"Better get two of 'em," Malone said. "The Chief said anything she wanted, she was supposed to have."
"I'll go back right away. I told him we wanted the stuff on the afternoon plane, so—"
"And give him Bar—Miss Wilson's size, and yours, and mine. Tell him to dig up something appropriate."
"For us?" Boyd blanched visibly. "For us," Malone said grimly.
Boyd set his jaw. "No," he said.
"Listen, Tom," Malone said, "I don't like this any better than you do.But if I can't resign, you can't either. Costumes for everybody."
"But," Boyd said, and stopped. After a second he went on: "Malone—Ken—FBI agents are supposed to be inconspicuous, aren't they?"
Malone nodded.
"Well, how inconspicuous are we going to be in this stuff?"
"It's an idea," Malone said. "But it isn't a very good one. Our first job is to keep Miss Thompson happy. And that means costumes."
Boyd said: "My God."
"And what's more," Malone added, "from now on she's 'Your Majesty.'Got that?"
"Ken," Boyd said, "you've gone nuts."
Malone shook his head. "No, I haven't," he said. "I just wish I had.It would be a relief."
"Me too," Boyd said. He started for the door and turned. "I wish I could have stayed in San Francisco," he said. "Why should she insist on takingmealong?"
"The beard," Malone said. "My beard?" Boyd recoiled.
"Right," Malone said. "She says it reminds her of someone she knows.Frankly, it reminds me of someone, too. Only I don't know who."
Boyd gulped. "I'll shave it off," he said, with the air of a man who can do no more to propitiate the Gods.
"You will not," Malone said firmly. "Touch but a hair of yon black chin, and I'll peel off your entire skin."
Boyd winced.
"Now," Malone said, "go back to that costume shop and arrange things. Here." He fished in his pockets and came out with a crumpled slip of paper and handed it to Boyd. "That's a list of my clothing sizes. Get another list from B—Miss Wilson." Boyd nodded. Malone thought he detected a strange glint in the other man's eye. "Don't measure her yourself," he said. "Just ask her."
Boyd scratched his bearded chin and nodded slowly. "All right, Ken," he said. "But if we just don't get anywhere, don't blame me."
"If you get anywhere," Malone said, "I'll snatch you baldheaded. AndI'll leave the beard."
"I didn't mean with Miss Wilson, Ken," Boyd said. "I meant in general." He left, with the air of a man whose world has betrayed him. His back looked, to Malone, like the back of a man on his way to the scaffold or guillotine.
The door closed.
Now, Malone thought, who does that beard remind me of? Who do I know who knows Miss Thompson?
And what difference does it make?
Nevertheless, he told himself, Boyd's beard (Beard's boyd?) was really an admirable fact of nature. Ever since beards had become popular again in the mid-sixties, and FBI agents had been permitted to wear them, Malone had thought about growing one. But, somehow, it didn't seem right.
Now, looking at Boyd, he began to think about the prospect again.
He shrugged the notion away. There were things to do.
He picked up the phone and called Information.
"Can you give me," he said, "the number of the Desert EdgeSanatorium?"
* * * * *
The crimson blob of the setting sun was already painting the desert sky with its customary purples and oranges by the time the little caravan arrived at the Desert Edge Sanatorium, a square white building several miles out of Las Vegas. Malone, in the first car, wondered briefly about the kind of patients they catered to. People driven mad by vingt-et-un or poker-dice? Neurotic chorus ponies? Gambling czars with delusions of non-persecution?
Sitting in the front seat next to Boyd, he watched the unhappy SanFrancisco agent manipulating the wheel. In the back seat, QueenElizabeth Thompson and Lady Barbara, the nurse, were located, and HerMajesty was chattering away like a magpie.
Malone eyed the rearview mirror to get a look at the car following them and the two local FBI agents in it. They were, he thought, unbelievably lucky. He had to sit and listen to the Royal Personage in the back seat.
"Of course, as soon as Parliament convenes and recognizes me," she wassaying, "I shall confer personages on all of you. Right now, the bestI could do was to knight you all, and of course that's hardly enough.But I think I shall make Sir Kenneth the Duke of Columbia."
Sir Kenneth, Malone realized, was himself. He wondered how he'd like being Duke of Columbia—and wouldn't the President be surprised!
"And Sir Thomas," the Queen continued, "will be the Duke of—what? SirThomas?"
"Yes, Your Majesty?" Boyd said, trying to sound both eager and properly respectful.
"What would you like to be Duke of?" she said.
"Oh," Boyd said after a second's thought, "anything that pleases YourMajesty." But apparently, his thoughts gave him away.
"You're from upstate New York?" the Queen said. "How very nice. Then you must be made the Duke of Poughkeepsie."
"Thank you, Your Majesty," Boyd said. Malone thought he detected a note of pride in the man's voice, and shot a glance at Boyd, but the agent was driving with a serene face and an economy of motion.
Duke of Poughkeepsie!Malone thought.Hah!
He leaned back and adjusted his fur-trimmed coat. The plume that fell from his cap kept tickling his neck, and he brushed at it without success.
All four of the inhabitants of the car were dressed in late Sixteenth Century costumes, complete with ruffs and velvet and lace filigree. Her Majesty and Lady Barbara were wearing the full skirts and small skullcaps of the era (and on Barbara, Malone thought privately, the low-cut gowns didn't look at all disappointing), and Sir Thomas and Malone (Sir Kenneth, he thought sourly) were clad in doublet, hose and long coats with fur trim and slashed sleeves. And all of them were loaded down, weighted down, staggeringly, with gems.
Naturally, the gems were fake. But then, Malone thought, the Queen was mad. It all balanced out in the end.
As they approached the sanitarium, Malone breathed a thankful prayer that he'd called up to tell the head physician how they'd all be dressed. If he hadn't….
He didn't want to think about that.
He didn't even want to pass it by hurriedly on a dark night.
The head physician, Dr. Frederic Dowson, was waiting for them on the steps of the building. He was a tall, thin, cadaverous-looking man with almost no hair and very deep-sunken eyes. He had the kind of face that a gushing female would probably describe, Malone thought, as "craggy," but it didn't look in the least attractive to Malone. Instead, it looked tough and forbidding.
He didn't turn a hair as the magnificently robed Boyd slid from the front seat, opened the rear door, doffed his plumed hat, and in one low sweep made a great bow. "We are here, Your Majesty," Boyd said.
Her Majesty got out, clutching at her voluminous skirts in a worried manner, to keep from catching them on the door-jamb. "You know, Sir Thomas," she said when she was standing free of the car, "I think we must be related."
"Ah?" Boyd said worriedly.
"I'm certain of it, in fact," Her Majesty went on. "You look just exactly like my poor father. Just exactly. I dare say you come from one of the sinister branches of the family. Perhaps you are a half- brother of mine—removed, of course."
Malone grinned, and tried to hide the expression. Boyd was looking puzzled, then distantly angered. Nobody had ever called him illegitimate in just that way before.
But Her Majesty was absolutely right, Malone thought. The agent had always reminded him of someone, and now, at last, he knew exactly who. The hair hadn't been black, either, but red.
Boyd was, in Elizabethan costume, the deadest of dead ringers forHenry VIII.
Malone went up the steps to where Dr. Dowson was standing.
"I'm Malone," he said, checking a tendency to bow. "I called earlier today. Is this William Logan of yours ready to go? We can take him back with us in the second car."
Dr. Dowson compressed his lips and looked worried. "Come in, Mr. Malone," he said. He turned just as the second carload of FBI agents began emptying itself over the hospital grounds.
The entire procession filed into the hospital office, the two local agents following up the rear. Since they were not a part of Her Majesty's personal retinue, they had not been required to wear court costumes. In a way, Malone was beginning to feel sorry for them. He himself cut a nice figure in the outfit, he thought—rather like Errol Flynn in the old black-and-white print ofThe Prince and the Pauper.
But there was no denying that the procession looked strange. File clerks and receptionists stopped their work to gape at the four bedizened walkers and their plainly dressed satellites. Malone needed no telepathic talent to tell what they were thinking.
"A whole roundup of nuts," they were thinking. "And those two fellows in the back must be bringing them in—along with Dr. Dowson."
Malone straightened his spine. Really, he didn't see why Elizabethan costumes had ever gone out of style. Elizabeth was back, wasn't she— either Elizabeth II, on the throne, or Elizabeth I, right behind him. Either way you looked at it….
When they were all inside the waiting room, Dr. Dowson said: "Now, Mr. Malone, just what is all this about?" He rubbed his long hands together. "I fail to see the humor of the situation."
"Humor?" Malone said.
"Doctor," Barbara Wilson began, "let me explain. You see—"
"These ridiculous costumes," Dr. Dowson said, waving a hand at them. "You may feel that poking fun at insanity is humorous, Mr. Malone, but let me tell you—"
"It wasn't like that at all," Boyd said.
"And," Dr. Dowson continued in a somewhat louder voice, "wanting to take Mr. Logan away from us. Mr. Logan is a very sick man, Mr. Malone. He should be properly cared for."
"I promise we'll take good care of him," Malone said earnestly. The Elizabethan clothes were fine outdoors, but in a heated room one had a tendency to sweat.
"I take leave to doubt that," Dr. Dowson said, eyeing their costumes pointedly.
"Miss Wilson here," Malone volunteered, "is a trained psychiatric nurse."
Barbara, in her gown, stepped forward. "Dr. Dowson," she said, "let me assure you that these costumes have their purpose. We—"
"Not only that," Malone said. "There are a group of trained men from St. Elizabeths Hospital in Washington who are going to take the best of care of him." He said nothing whatever about Yucca Flats, or about telepathy.
Why spread around information unnecessarily?
"But I don't understand," Dr. Dowson said. "What interest could theFBI have in an insane man?"
"That's none of your business," Malone said. He reached inside his fur-trimmed robe and, again suppressing a tendency to bow deeply, withdrew an impressive-looking legal document. "This," he said, "is a court order, instructing you to hand over to us the person of one William Logan, herein identified and described." He waved it at the Doctor.
"That's your William Logan," he said, "only now he's ours."
Dr. Dowson took the papers and put in some time frowning at them. Then he looked up again at Malone. "I assume that I have some discretion in this matter," he said. "And I wonder if you realize just how ill Mr. Logan is? We have his case histories here, and we have worked with him for some time."
Barbara Wilson said: "But—"
"I might say that we are beginning to understand his illness," Dr. Dowson said. "I honestly don't think it would be proper to transfer this work to another group of therapists. It might set his illness back—cause, as it were, a relapse. All our work could easily be nullified."
"Please, Doctor," Barbara Wilson began.
"I'm afraid the court order's got to stand," Malone said. Privately, he felt sorry for Dr. Dowson, who was, obviously enough, a conscientious man trying to do the best he could for his patient. But-
"I'm sorry, Dr. Dowson," he said. "We'll expect that you send all of your data to the government psychiatrists—and, naturally, any concern for the patient's welfare will be our concern also. The FBI isn't anxious for its workers to get the reputation of careless men." He paused, wondering what other bone he could throw the man. "I have no doubt that the St. Elizabeth's men will be happy to accept your cooperation," he said at last. "But, I'm afraid that our duty is clear. William Logan goes with us."
Dr. Dowson looked at them sourly. "Does he have to get dressed up like a masquerade, too?" Before Malone could answer, the psychiatrist added: "Anyhow, I don't even know you're FBI men. After all, why should I comply with orders from a group of men, dressed insanely, whom I don't even know?"
Malone didn't say anything. He just got up and walked to a phone on a small table, near the wall. Next to it was a door, and Malone wondered uncomfortably what was behind it. Maybe Dr. Dowson had a small arsenal there, to protect his patients and prevent people from pirating them.
He looked back at the set and dialed Burris' private number in Washington. When the Director's face appeared on the screen, Malone said: "Mr. Burris, will you please identify me to Dr. Dowson?" He looked over at Dowson. "You recognize Mr. Andrew J. Burris, I suppose?" he said.
Dowson nodded. His grim face showed a faint shock. He walked to the phone, and Malone stepped back to let him talk with Burris.
"My name is Dowson," he said. "I'm psychiatric director here at DesertEdge Sanatorium. And your men—"
"My men have orders to take William Logan from your care," Burris said.
"That's right," Dowson said. "But—"
While they were talking, Queen Elizabeth I sidled quietly up to Malone and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Sir Kenneth," she whispered in the faintest of voices, "I know where your telepathic spy is. And I knowwhohe is."
"Who?" Malone said. "What? Why? Where?" He blinked and whirled. It couldn't be true. They couldn't solve the case so easily.
But the Queen's face was full of a majestic assurance. "He's right there," she said, and she pointed.
Malone followed her finger.
It was aimed directly at the glowing image of Andrew J. Burris,Director of the FBI.
5
Malone opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Not even air.
He wasn't breathing.
He stared at Burris for a long moment, then took a breath and looked again at Her Majesty. "The spy?" he whispered.
"That's right," she said.
"But that's—" He had to fight for control. "That's the head of theFBI," he managed to say. "Do you mean to say he's a spy?"
Burris was saying: "… I'm afraid this is a matter of importance, Dr. Dowson. We cannot tolerate delay. You have the court order. Obey it."
"Very well, Mr. Burris," Dowson said with an obvious lack of grace."I'll release him to Mr. Malone immediately, since you insist."
Malone stared, fascinated. Then he turned back to the little old lady. "Do you mean to tell me," he said, "that Andrew J. Burris is a telepathic spy?"
"Oh, dear me," Her Majesty said, obviously aghast. "My goodness gracious. Is that Mr. Burris on the screen?"
"It is," Malone assured her. A look out of the corner of his eye told him that neither Burris, in Washington, nor Dowson or any others in the room, had heard any of the conversation. Malone lowered his whisper some more, just in case. "That's the head of the FBI," he said.
"Well, then," Her Majesty said, "Mr. Burris couldn't possibly be aspy, then, could he? Not if he's the head of the FBI. Of course not.Mr. Burris simply isn't a spy. He isn't the type. Forget all about Mr.Burris."
"I can't," Malone said at random. "I work for him." He closed his eyes. The room, he had discovered, was spinning slightly. "Now," he said, "you're sure he's not a spy?"
"Certainly I'm sure," she said, with her most regal tones. "Do you doubt the word of your sovereign?"
"Not exactly," Malone said. Truthfully, he wasn't at all sure. Not at all. But why tell that to the Queen?
"Shame on you," she said. "You shouldn't even think such things. After all, I am the Queen, aren't I?" But there was a sweet, gentle smile on her face when she spoke; she didn't seem to be really irritated.
"Sure you are," Malone said. "But—"
"Malone!" It was Burris' voice, from the phone. Malone spun around. "Take Mr. Logan," Burris said, "and get going. There's been enough delay as it is."
"Yes, sir," Malone said. "Right away, sir. Anything else?"
"That's all," Burris said. "Good night." The screen blanked.
There was a little silence.
"All right, Doctor," Boyd said. He looked every inch a king, andMalone knew exactly what king. "Bring him out."
Dr. Dowson heaved a great sigh. "Very well," he said heavily. "But I want it known that I resent this highhanded treatment, and I shall write a letter complaining of it." He pressed a button on an instrument panel in his desk. "Bring Mr. Logan in," he said.
Malone wasn't in the least worried about the letter. Burris, he knew, would take care of anything like that. And, besides, he had other things to think about.
The door to the next room had opened almost immediately, and two husky, white-clad men were bringing in a strait-jacketed figure whose arms were wrapped against his chest, while the jacket's extra-long sleeves were tied behind his back. He walked where the attendants led him, but his eyes weren't looking at anything in the room. They stared at something far away and invisible, an impalpable shifting nothingness somewhere in the infinite distances beyond the world.
For the first time, Malone felt the chill of panic. Here, he thought, was insanity of a very real and frightening kind. Queen Elizabeth Thompson was one thing—and she was almost funny, and likeable, after all. But William Logan was something else, and something that sent a wave of cold shivering into the room.
What made it worse was that Logan wasn't a man, but a boy, barely nineteen. Malone had known that, of course—but seeing it was something different. The lanky, awkward figure wrapped in a hospital strait-jacket was horrible, and the smooth, unconcerned face was, somehow, worse. There was no threat in that face, no terror or anger or fear. It was merely—a blank.
It was not a human face. Its complete lack of emotion or expression could have belonged to a sleeping child of ten—or to a member of a different race. Malone looked at the boy, and looked away.
Was it possible that Logan knew what he was thinking?
Answer me, he thought, directly at the still boy.
There was no reply, none at all. Malone forced himself to look away.But the air in the room seemed to have become much colder.
The attendants stood on either side of him, waiting. For one long second no one moved, and then Dr. Dowson reached into his desk drawer and produced a sheaf of papers.
"If you'll sign these for the government," he said, "you may have Mr. Logan. There seems little else that I can do, Mr. Malone—in spite of my earnest pleas—"
"I'm sorry," Malone said. After all, heneededLogan, didn't he? After a look at the boy, he wasn't sure any more—but the Queen had said she wanted him, and the Queen's word was law. Or what passed for law, anyhow, at least for the moment.
Malone took the papers and looked them over. There was nothing special about them; they were merely standard release forms, absolving the staff and management of Desert Edge Sanatorium from every conceivable responsibility under any conceivable circumstances, as far as William Logan was concerned. Dr. Dowson gave Malone a look that said: "Very well, Mr. Malone; I will play Pilate and wash my hands of the matter— but you needn't think I like it." It was a lot for one look to say, but Dr. Dowson's dark and sunken eyes got the message across with no loss in transmission. As a matter of fact, there seemed to be more coming—a much less printable message was apparently on the way through those glittering, sad and angry eyes.
Malone avoided them nervously, and went over the papers again instead. At last he signed them and handed them back. "Thanks for your cooperation, Dr. Dowson," he said briskly, feeling ten kinds of a traitor.
"Not at all," Dowson said bitterly. "Mr. Logan is now in your custody.I must trust you to take good care of him."
"The best care we can," Malone said. It didn't seem sufficient. He added: "The best possible care, Doctor," and tried to look dependable and trustworthy, like a Boy Scout. He was aware that the effort failed miserably.
At his signal, the two plainclothes FBI men took over from the attendants. They marched Logan out to their car, and Malone led the procession back to Boyd's automobile, a procession that consisted (in order) of Sir Kenneth Malone, prospective Duke of Columbia, Queen Elizabeth I, Lady Barbara, prospective Duchess of an unspecified county, and Sir Thomas Boyd, prospective Duke of Poughkeepsie. Malone hummed a little of the firstPomp and Circumstancemarch as they walked; somehow, he thought it was called for.
They piled into the car, Boyd at the wheel with Malone next to him, and the two ladies in back, with Queen Elizabeth sitting directly behind Sir Thomas. Boyd started the engine and they turned and roared off.
"Well," said Her Majesty with an air of great complacence, "that's that. That makes six of us."
Malone looked around the car. He counted the people. There were four.He said, puzzled: "Six?"
"That's right, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty said. "You have it exactly.Six."
"You mean six telepaths?" Sir Thomas asked in a deferent tone of voice.
"Certainly I do," Her Majesty replied. "We telepaths, you know, must stick together. That's the reason I got poor little Willie out of that sanatorium of his, you know—and, of course, the others will be joining us."
"Don't you think it's time for your nap, dear?" Lady Barbara put in suddenly.
"Mywhat?" It was obvious that Queen Elizabeth was Not Amused.
"Your nap, dear," Lady Barbara said.
"Don't call me dear," Her Majesty snapped.
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty," Barbara murmured. "But really—"
"My dear girl," Her Majesty said, "I am not a child. I am your sovereign. Do try to have a little respect. Why, I remember when Shakespeare used to say to me—but that's no matter, not now."
"About those telepaths—" Boyd began.
"Telepaths," Her Majesty said. "Ah, yes. We must all stick together.In the hospital, you know, we had a little joke—the patients forInsulin Shock Therapy used to say: 'If we don't stick together, we'llall be stuck separately.' Do you see, Sir Thomas?"
"But," Sir Kenneth Malone said, trying desperately to return to the point."Six?"He had counted them up in his mind. Burris had mentioned one found in St. Elizabeths, and two more picked up later. With Queen Elizabeth, and now William Logan, that made five.
Unless the Queen was counting him in. There didn't seem any good reason why not.
"Oh, no," Her Majesty said with a little trill of laughter, "not you,Sir Kenneth. I meant Mr. Miles."
Sir Thomas Boyd asked: "Mr. Miles?"
"That's right," Her Majesty said. "His name is Barry Miles, and yourFBI men found him an hour ago in New Orleans. They're bringing him toYucca Flats to meet the rest of us; isn't that nice?"
Lady Barbara cleared her throat.
"It really isn't necessary for you to try to get my attention, dear," the Queen said. "After all, I do know what you're thinking."
Lady Barbara blinked. "I still want to suggest, respectfully, about that nap—" she began.
"My dear girl," the Queen said, with the faintest trace of impatience, "I do not feel the least bit tired, and this is such an exciting day that I just don't want to miss any of it. Besides, I've already told you I don't want a nap. It isn't polite to be insistent to your Queen—no matter how strongly you feel about a matter. I'm sure you'll learn to understand that, dear."
Lady Barbara opened her mouth, shut it again, and opened it once more."My goodness," she said.
"That's the idea," Her Majesty said approvingly. "Think before you speak—and then don't speak. It really isn't necessary, since I know what you're thinking."
Malone said grimly: "About this new telepath—this Barry Miles. Did they find him—"
"In a nut-house?" Her Majesty said sweetly. "Why, of course, Sir Kenneth. You were quite right when you thought that telepaths went insane because they had a sense they couldn't effectively use, and because no one believed them. How would you feel, if nobody believed you could see?"
"Strange," Malone admitted.
"There," Her Majesty said. "You see? Telepaths do go insane—it's sort of an occupational disease. Of course, not all of them are insane."
"Not all of them?" Malone felt the faint stirrings of hope. Perhaps they would turn up a telepath yet who was completely sane and rational.
"There's me, of course," Her Majesty said.
Lady Barbara gulped audibly. Boyd said nothing, but gripped the wheel of the car more tightly.
And Malone thought to himself:That's right. There's QueenElizabeth—who says she isn't crazy.
And then he thought of one more sane telepath. But the knowledge didn't make him feel any better.
It was, of course, the spy.
How many more are going to turn up? Malone wondered.
"Oh, that's about all of us," the Queen said. "There is one more, but she's in a hospital in Honolulu, and your men won't find her until tomorrow."
Boyd turned. "Do you mean you can foretell the future, too?" he asked in a strained voice.
Lady Barbara screamed: "Keep your eyes on the wheel and your hands on the road!"
"What?" Boyd said.
There was a terrific blast of noise, and a truck went by in the opposite direction. The driver, a big, ugly man with no hair on his head, leaned out to curse at the quartet, but his mouth remained open. He stared at the four Elizabethans and said nothing at all as he whizzed by.
"What was that?" Boyd asked faintly.
"That," Malone snapped, "was a truck. And it was due entirely to the mercy of God that we didn't hit it. Barbara's right. Keep your eyes on the wheel and your hands on the road." He paused and thought that over. Then he said: "Does that mean anything at all?"
"Lady Barbara was confused by the excitement," the Queen said calmly.
"It's all right now, dear."
Lady Barbara blinked across the seat. "I was—afraid," she said.
"It's all right," the Queen said. "I'll take care of you."
"This," Malone announced to no one in particular, "is ridiculous."
Boyd swept the car around a curve and concentrated grimly on the road. After a second the Queen said: "Since you're still thinking about the question, I'll answer you."
"What question?" Malone said, thoroughly baffled.
"Sir Thomas asked me if I could foretell the future," the Queen said equably. "Of course I can't. That's silly. Just because I'm immortal and I'm a telepath, don't go hog-wild."
"Then how did you know the FBI agents were going to find the girl inHonolulu tomorrow?" Boyd said.
"Because," the Queen said, "they're thinking about looking in the hospital tomorrow, and when they look they'll certainly find her."
Boyd said: "Oh," and was silent.
But Malone had a grim question. "Why didn't you tell me about these other telepaths before?" he said. "You could have saved us a lot of work."
"Oh, heavens to Betsy, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty exclaimed. "How couldI? After all, the proper precautions had to be taken first, didn'tthey? I told you all the others were crazy—reallycrazy, I mean.And they just wouldn't be safe without the proper precautions."
"Perhaps you ought to go back to the hospital, too," Barbara said, and added: "Your Majesty," just in time.
"But if I did, dear," Her Majesty said, "you'd lose your chance to become a Duchess, and that wouldn't be at all nice. Besides, I'm having so muchfun!" She trilled a laugh again. "Riding around like this is just wonderful!" she said.
And you're important for national security, Malone said to himself.
"That's right, Sir Kenneth," the Queen said. "The country needs me, and I'm happy to serve. That is the job of a sovereign."
"Fine," Malone said, hoping it was.
"Well, then," said Her Majesty, "that settles that. We have a whole night ahead of us, Sir Kenneth. What do you say we make a night of it?"
"Knight who?" Malone said. He felt confused again. It seemed as if he was always feeling confused lately.
"Don't be silly, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty said. "There are times and times."
"Sure," Malone said at random.And time and a half, he thought.Possibly for overtime."What is Your Majesty thinking of?" he asked with trepidation.
"I want to take a tour of Las Vegas," Her Majesty said primly.
Lady Barbara shook her head. "I'm afraid that's not possible, YourMajesty," she said.
"And why not, pray?" Her Majesty said. "No. I can see what you're thinking. It's not safe to let me go wandering around in a strange city, and particularly if that city is Las Vegas. Well, dear, I can assure you that it's perfectly safe."
"We've got work to do," Boyd contributed.
Malone said nothing. He stared bleakly at the hood ornament on the car.
"I have made my wishes known," the Queen said.
Lady Barbara said: "But—"
Boyd, however, knew when to give in. "Yes, Your Majesty," he said.
She smiled graciously at him, and answered Lady Barbara only by a slight lift of her regal eyebrow.
Malone had been thinking about something else. When he was sure he had a firm grip on himself he turned. "Your Majesty, tell me something," he said. "You can read my mind, right?"
"Well, of course, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty said. "I thought I'd proved that to you. And, as for what you're about to ask—"
"No," Malone said. "Please. Let me ask the questions before you answer them. It's less confusing that way. I'll cheerfully admit that it shouldn't be—but it is. Please?"
"Certainly, Sir Kenneth, if you wish," the Queen said. She folded her hands in her lap and waited quietly.
"Okay," Malone said. "Now, if you can read my mind, then you must know that I don'treallybelieve that you are Queen Elizabeth of England. The First, I mean."
"Mr. Malone," Barbara Wilson said suddenly. "I—"
"It's all right, child," the Queen said. "He doesn't disturb me. And I do wish you'd call him Sir Kenneth. That's his title, you know."
"Now that's what I mean," Malone said. "Why do you want us toactas if we believe you, when you know we don't?"
"Because that's the way people do act," the Queen said calmly. "Very few people really believe that their so-called superiorsaresuperior. Almost none of them do, in fact."
"Now wait a minute," Boyd began.
"No, no, it's quite true," the Queen said, "and, unpleasant as it may be, we must learn to face the truth. That's the path of sanity." Lady Barbara made a strangled noise but Her Majesty continued, unruffled. "Nearly everybody suffers from the silly delusion that he's possibly equal to, but very probably superior to, everybody else—my goodness, where would we be if that were true?"
Malone felt that a comment was called for, and he made one. "Who knows?" he said.
"All the things people do toward their superiors," the Queen said, "are done for social reasons. For instance, Sir Kenneth: you don't realize fully how you feel about Mr. Burris."
"He's a hell of a fine guy," Malone said. "I work for him. He's a goodDirector of the FBI."
"Of course," the Queen said. "But you believe you could do the job just as well, or perhaps a little better."
"I do not," Malone said angrily.
Her Majesty reserved a dignified silence.
After a while Malone said: "And what if I do?"
"Why, nothing," Her Majesty said. "You don't think Mr. Burris is any smarter or better than you are—but you treat him as if you did. All I am insisting on is the same treatment."
"But if we don't believe—" Boyd began.
"Bless you," Her Majesty said, "I can't help the way youthink, but, as Queen, I do have some control over the way youact."
Malone thought it over. "You have a point there," he said at last.
Barbara said: "But—"
"Yes, Sir Kenneth," the Queen said, "I do." She seemed to be ignoring Lady Barbara. Perhaps, Malone thought, she was still angry over the nap affair. "It's not that," the Queen said.
"Not what?" Boyd said, thoroughly confused.
"Not the naps," the Queen said.
"What naps?" Boyd said. Malone said: "I was thinking—"
"Good," Boyd said. "Keep it up. I'm driving. Everything's going to hell around me, but I'm driving."
A red light appeared ahead. Boyd jammed on the brakes with somewhat more than the necessary force, and Malone was thrown forward with a grunt. Behind him there were two ladylike squeals.
Malone struggled upright. "Barbara?" he called. "Are you all right—"Then he remembered the Queen.
"It's all right," Her Majesty said. "I can understand your concern forLady Barbara." She smiled at Malone as he turned.
Malone gaped at her. Of course she knew what he thought about Barbara; she'd been reading his mind. And, apparently, she was on his side. That was good, even though it made him slightly nervous to think about.
"Now," the Queen said suddenly, "what about tonight?"
"Tonight?"
"Yes, of course," the Queen said. She smiled, and put up a hand to pat at her white hair under the Elizabethan skullcap. "I think I should like to go to the Palace," she said. "After all, isn't that where a Queen should be?"
Boyd said, in a kind of explosion: "London? England?"
"Oh, dear me…." the Queen began, and Barbara said:
"I'm afraid that I simply can't allow anything like that. Overseas—"
"I didn't mean overseas, dear," Her Majesty said. "Sir Kenneth, please explain to these people."
The Palace, Malone knew, was more properly known as the Golden Palace.It was right in Las Vegas—convenient to all sources of money.
As a matter of fact, it was one of the biggest gambling houses along the Las Vegas strip, a veritable chaos of wheels, cards, dice, chips and other such devices. Malone explained all this to the others, wondering meanwhile why Miss Thompson wanted to go there.
"Not Miss Thompson,please, Sir Kenneth," Her Majesty said.
"Not Miss Thompson what?" Boyd said. "What's going on anyhow?"
"She's reading my mind," Malone said.
"Well, then," Boyd snapped, "tell her to keep it to herself." The car started up again with a roar and Malone and the others were thrown around again, this time toward the back. There was a chorus of groans and squeals, and they were on their way once more.
"To reply to your question, Sir Kenneth," the Queen said.
Lady Barbara said, with some composure: "What question—Your Majesty?"
The Queen nodded regally at her. "Sir Kenneth was wondering why I wished to go to the Golden Palace," she said. "And my reply is this: it is none of your business why I want to go there. After all, is my word law, or isn't it?"
There didn't seem to be a good enough answer to that, Malone thought sadly. He kept quiet and was relieved to note that the others did the same. However, after a second he thought of something else.
"Your Majesty," he began carefully, "we've got to go to Yucca Flats tomorrow. Remember?"
"Certainly," the Queen said. "My memory is quite good, thank you. But that is tomorrow morning. We have the rest of the night left. It's only a little after nine, you know."
"Heavens," Barbara said. "Is it that late?"
"It's even later," Boyd said sourly. "It's much later than you think."
"And it's getting later all the time," Malone added. "Pretty soon the sun will go out and all life on earth will end. Won't that be nice and peaceful?"
"I'm looking forward to it," Boyd said.
"I'm not," Barbara said. "But I've got to get some sleep tonight, ifI'm going to be any good at all tomorrow."
You're pretty good right now, Malone thought, but he didn't say a word. He felt the Queen's eye on him but didn't turn around. After all, she was on his side—wasn't she?
At any rate, she didn't say anything.
"Perhaps it would be best," Barbara said, "if you and I—Your Majesty—just went home and rested up. Some other time, then, when there's nothing vital to do, we could—"
"No," the Queen said. "We couldn't. Really, Lady Barbara, how often will I have to remind you of the duties you owe your sovereign—not the least of which is obedience, as dear old Ben used to say."
"Ben?" Malone said, and immediately wished he hadn't.
"Johnson, dear boy," the Queen said. "Really a remarkable man—and such a good friend to poor Will. Why, did you ever hear the story of how he actually paid Will's rent in London once upon a time? That was while Will and that Anne of his were having one of their arguments, of course. I didn't tell you that story, did I?"
"No," Malone said truthfully, but his voice was full of foreboding."If I might remind Your Majesty of the subject," he added tentatively,"I should like to say—"
"Remind me of the subject!" the Queen said, obviously delighted. "What a lovely pun! And how much better because purely unconscious! My, my, Sir Kenneth, I never suspected you of a pointed sense of humor—could you be a descendant of Sir Richard Greene, I wonder?"
"I doubt it," Malone said. "My ancestors were all poor but Irish." He paused. "Or, if you prefer, Irish, but poor." Another pause, and then he added: "If that means anything at all. Which I doubt."
"In any case," the Queen said, her eyes twinkling, "you were about to enter a new objection to our little visit to the Palace, were you not?"
Malone admitted as much. "I really think that—"
Her eyes grew suddenly cold. "If I hear any more objections, Sir Kenneth, I shall not only rescind your knighthood and—when I regain my rightful kingdom—deny you your dukedom, but I shall refuse to cooperate any further in the business of Project Isle."
Malone turned cold. His face, he knew without glancing in the mirror, was white and pale. He thought of what Burris would do to him if he didn't follow through on his assigned job.
Even if he wasn't as good as Burris thought he was, he really liked being an FBI agent. He didn't want to be fired.
And Burris had said:"Give her anything she wants."
He gulped and tried to make his face look normal. "All right," he said. "Fine. We'll go to the Palace."
He tried to ignore the pall of apprehension that fell over the car.
6
The management of the Golden Palace had been in business for many long, dreary, profitable years, and each member of the staff thought he or she had seen just about everything there was to be seen. And those that were new felt an obligation tolookas if they'd seen everything.
Therefore, when the entourage of Queen Elizabeth I strolled into the main salon, not a single eye was batted. Not a single gasp was heard.
Nevertheless, the staff kept a discreet eye on the crew. Drunks, rich men or Arabian millionaires were all familiar. But a group out of the Sixteenth Century was something else again.
Malone almost strutted, conscious of the sidelong glances the group was drawing. But it was obvious that Sir Thomas was the major attraction. Even if you could accept the idea of people in strange costumes, the sight of a living, breathing absolute duplicate of King Henry VIII was a little too much to take. It has been reported that two ladies named Jane, and one named Catherine, came down with sudden headaches and left the salon within five minutes of the group's arrival.
Malone felt he knew, however, why he wasn't drawing his full share of attention. He felt a little out of place.
The costume was one thing, and, to tell the truth, he was beginning to enjoy it. Even with the weight of the stuff, it was going to be a wrench to go back to single-breasted suits and plain white shirts. But he did feel that he should have been carrying a sword.
Instead, he had a .44 Magnum Colt snuggled beneath his left armpit.
Somehow, a .44 Magnum Colt didn't seem as romantic as a sword. Malone pictured himself saying: "Take that, varlet." Was varlet what you called them, he wondered. Maybe it was valet.
"Take that, valet," he muttered. No, that sounded even worse. Oh, well, he could look it up later.
The truth was that he had been born in the wrong century. He could imagine himself at the Mermaid Tavern, hob-nobbing with Shakespeare and all the rest of them. He wondered if Richard Greene would be there. Then he wondered who Richard Greene was.
Behind Sir Kenneth, Sir Thomas Boyd strode, looking majestic, as if he were about to fling purses of gold to the citizenry. As a matter of fact, Malone thought, he was. They all were.
Purses of good old United States of America gold.
Behind Sir Thomas came Queen Elizabeth and her Lady-in-Waiting, LadyBarbara Wilson. They made a beautiful foursome.
"The roulette table," Her Majesty said with dignity. "Precede me."
They pushed their way through the crowd. Most of the customers were either excited enough, drunk enough, or both to see nothing in the least incongruous about a Royal Family of the Tudors invading the Golden Palace. Very few of them, as a matter of fact, seemed to notice the group.
They were roulette players. They noticed nothing but the table and the wheel. Malone wondered what they were thinking about, decided to ask Queen Elizabeth, and then decided against it. He felt it would make him nervous to know.
Her Majesty took a handful of chips.
The handful was worth, Malone knew, exactly five thousand dollars.That, he'd thought, ought to last them an evening, even in the GoldenPalace. In the center of the strip, inside the city limits of LasVegas itself, the five thousand would have lasted much longer—but HerMajesty wanted the Palace, and the Palace it was.
Malone began to smile. Since he couldn't avoid the evening, he was determined to enjoy it. It was sort of fun, in its way, indulging a sweet harmless old lady. And there was nothing they could do until the next morning, anyhow.
His indulgent smile faded very suddenly.
Her Majesty plunked the entire handful of chips—five thousand dollars!Malone thought dazedly—onto the table. "Five thousand," she said in clear, cool measured tones, "on number one."
The croupier blinked only slightly. He bowed. "Yes, Your Majesty," he said.
Malone was briefly thankful, in the midst of his black horror, that he had called the management and told them that the Queen's plays were backed by the United States Government. Her Majesty was going to get unlimited credit—and a good deal of awed and somewhat puzzled respect.
Malone watched the spin begin with mixed feelings. There was five thousand dollars riding on the little ball. But, after all, Her Majesty was a telepath. Did that mean anything?
He hadn't decided by the time the wheel stopped, and by then he didn't have to decide.
"Thirty-four," the croupier said tonelessly. "Red, Even and High."
He raked in the chips with a nonchalant air.
Malone felt as if he had swallowed his stomach. Boyd and Lady Barbara, standing nearby, had absolutely no expressions on their faces. Malone needed no telepath to tell him what they were thinking.
They were exactly the same as he was. They were incapable of thought.
But Her Majesty never batted an eyelash. "Come, Sir Kenneth," she said. "Let's go on to the poker tables."
She swept out. Her entourage followed her, shambling a little, and blank-eyed. Malone was still thinking about the five thousand dollars. Oh, well, Burris had said to give the lady anything she wanted.But my God!he thought.Did she have to play for royal stakes?
"I am, after all, a Queen," she whispered back to him.
Malone thought about the National Debt. He wondered if a million more or less would make any real difference. There would be questions asked in committees about it. He tried to imagine himself explaining the evening to a group of Congressmen. "Well, you see, gentlemen, there was this roulette wheel—"
He gave it up.
Then he wondered how much hotter the water was going to get, and he stopped thinking altogether in self-defense.
In the next room, there were scattered tables. At one, a poker game was in full swing. Only five were playing; one, by his white-tie-and- tails uniform, was easily recognizable as a house dealer. The other four were all men, one of them in full cowboy regalia. The Tudors descended upon them with great suddenness, and the house dealer looked up and almost lost his cigarette.
"We haven't any money, Your Majesty," Malone whispered.
She smiled up at him sweetly, and then drew him aside. "If you were a telepath," she said, "how wouldyouplay poker?"
Malone thought about that for a minute, and then turned to look forBoyd. But Sir Thomas didn't even have to be given instructions."Another five hundred?" he said.
Her Majesty sniffed audibly. "Another five thousand," she said regally.
Boyd looked Malonewards. Malone looked defeated.
Boyd turned with a small sigh and headed for the cashier's booth.Three minutes later, he was back with a fat fistful of chips.
"Five grand?" Malone whispered to him.
"Ten," Boyd said. "I know when to back a winner."
Her Majesty went over to the table. The dealer had regained control, but looked up at them with a puzzled stare.
"You know," the Queen said, with an obvious attempt to put the man at his ease, "I've always wanted to visit a gambling hall."
"Sure, lady," the dealer said. "Naturally."
"May I sit down?"
The dealer looked at the group. "How about your friends?" he said cautiously.
The queen shook her head. "They would rather watch, I'm sure."
For once Malone blessed the woman's telepathic talent. He, Boyd andBarbara Wilson formed a kind of Guard of Honor around the chair whichHer Majesty occupied. Boyd handed over the new pile of chips, and wasfavored with a royal smile.
"This is a poker game, ma'am," the dealer said to her quietly.
"I know, I know," Her Majesty said with a trace of testiness. "Roll 'em."
The dealer stared at her popeyed. Next to her, the gentleman in the cowboy outfit turned. "Ma'am, are you from around these parts?" he said.
"Oh, no," the Queen said. "I'm from England."
"England?" The cowboy looked puzzled. "You don't seem to have any accent, ma'am," he said at last.
"Certainly not," the Queen said. "I've lost that; I've been over here a great many years."
Malone hoped fervently that Her Majesty wouldn't mention just how many years. He didn't think he could stand it, and he was almost grateful for the cowboy's nasal twang.
"Oil?" he said.
"Oh, no," Her Majesty said. "The Government is providing this money."
"The Government?"
"Certainly," Her Majesty said. "The FBI, you know."
There was a long silence.
At last, the dealer said: "Five-card draw your game, ma'am?"
"If you please," Her Majesty said.
The dealer shrugged and, apparently, commended his soul to a gambler's God. He passed the pasteboards around the table with the air of one who will have nothing more to do with the world.
Her Majesty picked up her hand.
"The ante's ten, ma'am," the dealer said softly.
Without looking, Her Majesty removed a ten-dollar chip from the pile before her and sent it spinning to the middle of the table.
The dealer opened his mouth, but said nothing. Malone, meanwhile, was peering over the Queen's shoulder.
She held a pair of nines, a four, a three and a Jack.
The man to the left of the dealer announced glumly: "Can't open."
The next man grinned. "Open for twenty," he said.
Malone closed his eyes. He heard the cowboy say: "I'm in," and he opened his eyes again. The Queen was pushing two ten-dollar chips toward the center of the table.
The next man dropped, and the dealer looked round the table. "How many?"
The man who couldn't open took three cards. The man who'd opened for twenty stood pat. Malone shuddered invisibly. That, he figured, meant a straight or better. And Queen Elizabeth Thompson was going in against at least a straight with a pair of nines, Jack high.
For the first time, it was borne in on Malone that being a telepath did not necessarily mean that you were a good poker player. Even if you knew what every other person at the table held, you could still make a whole lot of stupid mistakes.
He looked nervously at Queen Elizabeth, but her face was serene. Apparently she'd been following the thoughts of the poker players, and not concentrating on him at all. That was a relief. He felt, for the first time in days, as if he could think freely.
The cowboy said: "Two," and took them. It was Her Majesty's turn.
"I'll take two," she said, and threw away the three and four. It left her with the nine of spades and the nine of hearts, and the Jack of diamonds.
These were joined, in a matter of seconds, by two bright new cards: the six of clubs and the three of hearts.
Malone closed his eyes.Oh, well, he thought.
It was only thirty bucks down the drain. Practically nothing.
Of course Her Majesty dropped at once; knowing what the other players held, she knew she couldn't beat them after the draw. But she did like to take long chances, Malone thought miserably. Imagine trying to fill a full house on one pair!
Slowly, as the minutes passed, the pile of chips before Her Majesty dwindled. Once Malone saw her win with two pair against a reckless man trying to fill a straight on the other side of the table. But whatever was going on, Her Majesty's face was as calm as if she were asleep.
Malone's worked overtime. If the Queen hadn't been losing so obviously, the dealer might have mistaken the play of naked emotion across his visage for a series of particularly obvious signals.
An hour went by. Barbara left to find a ladies' lounge where she could sit down and try to relax. Fascinated in a horrible sort of way, both Malone and Boyd stood, rooted to the spot, while hand after hand went by and the ten thousand dollars dwindled to half that, to a quarter, and even less….
Her Majesty, it seemed, was a damn poor poker player.
The ante had been raised by this time.
Her Majesty was losing one hundred dollars a hand, even before the betting began. But she showed not the slightest indication to stop.
"We've got to get up in the morning," Malone announced to no one in particular, when he thought he couldn't possibly stand another half- hour of the game.
"So we do," Her Majesty said with a little regretful sigh. "Very well, then. Just one more hand."
"It's a shame to lose you," the cowboy said to her, quite sincerely. He had been winning steadily ever since Her Majesty sat down, and Malone thought that the man should, by this time, be awfully grateful to the United States Government. Somehow, he doubted that this gratitude existed.
Malone wondered if she should be allowed to stay for one more hand.There was, he estimated, about two thousand dollars in front of her.Then he wondered how he was going to stop her.
The cards were dealt.
The first man said quietly: "Open for two hundred."
Malone looked at the Queen's hand. It contained the Ace, King, Queen and ten of clubs—and the seven of spades.
Oh, no.He thought.She couldn't possibly be thinking of filling a flush.
He knew perfectly well that she was.
The second man said: "And raise two hundred."
The Queen equably tossed (counting, Malone thought, the ante) five hundred into the pot.
The cowboy muttered to himself for a second, and finally shoved in his money.
"I think I'll raise it another five hundred," the Queen said calmly.
Malone wanted to die of shock.
Unfortunately, he remained alive and watching. He saw the last man, after some debate internal, shove a total of one thousand dollars into the pot.
"Cards?" said the dealer. The first man said: "One."
It was too much to hope for, Malone thought. If that first man were trying to fill a straight or a flush, maybe he wouldn't make it. And maybe something final would happen to all the other players. But that was the only way he could see for Her Majesty to win.
The card was dealt. The second man stood pat and Malone's green tinge became obvious to the veriest dunce. The cowboy, on Her Majesty's right, asked for a card, received it and sat back without a trace of expression.
The Queen said: "I'll try one for size." She'd picked up poker lingo, and the basic rules of the game, Malone realized, from the other players—or possibly from someone at the hospital itself, years ago.
He wished she'd picked up something less dangerous instead, like a love of big-game hunting, or stunt-flying.
But no. It had to be poker.
The Queen threw away her seven of spades, showing more sense than Malone had given her credit for at any time during the game. She let the other card fall and didn't look at it.
She smiled up at Malone and Boyd. "Live dangerously," she said gaily.
Malone gave her a hollow laugh.
The last man drew one card, too, and the betting began.
The Queen's remaining thousand was gone before an eye could notice it.She turned to Boyd.
"Sir Thomas," she said. "Another five thousand, please. At once."
Boyd said nothing at all, but marched off. Malone noticed, however, that his step was neither as springy nor as confident as it had been before. For himself, Malone was sure that he could not walk at all.
Maybe, he thought hopefully, the floor would open up and swallow them all. He tried to imagine explaining the loss of $20,000 to Burris and some congressmen, and after that he watched the floor narrowly, hoping for the smallest hint of a crack in the palazzo marble.
"May I raise the whole five thousand?" the Queen said.
"It's okay with me," the dealer said. "How about the rest of you?"
The four grunts he got expressed a suppressed eagerness. The Queen took the new chips Boyd had brought her and shoved them into the center of the table with a fine, careless gesture of her hand. She smiled gaily at everybody. "Seeing me?" she said.
Everybody was.
"Well, you see, it was this way," Malone muttered to himself, rehearsing. He half-thought that one of the others would raise again, but no one did. After all, each of them must be convinced that he held a great hand, and though raising had gone on throughout the hand, each must now be afraid of going the least little bit too far and scaring the others out.
"Mr. Congressman," Malone muttered. "There's this game called poker.You play it with cards and money. Chiefly money."
That wasn't any good.
"You've been called," the dealer said to the first man, who'd opened the hand a year or so before.
"Why, sure," the player said, and laid down a pair of aces, a pair of threes—and a four. One of the threes, and the four, were clubs. That reduced the already improbable chances of the Queen's coming up with a flush.
"Sorry," said the second man, and laid down a straight with a single gesture.
The straight was nine-high and there were no clubs in it. Malone felt devoutly thankful for that.
The second man reached for the money but, under the popeyed gaze of the dealer, the fifth man laid down another straight—this one ten high. The nine was a club Malone felt the odds go down, right in his own stomach.
And now the cowboy put down his cards. The King of diamonds. The King of hearts. The Jack of diamonds. The Jack of spades. And—the Jack of hearts.
Full house. "Well," said the cowboy, "I suppose that does it."
The Queen said: "Please. One moment."
The cowboy stopped halfway in his reach for the enormous pile of chips. The Queen laid down her four clubs—Ace, King, Queen and ten— and for the first time flipped over her fifth card.
It was the Jack of clubs.
"My God," the cowboy said, and it sounded like a prayer. "A royal flush."
"Naturally," the Queen said. "What else?"
Her Majesty calmly scooped up the tremendous pile of chips. The cowboy's hands fell away. Five mouths were open around the table.
Her Majesty stood up. She smiled sweetly at the men around the table."Thank you very much, gentlemen," she said. She handed the chips toMalone, who took them in nerveless fingers. "Sir Kenneth," she said,"I hereby appoint you temporary Chancellor of the Exchequer—at leastuntil Parliament convenes."
There was, Malone thought, at least thirty-five thousand dollars in the pile. He could think of nothing to say.
So, instead of using up words, he went and cashed in the chips. For once, he realized, the Government had made money on an investment. It was probably the first time since 1775.
Malone thought vaguely that the government ought to make more investments like the one he was cashing in. If it did, the National Debt could be wiped out in a matter of days.