CHAPTER IV.

A party of English Gentlemen at Dinner—their Patriotism.—Character of John Bull in America.—The Englishman’s Speech.—The American Answer.—Modesty of British Commercial Agents in the United States.—Anecdote characteristic of the Second Society.

“Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter! Am I politic? Am I subtile? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson? My priest? My Sir Hugh? No; he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs.”

Merry Wives of Windsor, Act iii. Scene 1.

To-day I dined with an English gentleman, who had been settled a great number of years in the country, and was married to an American lady of very good family.

The company was composed principally of merchants and manufacturers, with an admixture of a few travelling; agents of British commercial houses, whom it was not difficult to recognise as the lions of the party. They were not, properly speaking, members of the first society, because foreigners who are once married andsettled in the country seldom belong to it, unless they are immensely rich; but they thought themselves nevertheless considerably above the second, not one of them having accepted an invitation to the latter for the last six months,—preferring infinitely no society at all to the degradation of mixing with inferior persons. Besides, one of them, having of late moved into “a more respectable neighbourhood,” was preparing to entertain his new fashionable acquaintance with a large, sumptuous party, which he hoped would at once open to his sons and daughters—“the old man and woman” are not so easily promoted—the road to the highest circles.

Dinner, which was one of the plainest I ever made in the United States, was served in the usual manner; only that the gentleman of the house piqued himself on having everything cooked in the true English fashion. I believe he had a beef-steak brought upon the table for the sole purpose of showing the difference between the English and American ways of dressing it. “This is an English steak,” said he; “at least you do not see it besmeared with rancid butter, and N.B. cooked with Liverpool coal.” Theroast beefwas recommended in the same manner, as being “roasted in the true English style;”and the same was said of the parboiled vegetables, and at last of the fire-proof pudding.

“I hope,” said one of the gentlemen, who was an American at the head of a large manufacturing establishment, “none of our friends is troubled with dyspepsia.”

“I like the English kitchen better than any other,” replied our entertainer, “whatever preference my friends may give to the French or Italian.”

“At any rate it is preferable to the American,” observed another Englishman.

“And if not that, we at least know how to eat,” remarked another.

“That,” said our host, “no one will deny. The custom of eating against time exists only in America.”

“Why,” observed the manufacturer peevishly, “I have seen many an Englishman, sitting down at our public tables, play as good a knife and fork, and as quickly too, as one of our ‘natives.’”

“That was done in self-defence,” cried the Englishman, “if it was done at all.”

“If the custom of dining attables d’hôteexisted in England,” rejoined the manufacturer, “your people would soon learnspeedandingenuityin eating.”

“I hope, sir, such a custom will never be introduced.”

“And then you forget that at a public table in America you frequently meet with people who, in England, would be content to make their dinner at a beef-shop.”

“I often suspected something of the kind.”

“Why, sir, this is a republican country; we have nopublicdistinction of classes.”

“So much the worse for you.”

“But is it not very strange,” observed the manufacturer, somewhat angrily, “that you Englishmen, who come here for no other purpose in the world but to make money, who ‘underwork and undersell’ us wherever you can, should be constantly railing against this country? I have seen Scotchmen, Irishmen, Frenchmen, and Germans who were all satisfied to live amongst us and acquire property; but I do not remember a single Englishman that was not constantly talking of the superiority of England over America. The English are the only foreigners that never becomebonâ fidecitizens. They always have a leaning towards their own country, however they may have forsworn their sovereign, and pledged fidelity and allegiance to the United States.”

“I consider all you have said as highly in our favour,” said our host.

“But I do not,” remarked the manufacturer. “I consider it downright perjury to come and settle amongst us,—to apply for the privileges of citizenship,—to go through the requisite formalities,—to pledge an oath of allegiance to the country,—to renounce publicly one’s former sovereign,—to exercise all the rights of native Americans conferred by these acts,—and then, after all, to remain a foreigner at heart, and to abuse this country whenever an opportunity presents itself of doing so with impunity. If you dislike this country so much, why do you stay in it?”

“Because I cannot do better,” replied the Englishman.

“That’s an old, but nevertheless a good one,” remarked one of the company.

“Oh!” exclaimed the manufacturer, “we knowyourprinciples well enough. Your John-Bullism is past redemption.’”

“I trust it is,” said the gentleman, colouring to his ears. “Nothing, God willing, shall transform me into a Yankee!”

“But you are married in this country; you have children born in America;—what countrymenshalltheybe? They cannot be called Englishmen, I am sure.”

“I am sorry for it; but that is not my fault. I will, at least, give them anEnglish education.”

“Pray, are you a naturalized citizen?”

“I have never perjured myself,” replied the sturdy representative of John Bull.

“But did I not see you the other day at the polls?”

“I did not vote, I merely distributed tickets.”

“What a nice distinction this is; you did not vote, you merely electioneered!”

“That was done from principle.”

“What principle can that be? What interest can you take in our politics without being a citizen?”

“I have no interest at all in it. I merely do my duty by exerting myself to the utmost of my power to insure the election of the worst candidates, in order that you may the sooner be cured of your republican notions.”

“If this is really your object, you ought to have been lynched long ago.”

“I tell this merely to my friends.”

“Pray, do not quarrel with him,” interrupted one of the guests, addressing himself to the manufacturer;“our friend has always exerted himself onyour sideof the question.”

“That is a fact,” observed another. “Though you start from apparently very different premises, and appear to have very different motives, there is really no great difference between you in the end; so I think you had better shake hands, and drink toEngland and the United States!”

“England and the United States!” echoed the company.

“England and the United States!” repeated our host; “and may the latter never forgetwhat they oweto the former!”

“John Bull to the back-bone!” cried the manufacturer. “All in his own house too!”

“But is it true,” demanded another Englishman, who, I was told, was an ironmonger, “thatMr.*** is not yet naturalized?”

“I am,” said he, “to all intents and purposes aBritish subject.”

“That’s no answer to my question,” replied the ironmonger; “a man may be a British subject, and still for all purposes inthiscountry a naturalized American. I am a citizen ofbothcountries. I hold real estate in Nova Scotia and in the United States.”

“Then you do not hold it according to law.”

“Pshaw!” ejaculated the ironmonger, “who cares for that? Millions of acres of land in this country belong to foreigners.”

“But you cannot be abonâ fideholder of real estate in the United States without being a citizen, and you cannot become a citizen without renouncing all allegiance to foreign countries. You must have perjured yourself with regard to England or America.”

“Poh! poh! Talk of perjury in such matters! It’s a sort of custom-house oath which binds a person no farther than his word. I would not be such a fool as to give up my rights as a British subject. Times may change;—would you have me put all my eggs into one basket?”

“A nice creed this!” cried the manufacturer; “and such are the men that govern our elections! And you vote just like the rest of us?”

“And why should I not?”

“Pray, don’t quarrel,” said the same mediator that had before reconciled the manufacturer with our host; “he, too, votes onyourside. Why do you scrutinize his motives if hisactscoincide with your own?England and the United States!I say,—their interests are one and the same; may they never be divided by party spirit!”

This toast was drunk with all the honours;after which the gentleman of the house rose, and made, as far as I can recollect, the followingspeech:—

“Gentlemen,“I am glad to see that you are by degrees coming to your senses. You cannot but agree with me, that it is the best policy of the United States to cultivate the friendship of Great Britain. It is, I am sure, the wisest thing you can do, after having been so foolish as to separate from us. As forus, we do not care three straws for that separation; we can getalongwithout you.”“That’s an Americanism,” remarked one of the company: “he is a stickler for Old England, and talks of goingalong!”“I plead guilty to the charge,” replied the host. “The fact is, I have been so long in the United States that I have almost forgotten the English language.”“Go on, sir! Go on!” cried the company; “never mind the language.”“Well, gentlemen, I said we did not care three straws for that separation; neither do we, for our annual commercial balances against you are now greater than they ever were before the revolution. I only wish we could get rid of Canada in thesame way. As for yourindependence, it’s all my eye and Betty Martin, as the saying goes, as long as you borrow money, and we are the ones that lend it you. A man in debt has lost his freedom, and the same holds of a nation.“As regards the good understanding which exists between England and the United States, it is based, I am sure, on the most rational basis: the creditor likes to see his debtor prosper, in order that he may have a chance of being paid; and the debtor does not wish to break with his creditor, in order that the latter may not be too hard upon him, and, perhaps, trust him again. This, I believe, is all the sympathy which exists between the two countries at present; the antagonistical principles of their respective governments admitting of none other. With regard to myself, gentlemen, I can only say that, as the partner of an English house, I have always found the Americans an honest, clever, enterprising people; a little too enterprising by the by, especially with regard to manufactures” (here he cast a side glance at the representative of ‘the American system’); “but, as this has donethemmore harm thanus, I am not disposed to quarrel with them. The Americans are, no doubt, our best customers; for which reason we like to see them in Liverpool, Manchester,Leeds, &c. in precisely the same manner as we Englishmen meet with more civility in Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Baltimore, than in any other part of the Union. This is all natural enough; and, in proportion astradeincreases, ourfriendshipmust increase with it: and as I, for one, am really disposed to promote the latter as far as lies inmypower, I will give you ‘The trade between England and America!’”

“Gentlemen,

“I am glad to see that you are by degrees coming to your senses. You cannot but agree with me, that it is the best policy of the United States to cultivate the friendship of Great Britain. It is, I am sure, the wisest thing you can do, after having been so foolish as to separate from us. As forus, we do not care three straws for that separation; we can getalongwithout you.”

“That’s an Americanism,” remarked one of the company: “he is a stickler for Old England, and talks of goingalong!”

“I plead guilty to the charge,” replied the host. “The fact is, I have been so long in the United States that I have almost forgotten the English language.”

“Go on, sir! Go on!” cried the company; “never mind the language.”

“Well, gentlemen, I said we did not care three straws for that separation; neither do we, for our annual commercial balances against you are now greater than they ever were before the revolution. I only wish we could get rid of Canada in thesame way. As for yourindependence, it’s all my eye and Betty Martin, as the saying goes, as long as you borrow money, and we are the ones that lend it you. A man in debt has lost his freedom, and the same holds of a nation.

“As regards the good understanding which exists between England and the United States, it is based, I am sure, on the most rational basis: the creditor likes to see his debtor prosper, in order that he may have a chance of being paid; and the debtor does not wish to break with his creditor, in order that the latter may not be too hard upon him, and, perhaps, trust him again. This, I believe, is all the sympathy which exists between the two countries at present; the antagonistical principles of their respective governments admitting of none other. With regard to myself, gentlemen, I can only say that, as the partner of an English house, I have always found the Americans an honest, clever, enterprising people; a little too enterprising by the by, especially with regard to manufactures” (here he cast a side glance at the representative of ‘the American system’); “but, as this has donethemmore harm thanus, I am not disposed to quarrel with them. The Americans are, no doubt, our best customers; for which reason we like to see them in Liverpool, Manchester,Leeds, &c. in precisely the same manner as we Englishmen meet with more civility in Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Baltimore, than in any other part of the Union. This is all natural enough; and, in proportion astradeincreases, ourfriendshipmust increase with it: and as I, for one, am really disposed to promote the latter as far as lies inmypower, I will give you ‘The trade between England and America!’”

The trade between England and America was then drunk in a bumper; when, after sundry coughs and expectorations, the manufacturer rose and delivered himself in these terms:—

“Gentlemen,“I am a manufacturer,—I presume you all know what that means; and I amproudto be one.” (To the host.) “I think, sir, that without manufactures this country would be entirely dependent on Great Britain. Our manufactures, sir, make us independent; without manufactures we should still be the slaves of the old country.” (“Oh, oh!” and cries of “Go on, go on!”) “But, sir, I will go further; I will come to the point; I will go beyond it! What, sir, would become of this country without manufactures in case of a war with England?”—(Several gentlemen, “We don’t wantwar; we want peace.”)—“Gentlemen, if you interrupt me, I will sit down.”(“No, no! go on! Let us have it in true style.”)“Well, gentlemen, I have asked the gentleman what would become of us without manufactures in case of a war? Here is a question! will you answer me that? Can you deny that our manufactures are destined at some future day not only to compete with those of England, but tobeatthem? And as to the insinuation, sir, that the establishment of manufactures has hurt this country, I look upon it with scorn; and what is worse than scorn, withpity,—nay, with perfect contempt.”(Cries of, “That is personal;” “that won’t do,Mr.***; you are out of order.”)“If I was out of order, I am sorry for it; I did not mean to be personal; I only wished to state the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The gentleman hinted that we have not enough capital or perseverance to carry on that branch of industry; at least, I understood him to say so; butI guesshe will find himself mistaken. If we have not enough perseverance, we have at least ‘an awful sight of hang-on.’” (Shouts of “That’s right: give it to him!” andlaughter.) “But, sir, I gladly reciprocate; nay, I feel absolutely obliged to you for the kind sentiments you expressed in reference to this country. I hope the friendship between England and this country will be eternal; I mean to say,I trustit will last for ever. England cannot butprofitby it, and so mustwe. Why then should we be eternally quarrelling with one another. I can see no good arising from it in any shape; so far from it, on the contrary,a pretty considerable dealof evil.“It has been the custom of a few ignorant Englishmen to underrate the American character; butI calculatethe Englishnationhad nothing to do with it, and must, since Lord Brougham’s establishment of common schools, have learnt the true character of our people. But, as I always say, gentlemen, there is not the least cause of enmity between us. We both speak the same language, and were originally one and the same people; we intermarry and trade with one another; and, in short, do all things which mark us as civilized nations. On this account, gentlemen, and because it does not behove a Christian people (as one of our orators said), even in time of war, to harbour any ill will towards one another,[9]I give you, gentlemen, and I trust it may be a sentiment to which you will all cordially respond,—‘Success to the enterprise of both countries; and may they never forgettheir common stock!’”“A finestump speaker[10]this!” observed one of the Americans.“Rather tooKentuckical, though,” remarked another; “but the fact is, there are so manyniceshades of our meaning, that we cannot express them in any other language.”

“Gentlemen,

“I am a manufacturer,—I presume you all know what that means; and I amproudto be one.” (To the host.) “I think, sir, that without manufactures this country would be entirely dependent on Great Britain. Our manufactures, sir, make us independent; without manufactures we should still be the slaves of the old country.” (“Oh, oh!” and cries of “Go on, go on!”) “But, sir, I will go further; I will come to the point; I will go beyond it! What, sir, would become of this country without manufactures in case of a war with England?”—(Several gentlemen, “We don’t wantwar; we want peace.”)—“Gentlemen, if you interrupt me, I will sit down.”

(“No, no! go on! Let us have it in true style.”)

“Well, gentlemen, I have asked the gentleman what would become of us without manufactures in case of a war? Here is a question! will you answer me that? Can you deny that our manufactures are destined at some future day not only to compete with those of England, but tobeatthem? And as to the insinuation, sir, that the establishment of manufactures has hurt this country, I look upon it with scorn; and what is worse than scorn, withpity,—nay, with perfect contempt.”

(Cries of, “That is personal;” “that won’t do,Mr.***; you are out of order.”)

“If I was out of order, I am sorry for it; I did not mean to be personal; I only wished to state the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The gentleman hinted that we have not enough capital or perseverance to carry on that branch of industry; at least, I understood him to say so; butI guesshe will find himself mistaken. If we have not enough perseverance, we have at least ‘an awful sight of hang-on.’” (Shouts of “That’s right: give it to him!” andlaughter.) “But, sir, I gladly reciprocate; nay, I feel absolutely obliged to you for the kind sentiments you expressed in reference to this country. I hope the friendship between England and this country will be eternal; I mean to say,I trustit will last for ever. England cannot butprofitby it, and so mustwe. Why then should we be eternally quarrelling with one another. I can see no good arising from it in any shape; so far from it, on the contrary,a pretty considerable dealof evil.

“It has been the custom of a few ignorant Englishmen to underrate the American character; butI calculatethe Englishnationhad nothing to do with it, and must, since Lord Brougham’s establishment of common schools, have learnt the true character of our people. But, as I always say, gentlemen, there is not the least cause of enmity between us. We both speak the same language, and were originally one and the same people; we intermarry and trade with one another; and, in short, do all things which mark us as civilized nations. On this account, gentlemen, and because it does not behove a Christian people (as one of our orators said), even in time of war, to harbour any ill will towards one another,[9]I give you, gentlemen, and I trust it may be a sentiment to which you will all cordially respond,—‘Success to the enterprise of both countries; and may they never forgettheir common stock!’”

“A finestump speaker[10]this!” observed one of the Americans.

“Rather tooKentuckical, though,” remarked another; “but the fact is, there are so manyniceshades of our meaning, that we cannot express them in any other language.”

I again saw my cicerone in the evening, and related to him the conversation I had listened to, expressing my surprise at the continual feuds between the English and Americans.

“This ought not to astonish you,” observed he: “most of the commercial agents, who come here either to settle or to reside, find themselves, for the first time in their lives, in what is called ‘the first society,’ apparently on a par with our most influential,i. e.moneyed citizens. This, ofcourse, strikes them as extraordinary, and leads them to the conclusion that the first society in America must be essentially different from the society called ‘the first’ in England or Europe in general; to which they could not, possibly, procure themselves an introduction. This, as you may perceive, must be the natural effect of their modesty, for which you ought not to blame them, and for which I, for one, am rather disposed to give them credit; especially as I have seen the same persons, who in America flourished in the most fashionable circles, on their return to England not even admitted to the society of a London club, but content with a place in the counting-room of their employers, and a table in a city coffee-room. Though occasionally thrown into the company ofourstatesmen, they never approached, by chance, a member of parliament in their own country; and, although here considered as men of ability, they were satisfied with living in obscurity at home.

“As regards their political opinions,” he continued, “few of them, I believe, have received a liberal education, so as to be able to view our institutions with an enlarged, impartial mind, or to separate an accidental evil from the general good of which they may be productive to the greatmass of the people. Instead of seeing in our government a practical illustration of the political doctrines abstracted from the experience of all countries and of every age, they view in it only a modification of the government of England, and apply to it the scale of their own country.

“For this we can the less blame them, as many of our most distinguished statesmen and politicians take precisely the same view of our institutions; referring them constantly to the British model, and considering nothing as legitimate which cannot be directly traced to, or deduced from, a similar institution in Great Britain. If you believe them, no other people but the English are born with a political understanding or forecast: why then should the English, who come here, not apply the same doctrines also to the Americans? and why should they not, occasionally, join our own fashionable people in depreciating the advantages of our government, and speak disrespectfully of those whom ourselves are accustomed to treat with so little ceremony?

“When the English, who come here to live among us, declare our government a mere experiment, and our institutions destructive to the ends of society, they re-echo but the sentiments of our first people, whom they are obliged to imitate ifthey wish to be considered fashionable; for, believe me, an Englishman who would praise our government, and who in consequence would be suspected of Radicalism, would be infinitely less popular in Boston than one who, by abusing us, proves himself to have belonged to the fashionable school of politics in his own country.

“The great evil of our society consists in its being constantly acted upon by two entirely heterogeneous principles,—the democratic institutions of the country impelling our people one way, while the aristocratic aspirings of the upper classes communicate to them an impulse in the opposite direction. The resulting motion, therefore, is neitherstraight forward, nor directly ascending; but a sort of compromising diagonal, which in the inimitable language of our people is characteristically called ‘slantendicular.’

“This is the great historical origin of the doctrine of double motives which sways our best society; and which is, perhaps, the principal cause of all the incongruities, contradictions, and downright absurdities for which we have been ridiculed by Europeans. I, for my own part, tell you frankly that I dislike in the extreme the ‘slantendicular’ conduct of certain classes. I prefer a downright aristocracy withavowedmotives and principles, to a jesuitical nobility of ‘influential citizens.’ You must respect the perseverance and iron consequence of a Duke of Wellington; but you cannot but despise the cringing pride ofourTory politicians. If we are doomed to have artificial distinctions,—if we must have an aristocracy after the model of that of Europe,—let us, for mercy’s sake!import it ready made; the gradual process of growing it ourselves is too tedious, and the minute details too disgusting, not to put the best of us out of humour.

“I never want to see an aristocrat until he is ready to put on white gloves; our ‘ungloved,’ ‘unwashed’ aristocrats are to me an object of horror. No tyranny is more odious than that of an overgrownbourgeoisie. Being less removed from the lower classes, their tyranny is more felt; and not being placed sufficiently above competition, they are incapable of taking any lofty, disinterested views with regard to the government of the people, whom they half fear and half despise. These faults, at least, are among those which are seldom to be found in an hereditary aristocracy, until it becomes reduced to a position in which it is obliged to enter with the people on a contest for power.

“Having told you so much about our ‘first people,’” said my cicerone, taking a bottle from his closet, and filling two glasses with I do not now remember what, “I will, as apendantto them, relate to you an anecdote which will throw some light also on oursecondsociety. Only let us drink fast, and let me soon remove the glasses; I should not like my servants to know that I am in a habit of taking a thing of this kind. There is no use in making one’s self unpopular, you know.

“The town of Boston,” he commenced, “if it were not already remarkable as the ‘cradle of liberty,’ and the place where the first Americantea-partywas given, would long ago have become so by the hospitality and convivial talents of its inhabitants.

“At the South-end of the town, at the very spot where General Washington raised a fort from which he forced the departure of the British army, stands now, not a monument to commemorate the deed, but an excellent hotel, where a man may get the best things in the shape of viands and wines, if he be willing to pay for them. To this place, called ‘Mount Washington Hotel,’ many an excellent family, probably out of patriotism, retires in the summer, not only toenjoy the sea-breeze, and to escape from the noise of the town, but also in order to be able to say that they have spent the summer at a watering-place; New Port, Longbranch, and Saratoga Springs being much more expensive, and society too exclusive to enable people of moderate fortune to participate in the entertainments of the season. The Washington Hotel, therefore, is frequented by such gentlemen and ladies as have acquired competency without wealth, respectability without family dating of more than one generation, and a common-place routine of fashion without having had the advantage of a trip to Europe,—in short, by such as in Boston form the second society, and with whom the first society never, even by chance, exchange any kind of civility.

“Notwithstanding these apparent disadvantages,” continued my cicerone, filling himself another glass, “nothing could be prettier than this second society if its members could be made to agree amongst themselves. This, however, is altogether out of the question, owing to the numerous coteries and subdivisions to which it is again subjected. Our second society, namely, has again its first, second, and third rank, each of which is again subdivided into still smaller circles,which are again numbered; so that it requires the nicety of a mathematician to ascertain what sort of company a man is likely to be with when invited to a party. Owing to this trifling circumstance, the members of the second society live with each other somewhat after the manner of cats and dogs; making but too frequently foreigners witnesses of their broils, and affording them, as will appear from my story, occasionally an opportunity of acting the peace-makers.

“An instance of this kind happened last year, when a Polish gentleman arriving in Boston, and finding the town too hot in the summer, was induced to take up his residence at the ‘Washington Hotel,’ which he was told, and with great justice too, furnished excellent accommodations at moderate prices, and commanded a fine view of the harbour.

“Scarcely had he removed thither, before his being announced ‘as a count,’ ‘a real count,’ ‘a count that wasknownto be a count,’ and who had brought letters proving him to be ‘every inch a count,’ caused such a sensation in the house, that the ladies refused to eat, drink, and eventalk, except in company of ‘the count.’ The count could not but be flattered by these attentions, and in turn omitted nothing by whichto testify his gratitude. He listened with the utmost patience to the accounts of their chivalrous ancestors,—for in Boston even the second society haveancestors,—sat without opening his lips when they mutually abused one another, and with incredible skill managed to remain on good terms with the various sets, divisions, and subdivisions, whose every-day regret it was to be obliged, ‘owing to the ridiculous American custom,’to dine together at the same table.

“At last the melancholy hour drew near when the count was about to depart. When this sad intelligence was received, the ladies, with that tenderness which belongs to their sex, and the peculiar generosity which marks ‘the second society,’ determined to pay to the count a tribute of their respect, and accordingly met in conclave to consult as to the best manner of manifesting their sentiments. At first, the first section of the second society met, and agreed to give the counta ball. Then came the second, then the third, then again theéliteof each section; and, wonderful! on this subject they all agreed.

“It was therefore intimated to the count that he must defer his departure until after the ball, to which the cavalier readily consented; assuring the ladies that their kindness should be engravenon his heart, and that he should never forget the amicable reception he had met with in Boston. The rest of my story is easily told. The evening was fixed for the party, the ‘ladies patronesses’ chosen from each set, (because, the count having been polite to all, none could very well be omitted,) and invitations sent out to three or four hundred people to pay to the count the tribute due to his rank and quality.

“At last the appointed evening arrived. The ball was superb,—the hall magnificently decorated,—the music exquisite,—the refreshments in excellent taste and in the greatest profusion. There was also a supper;—not indeed equal to one of Crockford’s, but, notwithstanding, nice, delicate, blending the French with the English art of cookery, and arranged in a style worthy of aprince. The selection of madeira and sherry corresponded with the supper; and there was a profusion of iced champaign for the ladies. The whole went off prosperously, with the exception of a single mistake; which, however, the count did not discover till the next morning, when the landlord, stepping into his room, presented him with a small piece of paper containing the disagreeable item of—

“‘To Ball, 1000 dollars.’

“The count was stupified,—changed colour,—declared that the ball had been given to him, and that he had nothing to do with settling the bill.

“The landlord withdrew; handed the bill to the ‘ladies patronesses,’ and respectfully demanded an explanation. Hereupon a grand meeting of all the sets was immediately convened, at which the best understanding prevailed throughout, the whole assembly coming to the unanimous resolution ‘that the count was a shabby fellow.’

“The day following, the count paid the bill and quitted the hotel, without leaving a single p. p. c. for any of its inmates.”

Here my cicerone finished his glass, locked the bottle and the empty tumblers carefully up in the closet, and, having put the key in his pocket, told me in the most solemn voice that it was not the custom in Boston to keep late hours, and that, in order not to lose his reputation as a moral man, he was now obliged to wish me a good night.

FOOTNOTES:[9]Mr.Quincy was, during the last war, one of the leading members of the opposition; and, as such, introduced a resolution “that it was unbecoming a Christian people to exult in the triumphs over their enemies.” This resolution was afterwards voted to be erased from the journal of the house.[10]One who speaksextempore; because in the Western country they use the stump of a tree for a rostrum.

[9]Mr.Quincy was, during the last war, one of the leading members of the opposition; and, as such, introduced a resolution “that it was unbecoming a Christian people to exult in the triumphs over their enemies.” This resolution was afterwards voted to be erased from the journal of the house.

[10]One who speaksextempore; because in the Western country they use the stump of a tree for a rostrum.

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