REMAINS OF HAJJI BABA.

REMAINS OF HAJJI BABA.CHAPTER VII.My great anxiety now was to reach the foot of the English throne as soon as possible; and I consulted my infidel friend upon the safest, easiest, and least public manner of putting my project into execution. I had thought it right to place sufficient confidence in him to inform him that I was an agent of the King of Persia, commissioned to make certain proposals to the King of England; but that it was not my intention to insist upon anistakbal, or deputation, upon my entry into the principal city, or to demand either maintenance or lodging at the expense of the nation: in short, I wished to be as little known as possible. He assured me that the most private manner of travelling was a public coach. This rather appeared paradoxical, for how could I be private and public at the same time? but, after certain explanations, I found that he was right; particularly when he assured me that in point of expense the private mode of conveyance cost about seven times more than the public.Accordingly, the next morning, having, through the interference of my friend, paid what was due to the owner of the caravanserai, I seated myself in the corner of a handsome coach, drawn by four fine horses, which appeared at the door on purpose for my convenience. My friend seated himself by my side, Mahboob was placed on the outside, and we drove off at such a rate, that I neither had time to find out whether the hour was fortunate, or indeed to ascertain which was the direction of Mecca, much less to say my prayers.We had not proceeded far, when we stopped, and a third person ascended, and took possession of the corner opposite to me. He was a coarse-looking infidel, with a sallow face covered with hair: bushy eyebrows, dirty in appearance, and, as far as I could discover, wishing to look like one of the people, although he might be of the race of theomrah. He said nothing upon entrance,—not even the EnglishSelam alekum, which I had long learned to be expressed by the words "Good morning, and fine day;" but there he sat, as if the orifice of his mouth had been closed by a stroke of fate. The cast of his eye as it glanced upon me was not that of hospitality; and I was certain that, had he been an Arab, I should not have heard the sound of his pestle and mortar braying the coffee for me in token of welcome.I discovered that my friend's name, who had hitherto thrown his shadow over me, was Jān Pûl, words which surprised me, because they are pure Persian, and might be interpreted, "Soul, Money!" Although the new-comer eyed me with little kindnessof aspect, yet, when he looked at my friend Jān, there was a slight indication of respect; but still he said nothing.We had scarcely cleared the town, when the coach again stopped, and we discovered stepping out of a handsome equipage, with servants and men inkalaatsto help him, an infidel, who, after some delay taken up in providing for his comfort and accommodation, was helped into our conveyance, and he occupied the fourth and last place in it. He was a handsome man, cleanly and handsomely dressed, full of fair forms and politeness; a perfect contrast to his predecessor, and upon whose whole bearing and manners was inscribed, in legible characters,sahib najib, or gentleman.He was as civil to me as his predecessor had been the contrary. Having ascertained that I was a Persian, he welcomed me to his country in a form of words different from those used in Persia; but in so doing, he not only made my heart glad, but made his own face white. He then complimented me upon belonging to a nation whose people willingly obeyed and upheld the authority of their king, and who were satisfied to live under the laws of their ancient monarchy. I had so long been unaccustomed to receive compliments, that, upon hearing this from the sahib najib, I almost thought myself in Persia again, and was about preparing a suitable answer,—one in which I intended at once to uphold the dignity of my sovereign and to exhibit my own individual readiness of wit,—when an uncouth sound proceeded from the unclean infidel, almost the first sign of life which he had given, that made me start, stopped my eloquence, and threw all the sugared words which I had prepared, back into my throat again. As far as I could understand, the purport of this inauspicious noise was to announce to the sahib najib that he had said something in the words he had addressed to me to which he did not agree, for I perceived anger and disgust arise in his countenance, while the looks of "Soul Money," though not much given to change, also became lowering."Surely, sir," said the sahib najib, addressing the unclean infidel still with courtesy in his manner,—"surely you will allow, in these unsettled times, that loyalty to one's king, and obedience to established laws, is a subject worthy of compliment.""I allow nothing," replied the other, looking straight forward, "but what is for the good of the people."Upon this there arose a discussion so long and so animated, that it lasted almost all the way to the foot of the English throne, and of which I could with difficulty catch the meaning, so new were most of the words used to my ears.The sahib najib's argument was full of words such as these; the constitution—vested rights—ancient privileges—funded property—established church—landed interest; and although we were driving through a country more prosperousto my eye than even the regions of Mahomet's paradise could be, surrounded by every luxury, and he apparently the lord of wealth and luxury, still he seemed to persist that he was ruined and reduced to beggary, that his country was on the brink of perdition, and that nothing remained for him to do but to sit down for the rest of his days upon the nummud of despair, and to eat the bitter rind of grief.The rough infidel, on the contrary, argued that constitutional rights, funded property, land, church, laws, and a great many more things, of the import of which I was ignorant, but of which I promised to acquire knowledge, all, he argued, were alone to be turned to the use of the people; and thus I began to have some little idea of what was meant by that People Shah of whom we had heard so much in Persia."What!" said the sahib najib, "when you see the constitution in danger, do not you perceive that it will endanger the happiness of the people whose cause you advocate?""I do not see that it is in danger," said the other. "If my boat is sinking because we carry too much sail, shall I not trim my sails and inspect my ballast?""But by trimming your boat you would throw all your cargo overboard, and thus lose all you have," answered the other.This part of the conversation I understood, and then I said, "I now understand: when a camel is overladen, and cannot proceed, on account of the weight of his burthen, either the camel will die, or I must lighten his burthen.""Very good," said the rough man, who now for the first time cast the shadow of his condescension over me. "You are the lord of quick understanding, and see things.""But," said his well-dressed antagonist, "I neither agree that the boat is badly trimmed, or that the camel is overladen:" then, turning to me, he said, "Surely, sir, you, who have been bred and born a Mussulman, who have let your beard grow according to old-established custom, who have washed your hands and feet in accordance to the precepts of your law,—you would not change all at once, because some new sect in your country were to arise and say, 'Cut off your beard, cease to wash, pray in a new manner, and say to Mahomet, You are a false prophet;' you could not in your conscience do so.""Astafarallah!" said I, blowing over my shoulders at the same time, "am I mad to eat such a profusion of abomination!""You are a man of perfection," said he. "I am sure the more you see of my country and get acquainted with its present condition, the more you will agree with me."I looked towards my friend Jān Pûl, who hitherto had not uttered a word, and said, "This sahib says nothing. Perhaps owing to his saying less than we do, he may be the lord of more wisdom than all our heads put together.""What can I say," said Jān calmly, "when there is much tobe said on both sides? The highest wisdom is to gather experience from the past, and apply it to the necessities of the future.""Agreed," said the rough man: "we must therefore reform.""Agreed," said the smooth man: "reform is useless."I immediately perceived how the matter stood, and, with that penetration for which all Persians are famous, I discovered the true state of the whole country. I saw that the people were divided into two sects, as much opposed to each other as Jews are to true believers; that plain sense had as little chance in the controversy as a sober man may have in the brawls of two drunkards; and that, before things get straight, each of the drunkards must be sobered by breaking their shins in stumbling over a stone, or their heads by carrying them too high.CHAPTER VIII.We continued to drive onwards: the faster we went, the more the infidels argued. I sat in my corner guessing my way through their words, and already making up in my mind the sort of letter which I should write to the Asylum of the Universe upon the state of this extraordinary country, whilst my silent friend, with his hook-stick and close-buttoned coat, shut his eyes and slumbered; only occasionally giving signs of life. At length we arrived at a house which I supposed might be a caravanserai, after the Franc fashion, open to true believers, for, on looking up I saw painted upon a board an elephant with a castle upon its back. I began to think this might be in compliment to me, seeing that elephants are part of the state of Persian monarchs: but I was mistaken, because, instead of taking any notice of me, the sahib najib, on the contrary, did not show his usual civility; but, putting his head out of the window, he asked one of the bystanders, "Is there any news astir?""Nothing particular," said an unconcerned infidel; "nothing. The papers say, 'A man threw a stone and has broken the king's head!'""There," said the smooth man to the rough, "there, that comes of your reform!""I deny that," said the other: "on the contrary, it comes of your no-reform.""Why, surely," answered the sahib najib, "if you had not taught the people not to respect their king, to despise his nobles, and to laugh at the laws, such an atrocity never would have happened.""No, indeed, it never would," retorted the other, "if you had made such changes that the people would love their king, respect his nobles, and be satisfied with the laws.""Then you think stoning your king a right thing to do?" said one."Then you allow making him odious," answered the other, "is what ought to be done?""Will a stone get up and throw itself?""Will a man complain unless he be aggrieved?""Hallo! my friend," said the sahib najib to the bystander, "what is said about this atrocious act, eh?""Why, some say, 'Poor king!' others say, 'Poor stone!'" answered the bystander in the coolest manner possible.At this I began truly to have an insight into things, and could not help exclaiming in the bottom of my gullet, "Allah Allah, il Allah!There is but one Allah!""You understood what that man said?" said Jān Pûl to me, with a sigh, and in a low voice."Belli, yes," said I, "wonderful! The men of this country are lions without saints. Allah! Allah! to throw a stone at the king, and no executioner by, to cut the wretch's head off.""No, no," said he, "that must be proved; first, whether it was a stone; second, whether it was a man who threw it; and, third, whether it hit the king's head, or some other head.""Aman, aman!Mercy, mercy!" I exclaimed; "let me return to Persia. If so little is said about breaking the king's head, where shall I turn for justice if some one cuts off my ears? Well may the people want reform!""I will just prove to you, sir," said the soft infidel, "that this case just proves that we want no reform.""How!" said I, "break your king's head, and nobody to mend it!""That is not the case," said he. "If a people have so much security from the laws, that not even the poorest wretch, even for a crime of such magnitude, can be condemned without proof against him and a full trial, surely they cannot complain: they are all equal in the eye of the law, and more they cannot want." He said this in great exultation, having obtained, as he conceived, a complete triumph over his adversary, and eyed him with appropriate scorn.The rough man looked as if his head went round and round, and as if he were come to a full stop; but, pulling up the two ends of his shirt,—I suppose to show that he had one,—he said, "If the people have one good law, is that a reason why they should not have more? The great man may get his head broke,—he is rich and mighty, a little salve cures him, and he is as rich and happy as ever; but the poor man who has broken it, save the satisfaction of making a good throw, he remains as poor and miserable as ever.""Then, sir," said the sahib najib, "you would have what can never be,—you would have perfect equality amongst mankind?""Yes, truly," exclaimed the other; "because, if all were equal, there would be no heads broken, and no stones thrown."This, too, I understood, and said, "What words are these? All men cannot be kings, nor can they all be viziers, nor all khans. I, who know nothing of your extraordinary customs, I can understand that. Were I to think of being anything but what I am, might not my neighbour think so too; and if I wished to be him, and he me, why, then the world would soon be upside down, and from one end of the universe to the other there would be nothing but clutching of beards, and cries of justice, and no justice!""Whatever you may say," said the rough infidel, "we must have more equality in our country than we have at present, or else the world will turn upside down. The rich must be poorer, and the poor richer."During this conversation we were in rapid motion, driving through streets lighted up as magnificently as if the Shah himself had ordered a feast of fire-works, and ornamented by shops exhibiting such riches, that not all the wealth brought from Hind by Nadir Shah, or amassed by the Sofi, could compare to it."Strange," thought I to myself, "that this people are not satisfied with their lot!" Passing by a splendid shop, resplendent with cutlery, part of my instructions came into my head, and I said to the rough man, "In the name of the Prophet, do you still make penknives and broad-cloth?"At this question my companion stared, and said, "Penknives and broad-cloth, did you say? Why, we have more penknives and broad-cloth than we know what to do with. We have made so much and so many, that the whole world has more of them than it wants; and the poor creatures, the manufacturers, are starving for want of work. Surely this wants reform."This was delightful news for me, and I longed to send an immediate courier to the Shah to inform him of the important fact."Whose fault is it?" said the soft man, determined not to be beaten on any ground. "If manufacturers will do too much, whose fault is it but their own? Unless you make a reform in common sense, surely no other reform is needful."By this time the coach had stopped, and I found that we had reached our last menzil. The rough man got out first; but just as he was stepping down, in order to ensure the last word, he exclaimed, "We want reform not only in that, but in everything else,—more particularly in rotten boroughs."At these two last words, the soft man became evidently angered, his liver turning into blood, whilst his face became red. "Rotten boroughs, indeed! the country is lost for ever if one borough is disfranchised."These words were totally new to my ears, and what they meant I knew not; but I became quite certain that the rough man had hit the smooth man in a sore place. But I was in theseventh heaven at the end of their controversy. I had never heard such warmth of argument, not since that famous dispute at the Medressah, in Ispahan, between two famous Mollahs, the one a suni, the other a shiah, whether the children of the true faith, in washing according to the prescribed law, were to let the water run from the hand to the elbow, or whether from the elbow to the hand. They argued for three whole moons, and neither were convinced; and so they remain to this day, each in his own persuasion."How will it be possible," thought I, "to unravel this intricate question? It is plain these English are a nation of madmen. Oh! could they but take one look at my country, where the will of one man is all in all,—where no man's head is safe on his shoulders for one moment,—where, if he heaps up riches in the course of many years, they may be taken from him in an hour,—where he does not even think for himself, much less speak,—where man is as withering grass of the field, and life as the wind blowing over it; could they but know this, short would be their controversies. They would praise Allah with gratitude for their condition, be content with their fate, and drive all wish of change from their thoughts, as threatening the overthrow of their happiness."

My great anxiety now was to reach the foot of the English throne as soon as possible; and I consulted my infidel friend upon the safest, easiest, and least public manner of putting my project into execution. I had thought it right to place sufficient confidence in him to inform him that I was an agent of the King of Persia, commissioned to make certain proposals to the King of England; but that it was not my intention to insist upon anistakbal, or deputation, upon my entry into the principal city, or to demand either maintenance or lodging at the expense of the nation: in short, I wished to be as little known as possible. He assured me that the most private manner of travelling was a public coach. This rather appeared paradoxical, for how could I be private and public at the same time? but, after certain explanations, I found that he was right; particularly when he assured me that in point of expense the private mode of conveyance cost about seven times more than the public.

Accordingly, the next morning, having, through the interference of my friend, paid what was due to the owner of the caravanserai, I seated myself in the corner of a handsome coach, drawn by four fine horses, which appeared at the door on purpose for my convenience. My friend seated himself by my side, Mahboob was placed on the outside, and we drove off at such a rate, that I neither had time to find out whether the hour was fortunate, or indeed to ascertain which was the direction of Mecca, much less to say my prayers.

We had not proceeded far, when we stopped, and a third person ascended, and took possession of the corner opposite to me. He was a coarse-looking infidel, with a sallow face covered with hair: bushy eyebrows, dirty in appearance, and, as far as I could discover, wishing to look like one of the people, although he might be of the race of theomrah. He said nothing upon entrance,—not even the EnglishSelam alekum, which I had long learned to be expressed by the words "Good morning, and fine day;" but there he sat, as if the orifice of his mouth had been closed by a stroke of fate. The cast of his eye as it glanced upon me was not that of hospitality; and I was certain that, had he been an Arab, I should not have heard the sound of his pestle and mortar braying the coffee for me in token of welcome.

I discovered that my friend's name, who had hitherto thrown his shadow over me, was Jān Pûl, words which surprised me, because they are pure Persian, and might be interpreted, "Soul, Money!" Although the new-comer eyed me with little kindnessof aspect, yet, when he looked at my friend Jān, there was a slight indication of respect; but still he said nothing.

We had scarcely cleared the town, when the coach again stopped, and we discovered stepping out of a handsome equipage, with servants and men inkalaatsto help him, an infidel, who, after some delay taken up in providing for his comfort and accommodation, was helped into our conveyance, and he occupied the fourth and last place in it. He was a handsome man, cleanly and handsomely dressed, full of fair forms and politeness; a perfect contrast to his predecessor, and upon whose whole bearing and manners was inscribed, in legible characters,sahib najib, or gentleman.

He was as civil to me as his predecessor had been the contrary. Having ascertained that I was a Persian, he welcomed me to his country in a form of words different from those used in Persia; but in so doing, he not only made my heart glad, but made his own face white. He then complimented me upon belonging to a nation whose people willingly obeyed and upheld the authority of their king, and who were satisfied to live under the laws of their ancient monarchy. I had so long been unaccustomed to receive compliments, that, upon hearing this from the sahib najib, I almost thought myself in Persia again, and was about preparing a suitable answer,—one in which I intended at once to uphold the dignity of my sovereign and to exhibit my own individual readiness of wit,—when an uncouth sound proceeded from the unclean infidel, almost the first sign of life which he had given, that made me start, stopped my eloquence, and threw all the sugared words which I had prepared, back into my throat again. As far as I could understand, the purport of this inauspicious noise was to announce to the sahib najib that he had said something in the words he had addressed to me to which he did not agree, for I perceived anger and disgust arise in his countenance, while the looks of "Soul Money," though not much given to change, also became lowering.

"Surely, sir," said the sahib najib, addressing the unclean infidel still with courtesy in his manner,—"surely you will allow, in these unsettled times, that loyalty to one's king, and obedience to established laws, is a subject worthy of compliment."

"I allow nothing," replied the other, looking straight forward, "but what is for the good of the people."

Upon this there arose a discussion so long and so animated, that it lasted almost all the way to the foot of the English throne, and of which I could with difficulty catch the meaning, so new were most of the words used to my ears.

The sahib najib's argument was full of words such as these; the constitution—vested rights—ancient privileges—funded property—established church—landed interest; and although we were driving through a country more prosperousto my eye than even the regions of Mahomet's paradise could be, surrounded by every luxury, and he apparently the lord of wealth and luxury, still he seemed to persist that he was ruined and reduced to beggary, that his country was on the brink of perdition, and that nothing remained for him to do but to sit down for the rest of his days upon the nummud of despair, and to eat the bitter rind of grief.

The rough infidel, on the contrary, argued that constitutional rights, funded property, land, church, laws, and a great many more things, of the import of which I was ignorant, but of which I promised to acquire knowledge, all, he argued, were alone to be turned to the use of the people; and thus I began to have some little idea of what was meant by that People Shah of whom we had heard so much in Persia.

"What!" said the sahib najib, "when you see the constitution in danger, do not you perceive that it will endanger the happiness of the people whose cause you advocate?"

"I do not see that it is in danger," said the other. "If my boat is sinking because we carry too much sail, shall I not trim my sails and inspect my ballast?"

"But by trimming your boat you would throw all your cargo overboard, and thus lose all you have," answered the other.

This part of the conversation I understood, and then I said, "I now understand: when a camel is overladen, and cannot proceed, on account of the weight of his burthen, either the camel will die, or I must lighten his burthen."

"Very good," said the rough man, who now for the first time cast the shadow of his condescension over me. "You are the lord of quick understanding, and see things."

"But," said his well-dressed antagonist, "I neither agree that the boat is badly trimmed, or that the camel is overladen:" then, turning to me, he said, "Surely, sir, you, who have been bred and born a Mussulman, who have let your beard grow according to old-established custom, who have washed your hands and feet in accordance to the precepts of your law,—you would not change all at once, because some new sect in your country were to arise and say, 'Cut off your beard, cease to wash, pray in a new manner, and say to Mahomet, You are a false prophet;' you could not in your conscience do so."

"Astafarallah!" said I, blowing over my shoulders at the same time, "am I mad to eat such a profusion of abomination!"

"You are a man of perfection," said he. "I am sure the more you see of my country and get acquainted with its present condition, the more you will agree with me."

I looked towards my friend Jān Pûl, who hitherto had not uttered a word, and said, "This sahib says nothing. Perhaps owing to his saying less than we do, he may be the lord of more wisdom than all our heads put together."

"What can I say," said Jān calmly, "when there is much tobe said on both sides? The highest wisdom is to gather experience from the past, and apply it to the necessities of the future."

"Agreed," said the rough man: "we must therefore reform."

"Agreed," said the smooth man: "reform is useless."

I immediately perceived how the matter stood, and, with that penetration for which all Persians are famous, I discovered the true state of the whole country. I saw that the people were divided into two sects, as much opposed to each other as Jews are to true believers; that plain sense had as little chance in the controversy as a sober man may have in the brawls of two drunkards; and that, before things get straight, each of the drunkards must be sobered by breaking their shins in stumbling over a stone, or their heads by carrying them too high.

We continued to drive onwards: the faster we went, the more the infidels argued. I sat in my corner guessing my way through their words, and already making up in my mind the sort of letter which I should write to the Asylum of the Universe upon the state of this extraordinary country, whilst my silent friend, with his hook-stick and close-buttoned coat, shut his eyes and slumbered; only occasionally giving signs of life. At length we arrived at a house which I supposed might be a caravanserai, after the Franc fashion, open to true believers, for, on looking up I saw painted upon a board an elephant with a castle upon its back. I began to think this might be in compliment to me, seeing that elephants are part of the state of Persian monarchs: but I was mistaken, because, instead of taking any notice of me, the sahib najib, on the contrary, did not show his usual civility; but, putting his head out of the window, he asked one of the bystanders, "Is there any news astir?"

"Nothing particular," said an unconcerned infidel; "nothing. The papers say, 'A man threw a stone and has broken the king's head!'"

"There," said the smooth man to the rough, "there, that comes of your reform!"

"I deny that," said the other: "on the contrary, it comes of your no-reform."

"Why, surely," answered the sahib najib, "if you had not taught the people not to respect their king, to despise his nobles, and to laugh at the laws, such an atrocity never would have happened."

"No, indeed, it never would," retorted the other, "if you had made such changes that the people would love their king, respect his nobles, and be satisfied with the laws."

"Then you think stoning your king a right thing to do?" said one.

"Then you allow making him odious," answered the other, "is what ought to be done?"

"Will a stone get up and throw itself?"

"Will a man complain unless he be aggrieved?"

"Hallo! my friend," said the sahib najib to the bystander, "what is said about this atrocious act, eh?"

"Why, some say, 'Poor king!' others say, 'Poor stone!'" answered the bystander in the coolest manner possible.

At this I began truly to have an insight into things, and could not help exclaiming in the bottom of my gullet, "Allah Allah, il Allah!There is but one Allah!"

"You understood what that man said?" said Jān Pûl to me, with a sigh, and in a low voice.

"Belli, yes," said I, "wonderful! The men of this country are lions without saints. Allah! Allah! to throw a stone at the king, and no executioner by, to cut the wretch's head off."

"No, no," said he, "that must be proved; first, whether it was a stone; second, whether it was a man who threw it; and, third, whether it hit the king's head, or some other head."

"Aman, aman!Mercy, mercy!" I exclaimed; "let me return to Persia. If so little is said about breaking the king's head, where shall I turn for justice if some one cuts off my ears? Well may the people want reform!"

"I will just prove to you, sir," said the soft infidel, "that this case just proves that we want no reform."

"How!" said I, "break your king's head, and nobody to mend it!"

"That is not the case," said he. "If a people have so much security from the laws, that not even the poorest wretch, even for a crime of such magnitude, can be condemned without proof against him and a full trial, surely they cannot complain: they are all equal in the eye of the law, and more they cannot want." He said this in great exultation, having obtained, as he conceived, a complete triumph over his adversary, and eyed him with appropriate scorn.

The rough man looked as if his head went round and round, and as if he were come to a full stop; but, pulling up the two ends of his shirt,—I suppose to show that he had one,—he said, "If the people have one good law, is that a reason why they should not have more? The great man may get his head broke,—he is rich and mighty, a little salve cures him, and he is as rich and happy as ever; but the poor man who has broken it, save the satisfaction of making a good throw, he remains as poor and miserable as ever."

"Then, sir," said the sahib najib, "you would have what can never be,—you would have perfect equality amongst mankind?"

"Yes, truly," exclaimed the other; "because, if all were equal, there would be no heads broken, and no stones thrown."

This, too, I understood, and said, "What words are these? All men cannot be kings, nor can they all be viziers, nor all khans. I, who know nothing of your extraordinary customs, I can understand that. Were I to think of being anything but what I am, might not my neighbour think so too; and if I wished to be him, and he me, why, then the world would soon be upside down, and from one end of the universe to the other there would be nothing but clutching of beards, and cries of justice, and no justice!"

"Whatever you may say," said the rough infidel, "we must have more equality in our country than we have at present, or else the world will turn upside down. The rich must be poorer, and the poor richer."

During this conversation we were in rapid motion, driving through streets lighted up as magnificently as if the Shah himself had ordered a feast of fire-works, and ornamented by shops exhibiting such riches, that not all the wealth brought from Hind by Nadir Shah, or amassed by the Sofi, could compare to it.

"Strange," thought I to myself, "that this people are not satisfied with their lot!" Passing by a splendid shop, resplendent with cutlery, part of my instructions came into my head, and I said to the rough man, "In the name of the Prophet, do you still make penknives and broad-cloth?"

At this question my companion stared, and said, "Penknives and broad-cloth, did you say? Why, we have more penknives and broad-cloth than we know what to do with. We have made so much and so many, that the whole world has more of them than it wants; and the poor creatures, the manufacturers, are starving for want of work. Surely this wants reform."

This was delightful news for me, and I longed to send an immediate courier to the Shah to inform him of the important fact.

"Whose fault is it?" said the soft man, determined not to be beaten on any ground. "If manufacturers will do too much, whose fault is it but their own? Unless you make a reform in common sense, surely no other reform is needful."

By this time the coach had stopped, and I found that we had reached our last menzil. The rough man got out first; but just as he was stepping down, in order to ensure the last word, he exclaimed, "We want reform not only in that, but in everything else,—more particularly in rotten boroughs."

At these two last words, the soft man became evidently angered, his liver turning into blood, whilst his face became red. "Rotten boroughs, indeed! the country is lost for ever if one borough is disfranchised."

These words were totally new to my ears, and what they meant I knew not; but I became quite certain that the rough man had hit the smooth man in a sore place. But I was in theseventh heaven at the end of their controversy. I had never heard such warmth of argument, not since that famous dispute at the Medressah, in Ispahan, between two famous Mollahs, the one a suni, the other a shiah, whether the children of the true faith, in washing according to the prescribed law, were to let the water run from the hand to the elbow, or whether from the elbow to the hand. They argued for three whole moons, and neither were convinced; and so they remain to this day, each in his own persuasion.

"How will it be possible," thought I, "to unravel this intricate question? It is plain these English are a nation of madmen. Oh! could they but take one look at my country, where the will of one man is all in all,—where no man's head is safe on his shoulders for one moment,—where, if he heaps up riches in the course of many years, they may be taken from him in an hour,—where he does not even think for himself, much less speak,—where man is as withering grass of the field, and life as the wind blowing over it; could they but know this, short would be their controversies. They would praise Allah with gratitude for their condition, be content with their fate, and drive all wish of change from their thoughts, as threatening the overthrow of their happiness."

SHAKSPEARE PAPERS.—No. III.ROMEO."Of this unlucky sort our Romeus is one,For all his hap turns to mishap, and all his mirth to mone."The Tragicall Historye of Romeus and Juliet."Never," says Prince Escalus, in the concluding distich of Romeo and Juliet,"—was there story of more woeThan this of Juliet and her Romeo."It is a story which, in the inartificial shape of a black-letter ballad, powerfully affected the imagination, and awakened the sensibilities, of our ancestors, and in the hands of Shakspeare has become the love-story of the whole world. Who cares for the loves of Petrarch and Laura, or of Eloisa and Abelard, compared with those of Romeo and Juliet? The gallantries of Petrarch are conveyed in models of polished and ornate verse; but, in spite of their elegance, we feel that they are frosty as the Alps beneath which they were written. They are only the exercises of genius, not the ebullitionsof feeling; and we can easily credit the story that Petrarch refused a dispensation to marry Laura, lest marriage might spoil his poetry. The muse, and not the lady, was his mistress. In the case of Abelard there are many associations which are not agreeable; and, after all, we can hardly help looking upon him as a fitter hero for Bayle's Dictionary than a romance. In Romeo and Juliet we have the poetry of Petrarch without its iciness, and the passion of Eloisa free from its coarse exhibition. We have, too, philosophy far more profound than ever was scattered over the syllogistic pages of Abelard, full of knowledge and acuteness as they undoubtedly are.But I am not about to consider Romeo merely as a lover, or to use him as an illustration of Lysander's often-quoted line,"The course of true love never did run smooth."In that course the current has been as rough to others as to Romeo; who, in spite of all his misfortunes, has wooed and won the lady of his affections. That Lysander's line is often true, cannot be questioned; though it is no more than the exaggeration of an annoyed suitor to say that love hasneverrun smoothly. The reason why it should be so generally true, is given in "Peveril of the Peak" by Sir Walter Scott; a man who closely approached to the genius of Shakspeare in depicting character, and who, above all writers of imagination, most nearly resembled him in the possession of keen, shrewd, every-day common-sense, rendered more remarkable by the contrast of the romantic, pathetic, and picturesque by which it is in all directions surrounded."This celebrated passage['Ah me! for aught that ever I could read,' &c.]which we have prefixed to this chapter, [chap. xii. vol. i. Peveril of the Peak,] has, like most observations of the same author, its foundation in real experience. The period at which love is felt most strongly is seldom that at which there is much prospect of its being brought to a happy issue. In fine, there are few men who do not look back in secret to some period of their youth at which a sincere and early affection was repulsed or betrayed, or became abortive under opposing circumstances. It is these little passages of secret history, which leave a tinge of romance in every bosom, scarce permitting us, even in the most busy or the most advanced period of life, to listen with total indifference to a tale of true love."[5]These remarks, the justice of which cannot be questioned, scarcely apply to the case of Romeo. In no respect, save that the families were at variance, was the match between him and Juliet such as not to afford a prospect of happy issue; and everything indicated the possibility of making their marriage a ground of reconciliation between their respective houses. Both are tired of the quarrel. Lady Capulet and Lady Montague are introduced in the very first scene of the play, endeavouring to pacify their husbands; and, when the brawl is over, Paris laments to Juliet's father that it is a pity persons ofsuch honourable reckoning should have lived so long at variance. For Romeo himself old Capulet expresses the highest respect, as being one of the ornaments of the city; and, after the death of Juliet, old Montague, touched by her truth and constancy, proposes to raise to her a statue of gold. With such sentiments and predispositions, the early passion of the Veronese lovers does not come within the canon of Sir Walter Scott; and, as I have said, I do not think that Romeo is designed merely as an exhibition of a man unfortunate in love.I consider him to be meant as the character of anunluckyman,—a man who, with the best views and fairest intentions, is perpetually so unfortunate as to fail in every aspiration, and, while exerting himself to the utmost in their behalf, to involve all whom he holds dearest in misery and ruin. At the commencement of the play an idle quarrel among some low retainers of the rival families produces a general riot, with which he has nothing to do. He is not present from beginning to end; the tumult has been so sudden and unexpected, that his father is obliged to ask"What set this ancient quarrel new abroach?"And yet it is this very quarrel which lays him prostrate in death by his own hand, outside Capulet's monument, before the tragedy concludes. While the fray was going on, he was nursing love-fancies, and endeavouring to persuade himself that his heart was breaking for Rosaline. How afflicting his passion must have been, we see by the conundrums he makes upon it:"Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears.[6]What is it else?—a madness most discreet,A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."—And so forth. The sorrows which we can balance in such trim antitheses do not lie very deep. The time is rapidly advancing when his sentences will be less sounding."It is my lady; oh, it is my love!O that she knew she were!"—speaks more touchingly the state of his engrossed soul than all the fine metaphors ever vented. The supercilious Spartans in the days of their success prided themselves upon the laconic brevity of their despatches to states in hostility or alliance with them. When they were sinking before the Macedonians, another style was adopted; and Philip observed that he had taught them to lengthen their monosyllables. Real love has had a contrary effect upon Romeo. It has abridged his swelling passages, and brought him to the language of prose. The reason of the alteration is the same in both cases. The brevity of the Spartans was the result of studied affectation. They sought, by the insolence of threats obscurely insinuated in a sort of demi-oracular language, to impose upon others,—perhaps they imposed upon themselves,—an extravagant opinion of their mysteriouspower. The secret was found out at last, and their anger bubbled over in big words and lengthened sentences. The love of Rosaline is as much affected on the part of Romeo, and it explodes in wire-drawn conceits."When the devout religion of mine eyeMaintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;And those who often drown'd could never die,Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars.One fairer than my love!—the all-seeing sunNe'er saw her match since first the world begun."It is no wonder that a gentleman who is so clever as to be able to say such extremely fine things, forgets, in the next scene, the devout religion of his eye, without any apprehension of the transparent heretic being burnt for a liar by the transmutation of tears into the flames of anauto da fe. He is doomed to discover that love in his case is not a madness most discreet when he defies the stars; there are then no lines of magnificent declamation."Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!Thou knowest my lodging: get me ink and paper,And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night."Nothing can be plainer prose than these verses. But how were they delivered? Balthazar will tell us."Pardon me, sir; I dare not leave you thus:Your looks are pale and wild, and do importSome misadventure."Again, nothing can be more quiet than his final determination:"Well, Juliet, I will lie with thee to-night."It is plain Juliet,—unattended by any romantic epithet of love. There is nothing about "Cupid's arrow," or "Dian's wit;" no honeyed word escapes his lips,—nor again does any accent of despair. His mind is so made up,—the whole course of the short remainder of his life so unalterably fixed, that it is perfectly useless to think more about it He has full leisure to reflect without disturbance upon the details of the squalid penury which made him set down the poor apothecary as a fit instrument for what now had become his "need;" and he offers his proposition of purchasing that soon-speeding gear which is to hurry him out of life, with the same business-like tone as if he were purchasing a pennyworth of sugar-candy. When the apothecary suggests the danger of selling such drugs, Romeo can reflect on the folly of scrupling to sacrifice life when the holder of it is so poor and unfortunate. Gallant and gay of appearance himself, he tells his new-found acquaintance that bareness, famine, oppression, ragged misery, the hollow cheek and the hungry eye, are fitting reasons why death should be desired, not avoided; and with a cool philosophy assures him that gold is worse poison than the compound which hurries the life-weary taker out of the world. The language of desperation cannot be more dismally determined. What did the apothecary think of his customer as he pocketed the forty ducats? There you go, lad,—there you go, he might have said,—there you go with that in your girdle that, if you had the strength of twenty men, would straightdespatch you. Well do I know the use for which you intend it. To-morrow's sun sees not you alive. And you philosophise to me on the necessity of buying food and getting into flesh. You taunt my poverty,—you laugh at my rags,—you bid me defy the law,—you tell me the world is my enemy. It may be so, lad,—it may be so; but less tattered is my garment than your heart,—less harassed by law of one kind or another my pursuit than yours. What ails that lad? I know not, neither do I care. But that he should moralise to me on the hard lot which I experience,—that he, with those looks and those accents, should fancy that I, amid my beggarly account of empty boxes, am less happy than he,—ha! ha! ha!—it is something to make one laugh. Ride your way, boy: I have your forty ducats in my purse, and you my drug in your pocket. And the law! Well! What can the executioner do worse to me in my penury and my age than you have doomed for yourself in your youth and splendour. I carry not my hangman in my saddle as I ride along. And the curses which the rabble may pour upon my dying moments,—what are they to the howling gurgle which, now rising from your heart, is deafening your ears? Adieu, boy,—adieu!—and keep your philosophy for yourself. Ho! ho! ho!But had any other passion or pursuit occupied Romeo, he would have been equally unlucky as in his love. Ill fortune has marked him for her own. From beginning to end he intends the best; but his interfering is ever for the worst. It is evident that he has not taken any part in the family feud which divides Verona, and his first attachment is to a lady of the antagonist house.[7]To see that lady,—perhaps to mark that he has had no share in the tumult of the morning,—he goes to a ball given by Capulet, at which the suitor accepted by the family is to be introduced to Juliet as her intended husband. Paris is in every way an eligible match."Verona's summer hath not such a flower."He who has slain him addresses his corse as that of the "noble County Paris," with a kindly remembrance that he was kinsman of a friend slain in Romeo's own cause. Nothing can be more fervent, more honourable, or more delicate than his devoted and considerate wooing. His grief at the loss of Juliet is expressed in few words; but its sincerity is told by his midnight and secret visit to the tomb of her whom living he had honoured, and on whom, when dead, he could notrestrain himself from lavishing funereal homage. Secure of the favour of her father, no serious objection could be anticipated from herself. When questioned by her mother, she readily promises obedience to parental wishes, and goes to the ball determined to "look to like, if looking liking move." Everything glides on in smooth current till the appearance of him whose presence is deadly. Romeo himself is a most reluctant visitor. He apprehends that the consequences of the night's revels will be the vile forfeit of a despised life by an untimely death, but submits to his destiny. He foresees that it is no wit to go, but consoles himself with the reflection that he "means well in going to this mask." His intentions, as usual, are good; and, as usual, their consequences are ruinous.He yields to his passion, and marries Juliet. For this hasty act he has the excuse that the match may put an end to the discord between the families. Friar Lawrence hopes that"this alliance may so happy proveTo turn your households' rancour into love."It certainly has that effect in the end of the play, but it is by the suicidal deaths of the flower and hope of both families. Capulet and Montague tender, in a gloomy peace the hands of friendship, over the untimely grave of the poor sacrifices to their enmity. Had he met her elsewhere than in her father's house, he might have succeeded in a more prosperous love. But there his visit is looked upon by the professed duellist Tybalt, hot from the encounter of the morning, and enraged that he was baulked of a victim, as an intrusion and an insult. The fiery partisan is curbed with much difficulty by his uncle; and withdraws, his flesh trembling with wilful choler, determined to wreak vengeance at the first opportunity on the intruder. It is not long before the opportunity offers. Vainly does Romeo endeavour to pacify the bullying swordsman,—vainly does he protest that he loves the name of Capulet,—vainly does he decline the proffered duel. His good intentions are again doomed to be frustrated. There stands by his side as mad-blooded a spirit as Tybalt himself, and Mercutio, all unconscious of the reasons why Romeo refuses to fight, takes up the abandoned quarrel. The star of the unlucky man is ever in the ascendant. His ill-omened interference slays his friend. Had he kept quiet, the issue might have been different; but the power that had the steerage of his course had destined that the uplifting of his sword was to be the signal of death to his very friend. And when the dying Mercutio says, "Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm;" he can only offer the excuse, which is always true, and always unavailing, "I thought all for the best." All his visions of reconciliation between the houses are dissipated. How can he now avoid fighting with Tybalt? His best friend lies dead, slain in his own quarrel, through his own accursed intermeddling; and the swaggering victor, still hot from the slaughter, comes back to triumph over the dead. Who with the heart and spirit of a man could under such circumstances refrain from exclaiming,"Away to heaven, respective lenity!And fire-eyed fury be my conduct now."Vanish gentle breath, calm words, knees humbly bowed!—his weaponin an instant glitters in the blazing sun; and as with a lightning flash,—as rapidly and resistlessly,—before Benvolio can pull his sword from the scabbard, Tybalt, whom his kindred deemed a match for twenty men, is laid by the side of him who but a moment before had been the victim of his blade. What avails the practised science of the duellist, the gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause!—how weak is the immortal passado, or the punto reverso, the hay, or all the other learned devices of Vincent Saviola, against the whirlwind rage of a man driven to desperation by all that can rouse fury or stimulate hatred! He sees the blood of his friend red upon the ground; the accents of gross and unprovoked outrage ring in his ears; the perverse and obstinate insolence of a bravo confident in his skill, and depending upon it to insure him impunity, has marred his hopes; and the butcher of the silk button has no chance against the demon which he has evoked. "A la stoccata" carries it not away in this encounter; but Romeo exults not in his death. He stands amazed, and is with difficulty hurried off, exclaiming against the constant fate which perpetually throws him in the way of misfortune. Well, indeed, may Friar Lawrence address him by the title of "thou fearful man!"—as a man whose career through life is calculated to inspire terror. Well may he say to him that"Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,And thou art wedded to calamity."And slight is the attention which Romeo pays to the eloquent arguments by which it is proved that he had every reason to consider himself happy. When the friar assures him that"A pack of blessings lights upon thy back,Happiness courts thee in her best array,"the nurse may think it a discourse of learning and good counsel, fit to detain an enraptured auditor all the night. Romeo feels it in his case to be an idle declamation, unworthy of an answer.The events which occur during his enforced absence, the haste of Paris to be wedded, the zeal of old Capulet in promoting the wishes of his expected son-in-law, the desperate expedient of the sleeping-draught,[8]the accident which prevented the delivery of the friar's letter, the officious haste of Balthazar to communicate the tidings of Juliet's burial, are all matters out of his control. But the mode of his death is chosen by himself; and in that he is as unlucky as in everything else. Utterly loathing life, the manner of his leaving it must be instantaneous. He stipulates that the poison by which he is to die shall not be slow of effect. He calls for"such soon-speeding gearAs will disperse itself through all the veins,That the life-weary taker may fall dead."He leaves himself no chance of escape. Instant death is in his hand; and, thanking the true apothecary for the quickness of his drugs, he scarcely leaves himself a moment with a kiss to die. If he had been less in a hurry,—if he had not felt it impossible to delay posting off to Verona for a single night,—if his riding had been less rapid, or his medicine less sudden in its effect, he might have lived. The friar was at hand to release Juliet from her tomb the very instant after the fatal phial had been emptied. That instant was enough: the unlucky man had effected his purpose just when there was still a chance that things might be amended. Those who wrote the scene between Romeo and Juliet which is intended to be pathetic, after her awakening and before his death, quite mistake the character of the hero of the play. I do not blame them for their poetry, which is as good as that of second-rate writers of tragedy in general; and think them, on the whole, deserving of our commendation for giving us an additional proof how unable clever men upon town are to follow the conceptions of genius. Shakspeare, if he thought it consistent with the character which he had with so much deliberation framed, could have written a parting scene at least as good as that with whichhis tragedy has been supplied; but he saw the inconsistency, though his unasked assistants did not. They tell us they did it to consult popular taste. I do not believe them. I am sure that popular taste would approve of a recurrence to the old play in all its parts; but a harlotry play-actor might think it hard upon him to be deprived of a "point," pointless as that point may be.Haste is made a remarkable characteristic of Romeo,—because it is at once the parent and the child of uniform misfortune. As from the acorn springs the oak, and from the oak the acorn, so does the temperament that inclines to haste predispose to misadventure, and a continuance of misadventure confirms the habit of haste. A man whom his rashness has made continually unlucky, is strengthened in the determination to persevere in his rapid movements by the very feeling that the "run" is against him, and that it is of no use to think. In the case of Romeo, he leaves it all to the steerage of Heaven,i. e.to the heady current of his own passions; and he succeeds accordingly. All through the play care is taken to show his impatience. The very first word he speaks indicates that he is anxious for the quick passage of time."Ben.Good morrow, cousin.Rom.Is the day so young?Ben.But new struck nine.Rom.Ay me, sad hours seem long."The same impatience marks his speech in the moment of death:"O true apothecary,Thy drugs are quick!"From his first words to his last the feeling is the same. The lady of his love, even in the full swell of her awakened affections, cannot avoid remarking that his contract is"Too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,Too like the lightning, which does cease to beEre one can say, It lightens."When he urges his marriage on the friar,"Rom.O let us home: I stand on sudden haste.Friar.Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast."The metaphors put into his mouth are remarkable for their allusions to abrupt and violent haste. He wishes that he may die"As violently as hasty powder firedDoth hurry from the fatal cannon's womb."When he thinks that Juliet mentions his name in anger, it is"as if that name,Shot from the deadly level of a gun,Did murder her."When Lawrence remonstrates with him on his violence, he compares the use to which he puts his wit to"Powder in a skilless soldier's flask;"and tells him that"Violent delights have violent ends,And in their triumph die; like fire and powder,Which, as they kiss, consume."Lightning, flame, shot, explosion, are the favourite parallels to the conduct and career of Romeo. Swift are his loves; as swift to enter his thought, the mischief which ends them for ever. Rapid have been all the pulsations of his life; as rapid, the determination which decides that they shall beat no more.A gentleman he was in heart and soul. All his habitual companions love him: Benvolio and Mercutio, who represent the young gentlemen of his house, are ready to peril their lives, and to strain all their energies, serious or gay, in his service. His father is filled with an anxiety on his account so delicate, that he will not venture to interfere with his son's private sorrows, while he desires to discover their source, and if possible to relieve them. The heart of his mother bursts in his calamity; the head of the rival house bestows upon him the warmest panegyrics; the tutor of his youth sacrifices everything to gratify his wishes; his servant, though no man is a hero to hisvalet de chambre, dares not remonstrate with him on his intentions, even when they are avowed to be savage-wild,"More fierce, and more inexorable far,Than empty tigers or the roaring sea,"—but with an eager solicitude he breaks his commands by remaining as close as he can venture, to watch over his safety. Kind is he to all. He wins the heart of the romantic Juliet by his tender gallantry: the worldly-minded nurse praises him for being as gentle as a lamb. When it is necessary or natural that the Prince or Lady Montague should speak harshly of him, it is done in his absence. No words of anger or reproach are addressed to his ears save by Tybalt; and from him they are in some sort a compliment, as signifying that the self-chosen prize-fighter of the opposing party deems Romeo the worthiest antagonist of his blade. We find that he fights two blood-stained duels, but both are forced upon him; the first under circumstances impossible of avoidance, the last after the humblest supplications to be excused."O begone!By Heaven, I love thee better than myself,For I came hither armed against myself.Stay not; begone!—live, and hereafter sayA madman's mercy bade thee run away."With all the qualities and emotions which can inspire affection and esteem,—with all the advantages that birth, heaven, and earth could at once confer,—with the most honourable feelings and the kindliest intentions,—he is eminently an unlucky man. The record of his actions in the play before us does not extend to the period of a week; but we feel that there is no dramatic straining to shorten their course. Everything occurs naturally and probably. It was his concluding week; but it tells us all his life. Fortune was against him; and would have been against him, no matter what might have been his pursuit. He was born to win battles, but to lose campaigns. If we desired to moralize with the harsh-minded satirist, who never can be suspected of romance, we should join with him in extracting as a moral from the play"Nullum habes numen, si sit prudentia; sed teNos facimus, Fortuna, deam, cœloquê locamus;"and attribute the mishaps of Romeo, not to want of fortune, but of prudence. Philosophy and poetry differ not in essentials, and the stern censure of Juvenal is just. But still, when looking on the timeless tomb of Romeo, and contemplating the short and sad career through which he ran, we cannot help recollecting his mourning words over his dying friend, and suggest as an inscription over the monument of the luckless gentleman,"I thought all for the best."

"Of this unlucky sort our Romeus is one,For all his hap turns to mishap, and all his mirth to mone."

"Of this unlucky sort our Romeus is one,For all his hap turns to mishap, and all his mirth to mone."

"Of this unlucky sort our Romeus is one,For all his hap turns to mishap, and all his mirth to mone."

"Of this unlucky sort our Romeus is one,

For all his hap turns to mishap, and all his mirth to mone."

The Tragicall Historye of Romeus and Juliet.

"Never," says Prince Escalus, in the concluding distich of Romeo and Juliet,

"—was there story of more woeThan this of Juliet and her Romeo."

"—was there story of more woeThan this of Juliet and her Romeo."

"—was there story of more woeThan this of Juliet and her Romeo."

"—was there story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

It is a story which, in the inartificial shape of a black-letter ballad, powerfully affected the imagination, and awakened the sensibilities, of our ancestors, and in the hands of Shakspeare has become the love-story of the whole world. Who cares for the loves of Petrarch and Laura, or of Eloisa and Abelard, compared with those of Romeo and Juliet? The gallantries of Petrarch are conveyed in models of polished and ornate verse; but, in spite of their elegance, we feel that they are frosty as the Alps beneath which they were written. They are only the exercises of genius, not the ebullitionsof feeling; and we can easily credit the story that Petrarch refused a dispensation to marry Laura, lest marriage might spoil his poetry. The muse, and not the lady, was his mistress. In the case of Abelard there are many associations which are not agreeable; and, after all, we can hardly help looking upon him as a fitter hero for Bayle's Dictionary than a romance. In Romeo and Juliet we have the poetry of Petrarch without its iciness, and the passion of Eloisa free from its coarse exhibition. We have, too, philosophy far more profound than ever was scattered over the syllogistic pages of Abelard, full of knowledge and acuteness as they undoubtedly are.

But I am not about to consider Romeo merely as a lover, or to use him as an illustration of Lysander's often-quoted line,

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

In that course the current has been as rough to others as to Romeo; who, in spite of all his misfortunes, has wooed and won the lady of his affections. That Lysander's line is often true, cannot be questioned; though it is no more than the exaggeration of an annoyed suitor to say that love hasneverrun smoothly. The reason why it should be so generally true, is given in "Peveril of the Peak" by Sir Walter Scott; a man who closely approached to the genius of Shakspeare in depicting character, and who, above all writers of imagination, most nearly resembled him in the possession of keen, shrewd, every-day common-sense, rendered more remarkable by the contrast of the romantic, pathetic, and picturesque by which it is in all directions surrounded.

"This celebrated passage

['Ah me! for aught that ever I could read,' &c.]

which we have prefixed to this chapter, [chap. xii. vol. i. Peveril of the Peak,] has, like most observations of the same author, its foundation in real experience. The period at which love is felt most strongly is seldom that at which there is much prospect of its being brought to a happy issue. In fine, there are few men who do not look back in secret to some period of their youth at which a sincere and early affection was repulsed or betrayed, or became abortive under opposing circumstances. It is these little passages of secret history, which leave a tinge of romance in every bosom, scarce permitting us, even in the most busy or the most advanced period of life, to listen with total indifference to a tale of true love."[5]

These remarks, the justice of which cannot be questioned, scarcely apply to the case of Romeo. In no respect, save that the families were at variance, was the match between him and Juliet such as not to afford a prospect of happy issue; and everything indicated the possibility of making their marriage a ground of reconciliation between their respective houses. Both are tired of the quarrel. Lady Capulet and Lady Montague are introduced in the very first scene of the play, endeavouring to pacify their husbands; and, when the brawl is over, Paris laments to Juliet's father that it is a pity persons ofsuch honourable reckoning should have lived so long at variance. For Romeo himself old Capulet expresses the highest respect, as being one of the ornaments of the city; and, after the death of Juliet, old Montague, touched by her truth and constancy, proposes to raise to her a statue of gold. With such sentiments and predispositions, the early passion of the Veronese lovers does not come within the canon of Sir Walter Scott; and, as I have said, I do not think that Romeo is designed merely as an exhibition of a man unfortunate in love.

I consider him to be meant as the character of anunluckyman,—a man who, with the best views and fairest intentions, is perpetually so unfortunate as to fail in every aspiration, and, while exerting himself to the utmost in their behalf, to involve all whom he holds dearest in misery and ruin. At the commencement of the play an idle quarrel among some low retainers of the rival families produces a general riot, with which he has nothing to do. He is not present from beginning to end; the tumult has been so sudden and unexpected, that his father is obliged to ask

"What set this ancient quarrel new abroach?"

And yet it is this very quarrel which lays him prostrate in death by his own hand, outside Capulet's monument, before the tragedy concludes. While the fray was going on, he was nursing love-fancies, and endeavouring to persuade himself that his heart was breaking for Rosaline. How afflicting his passion must have been, we see by the conundrums he makes upon it:

"Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears.[6]What is it else?—a madness most discreet,A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."—

"Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears.[6]What is it else?—a madness most discreet,A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."—

"Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears.[6]What is it else?—a madness most discreet,A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."—

"Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;

Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;

Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears.[6]

What is it else?—a madness most discreet,

A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."—

And so forth. The sorrows which we can balance in such trim antitheses do not lie very deep. The time is rapidly advancing when his sentences will be less sounding.

"It is my lady; oh, it is my love!O that she knew she were!"—

"It is my lady; oh, it is my love!O that she knew she were!"—

"It is my lady; oh, it is my love!O that she knew she were!"—

"It is my lady; oh, it is my love!

O that she knew she were!"—

speaks more touchingly the state of his engrossed soul than all the fine metaphors ever vented. The supercilious Spartans in the days of their success prided themselves upon the laconic brevity of their despatches to states in hostility or alliance with them. When they were sinking before the Macedonians, another style was adopted; and Philip observed that he had taught them to lengthen their monosyllables. Real love has had a contrary effect upon Romeo. It has abridged his swelling passages, and brought him to the language of prose. The reason of the alteration is the same in both cases. The brevity of the Spartans was the result of studied affectation. They sought, by the insolence of threats obscurely insinuated in a sort of demi-oracular language, to impose upon others,—perhaps they imposed upon themselves,—an extravagant opinion of their mysteriouspower. The secret was found out at last, and their anger bubbled over in big words and lengthened sentences. The love of Rosaline is as much affected on the part of Romeo, and it explodes in wire-drawn conceits.

"When the devout religion of mine eyeMaintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;And those who often drown'd could never die,Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars.One fairer than my love!—the all-seeing sunNe'er saw her match since first the world begun."

"When the devout religion of mine eyeMaintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;And those who often drown'd could never die,Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars.One fairer than my love!—the all-seeing sunNe'er saw her match since first the world begun."

"When the devout religion of mine eyeMaintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;And those who often drown'd could never die,Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars.One fairer than my love!—the all-seeing sunNe'er saw her match since first the world begun."

"When the devout religion of mine eye

Maintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;

And those who often drown'd could never die,

Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars.

One fairer than my love!—the all-seeing sun

Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun."

It is no wonder that a gentleman who is so clever as to be able to say such extremely fine things, forgets, in the next scene, the devout religion of his eye, without any apprehension of the transparent heretic being burnt for a liar by the transmutation of tears into the flames of anauto da fe. He is doomed to discover that love in his case is not a madness most discreet when he defies the stars; there are then no lines of magnificent declamation.

"Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!Thou knowest my lodging: get me ink and paper,And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night."

"Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!Thou knowest my lodging: get me ink and paper,And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night."

"Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!Thou knowest my lodging: get me ink and paper,And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night."

"Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!

Thou knowest my lodging: get me ink and paper,

And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night."

Nothing can be plainer prose than these verses. But how were they delivered? Balthazar will tell us.

"Pardon me, sir; I dare not leave you thus:Your looks are pale and wild, and do importSome misadventure."

"Pardon me, sir; I dare not leave you thus:Your looks are pale and wild, and do importSome misadventure."

"Pardon me, sir; I dare not leave you thus:Your looks are pale and wild, and do importSome misadventure."

"Pardon me, sir; I dare not leave you thus:

Your looks are pale and wild, and do import

Some misadventure."

Again, nothing can be more quiet than his final determination:

"Well, Juliet, I will lie with thee to-night."

It is plain Juliet,—unattended by any romantic epithet of love. There is nothing about "Cupid's arrow," or "Dian's wit;" no honeyed word escapes his lips,—nor again does any accent of despair. His mind is so made up,—the whole course of the short remainder of his life so unalterably fixed, that it is perfectly useless to think more about it He has full leisure to reflect without disturbance upon the details of the squalid penury which made him set down the poor apothecary as a fit instrument for what now had become his "need;" and he offers his proposition of purchasing that soon-speeding gear which is to hurry him out of life, with the same business-like tone as if he were purchasing a pennyworth of sugar-candy. When the apothecary suggests the danger of selling such drugs, Romeo can reflect on the folly of scrupling to sacrifice life when the holder of it is so poor and unfortunate. Gallant and gay of appearance himself, he tells his new-found acquaintance that bareness, famine, oppression, ragged misery, the hollow cheek and the hungry eye, are fitting reasons why death should be desired, not avoided; and with a cool philosophy assures him that gold is worse poison than the compound which hurries the life-weary taker out of the world. The language of desperation cannot be more dismally determined. What did the apothecary think of his customer as he pocketed the forty ducats? There you go, lad,—there you go, he might have said,—there you go with that in your girdle that, if you had the strength of twenty men, would straightdespatch you. Well do I know the use for which you intend it. To-morrow's sun sees not you alive. And you philosophise to me on the necessity of buying food and getting into flesh. You taunt my poverty,—you laugh at my rags,—you bid me defy the law,—you tell me the world is my enemy. It may be so, lad,—it may be so; but less tattered is my garment than your heart,—less harassed by law of one kind or another my pursuit than yours. What ails that lad? I know not, neither do I care. But that he should moralise to me on the hard lot which I experience,—that he, with those looks and those accents, should fancy that I, amid my beggarly account of empty boxes, am less happy than he,—ha! ha! ha!—it is something to make one laugh. Ride your way, boy: I have your forty ducats in my purse, and you my drug in your pocket. And the law! Well! What can the executioner do worse to me in my penury and my age than you have doomed for yourself in your youth and splendour. I carry not my hangman in my saddle as I ride along. And the curses which the rabble may pour upon my dying moments,—what are they to the howling gurgle which, now rising from your heart, is deafening your ears? Adieu, boy,—adieu!—and keep your philosophy for yourself. Ho! ho! ho!

But had any other passion or pursuit occupied Romeo, he would have been equally unlucky as in his love. Ill fortune has marked him for her own. From beginning to end he intends the best; but his interfering is ever for the worst. It is evident that he has not taken any part in the family feud which divides Verona, and his first attachment is to a lady of the antagonist house.[7]To see that lady,—perhaps to mark that he has had no share in the tumult of the morning,—he goes to a ball given by Capulet, at which the suitor accepted by the family is to be introduced to Juliet as her intended husband. Paris is in every way an eligible match.

"Verona's summer hath not such a flower."

He who has slain him addresses his corse as that of the "noble County Paris," with a kindly remembrance that he was kinsman of a friend slain in Romeo's own cause. Nothing can be more fervent, more honourable, or more delicate than his devoted and considerate wooing. His grief at the loss of Juliet is expressed in few words; but its sincerity is told by his midnight and secret visit to the tomb of her whom living he had honoured, and on whom, when dead, he could notrestrain himself from lavishing funereal homage. Secure of the favour of her father, no serious objection could be anticipated from herself. When questioned by her mother, she readily promises obedience to parental wishes, and goes to the ball determined to "look to like, if looking liking move." Everything glides on in smooth current till the appearance of him whose presence is deadly. Romeo himself is a most reluctant visitor. He apprehends that the consequences of the night's revels will be the vile forfeit of a despised life by an untimely death, but submits to his destiny. He foresees that it is no wit to go, but consoles himself with the reflection that he "means well in going to this mask." His intentions, as usual, are good; and, as usual, their consequences are ruinous.

He yields to his passion, and marries Juliet. For this hasty act he has the excuse that the match may put an end to the discord between the families. Friar Lawrence hopes that

"this alliance may so happy proveTo turn your households' rancour into love."

"this alliance may so happy proveTo turn your households' rancour into love."

"this alliance may so happy proveTo turn your households' rancour into love."

"this alliance may so happy prove

To turn your households' rancour into love."

It certainly has that effect in the end of the play, but it is by the suicidal deaths of the flower and hope of both families. Capulet and Montague tender, in a gloomy peace the hands of friendship, over the untimely grave of the poor sacrifices to their enmity. Had he met her elsewhere than in her father's house, he might have succeeded in a more prosperous love. But there his visit is looked upon by the professed duellist Tybalt, hot from the encounter of the morning, and enraged that he was baulked of a victim, as an intrusion and an insult. The fiery partisan is curbed with much difficulty by his uncle; and withdraws, his flesh trembling with wilful choler, determined to wreak vengeance at the first opportunity on the intruder. It is not long before the opportunity offers. Vainly does Romeo endeavour to pacify the bullying swordsman,—vainly does he protest that he loves the name of Capulet,—vainly does he decline the proffered duel. His good intentions are again doomed to be frustrated. There stands by his side as mad-blooded a spirit as Tybalt himself, and Mercutio, all unconscious of the reasons why Romeo refuses to fight, takes up the abandoned quarrel. The star of the unlucky man is ever in the ascendant. His ill-omened interference slays his friend. Had he kept quiet, the issue might have been different; but the power that had the steerage of his course had destined that the uplifting of his sword was to be the signal of death to his very friend. And when the dying Mercutio says, "Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm;" he can only offer the excuse, which is always true, and always unavailing, "I thought all for the best." All his visions of reconciliation between the houses are dissipated. How can he now avoid fighting with Tybalt? His best friend lies dead, slain in his own quarrel, through his own accursed intermeddling; and the swaggering victor, still hot from the slaughter, comes back to triumph over the dead. Who with the heart and spirit of a man could under such circumstances refrain from exclaiming,

"Away to heaven, respective lenity!And fire-eyed fury be my conduct now."

"Away to heaven, respective lenity!And fire-eyed fury be my conduct now."

"Away to heaven, respective lenity!And fire-eyed fury be my conduct now."

"Away to heaven, respective lenity!

And fire-eyed fury be my conduct now."

Vanish gentle breath, calm words, knees humbly bowed!—his weaponin an instant glitters in the blazing sun; and as with a lightning flash,—as rapidly and resistlessly,—before Benvolio can pull his sword from the scabbard, Tybalt, whom his kindred deemed a match for twenty men, is laid by the side of him who but a moment before had been the victim of his blade. What avails the practised science of the duellist, the gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause!—how weak is the immortal passado, or the punto reverso, the hay, or all the other learned devices of Vincent Saviola, against the whirlwind rage of a man driven to desperation by all that can rouse fury or stimulate hatred! He sees the blood of his friend red upon the ground; the accents of gross and unprovoked outrage ring in his ears; the perverse and obstinate insolence of a bravo confident in his skill, and depending upon it to insure him impunity, has marred his hopes; and the butcher of the silk button has no chance against the demon which he has evoked. "A la stoccata" carries it not away in this encounter; but Romeo exults not in his death. He stands amazed, and is with difficulty hurried off, exclaiming against the constant fate which perpetually throws him in the way of misfortune. Well, indeed, may Friar Lawrence address him by the title of "thou fearful man!"—as a man whose career through life is calculated to inspire terror. Well may he say to him that

"Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,And thou art wedded to calamity."

"Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,And thou art wedded to calamity."

"Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,And thou art wedded to calamity."

"Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,

And thou art wedded to calamity."

And slight is the attention which Romeo pays to the eloquent arguments by which it is proved that he had every reason to consider himself happy. When the friar assures him that

"A pack of blessings lights upon thy back,Happiness courts thee in her best array,"

"A pack of blessings lights upon thy back,Happiness courts thee in her best array,"

"A pack of blessings lights upon thy back,Happiness courts thee in her best array,"

"A pack of blessings lights upon thy back,

Happiness courts thee in her best array,"

the nurse may think it a discourse of learning and good counsel, fit to detain an enraptured auditor all the night. Romeo feels it in his case to be an idle declamation, unworthy of an answer.

The events which occur during his enforced absence, the haste of Paris to be wedded, the zeal of old Capulet in promoting the wishes of his expected son-in-law, the desperate expedient of the sleeping-draught,[8]the accident which prevented the delivery of the friar's letter, the officious haste of Balthazar to communicate the tidings of Juliet's burial, are all matters out of his control. But the mode of his death is chosen by himself; and in that he is as unlucky as in everything else. Utterly loathing life, the manner of his leaving it must be instantaneous. He stipulates that the poison by which he is to die shall not be slow of effect. He calls for

"such soon-speeding gearAs will disperse itself through all the veins,That the life-weary taker may fall dead."

"such soon-speeding gearAs will disperse itself through all the veins,That the life-weary taker may fall dead."

"such soon-speeding gearAs will disperse itself through all the veins,That the life-weary taker may fall dead."

"such soon-speeding gear

As will disperse itself through all the veins,

That the life-weary taker may fall dead."

He leaves himself no chance of escape. Instant death is in his hand; and, thanking the true apothecary for the quickness of his drugs, he scarcely leaves himself a moment with a kiss to die. If he had been less in a hurry,—if he had not felt it impossible to delay posting off to Verona for a single night,—if his riding had been less rapid, or his medicine less sudden in its effect, he might have lived. The friar was at hand to release Juliet from her tomb the very instant after the fatal phial had been emptied. That instant was enough: the unlucky man had effected his purpose just when there was still a chance that things might be amended. Those who wrote the scene between Romeo and Juliet which is intended to be pathetic, after her awakening and before his death, quite mistake the character of the hero of the play. I do not blame them for their poetry, which is as good as that of second-rate writers of tragedy in general; and think them, on the whole, deserving of our commendation for giving us an additional proof how unable clever men upon town are to follow the conceptions of genius. Shakspeare, if he thought it consistent with the character which he had with so much deliberation framed, could have written a parting scene at least as good as that with whichhis tragedy has been supplied; but he saw the inconsistency, though his unasked assistants did not. They tell us they did it to consult popular taste. I do not believe them. I am sure that popular taste would approve of a recurrence to the old play in all its parts; but a harlotry play-actor might think it hard upon him to be deprived of a "point," pointless as that point may be.

Haste is made a remarkable characteristic of Romeo,—because it is at once the parent and the child of uniform misfortune. As from the acorn springs the oak, and from the oak the acorn, so does the temperament that inclines to haste predispose to misadventure, and a continuance of misadventure confirms the habit of haste. A man whom his rashness has made continually unlucky, is strengthened in the determination to persevere in his rapid movements by the very feeling that the "run" is against him, and that it is of no use to think. In the case of Romeo, he leaves it all to the steerage of Heaven,i. e.to the heady current of his own passions; and he succeeds accordingly. All through the play care is taken to show his impatience. The very first word he speaks indicates that he is anxious for the quick passage of time.

"Ben.Good morrow, cousin.Rom.Is the day so young?Ben.But new struck nine.Rom.Ay me, sad hours seem long."

The same impatience marks his speech in the moment of death:

"O true apothecary,Thy drugs are quick!"

"O true apothecary,Thy drugs are quick!"

"O true apothecary,Thy drugs are quick!"

"O true apothecary,

Thy drugs are quick!"

From his first words to his last the feeling is the same. The lady of his love, even in the full swell of her awakened affections, cannot avoid remarking that his contract is

"Too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,Too like the lightning, which does cease to beEre one can say, It lightens."

"Too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,Too like the lightning, which does cease to beEre one can say, It lightens."

"Too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,Too like the lightning, which does cease to beEre one can say, It lightens."

"Too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,

Too like the lightning, which does cease to be

Ere one can say, It lightens."

When he urges his marriage on the friar,

"Rom.O let us home: I stand on sudden haste.Friar.Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast."

"Rom.O let us home: I stand on sudden haste.Friar.Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast."

"Rom.O let us home: I stand on sudden haste.

"Rom.O let us home: I stand on sudden haste.

Friar.Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast."

Friar.Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast."

The metaphors put into his mouth are remarkable for their allusions to abrupt and violent haste. He wishes that he may die

"As violently as hasty powder firedDoth hurry from the fatal cannon's womb."

"As violently as hasty powder firedDoth hurry from the fatal cannon's womb."

"As violently as hasty powder firedDoth hurry from the fatal cannon's womb."

"As violently as hasty powder fired

Doth hurry from the fatal cannon's womb."

When he thinks that Juliet mentions his name in anger, it is

"as if that name,Shot from the deadly level of a gun,Did murder her."

"as if that name,Shot from the deadly level of a gun,Did murder her."

"as if that name,Shot from the deadly level of a gun,Did murder her."

"as if that name,

Shot from the deadly level of a gun,

Did murder her."

When Lawrence remonstrates with him on his violence, he compares the use to which he puts his wit to

"Powder in a skilless soldier's flask;"

and tells him that

"Violent delights have violent ends,And in their triumph die; like fire and powder,Which, as they kiss, consume."

"Violent delights have violent ends,And in their triumph die; like fire and powder,Which, as they kiss, consume."

"Violent delights have violent ends,And in their triumph die; like fire and powder,Which, as they kiss, consume."

"Violent delights have violent ends,

And in their triumph die; like fire and powder,

Which, as they kiss, consume."

Lightning, flame, shot, explosion, are the favourite parallels to the conduct and career of Romeo. Swift are his loves; as swift to enter his thought, the mischief which ends them for ever. Rapid have been all the pulsations of his life; as rapid, the determination which decides that they shall beat no more.

A gentleman he was in heart and soul. All his habitual companions love him: Benvolio and Mercutio, who represent the young gentlemen of his house, are ready to peril their lives, and to strain all their energies, serious or gay, in his service. His father is filled with an anxiety on his account so delicate, that he will not venture to interfere with his son's private sorrows, while he desires to discover their source, and if possible to relieve them. The heart of his mother bursts in his calamity; the head of the rival house bestows upon him the warmest panegyrics; the tutor of his youth sacrifices everything to gratify his wishes; his servant, though no man is a hero to hisvalet de chambre, dares not remonstrate with him on his intentions, even when they are avowed to be savage-wild,

"More fierce, and more inexorable far,Than empty tigers or the roaring sea,"—

"More fierce, and more inexorable far,Than empty tigers or the roaring sea,"—

"More fierce, and more inexorable far,Than empty tigers or the roaring sea,"—

"More fierce, and more inexorable far,

Than empty tigers or the roaring sea,"—

but with an eager solicitude he breaks his commands by remaining as close as he can venture, to watch over his safety. Kind is he to all. He wins the heart of the romantic Juliet by his tender gallantry: the worldly-minded nurse praises him for being as gentle as a lamb. When it is necessary or natural that the Prince or Lady Montague should speak harshly of him, it is done in his absence. No words of anger or reproach are addressed to his ears save by Tybalt; and from him they are in some sort a compliment, as signifying that the self-chosen prize-fighter of the opposing party deems Romeo the worthiest antagonist of his blade. We find that he fights two blood-stained duels, but both are forced upon him; the first under circumstances impossible of avoidance, the last after the humblest supplications to be excused.

"O begone!By Heaven, I love thee better than myself,For I came hither armed against myself.Stay not; begone!—live, and hereafter sayA madman's mercy bade thee run away."

"O begone!By Heaven, I love thee better than myself,For I came hither armed against myself.Stay not; begone!—live, and hereafter sayA madman's mercy bade thee run away."

"O begone!By Heaven, I love thee better than myself,For I came hither armed against myself.Stay not; begone!—live, and hereafter sayA madman's mercy bade thee run away."

"O begone!

By Heaven, I love thee better than myself,

For I came hither armed against myself.

Stay not; begone!—live, and hereafter say

A madman's mercy bade thee run away."

With all the qualities and emotions which can inspire affection and esteem,—with all the advantages that birth, heaven, and earth could at once confer,—with the most honourable feelings and the kindliest intentions,—he is eminently an unlucky man. The record of his actions in the play before us does not extend to the period of a week; but we feel that there is no dramatic straining to shorten their course. Everything occurs naturally and probably. It was his concluding week; but it tells us all his life. Fortune was against him; and would have been against him, no matter what might have been his pursuit. He was born to win battles, but to lose campaigns. If we desired to moralize with the harsh-minded satirist, who never can be suspected of romance, we should join with him in extracting as a moral from the play

"Nullum habes numen, si sit prudentia; sed teNos facimus, Fortuna, deam, cœloquê locamus;"

"Nullum habes numen, si sit prudentia; sed teNos facimus, Fortuna, deam, cœloquê locamus;"

"Nullum habes numen, si sit prudentia; sed teNos facimus, Fortuna, deam, cœloquê locamus;"

"Nullum habes numen, si sit prudentia; sed te

Nos facimus, Fortuna, deam, cœloquê locamus;"

and attribute the mishaps of Romeo, not to want of fortune, but of prudence. Philosophy and poetry differ not in essentials, and the stern censure of Juvenal is just. But still, when looking on the timeless tomb of Romeo, and contemplating the short and sad career through which he ran, we cannot help recollecting his mourning words over his dying friend, and suggest as an inscription over the monument of the luckless gentleman,

"I thought all for the best."

THE PIPER'S PROGRESS.BY FATHER PROUT.1.When I was a boyIn my father's mud edifice,Tender and bareAs a pig in a sty;Out of the door as ILooked with a steady phiz,Who but Thade Murphy,The piper, went by;Says Thady, "But few playThis music—canyouplay?"Says I, "I can't tell,For I never did try."So he told me thathehad a charmTo make the pipes purtily speak;Then squeezed a bag under his arm,When sweetly they set up a squeak!Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Och hone!How he handled the drone!And then the sweet music he blewWould have melted the heart of a stone!I.Pater me clauseratDomi homunculum;Grunniens sus eratComes, ut mos:Transibat tibicenJuxta domunculam,Quando per januamProtuli os;Ille ait impromptu,"Hâc tibiâ num tu,Ut te sine sumptuEdoceam, vis?"Tum pressit amiculamSub ulnâ vesiculamQuæ sonum reddiditVocibus his:Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Φευ, ϕευ!Modo flens, modo flans,MagicoελελευCor et aurem vel lapidi dans!2."Your pipe," says I, "Thady,So neatly comes over me,Naked I'll wanderWherever it blows;And, if my poor parentsShould try to recover me,Sure it won't beBy describing my clothes.The music I hear nowTakes hold of my ear now,And leads me all overThe world by the nose."So I follow'd his bagpipe so sweet,And I sung, as I leapt like a frog,"Adieu to my family seat,So pleasantly placed in a bog!"Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Och hone!How we handled the drone!And then the sweet music we blewWould have melted the heart of a stone!II.Cui ego tum: "Tu sic, ah!Me rapis musicâ,Ut sequar nudulusTibicen, te!Et si pater, testibus,Quærat me, vestibus,Redibit, ædepol!Vacuâ re.Sic melos quod audioMe replet gaudioUt trahor campos etFlumina trans;"Jam linquo rudibusHic in paludibus,"Patris tiguriumSplendidè stans."Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Dum tibicen, tu,Modo flens, modo flans,Iterasελελευ,Cor et aurem vel lapidi dans.3.Full five years I follow'd him,Nothing could sunder us;Till he one morningHad taken a sup,And slipt from a bridgeIn a river just under us,Souse to the bottomJust like a blind pup.He roar'd, and he bawl'd out;And I also call'd out,"Now, Thady, my friend,Don't you mean to come up?" ...He was dead as a nail in a door;Poor Thady was laid on the shelf.So I took up his pipes on the shore,And now I've set up for myself.Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Och hone!Don't I handle the drone,And play such sweet music? I too,Can't I soften the heart of a stone?III.Ut arte sic magicâEgi quinquennium,Magistro tragicaAccidit res;Bacchi nam numine,Pontis cacumineDum staret, flumineLabitur pes!"E sinu fluctuum,O puer, duc tuum(Clamat) didascalum,Fer opem nans!" ...Ast ego renuo;Et sumens denuòLittore tibiasSustuli, fans,Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Φευ, ϕευ!Modo flens, modo flans,MagicoελελευCor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

BY FATHER PROUT.

1.When I was a boyIn my father's mud edifice,Tender and bareAs a pig in a sty;Out of the door as ILooked with a steady phiz,Who but Thade Murphy,The piper, went by;Says Thady, "But few playThis music—canyouplay?"Says I, "I can't tell,For I never did try."So he told me thathehad a charmTo make the pipes purtily speak;Then squeezed a bag under his arm,When sweetly they set up a squeak!Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Och hone!How he handled the drone!And then the sweet music he blewWould have melted the heart of a stone!

1.

1.

When I was a boyIn my father's mud edifice,Tender and bareAs a pig in a sty;Out of the door as ILooked with a steady phiz,Who but Thade Murphy,The piper, went by;Says Thady, "But few playThis music—canyouplay?"Says I, "I can't tell,For I never did try."So he told me thathehad a charmTo make the pipes purtily speak;Then squeezed a bag under his arm,When sweetly they set up a squeak!Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

When I was a boy

In my father's mud edifice,

Tender and bare

As a pig in a sty;

Out of the door as I

Looked with a steady phiz,

Who but Thade Murphy,

The piper, went by;

Says Thady, "But few play

This music—canyouplay?"

Says I, "I can't tell,

For I never did try."

So he told me thathehad a charm

To make the pipes purtily speak;

Then squeezed a bag under his arm,

When sweetly they set up a squeak!

Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Och hone!How he handled the drone!And then the sweet music he blewWould have melted the heart of a stone!

Och hone!

How he handled the drone!

And then the sweet music he blew

Would have melted the heart of a stone!

I.Pater me clauseratDomi homunculum;Grunniens sus eratComes, ut mos:Transibat tibicenJuxta domunculam,Quando per januamProtuli os;Ille ait impromptu,"Hâc tibiâ num tu,Ut te sine sumptuEdoceam, vis?"Tum pressit amiculamSub ulnâ vesiculamQuæ sonum reddiditVocibus his:Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Φευ, ϕευ!Modo flens, modo flans,MagicoελελευCor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

I.

I.

Pater me clauseratDomi homunculum;Grunniens sus eratComes, ut mos:Transibat tibicenJuxta domunculam,Quando per januamProtuli os;Ille ait impromptu,"Hâc tibiâ num tu,Ut te sine sumptuEdoceam, vis?"Tum pressit amiculamSub ulnâ vesiculamQuæ sonum reddiditVocibus his:Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Pater me clauserat

Domi homunculum;

Grunniens sus erat

Comes, ut mos:

Transibat tibicen

Juxta domunculam,

Quando per januam

Protuli os;

Ille ait impromptu,

"Hâc tibiâ num tu,

Ut te sine sumptu

Edoceam, vis?"

Tum pressit amiculam

Sub ulnâ vesiculam

Quæ sonum reddidit

Vocibus his:

Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Φευ, ϕευ!Modo flens, modo flans,MagicoελελευCor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

Φευ, ϕευ!

Modo flens, modo flans,

Magicoελελευ

Cor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

2."Your pipe," says I, "Thady,So neatly comes over me,Naked I'll wanderWherever it blows;And, if my poor parentsShould try to recover me,Sure it won't beBy describing my clothes.The music I hear nowTakes hold of my ear now,And leads me all overThe world by the nose."So I follow'd his bagpipe so sweet,And I sung, as I leapt like a frog,"Adieu to my family seat,So pleasantly placed in a bog!"Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Och hone!How we handled the drone!And then the sweet music we blewWould have melted the heart of a stone!

2.

2.

"Your pipe," says I, "Thady,So neatly comes over me,Naked I'll wanderWherever it blows;And, if my poor parentsShould try to recover me,Sure it won't beBy describing my clothes.The music I hear nowTakes hold of my ear now,And leads me all overThe world by the nose."So I follow'd his bagpipe so sweet,And I sung, as I leapt like a frog,"Adieu to my family seat,So pleasantly placed in a bog!"Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

"Your pipe," says I, "Thady,

So neatly comes over me,

Naked I'll wander

Wherever it blows;

And, if my poor parents

Should try to recover me,

Sure it won't be

By describing my clothes.

The music I hear now

Takes hold of my ear now,

And leads me all over

The world by the nose."

So I follow'd his bagpipe so sweet,

And I sung, as I leapt like a frog,

"Adieu to my family seat,

So pleasantly placed in a bog!"

Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Och hone!How we handled the drone!And then the sweet music we blewWould have melted the heart of a stone!

Och hone!

How we handled the drone!

And then the sweet music we blew

Would have melted the heart of a stone!

II.Cui ego tum: "Tu sic, ah!Me rapis musicâ,Ut sequar nudulusTibicen, te!Et si pater, testibus,Quærat me, vestibus,Redibit, ædepol!Vacuâ re.Sic melos quod audioMe replet gaudioUt trahor campos etFlumina trans;"Jam linquo rudibusHic in paludibus,"Patris tiguriumSplendidè stans."Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Dum tibicen, tu,Modo flens, modo flans,Iterasελελευ,Cor et aurem vel lapidi dans.

II.

II.

Cui ego tum: "Tu sic, ah!Me rapis musicâ,Ut sequar nudulusTibicen, te!Et si pater, testibus,Quærat me, vestibus,Redibit, ædepol!Vacuâ re.Sic melos quod audioMe replet gaudioUt trahor campos etFlumina trans;"Jam linquo rudibusHic in paludibus,"Patris tiguriumSplendidè stans."Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Cui ego tum: "Tu sic, ah!

Me rapis musicâ,

Ut sequar nudulus

Tibicen, te!

Et si pater, testibus,

Quærat me, vestibus,

Redibit, ædepol!

Vacuâ re.

Sic melos quod audio

Me replet gaudio

Ut trahor campos et

Flumina trans;"

Jam linquo rudibus

Hic in paludibus,

"Patris tigurium

Splendidè stans."

Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Dum tibicen, tu,Modo flens, modo flans,Iterasελελευ,Cor et aurem vel lapidi dans.

Dum tibicen, tu,

Modo flens, modo flans,

Iterasελελευ,

Cor et aurem vel lapidi dans.

3.Full five years I follow'd him,Nothing could sunder us;Till he one morningHad taken a sup,And slipt from a bridgeIn a river just under us,Souse to the bottomJust like a blind pup.He roar'd, and he bawl'd out;And I also call'd out,"Now, Thady, my friend,Don't you mean to come up?" ...He was dead as a nail in a door;Poor Thady was laid on the shelf.So I took up his pipes on the shore,And now I've set up for myself.Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Och hone!Don't I handle the drone,And play such sweet music? I too,Can't I soften the heart of a stone?

3.

3.

Full five years I follow'd him,Nothing could sunder us;Till he one morningHad taken a sup,And slipt from a bridgeIn a river just under us,Souse to the bottomJust like a blind pup.He roar'd, and he bawl'd out;And I also call'd out,"Now, Thady, my friend,Don't you mean to come up?" ...He was dead as a nail in a door;Poor Thady was laid on the shelf.So I took up his pipes on the shore,And now I've set up for myself.Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Full five years I follow'd him,

Nothing could sunder us;

Till he one morning

Had taken a sup,

And slipt from a bridge

In a river just under us,

Souse to the bottom

Just like a blind pup.

He roar'd, and he bawl'd out;

And I also call'd out,

"Now, Thady, my friend,

Don't you mean to come up?" ...

He was dead as a nail in a door;

Poor Thady was laid on the shelf.

So I took up his pipes on the shore,

And now I've set up for myself.

Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Och hone!Don't I handle the drone,And play such sweet music? I too,Can't I soften the heart of a stone?

Och hone!

Don't I handle the drone,

And play such sweet music? I too,

Can't I soften the heart of a stone?

III.Ut arte sic magicâEgi quinquennium,Magistro tragicaAccidit res;Bacchi nam numine,Pontis cacumineDum staret, flumineLabitur pes!"E sinu fluctuum,O puer, duc tuum(Clamat) didascalum,Fer opem nans!" ...Ast ego renuo;Et sumens denuòLittore tibiasSustuli, fans,Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!Φευ, ϕευ!Modo flens, modo flans,MagicoελελευCor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

III.

III.

Ut arte sic magicâEgi quinquennium,Magistro tragicaAccidit res;Bacchi nam numine,Pontis cacumineDum staret, flumineLabitur pes!"E sinu fluctuum,O puer, duc tuum(Clamat) didascalum,Fer opem nans!" ...Ast ego renuo;Et sumens denuòLittore tibiasSustuli, fans,Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Ut arte sic magicâ

Egi quinquennium,

Magistro tragica

Accidit res;

Bacchi nam numine,

Pontis cacumine

Dum staret, flumine

Labitur pes!

"E sinu fluctuum,

O puer, duc tuum

(Clamat) didascalum,

Fer opem nans!" ...

Ast ego renuo;

Et sumens denuò

Littore tibias

Sustuli, fans,

Fa-ra-la la-ra-la loo!

Φευ, ϕευ!Modo flens, modo flans,MagicoελελευCor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

Φευ, ϕευ!

Modo flens, modo flans,

Magicoελελευ

Cor et aurem vel lapidi dans!

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