The Project Gutenberg eBook ofAnimal Analogues: Verses and IllustrationsThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: Animal Analogues: Verses and IllustrationsAuthor: Robert Williams WoodRelease date: June 22, 2013 [eBook #43013]Most recently updated: October 23, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANIMAL ANALOGUES: VERSES AND ILLUSTRATIONS ***
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
Title: Animal Analogues: Verses and IllustrationsAuthor: Robert Williams WoodRelease date: June 22, 2013 [eBook #43013]Most recently updated: October 23, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)
Title: Animal Analogues: Verses and Illustrations
Author: Robert Williams Wood
Author: Robert Williams Wood
Release date: June 22, 2013 [eBook #43013]Most recently updated: October 23, 2024
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANIMAL ANALOGUES: VERSES AND ILLUSTRATIONS ***
Verses and IllustrationsBy Robert Williams Wood.Author of "How To Tell The Birds From the Flowers."
Published by Paul Elder and Company.San Francisco and New York.
Copyright 1908ByPaul Elder and Company.
Copyright 1908ByPaul Elder and Company.
Good Mr. Darwin once contendedThat Beetles were from Bees descended;And as my pictures show, I think,The Beet must be the missing-link.The Sugar-Beet and Honey-BeeSupply the Beetle's pedigree:The family is now complete,—The Bee, the Beetle and the Beet.
Good Mr. Darwin once contendedThat Beetles were from Bees descended;And as my pictures show, I think,The Beet must be the missing-link.The Sugar-Beet and Honey-BeeSupply the Beetle's pedigree:The family is now complete,—The Bee, the Beetle and the Beet.
Good Mr. Darwin once contended
That Beetles were from Bees descended;
And as my pictures show, I think,
The Beet must be the missing-link.
The Sugar-Beet and Honey-Bee
Supply the Beetle's pedigree:
The family is now complete,—
The Bee, the Beetle and the Beet.
The Ant is known by his ant-ennae,Where-as the pheas-ant hasn't any,And that is why he wears, instead,A small red cap upon his head:Without his Fez, indeed the pheasantWould be quite bald and quite un-Pleasant.
The Ant is known by his ant-ennae,Where-as the pheas-ant hasn't any,And that is why he wears, instead,A small red cap upon his head:Without his Fez, indeed the pheasantWould be quite bald and quite un-Pleasant.
The Ant is known by his ant-ennae,
Where-as the pheas-ant hasn't any,
And that is why he wears, instead,
A small red cap upon his head:
Without his Fez, indeed the pheasant
Would be quite bald and quite un-Pleasant.
The superficial naturalists have often been misled,By failing to dis-crim-inate between the tail and head:It really is unfortunate such carelessness prevails,Because the Bunnies have their heads where Tunnies have their tails.
The superficial naturalists have often been misled,By failing to dis-crim-inate between the tail and head:It really is unfortunate such carelessness prevails,Because the Bunnies have their heads where Tunnies have their tails.
The superficial naturalists have often been misled,
By failing to dis-crim-inate between the tail and head:
It really is unfortunate such carelessness prevails,
Because the Bunnies have their heads where Tunnies have their tails.
The marked aversion which we feel,When in the presence of the Eel,Makes many view with consternation,The Elephant's front ele-vation.Such folly must be clearly dueTo their peculiar point of view.
The marked aversion which we feel,When in the presence of the Eel,Makes many view with consternation,The Elephant's front ele-vation.Such folly must be clearly dueTo their peculiar point of view.
The marked aversion which we feel,
When in the presence of the Eel,
Makes many view with consternation,
The Elephant's front ele-vation.
Such folly must be clearly due
To their peculiar point of view.
The Octo-pus or Cuttle-fish!I'm sure that none of us would wishTo have him scuttle 'round the house,Like puss, when she espies a mouse:When you secure your house-hold pet,Be very sure you do not getThe Octo-pus, or there may beDom-es-tic in-felis-ity.
The Octo-pus or Cuttle-fish!I'm sure that none of us would wishTo have him scuttle 'round the house,Like puss, when she espies a mouse:When you secure your house-hold pet,Be very sure you do not getThe Octo-pus, or there may beDom-es-tic in-felis-ity.
The Octo-pus or Cuttle-fish!
I'm sure that none of us would wish
To have him scuttle 'round the house,
Like puss, when she espies a mouse:
When you secure your house-hold pet,
Be very sure you do not get
The Octo-pus, or there may be
Dom-es-tic in-felis-ity.
The Gnu conspicuously wearsHis coat of gnumerous bristling hairs,While, as we see, the modest NewtOf such a coat is destitute.(I'm only telling this to you,And it is strictly "entre gnu".)In point of fact the Newt is nude,And therefore he does not obtrude,But hides in some secluded gnook,Beneath the surface of the brook:It's almost more than he can bear,To slyly take his breath of air,His need of which is absolute,Because, you see, he is a Pneu-t.*
The Gnu conspicuously wearsHis coat of gnumerous bristling hairs,While, as we see, the modest NewtOf such a coat is destitute.(I'm only telling this to you,And it is strictly "entre gnu".)In point of fact the Newt is nude,And therefore he does not obtrude,But hides in some secluded gnook,Beneath the surface of the brook:It's almost more than he can bear,To slyly take his breath of air,His need of which is absolute,Because, you see, he is a Pneu-t.*
The Gnu conspicuously wears
His coat of gnumerous bristling hairs,
While, as we see, the modest Newt
Of such a coat is destitute.
(I'm only telling this to you,
And it is strictly "entre gnu".)
In point of fact the Newt is nude,
And therefore he does not obtrude,
But hides in some secluded gnook,
Beneath the surface of the brook:
It's almost more than he can bear,
To slyly take his breath of air,
His need of which is absolute,
Because, you see, he is a Pneu-t.*
*This stands for air, like aero-static,Greek—"pneumos"—air—comp-air "pneu-matic".
*This stands for air, like aero-static,Greek—"pneumos"—air—comp-air "pneu-matic".
*This stands for air, like aero-static,
Greek—"pneumos"—air—comp-air "pneu-matic".
The Harrier, harassed by the Hare,Presents a picture of despair;Altho' as far as I'm concerned,I love to see the tables turned.The Harrier flies with all his might,It is a harum-scare'm flight:I'm not surprised he does not careTo meet the fierce pursuing Hare!
The Harrier, harassed by the Hare,Presents a picture of despair;Altho' as far as I'm concerned,I love to see the tables turned.The Harrier flies with all his might,It is a harum-scare'm flight:I'm not surprised he does not careTo meet the fierce pursuing Hare!
The Harrier, harassed by the Hare,
Presents a picture of despair;
Altho' as far as I'm concerned,
I love to see the tables turned.
The Harrier flies with all his might,
It is a harum-scare'm flight:
I'm not surprised he does not care
To meet the fierce pursuing Hare!
To smoke a herring is to makeA most lamentable mistake,Particularly since there areThe Pipe-fish and the long Sea-gar:Bear this in mind when next you wishTo smoke your after-dinner fish.
To smoke a herring is to makeA most lamentable mistake,Particularly since there areThe Pipe-fish and the long Sea-gar:Bear this in mind when next you wishTo smoke your after-dinner fish.
To smoke a herring is to make
A most lamentable mistake,
Particularly since there are
The Pipe-fish and the long Sea-gar:
Bear this in mind when next you wish
To smoke your after-dinner fish.
The Cowry seems to be, somehow,A sort of mouth-piece for the Cow:A speaking likeness one might say,Which I've endeavored to portray.
The Cowry seems to be, somehow,A sort of mouth-piece for the Cow:A speaking likeness one might say,Which I've endeavored to portray.
The Cowry seems to be, somehow,
A sort of mouth-piece for the Cow:
A speaking likeness one might say,
Which I've endeavored to portray.
The Doe and her peculiardoubleNo longer are a source of trouble,Because the Dodo, it appears,Has been extinct for many years.She was too proud to disembarkWith total strangers in Noah's Ark,And we rejoice because her prideOur Nature book has simplified.
The Doe and her peculiardoubleNo longer are a source of trouble,Because the Dodo, it appears,Has been extinct for many years.She was too proud to disembarkWith total strangers in Noah's Ark,And we rejoice because her prideOur Nature book has simplified.
The Doe and her peculiardouble
No longer are a source of trouble,
Because the Dodo, it appears,
Has been extinct for many years.
She was too proud to disembark
With total strangers in Noah's Ark,
And we rejoice because her pride
Our Nature book has simplified.
The Raven is a kind of crow,Immortalized by Mr. Poe,And we are often led astrayBy its resemblance to the Ray;The one which I denominate,Is termed by fisher-men the Skate;I much prefer the latter phrase,There are so many kinds of Rays:There're Rays of hope, and Rays of light.X Rays, and Rays morere-con-dite,Which, though of interest to Science,With Ravens have but small alliance.
The Raven is a kind of crow,Immortalized by Mr. Poe,And we are often led astrayBy its resemblance to the Ray;The one which I denominate,Is termed by fisher-men the Skate;I much prefer the latter phrase,There are so many kinds of Rays:There're Rays of hope, and Rays of light.X Rays, and Rays morere-con-dite,Which, though of interest to Science,With Ravens have but small alliance.
The Raven is a kind of crow,
Immortalized by Mr. Poe,
And we are often led astray
By its resemblance to the Ray;
The one which I denominate,
Is termed by fisher-men the Skate;
I much prefer the latter phrase,
There are so many kinds of Rays:
There're Rays of hope, and Rays of light.
X Rays, and Rays morere-con-dite,
Which, though of interest to Science,
With Ravens have but small alliance.
I do not wish to at-tri-buteImportance to the common Coot,Or mud-hen, whom most persons scorn,Because she chanced to be "Earth-born".The small Australian BandicootsAre said to spring from Kanga-roots,Which roots, as you of course foresee,Are those of their ancestral tree,The motto of which vegetableIs just "O possum"*(I am able).
I do not wish to at-tri-buteImportance to the common Coot,Or mud-hen, whom most persons scorn,Because she chanced to be "Earth-born".The small Australian BandicootsAre said to spring from Kanga-roots,Which roots, as you of course foresee,Are those of their ancestral tree,The motto of which vegetableIs just "O possum"*(I am able).
I do not wish to at-tri-bute
Importance to the common Coot,
Or mud-hen, whom most persons scorn,
Because she chanced to be "Earth-born".
The small Australian Bandicoots
Are said to spring from Kanga-roots,
Which roots, as you of course foresee,
Are those of their ancestral tree,
The motto of which vegetable
Is just "O possum"*(I am able).
*The Bandicoot and Kangaroo,As well as the Opossum too,Are relatives because all threeBelong to the same family.
*The Bandicoot and Kangaroo,As well as the Opossum too,Are relatives because all threeBelong to the same family.
*The Bandicoot and Kangaroo,
As well as the Opossum too,
Are relatives because all three
Belong to the same family.
To see her shapeInvert the ape!
To see her shapeInvert the ape!
The Apes, from whom we are descended,Hang ape-x down from trees suspended,And since we find them in the trees,We term them arbor-iginees.We all have seen the monkey-shines,Cut up by those who pluck from vinesThe Grape and then subject its juicesTo Baccha-nalian abuses.
The Apes, from whom we are descended,Hang ape-x down from trees suspended,And since we find them in the trees,We term them arbor-iginees.We all have seen the monkey-shines,Cut up by those who pluck from vinesThe Grape and then subject its juicesTo Baccha-nalian abuses.
The Apes, from whom we are descended,
Hang ape-x down from trees suspended,
And since we find them in the trees,
We term them arbor-iginees.
We all have seen the monkey-shines,
Cut up by those who pluck from vines
The Grape and then subject its juices
To Baccha-nalian abuses.
A roar of welkome through the welkinIs certain proof you'll find the Elk "in";But if you listen to the shell,In which the Whelk is said to dwell,And hear a roar, beyond a doubtIt indicates the Whelk is "out".
A roar of welkome through the welkinIs certain proof you'll find the Elk "in";But if you listen to the shell,In which the Whelk is said to dwell,And hear a roar, beyond a doubtIt indicates the Whelk is "out".
A roar of welkome through the welkin
Is certain proof you'll find the Elk "in";
But if you listen to the shell,
In which the Whelk is said to dwell,
And hear a roar, beyond a doubt
It indicates the Whelk is "out".
No-body but an imbecileMistakes Sweet William for Cross Bill;And even I can scarcely claimThe skill to make them look the same,Which proves there's nothing in a name.
No-body but an imbecileMistakes Sweet William for Cross Bill;And even I can scarcely claimThe skill to make them look the same,Which proves there's nothing in a name.
No-body but an imbecile
Mistakes Sweet William for Cross Bill;
And even I can scarcely claim
The skill to make them look the same,
Which proves there's nothing in a name.
The Pitcher Plant we may define,The flower of the base-ball nine;This name perhaps the plant belies,For Pitcher Plants sometimes catch flies;The "Fly"-Catcher we educateTo firmly stand behind the plate,To stop, and treat with circumspection,Whatever comes in his direction.
The Pitcher Plant we may define,The flower of the base-ball nine;This name perhaps the plant belies,For Pitcher Plants sometimes catch flies;The "Fly"-Catcher we educateTo firmly stand behind the plate,To stop, and treat with circumspection,Whatever comes in his direction.
The Pitcher Plant we may define,
The flower of the base-ball nine;
This name perhaps the plant belies,
For Pitcher Plants sometimes catch flies;
The "Fly"-Catcher we educate
To firmly stand behind the plate,
To stop, and treat with circumspection,
Whatever comes in his direction.
The Antelope and CantelopeLie side by side upon the slope,And careless persons might, I fear,Mistake the melon for the deer.If you will tap the Cantelope, reposing on the ground,It does not move, but just emits a melon-choly sound;But should you try, however, to apply a stethoscope,And attempt this auscultation on the antlered Antelope,And should see an imitation of a very rapid flight,And should say, "It is the Antelope!" I think you would be right.
The Antelope and CantelopeLie side by side upon the slope,And careless persons might, I fear,Mistake the melon for the deer.If you will tap the Cantelope, reposing on the ground,It does not move, but just emits a melon-choly sound;But should you try, however, to apply a stethoscope,And attempt this auscultation on the antlered Antelope,And should see an imitation of a very rapid flight,And should say, "It is the Antelope!" I think you would be right.
The Antelope and Cantelope
Lie side by side upon the slope,
And careless persons might, I fear,
Mistake the melon for the deer.
If you will tap the Cantelope, reposing on the ground,
It does not move, but just emits a melon-choly sound;
But should you try, however, to apply a stethoscope,
And attempt this auscultation on the antlered Antelope,
And should see an imitation of a very rapid flight,
And should say, "It is the Antelope!" I think you would be right.
The striking similarity of this P-Q-liar pair,No longer need en-cumber us or fill us with despair;The P-Cock and the Q-Cumber you never need confuse.If you pay attention to the I'sand mind your P's and Q's.
The striking similarity of this P-Q-liar pair,No longer need en-cumber us or fill us with despair;The P-Cock and the Q-Cumber you never need confuse.If you pay attention to the I'sand mind your P's and Q's.
The striking similarity of this P-Q-liar pair,
No longer need en-cumber us or fill us with despair;
The P-Cock and the Q-Cumber you never need confuse.
If you pay attention to the I'sand mind your P's and Q's.
We have for many years been boredBy that old saw about the swordAnd pen, and now we all rejoice,To see how Nature made her choice:She made, regardless of offendin',The Sword-fish mightier than the Penguin.
We have for many years been boredBy that old saw about the swordAnd pen, and now we all rejoice,To see how Nature made her choice:She made, regardless of offendin',The Sword-fish mightier than the Penguin.
We have for many years been bored
By that old saw about the sword
And pen, and now we all rejoice,
To see how Nature made her choice:
She made, regardless of offendin',
The Sword-fish mightier than the Penguin.
The Yellow-Hammer, or the Flicker,More briefly "Golden-winged Wood-picker",My drawing of whichstrikingbirdMay seem to you perhaps absurd,You even may suspect I stoleThe idea from some Totem-pole:But when you gaze upon the Fish,You lose all patience and say "Pish!I don't believe you ever sawA Saw-fish look like this, Oh Pshaw!There certainly is some mistake,This is a saw-did Nature fake,In fact a perfect cata-clysmOf fishy Yellow-journalism."
The Yellow-Hammer, or the Flicker,More briefly "Golden-winged Wood-picker",My drawing of whichstrikingbirdMay seem to you perhaps absurd,You even may suspect I stoleThe idea from some Totem-pole:But when you gaze upon the Fish,You lose all patience and say "Pish!I don't believe you ever sawA Saw-fish look like this, Oh Pshaw!There certainly is some mistake,This is a saw-did Nature fake,In fact a perfect cata-clysmOf fishy Yellow-journalism."
The Yellow-Hammer, or the Flicker,
More briefly "Golden-winged Wood-picker",
My drawing of whichstrikingbird
May seem to you perhaps absurd,
You even may suspect I stole
The idea from some Totem-pole:
But when you gaze upon the Fish,
You lose all patience and say "Pish!
I don't believe you ever saw
A Saw-fish look like this, Oh Pshaw!
There certainly is some mistake,
This is a saw-did Nature fake,
In fact a perfect cata-clysm
Of fishy Yellow-journalism."
Observe how Nature's necromanciesHave clearly painted on the PansiesThese almost human counte-nances,In yellow, blue and black nu-ances.The face, however, seems to meTo be that of the Chimpanzee,A fact which makes the gentle PansyAppeal no longer to my fancy.
Observe how Nature's necromanciesHave clearly painted on the PansiesThese almost human counte-nances,In yellow, blue and black nu-ances.The face, however, seems to meTo be that of the Chimpanzee,A fact which makes the gentle PansyAppeal no longer to my fancy.
Observe how Nature's necromancies
Have clearly painted on the Pansies
These almost human counte-nances,
In yellow, blue and black nu-ances.
The face, however, seems to me
To be that of the Chimpanzee,
A fact which makes the gentle Pansy
Appeal no longer to my fancy.
The Argonaut or Nautilus,With habits quite adventurous,A combination of a snail,A jelly-fish and paper sail.The parts of him that did not jellAre packed securely in his shell.It is not strange that when I soughtTo find his double, I found naught.
The Argonaut or Nautilus,With habits quite adventurous,A combination of a snail,A jelly-fish and paper sail.The parts of him that did not jellAre packed securely in his shell.It is not strange that when I soughtTo find his double, I found naught.
The Argonaut or Nautilus,
With habits quite adventurous,
A combination of a snail,
A jelly-fish and paper sail.
The parts of him that did not jell
Are packed securely in his shell.
It is not strange that when I sought
To find his double, I found naught.
If you have read my former words,And learned to recognize the Birds,And how to tell them from Flowers,And know these Analogues of ours,You never need be led astrayBy Darwin, Audubon, or Gray,Whose writings, though considered classic,Savor some-what of the Jurassic.Your work though is but just begun,While mine, I'm glad to say, is done.To you the field I now leave clear,Upset my ink, and disappear!
If you have read my former words,And learned to recognize the Birds,And how to tell them from Flowers,And know these Analogues of ours,You never need be led astrayBy Darwin, Audubon, or Gray,Whose writings, though considered classic,Savor some-what of the Jurassic.Your work though is but just begun,While mine, I'm glad to say, is done.To you the field I now leave clear,Upset my ink, and disappear!
If you have read my former words,
And learned to recognize the Birds,
And how to tell them from Flowers,
And know these Analogues of ours,
You never need be led astray
By Darwin, Audubon, or Gray,
Whose writings, though considered classic,
Savor some-what of the Jurassic.
Your work though is but just begun,
While mine, I'm glad to say, is done.
To you the field I now leave clear,
Upset my ink, and disappear!