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“Seven and then three dollars a week more if I cook and serve for you.”
Larry had overlooked this very important item.
“All right!” he agreed. “When can I come?”
“Right off.” Peneluna felt that she must get him under her eye as soon as possible. She moved to the door.
“You’ll make it straight with Mary-Clare?”
Larry was following the rigid form out into the gathering dark––a storm was rising; the bell on the distant island was ringing gleefully like a wicked little imp set free.
“I’ll tell her that you’re here and that she best let you stay on, if that’s what you mean.” Peneluna led the way over the well-worn path she had often trod before. “And, Larry Rivers, I don’t rightly know as I’m doing fair and square, but look at it as you will, it’s better me than another if anything is wrong. I served yer good father and I set a store by yer wife and child––and I want to hang hold of you all. I’ve let you have yer way down here, but I don’t want any ructions and I ain’t going to have Maclin’s crowd hinting and defiling anybody.”
“I’ll never forget this, Mrs. Sniff.” In the gathering gloom, behind Peneluna’s striding form, Larry’s voice almost broke again and undoubtedly the tears were on his cheeks. “Some day, when you know all, you’ll understand.”
“I’m a good setter and waiter, Larry Rivers, and as to understanding, that is as it may be. I can only see just so far! I can’t turn my back on the old doctor’s son nor Mary-Clare’s husband but I don’t want any tricks. You better not forget that! There’s a bed in yonder.” The two had entered the house next door. Jan-an had done good work. The place was in order and a fire burned in the stove. “I’ll fetch food later.” With this Peneluna, followed by Jan-an, a trifle more vague than usual, left the house.
The rain was already falling and the wind rising––it was the haunted wind; the bell sounded in the distance sharply. Jan-an paused in the gathering darkness and spoke tremblingly:
“What’s a-going on?” she asked. Peneluna turned and laid101her hand on the girl’s shoulder; her face softened––but Jan-an could not see that.
“Child”––the old voice fell to a whisper––“I ain’t going to expect too much of yer––God Almighty made yer out of a skimpy pattern, I know, but what He did give yer can be helped along by using it for them yer love. Child, watch there!”
A long crooked forefinger pointed to the shack, the windows of which were already darkened––for Larry had drawn the shades!
“Watch early and late there! Keep your mouth shut, except to me. Jan-an, I can trust yer?”
The girl was growing nervous.
“Yes’m,” she blurted suddenly and then fell to weeping. “I keep feelin’ things like wings a-touching of me,” she muttered. “I hate the feelin’. When nothing ain’t happened ever, what’s the reason it has ter begin now?”
It was nearly midnight when Peneluna sat down by her fireside to think. She had cooked a meal for Larry and carried it to him; she had soothed and fed Jan-an and put her to bed on a cot near the bed upon which old Philander Sniff had once rested, and now Peneluna, with Sniff’s old Bible on her knees, felt safe to think and read, and it seemed as if the wings Jan-an had sensed were touching her! The book was marked at passages that had appealed to the old man. Often, after Mary-Clare had read to him and left, thinking that she had made no impression, the trembling, gnarled hand had pencilled the words to be reread in lonely moments.
Peneluna had never read the Bible from choice; indeed, her education had been so limited as to be negligible, but lately these pencilled marks had become tremendously significant to her. She was able, somehow, to follow Philander Sniff closely, catching sight of him, now and again, in an illumined way guided by the Bible verses. It was like the blind leading the blind, to be sure, and often it seemed a blind trail, but occasionally Peneluna could pause and take a long breath while she beheld the vision that must have helped her friend upon his isolated way.
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To-night, however, she was tired and puzzled and worried. She kept reverting to Larry: her eyes only lighted on the printed words before her; her thoughts drifted.
What had been going on in the Forest? Why was the storm breaking?
But suddenly a verse more heavily marked than the others stayed her:
And a highway shall be there, and a way and it shall be called the way of holiness. The wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.
And a highway shall be there, and a way and it shall be called the way of holiness. The wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.
Over and over Peneluna read and pondered; more and more she puzzled.
“Land o’ love!” she muttered at last. “Now these here words mean something particular. Seems like they must get into me with their meaning if I hold to ’em long enough. Lord! I don’t see how folks can enjoy religion when you have to swallow it without tasting it.”
But so powerful is suggestion through words, that presently the old woman became hypnotized by them. They sprang out at her like flashes––one by one. “Highway”––she could grasp that. “A way and it shall be called”––these words ran into each other but––the “way” held. “The wayfarer”––well! that was easy; all folks taking to the highway were wayfarers––“though fools shall not err therein.”
Peneluna, without realizing it, was on The Highway over which all pass, living, seeing, feeling, and storing up experience. In old Philander’s quiet memory-haunted room she was pausing and looking back; groping forward––understanding as she had never understood before!
At times, catching the meaning of what the present held, her old face quivered as a child’s does that is lost, and she wouldthink back, holding to some word or look that gave her courage again to fix her eyes ahead.
“So! so!” she would nod and mutter. “So! so!” It was like meeting others on The Highway, greeting them, and then going on alone!
That was the hurt of it all––she was alone. If only there103had been someone to hold her hand, to help her when she stumbled, but no! she was like a creature in a land of shadowy ghosts. Ghosts whom she knew; who knew her, but they could not linger long with her.
More than the others, Philander persisted, but perhaps that was because of the pencilled words. They were guide-posts he had left for her. And strangest of all, this passing to and fro on The Highway seemed to concern Larry Rivers most of all. Larry, who, during all the years, had meant nothing more to King’s Forest than that he was the old doctor’s son, Mary-Clare’s husband, and Maclin’s secret employee.
Larry, asleep in the shack next door, had taken on new proportions. He meant, for the first time, to Peneluna, a person to whom she owed something by virtue of knowledge. Knowledge! What really did she know? How did she know it? She did not question––she accepted and became responsible in a deep and grateful manner. She must remember about Larry. Remember all she could––it would help her now.
The trouble, Peneluna knew, began with Larry’s mother. Larry’s mother had wrecked the old doctor’s life; had driven him to King’s Forest. No one had ever told Peneluna this––but she knew it. It did not matter what that woman had done, she had hurt a man cruelly. Once the old doctor had said to Peneluna––it came sharply back, now, like a call from a wayfarer:
“Miss Pen, it is because of such women as you and Aunt Polly that mencankeep their faith.”
That was when Larry was desperately ill and Polly Heathcote and Peneluna were nursing him––he was a little boy then, home on a vacation. It was because of the woman that neither of them had ever known that they tried to mother the boy––but Larry was difficult, he had queer streaks. Again Peneluna looked back, back to some of the difficult streaks.
Once Larry had stolen! He had gone, too, when quite a child, to the tavern! He had tasted the liquor, made the104men laugh! The old doctor had been in a sad state at that time and Larry had been sent to school.
After that, well, Peneluna could not recall Larry distinctly for many years. She knew the old doctor clung to him passionately; went occasionally to see him, came back troubled; came back looking older each time and depending more upon Mary-Clare, whose love and devotion could smooth the sadness from his face.
Then that night, the marriage night of Mary-Clare! Peneluna had been near the old doctor when Larry bent to catch the distorted words that were but whispered. She knew, she seemed always to have known, that Larry had lied; he hadnotunderstood anything.
Peneluna had tried to interfere, but she was always fumbling; she could patiently wait, but action, with her, was slow.
And then Maclin! Since Maclin came and bought the minesandLarry––oh! what did it all mean? Had things been slumbering, needing only a touch?
And who was this man at the inn? Was he the Touch? What was going to happen in this dull, sluggish life of King’s Forest?
The night was growing old, old! Peneluna, too, was old and tired. The Highway was fraught with terrors for her; the ghosts frightened her. They were trying to make her understand what she mustdo, now that they had shown her The Way. She must keep the old doctor’s son from Maclin if she could and from the stranger at the inn, if she had need. If trouble came she must defend her own.
The weary woman nodded; her eyes closed; the Book slipped from her lap and lay like a “light unto her feet.” She had, somehow, got an understanding of Larry Rivers: she believed that through his “difficult streaks” Maclin had got a hold upon him; was using him now for evil ends. It was for her, for all who loved the old doctor, to shield, at any cost, the doctor’s son. That Larry was unworthy did not weigh with Peneluna. Where she gave, she gave with abandon.
105CHAPTER VIII
Aunt Polly came into the living-room of the inn noiselessly, but Peter, at the fireside, opened his eyes. Nothing could have driven him to bed earlier, but he appeared to have been sleeping for hours.
Polly’s glasses adorned the top of her head. This was significant. When she had arrived at any definite conclusion she pushed her spectacles away as though her physical vision and her spiritual were one and the same.
“Time, Polly?” Peter yawned.
“Going on to ’leven.”
“He come in?”
Full well Peter knew that he had not!
“No, Peter, and his evening meal is drying up in the oven––I had creamed oysters, too. Creamed oysters are his specials.”
“Scandalous, your goings on with this young man!” Peter sat up and stretched. Then he smiled at his sister.
“Well, Peter, all my life I’ve had to take snatches and scraps out of other folks’ lives when I could get them; and I declare I’ve managed to patch together a real Lady’s Delight-pattern sort of quilt to huddle under when I’m cold and tired.”
“Tired now, Polly?”
“Not exactly tired, brother, but sort of rigid. Feel as if I was braced for something. I’ve often had that feeling.”
“Women! women!” muttered Peter, and threw on another log.
“What you suppose has happened to keep our young feller from the––the oysters, eh?”
“I’m not accounting for folks or things these days, Peter.106I’m just keeping my eyes and ears open. Jan-an makes me uneasy!” This came like a mild explosion.
“What’s she up to?” Peter sniffed.
“Land! the poor soul is like the barometer you set such store by. Everything looking clear and peaceful and then suddenlike up she gets, as she did an hour ago, and grabs her truck and sets out for Mary-Clare’s like she was summoned. Just saying she had to! These are queer times, brother. I ain’t easy in my mind.”
“If Jan-an doesn’t calm down,” Peter muttered, “she may have to be put somewhere, as Larry Rivers once suggested. Larry hasn’t many earmarks of his pa––but he may have a sense about human ailments.”
“Think shame of yourself, Peter Heathcote, to let anything Larry Rivers says disturb your natural good feelings. Where could we send Jan-an if we wanted to?” Peter declined to reply and Aunt Polly went on: “Larry isn’t living with Mary-Clare, Peter!” she added. This was a more significant explosion. Peter turned and his hair seemed to spring an inch higher around his red, puffy face.
“Where is he living?” he asked. When deeply stirred, Peter went slow and warily.
“He’s hired Peneluna’s old shack.”
Peter digested this; but found it chaff.
“You got this from Jan-an?”
“I got it from her and from Peneluna. Peter, Peneluna looks and acts like one of them queer sort of ancient bodies what used to sit on altars or something, and make remarks that no one was expected to differ from. She just dropped in this morning and said that Larry Rivers had taken her shack; was paying for it, too.”
“Has, or is going to?” Peter was giving himself time to think.
“Has!” Aunt Polly was pulling her cushions into the cavities of her tired little body.
“Damn funny!” muttered Peter and added another log. The heat was growing ferocious. Then, as he eyed his sister: “Better turn in, Polly. You look scrunched.” To look107“scrunched” was to look desperately exhausted. “No use wearing yourself out for––for folks,” he added with a tenderness in his voice that always brought a peculiar smile to Polly’s eyes.
“I don’t see as there is anything else much, brother, to wear one’s self out for.”
“Why frazzle yourself for anything?”
“Why shouldn’t I? What should I be keeping myself for, Peter? Surely not for my own satisfaction. No. I always hold if folks want me, then I’m particularly pleased to be had. As to frazzling, seems like we only frazzle justsofar, then a stitch holds and we get our breath.”
In this mood Polly worried Peter deeply. He could not keep from looking ahead––he avoided that usually––to a time when the little nest at the far end of the sofa would be empty; when the click of knitting needles would sound no more in the beautiful old room.
“There’s me!” he whispered at length like a half-ashamed but frightened boy.
Polly drew her glasses down and gave him a long, straight look full of a deep and abiding love.
“You’re the stitch, Peter my man,” she whispered back as if fearing someone might hear, “always the saving stitch. And take this to bed with you, brother: the frazzling isn’t half so dangerous as dry rot, or moth eating holes in you. Queer, but I was getting to think of myself as laid on the shelf before Brace drifted in, and when I do that I get old-acting and stiff-jointed. But I’ve noticed that it’s the same with folks as it is with the world, when they begin to flatten down, then the good Lord drops something into them to make ’em sorter rise. No need to flatten down until you’re dead. Feeling tired is healthy and proper––not feeling at all is being finished. So now, Peter, you just go along to bed. I always have felt that a man hates to be set up for, but he can overlook a woman doing it; he sets it down to her general foolishness, but Brace would just naturally get edgy if he found us both up.”
Peter came clumsily across the room and stood over the108small creature on the sofa. He wanted to kiss her. Instead, he said gruffly:
“See that the fire’s banked, Polly. Looks as if I’d laid on a powerful lot of wood without thinking.” Then he laughed and went on: “You’re durned comical, Polly. What you said about the Lord putting yeast into folks and the worldiscomical.”
“I didn’t say yeast, Peter Heathcote.”
“Well, yer meant yeast.”
“No, I didn’t mean yeast. I just meant something like Brace was talking about to-day.”
“What was it?” Peter stood round and solid with the firelight ruddily upon him.
“He said that the fighting overseas ain’t properly a war, but a general upheaval of things that have got to come to the top and be skimmed off. We ain’t ever looked at it that way.” Polly resorted to familiar similes when deeply affected.
“I guess all wars is that.” Peter looked serious. He rarely spoke of the trouble that seemed far, far from his quiet, detached life, but lately he had shaken his head over it in a new way. “But God ain’t meaning for us to take sides, Polly. It’s like family troubles. You don’t understand them, and you better keep out. Just think of our good German friends and neighbours. We can’t go back on them just ’cause their kin across the seas have taken to fighting. Our Germans have, so to speak, married in our family, and we must stand by ’em.” Peter was voicing his unrest. Polly saw the trouble in his face.
“Of course, brother, and I only meant that lately so many things are stirring in the Forest that it seems more like the Forest wasn’t a scrap set off by itself. I seem to have lots of scraps floating in my mind lately––things I’ve heard, and all are taking on meaning now. I remember someone saying, I guess it was the Bishop, that in a drop of ocean water, there was all that went into the ocean’s making, except size. That didn’t mean anything until Brace set me to––to turning over in my mind, and, Peter, it seems terrible sensible now.109All the big, big world is just little scraps of King’s Forests welded all together and every King’s Forest is a drop of the world.”
Peter looked gravely troubled as men often do when their women take to thinking on their own lines. Usually the heedless man dismisses the matter with but small respect, but Peter was not that kind. All his life he had depended upon his sister’s “vision” as he called it. He might laugh and tease her, but he never took a definite step without reaching out to her.
“A man must plant his foot solid on the path he knows,” he often said, “but that don’t hinder him from lifting his eyes to the sky.” And it was through Aunt Polly’s eyes that Peter caught his view of skies.
“I don’t exactly like Brace digging down into things so much.” Peter gave a troubled sigh. “Some things ain’t any use when they are dug up.”
“But some thingsare, brother. We must know.”
“Well, by gosh!” Peter began to sway toward the door like a heavily freighted side-wheeler. “I get to feeling sometimes as if I’d kicked over a hornet’s nest and wasn’t certain whether it was a last year’s one or this year’s. In one case you can hold your ground, in the other you best take to your heels. Well, I’m going to leave you, Polly, for your date with your young man. Don’t forget the fire and don’t set up too long.”
Left to herself, Polly neatly folded her knitting and stuck the glistening needles through it. She folded her small, shrivelled hands and a radiant smile touched her old face.
Oh! the luxury ofdaringto sit up for a man. The excitement of the adventure! And while she waited and brooded, Polly was thinking as she had never done until recently. All her life she believed that she had thought, and to suddenly find, as she had lately, that her conclusions were either wrong or confused made her humble.
Now there was Mary-Clare! Why, from her birth, Mary-Clare had been an open book! Poor Polly shook her head. An open book? Well, if so she did not know the language110in which that book was written, for Mary-Clare was troubling her now deeply.
And Larry? Larry had suddenly come into focus, and Maclin, and Northrup. They all seemed reeling around her; all united, but in deadly peril of being flung apart.
It was all too much for Aunt Polly and she unrolled her knitting and set the needles to their accustomed task. Eventually Mary-Clare would come to the inn and simply tell her story––full well Polly knew that. It was Mary-Clare’s way to keep silent until necessity for silence was past and then calmly take those she loved into her confidence. But there were disturbing things going on. Aunt Polly could not blind herself to them.
At this moment Northrup’s step sounded outside. He came hastily, but making little noise.
“What’s up?” he asked, starting back at the sight of Aunt Polly.
“Just me, son. Your dinner is scorched to nothing, but I wanted to tell you where the cookie jar is.”
Northrup came over to the sofa and sat down.
“You deep and opaque female,” he said, throwing his arm over the little bent shoulders. “Own up. It isn’t cookies, it’s a switch. What have I done? Out with it.”
Aunt Polly laughed softly.
“It’s neither cookies nor switches when you come down to it,” she chuckled. “It’s just waiting and not knowing why.”
Northrup leaned back against the sofa and said quietly:
“Guessing about me, Aunt Polly?”
“Guessing about everything, son. Just when I thought I was nearing port, where I ought to be at my age, I find myself all at sea.”
“Same with me, Aunt Polly. We’re part of the whole upheaval, and take it from me, some of us are going to find ourselves high and dry by and by and some of us will go under. We don’t understand it; we can’t; but we’ve got to try to––and that’s the very devil. Aunt Polly, I’ve been on the Point, talking to some of the folks down there––there is a111fellow called Twombley, odd cuss. He told me he’s tried to earn his living, but found people too particular.”
“Earn his living, huh!” Polly tried to look indignant. “He’s a scamp, and old Doctor Rivers was the ruination of him. The old doctor used to quote Scripture in a scandalous way. He said since we have the poor always with us, it is up to us to have a place for them where they can be comfortable. Terrible doctrine, I say, but that was what the old doctor kept the Point for and it was after Twombley tried to earn his living––the scamp!” Northrup saw that he had diverted Aunt Polly and gladly let her talk on.
“Doctor had an old horse as was just pleading to be put an end to, but the doctor couldn’t make his mind up to it and Twombley finally undertook to settle the matter with a shot-gun, up back in the hills. Twombley never missed the bull’s-eye––a terrible hand with a gun he was. The doctor gave him two dollars for the job and looked real sick the day he heard that shot. Well, less than a week after Twombley came to the doctor and says as how he heard that a horse has to be buried and that if it isn’t the owner gets fined twenty-five dollars, and he says he’ll bury the carcass for five dollars. He explained how the horse, lying flat, was powerful sizable, and it would be a stern job to get it under ground. Well, old doctor gave the five dollars and Twombley took to the woods.
“It was a matter of a month, maybe, when Twombley came back, and soon after old Philander Sniff appeared with a horse and cart, and Doctor Rivers, as soon as he set his eyes on the horse, sent for Twombley. Do you know, son, that scamp actually figured it out with the doctor as to the cost of food and care he’d been put to in order to get that shot-and-buried-horse into shape for selling! He’d sold him for ten dollars and expenses were twelve.”
Northrup leaned back and laughed until the quiet house reëchoed with his mirth.
“Son, son!” cautioned Polly, shaking and dim-eyed, “it’s going on to midnight. We can’t carouse like this. But land! it is uplifting to have a talk when you ought to be112sleeping. Well, the old doctor bought the Point just then and bought Twombley a new gun. Folks as couldn’t earn their keep proper naturally drifted to the Point––God’s living acre, as the doctor called it.”
Northrup rose and stretched his arms and then bent, as Peter had done, to Aunt Polly. But unlike Peter he kissed the small yearning face upraised to his.
“It must be pleasant––being your mother,” Polly whispered.
“It’s pleasant having you acting as substitute,” Northrup replied. “Shall I bank the fire, Aunt Polly?”
“No, son, there’s something else I must see to before I turn in. Aren’t you going for the cookies?”
“Yes’m. Going to munch them in bed.” And tiptoeing away in the most orthodox manner Northrup left Aunt Polly alone.
Why was she staying up? She had no clear idea but she was restless, sleepless, and bed, to her, was no comfort under such conditions. However, since she had stated that she had something to do, she must find it. She went to a desk in the farther end of the room, and took from it her house-keeping book. She would balance that and surprise Peter! Peter alwayswasso surprised when she did. She bought the book to her nest on the sofa and set to work.
Debit and credit. Figures, figures, figures. And then, mistily, words took their places. Names.
Mary-Clare: Larry.
Larry: Northrup.
Mary-Clare! It was funny. The columns danced and giddily wobbled––and at the foot there was only––Mary-Clare! Mary-Clare was troubling the dear old soul.
Then, startled by the falling of the book to the floor, Aunt Polly opened her eyes and gazed into the face of Mary-Clare standing before her!
The girl had a wind-swept look, physically and spiritually. Her hair was loose about her face, her eyes like stars, and she was smiling.
“Oh! you dear thing,” she whispered, bending to recover113the book, “adding and subtracting when the whole world sleeps. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to have the night to yourself?”
Mary-Clare crouched down before the red blazing logs; her coat and hat fell from her and she stretched her hands out to the heat with a little shiver of luxurious content.
Aunt Polly knew the girl’s mood and left her to herself. She had come to tell something but must tell it in her own way. To question, to intrude a thought, would only tend to confuse and distract her, so Polly took up her knitting and nodded cheerfully. She had a feeling that all along she had been waiting for Mary-Clare.
“I suppose big things like being born and dying are very simple when they come. It is the mistaking the big and little things that makes us all so uncertain. Aunt Polly, Larry has left me.” The start had been made!
“Yes; Peneluna told us. He hasn’t gone far.” Aunt Polly knitted on while Mary-Clare gave a little laugh.
“Oh! dearie, he was far, far away before he started for the Point. Land doesn’t count––it’s more than that, only I did not know. Isn’t it queer, Aunt Polly, now that I understand things, I find that marrying Larry and having the babies haven’t touched me at all––I never belonged to them or they to me––except Noreen. And it’s queer about Noreen, too, she will never seem part of all that.”
Mary-Clare, her eyes fixed on the fire, was thinking aloud; her breath came short and quick as if she had been running.
“My dear child!” Aunt Polly was shocked in spite of herself. “No woman can shake off her responsibilities in that way. Larry is your husband and you have been a mother.”
“You are talkingwords, Aunt Polly, not things.” Aunt Polly knew that shewasand it made her wince.
“That’s the trouble with us all, Aunt Polly. Saying words over and over and calling them things––as if you could take God in!”
There was no bitterness in the tones, but there was the weary impatience of a child that had been too often denied the truth.
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“No matter what people say and say, underneath there istruth, Aunt Polly, and it’s up to us to find it.”
“And you think you are competent”––Aunt Polly, reflecting that she was usingwords, used them doubtfully––“you think you are competent to know whatistruth and to act upon it––to the extent of sending your husband out of his home?”
If a small love-bird could look and sound fierce it would resemble Aunt Polly at that moment. Mary-Clare turned from the contemplation of the fire and fixed her deep eyes upon the troubled old face.
“You dear!” she whispered and then laughed.
Presently, the fire again holding her, Mary-Clare went on:
“I think I must try to find truth with my woman-brain, Aunt Polly. That was what my doctor-daddy always insisted upon. He wouldn’t even let me takehisword when it came to anything that meant a lot to me.”
“He wanted you to marry Larry!”
This was a telling stroke and a long silence followed. Then:
“I wonder, Aunt Polly, I wonder.”
“Do you doubt, child?”
“I don’t know, but even if he did he was sick and so––so tired, and Larry always worried him. I know very surely that if my doctor were here, and knew everything, he’d say harder than ever: ‘Use your woman-mind.’ And I’m going to! Why, Aunt Polly, I haven’t driven Larry away from his home. I meant to make it a better place, once I set the wrong aside. But you see, he wanted it justhisway and nothing else would do.”
The dear old face that had confronted life vicariously flushed gently; but the young face that had set itself to the stern facts of life showed neither weakness nor doubt.
“It has come to me, dear”––Mary-Clare now turned and came close to Aunt Polly, resting her folded arms on the thin little knees––“It has come to me, dear, that things are not fixed right and when they are not, it won’t do any good to keep on acting as if they were. Being married to115Larry could never make it right for me to do what seems to me wrong. And oh! Aunt Polly, I wish that I could make you understand. Do try to understand, dear, there is a sacred place in my soul, and I just do believe it is in all women’s souls if they dared to say so––that no one, not even a husband, has a right to claim. It is hers and––God’s. But men don’t know, and some don’t care––and they just rush along and take and take, never counting what it may cost––and they make laws to help them when they might fail without, and––well, Aunt Polly, it is hard to stand all alone in the world. I think the really happy women are those who don’t know what I mean, or those that have loved enough, loved a man true enough––to share that sacred place with him––the place he ought not ask for or have a law for. I know you do not understand, Aunt Polly. I did not myself until Peneluna told me.”
At this Aunt Polly braced against the pillows as if they were rocks.
“Peneluna!” she gasped.
“Let me tell you, Aunt Polly. It is such a wonderful thing.”
As she might have spoken to Noreen, so Mary-Clare spoke now to the woman who had only viewed life as Moses had the Promised Land, from her high mount.
“And so, can you not see, dear Aunt Polly, it isn’t a thing that laws can touch; it isn’t being good or bad––it is too big a Thing to call by name. Peneluna could starve and still keep it. She could be lonely and serve, but sheknew. I don’t love Larry, I cannot help it. All my life I am going to keep all of the promise I can, Aunt Polly, but I’m going to––to keep myself, too! A woman can give a man a good deal––but she can’t give him some things if she tries to! Look at the women; some of them in the Forest. Aunt Polly, if marriage means what they look like–––” Mary-Clare shuddered.
Aunt Polly had suddenly grown tender and far-seeing. She let go the sounding words that Church and State had taught her.
“Little girl,” she said, and all her motherhood rushed116forward to seize, as it had ever done, those “scraps” of others’ lives, “suppose the time should come when there would be in your life another––someone besides Larry? Why has all this come so sudden to you?”
Northrup seemed to loom in the room, just beyond the fire’s glow. Her fear was taking shape.
“Oh! dearie, I might then ask Larry to release me from my promise. My doctor used to say one could do that, but if he would not, why, then––I’d keep my bargain as far as I could. But–––” and here Mary-Clare rose and flung her arms above her head. The action was jubilant, majestic. “Oh! the wonder of it all; to be free to be myself and prove what Ithinkis right without having to take another’s idea of it. I’ll listen; I’ll try to understand and be patient––but it cannot be wrong, Aunt Polly, the thing I’ve done––since this great feeling of wings has come to me instead of heavy feet! Why, dear, I want something more than––than the things womenthinkare theirs. We don’t know what is ours until we try.”
“And fail, my child?” Aunt Polly was crying.
“Yes; and fail sometimes and be hurt––but paying and going on.”
“And leaving your man behind you?”
“Aunt Polly”––Mary-Clare looked down upon the kind, quivering face––“a woman’s man cannot be left behind. He’ll be beside her somehow. If she stays back, as I’ve tried to do, she wouldn’t be his woman! That’s the dreadful trouble with Larry and me. But, dearie, it isn’t always a man in a woman’s life.”
“But the long, lonely way, child!” Polly was retracing her own denied womanhood.
“It need not be lonely, dear, when we women find––other things. They will count. They must.”
“What other things, Mary-Clare?”
“That’s what we must be finding out, dear. Love; the man: some day they will be the glory, making everything more splendid, but not––the all. I think I should have died, Aunt Polly, had I kept on.”
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Like an inspired young oracle, Mary-Clare spoke and then dropped again by the fire.
“I’ve somehow learned all this,” she whispered, “in my Place up on the hill. It just came to me, little by little, until it convinced me. I had to tell Larry the truth.”
“Mary-Clare, I do not know; I don’t feel able to put it into words, but I do believe you’re going to make sad trouble for yourself, child. Such a thing as this you have done has never been done before in the Forest.”
“Maybe.”
A door upstairs slammed loudly and both women started nervously.
“I must tell Peter to fix the latch of the attic door to-morrow,” Aunt Polly said, relieved to be back on good, plain, solid ground. “The attic winders are raised and the wind’s rising. It will be slam, slam all night, unless–––” she rose quickly.
“Just a minute, Aunt Polly, I’m so tired. Please let me lie here on the couch and rest for an hour and then I’ll slip home.”
“Let me put you to bed properly, child. You look suddenly beat flat. That’s the way with women. They get to thinking they’ve got wings when they ain’t, child, they ain’t. You’re making a terrible break in your life, child. Terrible.”
Mary-Clare was arranging the couch.
“Come, dear,” she wheedled, “you tuck me up––so! I’ll bank the fire when I go and leave everything safe. A little rest and then to-morrow!––well, you’ll see that I have wings, Aunt Polly; they are only tired now––for they are new wings! I know that it must seem all madness, but it had to come.”
Aunt Polly pulled the soft covering over the huddled form––only the pale, wistful face was presently to be seen; the great, haunting eyes made Aunt Polly catch her breath. She bent and kissed the forehead.
“Poor, reaching-out child!” she whispered.
“For something that isthere, Aunt Polly.”
“God knows!”
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“Of course He does. That’s why He gave us the––reach. Good-night. Oh! how I love you, Aunt Polly. Good-night!”
It was Northrup’s door that had slammed shut. Aunt Polly went above, secured the innocent attic door, and then pattered down to her bedroom near Peter’s, feeling that her house, at least, was safe.
It was silent at last. Northrup, in his dark chamber, lay awake and––ashamed, though heaven was his witness that his sin was not one he had planned. Aunt Polly had been on his mind. He hated to have her down there alone. Her sitting up for him had touched and––disturbed him; he had left his door ajar.
“I’ll listen for a few minutes and if she doesn’t go to bed, I’ll go down and shake her,” he concluded, and then promptly went to sleep and was awakened by voices. Low, earnest voices, but he heard no words and was sleepily confused. If he thought anything, he thought Peter had been doing what was needed to be done––driving Polly to bed!
And then Northrupdidhear words. A word here; a word there. Heknewthings he had no right to know––he was awake at last, conscientiously, as well as physically. He got up and slammed the door!
But he could not go to sleep. He felt hot and cold; mean and indignant––but above all else, tremendously excited. He lay still a little longer and then opened his door in time to hear that “good-night, good-night”; and presently Aunt Polly’s raid on the unoffending attic door at the other end of the corridor and her pattering feet on their way, at last, to her bedchamber.
“She’s forgot to bank the fire.” Northrup could see the glow from his post and remembered Uncle Peter’s carefulness. “I’ll run down and make things safe and lock the door.” Northrup still held his respect for doors.
In heavy gown and soft slippers he noiselessly descended. The living-room at the far end was dark; the fire glowed at the other, dangerously, and one threatening log had rolled menacingly to the fore.
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Bent upon quick action Northrup silently crossed the floor, grasped the long poker and pushed the blazing wood back past the safety line and held it there.
His face burned, but there was a hypnotic lure in that bed of red coals. All that he had just heard––a disjointed and rather dramatic revealment––was having a peculiar effect upon him. He had become aware of some important facts that accounted for things, such as Rivers’s appearance on the Point. He had attributed that advent to Maclin’s secret business; but it was, evidently, quite different.
What had occurred in the yellow house before the final break? Northrup’s imagination came to the fore fully equipped. Northrup was a man of the herd––at least he had been, until lately. He knew the tracks of the herd and its laws and codes.
“The brute!” he muttered under his breath; “and that kind of a girl, too. Nothing is too fine for some devils to appropriate and––smirch. Poor little girl!”
And then Northrup recalled Mary-Clare as he had seen her that day as she emerged from the woods to meet him and her child. The glory of Peneluna’s story was in her soul, the autumn sunlight on her face. That lovely, smiling, untouched face of hers! Again and again that memory of her held his fancy.
“The cursed brute––hasn’tgother, thank God. She’s out of the trap.”
And, all unconsciously, while this moral indignation had its way, Northrup was drawing nearer to Mary-Clare; understanding her, appropriating her! God knew he meant no wrong. After all she had suffered he wasn’t going to mess her life more––but he’d somehow make up to her what she’d a perfect right to. All men were not low and bestial. He had a duty––he would be above the touch of idle chatter; he would take a hand in the game!
And just then Northrup, controlled by the force of attraction, turned his head and looked at the face of Mary-Clare upon the couch near him!
In all his life Northrup had never looked upon the face of120a sleeping woman, and it stirred him deeply. He became as rigid as marble; the heat beat upon him as it might have upon stone. And then––as such wild things do occur, his old, familiar dream came to him; he seemedinthe dream. He had at last opened one of those closed doors and was seeing what the secret room held! He was part of the dream as he was of his book in the making.
He breathed lightly; he did not move––but he was overcome by waves of emotion that had never before even lapped his feet.
At that instant Mary-Clare’s eyes opened. For a moment they held his; then she turned, sighed, and he believed that she had not really awakened.
Northrup rose stiffly and made his way to his room.
“She was asleep!” he fiercely thought until he was safe behind his locked door!
“Was she?” He had to face that in the silence of the hours after. “I’ll know when I next meet her.” This was almost a groan.
121CHAPTER IX
Kathryn Morris, as the days of Northrup’s absence stretched into weeks, grew more and more restless. She began to do some serious thinking, and while this developed her mentally, the growing pains hurt and she became twisted.
Heretofore she had been borne along on a peaceful current. She was young and pretty and believed that everyone saw her as she wanted them to see her––a charming, an unusually charming girl.
People had always responded to her slightest whim, but suddenly her own particular quarry had eluded her; did not even pine for her; was able to keep silent while he left her and his mother to think what they chose.
At this moment Kathryn placed herself beside Helen Northrup as a timid débutante shrinks beside her chaperon.
“And that old beast”––Kathryn in the privacy of her bedchamber could speak quite openly to herself––“that old beast, Doctor Manly, suggested that at forty I might be fat if–––” Well, it didn’t matter about the “if.” Kathryn did a bit of mental arithmetic, using her fingers to aid her. What was the difference between twenty-four and forty? The difference seemed terrifyinglylittle. “A fat forty! Oh, good Lord!”
Kathryn was in bed and it was nine-thirty in the morning! She sprang out and looked at herself in the mirror.
“Well, my body hasn’t found it out yet!” she whispered, and her pretty white teeth showed complacently.
Then she sat down in a deep chair and took account of stock. That “fat-forty” was a mere panic. She would not think of it––but it loomed, nevertheless.