EnterMirabel, Pinac, Belleur.
Mir.Ne'rtell me of this happiness, 'tis nothing;The state they bring with being sought to scurvey,I had rather make mine own play, and I will do.My happiness is in mine own content,And the despising of such glorious trifles,As I have done a thousand more. For my humour,Give me a good free fellow, that sticks to me,A jovial fair Companion; there's a Beauty:For women, I can have too many of them;Good women too, as the Age reckons 'em,More than I have employment for.Pin.You are happy.Mir.My only fear is, that I must be forcedAgainst my nature, to conceal my self.Health, and an able Body are two jewels.Pi.If either of these two women were offered to me now,I would think otherwise, and do accordingly:Yes, and recant my heresies, I would fain, Sir;And be more tender of opinion,And put a little off my travel'd libertyOut of the way, and look upon 'em seriously.Methinks this grave carried wench.Bel.Methinks the other,The home-spoken Gentlewoman, that desires to be fruitful,That treats of the full manage of the matter,For there lies all my aim; that wench, methinksIf I were but well set on; for she is a fable,If I were but hounded right, and one to teach me:She speaks to th' matter, and comes home to th' point:Now do I know I have such a body to please her,As all the Kingdom cannot fit her with, I am sure on't,If I could but talk my self into her favour.Mir.That's easily done.Bel.That's easily said, would 'twere done;You should see then how I would lay about me;If I were vertuous, it would never grieve me,Or any thing that might justifie my modesty,But when my nature is prone to do a charitie,And my calfs-tongue will not help me.Mir.Will ye go to 'em?They cannot but take it courteously.Pi.I'le do my part,Though I am sure 'twill be the hardest I e're plaid yet,A way I never try'd too, which will stagger me,And if it do not shame me, I am happy.Mir.Win 'em, and wear 'em, I give up my interest.Pi.What say ye,Monsieur Bellure?Bel.Would I could say,Or sing, or any thing that were but handsom,I would be with her presently.Pi.Yours is no venture;A merry ready wench.Bel.A vengeance squibber;She'l fleer me out of faith too.Mir.I'le be near thee;Pluck up thy heart, I'le second thee at all brunts;Be angry if she abuse thee, and beat her a little,Some women are won that way.Bel.Pray be quiet,And let me think: I am resolv'd to go on;But how I shall get off again—Mir.I am perswadedThou wilt so please her, she will go near to ravish thee.Bel.I would 'twere come to that once: let me pray a little.Mir.Now for thine honourPinac; board me this modesty,Warm but this frozen snow-ball, 'twill be a conquest(Although I know thou art a fortunate Wencher,And hast done rarely in thy daies) above all thy ventures.Bel.You will be ever near?Mir.At all necessities,And take thee off, and set thee on again, Boy;And cherish thee, and stroak thee.Bel.Help me out too?For I know I shall stick i'th' mire: if ye see us close once,Be gone, and leave me to my fortune, suddenly,For I am then determin'd to do wonders.Farewel, and fling an old shooe: how my heart throbs!Would I were drunk: FarewelPinac; Heaven send usA joyfull and a merry meeting, man.Pi.Farewel,And chear thy heart up; and rememberBellureThey are but women.Bel.I had rather they were Lyons.[Exeunt.Mir.About it; I'le be with you instantly.
Mir.Ne'rtell me of this happiness, 'tis nothing;The state they bring with being sought to scurvey,I had rather make mine own play, and I will do.My happiness is in mine own content,And the despising of such glorious trifles,As I have done a thousand more. For my humour,Give me a good free fellow, that sticks to me,A jovial fair Companion; there's a Beauty:For women, I can have too many of them;Good women too, as the Age reckons 'em,More than I have employment for.
Pin.You are happy.
Mir.My only fear is, that I must be forcedAgainst my nature, to conceal my self.Health, and an able Body are two jewels.
Pi.If either of these two women were offered to me now,I would think otherwise, and do accordingly:Yes, and recant my heresies, I would fain, Sir;And be more tender of opinion,And put a little off my travel'd libertyOut of the way, and look upon 'em seriously.Methinks this grave carried wench.
Bel.Methinks the other,The home-spoken Gentlewoman, that desires to be fruitful,That treats of the full manage of the matter,For there lies all my aim; that wench, methinksIf I were but well set on; for she is a fable,If I were but hounded right, and one to teach me:She speaks to th' matter, and comes home to th' point:Now do I know I have such a body to please her,As all the Kingdom cannot fit her with, I am sure on't,If I could but talk my self into her favour.
Mir.That's easily done.
Bel.That's easily said, would 'twere done;You should see then how I would lay about me;If I were vertuous, it would never grieve me,Or any thing that might justifie my modesty,But when my nature is prone to do a charitie,And my calfs-tongue will not help me.
Mir.Will ye go to 'em?They cannot but take it courteously.
Pi.I'le do my part,Though I am sure 'twill be the hardest I e're plaid yet,A way I never try'd too, which will stagger me,And if it do not shame me, I am happy.
Mir.Win 'em, and wear 'em, I give up my interest.
Pi.What say ye,Monsieur Bellure?
Bel.Would I could say,Or sing, or any thing that were but handsom,I would be with her presently.
Pi.Yours is no venture;A merry ready wench.
Bel.A vengeance squibber;She'l fleer me out of faith too.
Mir.I'le be near thee;Pluck up thy heart, I'le second thee at all brunts;Be angry if she abuse thee, and beat her a little,Some women are won that way.
Bel.Pray be quiet,And let me think: I am resolv'd to go on;But how I shall get off again—
Mir.I am perswadedThou wilt so please her, she will go near to ravish thee.
Bel.I would 'twere come to that once: let me pray a little.
Mir.Now for thine honourPinac; board me this modesty,Warm but this frozen snow-ball, 'twill be a conquest(Although I know thou art a fortunate Wencher,And hast done rarely in thy daies) above all thy ventures.
Bel.You will be ever near?
Mir.At all necessities,And take thee off, and set thee on again, Boy;And cherish thee, and stroak thee.
Bel.Help me out too?For I know I shall stick i'th' mire: if ye see us close once,Be gone, and leave me to my fortune, suddenly,For I am then determin'd to do wonders.Farewel, and fling an old shooe: how my heart throbs!Would I were drunk: FarewelPinac; Heaven send usA joyfull and a merry meeting, man.
Pi.Farewel,And chear thy heart up; and rememberBellureThey are but women.
Bel.I had rather they were Lyons.[Exeunt.
Mir.About it; I'le be with you instantly.
EnterOriana.
Shall I ne'r be at rest? no peace of conscience?No quiet for these creatures? Am I ordain'dTo be devour'd quick by these she-Canibals?Here's another they call handsom, I care not for her,I ne'r look after her: when I am half tipledIt may be I should turn her, and peruse her,Or in my want of women, I might call for her;But to be haunted when I have no fancie,No maw to th' matter—Now, why do you follow me?Ori.I hope, Sir, 'tis no blemish to my vertue,Nor need you (out of scruple) ask that question,If you remember ye, before your TravelThe contract you ty'd to me: 'tis my love, Sir,That makes me seek ye, to confirm your memory,And that being fair and good, I cannot suffer:I come to give ye thanks too.Mir.For what 'prethee?Ori.For that fair piece of honesty ye shew'd, Sir,That constant nobleness.Mir.How? for I am short headed.Ori.I'le tell ye then; for refusing that free offerOfMonsieur Natolets; those handsom Beauties,Those two prime Ladies, that might well have prest ye,If not to have broken, yet to have bow'd your promise,I know it was for my sake, for your faith sake,You slipt 'em off: your honesty compell'd ye.And let me tell ye, Sir, it shew'd most handsomly.Mir.And let me tell thee, there was no such matter:Nothing intended that way of that nature;I have more to do with my honesty than to fool it,Or venture it in such leak barks as women;I put 'em off, because I lov'd 'em not,Because they are too queazie for my temper,And not for thy sake, nor the Contract sake,Nor vows, nor oaths; I have made a thousand of 'em,They are things indifferent, whether kept or broken;Meer venial slips, that grow not near the conscience;Nothing concerns those tender parts; they are trifles;For, as I think, there was never man yet hop'd forEither constancie, or secrecie, from a woman,Unless it were an Ass ordain'd for sufferance;Nor to contract with such can be a Tial;So let them know again; for 'tis a Justice,And a main point of civil policie,What e're we say or swear, they being Reprobates,Out of the state of faith, we are clear of all sides,And 'tis a curious blindness to believe us.Ori.You do not mean this sure?Mir.Yes sure, and certain,And hold it positively, as a Principle,As ye are strange things, and made of strange fires and fluxes,So we are allow'd as strange wayes to obtain ye,But not to hold; we are all created Errant.Ori.You told me other tales.Mir.I not deny it;I have tales of all sorts for all sorts of women,And protestations likewise of all sizes,As they have vanities to make us coxcombs;If I obtain a good turn, so it is,I am thankfull for it: if I be made an Ass,The mends are in mine own hands, or the Surgeons,And there's an end on't.Ori.Do not you love me then?Mir.As I love others, heartily I love thee,When I am high and lusty, I love thee cruelly:After I have made a plenteous meal, and satisfi'dMy senses with all delicates, come to me,And thou shalt see how I love thee.Ori.Will not you marry me?Mir.No, certain, no, for any thing I know yet;I must not lose my liberty, dear Lady,And like a wanton slave cry for more shackles.What should I marry for? Do I want any thing?Am I an inch the farther from my pleasure?Why should I be at charge to keep a wife of mine own,When other honest married men will ease me?And thank me too, and be beholding to me:Thou thinkst I am mad for a Maiden-head, thou art cozen'd;Or if I were addicted to that dietCan you tell me where I should have one? thou art eighteen now,And if thou hast thy Maiden-head yet extant,Sure 'tis as big as Cods-head: and those grave dishesI never love to deal withal: Do'st thou see this book here?Look over all these ranks; all these are women,Maids, and pretenders to Maiden-heads; these are my conquests,All these I swore to marry, as I swore to thee,With the same reservation, and most righteously,Which I need not have done neither; for alas they made no scruple,And I enjoy'd 'em at my will, and left 'em:Some of 'em are married since, and were as pure maids again,Nay o' my conscience better than they were bred for;The rest fine sober women.Ori.Are ye not asham'd, Sir?Mir.No by my troth, Sir; there's no shame belongs to it;I hold it as commendable to be wealthy in pleasure,As others do in rotten sheep, and pasture.
Shall I ne'r be at rest? no peace of conscience?No quiet for these creatures? Am I ordain'dTo be devour'd quick by these she-Canibals?Here's another they call handsom, I care not for her,I ne'r look after her: when I am half tipledIt may be I should turn her, and peruse her,Or in my want of women, I might call for her;But to be haunted when I have no fancie,No maw to th' matter—Now, why do you follow me?
Ori.I hope, Sir, 'tis no blemish to my vertue,Nor need you (out of scruple) ask that question,If you remember ye, before your TravelThe contract you ty'd to me: 'tis my love, Sir,That makes me seek ye, to confirm your memory,And that being fair and good, I cannot suffer:I come to give ye thanks too.
Mir.For what 'prethee?
Ori.For that fair piece of honesty ye shew'd, Sir,That constant nobleness.
Mir.How? for I am short headed.
Ori.I'le tell ye then; for refusing that free offerOfMonsieur Natolets; those handsom Beauties,Those two prime Ladies, that might well have prest ye,If not to have broken, yet to have bow'd your promise,I know it was for my sake, for your faith sake,You slipt 'em off: your honesty compell'd ye.And let me tell ye, Sir, it shew'd most handsomly.
Mir.And let me tell thee, there was no such matter:Nothing intended that way of that nature;I have more to do with my honesty than to fool it,Or venture it in such leak barks as women;I put 'em off, because I lov'd 'em not,Because they are too queazie for my temper,And not for thy sake, nor the Contract sake,Nor vows, nor oaths; I have made a thousand of 'em,They are things indifferent, whether kept or broken;Meer venial slips, that grow not near the conscience;Nothing concerns those tender parts; they are trifles;For, as I think, there was never man yet hop'd forEither constancie, or secrecie, from a woman,Unless it were an Ass ordain'd for sufferance;Nor to contract with such can be a Tial;So let them know again; for 'tis a Justice,And a main point of civil policie,What e're we say or swear, they being Reprobates,Out of the state of faith, we are clear of all sides,And 'tis a curious blindness to believe us.
Ori.You do not mean this sure?
Mir.Yes sure, and certain,And hold it positively, as a Principle,As ye are strange things, and made of strange fires and fluxes,So we are allow'd as strange wayes to obtain ye,But not to hold; we are all created Errant.
Ori.You told me other tales.
Mir.I not deny it;I have tales of all sorts for all sorts of women,And protestations likewise of all sizes,As they have vanities to make us coxcombs;If I obtain a good turn, so it is,I am thankfull for it: if I be made an Ass,The mends are in mine own hands, or the Surgeons,And there's an end on't.
Ori.Do not you love me then?
Mir.As I love others, heartily I love thee,When I am high and lusty, I love thee cruelly:After I have made a plenteous meal, and satisfi'dMy senses with all delicates, come to me,And thou shalt see how I love thee.
Ori.Will not you marry me?
Mir.No, certain, no, for any thing I know yet;I must not lose my liberty, dear Lady,And like a wanton slave cry for more shackles.What should I marry for? Do I want any thing?Am I an inch the farther from my pleasure?Why should I be at charge to keep a wife of mine own,When other honest married men will ease me?And thank me too, and be beholding to me:Thou thinkst I am mad for a Maiden-head, thou art cozen'd;Or if I were addicted to that dietCan you tell me where I should have one? thou art eighteen now,And if thou hast thy Maiden-head yet extant,Sure 'tis as big as Cods-head: and those grave dishesI never love to deal withal: Do'st thou see this book here?Look over all these ranks; all these are women,Maids, and pretenders to Maiden-heads; these are my conquests,All these I swore to marry, as I swore to thee,With the same reservation, and most righteously,Which I need not have done neither; for alas they made no scruple,And I enjoy'd 'em at my will, and left 'em:Some of 'em are married since, and were as pure maids again,Nay o' my conscience better than they were bred for;The rest fine sober women.
Ori.Are ye not asham'd, Sir?
Mir.No by my troth, Sir; there's no shame belongs to it;I hold it as commendable to be wealthy in pleasure,As others do in rotten sheep, and pasture.
Enterde Gard.
Ori.Are all my hopes come to this? is there no faith?No troth? nor modesty in men?de [G]a.How now Sister,Why weeping thus? did I not prophesie?Come tell me why—Ori.I am not well; 'pray ye pardon me.[Exit.de Ga.Now MonsieurMirabel, what ails my Sister?You have been playing the wag with her.Mir.As I take it,She is crying for a cod-piece; is she gone?Lord, what an Age is this! I was calling for ye,For as I live I thought she would have ravish'd me.de Ga.Ye are merry Sir.Mir.Thou know'st this book,de Gard, this Inventory.de Ga.The debt-book of your Mistresses, I remember it.Mir.Why this was it that anger'd her; she was stark madShe found not her name here, and cry'd down-right,Because I would not pity her immediately,And put her in my list.de Ga.Sure she had more modesty.Mir.Their modesty is anger to be over-done;They'l quarrel sooner for precedence here,And take it in more dudgeon to be slighted,Than they will in publique meetings; 'tis their natures:And alas I have so many to dispatch yet,And to provide my self for my affairs too,That in good faith—de Gard.Be not too glorious foolish;Summe not your Travels up with vanities,It ill becomes your expectation:Temper your speech, Sir; whether your loose storyBe true, or false (for you are so free, I fear it)Name not my Sister in't; I must not hear it;Upon your danger name her not: I hold herA Gentlewoman of those happy parts and carriage,A good mans tongue may be right proud to speak her.Mir.Your Sister, Sir? d'ye blench at that? d'ye cavil?Do you hold her such a piece, she may not be play'd withal?I have had an hundred handsomer and nobler,Have su'd to me too for such a courtesie:Your Sister comes i'th' rear: since ye are so angry,And hold your Sister such a strong Recusant,I tell ye I may do it, and it may be will too,It may be have too, there's my free confession;Work upon that now.de Gard.If I thought ye had, I would work,And work such stubborn work, should make your heart ake;But I believe ye, as I ever knew ye,A glorious talker, and a Legend makerOf idle tales, and trifles; a depraverOf your own truth; their honours fly about ye;And so I take my leave, but with this caution,Your sword be surer than your tongue, you'l smart else.Mir.I laugh at thee, so little I respect thee;And I'le talk louder, and despise thy Sister;Set up a Chamber-maid that shall out-shine her,And carry her in my Coach too, and that will kill her.Go get thy Rents up, go.de Gard.Ye are a fine Gentleman.[Exit.Mir.Now have at my two youths, I'le see how they do,How they behave themselves, and then I'le studyWhat wench shall love me next, and when I'le lose her.
Ori.Are all my hopes come to this? is there no faith?No troth? nor modesty in men?
de [G]a.How now Sister,Why weeping thus? did I not prophesie?Come tell me why—
Ori.I am not well; 'pray ye pardon me.[Exit.
de Ga.Now MonsieurMirabel, what ails my Sister?You have been playing the wag with her.
Mir.As I take it,She is crying for a cod-piece; is she gone?Lord, what an Age is this! I was calling for ye,For as I live I thought she would have ravish'd me.
de Ga.Ye are merry Sir.
Mir.Thou know'st this book,de Gard, this Inventory.
de Ga.The debt-book of your Mistresses, I remember it.
Mir.Why this was it that anger'd her; she was stark madShe found not her name here, and cry'd down-right,Because I would not pity her immediately,And put her in my list.
de Ga.Sure she had more modesty.
Mir.Their modesty is anger to be over-done;They'l quarrel sooner for precedence here,And take it in more dudgeon to be slighted,Than they will in publique meetings; 'tis their natures:And alas I have so many to dispatch yet,And to provide my self for my affairs too,That in good faith—
de Gard.Be not too glorious foolish;Summe not your Travels up with vanities,It ill becomes your expectation:Temper your speech, Sir; whether your loose storyBe true, or false (for you are so free, I fear it)Name not my Sister in't; I must not hear it;Upon your danger name her not: I hold herA Gentlewoman of those happy parts and carriage,A good mans tongue may be right proud to speak her.
Mir.Your Sister, Sir? d'ye blench at that? d'ye cavil?Do you hold her such a piece, she may not be play'd withal?I have had an hundred handsomer and nobler,Have su'd to me too for such a courtesie:Your Sister comes i'th' rear: since ye are so angry,And hold your Sister such a strong Recusant,I tell ye I may do it, and it may be will too,It may be have too, there's my free confession;Work upon that now.
de Gard.If I thought ye had, I would work,And work such stubborn work, should make your heart ake;But I believe ye, as I ever knew ye,A glorious talker, and a Legend makerOf idle tales, and trifles; a depraverOf your own truth; their honours fly about ye;And so I take my leave, but with this caution,Your sword be surer than your tongue, you'l smart else.
Mir.I laugh at thee, so little I respect thee;And I'le talk louder, and despise thy Sister;Set up a Chamber-maid that shall out-shine her,And carry her in my Coach too, and that will kill her.Go get thy Rents up, go.
de Gard.Ye are a fine Gentleman.[Exit.
Mir.Now have at my two youths, I'le see how they do,How they behave themselves, and then I'le studyWhat wench shall love me next, and when I'le lose her.
[Exit.
EnterPinac,and a Servant.
Pinac.Art thou her servant, saist thou?Ser.Her poor creature,But servant to her horse, Sir.Pinac.Canst thou shew meThe way to her chamber? or where I may convenientlySee her, or come to talk to her?Ser.That I can, Sir;But the question is whether I will or no.Pinac.Why I'le content thee.Ser.Why I'le content thee then; now ye come to me.Pi.There's for your diligence.Ser.There's her chamber, Sir;And this way she comes out; stand ye but here, Sir,You have her at your prospect, or your pleasure.Pi.Is she not very angry?Ser.You'l find that quickly:May be she'll call ye sawcy scurvey fellow,Or some such familiar name: 'may be she knows ye,And will fling a Piss-pot at ye, or a Pantofle,According as ye are in acquaintance: if she like ye,'May be she'll look upon ye, 'may be no,And two moneths hence call for ye.Pinac.This is fine.She is monstrous proud then?Ser.She is a little haughtie;Of a small body, she has a mind well mounted.Can ye speak Greek?Pinac.No, certain.Ser.Get ye gone then;And talk of stars, and firmaments, and fire-drakes.Do you remember who wasAdamsSchool-master,And who taughtEveto spin? she knows all these,And will run ye over the beginning o'th' worldAs familiar as a Fidler.Can ye sit seven hours together, and say nothing?Which she will do, and when she speaks, speak Oracles;Speak things that no man understands, nor her self neither.Pi.Thou mak'st me wonder.Ser.Can ye smile?Pi.Yes willingly:For naturally I bear a mirth about me.Ser.She'l ne'r endure ye then; she is never merry;If she see one laugh, she'll swound pastAqua vitæ:Never come near her, Sir; if ye chance to venture,And talk not like a Doctor, you are damn'd too;I have told enough for your crown, and so good speed ye.[Ex.Pi.I have a pretty task, if she be thus curious,As sure it seems she is; if I fall off now,I shall be laugh'd at fearfully; if I go forward,I can but be abus'd, and that I look for,And yet I may hit right, but 'tis unlikely.Stay, in what mood and figure shall I attempt her?A careless way? no, no, that will not waken her;Besides, her gravity will give me line still,And let me lose my self; yet this way oftenHas hit, and handsomly. A wanton method?I, if she give it leave to sink into her consideration;But there's the doubt: if it but stir her blood once,And creep into the crannies of her phansie,Set her a gog: but if she chance to slight it,And by the pow'r of her modesty fling it back,I shall appear the arrantst Rascal to her,The most licentious knave, for I shall talk lewdly.To bear my self austerely? rate my words,And fling a general gravitie about me,As if I meant to give Laws? but this I cannot do,This is a way above my understanding;Or if I could, 'tis odds she'll think I mock her;For serious and sad things are ever still suspicious.Well, I'le say something.But learning I have none, and less good manners,Especially for Ladies; well, I'le set my best face;
Pinac.Art thou her servant, saist thou?
Ser.Her poor creature,But servant to her horse, Sir.
Pinac.Canst thou shew meThe way to her chamber? or where I may convenientlySee her, or come to talk to her?
Ser.That I can, Sir;But the question is whether I will or no.
Pinac.Why I'le content thee.
Ser.Why I'le content thee then; now ye come to me.
Pi.There's for your diligence.
Ser.There's her chamber, Sir;And this way she comes out; stand ye but here, Sir,You have her at your prospect, or your pleasure.
Pi.Is she not very angry?
Ser.You'l find that quickly:May be she'll call ye sawcy scurvey fellow,Or some such familiar name: 'may be she knows ye,And will fling a Piss-pot at ye, or a Pantofle,According as ye are in acquaintance: if she like ye,'May be she'll look upon ye, 'may be no,And two moneths hence call for ye.
Pinac.This is fine.She is monstrous proud then?
Ser.She is a little haughtie;Of a small body, she has a mind well mounted.Can ye speak Greek?
Pinac.No, certain.
Ser.Get ye gone then;And talk of stars, and firmaments, and fire-drakes.Do you remember who wasAdamsSchool-master,And who taughtEveto spin? she knows all these,And will run ye over the beginning o'th' worldAs familiar as a Fidler.Can ye sit seven hours together, and say nothing?Which she will do, and when she speaks, speak Oracles;Speak things that no man understands, nor her self neither.
Pi.Thou mak'st me wonder.
Ser.Can ye smile?
Pi.Yes willingly:For naturally I bear a mirth about me.
Ser.She'l ne'r endure ye then; she is never merry;If she see one laugh, she'll swound pastAqua vitæ:Never come near her, Sir; if ye chance to venture,And talk not like a Doctor, you are damn'd too;I have told enough for your crown, and so good speed ye.[Ex.
Pi.I have a pretty task, if she be thus curious,As sure it seems she is; if I fall off now,I shall be laugh'd at fearfully; if I go forward,I can but be abus'd, and that I look for,And yet I may hit right, but 'tis unlikely.Stay, in what mood and figure shall I attempt her?A careless way? no, no, that will not waken her;Besides, her gravity will give me line still,And let me lose my self; yet this way oftenHas hit, and handsomly. A wanton method?I, if she give it leave to sink into her consideration;But there's the doubt: if it but stir her blood once,And creep into the crannies of her phansie,Set her a gog: but if she chance to slight it,And by the pow'r of her modesty fling it back,I shall appear the arrantst Rascal to her,The most licentious knave, for I shall talk lewdly.To bear my self austerely? rate my words,And fling a general gravitie about me,As if I meant to give Laws? but this I cannot do,This is a way above my understanding;Or if I could, 'tis odds she'll think I mock her;For serious and sad things are ever still suspicious.Well, I'le say something.But learning I have none, and less good manners,Especially for Ladies; well, I'le set my best face;
EnterLilia, Petella.
I hear some coming; this is the first womanI ever fear'd yet, the first face that shakes me,Li.Give me my hatPetella, take this veil off,This sullen cloud, it darkens my delights;Come wench be free, and let the Musick warble,Play me some lusty measure.Pi.This is she sure,The very same I saw, the very woman,The Gravitie I wonder'd at: Stay, stay,Let me be sure; ne'r trust me, but she danceth,Summer is in her face now, and she skippeth:I'le go a little nearer.Li.Quicker time fellows,
I hear some coming; this is the first womanI ever fear'd yet, the first face that shakes me,
Li.Give me my hatPetella, take this veil off,This sullen cloud, it darkens my delights;Come wench be free, and let the Musick warble,Play me some lusty measure.
Pi.This is she sure,The very same I saw, the very woman,The Gravitie I wonder'd at: Stay, stay,Let me be sure; ne'r trust me, but she danceth,Summer is in her face now, and she skippeth:I'le go a little nearer.
Li.Quicker time fellows,
EnterMirabel.
I cannot find my legs yet, nowPetella.Pi.I am amaz'd, I am founder'd in my fancies.Mir.Hah, say ye so; is this your gravitie?This the austeritie ye put upon ye?I'le see more o' this sport.Lil.A Song now;Call in for a merry, and a light Song,And sing it with a liberal spirit.
I cannot find my legs yet, nowPetella.
Pi.I am amaz'd, I am founder'd in my fancies.
Mir.Hah, say ye so; is this your gravitie?This the austeritie ye put upon ye?I'le see more o' this sport.
Lil.A Song now;Call in for a merry, and a light Song,And sing it with a liberal spirit.
Enter a Man.
Man.Yes, Madam.Lil.And be not amaz'd Sirrah, but take us for your own company.Let's walk our selves: come wench, would we had a man or two.Pi.Sure she has spi'd me, and will abuse me dreadfully,She has put on this for the purpose; yet I will try her.Madam, I would be loth my rude intrusion,Which I must crave a pardon for—Lil.O ye are welcom,Ye are very welcom, Sir, we want such a one;Strike up again: I dare presume ye dance well:Quick, quick, Sir, quick, the time steals on.Pi.I would talk with ye.Lil.Talk as ye dance.Mir.She'l beat him off his legs first,This is the finest Masque.Lil.Now how do ye, Sir?Pi.You have given me a shrewd heat.Lil.I'le give ye a hundred.Come sing now, sing; for I know ye sing well,I see ye have a singing face.Pi.A fine Modesty!If I could, she'd never give me breath,Madam would I might sit and recover.Lil.Sit here, and sing now,Let's do things quickly, Sir, and handsomly,Sit close wench, close, begin, begin.[Song.Pi.I am lesson'd.Lil.'Tis very pretty i'faith, give me some wine now.Pi.I would fain speak to ye.Lil.You shall drink first, believe me:Here's to ye a lusty health.Pi.I thank ye Lady,Would I were off again; I smell my misery;I was never put to this rack; I shall be drunk too.Mir.If thou be'st not a right one, I have lost mine aim much:I thank Heaven that I have scap'd thee; To herPinac;For thou art as sure to have her, and to groan for her—I'le see how my other youth does; this speeds trimly:A fine grave Gentlewoman, and worth much honour.[Exit.Lil.Now? how do ye like me, Sir?Pi.I like ye rarely.Lil.Ye see, Sir, though sometimes we are grave and silent,And put on sadder dispositions,Yet we are compounded of free parts, and sometimes tooOur lighter, airie, and our fierie mettlesBreak out, and shew themselves; and what think you of that Sir?Pi.Good Lady sit, for I am very weary;And then I'le tell ye.Lil.Fie, a young man idle?Up, and walk; be still in action.The motions of the body are fair beauties,Besides 'tis cold; ods-me Sir, let's walk faster,What think ye now of the LadyFelicia?AndBella-frontethe Dukes fair Daughter? ha?Are they not handsom things? there isDuarta,And brownOlivia.Pi.I know none of 'em.Lil.But brown must not be cast away, Sir; if youngLeliaHad kept her self till this day from a Husband,Why what a Beauty, Sir! you knowIsmenaThe fair Jem of SaintGermans?Pi.By my troth I do not.Lil.And then I know you must hear ofBrisac,How unlike a Gentleman—Pi.As I live I have heard nothing.Lil.Strike me another Galliard.Pi.By this light I cannot;In troth I have sprain'd my leg, Madam.Lil.Now sit ye down, Sir,And tell me why ye came hither, why ye chose me out?What is your business? your errant? dispatch, dispatch!'May be ye are some Gentlemans man, and I mistook ye,That have brought me a Letter, or a haunch of Venison,Sent me from some friend of mine.Pi.Do I look like a Carrier?You might allow me what I am, a Gentleman.Lil.Cry 'ye mercie, Sir, I saw ye yesterday,You are new come out of Travel, I mistook ye;And how do all our impudent friends inItalie?Pi.Madam, I came with duty, and fair courtesie,Service, and honour to ye.Lil.Ye came to jear me:Ye see I am merry, Sir, I have chang'd my copy:None of the Sages now, and 'pray ye proclaim it,Fling on me what aspersion you shall please, Sir,Of wantonness, or wildness, I look for it;And tell the world I am an hypocrite,Mask in a forc'd and borrow'd shape, I expect it;But not to have you believ'd; for mark ye, Sir,I have won a nobler estimation,A stronger tie by my discretionUpon opinion (how e're you think I forced it)Than either tongue or art of yours can slubber,And when I please I will be what I please, Sir,So I exceed not Mean; and none shall brand itEither with scorn or shame, but shall be slighted.Pi.Lady, I come to love ye.Lil.Love your self, Sir,And when I want observers, I'll send for ye:Heigh, ho; my fit's almost off, for we do all by fits, Sir:If ye be weary, sit till I come again to ye.[Exit.Pi.This is a wench of a dainty spirit; but hang me if I know yetEither what to think, or make of her; she had her will of me,And baited me abundantly, I thank her,And I confess I never was so blur[t]ed,Nor ever so abus'd; I must bear mine own sins;Ye talk of Travels, here's a curious Country,Yet I will find her out, or forswear my facultie.[Exit.
Man.Yes, Madam.
Lil.And be not amaz'd Sirrah, but take us for your own company.Let's walk our selves: come wench, would we had a man or two.
Pi.Sure she has spi'd me, and will abuse me dreadfully,She has put on this for the purpose; yet I will try her.Madam, I would be loth my rude intrusion,Which I must crave a pardon for—
Lil.O ye are welcom,Ye are very welcom, Sir, we want such a one;Strike up again: I dare presume ye dance well:Quick, quick, Sir, quick, the time steals on.
Pi.I would talk with ye.
Lil.Talk as ye dance.
Mir.She'l beat him off his legs first,This is the finest Masque.
Lil.Now how do ye, Sir?
Pi.You have given me a shrewd heat.
Lil.I'le give ye a hundred.Come sing now, sing; for I know ye sing well,I see ye have a singing face.
Pi.A fine Modesty!If I could, she'd never give me breath,Madam would I might sit and recover.
Lil.Sit here, and sing now,Let's do things quickly, Sir, and handsomly,Sit close wench, close, begin, begin.[Song.
Pi.I am lesson'd.
Lil.'Tis very pretty i'faith, give me some wine now.
Pi.I would fain speak to ye.
Lil.You shall drink first, believe me:Here's to ye a lusty health.
Pi.I thank ye Lady,Would I were off again; I smell my misery;I was never put to this rack; I shall be drunk too.
Mir.If thou be'st not a right one, I have lost mine aim much:I thank Heaven that I have scap'd thee; To herPinac;For thou art as sure to have her, and to groan for her—I'le see how my other youth does; this speeds trimly:A fine grave Gentlewoman, and worth much honour.[Exit.
Lil.Now? how do ye like me, Sir?
Pi.I like ye rarely.
Lil.Ye see, Sir, though sometimes we are grave and silent,And put on sadder dispositions,Yet we are compounded of free parts, and sometimes tooOur lighter, airie, and our fierie mettlesBreak out, and shew themselves; and what think you of that Sir?
Pi.Good Lady sit, for I am very weary;And then I'le tell ye.
Lil.Fie, a young man idle?Up, and walk; be still in action.The motions of the body are fair beauties,Besides 'tis cold; ods-me Sir, let's walk faster,What think ye now of the LadyFelicia?AndBella-frontethe Dukes fair Daughter? ha?Are they not handsom things? there isDuarta,And brownOlivia.
Pi.I know none of 'em.
Lil.But brown must not be cast away, Sir; if youngLeliaHad kept her self till this day from a Husband,Why what a Beauty, Sir! you knowIsmenaThe fair Jem of SaintGermans?
Pi.By my troth I do not.
Lil.And then I know you must hear ofBrisac,How unlike a Gentleman—
Pi.As I live I have heard nothing.
Lil.Strike me another Galliard.
Pi.By this light I cannot;In troth I have sprain'd my leg, Madam.
Lil.Now sit ye down, Sir,And tell me why ye came hither, why ye chose me out?What is your business? your errant? dispatch, dispatch!'May be ye are some Gentlemans man, and I mistook ye,That have brought me a Letter, or a haunch of Venison,Sent me from some friend of mine.
Pi.Do I look like a Carrier?You might allow me what I am, a Gentleman.
Lil.Cry 'ye mercie, Sir, I saw ye yesterday,You are new come out of Travel, I mistook ye;And how do all our impudent friends inItalie?
Pi.Madam, I came with duty, and fair courtesie,Service, and honour to ye.
Lil.Ye came to jear me:Ye see I am merry, Sir, I have chang'd my copy:None of the Sages now, and 'pray ye proclaim it,Fling on me what aspersion you shall please, Sir,Of wantonness, or wildness, I look for it;And tell the world I am an hypocrite,Mask in a forc'd and borrow'd shape, I expect it;But not to have you believ'd; for mark ye, Sir,I have won a nobler estimation,A stronger tie by my discretionUpon opinion (how e're you think I forced it)Than either tongue or art of yours can slubber,And when I please I will be what I please, Sir,So I exceed not Mean; and none shall brand itEither with scorn or shame, but shall be slighted.
Pi.Lady, I come to love ye.
Lil.Love your self, Sir,And when I want observers, I'll send for ye:Heigh, ho; my fit's almost off, for we do all by fits, Sir:If ye be weary, sit till I come again to ye.[Exit.
Pi.This is a wench of a dainty spirit; but hang me if I know yetEither what to think, or make of her; she had her will of me,And baited me abundantly, I thank her,And I confess I never was so blur[t]ed,Nor ever so abus'd; I must bear mine own sins;Ye talk of Travels, here's a curious Country,Yet I will find her out, or forswear my facultie.[Exit.
EnterRosalura,andOriana.
Ros.Ne'r vex your self, nor grieve; ye are a fool then.Or.I am sure I am made so: yet before I sufferThus like a girl, and give him leave to triumph—Ros.You say right; for as long as he perceives yeSink under his proud scornings, he'll laugh at ye:For me secure your self; and for my Sister,I partly know her mind too: howsoeverTo obey my Father we have made a tenderOf our poor beauties to the travel'dMonsieur;Yet two words to a bargain; he slights usAs skittish things, and we shun him as curious.May be my free behaviour turns his stomach,And makes him seem to doubt a loose opinion.I must be so sometimes, though all the world saw it.Ori.Why should not ye? Are our minds only measur'd?As long as here ye stand secure.Ros.Ye say true;As long as mine own Conscience makes no question,What care I for Report? That Woman's miserableThat's good or bad for their tongues sake: Come let's retire.And get my veil Wench: By my troth your sorrow,And the consideration of mens humorous maddings,Have put me into a serious contemplation.
Ros.Ne'r vex your self, nor grieve; ye are a fool then.
Or.I am sure I am made so: yet before I sufferThus like a girl, and give him leave to triumph—
Ros.You say right; for as long as he perceives yeSink under his proud scornings, he'll laugh at ye:For me secure your self; and for my Sister,I partly know her mind too: howsoeverTo obey my Father we have made a tenderOf our poor beauties to the travel'dMonsieur;Yet two words to a bargain; he slights usAs skittish things, and we shun him as curious.May be my free behaviour turns his stomach,And makes him seem to doubt a loose opinion.I must be so sometimes, though all the world saw it.
Ori.Why should not ye? Are our minds only measur'd?As long as here ye stand secure.
Ros.Ye say true;As long as mine own Conscience makes no question,What care I for Report? That Woman's miserableThat's good or bad for their tongues sake: Come let's retire.And get my veil Wench: By my troth your sorrow,And the consideration of mens humorous maddings,Have put me into a serious contemplation.
EnterMirabelandBelleur.
Oria.Come 'faith, let's sit, and think.Ros.That's all my business.Mir.Why standst thou peeping here? thou great slug, forward.Bel.She is there, peace.Mir.Why standst thou here then,Sneaking, and peaking, as thou would'[st] steal linnen?Hast thou not place and time?Bel.I had a rare speechStudied, and almost ready, and your violenceHas beat it out of my brains.Mir.Hang your rare speeches,Go me on like a man.Bel.Let me set my Beard up.How hasPinacperformed?Mir.He has won already:He stands not thrumming of caps thus.Bel.Lord, what should I ail?What a cold I have over my stomach; would I had some Hum.Certain I have a great mind to be at her:A mighty mind.Mir.On fool.Bel.Good words, I beseech ye;For I will not be abused by both.Mir.Adieu, then,I will not trouble you, I see you are valiant,And work your own way.Bel.Hist, hist, I will be rul'd,I will 'faith, I will go presently:Will ye forsake me now and leave me i'th' suds?You know I am false-hearted this way; I beseech ye,Good sweetMirabel; I'le cut your throat if ye leave me,Indeed I will sweet heart.Mir.I will be ready,Still at thine elbow; take a mans heart to thee,And speak thy mind: the plainer still the better.She is a woman of that free behaviour,Indeed that common courtesie, she cannot deny thee;Go bravely on.Bel.Madam—keep close about me,Still at my back. Madam, sweet Madam—Ros.Ha;What noise is that, what saucy sound to trouble me?Mir.What said she?Bel.I am saucy.Mir.'Tis the better.Bel.She comes; must I be saucy still?Mir.More saucy.Ros.Still troubled with these vanities? Heaven bless us;What are we born to? would ye speak with any of my people?Go in, Sir, I am busie.Bel.This is not she sure:Is this two Children at a Birth? I'le be hang'd then:Mine was a merry Gentlewoman, talkt daintily,Talkt of those matters that befitted women;This is a parcel-pray'r-book; I'm serv'd sweetly;And now I am to look too; I was prepar'd for th' other way.Ros.Do you know that man?Oria.Sure I have seen him, Lady.Ros.Methinks 'tis pity such a lusty fellowShould wander up and down and want employment.Bel.She takes me for a Rogue: you may do well, Madam,To stay this wanderer, and set him a work, forsooth,He can do something that may please your Ladiship.I have heard of Women that desire good breedings,Two at a birth, or so.Ros.The fellow's impudent.Oria.Sure he is crazed.Ros.I have heard of men too, that have had good manners;Sure this is want of grace; indeed 'tis great pityThe young man has been bred so ill; but this lewd AgeIs full of such examples.Bel.I am founder'd,And some shall rue the setting of me on.Mir.Ha? so bookish, Lady, is it possible?Turn'd holy at the heart too? I'le be hang'd then:Why this is such a feat, such an activity,Such fast and loose: a veyl too for your Knavery?O dio, dio!Ros.What do you take me for, Sir?Mir.An hypocrite, a wanton, a dissembler,How e're ye seem, and thus ye are to be handled.Mark meBelleur, and this you love, I know it.Ros.Stand off, bold Sir.Mir.You wear good Cloaths to this end,Jewels, love Feasts, and Masques.Ros.Ye are monstrous saucy.Mir.All this to draw on fools? and thus, thus Lady,Ye are to be lull'd.Bel.Let her alone, I'le swinge ye else,I will 'faith; for though I cannot skill o'this matterMy self, I will not see another do it before me,And do it worse.Ros.Away, ye are a vain thing;You have travell'd far, Sir, to return againA windy and poor Bladder: you talk of Women,That are not worth the favour of a common one;The grace of her grew in an Hospital:Against a thousand such blown fooleriesI am able to maintain good Womens honours,Their freedoms, and their fames, and I will do it.Mir.She has almost struck me dumb too.Ros.And declaimAgainst your base malicious tongues; your noises;For they are nothing else: You teach behaviours?Or touch us for our freedoms? teach your selves manners,Truth and sobriety, and live so clearlyThat our lives may shine in ye; and then task us:It seems ye are hot, the suburbs will supply ye.Good Women scorn such Gamesters; so I'le leave ye,I am sorry to see this: 'faith Sir, live fairly.[Exit.Mir.This woman, if she hold on, may be vertuous,'Tis almost possible: we'll have a new day.Bel.Ye brought me on, ye forced me to this foolery;I am asham'd, I am scorn'd, I am flurted; yes, I am so:Though I cannot talk to a woman like your worship,And use my phrases, and my learned figures,Yet I can fight with any man.Mir.Fie.Bel.I can, Sir,And I will fight.Mir.With whom?Bel.With you, with any man;For all men now will laugh at me.Mir.Prethee be moderate.Bel.And I'le beat all men. Come.Mir.I love thee dearly.Bel.I beat all that love, Love has undone me;Never tell me, I will not be a History.Mir.Thou art not.Bel.'Sfoot I will not; give me room,And let me see the proudest of ye jeer me,And I'le begin with you first.Mir.'PretheeBelleur;If I do not satisfie thee—Bel.Well, look ye do:But now I think on't better, 'tis impossible;I must beat some body, I am maul'd my self,And I ought in justice—Mir.No, no, no, ye are couzen'd;But walk, and let me talk to thee.Bel.Talk wisely,And see that no man laugh upon no occasion;For I shall think then 'tis at me.Mir.I warrant thee.Bel.Nor no more talk of this.Mir.Do'st think I am maddish?Bel.I must needs fight yet; for I find it concerns me,A pox on't, I must fight.Mir.'Faith thou shalt not.[Exeunt.
Oria.Come 'faith, let's sit, and think.
Ros.That's all my business.
Mir.Why standst thou peeping here? thou great slug, forward.
Bel.She is there, peace.
Mir.Why standst thou here then,Sneaking, and peaking, as thou would'[st] steal linnen?Hast thou not place and time?
Bel.I had a rare speechStudied, and almost ready, and your violenceHas beat it out of my brains.
Mir.Hang your rare speeches,Go me on like a man.
Bel.Let me set my Beard up.How hasPinacperformed?
Mir.He has won already:He stands not thrumming of caps thus.
Bel.Lord, what should I ail?What a cold I have over my stomach; would I had some Hum.Certain I have a great mind to be at her:A mighty mind.
Mir.On fool.
Bel.Good words, I beseech ye;For I will not be abused by both.
Mir.Adieu, then,I will not trouble you, I see you are valiant,And work your own way.
Bel.Hist, hist, I will be rul'd,I will 'faith, I will go presently:Will ye forsake me now and leave me i'th' suds?You know I am false-hearted this way; I beseech ye,Good sweetMirabel; I'le cut your throat if ye leave me,Indeed I will sweet heart.
Mir.I will be ready,Still at thine elbow; take a mans heart to thee,And speak thy mind: the plainer still the better.She is a woman of that free behaviour,Indeed that common courtesie, she cannot deny thee;Go bravely on.
Bel.Madam—keep close about me,Still at my back. Madam, sweet Madam—
Ros.Ha;What noise is that, what saucy sound to trouble me?
Mir.What said she?
Bel.I am saucy.
Mir.'Tis the better.
Bel.She comes; must I be saucy still?
Mir.More saucy.
Ros.Still troubled with these vanities? Heaven bless us;What are we born to? would ye speak with any of my people?Go in, Sir, I am busie.
Bel.This is not she sure:Is this two Children at a Birth? I'le be hang'd then:Mine was a merry Gentlewoman, talkt daintily,Talkt of those matters that befitted women;This is a parcel-pray'r-book; I'm serv'd sweetly;And now I am to look too; I was prepar'd for th' other way.
Ros.Do you know that man?
Oria.Sure I have seen him, Lady.
Ros.Methinks 'tis pity such a lusty fellowShould wander up and down and want employment.
Bel.She takes me for a Rogue: you may do well, Madam,To stay this wanderer, and set him a work, forsooth,He can do something that may please your Ladiship.I have heard of Women that desire good breedings,Two at a birth, or so.
Ros.The fellow's impudent.
Oria.Sure he is crazed.
Ros.I have heard of men too, that have had good manners;Sure this is want of grace; indeed 'tis great pityThe young man has been bred so ill; but this lewd AgeIs full of such examples.
Bel.I am founder'd,And some shall rue the setting of me on.
Mir.Ha? so bookish, Lady, is it possible?Turn'd holy at the heart too? I'le be hang'd then:Why this is such a feat, such an activity,Such fast and loose: a veyl too for your Knavery?O dio, dio!
Ros.What do you take me for, Sir?
Mir.An hypocrite, a wanton, a dissembler,How e're ye seem, and thus ye are to be handled.Mark meBelleur, and this you love, I know it.
Ros.Stand off, bold Sir.
Mir.You wear good Cloaths to this end,Jewels, love Feasts, and Masques.
Ros.Ye are monstrous saucy.
Mir.All this to draw on fools? and thus, thus Lady,Ye are to be lull'd.
Bel.Let her alone, I'le swinge ye else,I will 'faith; for though I cannot skill o'this matterMy self, I will not see another do it before me,And do it worse.
Ros.Away, ye are a vain thing;You have travell'd far, Sir, to return againA windy and poor Bladder: you talk of Women,That are not worth the favour of a common one;The grace of her grew in an Hospital:Against a thousand such blown fooleriesI am able to maintain good Womens honours,Their freedoms, and their fames, and I will do it.
Mir.She has almost struck me dumb too.
Ros.And declaimAgainst your base malicious tongues; your noises;For they are nothing else: You teach behaviours?Or touch us for our freedoms? teach your selves manners,Truth and sobriety, and live so clearlyThat our lives may shine in ye; and then task us:It seems ye are hot, the suburbs will supply ye.Good Women scorn such Gamesters; so I'le leave ye,I am sorry to see this: 'faith Sir, live fairly.[Exit.
Mir.This woman, if she hold on, may be vertuous,'Tis almost possible: we'll have a new day.
Bel.Ye brought me on, ye forced me to this foolery;I am asham'd, I am scorn'd, I am flurted; yes, I am so:Though I cannot talk to a woman like your worship,And use my phrases, and my learned figures,Yet I can fight with any man.
Mir.Fie.
Bel.I can, Sir,And I will fight.
Mir.With whom?
Bel.With you, with any man;For all men now will laugh at me.
Mir.Prethee be moderate.
Bel.And I'le beat all men. Come.
Mir.I love thee dearly.
Bel.I beat all that love, Love has undone me;Never tell me, I will not be a History.
Mir.Thou art not.
Bel.'Sfoot I will not; give me room,And let me see the proudest of ye jeer me,And I'le begin with you first.
Mir.'PretheeBelleur;If I do not satisfie thee—
Bel.Well, look ye do:But now I think on't better, 'tis impossible;I must beat some body, I am maul'd my self,And I ought in justice—
Mir.No, no, no, ye are couzen'd;But walk, and let me talk to thee.
Bel.Talk wisely,And see that no man laugh upon no occasion;For I shall think then 'tis at me.
Mir.I warrant thee.
Bel.Nor no more talk of this.
Mir.Do'st think I am maddish?
Bel.I must needs fight yet; for I find it concerns me,A pox on't, I must fight.
Mir.'Faith thou shalt not.[Exeunt.