Chapter 3

Phe. Nor I

Orl. Nor I.

Exeunt.

Scoena Tertia.

Enter Clowne and Audrey.

Clo. To morrow is the ioyfull day Audrey, to morowwill we be married

Aud. I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it isno dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of y world?Heere come two of the banish'd Dukes Pages.Enter two Pages.

1.Pa. Wel met honest Gentleman

Clo. By my troth well met: come, sit, sit, and a song

2.Pa. We are for you, sit i'th middle

1.Pa. Shal we clap into't roundly, without hauking, or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the onely prologues to a bad voice

2.Pa. I faith, y'faith, and both in a tune like two gipsies on a horse.

Song.

It was a Louer, and his lasse,With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,That o're the greene corne feild did passe,In the spring time, the onely pretty rang time.When Birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.Sweet Louers loue the spring,And therefore take the present time.With a hey, & a ho, and a hey nonino,For loue is crowned with the prime.In spring time, &c.Betweene the acres of the Rie,With a hey, and a ho, & a hey nonino:These prettie Country folks would lie.In spring time, &c.This Carroll they began that houre,With a hey and a ho, & a hey nonino:How that a life was but a Flower,In spring time, &c

Clo. Truly yong Gentlemen, though there was nogreat matter in the dittie, yet y note was very vntunable1.Pa. you are deceiu'd Sir, we kept time, we lost notour time

Clo. By my troth yes: I count it but time lost to heare such a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend your voices. Come Audrie.

Exeunt.

Scena Quarta.

Enter Duke Senior, Amyens, Iaques, Orlando, Oliuer, Celia.

Du.Sen. Dost thou beleeue Orlando, that the boyCan do all this that he hath promised?Orl. I sometimes do beleeue, and somtimes do not,As those that feare they hope, and know they feare.Enter Rosalinde, Siluius, & Phebe.

Ros. Patience once more, whiles our co[m]pact is vrg'd:You say, if I bring in your Rosalinde,You wil bestow her on Orlando heere?Du.Se. That would I, had I kingdoms to giue with hir

Ros. And you say you wil haue her, when I bring hir?Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdomes King

Ros. You say, you'l marrie me, if I be willing

Phe. That will I, should I die the houre after

Ros. But if you do refuse to marrie me,You'l giue your selfe to this most faithfull Shepheard

Phe. So is the bargaine

Ros. You say that you'l haue Phebe if she will

Sil. Though to haue her and death, were both onething

Ros. I haue promis'd to make all this matter euen:Keepe you your word, O Duke, to giue your daughter,You yours Orlando, to receiue his daughter:Keepe you your word Phebe, that you'l marrie me,Or else refusing me to wed this shepheard:Keepe your word Siluius, that you'l marrie herIf she refuse me, and from hence I goTo make these doubts all euen.

Exit Ros. and Celia.

Du.Sen. I do remember in this shepheard boy,Some liuely touches of my daughters fauour

Orl. My Lord, the first time that I euer saw him,Me thought he was a brother to your daughter:But my good Lord, this Boy is Forrest borne,And hath bin tutor'd in the rudimentsOf many desperate studies, by his vnckle,Whom he reports to be a great Magitian.Enter Clowne and Audrey.

Obscured in the circle of this Forrest

Iaq. There is sure another flood toward, and these couples are comming to the Arke. Here comes a payre of verie strange beasts, which in all tongues, are call'd Fooles

Clo. Salutation and greeting to you all

Iaq. Good my Lord, bid him welcome: This is the Motley-minded Gentleman, that I haue so often met in the Forrest: he hath bin a Courtier he sweares

Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put mee to my purgation, I haue trod a measure, I haue flattred a Lady, I haue bin politicke with my friend, smooth with mine enemie, I haue vndone three Tailors, I haue had foure quarrels, and like to haue fought one

Iaq. And how was that tane vp?Clo. 'Faith we met, and found the quarrel was vponthe seuenth cause

Iaq. How seuenth cause? Good my Lord, like thisfellow

Du.Se. I like him very well

Clo. God'ild you sir, I desire you of the like: I presse in heere sir, amongst the rest of the Country copulatiues to sweare, and to forsweare, according as mariage binds and blood breakes: a poore virgin sir, an il-fauor'd thing sir, but mine owne, a poore humour of mine sir, to take that that no man else will: rich honestie dwels like a miser sir, in a poore house, as your Pearle in your foule oyster

Du.Se. By my faith, he is very swift, and sententiousClo. According to the fooles bolt sir, and such dulcetdiseases

Iaq. But for the seuenth cause. How did you finde the quarrell on the seuenth cause? Clo. Vpon a lye, seuen times remoued: (beare your bodie more seeming Audry) as thus sir: I did dislike the cut of a certaine Courtiers beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, hee was in the minde it was: this is call'd the retort courteous. If I sent him word againe, it was not well cut, he wold send me word he cut it to please himselfe: this is call'd the quip modest. If againe, it was not well cut, he disabled my iudgment: this is called, the reply churlish. If againe it was not well cut, he would answer I spake not true: this is call'd the reproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he wold say, I lie: this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelsome: and so to lye circumstantiall, and the lye direct

Iaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut? Clo. I durst go no further then the lye circumstantial: nor he durst not giue me the lye direct: and so wee measur'd swords, and parted

Iaq. Can you nominate in order now, the degrees of the lye

Clo. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as you haue bookes for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous: the second, the Quip-modest: the third, the reply Churlish: the fourth, the Reproofe valiant: the fift, the Counterchecke quarrelsome: the sixt, the Lye with circumstance: the seauenth, the Lye direct: all these you may auoyd, but the Lye direct: and you may auoide that too, with an If. I knew when seuen Iustices could not take vp a Quarrell, but when the parties were met themselues, one of them thought but of an If; as if you saide so, then I saide so: and they shooke hands, and swore brothers. Your If, is the onely peace-maker: much vertue in if

Iaq. Is not this a rare fellow my Lord? He's as good at any thing, and yet a foole

Du.Se. He vses his folly like a stalking-horse, and vnder the presentation of that he shoots his wit. Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia.

Still Musicke.

Hymen. Then is there mirth in heauen,When earthly things made eauenattone together.Good Duke receiue thy daughter,Hymen from Heauen brought her,Yea brought her hether.That thou mightst ioyne his hand with his,Whose heart within his bosome is

Ros. To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours.To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours

Du.Se. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter

Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind

Phe. If sight & shape be true, why then my loue adieuRos. Ile haue no Father, if you be not he:Ile haue no Husband, if you be not he:Nor ne're wed woman, if you be not shee

Hy. Peace hoa: I barre confusion,'Tis I must make conclusionOf these most strange euents:Here's eight that must take hands,To ioyne in Hymens bands,If truth holds true contents.You and you, no crosse shall part;You and you, are hart in hart:You, to his loue must accord,Or haue a Woman to your Lord.You and you, are sure together,As the Winter to fowle Weather:Whiles a Wedlocke Hymne we sing,Feede your selues with questioning:That reason, wonder may diminishHow thus we met, and these things finish.

Song.

Wedding is great Iunos crowne,O blessed bond of boord and bed:'Tis Hymen peoples euerie towne,High wedlock then be honored:Honor, high honor and renowneTo Hymen, God of euerie Towne

Du.Se. O my deere Neece, welcome thou art to me,Euen daughter welcome, in no lesse degree

Phe. I wil not eate my word, now thou art mine,Thy faith, my fancie to thee doth combine.Enter Second Brother.

2.Bro. Let me haue audience for a word or two:I am the second sonne of old Sir Rowland,That bring these tidings to this faire assembly.Duke Frederick hearing how that euerie dayMen of great worth resorted to this forrest,Addrest a mightie power, which were on footeIn his owne conduct, purposely to takeHis brother heere, and put him to the sword:And to the skirts of this wilde Wood he came;Where, meeting with an old Religious man,After some question with him, was conuertedBoth from his enterprize, and from the world:His crowne bequeathing to his banish'd Brother,And all their Lands restor'd to him againeThat were with him exil'd. This to be true,I do engage my life

Du.Se. Welcome yong man:Thou offer'st fairely to thy brothers wedding:To one his lands with-held, and to the otherA land it selfe at large, a potent Dukedome.First, in this Forrest, let vs do those endsThat heere were well begun, and wel begot:And after, euery of this happie numberThat haue endur'd shrew'd daies, and nights with vs,Shal share the good of our returned fortune,According to the measure of their states.Meane time, forget this new-falne dignitie,And fall into our Rusticke Reuelrie:Play Musicke, and you Brides and Bride-groomes all,With measure heap'd in ioy, to'th Measures fall

Iaq. Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly,The Duke hath put on a Religious life,And throwne into neglect the pompous Court

2.Bro. He hath

Iaq. To him will I: out of these conuertites, There is much matter to be heard, and learn'd: you to your former Honor, I bequeath your patience, and your vertue, well deserues it. you to a loue, that your true faith doth merit: you to your land, and loue, and great allies: you to a long, and well-deserued bed: And you to wrangling, for thy louing voyage Is but for two moneths victuall'd: So to your pleasures, I am for other, then for dancing meazures

Du.Se. Stay, Iaques, stay

Iaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would haue,Ile stay to know, at your abandon'd caue.Enter.

Du.Se. Proceed, proceed: wee'l begin these rights,As we do trust, they'l end in true delights.

Exit

Ros. It is not the fashion to see the Ladie the Epilogue: but it is no more vnhandsome, then to see the Lord the Prologue. If it be true, that good wine needs no bush, 'tis true, that a good play needes no Epilogue. Yet to good wine they do vse good bushes: and good playes proue the better by the helpe of good Epilogues: What a case am I in then, that am neither a good Epilogue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalfe of a good play? I am not furnish'd like a Begger, therefore to begge will not become mee. My way is to coniure you, and Ile begin with the Women. I charge you (O women) for the loue you beare to men, to like as much of this Play, as please you: And I charge you (O men) for the loue you beare to women (as I perceiue by your simpring, none of you hates them) that betweene you, and the women, the play may please. If I were a Woman, I would kisse as many of you as had beards that pleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths that I defi'de not: And I am sure, as many as haue good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will for my kind offer, when I make curt'sie, bid me farewell. Enter.

FINIS. As you Like it.


Back to IndexNext