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I knowed it, I knowed that no walls can ever be built high enough to separate the sordid, neglected, wretched lives of the poor and the luxurious, pleasure-filled lives of the rich. Between the ignorant criminal classes and the educated and innocent. You may make ’em strong as the Pyramaids and high as the tower of Babel, but the passions and weaknesses of humanity will scale ’em and find a way through.
The vile air of the low lands will float over into and contaminate the pure air of the guarded pleasure gardens, and the evil germs will carry disease, crime and death, no matter how many fountains and white statutes and posies you may set up between. Envy, Discontent and Revenge will break through the walls and meet Oppression, Insolence and Injustice, and they will tear and rend each other. They always have and always will. Robert Strong, instead of buildin’ up that wall, spends his strength in tearin’ it down and settin’ on its crumblin’ ruins the white flowers of Love and Peace.
Holdin’ Oppression and Injustice back with a hard bit and makin’ ’em behave, makin’ Envy and Hatred sheath their claws some as a cat will when it is warm and happy. He tears down mouldy walls and lets the sunshine in. Pullin’ up what bad-smellin’ weeds he can in the gardens of the poor, and transplantin’ some of the overcrowded posy beds of the rich into the bare sile, makin’ ’em both look better and do better. I set store by him. But to resoom:
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CHAPTER XXXII
Amongst my letters wuz one from Evangeline Noble tellin’ of her safe arrival in Africa and of the beginning of her work there, some like strikin’ a match to light a lamp in a dark suller, but different from that because the light she lit wuz liable to light other lamps, and so on and on and on till no tellin’ what a glorious brilliance would shine from the one little rushlight she wuz kindlin’. She felt it, she wuz happy with that best kind of happiness, doin’ good. She spoke of Cousin John Richard, too; he wuz not in the same place she wuz, but she hearn of him often, for his life wuz like a vase filled with the precious ointment broke at the feet of Jesus. Broken in a earthly sense, but the rich aroma sweetened the whole air about and ascended to the very heavens.
A missionary she knew had seen him just before she wrote me. He wuz working, giving his life and finding it again, useful, happy, beloved. Not a success in a worldly way; Mudd-Weakdew would have called it a dead failure. In place of a palace, Cousin John Richard could not call even the poor ruff that sheltered him his own. Instead of a retinue of servants, Cousin John Richard worked diligently with his hands to earn his daily bread; instead of stocks and bonds bringing him rich revenues, he had only the title deeds of the house of many mansions, and Mudd-Weakdew would not have accepted any deeds unless signed before a notary and sealed with our govermunt stamp. No wealth, no luxuries, not hardly the necessities of life had Cousin John Richard, whilst Mudd-Weakdew wuz steeped in the atmosphere of wealth and grandeur for which he had lived and toiled, yet Cousin John Richard wuz blissfully happy and399content, Mudd-Weakdew unspeakably and hopelessly wretched. Both had follored their goles and wuz settin’ on ’em, but, oh! how different they wuz––how different to themselves and them about ’em. Inspiration and help flowed from Cousin John Richard’s personality like the warm sunshine of a clear June day, or the perfume from a rare lily, brightening, sweetening and uplifting all about him, whilst from Mudd-Weakdew fell a dark shadder made up of gloom, discontent, envy, hatred. How different they wuz, how different they wuz! And Robert Strong’s gole, how different his wuz from Mudd-Weakdew’s. I methought of what Miss Meechim had said to me deplorin’ly, how different Robert Strong wuz. Yes, indeed! both on ’em had had fur different goles and pursued ’em. The onselfish road Robert Strong trod wuz leadin’ him to the house of happiness––Mudd-Weakdew’s to the house of pain and despair.
I dare presoom to say I eppisoded more’n a hour to myself about it and to Josiah, ’tennyrate Josiah got real huffy and acted, and sez in a pitiful axent:
“Samantha, I’m willin’ to hear preachin’ twice a week and can set under it like a man, but it comes kinder tough to have moralizin’ and preachin’ brung into the bosom of the family and liable to be drizzled out onto me week days, and any time, night or day.â€
His axent wuz extremely hopeless and pitiful. He felt a good deal as I did in the matter, but it is a man’s nater to be more impatient and not bear the yoke so well as wimmen do. Wimmen are more used to galdin’ things than men be; I don’t blame Josiah.
I wuz glad enough to see in Vienna the stately monument to Maria Theresa, Empress of Austria Hungary. To see all about her and below her the noble forms of Wisdom, Strength, Justice and Religion. And men a-hoss back and sages and soldiers and to see her a-settin’ so calm and benine on top of the hull caboodle, it gin me proud sensations and made me glad I wuz a woman, but not haughty.
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Maria Theresa wuz a likely woman; I wish she could have lived to have me encourage her by tellin’ her what I thought on her. I would said to her:
“Marie,†sez I, “you did well with what you had to do with, your pardner left a sight for you to tend to, as pardners will if they see their consort is willing to bear the brunt. You went through no end of trials and tribulations, wars and revolutions, but come off victorious. You helped the poor a sight, abolished torture, sot up schoolhouses, fenced in the roarin’ Papal bulls so they couldn’t break out and rare round so much, you helped on the industries of your country, looked out for the best interests of your husband and son, as pardners and mothers will and looked and acted like a perfect lady through it all in war and peace.â€
It would done Marie sights of good to hearn my talk, but it wuzn’t to be. But this high, noble monument wuz some consolation to her if she could look down and see it, as I spoze she can and duz. And partly on her ma’s account I visited the tomb of her girl, Marie Christina. It wuz designed by Canova and wuz the most beautiful tomb I ever see. Nine beautiful figgers with heads bowed down in grief wuz bearin’ garlands of flowers to strew above the beloved head, Youth, Middle Age and Old Age all bearin’ their different garlands and seemin’ to feel real bad, even the mighty angel who guarded the open door of the tomb had his head bowed in sorrow. Way up above wuz the face of the beautiful Arch Duchess carved in marble, with angels and cherubs surroundin’ her. Josiah said if he wuz able he would love to rare such a one up for Tirzah Ann. Sez he, “She could enjoy it durin’ her life and if she should pass away before us it would come handy.†He thought the features of the Arch Duchess favored Tirzah Ann, but I couldn’t see it.
Albert Fountain is a noble-lookin’ structure rared up by Francis Joseph in 1869. We also visited the Academy of Fine Arts, the conservatory of music, Museums of Arts401and Industries, the new Parliament and University buildings. The University building has one hundred and sixty thousand volumes and engravings and drawing enough to fill up an ordinary building, the collection of manuscripts is called the richest in the world.
The teachers in the University of Vienna number two hundred and ten, good land! enough to make a good school in themselves if anybody knowed enough to teach ’em. In the Chamber of Treasures in the Imperial Palace we see the largest emerald known to the world and the Florentine Diamond, 133 karats big, though Josiah said when I told him on’t that wuz nothin’ to carrots he’d raised in his garden, but I sot him right. There wuz more than one hundred and forty thousand coins and all sorts of minerals and a great quantity of bronzes, gems and cameos.
I hated to give in, but I had to. I see cameos there that went fur beyend mine. We visited gymnasiums, public schools, institutes, colleges and more noble and interestin’ edifices than I could tell you jest the names on unless I took loads of time.
The principal articles of manufacture in Vienna are jewelry, clocks, kid gloves, musical instruments, shawls, silks and velvets. It is supplied with water that comes forty milds in an aqueduct and gits there as fresh and sparklin’ as if it hadn’t travelled a mild.
I felt that I ort to go and see the Emperor, Francis Joseph, while I wuz in Vienna. I knowed that if my Josiah had been took from my heart and presence as his Elizabeth had been and he’d come to Jonesville to see the sights and look round some as I wuz doin’ and hadn’t come to condole with me I should feel dretful hurt.
Just to think on’t, the sweet, beautiful woman that he had loved ever sence she wuz a little girl in short dresses and would marry in spite of all opposition, and who had been his confidant and closest earthly friend for so many long years a settin’ up there by his side on that hard peak with402the kodaks of the world aimed at ’em, and rejoiced in his joy and sympathized in his sorrow, to have her struck down so sudden and to once by the hand of a assassin. Why, if it had been my Josiah I couldn’t have bore up as Fritz had; it seems to me as if I never could have held my head up at all after it.
But Fritz had bore up under his sorrow all these years and carryin’ it along he bore also the load of his people’s cares and perplexities and tried to do the best he could with what he had to do with, which is a golden rule to frame and hang up over our soul’s mantletry piece and study from day to day and which is the very best a human creeter can do in Jonesville or Austria.
I sot store by him. One thing specially I always liked in him wuz his humility and reverence, as showed by the foot-washing in the palace. I’d hearn about that, and wanted to see it myself, like a dog, but it wuz too late, for that takes place in April. But Robert Strong wuz here once in April, and witnessed that ceremony.
It is a old custom, comin’ from so fur back that nobody knows what monarch it wuz and whose feet they wuz, and whether they needed washin’ or not. But I presoom they wuz middlin’ clean; they be now anyway, and the Emperor doesn’t do it for bathin’ purposes or to help corns, but it is a religious custom. Robert explained it all out to me so plain that I almost seemed to see it myself.
Robert said that the day he wuz here there wuz twelve old men, some on ’em ninety years old, seated at a table set out handsome with good dishes, napkins, etc., and the table all covered with rose leaves, and under it brown linen cushions for the old feet to rest on.
The old men had on black clothes, short breeches, black silk stockings, and wide white turned-down collars. They wuz seated by grand court officials, the oldest man seated at the head of the table. Anon the Emperor come in in full uniform, with a train of nobility and big court officers with403him, all in gorgeous attire, and the Emperor took his place at the head of the table as a waiter to wait on the oldest old man. And then follered twelve palace officials, each bearin’ a black tray that had four dishes of good food on it, and they took their places opposite the old men who set on one side of the table, some as they do in pictures of the Last Supper or some as we have some times in cleanin’ house and things tore up and we all set on one side of the table.
Then all bein’ ready, the Emperor took the food off the tray opposite the oldest man, and waited on him jest as polite as Philury waits on me when we have company. The Crown Prince waited on the one next in age, and each of the old men wuz waited on by some grand duke or other member of the Austrian nobility.
After the trays wuz emptied, the palace guard, in full uniform, come in with twelve more trays, and so on till four courses wuz served, the last consistin’ of a sweet dish, fruit, cheese, almonds, etc. After this, and it wuz done quite quick, for not a mouthful wuz eaten, a large, gold tray wuz brought in with a gold pitcher on it and a large napkin, and the Emperor knelt and poured a little water on the old man’s foot, and wiped it on the napkin. It wuzn’t very dirty, I spoze; his folks had tended to that, and got off the worst of it. But he had had his foot washed by a Emperor, and I spoze he felt his oats more or less, as the sayin’ is in rural districts, though he orten’t to, seein’ it wuz a religious ceremony to inculcate humility, and the old man ort to felt it too, as well as the Emperor. But howsumever, the hull twelve on ’em had their feet washed and wiped by nobility. And that bein’ done, the Emperor, Crown Prince, and all the arch dukes, etc., havin’ riz up from their knees, the Grand Chamberlain poured some water on the Emperor’s hands, who dried ’em on a napkin, and all the rest of the nobility done the same.
Then a court officer come in bringin’ twelve black bags of money containing each thirty silver florins. They had long black cords attached, and the Emperor fastened the404bags around the necks of each of the old men by putting the cords round their necks. Then the Emperor and nobility left the hall.
All durin’ this ceremony a priest and twenty assistants read and intoned beautiful extracts from the Gospel, showin’ how the Lord washed the disciples’ feet. Then all the food and plates and foot cushions wuz packed into baskets and sent to the houses of these old men, and I wuz glad to hear that, for I thought how they must have felt to have such tasty food put before ’em and took away agin for good and all.
When the Empress wuz alive she did the same to twelve old wimmen––good creetur! Wuzn’t it discouragin’ to wash the feet of the poorer classes every year of her life, and then be shot down by one on ’em? How Fritz must have felt a-thinkin’ on’t! If he’d been revengeful, I felt that he might have gin their feet a real vicious rub––kinder dug into ’em real savage; but he didn’t; he washed and wiped ’em honorable, from what I’ve hearn.
I always thought that that wuz a noble thing for the Emperor to do. I d’no as our presidents would be willin’ to do it, and I d’no as they wouldn’t. I don’t believe the question has ever been put to ’em. I guess Washington and Lincoln would anyway, and I don’t believe that they would have shrunk back if the feet wuz real dirty; they went through worse things than that.
But to resoom: Robert Strong’s description of this seen made me set more store by Fritz Joseph than I had sot. And I wanted dretfully to meet him and condole with him and congratulate him, but didn’t know as I should have a chance. But to my great satisfaction we wuz all invited to the palace to a big informal reception. I wuz tickled enough.
I spoze it wuz on Robert Strong’s account that we wuz invited to the Emperor’s palace, though Josiah thought it wuz on his account. Sez he:
“Fritz is a educated man and reads about foreign affairs;405of course, he has hearn of Jonesville and knows that I am one of its leadin’ men, and wield a powerful influence in political and religious circles, and wants to honor me and on my account and to please me, and for various diplomatic reasons he is willin’ to receive my pardner.â€
But it wuzn’t so, no such thing; it wuz on Robert’s account; Robert had been invited there for lunch when he wuz there before, for Miss Meechim had told me on’t over and over. When the evening of the reception come, Miss Meechim wuz in high feather every way. She wore one in her hair that stood up higher than old Hail The Day’s tail feathers, and then her sperits wuz all feathered out, too.
Dorothy looked sweet as a rose just blowed out. She had on a gown of pale-green satin and shiffon, which looked some the color of fresh, delicate leaves, and her sweet face riz up from it and bloomed out like a flower. It wuz a little low in the neck, which wuz white as snow, and so wuz her round arms. A necklace of big pearls wuz round her neck, not much whiter than the warm, soft flesh they rested on, and she carried a big bunch of white orchids. She looked good enough to frame in gold and hang up in anybody’s best parlor, and Robert Strong felt just as I did I knew by his liniment. On such a occasion, I felt my best black silk none too good, and at Dorothy’s request I turned down the neck a little in front, mebby a half a finger or so, and wore a piece of lace she gin me over it that come down to my belt. It looked like a cob-web that had ketched in its transparent meshes some voylets and snowdrops. And at her request I did not wear the cameo pin, but a little bunch of posies she fixed for me, fine white posies with a few pale lavender ones. I spoze Dorothy, though she didn’t tell me so, for fear it would make me oneasy and nervious, but I spoze she wuz afraid that some bold thief might rob me of that valuable jewel; she knowed that cameo pin fell onto me from Mother Smith and fell onto her from her ma. This rim of memory sot it round and rendered it valuable aside from its intrinsic406worth, which wuz great. Why, I hearn that Grandmother Smith paid as high as seven dollars for it, gin five bushels of dried apples and the rest in money. Tommy stayed to home with Martha.
The guests wuz ushered into a spacious and magnificent room. Innumerable lights flashed from its lofty ceilings and music and flowers brightened the seen. The rich costooms of the ladies and the gorgeous uniforms of the men, representatives of the different countries, richly embroidered in gold and silver, added to the beauty of the panorama. Jewels wuz sparklin’ everywhere, and I thought to myself I d’no but Dorothy wuz more fraid than she need be, I d’no; but I might have resked the cameo pin there. For it didn’t seem as if anybody there, man or woman, stood in need of any more ornaments, and if they took it, I should always thought they done it out of pure meanness. For such a profusion of jewelled ornaments I never see, and such dresses, oh, my! I thought even before I met the royal party what would I give if Almina Hagadone could be sot down there with liberty to bring a lot of old newspapers, the Jonesville “Augurses†and “Gimlets†and take patterns. Oh, my! wuzn’t they grand, though our good Methodist sisters wouldn’t dream of havin’ their calico and woosted dresses with such long trains draggin’ behind ’em or havin’ ’em low-necked and short sleeves. I could hardly imagine how Sister Gowdey and Sister Henzy would look with their chocolate-colored calicos made without sleeves and dekolitay, as Miss Meechim called it; they would blush to entertain the thought, and so would their pardners.
Francis Joseph, or as I called him in my mind, the good crisp name of Fritz, I found wuz good lookin’ and good actin’. Of course, like myself and Josiah, he’s gittin’ some along in years. And like us, too, he won’t most probable ever be hung for his beauty. But what of that? Like others lately mentioned, his liniment shows just what kind of a person he has been and is. Honest, honorable, hard-workin’,407gittin’ up at five o’clock in the mornin’, doin’ a good day’s work before lots of folks rises up from their goose-feather pillers. Fillin’ up the day with duties performed to the best of his ability. Good, solid-lookin’ and good-actin’ the most of the time, though I spoze that like every human bein’, he has had spells of bein’ contrary and actin’, but on the whole a good man, and a well-wisher to his race.
And now in this dretful epock of time, when everything seemed upside down, thrones tottlin’ and foundations warpin’, and the roar of battle comin’ nigher and nigher on every side, I felt that it wuz a great thing for him that he had the chance to hear some words of encouragement and advice. Yes, I knowed that if ever the Powers wuz in a tight place they wuz now.
I wuz the last one in the line, and so had a chance at him; I shouldn’t have had if Miss Meechim and Arvilly had been follerin’ close to my heels. I had said in days gone by that if I ever got holt of one of them Powers I would give ’em a piece of my mind that they could patch onto their daily experience, and tremble and wonder at it for the rest of their days. I had been riled up by these Powers a number of times, real provoked and out of patience with ’em. But now when I stood in the presence of one of ’em I felt different from what I thought I should feel; I pitied ’em like a dog. And I showed it. I mistrust my liniment looked pale and excited, though not havin’ a lookin’ glass present I couldn’t tell for certain, but I know my voice trembled with emotion, for I hearn it myself.
I sez to him how proud and happy I wuz to see him lookin’ so well and holdin’ his age to such a remarkable degree, and after a few such preliminary politenesses had been tended to, I branched out and told him with my liniment lookin’ good and earnest I know, and tears almost standin’ in my eyes, I told him the feelin’s I felt for the Powers, how mad I’d been at ’em in the past, and how them feelin’s had turned into pity, for I knowed just what a ticklish place they408wuz in and how necessary it wuz for ’em to keep a cool head and a wise, religious heart, and then, sez I, “I d’no as that will save you. You Powers have got so hard a job to tackle that it don’t seem to me you’ll ever git out of it with hull skins if you don’t use all the caution a elephant duz in crossin’ a bridge. Go cautious and carefull and reach out and try every plank before you step on’t.â€
He felt it, I could see he did, he knowed how the ground wuz quakin’ under him and the rest of the Powerses. “And don’t,†sez I, “don’t for mercy’s sake! you Powers git to squabblin’ amongst yourselves, for if you do you might just as well give up first as last, for you are all lost as sure as fate. Keep your temper above all things,†sez I. “You’ve got age and experience as well as I have, and it takes such experienced wise heads to manage such a state of affairs, and I d’no even then as we can git along without an awful fuss, things are so muddled up. Mebby you’re the very one to go on and try to straighten out the snarls in the skein of the nation’s trials and perplexities, and I’ll do all I can to help you,†sez I.
He wuz dretful impressed by my eloquence; he acted for all the world just as Mr. Astofeller did. He looked at his watch just as if he wuz anxious to know just the time I said such remarkable things, and I continued on, “Sister Henzy,†sez I, “thinks that the millenium is comin’.â€
“Sister Henzy?†sez he inquirin’ly.
“Yes,†sez I, “Sister Mehala Henzy, sister in the M. E. meetin’-house at Jonesville. She sez that this is the great universal war that is to usher in the thousand years of peace and the comin’ of our Lord. She reads Skripter a sight and has explained it out to me and I must say it does look like it. And oh how I do want to be here to see it, but don’t spoze Josiah and I can live a thousand years, no matter how much patent medicine we take, specially as we both have the rumatiz bad, but oh how I would love to.
“Brother Meesick thinks this is goin’ to be a war of the409yellow races agin the whites. And though it would come tough on Josiah and me to be driv out of house and home and scalped and made slaves on, yet right whilst them yeller races wuz engaged in it if I could think at all––and of course I don’t know how much the seat of thought is situated in the crown of the head and hair and whether the entire citadel would go with the scalp, but if I could think and keep my conscientiousness as I spoze I should, I should have to give in right then and there that it wuz only justice fur the white races to submit to the revenge of the darker complected, thinkin’ what we’d done to them.
“Josiah bein’ so bald they would probable have to take his head right off, not havin’ anything to hang onto while they scalped him, and I should probably foller him soon, as I couldn’t imagine a life Josiahless. But whilst I lived, and even if I wuz sold into captivity, and see Thomas J. and the rest of the children sold into distant countries, and I chained to widder Henzy, drove off west to be slaves to Hole In The Day or Big Thunder, I should have to say amidst my heart breakin’ groans and sithes, it is just, it is just, we white folks richly deserve it for our treatment to the darker races.â€
The Emperor felt my talk deeply, I knew by his looks; he looked completely wore out; it wuz from admiration I knowed.
Sez I: “It is a dretful thing to have all the beasts of the world git mixed up and a-fightin’ and chankin’ each other up, as they have seemed to, whilst the Powers have sot and looked on. Jest now it looks to me as if the Russian Bear is gittin’ the worst on’t and the dragon a-comin’ out on top, and the Eagle has done noble work a-shriekin’ and fightin’ and protectin’ her young.
“It seemed to me and Josiah that the Powers have took things pretty easy and loitered along when their ministers and missionaries wuz chased into a corner and the Boxers ready to take their heads off. It makes a sight of difference in such things whose heads are in danger. If it wuz the410Powers’ own heads, for instance, there would probable been more hustlin’ round.
“But things are in a dretful state in Russia and Japan and China. It is a great pity I hadn’t knowed what wuz comin’ when I wuz there; I could probable done lots of good advisin’ the Empress and tryin’ to make her do as she ort to, though my pardner thinks the blame hain’t all on China. He argys wrong, but is sot on it. He sez spozen he wuz slow with his spring’s work and didn’t keep his fences up, or hustle round so and mebby didn’t pay Ury so big wages as the Loontowners did in their factory, and wuzn’t what they called sound on the doctrines. You know they are seven-day Baptisses over in Loontown and Shackville; but Josiah sez if them two Powers got together and tried to force Loonton and Shackville civilization and ways onto Jonesville, which is a older place and glad to be kinder settled down and mind its own bizness; and if they should try to build roads through Jonesville medders and berry lots and set up their tabernacles and manufacturys there and steal right and left and divide Jonesville into pieces and divide the pieces amongst ’em, why, sez he, ‘I would arm myself and Ury and fight to the bitter hind end.’
“Sez Josiah: ‘Why do we want our pleasant woods and fields turned into noisy bedlams by the whirrin’ of wheels, creakin’ of engines and the roar and smoke and dust of traffick? Spozein’ we should make more money and dress better and own more books; money hain’t everything in life, nor hustlin’ in bizness; peace and comfort and mindin’ your own bizness is sunthin’.’
“‘And wheresoever them noisy manufactories go, there goes whiskey,’ sez Arvilly. A neighborin’ woman who wuz by and jined in: ‘What good duz it do to try to settle which is the right Sunday if at the same time them proselyters brings pizen that crazes their converts so they can’t tell Sunday mornin’ from Friday midnight, bring the preachin’ of411love and peace and the practice of hatred and ruin, the creeds and catechism packed on with opium and whiskey.’
“‘Yes,’ sez Josiah, ‘let me catch the Loontown and Shackville Powers tryin’ to divide Jonesville into pieces and grabbin’ the pieces and dividin’ ’em up amongst ’em and turnin’ us out of house and hum, I guess them powers would find they had got hold of a Boxer when they come to cut up my paster and divide it and the medder back of the house where grandfather Allen’s grandpa and great-grandma lays with a white railin’ round ’em, kep’ up by the Allens two hundred years. I guess they’d think they had got holt of a Boxer––yes indeed! and Josiah Allen breathed hard and looked warlike.
“‘But,’ I sez, ‘Josiah, you hain’t got it right; there is more to it.’
“And he sez fiery red in the face and sithin’ hard, ‘There is generally more to everything.’ And I sez, ‘So there is, Josiah.’â€
I see the Emperor lookin’ round anxiously and he seemed to be on the very pint of startin’ away. I mistrusted he wanted to go and git more folks to hear my wonderful eloquence, but I couldn’t wait and I sez, “Time and Josiah are passin’ away and I mustn’t detain you; you Powers will have to do the best you can with what you’ve got to do with. Wisdom is needed here, and goodness, piles and piles of goodness and patience and above all prayer to the God of love and justice for help. He is the only Power that can bring light into the dark problem confrontin’ the nations. He can settle the question and will, if you Powers trust Him and try to toiler his teachin’s.â€
“The only receipt I can give you is what I told you. Seekin’ earnestly for patience and wisdom from on high, payin’ no attention to the blue light that rises from the low grounds lit by Greed, Ambition and Revenge, follerin’ from day to day the light that filters down from heaven through the winders of the mind and soul, and keepin’ them winders412as clean as possible so the light can shine through. Brushin’ away, as fur as your powers can, the black cob-webs from your own civilizations whilst you are tacklin’ the scrubbin’ brush to cleanse older and dirtier ones, and don’t for mercy sake in the name of freedom take away freedom from any race or nation. I d’no what else you can do.â€
Agin he looked anxiously round as much as to say, oh why, why don’t somebody else come to hear this remarkable talk?
And sez I, “I will say in conclusion for your encouragement, fur off over the hills and dells of the world and Jonesville there will be one follerin’ you with earnest good wishes and prayers and will help you Powers all she can and may God help you and the other Powerses and farewell.â€
He looked dretful relieved as he shook my hand and I passed on. I guess he had worried for fear it would be out of sight, out of mind with me, and I rejoined my pardner. The rest of our party had passed on into another gorgeous apartment, but my faithful pardner had waited for me. He wuz rejoiced to see me I knowed, though his words wuz:
“What under the sun wuz you hangin’ round and preachin’ to a Emperor for? I believe you would dast anything.â€
“I hope I would,†sez I, calmly, “upheld by Duty’s apron strings.†I wouldn’t have it knowed in Jonesville for a dollar bill that right there in the Emperor’s palace Josiah demeaned himself so, but he did say:
“I don’t want to hear any more about them infarnal strings.â€
And a gorgeous official looked round at him in surprise and rebuke. Well, we didn’t stay a great while after that. We walked round a little longer through the magnificent rooms, and anon we met Arvilly. She wuz lookin’ through a carved archway at the distant form of the Emperor and unfastenin’ the puckerin’ strings of her work-bag, but I laid holt of her arm and sez:
413
“Arvilly, for pity sake help me find Robert and Dorothy.†She turned with me, and my soul soared up considerable to think I had already begun to help the powers and lighten their burdens. And pretty soon the rest of our party jined us, and we returned home to our tarven.
414CHAPTER XXXIII
Miss Meechim wanted to visit Carlsbad, the great Bohemian watering place. She said it wuz a genteel spot and very genteel folks went there to drink the water and take the mud baths. And so we took a trip there from Vienna. It is only a twelve-hours’ journey by rail. Our road lay along the valley of the Danube, and seemed to be situated in a sort of a valley or low ground, till we reached the frontiers of Bohemia, but it wuz all interestin’ to us, for novelty is as refreshin’ to older ones as to children. Cheerful, clean-lookin’ little villages wuz scattered along the way, flourishin’ orchards and long fields of grass and grain, and not a fence or hedge to break the peaceful beauty of the picture.
Anon we entered a mountainous country with blue lakes and forests of tall pine trees and knowed we had entered Bohemia. We see gypsy tents anon or oftener, for what are gypsies but true Bohemians, wanderers at will, hither and yon.
Josiah mentioned the idee of our leavin’ the train for an hour or two and havin’ our fortunes told by a real gypsy, but I told himsotey voseythat my fortune come along about as fast as I wuz ready for it, and I didn’t know as I wanted to pay these swarthy creeters for lyin’ to me. And he didn’t contend for it, for which I wuz thankful.
All along the way we see shrines with the faces of our Lord and Mary and Joseph lookin’ out of ’em. And anon a little hamlet would appear, a meetin’-house with five or six dwellin’ houses clustered round it like a teacher in the midst of half a dozen scholars. Flowering shrubs and fruit415trees almost hid the houses of the quiet little hamlets, and then we’d go by a village with forty or fifty houses, and as I told Arvilly, in all these little places so remote from Jonesville and its advantages, the tragedy of life wuz goin’ on just as it did in bigger places.
And she said she wondered if they drinked; sez she, “If they do there is tragedies enough goin’ on.â€
Bohemia is a country of orchards. I should say there was fruit enough there so every man, woman and child there could have bushels and bushels of it to spare after they had eat their fill. Even along the highways the bending trees wuz loaded with fruit. A good plan, too, and I told Josiah I would love to introduce it into Jonesville. Sez I, “How good it would be to have the toil-worn wayfarers rest under the shady branches and refresh themselves with good fruit.â€
And he said “He didn’t want to toll any more tramps into Jonesville than there wuz already.â€
And I spoze they would mebby find it too handy to have all the good fruit they wanted hangin’ down over their heads as they tramped along––I d’no but it would keep ’em from workin’ and earnin’ their fruit.
Anon the good car would whirl us from a peaceful country into mountain scenery, huge ledges of rock would take the places of the bending fruit trees, and then jest as we got used to that we would be whirled out agin, and see a peaceful-lookin’ little hamlet and long, quiet fields of green.
In the harvest fields we see a sight that made me sad and forebode, though it seemed to give Josiah intense satisfaction. We see as many agin wimmen in the harvest field as we did men, and in Carlsbad we see young girls carryin’ brick and mortar to the workmen who wuz buildin’ houses. I thought as I looked out on the harvest fields and see wimmen doin’ all the hard work of raisin’ grain and then havin’ to cook it after it wuz made into flour and breakast food it didn’t seem right to me, it seemed as if they wuz doin’ more than their part. But I spozed the men wuz off to the wars fightin’416and gittin’ killed to satisfy some other man’s ambition, or settlin’ some other men’s quarrels.
Josiah sez, smilin’ happily, “Wouldn’t it look uneek to see Philury mowin’ in our oat and wheat fields, and you and Sister Bobbett rakin’ after and loadin’ grain and runnin’ the thrashin’ machine?â€
“Yes,†sez I, “when I foller a thrashin’ machine, Josiah Allen, or load a hay rack it will look uneeker than will ever take place on this planet, I can tell you to once.â€
But Arvilly sez, “Don’t be too sure, Josiah Allen’s wife; with three wars bein’ precipitated on our country durin’ one administration, and the conquered contented regions havin’ to be surrounded by our soldiers and fit all the time to keep ’em from laughin’ themselves to death, you don’t know how soon all of our men will be drafted into the army and we wimmen have to do all the farm work.â€
“Yes,†sez Josiah, “that is so, and you would be a crackin’ good hand to pitch on a load of hay or mow away, you are so tall.â€
“And you,†sez she with a defiant mean, “would be a good hand to put in front of the battle field; you’re so short, the ballsmight nothit you the first round.â€
She put a powerful emphasis on the “might not,†and Josiah looked real agitated, and I sez:
“Such talk is onprofitable, and I should advise you, Josiah, to use your man’s influence to try to make peace for the country’s good, instead of wars for the profit of Trusts, Ambition, etc., and you can escape the cannon’s mouth, and Arvilly keep on sellin’ books instead of ploughin’ and mowin’.â€
Robert Strong and Dorothy enjoyed Carlsbad the best that ever wuz. I don’t think they sot so much store by the water as they did the long mountain walks. Everybody here becomes a mountain climber. The doctors here agree that this exercise is a great means of cure, and they make the climbing easy and delightful. There are over thirty miles417of good roads over the mountains and around Carlsbad, and as you climb upwards anon or even oftener you come to pretty little pavilions where you can rest and look off onto the delightful scenery, and every little while you’ll come to a place where you can git good refreshments to refresh you.
The Sprudel, or Bubbling Well, bubbles over in a stream of almost boiling hot water five or six inches in diameter. It is so hot that you can’t handle the mugs it is served in with your naked hand, you hold it by a napkin and have to take it a little sip at a time if you don’t want to be scalded.
Josiah had disputed with me about the waters being so hot. He said it didn’t look reasonable to him that bilin’ hot water would flow out of the cold ground, and he knowed they had told stories about it. “Why,†sez he, “if it wuz hot when it started it would git cooled off goin’ through the cold earth.â€
But I sez: “They say so, Josiah––them that have been there.â€
“Well,†sez he, “you can hear anything. I don’t believe a word on’t.â€
And so in pursuance of his plan and to keep up his dignity he wouldn’t take a napkin with his mug of water, but took holt on’t with his naked hand and took a big swaller right down scaldin’ hot.
He sot the mug down sudden and put his bandanna to his mouth, and I believe spit out the most on’t. He looked as if he wuz sufferin’ the most excruciating agony, and I sez:
“Open your mouth, Josiah, and I will fan it.â€
“Fan your grandmother!†sez he. “I didn’t like the taste on’t, Samantha; it most sickened me.â€
But I sez: “Josiah Allen, do you want some liniment on your hand and your tongue? I know they pain you dretfully.â€
Sez he, smilin’ a dretful wapeish smile: “It is sickish tastin’ stuff.†And he wouldn’t give in any further and418didn’t, though I knew for days his mouth wuz tender, and he flinched when he took anything hot into it.
As I would look dreamily into the Bubblin’ Well I would methink how I do wish I knowed how and where you come to be so hot, and I’d think how much it could tell if it would bubble up and speak so’s we could understand it. Mebby it wuz het in a big reservoir of solid gold and run some of the way through sluice ways of shinin’ silver and anon over beds of diamonds and rubies. How could I tell! but it kep’ silent and has been mindin’ its own bizness and runnin’ stiddy for over six hundred years that we know on and can’t tell how much longer.
Exceptin’ in the great earthquake at Lisbon about a hundred and fifty years ago, it stopped most still for a number of days, mebby through fright, but afer a few days it recovered itself and has kep’ on flowin’ stiddy ever since. It wuz named for Charles IV., who they say discovered it, Charle’s Bath or Carlsbad. His statute stands in the market-place and looks quite well. Carlsbad has a population of twenty or thirty thousand, and over fifty thousand people visit Carlsbad every summer to drink of the waters. Drinking and walking is what the doctors prescribe and I d’no but what the walking in the invigorating mountain air does as much good as the water. The doctor generally makes you drink a glass about seven in the morning, then take a little walk, then drink another glass, and another little walk and so on until about eight, when you can go to the Swiss bakery and get the zwiebach or twice baked bread, which is handed you in a paper bag, and then you can go to some cafay on the sidewalk and get coffee or tea and boiled eggs and make out your breakfast. No butter is given you unless the doctor orders it. That madded Josiah and he said they kep’ it back because they wuz clost and wanted to save. He is a great case for butter.
And then after resting for an hour, you go for a walk up the mountains, or if you are too weak to walk, you can419get a cart and a donkey, the driver walking alongside; up the shady paths you will go, resting anon or oftener at some pleasant summer house or cafay. At one you have your dinner, you can get it anywhere along your way or go back to your tarven for it; Josiah and I generally went back and got our dinner at the tarven and rested for a while. After dinner, folks generally go for another walk, but Josiah and I and Tommy used often to go to the Sprudel Corridor and listen to first-rate music or to a garden concert nigh by.
It wuz a sight to set in the Sprudel Corridor and see the crowds of people go by, each one bearin’ a little mug in their hands or strapped over their shoulders. All sorts of lookin’ folks, handsome and humbly, tall and short, thick and thin, thousands and thousands of ’em a-goin’ every morning for their drink and walk, drink and walk. There are six or eight little girls at each of these springs who hand the water to the guests and they have to work spry to keep ’em all supplied.
It wuz a remarkable coincidence that royalty so soon after havin’ the advantage of a interview and advice from Josiah Allen’s wife should agin have the privilege of listenin’ to her invaluable precepts. But not so remarkable when you come to study on it philosophically. For it seems to be a law of nater that if one thing happens, another similar thing follers on and happens too, such as breakin’ dishes, onexpected company, meetin’ royalty, etc., etc.
I wuz settin’ alone in the Sprudel Corridor one day, for my pardner had gone with Tommy to see a little donkey that had took the child’s fancy and we meant to let him have a ride up the mountain on it and the rest of our party had driv out to Mentoni’s Spring, about two milds from Carlsbad.
I see a real sweet pretty girl coming along carrying her little mug just like the rest of the folks. She wuz attended by a good-lookin’ lady, who seemed to be looking out for her, and I hearn a bystander say:
420
“That’s the Queen of Holland.â€
When I wuz told that the Queen of Holland wuz approachin’ I sez, “You don’t say so! you don’t say that that is Willieminy?â€
“Yes,†sez the bystander standin’ by.
And I tell you I looked at her with all the eyes I had, and if I had had a dozen more I should have used them all, for I liked her looks first-rate, fair complected, blue eyes, light wavy hair, and a air of demure innocence and wisdom that wuz good to see. She wuz pretty and she wuz good, I could see that as plain as I could tell a buff cochin hen from a banty. And I wuz glad enough, when havin’ discovered sunthin’ she had left behind, her companion left her and went back to the tarven and she come and sot down right by my side to wait for her.
And as my rule is, I immegiately lived up to my privileges and told her how highly tickled I wuz to have the chance to see her and tell her how much store I sot by her. Sez I: “My dear, I have always wanted to see you and tell you how much I have liked almost every move you’ve made since you got to be a sovereign and before. Your crown hain’t seemed to be top heavy, drawin’ your fore top and your common sense down with it as some crowns do. You’ve wore it sensible and you’ve carried your septer stiddy, and for a young girl like you to do them things has seemed a great thing to me. A good many young girls would be carried away if they wuz in a place like yours; I am most afraid Tirzah Ann would at your age.â€
“Tirzah Ann?†sez she inquirin’ly.
“Yes, Josiah Allen’s girl by his first wife,†sez I. “I did my best bringin’ her up, but if a kag is filled with rain water you can’t tap it and have it run cream or maple molasses. She wuz nateraly kinder sentimental and vain and over dressy, and keeps up them traits to this day. And I d’no what she would have done if she’d tried to rule a kingdom at eighteen; I guess her subjects would have seen strange421doin’s and strange costooms, though I think Tirzah means to be a Christian. But you’ve done first-rate, you’ve seemed to study the best good of your subjects and have made a big effort to have peace in the world. I wuz dretul interested when you had that Peace Conference meet in your ‘House in the Woods.’ I’d been more’n willin’ to had it meet in our sugar house, but it wuzn’t big enough, and it wuzn’t so central; it wuz better to have it where it wuz.
“I guess I sot more store by your doin’s in that respect than by any other, for peace is what a sovereign and a subject must have to git along any ways comfortable. And at the present time what a comfort it would be if the nations of the world could git holt on it. But it almost seems as if peace had spread her wings and flowed away from this planet, such cuttin’s up and actin’s are on every side, wars and rumors of wars, armies and navies crashin’ up aginst each other, nations risin’ up aginst nation, brothers’ hands lifted up aginst brothers and the hull world seemin’ to be left to the mercy of the bloody fiend, War.
“Well, you and I can’t help it, Willieminy. I’ve done all I could in Jonesville. I’ve talked a sight and sot Josiah up all I could to vote for peace, and you’ve done all you could in Holland, and so now we’ve got to set down and trust in the Providence that watches over Jonesville and Holland.â€
She acted as if she felt real pleased with my praise, as well she might, and I sez, “Another thing I’ve liked in you, Willieminy, you wuz so bound and determined to pick out your pardner for yourself and not have him selected for you. Why, good land! a dress or a pair of shues or gloves hain’t half so apt to fit and set well if you leave ’em for somebody else to pick out for you, and much more a pardner. I honored you for your idees in that direction, for you’ve probably found out, my dear,†sez I, “that even if you take sights of pains and pick him out yourself, a pardner is sunthin’ that requires lots of patience and long sufferin’ to git along with, though real convenient to have round lots of422times when tramps are about, or reachin’ up overhead in the buttery, or at funerals, etc. It always looks nobler to have a man along with you than to mog along alone. And men are about on a average as fur as their goodness goes with their female pardners most of the time.
“But he will be no he-angel, if you cross him just before meal time, or don’t see that his clothes are mended up good. I hearn once of a young bride who thought her husband wuz perfect, and I spoze looked at his backbone sarahuptishushly from day to day a-worryin’ for fear his wings would sprout out and he would soar away from her to go and be an angel. But one day she mended a hole in his pocket, and bein’ on-used to mendin’ she took a wrong turn, and sewed the pocket right up.
“Well! well! I don’t spoze she ever worried about his angel qualities after that time. I spoze he cut up dretful and said words she never dremp of his knowin’ by sight, and she wuz jest as surprised and horrified as she would have been to had a lamb or a cooin’ dove bust out in profanity. But he wuz a likely man, and got over it quick, and wuz most too good to her for a spell afterwards, as pardners have been wont to do on such occasions ever since the creation of the world.
“But, as I say, matrimony has difficulties enough when Love heads the procession and Wedded Bliss plays the trombone in the orkestry.â€
She looked real interested as if my words wuz awful congenial to her. And whilst watchin’ her sweet face growin’ brighter and sweeter, I thought of another thing that I thought mebby she had been worryin’ about and that I could comfort her up in, just as I would want our Tirzah Ann comforted under like circumstances, and I got real eloquent talkin’ about this before I got through.
Sez I: “Of course, my dear, there wuz some talk about your pardner havin’ his eye on your proppity, but I wouldn’t let that worry me, for I’ve always said that if I wuz a rich,423handsome young woman, I would just as soon be married for my money as my beauty. They’re both outside of the real self, equally transitory, or in fact, the money if invested in govermunt bonds is more lasting. For the national system is fur more firm and steadfast than the physical.
“Fifty years hence I spoze the money will all be safe and gainin’ interest, so if that is what a woman is married for she will keep her attraction and even increase it. But fifty years hence where will her beauty be, if she wuz married alone for that? Where are its powerful attractions? All gone. If she had nothing but the beauty of snowy brow and brilliant eye and clustering locks and perfect features.
“But beauty that looks from the soul through the face. Ah! that is another thing! That still remains when the dusky hair is changed to white, when the glow is turned to shadows in the eyes, when the lithe form is bent. That is a bit of the eternal, and forever young like its Creator. You have got that beauty, my dear, as well as proppity, so don’t worry.â€
I felt real eloquent, and I could see by her looks that I wuz impressin’ her powerfully and givin’ her sights of comfort in her tryin’ place.
But I knew that eppisodin’, though interestin’ and agreeable, devoured time, and I knew that I must hold my eloquent emotions back and let Common Sense take the reins and conclude my remarks, so I sez:
“I hope from the bottom of my heart that your pardner is a good man, one that hain’t too uppish, and is willin’ to chore round the house a little if necessary, and set store by you in youth and age, and that you and he will live happy and reign long over a peaceful and happy land.â€
I see her companion in the distance comin’ slowly back as if not hardly dastin’ to interrupt our conversation, and I sez, “Good-by, my dear, and God bless you. Give my respects to your pardner and Queen Emma, and if you ever come to Jonesville I would love to have you make me a all424day’s visit, and I’ll invite the children and kill a hen and make a fuss.
“I don’t spoze Jonesville is so neat as Amsterdam; I spoze you can set down and eat offen the sidewalk in Holland most anywhere, but I am called a good housekeeper, and will do the best I can. And now I don’t want you to put yourself out in the matter, but if you should come and could manage it handy, if your ma would bring me some of your tulip seeds I’d swop with her and give her some of the handsomest sunflowers she ever laid eyes on, and they make splendid food for hens to make ’em lay.â€
She didn’t give me any answer about this either way, and I thought mebby her ma might be short on it for bulbs, and I wouldn’t say anything more about it. But she bid me good-by real pleasant and we shook hands and wuz jest partin’ away from each other when I thought of another very important thing that I wanted to warn the dear young queen about, and I turned round and sez:
“Oh, I must warn you solemnly of one thing more before we part; I have worried a sight about it; thinkin’ so much on you as I do, I have been dretful afraid that you would be overflowed. If there should be big rains and the ocean should rise half an inch I’ve felt I didn’t know what would become of you. You had better keep wash-tubs and pails handy and don’t be ketched out without rubber boots, and keep your eye on leakages in the ground as well as govermuntal and financial affairs. And now again I will say, my dear, God bless you and farewell.â€
She shook hands agin quite warm, and with a sweet smile on a pretty young face she assured me that she would be careful, and she jined her companion and went on towards the spring. And I know she wuz dretful pleased with what I’d said to her for I hearn her fairly laugh out as she told the lady about it.
Whilst we wuz in Carlsbad Miss Meechim took the mud baths. She said they wuz considered very genteel and I425guess mebby they wuz, so many things are genteel that are kinder disagreeable. They wuz also said to be first-rate for the rumatiz and the nerves. But it seemed to me I had almost ruther have nerves than to be covered all over with that nasty black mud.
They take about sixty pounds of clay and mix it with the hot spring water till it is just about as thick as I make the batter for buckwheat cakes in Jonesville, and I make that jest about as thick as I do my Injin bread. And you git into this bath and stay about half an hour. Then of course before you’re let loose in society you’re gin a clean water bath to git the mud off. Miss Meechim thought they helped her a sight, and mebby they did, and she boasted a lot how genteel they wuz.
But I told her I had never been in the habit of settin’ store by mud and lookin’ up to it, and didn’t believe I should begin at this late day, but Josiah’s rumatiz wuz so bad I didn’t know but he had better take one. But he said he had took one in Jonesville some years ago that would last him durin’ his nateral life.
He did fall into a deep mud-puddle one night goin’ to sister Celestine Gowdey’s for a bask pattern for Tirzah Ann. And it bein’ dark and the puddle a deep one he floundered round in it till he looked more like a drownded rat than a human bein’. He never could bear basks from that hour till this, and he has always dated his rumatiz from that time, but it hain’t so; he had it before. But ’tennyrate he wouldn’t take the mud baths at Carlsbad, nor none of us did but Miss Meechim. Howsumever there are lots of folks that set store by ’em.