The Parrot and the Cuckoo.A Tragedy.Scene:The vicinity of the Cuckoo Clock. Cuckoo discovered in the act of telling three o’clock. Parrot watching from a perch near by.Cuckoo: Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!Parrot: Hark, there she goes!To hear her any parrot would supposeShe owned the earth, conceited little thing,She really seems to fancy she can sing,Yet, though you’ll scarce believe, that little birdRules the whole blessed household with a word.She only has to call “Cuckoo!” and lo!The family at once to luncheon go.When she screams “Cuckoo!” twice it is the ruleFor all the kids to hurry back to school—And whensixtimes they know it is a signThat Cuckoo thinks it’s time for them to dine.And so it goes through all the livelong day,She tells them what to do and they obey.But as for me, they treat me like a dollAnd mimic me and call me “Pretty Poll,”And ask me several million times a day,“Does Polly want a cracker?”—by the way,I’ve yet to see that cracker—oh, sometimesI gnash my beak, or mutter nursery rhymesOr anything! for fear I should let slipThe wicked words they taught me on the ship,Those naughty sailors, when long, long agoThey brought me from the land where spices growAnd palm-trees wave, and Cuckoos do not ruleAnd tell folks when to bed and when to schoolAnd when to go to dinner.Never mind!Mytime will come. As that vain bird will findUnto her sorrow. Yes, the die is cast!Next time the Cuckoo squawks will be her last.Next time she tries—Cuckoo(striking four o’clock): Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!Parrot: Come, now, have done! we’ve heard enough from you!Prepare to die! your little reign is o’er,Over this house you’ll tyrannize no more!What! won’t you come? then I’ll soon show you how!There! stop that racket; heavens, what a row!(Smashes the Cuckoo to bits, causing the machinery to run down.)Help, stop it, some one!(It stops.)Well, upon my word,You’re tough for such a very little bird,I thought you’d never die! and now, my dear,The family will very soon be here,And when they see how little’s left of youThey’ll be so glad they won’t know what to do—To think the Cuckoo’s killed and they are freeTo work or play or sleep or take their teaJust when they please—and, best of all, how jollyTo feel they owe it all to “Pretty Polly”!(Curtain.)
Scene:The vicinity of the Cuckoo Clock. Cuckoo discovered in the act of telling three o’clock. Parrot watching from a perch near by.
Cuckoo: Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!Parrot: Hark, there she goes!To hear her any parrot would supposeShe owned the earth, conceited little thing,She really seems to fancy she can sing,Yet, though you’ll scarce believe, that little birdRules the whole blessed household with a word.She only has to call “Cuckoo!” and lo!The family at once to luncheon go.When she screams “Cuckoo!” twice it is the ruleFor all the kids to hurry back to school—And whensixtimes they know it is a signThat Cuckoo thinks it’s time for them to dine.And so it goes through all the livelong day,She tells them what to do and they obey.But as for me, they treat me like a dollAnd mimic me and call me “Pretty Poll,”And ask me several million times a day,“Does Polly want a cracker?”—by the way,I’ve yet to see that cracker—oh, sometimesI gnash my beak, or mutter nursery rhymesOr anything! for fear I should let slipThe wicked words they taught me on the ship,Those naughty sailors, when long, long agoThey brought me from the land where spices growAnd palm-trees wave, and Cuckoos do not ruleAnd tell folks when to bed and when to schoolAnd when to go to dinner.Never mind!Mytime will come. As that vain bird will findUnto her sorrow. Yes, the die is cast!Next time the Cuckoo squawks will be her last.
Cuckoo: Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Parrot: Hark, there she goes!To hear her any parrot would supposeShe owned the earth, conceited little thing,She really seems to fancy she can sing,Yet, though you’ll scarce believe, that little birdRules the whole blessed household with a word.She only has to call “Cuckoo!” and lo!The family at once to luncheon go.When she screams “Cuckoo!” twice it is the ruleFor all the kids to hurry back to school—And whensixtimes they know it is a signThat Cuckoo thinks it’s time for them to dine.And so it goes through all the livelong day,She tells them what to do and they obey.But as for me, they treat me like a dollAnd mimic me and call me “Pretty Poll,”And ask me several million times a day,“Does Polly want a cracker?”—by the way,I’ve yet to see that cracker—oh, sometimesI gnash my beak, or mutter nursery rhymesOr anything! for fear I should let slipThe wicked words they taught me on the ship,Those naughty sailors, when long, long agoThey brought me from the land where spices growAnd palm-trees wave, and Cuckoos do not ruleAnd tell folks when to bed and when to schoolAnd when to go to dinner.Never mind!Mytime will come. As that vain bird will findUnto her sorrow. Yes, the die is cast!Next time the Cuckoo squawks will be her last.
Next time she tries—Cuckoo(striking four o’clock): Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!Parrot: Come, now, have done! we’ve heard enough from you!Prepare to die! your little reign is o’er,Over this house you’ll tyrannize no more!What! won’t you come? then I’ll soon show you how!There! stop that racket; heavens, what a row!
Next time she tries—
Cuckoo(striking four o’clock): Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Parrot: Come, now, have done! we’ve heard enough from you!Prepare to die! your little reign is o’er,Over this house you’ll tyrannize no more!What! won’t you come? then I’ll soon show you how!There! stop that racket; heavens, what a row!
(Smashes the Cuckoo to bits, causing the machinery to run down.)
Help, stop it, some one!
Help, stop it, some one!
(It stops.)
Well, upon my word,You’re tough for such a very little bird,I thought you’d never die! and now, my dear,The family will very soon be here,And when they see how little’s left of youThey’ll be so glad they won’t know what to do—To think the Cuckoo’s killed and they are freeTo work or play or sleep or take their teaJust when they please—and, best of all, how jollyTo feel they owe it all to “Pretty Polly”!
Well, upon my word,You’re tough for such a very little bird,I thought you’d never die! and now, my dear,The family will very soon be here,And when they see how little’s left of youThey’ll be so glad they won’t know what to do—To think the Cuckoo’s killed and they are freeTo work or play or sleep or take their teaJust when they please—and, best of all, how jollyTo feel they owe it all to “Pretty Polly”!
(Curtain.)