306CHAPTER XXVI
Well, Miss Meechim wanted to see the Goblin tapestry, so we visited the Goblin manufactory. These tapestries are perfectly beautiful, fourteen thousand shades of wool are used in their construction. What would Sister Sylvester Bobbett say? She thought the colors in her new rag carpet went ahead of anything, and she didn’t have more’n fourteen at the outside, besides black and but-nut color. But fourteen thousand colors––the idee!
Yes, we rid through the marvellously beautiful streets under triumphal arches and more warlike ones and visited all the most beautiful sights in the city and the adjacent country, and who do you spoze I met as I walked along in the Bois de Boulogne? It wuz the Princess Ulaly. The rest of our party wuz some little distance off and I wuz santerin’ along charmed with the beauty about me when who should I meet face to face but Ulaly. Yes, it wuz Ulaly Infanty.
I wuz highly tickled, for I considered her a likely young woman and sot store by her when I met her to home at the World’s Fair. She knowed me in a minute and seemed as glad to see me as I wuz her, and I sez to her most the first thing after the compliments wuz passed, “Who would have thought, Ulaly, when we parted in Chicago, U. S., that the next time we should meet would be in Paris?â€
“Yes, indeed!†sez she, “who would have thought it.†And I went on to say, for I see she looked real deprested:
“Ulaly, things hain’t come out as I wanted ’em to; I felt real bad about it after your folks sold their jewelry to help discover us. I dare presume to say they have been sorry307time and agin that they ever found us, and I wouldn’t blame ’em, for as Josiah sez to me:
“‘Where would we be to-day if it hadn’t been for Columbus? Like enough we shouldn’t been discovered at all.’ Sez he, ‘Most probable we should be Injins.’ But don’t lay it to Josiah or me, Ulaly, we hain’t to blame, we didn’t do a thing to bring on the trouble. Of course we remembered theMainesome, we had to, and your folks couldn’t blame us for it. Josiah and me felt real provoked and mortified to think that after folks had gin their jewelry to discover us they should blow us up in that way. But I sez to Josiah, ‘Because three hundred are sent onprepared into eternity it hain’t no reason three thousand should be.’ We are great cases for peace, Josiah and I be, and would have managed most any way, even been run on some and imposed upon a little ruther than to have rushed into the onspeakable horrors of war.
“And I don’t want you to blame William, either; he held onto the dogs of war with both hands a tryin’ to hold ’em in.â€
“William?†sez she inquirin’ly.
“Yes, William McKinley, our President. He jest held onto them dogs till they wuz likely to tear him to pieces, then he had to leggo. Them dogs wuz jest inflamed by havin’ yellow literatoor shook in their faces, and yells from greedy politicians and time servers, till they wuz howlin’ mad and would have barked themselves blind if he hadn’t leggo. But he didn’t want to, William didn’t, he wanted peace dreadfully.†And she said real sweet, that she knew he did.
“Well, it turned out jest as it did, Ulaly. But I think just as much of you as I did before you lost your propputy, and I d’no as the propputy Uncle Sam got hold of in the dicker is a goin’ to do him much good, not for quite a spell anyway. There is such a thing as bein’ land poor, taxes are heavy, hired help hain’t to be relied on and the more you have the more you have to watch and take care on, though of course it is a pleasure to a certain set of faculties and308some particular bumps in your head, to own a path as you may say, most round the world, steppin’ off from California to Hawaii and then on to the Philippines, ready to step off from there, Heaven knows how fur or when or where. It is a pleasure to a certain part of your mind, but other parts of your head and heart hold back and don’t cheer in the procession. But howsumever, Ulaly, that is neither here nor there. I hope your folks are so as to git round. I wuz sorry enough to hear that you and your pardner don’t live agreeable. But though it is a pity, pardners have had spats from Eden to Chicago and I d’no but they always will. The trouble is they take pardners as boons instead of dispensations, and don’t lean hard enough on scripter.
“But this is not the time or place for sermons on how to be happy, though married. How is Christina and Alfonso? I’m afraid he’s gittin’ obstropolous, and I d’no but Christina will have to give him a good spankin’ before she gits through. Of course, spankin’ a king seems quite a big job to tackle, and of course he’s pretty old for it. But it don’t do to let children have their heads too much. One good spankin’ will strike in truth when reams of sermons and tearful expostulations will fail. You might just mention to Christina what I’ve said, and then she can do as she wants to with fear and tremblin’.â€
But I see my folks passin’ down a distant path, and I sez: “I will now bid you adoo, Ulaly, as time and Arvilly and Josiah are passin’ away.†She bid me a real pleasant good-by, and I withdrawed myself and jined my folks.
One day the hull of our party visited Fontainbleu and went through the apartments of kings and queens and popes and cardinals. The rooms of Napoleon wuz full of the thrilling interest that great leader always rousted up, and always will, I spoze, till history’s pages are torn up and destroyed. And in the rooms of Marie Antoinette we see the lovely costly things gin to this beautiful queen when the people loved her, and she, as she slept under the beautiful draperies gin by309the people, never dreamed, I spoze, that the hands that wrought love and admiration into these fabrics would turn on her and rend her.
But Marie didn’t do right. Carelessness, oppression, neglect of the people’s rights, a few grasping the wealth of the nation while the people suffer and starve, weave bloody colors into the warp and woof of life from Paris to New York and Washington, D. C., and so on to Jonesville. And we went through the apartments of Louis Philippe, Francis I., Louis XIII., etc., and Madam Maintenon’s apartments and Diana de Poyter’s, and seen her monogram decorating the apartment interwoven with the king’s. I hated to see it, but couldn’t do nothin’ to break it up at this late day. Miss Meechim walked through these apartments with her nose in the air, having sent Dorothy into the garden with Robert Strong and Tommy, and Arvilly wouldn’t cross the thresholt, and I didn’t blame her, though havin’ my lawful pardner by my side I ventered.
But Arvilly led off into the beautiful gardens, where we found her settin’ with Robert Strong and Dorothy and Tommy by the fountain.
We wanted to explore the forests of Fontainbleu, but only had time for a short drive through it, but found it most picturesque and beautiful what we see of it.
Bein’ such a case for freedom, Arvilly wanted to see the Column of July riz up on the site of the old prison of the Bastile. And I did, too. I felt considerable interested in this prison, havin’ seen the great key that used to lock up the prisoners at Mount Vernon––a present to our own George Washington from that brave Frenchman and lover of liberty, Lafayette.
A brave man held in lovin’ remembrance by our country, and I spoze always will be, as witness his noble statute gin by our school children to France this present year. That his statute and G. Washington’s should be gin to France by America, and that Josiah Allen’s wife and Josiah should310also be permitted to adorn their shores simeltaneous and to once, what a proud hour for France! Well might she put her best foot forrerd and act happy and hilarious!
But to resoom: The last afternoon of our stay in Paris, Arvilly and I went to see the Column of July, accompanied by my pardner, Miss Meechim and Dorothy havin’ gone to a matinée, and Robert Strong havin’ took Tommy with him to see some interestin’ sight. And I had a large number of emotions as we stood there and thought of all the horrows that had took place there, and see way up on top of the lofty column the Genius of Liberty holdin’ in one hand the broken chains of captives and holdin’ up in her other hand the torch of liberty.
But I methought to myself she’s got to be careful, Liberty has, or that torch will light up more’n she wants it to. Liberty is sometimes spelt license in France and in our own country, but they don’ mean the same thing, no, indeed! We hung round there in that vicinity seein’ the different sights, and Josiah took it in his head that we should take our supper outdoors; he said he thought it would be real romantic, and I shouldn’t wonder if it wuz. ’Tennyrate, that is one of the sights of Paris to see the gayly dressed throngs happy as kings and queens, seemin’ly eatin’ outdoors. Lights shinin’ over ’em, gay talk and laughter and music sparklin’ about ’em.
Well, Josiah enjoyed the eppisode exceedingly, but it made it ruther late when we started back to the tarven through the brightly lighted streets and anon into a more deserted and quiet one, and on one of these last named we see a man, white-headed and bent in figger, walkin’ along before us, who seemed to be actin’ dretful queer. He would walk along for quite a spell, payin’ no attention to anybody seemin’ly, when all at once he would dart up clost to some young girl, and look sharp at her, and then slink back agin into his old gait.
Thinkses I is he crazy or is he some old fool that’s love311sick. But his actions didn’t seem to belong to either of the classes named. And finally right under a lamp post he stopped to foller with his eager eyes a graceful, slim young figger that turned down a cross street and we come face to face with him.
It wuz Elder Wessel––it wuz the figger I had seen at the morgue––but, oh, the change that had come over the poor creeter! Hair, white as snow; form, bowed down; wan, haggard face; eyes sunken; lookin’ at us with melancholy sombry gaze that didn’t seem to see anything. Josiah stepped up and held out his hand, and sez: “Elder, I’m glad to see you, how do you do? You don’t look very rugged.â€
He didn’t notice Josiah’s hand no more than if it wuz moonshine. He looked at us with cold, onsmilin’, onseein’, mean, some like them same moonbeams fallin’ down on dark, troubled waters, and I hearn him mutter:
“I thought I had found her! Where is Lucia?†sez he.
The tears run down my face onbeknown to me, for oh the hunted, haunted look he wore! He wuz a portly, handsome man when we see him last, with red cheeks, iron-gray hair and whiskers and tall, erect figger. Now he had the look of a man who had kep’ stiddy company with Death, Disgrace, Agony and Fear––kep’ company with ’em so long that he wuz a stranger to anybody and everybody else.
He hurried away, sayin’ agin in them same heart-breakin’ axents: “Where is Lucia?â€
Arvilly turned round and looked after him as he shambled off.
“Poor creeter!†sez she. Her keen eyes wuz full of tears, and I knowed she would never stir him up agin with the sharp harrer of her irony and sarcasm if she had ever so good a chance. Josiah took out his bandanna and blowed his nose hard. He’s tender-hearted. We knowed sunthin’ how he felt; wuzn’t we all, Dorothy, Miss Meechim, Arvilly, Robert Strong, Josiah and I always, always looking out for a dear little form that had been wrenched out of our arms and312hearts, not by death, no, by fur worse than death, by the two licensed Terrors whose black dretful shadders fall on every home in our land, dogs the steps of our best beloved ready to tear ’em away from Love and from Safety and Happiness.
From Paris we went to Berne. I hearn Josiah tellin’ Tommy: “It is called Burn, I spoze, because it got burnt down a number of times.â€
But it hain’t so. It wuz named from Baren (bears), of which more anon. Robert Strong had been there, and he wanted Dorothy to see the scenery, which he said was sublime. Among the highest points of the Bernise Alps and the Jungfrau and the Matterhorn, which latter peak is from twelve to fourteen thousand feet high. Good land! What if I had to climb it! But I hadn’t, and took comfort in the thought. Deep, beautiful valleys are also in the Oberland, as the southern part of the Canton is called, the Plain of Interlaken being one of the most beautiful.
There are several railways that centre in Berne, and it stands at the crossroads to France and Germany. And though it is a Swiss city, it seemed much more like a German one, so Robert Strong said. The people, the signs, the streets, the hotels and all, he said, was far more like a German city than a Swiss one.
It is quite a handsome city of about fifty thousand inhabitants, with straight, wide streets and handsome houses, and one thing I liked first-rate, a little creek called the Gassel, has been made to run into the city, so little rivulets of water flow through some of the streets, and it supplies the fountains so they spray up in a noble way.
Josiah sez: “If Ury and I can turn the creek, Samantha, so it will run through the dooryard, you shall have a fountain right under your winder. Ury and I can rig up a statter for it out of stuns and mortar that will look first-rate. And I spoze,†sez he, “the Jonesvillians would love to see my linimen sculped on it, and it might be a comfort to you, if I should be took first.â€
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“No, Josiah,†sez I, “not if you and Ury made it; it would only add to my agony.â€
We had quite a good hotel. But I see the hired girl had made a mistake in makin’ up the bed. Mebby she wuz absent minded or lovesick; ’tennyrate she had put the feather bed top of us instead of under us.
As Josiah laid down under it he said words I wouldn’t have had Elder Minkley heard for a dollar bill, and it didn’t nigh cover his feet anyway. What to do I didn’t know, for it wuz late and I spozed the woman of the house had gone to bed and I didn’t want to roust her up. And I knew anyway it would mortify her dretfully to have her help make such a mistake. Good land! if Philury should do such a thing I should feel like a fool. So I had Josiah git up, still talkin’ language onfit for a deacon and a perfessor, and I put the bed where it belonged, spread the sheets over it smooth, put my warm woollen shawl and our railway rug on it and made a splendid bed.
The food wuz quite good, though sassage and cheese wuz too much in evidence, and beer and pipes and bears. I always kinder spleened aginst bears and wuz afraid on ’em and wouldn’t take one for a present, but it beat all how much they seem to think of bears there, namin’ the place for ’em to start with, and they have bears carved and painted on most everything. Bears spout water out of their mouths in the fountains, they have dead ones in their museums, and they have a big bear den down by the river where great live ones can growl and act all they want to. And bears show off in a wonderful clock tower they have built way back in the ’leventh century. I never see Tommy so delighted with anything hardly as he wuz with that, and Josiah too. Every hour a procession of bears come out, led, I believe, by a rooster who claps his wings and crows, and then they walk round a old man with a hour glass who strikes the hour on a bell. But the bears lead the programmy and bow and strut round and act.
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The manufactures of Berne are mostly cloth, silk and cotton, straw hats, etc. It has a great university with seventy-three professors. Good land! if each one on ’em knowed a little and would teach it they ort to keep a first-rate school.
And it also uses a Referendum. Arvilly disputed me when I spoke on’t; she thought it wuz sunthin’ agin ’em, but it hain’t. It helps the people. If they don’t like a law after it passes the legislature they have a chance to vote on it. And it keeps ’em from bein’ fooled by politicians and dishonest statesmen. I approve on’t and Arvilly did when she got more acquainted with the idee. I wish America would get hold of one, and I guess she will when she gits round to it, though Arvilly don’t believe they will. Sez she: “Our statesmen ruther spend their time votin’ on the length of women’s hat-pins, and discuss what a peril they are to manhood.†Sez she: “Why don’t they vote agin men’s suspenders? Everybody knows a man could hang a woman with ’em, hang ’em right up on the bed post.†Sez Arvilly: “Why not vote that men shall fasten their trousers to their vests with hook and eyes, they are so much less dangerous?†But I don’t spoze they ever will. It is a job to fasten your skirt to your waist with ’em. But they are real safe and I wish men would adopt ’em. But don’t spoze they will, they hate to be bothered so.
Another thing I liked first-rate there and Arvilly did, the corporation of the city is so rich it furnishes fuel for its citizens free. Arvilly sez:
“Catch the rich corporations of our American cities furnishin’ fuel for even the poorest. No; it would let ’em burn up their old chairs or bedsteads first, or freeze.â€
“Well,†sez I, “mebby our country will take pattern of the best of all other countries when she gits round to it; she’s been pretty busy lately.â€
And Arvilly sez, “She had better hurry up before her poor are all starved or friz; but as it is,†sez she, “her statesmen are votin’ on wimmen’s hat-pins whilst Justice lays flat315with her stillyards on top of her and Pity and Mercy have wep’ themselves sick.â€
America is good, her charities are almost boundless, but I think some as Arvilly that Charity hain’t so likely lookin’ or actin’ as Justice, and Robert Strong thinks so too. But it is a great problem what to do for the best in this case. Mebby Solomon knew enough to grapple with the question, but Josiah don’t, nor Arvilly, though she thinks she duz. Robert Strong is gittin’ one answer to the hard conundrum of life, and Ernest White is figurin’ it out successful. And lots of other good and earnest souls all over the world are workin’ away at the sum with their own slates and pencils. But oh, the time is long! One needs the patience of the Sphinx to set and see it go on, to labor and to wait. But God knows the answer to the problem; in His own good time He will reveal it, as the reward of constant labor, tireless patience, trust and prayer. But to resoom forwards: One of the picturesque features of the older part of Berne is that the houses are built up on an arcade under which runs a footpath.
But its great feature is the enchantin’ seenery. It stands on a peninsula and the view on mountain and river is most beautiful.
From Berne we went direct to the city of Milan in Italy. And we found that it wuz a beautiful city eight or nine milds round, I should judge, with very handsome houses, the cathedral bein’ the cap sheaf. I’d had a picture on’t on my settin’ room wall for years, framed with pine cones and had spent hours, I spoze, from first to last lookin’ at it, but hadn’t no more idee of its size and beauty than a Hottentot has of ice water and soap stuns.
From every point of view it is perfect, front side, back side, outside and inside; specially beautiful are the gorgeous stained glass winders in the altar.
Robert Strong and Dorothy and all the rest of the party but Josiah and me and Tommy clumb up to the biggest tower, three hundred and thirty or forty feet, and they said316the view from there wuz sublime and you couldn’t realize the beauty of the cathedral until you saw it from that place where you seemed to stand in a forest of beautifully carved white marble. But I sez to ’em, “I can believe every word you say without provin’ it.â€
I never could have stood it to clumb so high, but they said you could see way off the Appenines, the Alps, Mont Blanc, the Matterhorn, a wonderful view. The cathedral is full of monuments to kings and queens and saints and high church dignitaries. Its carving, statuary, fret work is beyend description. It is said to be the most beautiful in the world and I shouldn’t wonder, ’tennyrate it goes fur, fur beyend the M. E. meetin’-house in Jonesville or Zoar or Loontown.
Milan has beautiful picture galleries, and Miss Meechim and Arvilly and I wuz restin’ in one one day, for we wuz tired out sightseein’, when a young man and woman swep’ by, both on ’em with glasses stuck in their eyes, richly dressed and she covered with jewels, and their wuz a maid carryin’ wraps and a cushion, and a man carryin’ two camp-chairs, and a tall, slim tutor follerin’ with a little boy.
I d’no as the Queen of Sheba and Mr. Sheba could have travelled with any more pomp if they had took it into their heads to come to Jonesville the Fourth of July. They didn’t seem to be payin’ any attention to the pictures, though they wuz perfectly beautiful. There wuz a group of titled people that had been pinted out to us, and their eyes wuz glued on them, and they seemed to be kinder followin’ ’em round. They gin Miss Meechim a cool, patronizin’ nod as they went by, and she gurgled and overflowed with joy over it.
She said they wuz the Mudd-Weakdews, of Sacramento, Rev. Mr Weakdew’s only child, and they wuz on their way home from Paris; he had married Augusta Mudd, a millionairess. “They are so exclusive, so genteel!†sez Miss Meechim, “they will not associate with anybody but the very first. He wuz a college mate of Robert’s and so different from him,†sez she.
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“Yes,†sez I, in a real dry tone, “I spoze he is, he looks different anyway.â€
“He is engaged in the same occupation Robert is,†sez Miss Meechim, “and he would no more do as Robert does than he would fly. He keeps his workmen down in their place. Now Robert sells them land at a cheap rate and encourages a building association amongst the workmen, so most all of them own their own houses and gardens, and they cultivate fruits and flowers, making their homes look more like a genteel, wealthy person’s than a laborer’s; it makes them independent as you please, heads right up, lookin’ you right in the face, as if they wuz your equals. Mudd-Weakdew don’t let them own an inch of land; they live in tenements that he owns and they pay high rents. The houses are laborers’ rooms, not genteel and comfortable as their employer’s. He says that he makes as much out of the rent of these houses as he does from his factory, for I must say that Robert’s workmen do more work and better. But the Mudd-Weakdews live like a prince on a broad, tree-shaded avenue with a long row of tenement houses on the alley back of it, separated from the poor, and what I consider a genteel, proper way.
“Of course his workmen complain that they do all the work and he lives in a palace and they in a hovel, that he is burdened with luxuries and is hoarding up millions, whilst they labor through their half-starved lives and have the workhouse to look forward to. So unreasonable! How can the poor expect the genteel pleasures of the wealthy, and when their houses are low and old and the walls mouldy and streets narrow and filthy and no gardens, and ten or fifteen in one room, they ought not to expect the comfort and pure air of four people in one great house set in a park. But such people can’t reason.â€
“Who is the fourth?†sez I coldly, for I despised her idees.
“They have a little girl older than Augustus and very318different from him. Little Augustus is naturally very aristocratic and they encourage him to look down on the tenement children and be sharp to them, for they know that he will have to take the reins in his hands and control rebellious workmen just as his pa does now, and conquer them just as you would a ugly horse or dog.â€
“How is the little girl different?†sez I in cold, icy axents.
“Oh, she is a perfect beauty, older than Augustus and at boarding-school now. She is the idol of their hearts––even the workmen love her, she is so gentle and sweet. Her parents adore her and expect that she will unite them to the nobility, for she is as beautiful as an angel.
“Little Augustus was terribly frightened just before we sailed, his grand-pa told me; one of them impudent workmen who had been sick and out of work for a spell rushed up to little Augustus, who was feeding cakes to his pony and Italian greyhound, and demanded him to give him some. The man’s fierce looks was such that Augustus dropped the cakes and ran away to his tutor. The man had the impudence to pick up the pieces and rush away with them, muttering that his own boy was dying for want of food, while this boy was throwing it away. What business was it to him, I would like to know. The man was turned off, I believe. Mudd-Weakdew will stand no impudence; he builds up a wall of separation between himself and them that can’t be broke down, just as he has a right to.â€
Sez I, “Mebby it can’t be broke down, but the wrongs and sufferin’s of one class is apt to react on the other.â€
“But it cannot here,†sez she, “for Mudd-Weakdew is not like Robert, mingling with his workmen, breaking down the wall of separation, that always has and I believe always should exist between the genteel wealthy and the poor.â€
“Well,†sez I, “time will tell.†And she went on.
“You ought to see the elegance of their house, thirty house servants and Robert has only two; and won’t let them319be called servants; he calls them helpers. Oh, they are so genteel! they mingle with the very first, and Robert might do just so, but he actually seems happier amongst his workmen trying to make them happier than he does with the titled aristocracy. Mudd-Weakdew would no more mingle with his workmen as Robert does, than he would fly.â€
I murmured onbeknown to myself, “The poor received Him gladly;†“Except ye do these things ye cannot be my disciples.†And I sez to Miss Meechim, “How would the Mudd-Weakdews receive the carpenter’s Son if he should stop at their gate some afternoon while they wuz givin’ a garden party to nobility. If Jesus should enter there with his chosen companions, the fishermen and the poor, all dusty from weary walks and barefooted; if he should look through their luxury to the squalid homes beyend with reproach and sorrow in his divine face, how would they greet him?â€
Miss Meechim said she didn’t really know, they wuz so very, very exclusive, but she felt that they would act genteel anyway. “And,†sez she, “they worship in a magnificent church built by millionaires and used by them almost exclusively, for of course poor people wouldn’t feel at home there amongst the aristocracy.â€
But Arvilly said––I guess she had to say it––“Yes, they kneel and worship the Christ they crucified while they tromple on his teachings; hypocrites and Pharisees, the hull caboodle on ’em, Rev. Weakdew and all!†I d’no but Arvilly wuz too hash, but mebby my groans spoke as loud as her words; I felt considerable as she did and she knowed it.
“Oh! oh!†Miss Meechim fairly squeeled the words out, “Rev. Weakdew is very thoughtful and charitable to the poor always. I have wept to hear him tell of their home above, right in with the rich you know, mingling with them; I have heard him say it, exclusive as he and his family is, and how after starvation here how sweet the bread of life would seem to them.â€
“In my opinion,†sez Arvilly, “he better spend his320strength tryin’ to feed ’em on earth; when they git to that country the Lord can take care on ’em.â€
“Oh, he always has a collection taken up for the poor, Christmas and Easter, and his congregation is very charitable and give largely in alms and make suppers for the poor, Christmas, almost as good as the wealthy enjoy.â€
Sez Arvilly, “You can’t put out the ragin’ fires of a volcano with a waterin’ pot; it will keep belchin’ out for all of that little drizzle; that seethin’ kaldron of fire and ashes would have to be cleaned out and the hull lay of the land changed in order to stop it. What good duz it do to scatter a few loaves of bread to the hungry while the Liquor Power and the mills of Monopoly are grindin’ out hundreds and thousands of tramps and paupers every year?â€
Sez Miss Meechim, “the poor ye shall always have with you.â€
“We don’t read,†sez Arvilly, “of Martha Washington having to feed tramps nor labor riots and strikers in the time of Jefferson. No, it wuz when our republic begun to copy the sampler of old nations’ luxury, aristocracy and enormous wealth for the few and poverty and starvation for the many. Copyin’ the old feudal barons and thieves who used to swoop down on weaker communities and steal all their possessions, only they gained by force what is gained now by corrupt legislation. Anybody would think,†sez Arvilly, “that as many times as that sampler has been soaked in blood, and riddled by bullets, our country wouldn’t want to foller it, but they do down to the smallest stitch on’t and how can they hope to escape their fate? They can’t!†sez Arvilly.
“But,†I sez, “they can’t unless they turn right round in their tracts. But I am a good deal in hopes they will,†sez I; “I am hopin’ that Uncle Sam will foller my advice and the advice of other wellwishers of the human race––I see signs on’t.â€
“Well,†sez Arvilly, “you have fursightener specs than I have, if you can see it.â€
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And I sez, “You lay your ear to the ground, Arvilly, and you’ll hear the sound of a great approachin’ army. It is the ranks of the Workers for Humanity with voice and pen, with wealth and influence, the haters of hate, lovers of love, breakers of shams and cruelties in creeds, political and social life and customs. Destroyers of unjust laws, true helpers of the poor. It is them that try to foller Christ’s mission and give liberty to the bound, sight to the blind. That great throng is growin’ larger, every hour, the stiddy, stiddy tromplin’ of their feet sounds nearer and nearer.†And I sez in a rapt way, “Whilst you are listenin’ to ’em, Arvilly, listen, upward and you’ll hear the sound of wings beatin’ the air. The faint music, not of warlike bugles, but the sweet song of Peace. It comes nigher, it is the white winged cohort of angels comin’ down to jine the workers for humanity and lead ’em to victory, and their song is jest the same they sung when Christ the Reformer wuz born, ‘Peace on earth, goodwill to men.’â€
Sez Miss Meechim, “I guess you hear the crowd on the avenue going home, and it is really time to go; it would not look genteel to stay longer.â€
I looked at her, and through her, and smiled a deep forgivin’ smile for I thought she wuz a foreigner, how could she understand.
322CHAPTER XXVII
In the centre of the city of Milan is an artificial lake where the Milanise dearly love to go out in beautiful pleasure yots, and in the winter it serves for a skating rink. Milan is noted for its charitable institutions, which owns property to the amount of forty or fifty millions; it is a honor to her. It has flourishing colleges, lyceums, observatories, gymnasiums, famous libraries, institutes and schools of all kinds, and the Academy of Fine Arts is celebrated all over the world. It has a beautiful triumphal arch, begun in 1807 and finished in 1838. They take their own time, them old Milanise do, but when their work is done, it is done.
Josiah thought most probable they worked by the day. Sez he, “Men are most always more shiftless when you pay by the day.â€
It has very fine public gardens, and one day we went to the Campo Santo. It is a beautiful spot; they say it has the finest sculpture and statuary in the world. We spent some time wandering around, resting our eyes on the beautiful marble forms on every side.
They wuz a quiet crowd, too; jest as calm and silent as them they kep’ watch over.
Some of the most celebrated pictures in the world are to be seen in the picture galleries at Milan, the Marriage of Mary and Joseph, by Raphael, is considered the most valuable. We went to see the fresco of the Lord’s Supper, by Leonardo da Vinci, on the walls of an old convent. But the wall is crumbled and the picture is faded and worn; besides artists have tried to retouch it with just about as much success as Josiah would have if he undertook to paint the sky323indigo blue, or Ury tried to improve a white lily with a coat of whitewash. But we loved to look on it for what it wuz before Time’s hand had laid so heavy on it and artists had tried to protect it.
We wuz in Milan over Sunday and so we went to the Cathedral to service, and agin I realized its marvellous beauty and magnitude. Its ruff is supported by fifty-two columns, and it has eight thousand life-sized statutes inside and outside, plenty enough for comfort even if it wuz over-fond of statutes.
The Lazaretto, once used as a plague hospital, is now used as an apartment-house for the poor; it has one thousand two-roomed apartments in it, a city in itself.
Napoleon, ambitious creeter! wuz crowned king of Italy in Milan. And I guess old Charlemaigne himself wuz, ’tennyrate a good many kings here had the iron crown set on their forwards. I d’no what made ’em have iron crowns, though Josiah said it would be real handy sometimes. He said if a king wuz in a hurry, and you know they are sometimes in a dretful hurry to be crowned before their heads are took off, it would be real handy, for they could take the rim to a stove griddle, and stand up some velvet pints on it and it would fit most any head. He also spoke of a coal-scuttle.
But I said that I guessed they used iron to show that crowns are so heavy and bore down on their heads so.
We visited Lake Como, Dorothy specially wantin’ to see the palace of Carlotta. Poor, broken-hearted Carlotta, whose mind and happiness wuz destroyed by the shot that put an end to Maximilian’s brave, misguided life.
Poor Maximilian! poor Carlotta! victims of the foolish ambitions of an empress, so they say. I wuz glad to throw the blossom of a pitying thought onto their memory as I passed her house, opposite Belajio, thinkin’ that it wuz befittin’ a American to do so. Tears stood in Dorothy’s eyes as we recalled the sad tragedy.
Lake Como deserves all that has been said of it, and more324too. The slopes of the mountains are dotted with vineyards, hamlets and beautiful villas. And we see many little cabins where the familys of organ-grinders live. Mebby the wife and children lived here of some swarthy creeter that I’ve fed offen my own back steps in Jonesville for grindin’ out music for the children.
It is only a journey of eight hours from Milan to Venice, and Verona is about half way. And it is almost like travellin’ through a mulberry grove. The valley of Lombardy is a silk-producing country and the diet of silkworms is mulberry leaves and the trees also serve as handsome props to the grape vines that hang from tree to tree.
Fur off, like cold, sad thoughts that will come in warm happy hearts, we see the snow-capped mountains, and bime by it grew so cold that we wuz glad and grateful when we had cans of hot water handed to us at the station.
Josiah thought they wuz full of hot coffee and proposed to once that we should take some to meetin’ with us in Jonesville to warm our feet. Sez he, “How delightful it would be, Samantha, to take a good drink of hot coffee in meetin’.â€
“Yes,†sez I, “it would look nice to be drinkin’ in meetin’.â€
“Oh,†sez he, “I mean to do it sly; I could scrooch down and pretend to be fixin’ my shues.†But it proved to be nothin’ but hot water in the cans, but real comfortable to our feet. And the mulberry groves put Josiah in mind of another innovation that might be made in Jonesville ways.
Sez he, “These silk raisers git rich as mud and jest see the number of caterpillars we have to hum; they might jest as well be put to work on sunthin’ that will pay as to be eatin’ up young squashes and cowcumbers for us to plant over.†Sez he, “Their work is worse than wasted on us.â€
Sez I, “These silkworms hain’t like our caterpillars, Josiah.â€
“Well, they may make silk of a different color, but who cares for that when diamond dyes are so cheap, and if we325wanted red silk we could try feedin’ em on red stuff, beets, and red russets and such. Why,†sez he, “with Ury’s help I could start a caterpillar bizness that would be the makin’ of me. And oh, how I would love to robe your figger, Samantha, in silk from my own caterpillars.â€
“Well, well,†sez I, “let’s not look ahead too much.†Sez I, “Look there up the mountain side and see the different shades of green foliage and see what pretty little houses that are sot there and see that lovely little village down in the valley.â€
So I got his mind off. The costooms of the peasant wimmen are very pretty, a black bodice over a white chemise with short full sleeves and bright colored shirts, and hat trimmed with long gay ribbons.
The men wear short, black trousers, open jackets and gay sashes, broad-brimmed white hats with long blue ribbons streamin’ down. Josiah sez to me admirin’ly, “How such a costoom would brighten up our cornfield if I and Ury appeared in ’em.â€
Sez I, “Ury would git his sash and hat ribbons all twisted up in his hoe handle the first thing.â€
“They might be looped up,†sez Josiah, “with rosettes.â€
We read about travel bein’ a great educator, and truly I believe that no tourist ever had any more idees about graftin’ foreign customs onto everyday life at home than Josiah Allen did. Now at Lake Como where we see washerwomen at their work. They stood in the water with their skirts rolled up to their knees, but they still had on their white chemisettes and black bodices laced over them and pretty white caps trimmed with gay ribbins.
And Josiah sez, “What a happy day it would be for me and Ury if we could see you and Philury dressed like that for the wash-tub; it would brighten the gloom of Mondays considerable.â€
Well, they did look pretty and I d’no but they could wash326the clothes jest as clean after they got used to it, but I shouldn’t encourage Philury to dress up so wash-days.
And it wuz jest so when we see on Lake Como its swarm of pleasure gondolas glidin’ hither and yon with the dark-eyed Italian ladies in bright colored costooms and black lace mantillys thrown over their pretty heads and fastened with coral pins, and the gondoliers in gay attire keepin’ time to the oars with their melogious voices. Josiah whispered to me:
“What a show it would make in Jonesville, Samantha, to see you and me in a gondola on the mill-dam, I with long, pale blue ribbins tied round my best beaver hat and you with Mother Allen’s long, black lace veil that fell onto you, thrown graceful over your head, and both of us singin’ ‘Balermy’ or ‘Coronation.’ How uneek it would be!â€
“Yes,†sez I, “it would be uneek, uneeker than will ever come to pass.â€
“Well, I d’no,†sez he, “Ury and me could make a crackin’ good gondola out of the old stun boat, kinder hist it up in front and whittle out a head on it and a neck some like an old gander’s. We could take old High Horns for a model, and we could make good oars out of old fish-poles and broom-handles, and you own a veil, and blue streamers don’t cost much––nothin’ henders us from showin’ off in that way but your obstinate sperit.â€
But I sez, “I shall never appear in that panoramy, never.â€
“Oh, well,†sez he, gayly, “Jonesville has other females beside you, more tractable and more genteel. Most probable Sister Celestine Bobbett and she that wuz Submit Tewksberry would love to float in a gondola by the side of one of Jonesville’s leadin’ men.â€
I looked full in his face and sez, “Has foreign travel shook your morals till they begin to tottle? Have I got to see a back-slidden Josiah?â€
Sez he, real earnest, “You are the choice of my youth, the joy of my prime of life.â€
327
“Well, then,†sez I, “shet up!†I wuz out of patience with his giddy idees, and wouldn’t brook ’em.
We laid out to go from Milan to Genoa till we changed our plans. I thought it wuzn’t no more’n right that we should pay Columbus that honor, for I always wondered, and spoze always shall, what would have become of us if we hadn’t been discovered. I spoze we should have got along some way, but it wouldn’t have been nigh so handy for us. I presoom mebby Josiah and I would have been warwhoopin’ and livin’ in tepees and eatin’ dogs, though it don’t seem to me that any colored skin I might have could have made me relish Snip either in a stew or briled. That dog is most human.
I always felt real grateful to Columbus and knowed he hadn’t been used as he ort to be. And then Mother Smith left me a work-bag, most new, made of Genoa velvet, and I awfully wanted to git a little piece more to put with it so’s I could make a bunnet out of it. But Dorothy wanted to see Verona and her wish wuz law to the head of our party, and when the head of a procession turns down a road, the rest of the procession must foller on in order to look worth a cent. Miss Meechim said that it wuz on her account that he favored Dorothy so. But it wuzn’t no such thing and anybody could see different if their eyes wuzn’t blinded with self-conceit and egotism. But take them two together and there is no blinders equal to ’em. They go fur ahead of the old mair’s, and hern are made of thick leather.
Well, Robert thought we had better go on to Venice, stopping at Verona on the way and so on to Naples, and then on our way back we could stop at Genoa, and we all give up that it wuz the best way.
I always liked the name of Verona. Miss Ichabod Larmuth named her twins Vernum and Verona. I thought it would be a real delicate attention to her to stop there, specially as we could visit Genoa afterwards.
Well, havin’ such a pretty name I felt that Verona would328be a real pretty place, and it wuz. A swift flowing river runs through the town and the view from all sides is beautiful. The fur off blue mountains, the environin’ hills, the green valleys dotted with village and hamlet, made it a fair seen, and “Jocund day stood tip-toe on the mountain tops.â€
But to sweet Dorothy and me, and I guess to the most of us, it wuz interestin’ because Juliet Montague, she that wuz Juliet Capulet, once lived here. I spoke on’t to Josiah, but he sez:
“The widder Montague; I don’t remember her. Is she any relation of old Ike Montague of North Loontown?â€
But I sez: “She wuzn’t a widder for any length of time. She died of love and so did her pardner, Romeo Montague.â€
“Well,†said Josiah, “that shows they wuz both sap heads. If they had lived on for a spell they would got bravely over that, and had more good horse sense.â€
Well, I spoze worldlings might mock at their love and their sad doings, but to me the air wuz full of romance and sadness and the presence of Juliet and Romeo.
The house where she once lived wuz a not over big house of brick, no bigger nor better than Bildad Henzy’s over in Zoar, and looked some like it.
Josiah said it wuz so silly to poke clear over to Italy to see this little narrer house when we could see better ones to home any day.
Miss Meechim said that it didn’t look so genteel as she expected, and Arvilly made a slightin’ remark about it.
But Robert Strong said kinder low, “He laughs at scars who never felt a wound.†His eyes wuz on Dorothy’s sweet face as he spoke.
And in her soft eyes as she looked at him I could almost see the meanin’ of Juliet’s vow, “To follow thee, my lord, throughout the world.â€
We didn’t go to Friar Laurence’s cell where Mr. and Miss Romeo Montague wuz married and passed away, not knowin’ exactly where it wuz, old Elder Laurence havin’329passed away some time ago, but we did go to the place they call her tomb; we rung a bell in the iron gate, paid a little fee, and was led by the hired girl who opened the gate to the place where they say she is buried. But I d’no as this is her tomb or not; I didn’t seem to feel that it wuz, ’tennyrate the tomb don’t look much like what her pa said he would raise above ’em:
“A statue of pure gold; that while Verona by that name is known, there shall no figure at such rate be set as that of true and faithful Juliet.†Josiah not havin’ come up to the mark in the way of sentiment at the house of Capulet, overdid the matter here; he took out his bandanna, and after flourishing it enough to draw everybody’s attention to it, pressed it to his eyes and sort o’ sithed.
But I doubted his grief, though he made such elaborate preparations for it, and I told him so afterwards. He acted real puggicky and sez:
“Can’t I ever please you, Samantha? At the widder Montague’s Pa’s you thought I wuzn’t sentimental enough, and I thought you would be tickled enough to have me shed tears at her tomb.â€
“Did you shed tears, Josiah?†sez I.
But he waved the question off and continued, “The guide told me that folks usually wep’ some there, and I expected you all would, you are all so romantik and took up with the widder Montague and her pardner. I took the lead, but none of you follered on.â€
“Well,†sez I, “if you felt like weepin’, Josiah, I wouldn’t want to break it up, but to me it looked fur more like a waterin’ trough than it did like a tomb.â€
“Well, you know how it is in the older part of the Jonesville buryin’-ground, the stuns are all tipped over and broke. Mr. and Miss Capulet have been dead for some time and probable the grave stuns have gone down.â€
Well, being kinder rousted up on the subject, I quoted considerable poetry about Romeo and Juliet, and Josiah bein’330kinder huffy and naterally hatin’ poetry, and real hungry, too, scorfed at and made light on me. He kep’ it up till I sez:
“William Shakespeare said there wuz Two Gentlemen of Verona, and I should be glad, Josiah Allen, to think you made the third one; but a true gentleman wouldn’t make light of his pardner or slight her reminiscences.â€
Sez he: “Reminescin’ on a empty stomach is deprestin’, and don’t set well.â€
Well, it had been some time sence we had eat, and Tommy wuz gittin’ hungry, too, so we returned to the tarven.
In the afternoon we went to see the old Roman amphitheatre. It wuz probably built not fur from A.D. Jest think on’t! Most two thousand years old, and in pretty good shape yet! It is marble, and could accommodate twenty thousand people. All round and under it is a arch, where I spoze the poor condemned prisoners wuz kep’ and the wild beasts that wuz to fight with ’em and kill ’em for the pleasure of the populace. Miss Meechim got dretful worked up seein’ it, and she and Arvilly had words, comparin’ old times and new, and the different wild beasts they encourage and let loose on the public. Arvilly’s views, tinged and shadowed as they always are, by what she’s went through, they both got mad as hens before they got through.
There are ruins of a large aqueduct near, which wuz flooded with water, I spoze, for acquatic sports way back, mebby back to Anna D, or before her. Some say that early Christians were put to death in this amphitheatre, but it hain’t very clearly proved.
Well, we only stayed one day at Verona, and the next day we hastened on to Venice.
Josiah told me that he wanted to go to Venice. Sez he: “It is a place from what I hear on’t that has a crackin’ good water power and that is always the makin’ of a town, and then,†sez he, “I’ve always wanted to see the Bridge of Size and the Doggy’s Palace.†Sez he: “When a city is good331enough to rare up such a palace to dogs it shows there is sunthin’ good ’bout it, and I dare presoom to say there hain’t a dog amongst ’em any better than Snip or one that can bring up the cows any better.â€
Josiah thinks we’ve got the cutest dog and cat in the world. He has spent hours trainin’ ’em, and they’ll both start for the cow paster jest the right time and bring up the cows; of course, the cat can’t do much only tag along after the dog; she don’t bark any, it not bein’ her nater to, but it looks dretful cunnin’. Sez Josiah, “I wouldn’t be ashamed to show Snip off by the side of any of the dogs in the Doggy’s Palace.â€
Sez I, coldly, “How do you spell dogs, Josiah Allen?â€
“Why, dog-es, doggys.â€
Sez I, “The palace was rared up by a man––a Doge––the Doges wuz great men, rulers in Venice.â€
“I don’t believe a word on’t,†sez he. “It is rared up for dogs, and I’m thinkin’ quite a little of rarin’ up a small house with a steeple on’t for Snip. He deserves it.â€
Well, there wuzn’t no use in argyin’; I knew he would have to give up when he got there, and so he did. And it wuz jest so with the Bridge of Sighs, that has, as Mr. Byron said, “A palace and a prison on each side.â€
Josiah insisted on’t that it wuz called the Bridge of Size, because it wuz the most sizeable bridge in the world. But it is no such thing; it don’t begin, as I told him, with the Brooklyn Bridge; why, it hain’t no longer than the bridge between Loontown and Zoar, or the one over our creek, but I presoom them who passed over this bridge to execution gin deep, loud sithes––it wuz nateral they should––so the bridge wuz named after them sithes.
Josiah said if that wuz fashionable he should name the bridge down back of the barn the Bridge of Groans, it wuz such a tug for the horses to draw a load over it. Sez he, “I almost always give a groan and so does Ury––Bridge of332Groans.†Sez he, “that will sound uneek and genteel in Jonesville.â€
But mebby he won’t do it; he often makes plans he don’t carry out and he gits things wrong––he did the very first minute we got there.
We arrove in Venice about the middle of the afternoon, and as Robert had writ ahead for rooms, a man wuz waitin’ with a sizeable gondola to take us to our tarven.
When Josiah see it drawin’ nigh he sez to me,soty vosy, “Never, never, will I ride in a hearse; I wouldn’t in Jonesville and I won’t in Italy; not till my time comes, I won’t.â€
But I whispered back agin to keep still, it wuzn’t a hearse. But, to tell the truth, it did look some like one, painted black as a coal. But, seein’ the rest of us embark, he, too, sot sail in it. He didn’t have to go a great ways before it stopped at our tarven, which wuz once a palace, and I kinder hummed to myself while I wuz washin’ me and puttin’ on a clean collar and cuffs:
“’Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,†puttin’ the main emphasis on palaces. But Josiah catched up the refrain and sung it quite loud, or what he calls singin’: