[A]The costumes for maid-servants change frequently, only in slight details, but enough to warrant specific research at the time the servant is outfitted. A large department store, or a store devoted exclusively to the liveries of servants, will be able to tell you exactly the correct costumes for maid-servants at the present time. Or you may find the desired information in a current housekeeping magazine.
[A]The costumes for maid-servants change frequently, only in slight details, but enough to warrant specific research at the time the servant is outfitted. A large department store, or a store devoted exclusively to the liveries of servants, will be able to tell you exactly the correct costumes for maid-servants at the present time. Or you may find the desired information in a current housekeeping magazine.
The maid-servants never wear jewelry or other finerywhile they are on duty. One very simple brooch, or perhaps a pair of cuff links, is permissible; but bracelets, rings and neck ornaments are in bad taste. Elaborate dressing of the hair should also be avoided, and careless, untidy dressing should never be countenanced.
The lady's maid does not take part in the general housework. Her duties are solely to care for the wardrobe of her mistress, to assist her at her toilette, to draw her bath, to lay out her clothes and keep her room tidy. But she does not sweep or dust the room or make the bed—these are the duties of the chamber-maid. If she is an accomplished maid she will probably do a great deal of sewing, and perhaps she will massage her mistress' hair and manicure her nails. But these duties are not to be expected; the mistress who finds her maid is willing to do these things for her, is indeed fortunate.
A black dress in winter, and a black skirt and waist in summer, worn with a small, dainty white apron comprises the costume of the lady's maid. Stiff white cuffs and collar add a touch of prim neatness which is most desirable. At the present time, the tiny white cap formerly worn by lady's maids has been almost entirely dispensed with.
When traveling with her mistress, the lady's maid should wear only very simple and inconspicuous clothes. A tweed suit worn with a neat blouse, or a tweed coat worn over a simple dress, is the best form. Anything gaudy or elaborate worn by a lady's maid is frowned upon by polite society.
The nurse-maid should be very particular about her dress. She should always be faultlessly attired, her hair neat and well-brushed, her entire appearance displaying a tidy cleanliness.
In the house the nurse-maid wears a simple dress of wool or heavy material with a white apron and white collar and cuffs. In warmer weather she wears linen or poplin with the apron and collar and cuffs. Outdoors, she wears a long full cloak over her house dress.
The cook, who is always dressed spotlessly in white, does nothing outside the kitchen unless special arrangements have been made to the contrary. She keeps the kitchen tidy and clean, cooks the meals, helps with the dishes and perhaps attends to the furnace.
The waitress opens and airs the living-rooms, dusts the rooms and gets everything in readiness for breakfast. It is customary to excuse her as soon as the principal part of the breakfast has been served, so that she may attend to her chamber-work and be ready to come down to her breakfast by the time the family has finished. However, before she goes to her own breakfast, she is expected to clear the dining-room table and take the dishes into the kitchen.
If the waitress does not help with the chamber-work, this duty falls entirely upon the chamber-maid. She must make the beds, sweep and dust the bedrooms, and keep them immaculate. The mistress should inspect the chamber-workoccasionally for servants must not be permitted to feel that carelessness in details will be overlooked. And the mistress should also take care of her own linen-closet, unless she has a very trustworthy and competent servant; for linens should be worn alike, and not some worn constantly and others allowed to lie forgotten in a corner of the closet.
A good servant—and by "good" we mean a man or woman who goes about duties cheerfully, is respectful and willing, who is neat, well-mannered and well-trained—must be treated in the right manner if he or she is to remain such. There are so many blunders the mistress can make, so many mistakes that bring the wrong response from those who are temporarily a part of her household.
For instance, a haughty, arrogant manner towards a servant who is sensitive will by no means encourage that servant to do his or her best work. And on the other hand, a servile manner towards a good servant one is afraid of losing, encourages that servant to take liberties and become unduly familiar.
It is as difficult to be a good mistress as it is to be a good servant. Both duties require a keen understanding and appreciation of human nature, a kindliness of spirit and a desire to be helpful. Both the servant and the mistress have their trials and troubles, but they should remember that it is only through mutual helpfulness and consideration, an exacting attention to duties and responsibilities, a wise supervision and a faithful service, that harmony and happiness can be reached in the home. And both should bear in mind that this harmony and happinessis something worth-while striving for, something worth-while being patient and persistent for.
There is an old proverb which literally translated means, "By the servant the master is known." It is a good proverb for both the servant and the mistress to remember.
The greatest pride of the American hostess is her formal dinner. And it is to her credit that we mention that she can hold her own against the most aristocratic families of Europe.
There is a story told of a well-known New York society matron who gave a formal dinner party on every occasion that warranted it, no matter how trivial, for the reason that it gave her keen pleasure and enjoyment to do so. At one of her dinners recently a famous world-touring lecturer was the guest of honor—and the hostess was as happy and proud as it is possible for a hostess to be. Especially was she proud of the delectable menu she had ordered prepared for the occasion.
But much to her chagrin, she noticed that her distinguished guest was not eating the tempting hot dishes—only the vegetables, and relishes and fruits. She did not wish to appear rude, but she could not wait until dinner was over before asking him why he was not eating. "I am a vegetarian," he answered, "and I never indulge in meats."
The hostess-of-many-dinners had an inspiration. Here was an opportunity to give a unique dinner—and nothing could be more delightful for her. A week later, she sentout invitations to all her friends requesting their presence at another formal dinner to be held in honor of the visiting lecturer. This time it was a vegetarian dinner. Suffice to say that it was a huge success.
Such is the hospitality of our American hostesses that they will concede to every whim and desire of their guests. They must be pleased at all costs. The dinner is not a success unless each guest leaves a little happier than when he came—and incidentally a little better pleased with the person who happens to be giving the dinner.
First in importance, of course, is when shall the formal dinner be held? Any evening of the week may be selected—although Sunday is rarely chosen. The hour is usually between seven and eight o'clock. Invitations should be mailed a week or ten days before the date set for the dinner. The hostess may use her own judgment in deciding whether the invitations should be engraved on cards, or hand-written on note paper. The former is preferred for an elaborate dinner, the latter for a small one.
It must be remembered in inviting guests to dinner, that it is a breach of etiquette to invite a wife without her husband, or the opposite. A married couple must always be invited together. If there are other members of the family who are desired as guests at the dinner, separate invitations must be sent to them. A dinner card is always addressed to a husband and wife, and individually to single persons.
For the convenience of the host, it is a point of courtesy for every recipient of an invitation to dinner, to answerpromptly. A good rule is to decide immediately upon receiving it whether or not you will be able to attend, and follow it with a cordial answer within the next twenty-four hours. If you find that you must refuse, there must be a very good reason for doing so.
In planning the dinner party, the hostess must go over her list of friends and carefully select six or eight who would naturally be most congenial together. The number may even be as low as four, and while there can be no absolute limit to the number one may invite, there must never be more than the hostess can handle easily. If the guests are chosen carefully, with a regard for their likes and dislikes, the dinner is bound to be a happy one.
To set the formal dinner table correctly is an art in itself.
The appointments of the modern dinner table are a delight. Services are of silver and china is of the finest. Both the square or round table are appropriate, the latter being the most popular since it is easier to make attractive. A mat of asbestos or a thickness of canton flannel is first spread on the table. Over this comes the snowy, linen table-cover, falling gracefully over the sides with the four points almost touching the floor. A place is laid for each guest. The most fashionable method is to have a large lace or embroidered doily in the center of the table, and smaller ones indicating the position of the guests. A centerpiece of glass, china, silver, is usually used, over the doily or without it, and on top of this flowers. Delicate ferns are sometimes used instead of flowers, althoughroses (hot-house roses when no others are obtainable) are always the favorite at an elaborate dinner.
When the center ornament has been adjusted, it may be used as a mathematical base for all the rest of the table appointments. Candlesticks, either of silver or bronze, are artistic when placed at equal distance around the flowers. They diffuse a soft light upon the table, and by being an incentive to the recalling of old memories, they invoke conversation when there is danger of its lagging.
It is one of the charms of candlelight—this power to bring up pleasant reminiscences. Between these stately guardians of the floral centerpiece may be placed small dishes containing preserved ginger, macaroons or bon-bons.
Salt-cellars and pepper-boxes are next located on the table, and the places are laid for the guests. The proper number of forks is placed to the left. The knives and spoons are placed at the right. They are placed in the order in which they are to be used. Not more than three forks should ever appear on the table at one time. If others are needed they should be placed with their respective courses. A small square of bread, or a roll, is in the center, covered with the folded napkin, and a little to the left are the several glasses.
Care must be taken in arranging the dinner table to have both sides balanced. There is an old maxim that says, "There must be a use for everything" and this holds especially true of the table of good taste. It must not be littered with useless articles, no matter how artistic or odd, for they hamper the movements of the guests and make things unnecessarily crowded. Butter rarely appears onthe table at the formal dinner; and condiments are brought in by the servant only as they are needed.
Menu-cards are no longer used at the formal dinner, unless it is in celebration of some auspicious occasion and honored guests are present. In this case, the hostess has the menus printed or engraved in a delicate script and has one placed beside the plate of each guest. A favorite fashion is to have them printed in French. Sometime one of these cards serves for two guests, although the hostess who takes a pride in her dinners will provide each guest with one, as it serves as an appropriate souvenir of the occasion.
The lighting effect of the dining-room is important. Instead of the candles on the table there may be an electric cluster high above the table, or small candle-power electric lights on the walls. These latter produce a soft effect which is most pleasing. Glaring lights of any kind should be avoided. Candles and electric lights should never be used in conjunction.
There is nothing more conducive to thorough enjoyment of an evening, to the thorough enjoyment of a menu, than when table and appointments are perfect and artistically simple. The hostess should give as much time and thought to the preparation and arrangement of the table, as she does to the planning of the menu. She will find that her guests will appreciate novel lighting effects, surprising color tones, unusual serving innovations. And she will find that a correctly laid table will add surprisingly to the entire success of her dinner party.
The importance of correct table etiquette cannot be over-emphasized. Nothing is more vulgar, than clumsy, awkward movements at the table, and it is certainly a sign of ill-breeding deliberately to fail to act in accordance with the rules of table etiquette. The rules of dinner etiquette should be studied carefully and just as carefully followed, if one wishes to be—and everyone does—a lady or a gentleman.
Perhaps the most important thing is one's bearing at table. Very often you see a seemingly cultured gentleman in a hotel dining-room or restaurant playing with the table silver or absent-mindedly clinking glasses together. This may be overlooked in the restaurant, but at a formal dinner it is essentially bad form. When the hands are not being used, they should rest quietly in the lap—never should the elbows be rested on the table. The chair should be neither too near nor too far from the table; both are ungraceful and awkward.
The dinner napkin is from twenty to twenty-four inches across. It is folded square unless the table is somewhat crowded, when it may be folded diagonally (after having been folded square) so as to give more space around the board. If the napkins are monogrammed the monogram should be placed so as to be in plain view.
At a formal dinner the first course is on the table when the guests enter the dining-room. It consists of oysters, a canape, a fruit cocktail, grapefruit or something else ofthe same kind. Oysters on the half-shell are served bedded in crushed ice in a soup plate. This is placed on the service plate. A cocktail is served in a cocktail glass which is placed on a doily-covered plate which in turn is placed on the service plate. The silver for the first course may be on the table beside the soup spoon or it may be served with the course.
The waiter removes the first course entirely before the soup is placed. He stands at the left of each guest and removes the plates with his left hand. The soup in soup plates (not in a tureen) is placed on the service plates and when this course is over service plates as well as soup plates are removed and the entrée is served. If the plates for it are empty they are placed with the right hand but if the entrée is already on them they are placed with the left. If empty plates are supplied the waiter passes the entrée on a platter held on a folded napkin on his left hand, using his right hand to help balance it. Each guest serves himself.
At the conclusion of this course the plates are removed and empty warm plates placed for the meat course. The meat should be carved before it is brought to the table and after the waiter has served each person he serves the vegetables. If there is only one waiter it is more convenient to have the vegetables placed on the table in large vegetable dishes from which each guest serves himself. After the vegetables have gone around once they are removed but they may be passed once or twice again before the conclusion of the meal.
The salad follows. It may be served on each plate (and this is surely the more artistic way) or it may be served from a platter. After the salad the table is cleared of all plates that have been in use, of salt and pepper shakers orcellars and is crumbed before the dessert is brought in.
Usually the dessert which is nearly always ice-cream or something else frozen is served in individual dishes. Small cakes are passed with it. Other desserts besides ice-cream are served in much the same way.
When the dessert has been removed, finger-bowls half filled with water and placed on a small doily-covered plate are set before each person.
Coffee may be served at the table but it is more often served in the drawing-room.
What can be more unsightly than a napkin tucked carefully in the top of one's waistcoat? And still, how often one sees it done among men who believe that they are impressively well-bred! The proper way to use a napkin, whether it is at a formal dinner, or in a restaurant, is to unfold it only half, leaving the center fold as it is, and lay it across the knees. It may be used constantly during the meal, whenever the guest finds need for it, but it must never be completely unfolded.
When rising from the table, the napkin is placedas it ison the table. It is never folded again into its original form, as that would be an assumption on the part of the guest that the hostess would use it again before laundering. A reprehensible habit is to drop the napkin carelessly into the finger-bowl, or over the coffee cup. It should be laidonthe table, at the right of the finger-bowl.
Spoons are used when eating grapefruit and other fruits served with cream. Jellies, puddings, custards,porridges, preserves and boiled eggs are always eaten with spoons. Also, of course, soup, bouillon, coffee and tea. In the case of the three latter beverages, however, the spoon is used only to stir them once or twice and to taste them to see that they are of the desired temperature. It is never allowed to stand in the cup while the beverage is being drunk. Nor is it permissible to draw up a spoonful of soup or coffee and blow upon it; one must wait until it is sufficiently cooled of itself. In taking soup, the correct way to use the spoon is to dip it with an outward motion instead of drawing it towards one. The soup is then imbibed from the side, not the end.
In using the fork and knife, one can display a pleasing grace, or just the opposite—awkward clumsiness. It depends entirely upon how well one knows and follows the correct rules. The first rule to be remembered is that a knife is never used for any other purpose than cutting food. It is unforgiveable to use a knife to convey food to the mouth—unforgiveable and vulgar. The knife is held in the right hand and the fork in the left. When the desired morsel of food is cut, the knife is laid aside temporarily and the fork is shifted to the right hand.
The knife and fork should never be held in the same hand together, and when not being used, one or both of the utensils should rest on the plate. They should never be allowed to rest against the edge of the plate with the handles on the table; when one is through with both the knife and fork, they should be placed entirely on the plate, their tips touching at the center, their handles restingagainst the edge. They are never placed back again on the table.
The foods eaten with the fork are meats, vegetables, fish, salads, oysters and clams, lobster, ices, frozen puddings and melons. Hearts of lettuce and lettuce leaves are folded up with the fork and conveyed uncut to the mouth. If the leaves are too large to be folded conveniently, they may be cut with the blunt edge of the fork—never with a knife.
Various foods are eaten with the fingers instead of fork or spoon. Bread, for instance, is never cut but always broken into small pieces and lifted to the mouth with the fingers. Butter is seldom provided at the formal dinner, but if it is, each little piece of bread is buttered individually just before it is eaten. Crackers and cake are eaten in the same way; although some cakes anway id pastries are eaten with the fork. Those that can be eaten daintily with the fingers such as macaroons, lady-fingers, cookies, etc., should be eaten so while layer cake and elaborate pastries should be eaten with the fork.
Corn on the cob is without a doubt one of the most difficult foods to eat gracefully. And yet it is too delicious to forego the pleasure of eating it at all. It is entirely permissible to use the fingers in eating corn, holding it lightly at each end; sometimes a napkin is used in holding it. Many a foresighted hostess, when serving corn on the cob, provides each guest with a short, keen, steel-bladed knife with which the kernels may be cut from the cob easily. This is by far the most satisfactory method.
Photo by Bradley and Merrill. Courtesy of the Pictorial Review. TABLE SET FOR DINNER The decoration in the center of the table should never be so high as to form an obstructionPhoto by Bradley and Merrill. Courtesy of the Pictorial Review.TABLE SET FOR DINNERThe decoration in the center of the table should never be so high as to form an obstruction
French artichokes are also difficult to eat. The proper way is to break them apart, leaf by leaf, dip the tips in the sauce and lift them to the mouth with the fingers. The heart is cut and eaten with a fork.
Lobster claws may be pulled apart with the fingers. Shrimps also, when served whole in their shells, may be separated, peeled and eaten with the fingers. Fruits such as oranges, apples, grapes, peaches and plums are all eaten with the fingers. Celery, radishes and olives are similarly eaten. Sometimes there are other relishes on the dinner table, and the guest must use his common sense to determine whether they are eaten with the fork or fingers. Bonbons, of course, are always eaten with the fingers.
Whenever fruits are served the finger-bowl should follow. It is always used at the completion of the dinner. The bowl is half filled with tepid water and set upon a plate. A fragrant leaf may be added to the water. The fingers are dipped lightly into the bowl, one hand at a time, and then dried on the napkin. It is a mark of ill-breeding to splash the water about, to put both hands into the bowl at once, or to wet the entire palm of the hand. Only the finger tips should touch the water.
"Accidents will happen"—at the dinner table as well as anywhere else. The duty of the guest and the hostess both is to see that no confusion and embarrassment follows.
If a spoon or fork or napkin is dropped, the proper thing to do is to allow the servant to pick it up; the well-trained servant will not return it, but place it aside and give the guest another one. If a glass or cup is droppedand broken, embarrassed apologies will not put it together again, but a word of sincere regret to the hostess will relieve the awkwardness of the moment, and will be as gratifying to her as profuse apologies. If the article broken is a valuable one, the guest may replace it by sending, a day or two later, another one as nearly like it as possible. A cordial note of regret may accompany it.
Sometimes a cup of coffee or a glass of water is overturned at the table. This is, of course, a very serious and unpleasant accident, but there is no necessity in making matters worse by fussing about it and offering several exaggerated apologies. A simple word or two to the hostess will suffice; but it is really quite important that one should be careful not to let an accident of this kind happen too often, otherwise one will soon acquire the reputation of being a clumsy boor.
There is certainly no reason to feel embarrassed when an accident occurs at the dinner table—that is, of course, if it was not due to carelessness. It is not the accident itself that will cause the guests and the hostess to consider one ill-bred, but continued mention of it and many flustered apologies. "I am sorry" or "How careless of me!" are sufficient offers of regret—the matter should then be forgotten.
Important indeed are the duties of the hostess, for it is upon her that the ultimate success of the dinner depends. It is not enough to send out the invitations, plan a delectable menu and supervise the laying of the table. She must afford pleasant diversion and entertainment for her guests from the minute they enter her home untilthey are ready to leave. The ideal hostess is the one who can make her guests, one and all, feel better satisfied with themselves and the world in general when they leave her home than they did when they arrived.
The duty of receiving and welcoming the guests rests with the host and hostess. They receive in the drawing-room until fifteen or twenty minutes after the time mentioned in the invitations. Then, even if there is still a guest or two missing, it is customary for dinner to be served. Only on one occasion does this rule vary; if the dinner is being held in honor of some celebrated guest, it may not be served until he has arrived.
The hostess, in inviting her guests, should be sure that there is an equal number of men and women. Husbands and wives should never be sent into the dining-room together. The usual order of precedence is as follows: The host leads with the lady who is to sit at his right; if the dinner is in honor of a married couple, the host goes in to dinner with the wife of the honored guest; the hostess ending the "procession" with that lady's husband. When there are no guests of honor the host takes the eldest lady present. Usually a lady visiting the house for the first time is the first to enter the dining-room. If there is one more woman than men in the party, the customary thing is for the hostess to enter the dining-room alone after all her guests have entered it. She must never take the other arm of the last gentleman.
The seating should be arranged by placing cards bearing the names of each guest next to each plate if the party is a large one. This method may be pursued if the partyis small, though, in this case it is quite possible for the hostess to indicate gracefully the place where she wishes each guest to sit. The guests who enter the dining-room together sit side by side; the hostess always waits until everyone is seated, before she takes her place and motions that the dinner is to proceed.
When a guest arrives late, the hostess must endeavor to make him feel at ease and unembarrassed. If the guest is a woman, she rises, greets her cordially and conducts her to her place without mentioning her lateness. If it is a man, she merely bows and smiles without rising and immediately starts a lively discussion or interesting conversation to draw attention away from the late arrival. In this manner he is put at ease, and the incident is promptly forgotten.
The hostess must see that all her guests are comfortable and well taken care of. She must stimulate conversation and help things along by herself relating amusing little anecdotes or experiences. She must not introduce any topic, however, that would in the least detail suggest scandal or gossip.
Nothing is more delightful, at the dinner table, whether formal or informal, than the interesting little chats between old friends and new acquaintances. Special musical programs always please dinner guests, and when held after dinner are usually appreciated. In selecting musical numbers the hostess should bear in mind the personal likes and dislikes of her guests. Music during the meal ifit is soft enough not to interfere with conversation is pleasing, though it is not essential. The musicians should be hidden behind palms.
Happy is she, who, at the conclusion of the formal dinner, can say to herself that everything was as it should be; that each of the guests had an enjoyable time; that the entire dinner had been a success. And she may claim the success of the evening as her own, for it is upon the hostess that each phase of successful dinner-giving devolves, even when most of the actual entertaining is done by one or more of the guests.
When Gung-Yee-Far-Choy (the Chinese two-week New Year) comes, our yellow cousins make their formal visits. It is a time of extreme convention, and despite the seeming revelry and celebration, the strictest rules are observed. The calls are made according to the callers' rank. One pays visits to those superior, receiving in turn those inferior. It is perplexing to know just how they decide which is superior and which inferior in each case. Perhaps it is their Oriental instinct.
But the American guest does not have to determine whether he is superior to his host and hostess—or the opposite. It is already decided for him, by the laws of etiquette. For the guest at the formal dinner must accord every respect and honor to his host and hostess—not in the servile manner of the coolie towards the mandarin, of course—but in the captivating and charming manner that bespeaks the fine lady and gentleman.
Men and women of cultivation rarely make comments on food except to praise. It is better to accept a little of each course on one's place and eat a bit of it although one does not particularly care for it, than to refuse it entirely. A highly amusing story is related of a guest who was invited to a formal dinner given by a prominent New York woman who had gained a reputation for the savory qualities of the soups she served. On this occasion she was especially proud of her Grun Yung Waa (Bird's-Nest Soup)—and really, from all reports, it must have been remarkably delicious. But the guest we are writing about, sniffed at the soup disdainfully and asked, "Is this some of that new canned soup they are advertising?" The hostess blushed—as any conscientious hostess would—and the next time she issued invitations for dinner, she somehow forgot to include the guest who read the advertisements so diligently.
A guest at a formal dinner should never ask for a second helping of any dish. This holds equally true for an elaborate luncheon. However, the host or hostess may offer to provide a second helping to any one of the guests who has disposed of his first helping. In this case, the guest may acknowledge it with a smile, or if his appetite is entirely satisfied, he may refuse it with a polite word of thanks.
To insist, on the part of the host, after the guest has refused a second helping, is overdoing the bounds of hospitality,and perilously borders on the verge of incivility.
The hostess must be careful not to apologize profusely for things which are not as she would like to have them; it is better form completely to ignore the fact that the salad is not crisp enough or that the entrée is too highly seasoned. The entire time spent at table should be no more than an hour and a half. An hour is usually sufficient if the courses are served with expedition. But there must be no semblance of haste.
Good cook books are full of suggestions for delectable menus and for the order of service. The butler or maid takes complete charge and it is better to have a less elaborate dinner than to have so many courses that he or she cannot manage without haste, noise, or confusion. The order of service depends upon the number of courses. The cook book will help here, also. Generally speaking, oysters on the half shell buried in ice, a cocktail, or a fruit cup constitutes the first course. This is followed by soup, game or fish, a salad, the roast and vegetables, dessert and coffee.
In presenting the first course the lady at the right of the host is served first. After that the order is varied so that the same person will not be served last every time. The butler serves dishes from the left and removes them from the right. No plates for any course are removed until everyone has finished. It is not necessary to wait until everyone is served to begin eating but it is most vulgar to show undue haste.
It is the duty of the butler to keep the glasses filledwith water and to see that nuts, bonbons, etc., are passed frequently.
When fruit is served, the butler places a glass dessert-plate on which is an embroidered doily and finger-bowl, before each guest, and next to it a small fruit knife. Then the fruits are offered to each guest; and when the hostess is quite sure that everyone has finished, she makes the sign for retiring. The usual manner of doing this, is to catch the eye of the lady who is the partner of her husband for the evening, nod and smile to her, and they both rise together, followed immediately by the other women guests. They adjourn to the drawing-room, where coffee is served and light conversation ensues until the men join them. The latter, in the meanwhile, remain in the dining-room to smoke their cigars and drink their coffee. Usually they will leave their original seats and move up to the end of the table, gathering around the host, whose duty it now is to entertain them and to keep pleasant conversation going. Fifteen minutes is an ample time for the gentlemen to smoke and chat by themselves. Then they are expected to join the ladies in the drawing-room.
Some hostesses like to provide special entertainment for their guests—professional dancers, elocutionists, or singers. But here "circumstances must alter cases." As a matter of fact, not very much entertainment is really required, for if the guests are congenial, they will no doubt enjoy conversation among themselves. It is, of course, not necessary to limit one's conversation to the lady or gentleman with whom one's lot has been cast for the evening.However, special attention should be paid to that person.
It is only an extremely rude and discourteous guest who will leave immediately upon the conclusion of the dinner. The correct thing to do, when invited to a dinner that begins at eight o'clock is to order one's car to appear at the door at ten-thirty. In most cases, however, when the guests are brilliant and pleasant, and when conversation holds one in spite of the desire to leave, it is customary to remain until eleven o'clock when the party will, no doubt, break up entirely.
In these days of gay festivities and continual hospitalities, it is not unusual for a popular guest to be invited to two receptions in one evening. Even this urgent responsibility, however, does not warrant the guest's hurrying away while the dinner is still serving—though it may be the last stages. The courteous way is to wait until all the guests have adjourned to the drawing-room, remain fifteen or twenty minutes conversing with one's partner or other guests, and then with a fitting apology and brief explanation, order one's car. If this is followed, the hostess cannot feel any dissatisfaction or resentment; but the guest who insists on rushing away, shows ill-breeding and inconsideration.
The lady, whether she be wife, sister or fiancée, is the first to express a desire to depart. When she does, she and the gentleman will seek out the host and hostess, thank them cordially for their hospitality, and take their leave.Here are some accepted forms that may be used with variations according to the guest's own personality:
"Good-night, Mrs. Carr. I must thank you for a perfectly delightful evening."
"Good-night, Mrs. Carr. I must thank you for a perfectly delightful evening."
To which the hostess will no doubt answer something to this effect:
"We were glad to have you, I'm sure, Mrs. Roberts."
"We were glad to have you, I'm sure, Mrs. Roberts."
Here is another manner in which to extend one's thanks, and how to accept them:
"Sorry we must start so soon, Mrs. Carr. Thank you so much for your kindness.""Good-night, Mrs. Roberts. I hope to see you soon again."
"Sorry we must start so soon, Mrs. Carr. Thank you so much for your kindness."
"Good-night, Mrs. Roberts. I hope to see you soon again."
It is also very important to bid one's partner for the evening a cordial good-night. In fact, it is a flagrant breach to leave without having thanked one's partner—and a gentleman will never do it. A word or two is all that is necessary.
The hostess, in taking leave of her guests, will gratefully acknowledge their thanks and say a word or two expressing her pleasure at their presence. It is not civil or courteous on the part of either host or hostess to attempt to prolong the presence of any guest after he has made it known that he wishes to depart.
If the hostess finds, almost at the last moment, that one of her guests is unavoidably detained and will not beable to attend the dinner, she may call upon a friend to take the vacant place. The friend thus invited should not feel that he or she is playing "second-fiddle" and the fact that she was not invited at first should not tempt her to refuse the invitation which would be a serious discourtesy, indeed. Quite on the contrary, she should accept cordially, and then do her utmost to make her (or his, as the case may be) presence at the dinner amiable and pleasant.
The invitation is usually in the form of a hand-written note, explaining the reason for its last-minute arrival, and frankly requesting the presence of the lady or gentleman in the place of the one who cannot appear. The answer should be brief but sincere; there must be no hint in it that the recipient is not altogether pleased with the invitation and with the idea of dining in someone's else place. To refuse an invitation to serve as a stop-gap, without an acceptable reason for doing so is an inexcusable violation of the rules of good breeding.
Of course, it is not always agreeable to the hostess to call on one of her friends to attend her dinner in the place of someone else; but it is certainly a better plan than to leave the guest out entirely, and have one more lady than gentleman, orvice versa. If the note is cordial and frankly sincere, a good friend will not feel any unreasonable resentment, but will, in fact, be pleased to serve.
The simple dinner, perfectly achieved, is as admirable a feat as the elaborate dinner, perfectly achieved. The hostess who has attained the art of giving perfect dinners,though they are small, may well be proud of her attainment.
If the cook knows how to cook; if the maid is well-trained, and correctly attired in white cap and apron and black dress; if the table is laid according to the rules of dinner etiquette; if the welcome is cordial and the company congenial—the simple dinner may rank with the most extravagant and elaborate formal dinner. The cover may contain fewer pieces and the menu may contain fewer courses, the setting may be less fashionable, though not less harmonious, and still the dinner may be extremely tempting and enjoyable.
Perhaps it is more important to select the guests wisely at a small informal dinner than it is at a formal one. As there are usually only four or six guests, they will undoubtedly become well acquainted by the time the dinner is over, and in order to have agreeable conversation it is necessary that they be congenial.
In a week or two, one generally forgets just what food was eaten at a certain dinner—but if the guests were all amiable and pleasing, the memory of conversation with them will linger and be constantly associated with the hostess and her home. Many a hostess would be happier (and her guests, too) if less time were paid to the planning of a menu, and more time spent in choosing guests who will be happy together.
There is no reason why lack of servants should prevent one from entertaining friends and extending one'shospitality. The ideal hostess is not the one who tries to outdo her neighbor—who attempts, even though it is beyond her means, to give elaborate dinners that vie favorably with those given by her neighbors. The simplest dinner has possibilities of being a huge success, if it is given in the spirit of true cordiality.
For instance, a dinner which the writer attended recently was given by a young woman who did not have any servants. There were six guests who all had mutual interests and with very little help from the hostess they were not long in finding them.
The table was laid for eight. A silver bowl containing delicate ferns graced the center. The lights were shaded to a soft radiance. The entire dining-room had an atmosphere of quiet and restfulness about it. Each guest found, upon taking his place for dinner, a tall fruit glass at his cover, containing crushed grapefruit and cherries. When this first course was finished, the hostess placed the glasses on a serving table and wheeled it into the kitchen. The kitchen adjoined the dining-room, which of course facilitated matters considerably. And yet it was sufficiently separated to exclude all unpleasant signs of cooking.
There was no confusion, no haste, no awkward pauses. Somehow, the guests seemed to forget that maids or butlers were necessary at all. The quiet, calm poise of the hostess dominated the entire party and everyone felt contented and at ease.
There was a complete absence of restraint of any kind; conversation flowed smoothly and naturally, and in the enjoyment of one another's company, the guests were as happy and satisfied as they would probably have been at an elaborate formal dinner.
A table service wagon is most useful for the woman who is her own maid. It stands at the right of the hostess and may be wheeled in and out as she finds it necessary, though for the informal dinner it should not be essential to move it once it is in place. In the drawer should be found one or two extra napkins and extra silver for each course in case of accident or emergency. The coffee service may be placed on top of the table with the dishes for the several courses arranged on the shelves of the table from top to bottom in the order in which they are to be used. The table should not be too heavily loaded. It is much more useful when things are "easy to get at."
If your home is small and inconvenient, if you become easily flustered, if you don't find intense pleasure in making others happy, then don't invite friends to dinner—and discomfort. But if you are the jolly, calm, happy sort of a hostess, who can attend to duties quickly and yet without confusion, if you have a cozy little home and taste enough to make it attractive—then give dinners by all means,—and your guests will not object to their simplicity.
With the servant problem growing more complex every year, more and more hostesses are turning to hotels to provide their special dinners. These cannot rival a successful dinner at home but often they are much easier to arrange and even the most conservative of hostesses may entertain dinner guests at a hotel. Private dining-rooms are a luxury but much more charming than the public room. The latter is, of course, the one used by the large majority of people.
Most hotels provide comfortable lobbies or lounges in which guests may wait for each other. But if the hotel is a big one and crowded it is pleasanter to meet elsewhere and arrive together.
The etiquette of the hotel dining-room is that of the home dining-room. Nothing should ever be done to draw attention to the group of people who are dining there. Quiet behavior is more than ever valuable.
For an informal dinner a woman may wear a semi-evening dress of the sort suitable for afternoon while her partner wears the regular dinner jacket. For a formal affair formaldécolletédress with the hair arranged somewhat more elaborately than usual is required. Jewels may be worn. Gloves are always removed, never at a dinner should they be tucked in at the wrists. Men, of course, wear full evening dress to a formal dinner.
In hotels and other public dining-rooms there is more freedom of choice as to what one shall wear but it is in bad taste to attire oneself conspicuously. A woman dining alone should always wear her hat into the dining-room even if she is a guest of the hotel.
It is amazing how much the little niceties of life have to do with making a dinner pleasant, and in every home the family should "dress for dinner" even though this may not mean donning regulation evening dress. Formal or informal, in the intimacy of the family circle or in a large group of friends the meal should be unhurried and calm.
In England, and especially in London, the luncheon is held in quite as high esteem as our most formal dinners. For it is at the luncheon, in England, that distinguished men and women meet to discuss the important topics of the moment and exchange opinions. It is indeed easy to understand why this would be a delightful meal, for there is none of the restraint and formality of the late dinner.
But in America, perhaps because most all of our gentlemen are at business "down-town" during the day, perhaps because we disdain to ape England's customs, the luncheon has not yet reached the point where it rivals the formal dinner. And yet it holds rather an important place all its own.
The "place" is distinctly feminine. The ladies of America have taken the luncheon in hand and developed it into a splendid midday entertainment and means of hospitality. The gentlemen are of course welcome; but they are rarely present. It is usually among themselves that the ladies celebrate the ceremony of the luncheon—both formal and informal—and that it has survived, and is tending to become permanently popular, is sufficient proof of its success. It is often preceded or followed by cards or other simple entertainment.
Invitations may be sent only a few days before the day set for the luncheon, and are usually written in the first person instead of the third which is the convention for more elaborate functions. The hour of luncheon is stated, but need not be as rigidly followed as the dinner hour. If guests are reasonably late they may be excused, but the late dinner guest is correctly considered discourteous. Lord Houghton, famous in England's social history, used to word his invitations simply "Come and lunch with me to-morrow" or "Will you lunch with me Tuesday?" He rarely mentioned the hour. Incidentally, Lord Houghton's unceremonious luncheons earned for him widespread comment, and they had much to do with the ultimate popularity of the informal luncheon in England.
The informal luncheon lost none of its easy congeniality in traveling across the ocean. There is a certain friendliness that distinguishes this meal from all others. Sometimes, in fact, the hostess dispenses with the ceremony of service altogether, and her guests help themselves from the buffet or side-table. If such is the case, the luncheon consists of cold meats, ham, tongue, roast beef, etc.; salads, wine jellies, fruits, cakes, bonbons and coffee. The most usual way, however, is to serve a more substantial luncheon, retaining just that degree of dinner formality that is so gratifying to the social sense.
Often the informal luncheon is served on the bare table, making use of numerous lace or linen doilies instead ofthe usual table-cloth. (This does not hold true of the formal luncheon and may not be true even of the informal one.)
The menu must be appropriate to the season. Tea or coffee are never served in the drawing-room after the informal luncheon. If at all, they are served right at the table at the conclusion of the meal.
The informal luncheon guest never remains long after the luncheon unless the hostess has provided special amusement. If the luncheon lasts an hour the guests may sit around and chat with the hostess for about a half hour; but they must remember that she may have afternoon engagements, and it would be exceedingly inconsiderate and rude on their part to delay her.
The formal luncheon is very much like the formal dinner, except that it is not so substantial as to menu. The table is laid the same, except that linen doilies are used in preference to table-cloths. The latter are in good form, however, and it is merely a matter of taste in the final selection. Then too, there is never any artificial light at a luncheon, whether it be simple or elaborate.
The formal luncheon usually opens with a first course of fruit—grapefruit, ordinarily, but sometimes chilled pineapple or fruit cocktails. When the fruit glasses are removed, bouillon in two-handled cups is served. Sometimes a course of fish follows, but it is really not essential to the luncheon and most hostesses prefer to omit it. An entrée is next served—chicken, mushrooms, sweetbreads or beef according to the taste and judgment of the hostess; and usually a vegetable accompanies it.
A light salad, prepared with a regard for harmony with the rest of the menu, is always acceptable at the luncheon. Desserts may be the same as those served for dinner,—jellies, frozen puddings, ice-cream, tarts, nuts, etc. It is not customary to retire to the drawing-room for coffee; it is good form to have it served at the table. If the weather is tempting, and if the hostess is so inclined, coffee may be served on the porch. However, these lesser details must be decided by personal taste and convenience.
It may be taken for granted that the hostess would not give a formal luncheon if she had afternoon engagements. For that reason, the guests may stay later than they would at an informal luncheon. Sometimes music is provided, and often there are recitations and dramatic readings. Usually the hour set for a ceremonious luncheon is one-thirty o'clock; it is safe to say, then, that three o'clock or half-past three is ample time to take one's departure.
The appointments of the formal luncheon table are, as was pointed out above, almost identical with those of the dinner table.
In the first place, butter may be served with the formal luncheon and rarely with dinner. Thus we find tiny butter dishes added at the left of each luncheon cover. These plates are usually decorative, and sometimes are made large enough to contain both the bread and butter, instead of just the butter alone. Another difference, though slight:—cut-glass platters for nuts and bonbons take the place of the silver platters of dinner. Candles are not used; nor is any other artificial light whenever it can be avoided.
The formal luncheon offers an ideal time for the hostess to display her finest china, her best silver. It is an occasion when dignity and beauty combine with easy friendliness to make the event memorable, and the wise hostess spares no effort in adding those little touches that go so far towards making any entertainment a success. Menu cards and favors, of course, are "touches" that belong to the dinner table alone; but flowers, service and general setting of the dining-room are details that deserve considerable attention and thought.
The primary requisite of a successful luncheon is harmonious and agreeable relationship between hostess and guests. This holds true both of the formal and informal luncheons, though particularly of the former. One cannot possibly enjoy a luncheon—no matter how carefully the menu has been prepared, no matter how delightful the environment—if there are awkward lapses in the conversation; if there are moments of painful, embarrassing silence; or if the conversation is stilted, affected or forced.
Spontaneity of conversation and ease of manner, together with a hostess who knows how to plan delightful little surprises, and simple though delicious menus,—these are the secrets of successful luncheon-giving. And if they cannot be observed, the hostess had better direct her energies toward strictly formal entertainments; the luncheon is not one of her accomplishments.
The hostess receives in her drawing-room. She rises as each guest enters the room, greets her, or him, as the case may be, with outstretched hand, and proceeds with any necessary introductions. As soon as all the guestshave arrived, she orders luncheon served, and she herself leads the way to the dining-room. The guests may seat themselves in the manner that is most congenial; but in arranging the formal luncheon, the hostess usually identifies the correct seat with a small place card. If there is a guest of honor, or a lady whom the hostess wishes to show deference to, she is given the place to the right of the hostess.
If there are gentlemen at the formal luncheon, including the hostess' husband, they do not remain at the table to smoke and chat as they do after dinner, but leave the dining-room with the ladies. Neither do they offer the ladies their arms when entering or leaving the dining-room. If the host is considerate, and is fortunate enough to have a porch, she will suggest that the gentlemen have their cigars on the porch.
A well-bred guest will never take advantage of the leniency toward late-comers to the luncheon. It isalwaysrude to keep people waiting; but it is doubly so to be lax in one's punctuality because one rule is not as exacting as another. The guest must also bear in mind that a great part of the enjoyment of the luncheon devolves upon his or her own cordiality and friendliness. Every guest must feel it a duty to supply some of the conversation, and if he is not naturally conversant, it might be wise to decide upon and remember several interesting little anecdotes that the company will enjoy hearing. No one can be excused from silence or lack of interest at the luncheon.
To the hostess, then, goes the responsibility of providing the means of enjoyment; to the guests goes the responsibility of utilizing this means, and cooperating with the hostess in making the entire thing a success. Thereare huge social possibilities in the luncheon, and it is rapidly becoming one of America's favorite functions. With both hostess and guest observing their duties, it must inevitably be a triumph that will vie with the important dignity of the formal dinner itself.
Breakfast to some people may mean a hastily swallowed cup of tea or coffee, and a bit of roll or cake. The early breakfast, of course. But to many there is a later breakfast that is as elaborate as it is tempting.
The formal breakfast may be held any time between ten and twelve-thirty. A fruit course opens the menu, with a mildhors d'œuvrefollowing. Soup is never served. After the fruit, fish, broiled orsautéis served, and sometimes deviled lobster if it is preferred. In England, steamed finnan haddie is the favorite breakfast fish.
The personal tastes of the guests must be taken into consideration in deciding upon the main course. Lamb or veal chops are acceptable, and egg dishes are always welcomed. They may be accompanied by mushrooms, small French peas or potatoes. For the next course, chicken meets with favor especially if it is broiled or fried with rice. Dessert of frozen punch, pastry or jellies follows immediately after the chicken; and coffee, in breakfast cups, concludes the meal. And of course, the hot muffins and crisp biscuits of breakfast fame are not forgotten—nor the waffles and syrup, either, if one is partial to them.
For an informal breakfast, the menu is correspondingly less elaborate. Once again it begins with fruit, and it may be followed by the good old-fashioned course ofham or bacon and eggs with johnny-cake and potatoes; or the simple breakfast may be started with cereal, served with cream, and followed with broiled finnan haddie and baked potatoes. Eggs, quail or chops, and a crisp salad is another menu often adapted to the late informal breakfast. Desserts should be simple; sweets are seldom indulged in at breakfast. Buns with marmalade or honey are always acceptable, and frozen puddings seem to be a just-right finish to a delicious breakfast.
The informal breakfast is given at ten or eleven o'clock in the morning. It is never very elaborate; it is, in fact, one of the simplest, yet most dignified of informal meals.
Whether she is hostess or guest the woman at a breakfast or luncheon should wear an afternoon gown of silk,crêpe-de-chine, velvet, cloth or novelty material. In the summer preference may be given organdies, georgettes, etc. The simpler the affair the simpler the costume should be.
Men may wear the cutaway coat if the luncheon is a formal one while for simpler affairs the sack coat or summer flannels, when the season is appropriate, may be worn.
Of course one cannot mention the words "afternoon tea" without immediately associating it with merry England. For it was there that, over two hundred years ago, a dreamy-eyed Dutchman (dreamy-eyed because he had lived many years in China) brought with him from the Orient a peculiar little leaf which, with a little hot water and sugar, made a delicious drink. At first lordly Englishmen would have none of him—but he didn't care. He exhibited the powers of the little leaves, made his tea, and drank it with evident relish. Others were curious; they, too, drank, and once they started it was difficult to do without it.
Someone spread the rumor that this new drink from China contained drugs and stimulants—and no sooner was this rumor spread than everyone began drinking it! Even the ladies and gentlemen of better society finally condescended to taste "the stuff"—and lo! before they realized it, it had been unconsciously adopted as their very own beverage! Through two generations the idea of the afternoon tea has been perfected, until to-day we have cosy, delightful, ceremonious five-o'clock teas that are the pride of the English and the joy of everyone who follows the custom.
And so we find the afternoon tea enjoying a vogue of unrivaled popularity here in America. When adébutantedaughter is to be introduced to society, the mother plans an elaborate afternoon tea (and they can certainly be elaborate!). When guests from out-of-town are visiting, the hostess can think of nothing more appropriate than a chummy tea to introduce them to her friends. So charming a way of entertaining is the afternoon tea that it has usurped the evening reception almost entirely, except when the occasion requires special formality.
Then, too, there is the simpler tea so dear to the hearts of our hospitable ladies of good society. It was George Eliot who earnestly inquired, "Reader, have you ever drunk a cup of tea?" There is something undeniably heart-warming and conversation-making in a cup of steaming hot tea served with delicious cream; it is an ideal prescription for banishing loneliness. Perhaps it is not so much the tea itself, as the circle of happy friends eager for a pleasant chat.
As the simple tea does not require very much preparation or planning, we will discuss it briefly here and take up only the formal tea in detail. The simple tea may be served for any guest who chances in between four or six o'clock in the afternoon. Sometimes a hostess devotes a stated time each day or on certain days in the week which are known to her friends, to tea, and she lets her friends know just what the hour is and that they are welcome to join for a bite and a little chat whenever they feel so inclined. There may be one or several little tea tables which are brought into the drawing-room when theguests are ready for tea. Covering each one is a dainty lace or linen doily, or an embroidered tea-cloth. If tea tables are not available, one large table may serve the purpose, but it also must be covered with small doilies at each cover instead of one large table-cloth.
The hostess and one or two of her friends may serve. The tea is made at the table and served with very small, dainty sandwiches and all kinds of quaintly-shaped cakes. Bonbons, salted nuts and sometimes ices are also served.
If the hostess does not own dainty tea equipage, the beverage may be made in the kitchen and brought in ready to serve, fragrant and steaming. The custom of the afternoon tea is confined almost wholly to women, though it is not bad form by any means to have gentlemen present for tea.
A tea wagon offers the most attractive service for an afternoon tea. It should not be in the room where the hostess receives but should be wheeled in from an adjoining room (the dining-room usually). The maid, if there is one, performs this service, the hostess herself if there is no maid. The table should not be overcrowded and if there is not ample room for sandwich trays these should be brought in separately.
The china should be thin and of the same general kind though not necessarily of the same pattern. There should be sugar—preferably block sugar with tongs, a pitcher of cream, slices of lemon, mint leaves and cloves. If the hostess makes the tea herself she adds sugar, cream, lemon or whatever else the guest may desire before she passes the cup. The hostess who cares about her reputation for hospitality will perfect herself in the gentle art of making delicious tea before the day comes for her to prove herself before her guests.
When the afternoon tea becomes formal and ceremonious it takes the place of the customary "at home." Invitations must be sent a week or ten days in advance, and if one is unable to attend, a polite note of explanation must be sent. However, no answer is necessary if one intends to be present.
With this more pretentious affair, the refreshments are served in the dining-room instead of in the drawing-room or outdoors as is sometimes done at simpler teas. The hissing urn always holds the place of honor (except on very warm days when iced tea or iced coffee may be served). Trays of thinly sliced bread are on the table, and dainty sandwiches in large variety. Fruit salads are never amiss, and strawberries with cream are particularly delightful when in season. Then, of course, there are cakes and bonbons and ices, although the latter are usually confined to warm days.
At a ceremonious tea, the hostess stands near the drawing-room door to greet each guest as she arrives. If her daughters receive with her, they stand to her right, and help in making any necessary introductions. As many guests as can be conveniently entertained may be invited to the formal tea; but the refreshments must never be so substantial that they will interfere with dinner. In fact, the tea must be kept true to its name, for if other eatables besides those fashionable to the tea are served, it is a reception in substance if not in name.
When one wishes to invite eighteen or twenty friends, and does not wish to undertake the trouble or expense of a dinner, the "high tea" is in order. It is usually heldon a Sunday evening. At these "high teas" small tables are invariably used, four guests being placed at each table. It is customary to allow the guests to form their own quartettes, for in this manner they will usually find table companions who will be congenial—and a most unfortunate occurrence at a "high tea," or in fact any reception, is a seating arrangement untasteful to the guests themselves. The little tables are covered with snowy tea cloths and decorated with a sprig of flowers in a colored vase occupying the position of honor.
Perhaps more important than the tea itself, is the appearance of the tea-table. The well-equipped table is adorned with fine china and gleaming silver, and there are always a few flowers to add to the beauty of the setting. Ferns may be used instead of flowers, but there must be no elaborate ribbons or decorations such as appear on the dinner-table.
As a matter of fact, the tea-table should always present an appearance of unpremeditated simplicity. It must never seem as though it had been especially prepared and planned for the occasion. Candles, dimmed with pale shades, may be on the table when the day is gloomy and dark. In winter, for instance, when the days are shorter, softly-glowing candles aid considerably in the cheerfulness of the afternoon tea. Tea napkins are used instead of those of regular dinner size.
A pretty manner of serving sandwiches or cakes is to have them in silver-rimmed wicker baskets which can be passed easily from one guest to another. If the tea is informal, wicker chairs and tables may also be used. Thisis especially pleasing and appropriate when the tea is served on the porch or in the garden.
Tea time is always the fashionable time of the day and there is sufficient variety in appropriate materials and style for a woman to find a gown that is more than ordinarily individual and becoming. For an informal tea the hostess may wear a clinging gown of silk but she should not dress very sumptuously for her guests will come simply attired and it is hardly hospitable to be a great deal more elaborately dressed than they. Afternoon frocks of silk, velvet, cloth, etc., or of summer materials are suitable for the guest. When the weather demands it she wears an attractive wrap.
In selecting dresses for teas, and, indeed for all occasions, it is well to remember that the more ornamentation there is the less elegance there will be. The materials should be rich but not showy—the best-dressed person is the one who calls least attention to his or her clothes.
One may wear jewels but not heavy necklaces or glittering brooches or other flashing stones. If the affair is a formal one the hair may be as elaborately marcelled as for the evening. In this case the gown should be a rich creation of the kind suitable only for such events.
If the tea is given for adébutanteit may be a very festive occasion anddécolletégowns may be worn. Dark colors are rarely worn and thedébutanteherself should be a fairy dream in a lovely creation of silk, georgette,crêpe-de-chine, or something else equally girlish and appropriate.
Elderly women wear black lace or satin though certainshades of brown and blue and nearly all shades of gray are irreproachably good taste if—and this "if" is an important one—they are becoming.
Charming indeed is the simple entertainment of the garden party. It is an undebatable fact that informal entertainments are always more enjoyable than those that are strictly formal, and the easy harmony of the garden party is certainly informal to an acceptable degree.
Someone once said of the lawn fête (which is merely another name for a garden party) that "a green lawn, a few trees, a fine day and something to eat" constitute a perfect garden party. To this we add, that the guests must be carefully selected and the grounds must be attractive.
The garden party must be held in the open air; refreshments are served outside and the guests remain outside until they are ready to depart. At Newport, where garden parties are quite the vogue, the invitations are sent weeks in advance, and, if the weather is bad, the party is held indoors. But ordinarily it must be held entirely on the grounds. A large porch is a great advantage, for if there is a sudden downpour of rain, the guests may repair to its shelter.
There are many opportunities for the hostess to show consideration and hospitality at the garden party. Easy chairs arranged in groups or couples under spreading trees always make for comfort. Some hostesses have a tent provided on the lawn for the purpose of serving the refreshments—a custom which earns the approbation offastidious guests who search the food for imaginary specks of dust when it is served in the open.
Invitations to garden parties may be sent ten days to two weeks in advance, and a prompt reply of acceptance or regret is expected. The hostess receives on the lawn—never in the house. The guests, however, drive up to the door of the house, are directed upstairs to deposit their wraps (if they wish they may keep them with them), and then are shown to the part of the grounds where the hostess is receiving. A servant should be in attendance to see that each guest is properly directed, unless the grounds where the hostess is receiving are visible from the house.
After being greeted by the hostess, guests may wander about the grounds, stopping to chat with different groups, and seeking the refreshment table when they are weary. The hostess must be sure that her lawns are faultlessly mowed, and that the tennis courts are in order. Lawn-tennis has had a large share in the making of the garden party's popularity, and the wise hostess will always be sure that her courts are in readiness for those who enjoy the game.
Cold refreshments are usually served at the garden party. Salads, ham and tongue sandwiches, fruits, jellies, ices, cakes, candies and punch are in order. Particular care must be taken in serving the refreshments to avoid any accidents or mussiness. There is nothing more disturbing to both hostess and guest than to have a glass of punch or a dish of strawberries overturned ona lawn, and pains should be taken to avoid accidents of this kind.
Music is a pleasing feature at the garden party. A pretty custom, now enjoying vogue among the most fashionable, is to have the orchestra hidden by a clump of trees or shrubbery, but near enough to be heard distinctly. In the outdoors music is never too loud to interfere with conversation, and it is always a source of keen enjoyment to the guests. Also, it adds a solemn charm to the natural beauties of the occasion.
In planning a garden party, it is best to hire all the glass, silver and china from the caterer, as there is always considerable breakage no matter how careful the servants may be. If the hostess does use her own china and glassware, she must never use her best unless she is willing to take the risk of having it broken. Undoubtedly, the garden party is troublesome, but it offers possibilities of tremendous enjoyment and amusement, and when properly arranged is always a success.