Veil over others Faults; but Justice demands that we stifle not their Virtues, much less pervert them: that is, we should be ready to acknowledge the Merit due to them, but cannot deny it without the basest Injury.
Behold then what Justice requires of us! Parents who teach their Children a Knowledge of Property, who inspire them with a Resolution never to invade it in others, who teach them a Fairness in their Dealings, an Exactness in paying their Debts, and a just Detestation of the Tricks of sophisticating Goods, particularly Drugs, Wine, Food, and those things that often elude our Senses, or affect our Health; who teach them to obey the Laws of their Country, in avoiding all clandestine Trade, all Commerce in prohibited or contraband Goods, and make them ashamed of such Employments as require them to steal their Way through the World, or skulk about in the dark; those Parents, I say, who do this, do well: but that is not enough; they must check, nay conquer a babling censorious Disposition, and create in its stead that generous Tenderness for others that they would wish to meetwith themselves: but above all, they must inspire their Hearts and Lips with Justice, and imprint on their Souls a Sense of the Baseness of Detraction, Calumny, and Slander.
Before I quit this Head, I must touch on a Species of Injustice diametrically opposite to that we have been censuring: my Readers will perhaps be surprized when I say it is Silence. So much is due to the Cause of Justice, that we cannot always be silent without a Breach of it. Men complain, and very justly, that true Honour is rare to be found; yet, while this is granted, we must observe, that false Honour reigns in it’s stead; but my Purpose here is, to consider how far it is an Act of Injustice.
When a Man sets about a lawless Enterprize, his first Care is to engage what he calls a Friend to second his Attempts, or at least to promise him Secresy; but, to make it succeed, the Party employed is to be a Friend on both Sides: here then is a manifest Injustice in the Silence of the third Person, however innocent he may be otherwise. But what is the Principle they act upon? Honour. What! shall I betray my Friend! has he not reposed a Confidence in me? hehas; and I will be faithful to it. Who can reflect on the fatal Effects of this false Friendship, this mistaken Honour, without trembling? Who is there, with any Knowledge of the World, that has not seen Sorrow, Guilt, Destruction brought on Families by the Connivance of a Servant, the Silence of a Brother, and the Weakness of a Sister? What Barbarity in a favourite Maid to be the Instrument of a young Lady’s Ruin, by conveying a Scrub into the very Family whose Bread she eats; or at least sees her on the Brink of it, without speaking a Word for her Preservation? How dreadful are those Friendships, how preposterous that Silence, where a young Gentleman sees his Companion, his Fellow-Clerk, levelling at the Destruction of an innocent Girl, and not have the Soul to declare the guilty Design till too late? Or, finally, where is the Sense, the Good-Nature, or the Justice of her who sees a Brother taking fatal Steps, about to injure another’s Virtue, or marry a Beggar, or ruin himself, and, as far as he has Power, his Parents too, without once striking at the Root, by discovering his vicious Intentions and Practices? Who that can distinguish Right from Wrong, but must see the Injustice of this Silence? Parents therefore should animate their Children with a Resolution neverto enter into these false Friendships, never to promise what is in it’s Nature wrong, nor ever to promote or connive at another’s Harm, if in their Power to redress or prevent it. But farther, Parents, in forming their Children’s Minds, are in many Cases to adapt their Instructions to the Station of Life they are expected to act in. Those of Condition must not see their Parents injured, especially in a Matter of any Moment, and neglect to remove the Fault: those who are to serve, besides Duty and Respect, owe Justice; therefore must not only be faithful in their own Actions, but discover any real Injustice in those of others; and particularly they must detest with honest Scorn the being privy to an underhand Match. Laying Schemes, conveying Letters, Concealments from the Parents, or Denials where Danger is suspected, or otherwise contributing to the Ruin of a young Master or Lady, even tho’ they could make their own Fortune by being in the Secret, are Actions ever to be shunned, as they are base in their Nature, and grossly unjust.
The last Source of Injustice is Revenge. I have said before, that pure Morality teaches us to throw a Veil over others Faults; I may with equal Truth say, it obliges us to forgiveInjuries. For altho’ it is a Justice due to ourselves to maintain our Right, yet the same Self-Justice requires us to forgive those by whom we have been wrong’d. If we can remove an Injury, we may, and ought; but Revenge is not the Weapon we are to use for that Purpose. Whatever fires our Revenge, is apt to cloud our Reason; Men therefore who meditate Revenge, seldom have Reason for their Guide; and he who forsakes Reason, is a bad Judge how far Revenge should be carried. If we mentally survey a revengeful Man, how melancholy is the View! What Agitations in his Mind! what Flutterings in his Heart! All Nature seems convulsed within him! and, in the Midst of his Self-torture, his only Thoughts are, whether he shall ruin, or be ruined; murder, or be murdered! But if we go farther, and behold this Man in the Action he has so eagerly sought for, or carry our Ideas to the Consequences of it, we must tremble with Pity. His Countenance is an Index of his Mind: what Fury on his Brow; what Fire darts from his Eyes; what Malice, in confused, imperfect Accents, flows from his Lips; and what frantic Rage possesses his Soul! Sometimes a Duel is to repair the Injury; dreadful Situation! since whichsoever falls, the Calamity is inexpressible. Who can recall the Blood once spilt,the Life once lost? who can console the wretched Survivor, when Revenge is glutted, and Reflection calls him back to himself? or can the Receiver of the Challenge draw Consolation in his future Life, from a false Point of Honour? no, no; it is all Delusion; and independent of the Crimes which gave rise to it, the Deed itself is gross Injustice. Revenge puts on many Shapes: some seek it not in Blood, yet, with equal Fury, hunt another to Ruin and Death by unjust Law-suits. What Havock does this make! How many fall from Affluence to Want, from Splendor to a Goal, thro’ the Inveteracy of Revenge! Not all the Concessions of the opposite Party, not all the Tears of his Wife, nor the impending Ruin of his Children, can appease the Revengeful: Savage-like, he quits not his Hold till his Fury is glutted, till his Adversary is destroyed. Besides these, there are many other Species of Revenge, less obvious indeed, but perhaps not less criminal: there are Men whose Fury is less, but whose Malice is equal: Men with cooler Heads, but with inveterate Hearts. Injuries, whether fancied or real, seize the Heart of the Revengeful, and having once taken place, a thousand things are machinated for Retaliation of the Offence: every good Office ceases; ill Officestake place of them; cruel to their Character when absent; arrogant and disdainful to their Person when present; their Reputation torn to Pieces; false Constructions put on their most innocent Actions; and every sinister Means used to strip them of Fame, and Fortune; nay even of Bread. See here the dreadful Passion of Revenge; view the Cruelty on one Side, the ruinous Effects on the other. What Care then should Parents take to banish it from their Children’s Hearts, seeing it is the Source of Misery to themselves, and Destruction to others! Let them labour to stifle the first Resentments; let them speak to their Understandings as they advance. Youth is naturally full of Fire, and as now their Judgment is weak, they are easily misled by false Notions of Honour; but where Malice is found to reside in their Hearts, it will demand the utmost Pains to root it out: still all should aim at effecting it. To this End, besides checking the earliest Resentments, let Parents paint in the liveliest Colours the Deformity of Revenge; let them shew how much it destroys their own inward Peace; let them counteract the Passion by encouraging in them Meekness, Clemency and Love; and above all, prove to them how much they sink beneath the Dignity of Human Nature, how much they injure themselves,and how unjust they are to Society in every Action that is accompanied with Revenge; but particularly where Life, Health, Fame, Peace, or Property are affected by it.
Thus much have I said to shew the Necessity Parents are under of teaching their Children the Knowledge and Love of that great Bond of Society, Justice: it demands indeed much more Labour to discuss every Point; but I persuade myself, that if their Hearts are duly impressed with the Principles here laid down, they will be animated to know and practise every other Act of Justice which their various Stations in Life offer them the Occasions of. Virtues beget Virtues; one Act of Equity will lead them to a second; a second will warm them to the Execution of a third; a Self-denial of little irregular things, will make way for the Entrance of Reason; and Reason exercised on the solid Principles of Justice, will enable them to conquer every lawless Desire, every turbulent Passion.
Notwithstanding what has been said thro’ the Course of this Attempt, of conquering our Passions, it is not to be understood that we are to be passive, spiritless, and insipid; far from it; this would be frustrating theDesign of Providence. We are, under Reason’s Guide, to enjoy our own Minds with honest Freedom; and he who has a warm Heart, a chearful Mind, and a frank Behaviour, bids fairest for being a good Man. But what irresistibly proves us design’d for an active State, is, the Virtue of Fortitude. Fortitude is Patience improv’d; it is Courage exalted; it is that Virtue which enables us not only to bear Sickness, Pain, Disgrace, and Poverty, but arms us with Power either to conquer these Evils, or at least so to weaken their Force that they may not bear too hard upon us. In viewing Mankind in general, or if each views himself in particular, it will be found that Life is imbitter’d a thousand Ways; all have their own Troubles, all feel their different Sufferings; some indeed taste so little of the Sweets of Life, or have them so strongly impregnated with Sorrows, that they are scarce sensible of their Relish: Fortitude alone then is the Remedy for these Evils; and therefore should be the Object of every one’s Study. With this Weapon we are enabled to face every Danger, to encounter every Trouble, and to struggle with every Difficulty: it is the Instrument Providence has kindly put into our Hands; and not to use it, is the highest Ingratitude, at the same time that it is beingignorant of our own Happiness. Parents then cannot justify the Neglect of this Virtue to their Children: and it is from this Knowledge of Life, that I have already proposed, in Compassion and Regard to their future Happiness, that they familiarize them, with all the Tenderness of good Parents, to little Disappointments while young; that they may be arm’d to bear greater as they ought. All irregular Desires we should disclaim from our Hearts; but even with regard to those which are in their Nature innocent, lawful, and reasonable, how often are we disappointed! How then will Children, as they advance, struggle with Disappointments, if Strangers to the proper Guide, if unacquainted with Fortitude?
But here I must observe, that many things are looked upon as grievous Evils, which, if considered in a proper Light, are no Evils at all: and to what is this owing? certainly to the erroneous Measures taken at setting out. The Eagerness of Children after every new Trifle, the Desire of engaging in whatever is called Pleasure, and the early Passion for Dress and Show, make them earnest to have their Humour comply’d with. Now as many of these things are highly improper, gratifying their Demands must be an Error moreor less; but this is the least Part of the Evil: the Habit of having all they desire increases with their Years; and without considering, whether the Things they seek are necessary or reasonable, they pursue their Desires, and are wretched when disappointed. Hence arise many of the Passions which disturb the Oeconomy of Families, and fill the World with Disorder: Men disappointed in their Business, and cross’d in their Will, burst into Rage, or contract a Fretfulness which makes them unhappy in themselves, and painful to all who see or feel the Effects of it: and Women who have been used in Childhood to conquer their Parents, and in Youth all the World, who have been constantly addressed in the language of Romances, and have been vainly taught to think the Men their Slaves; Women, I say, who are thus educated, are but very ill prepared to meet Disappointments: the first Opposition throws them into Fits, whence follow Vapours, Melancholy and Indolence; the next kindles their Resentment, which agitates the Mind, spoils the Features, by tearing off the natural Softness of the Countenance, and puts the sweetest Temper into a Ferment; and, if a Husband be the Object of it, ’tis great Odds but a short Time creates either an unjust Coldness, or a fixedAversion. Mr.Locke, sensible of the Danger of irregular Indulgence, thus describes the Situation of a fondled Son. “He that hath been used to have his Will in every thing as long as he was in Coats, why should we think it strange that he should desire it, and contend for it still, when he is in Breeches? Indeed, as he grows towards a Man, Age shews his Faults the more; so that there are few Parents then so blind as not to see them, few so insensible as not to feel the ill Effects of their own Indulgence. He had the Will of his Maid before he could speak or go; he had the Mastery of his Parents ever since he could prattle; and why, now he is grown up, is stronger and wiser than he was then, why now of a sudden should he be restrained and curbed? Why must he at seven, fourteen, or twenty Years old, lose the Privilege, which his Parents Indulgence till then so largely allowed him?” From all this it is evident, that the early planting of regular Desires, checking the Growth of vicious ones, and subjecting Passion to Reason, are the great Means to lay the Foundation of Happiness in our Children, and the surest Fence against many Evils they would otherwise be exposed to: but if after all this, Sorrow, Pain, Disappointment,or Poverty be their Lot, let Parents teach them to meet it as they ought; teach them with the firmest Resolution, with unshaken Constancy, to bear up against the rude Attack; and teach them that the only way to lessen the Evils they cannot avoid, is to adhere inseparably to that heroic Virtue Fortitude.
I am now led to speak of Temperance; the calmest Companion of the Heart of Man. Temperance is the Virtue that bridles our irregular Desires; it is nearly ally’d to Prudence, and has a close Connection with Justice; it calms Revenge, and quenches the Fire of unjust Resentment; it checks the Epicure, and stops the riotous Hand of the Bacchanalian; it extinguishes or abates the Flames of Lust, and banishes every lawless Action; it silences the flippant detracting Tongue, and gives in it’s stead a pleasing Moderation of Speech; it shuts the Door against Avarice, and proves experimentally, that Happiness does not consist in the eager Pursuit or Acquisition of Riches, but in a contented Mind; it curbs that strongest of all other Passions, Gaming, and distinguishes justly the Absurdity and Folly of making that a dangerous Trade, which was only designed as a Relaxation and an Amusement:Temperance, in a word, is the Parent of many Virtues; the Parent of Peace, Prosperity, Health and Joy. But while these are Truths acknowledged and received, how comes it that we know so little of the Practice of them? How comes it that in general these are mere Matters of Speculation? Alas! the Spring is tainted in the Source. We are intemperate in our very Cradles; no wonder therefore if we remain so our whole Lives. We are born with irregular Appetites; and which, thro’ Errors in Judgment, or mistaken Fondness, are daily rendered still more so. But let us leave these melancholy Reflections, and consider the Advantages we enjoy, the Privileges we are invested with. Providence, kind Providence, has given us Reason for our Guide; and Reason will conduct us to Temperance.—Nothing can be more strange to all Observation, than the Practice of forsaking Temperance; since every Day’s Experience proves to us, that Intemperance produces the very opposite to what we seek. Suppose when a Child is born, we ask the Parents what it is they wish in that Child; they will answer, Life. But as Life alone, that is, mere Existence, may by Infirmity or other Accidents be very wretched, they will naturally wish for Health and Happiness. Well then, Life,Health, and Happiness, are the general Wishes of Parents for their Children. Now let us see how their Wishes are likely to succeed. Their first Step is usually a shameful Neglect of the Food of Nature, the Breast; the next, a blind Gratification of their Will; the third, an almost total Neglect of their Manners; and a fourth, the cherishing in them every irregular Affection. Where then is the Wonder that Parents are disappointed? Life and Health depend on proper Food and other judicious Management on one part; and if sick, an Obedience to Remedies on the other part; and Happiness essentially depends in the first place on Health; in the next, on the due Government of our Senses, Affections and Passions. See here how Mankind deviate from themselves; how far they depart from their own Principles. But what then is the Remedy? nothing more obvious. Let Parents exercise their Reason in all the Steps they take for their Children’s Welfare; let them examine Right and Wrong; let them not only avoid Passion, but labour to correct their own Errors of Judgment, that they may be the better enabled to prevent them in their Children; but particularly, let them fix in them the Knowledge, Love, and Habit of Temperance.
These Rules will doubtless be an Infringement on those Liberties Parents usually take in indulging their Children’s Stomachs; and it will be a greater in the Restraint it lays on their growing Passions: but they must convince them of the Purity of their Intentions by speaking to their Understandings; not all at once, but by Degrees, as they open and gain Strength; so that Step by Step they may point out to them the Loveliness, the Pleasure, and the Advantages of this uncommon Virtue. I say nothing here of the State of Childhood, because it is already understood that Parents have their Children’s Health regulated by proper Management, and their Minds docile thro’ the Force of Obedience; but when Dress, Pleasure, Company, Feasting, or whatever subjects us to be intemperate, come into Play, as they are Actions which always cause a Struggle, more or less, between Passion and Reason, it demands the greatest Care and Attention of Parents to win them to a Love of Temperance.
An easy Submission to our Lot in Life is one of the greatest Attainments towards Happiness. View a young Lady with a strong Passion for Dress; every new thing strikes her; one Companion has a richer Silk than herself; another has the sweetest Lace sheever saw; a third has Ear-rings ten times handsomer than her own; she burns with Impatience to equal them, and that granted, new things arise, and the others are old tho’ not worn out; that is, her Relish for them is lost. Thus a continual round of Fashions keep her incessantly anxious; and tho’ perhaps she possesses every thing, she enjoys nothing. Not so the calmer well-instructed Fair; she considers that Propriety of Dress is what suits her Station; and covets not another’s Jewels: she wears, without a Blush, a meaner Silk than her meaner Companion; and free from the Extremes of Negligence or Pride, she is qualify’d for all the Dignity that Dress can give her; but is equally happy in an inferior Appearance. Thus too it happens with our Sons: One is in the continual Pursuit of Pleasure, has a thousand Contrivances to reach a Play, a Ball, or a Horse-race; and is miserable if these things are going on without him: while another, awaken’d by Reason, and check’d by Temperance, takes these things as they come; and neither insipidly refuses the Chearfulness of an Entertainment, nor is disturb’d of his Rest, or loses either his Temper or his Appetite, if he is disappointed. Such is the Difference between Passion and Reason, such the genuine Effects of Temperance.
Temperance, as I observ’d before, is closely connected with Justice; that is, whatever thro’ Intemperance affects our Health, or endangers our Lives, must be unjust. What can be more amazing than the false Judgment of Mankind even in the most obvious things! All allow that we have no Right voluntarily to throw away that Life which Providence has given us; on the contrary, we are bound to support it, even under the Pressure of Pain and Sorrow, to the last Moment. How comes it then that while this is acknowledged, while Men justly shrink with Horror at the very Thought of Self-murder, they have the Hardiness to dally with some murderous Instrument? All the Arguments that are brought against Suicide, whether by Sword, Pistol, Laudanum, or Arsenic, hold good, in some Degree, in the Point before us. The oftener a Building is shock’d, the sooner will it decay; the more Violence is us’d to a delicate Machine, the sooner will it be destroy’d; and no Machine is so exquisitely delicate as Man. Now as every Species of Excess, Riot, and Debauchery, is a Shock given to our Frame, it must naturally impair our Health, and consequently shorten our Lives. Many things tend to effect this, that Men in general are Strangers to; butthere are others they are too sensible of, yet attempt not to remove, nay plunge themselves into. Here then appears the Necessity of Temperance; here we see the great Obligation of Parents to their Children in this Point: since they are not only accountable for their Happiness, but even for their Health and Lives. To conclude, let Parents in inculcating this Virtue dissuade their Children from every irregular Attachment, and convince them that no intemperate Affections are justifiable; that besides avoiding those irregular Passions which may be said to reside in the Soul, there are others that dwell on the Senses, equally capable of destroying us; particularly an unhappy Attachment to sleeping, eating, drinking, and many other things in their Nature not only innocent but indispensably necessary; yet, by the frequent grievous Abuse of them, made the Instruments of our Destruction.
These are the things I had to offer on the Part of Manners; these are the Steps I have already in great measure taken with my own Children, and these the Sentiments I wish to inspire them with. If therefore, as general Laws, they are equally applicable to others, my presenting them in Print will, I hope, be consider’d with the same Candourthey are offered. But notwithstanding what has already been said, Parents have still much to do. To keep up the Spirit of Government, they must constantly remember that Nature and Reason are to be their Guides: if we distort Nature, our Children will be preposterous Figures; and if we banish Reason, they will be Brutes or Monsters. Parents must remember too, that it is not for themselves that they labour to train up their Children in Order, Obedience, and Knowledge; there must be no self-pointed Views, no Pride, no Dispositions to tyrannise over their own Flesh and Blood; these are Motives unworthy a Place in any Parent’s Breast. Their principal Aim must be to make their Children happy, by making them wise and good; and if they succeed herein, so much Happiness will be reflected back on themselves as will amply reward all their Labours. But they must not stop even here; tho’ this Design is noble, they should have a nobler yet in view; that is, the universal Good of Mankind: ’tis too narrow a Good that seeks itself alone; Children must therefore be animated by their Parents with all those Virtues that will make them dear and valuable to Society. Now what Chance is there that Children will come on the Stage of Life with the necessary Requisites, unlessdue Pains are taken to mould and temper their Hearts, to form their Minds, and cultivate their Understandings? Mr.Pope, after labouring to prove for what End we are in being, what Good we are to pursue, and what Evil avoid, concludes, “that all our Knowledge is ourselves to know.” If then this Self-knowledge is of such vast Importance for the securing our Happiness even in a moral Sense, and is so very difficult to be attained; surely Parents are under the highest Obligation to their Children of improving every Means within their Reach, for the gaining this only true Philosopher’s Stone. The End, as Philosophers agree, is the first thing in the Intention; but the Means to attain that End are surely, in the Case before us, either but little known, or little practised; else we should not see such daily and grievous Mistakes committed in the training up our little Offspring; nor such a continued Chain of Vice, Folly, and Ignorance, as is the general Result of this mistaken Manners, this want of Self-knowledge.
But here I must caution my Readers not to bewilder themselves in a Maze of fancied Difficulties; not to throw aside these Instructions as useful or practicable to none butthose of Genius, Learning, and great Abilities: the Light of Nature and Reason beams strongly on us all; and Parents, as I have before observed, have it greatly in their Power to regulate their Children’s Conduct: for after all, it must be confessed, that it is not so much that Parents do not know, as that they want the Will, to act rightly. But I hope, that such as are really ignorant, will here, in some measure, be informed; such as already know, will here be induced to practise: since by avoiding the Errors too generally run into, so much solid Good will ensue. But, to return back again: where or how are we to begin? Why—(as has already been advanc’d) by Authority. Authority is undoubtedly the first Means towards attaining this great End; the other Means are, a steady Attention to the various Tempers of our Children; a strict Guard over our own Conduct; a watchful Eye on theirs; joined to a serious Practice of every Lesson for their Improvement: to which we are to add, such an Education as is suitable to our Sphere in Life.