"First it was Carrie who claimed my heart,And I thought from her I never would part;Then it was Rose, with her winsome eyesOf an azure as deep as the tropic skies;And next it was Alice, so mild and meek;I loved her fondly for nearly a week;Then came Elizabeth's fickle reign,And after her Mary and Kate and Jane;A dozen more for a time held sway,Sometimes for a month, sometimes for a day;And yet I'm not married; for, truth to tell,I could make no choice, I loved all so well."
"First it was Carrie who claimed my heart,And I thought from her I never would part;Then it was Rose, with her winsome eyesOf an azure as deep as the tropic skies;And next it was Alice, so mild and meek;I loved her fondly for nearly a week;Then came Elizabeth's fickle reign,And after her Mary and Kate and Jane;A dozen more for a time held sway,Sometimes for a month, sometimes for a day;And yet I'm not married; for, truth to tell,I could make no choice, I loved all so well."
"First it was Carrie who claimed my heart,
And I thought from her I never would part;
Then it was Rose, with her winsome eyes
Of an azure as deep as the tropic skies;
And next it was Alice, so mild and meek;
I loved her fondly for nearly a week;
Then came Elizabeth's fickle reign,
And after her Mary and Kate and Jane;
A dozen more for a time held sway,
Sometimes for a month, sometimes for a day;
And yet I'm not married; for, truth to tell,
I could make no choice, I loved all so well."
Number twelve speaks thus:
"I never would marryThe best of men;Though they've tried to persuade meAgain and again;I know too wellWhat's good for meTo wed any man,Whoever he be;If he tells you he loves you,He means to deceive you;If he says he'll be faithful,He's planning to leave you;You may think him as meekAs ever was Moses;You may think him as sweetAs a garden of roses;You may think him as goodAs good can be;But just rememberOne word from me;Whatever they seemTo be or have been,You just can't tellOne thing about men.
"I never would marryThe best of men;Though they've tried to persuade meAgain and again;I know too wellWhat's good for meTo wed any man,Whoever he be;If he tells you he loves you,He means to deceive you;If he says he'll be faithful,He's planning to leave you;You may think him as meekAs ever was Moses;You may think him as sweetAs a garden of roses;You may think him as goodAs good can be;But just rememberOne word from me;Whatever they seemTo be or have been,You just can't tellOne thing about men.
"I never would marry
The best of men;
Though they've tried to persuade me
Again and again;
I know too well
What's good for me
To wed any man,
Whoever he be;
If he tells you he loves you,
He means to deceive you;
If he says he'll be faithful,
He's planning to leave you;
You may think him as meek
As ever was Moses;
You may think him as sweet
As a garden of roses;
You may think him as good
As good can be;
But just remember
One word from me;
Whatever they seem
To be or have been,
You just can't tell
One thing about men.
Number thirteen and number fourteen advance together, and the former speaks first as follows:
"I've been in love with lots of girls,A bachelor's life I hate;I've all the time that I could wantTo find and win a mate;I've never come in contact withA brick-objecting pa,Or been deterred by brothers smallOr loudly calling ma;I've never found it hard to chooseWith whom I would be mated;Oh, no, 'tis quite another cause—I'm not appreciated;I've popped the question o'er and o'er,But if you will believe me,There wasn't one of all of themThat I could get to have me.And that is why I'm left alone,Now love's young dream is gone,To darn my hose and mend my clo'esAnd sew my buttons on."
"I've been in love with lots of girls,A bachelor's life I hate;I've all the time that I could wantTo find and win a mate;I've never come in contact withA brick-objecting pa,Or been deterred by brothers smallOr loudly calling ma;I've never found it hard to chooseWith whom I would be mated;Oh, no, 'tis quite another cause—I'm not appreciated;I've popped the question o'er and o'er,But if you will believe me,There wasn't one of all of themThat I could get to have me.And that is why I'm left alone,Now love's young dream is gone,To darn my hose and mend my clo'esAnd sew my buttons on."
"I've been in love with lots of girls,
A bachelor's life I hate;
I've all the time that I could want
To find and win a mate;
I've never come in contact with
A brick-objecting pa,
Or been deterred by brothers small
Or loudly calling ma;
I've never found it hard to choose
With whom I would be mated;
Oh, no, 'tis quite another cause—
I'm not appreciated;
I've popped the question o'er and o'er,
But if you will believe me,
There wasn't one of all of them
That I could get to have me.
And that is why I'm left alone,
Now love's young dream is gone,
To darn my hose and mend my clo'es
And sew my buttons on."
Then number fourteen says:
"My friends have all told you the reason why theyKeep on in a lonesome, old-maidenly way,Without any husband to lighten their loads,Without any helper to smooth the rough roads;I, too, am unmarried, but not for the causesThat they have all stated in rhythmical clauses:My lover didn't die,And he never went away;My father didn't standA moment in my way;I've never quarreled once,Nor been bothered to decide,But I've got a first-class reasonWhy I've never been a bride;At any kind of missionI wouldn't even glance;The simple truth is this—I've never had a chance;Other folks, I s'pose, have had 'em,But they've never come to me;Though I don't see why they shouldn't,For I'm willing as can be;And all I've got to say is,And I say it frank and free,If you think I won't get married,Just you question me and see."
"My friends have all told you the reason why theyKeep on in a lonesome, old-maidenly way,Without any husband to lighten their loads,Without any helper to smooth the rough roads;I, too, am unmarried, but not for the causesThat they have all stated in rhythmical clauses:My lover didn't die,And he never went away;My father didn't standA moment in my way;I've never quarreled once,Nor been bothered to decide,But I've got a first-class reasonWhy I've never been a bride;At any kind of missionI wouldn't even glance;The simple truth is this—I've never had a chance;Other folks, I s'pose, have had 'em,But they've never come to me;Though I don't see why they shouldn't,For I'm willing as can be;And all I've got to say is,And I say it frank and free,If you think I won't get married,Just you question me and see."
"My friends have all told you the reason why they
Keep on in a lonesome, old-maidenly way,
Without any husband to lighten their loads,
Without any helper to smooth the rough roads;
I, too, am unmarried, but not for the causes
That they have all stated in rhythmical clauses:
My lover didn't die,And he never went away;My father didn't standA moment in my way;I've never quarreled once,Nor been bothered to decide,But I've got a first-class reasonWhy I've never been a bride;At any kind of missionI wouldn't even glance;The simple truth is this—I've never had a chance;Other folks, I s'pose, have had 'em,But they've never come to me;Though I don't see why they shouldn't,For I'm willing as can be;And all I've got to say is,And I say it frank and free,If you think I won't get married,Just you question me and see."
My lover didn't die,
And he never went away;
My father didn't stand
A moment in my way;
I've never quarreled once,
Nor been bothered to decide,
But I've got a first-class reason
Why I've never been a bride;
At any kind of mission
I wouldn't even glance;
The simple truth is this—
I've never had a chance;
Other folks, I s'pose, have had 'em,
But they've never come to me;
Though I don't see why they shouldn't,
For I'm willing as can be;
And all I've got to say is,
And I say it frank and free,
If you think I won't get married,
Just you question me and see."
At the close of number fourteen's recitation, all rise and stand in two rows, facing each other, the ladies in one row and the gentlemen in the other. The gentlemen then recite in concert as follows:
"Since we all are yet unmated,And are getting on in years,Why not now decide the matterBy dividing up in pairs?If I ask you to accept me,And my lonely life to bless,Will you? Will you? Will you?"
"Since we all are yet unmated,And are getting on in years,Why not now decide the matterBy dividing up in pairs?If I ask you to accept me,And my lonely life to bless,Will you? Will you? Will you?"
"Since we all are yet unmated,
And are getting on in years,
Why not now decide the matter
By dividing up in pairs?
If I ask you to accept me,
And my lonely life to bless,
Will you? Will you? Will you?"
Ladies in chorus:
"Yes!"
"Yes!"
"Yes!"
Each lady takes the arm of the gentleman facing her, and all walk off to the music of the wedding march.
An Entertainment for the Sunday-School
The Sunday-school, school or club is assembled; the stage is concealed by a curtain, and the Christmas tree, which is near the stage, by another curtain or screen. The tree is decorated in the usual manner, minus the gifts, which are concealed near the stage ready to be delivered when the right time comes. The tree need not be lighted until the closing of any preliminary exercises that have been arranged. After lighting, the tree should be exposed to the view of all. When the children have gazed at it for a few moments, the superintendent or some other suitable person should come forward, as if to distribute the gifts as usual. He should survey the tree attentively and from different standpoints, and finally, with great astonishment, exclaim:
"Why, what in the world does this mean? What strange thing is this? What is the matter with my eyes? [Rubbing his eyes to see better.] I can't see! As true as I live, I cannot see a single Christmas gift upon this tree! Think of it, a Christmas tree with no presents! Am I growing blind? [Rubbing his eyes again.]
"Do you see any? [Turning to any child near.] Well, I thought so! It is too true, children, that although we have a Christmas tree, and a fine one, too, there is not a single gift upon it; no, not even a little one for a little bit of a girl! Now, this is altogether too bad of Santa Claus to forget this Sunday-school—when we've gotten all ready for him, too, lighted the tree and decorated it so beautifully! It isn't a bit like him, either. He never did such a thing before. He can't have forgotten us. The blessed old Saint wouldn't do that! Maybe his reindeer are lame and he is slow in getting here. No! He would have sent Jack Frost on ahead to tell us to wait. Let me think a moment. It can't be that any of you children have been so naughty that he thinks we don't deserve a visit from him, can it? No, no, that cannot be; it is a mistake, somehow. It is very mysterious; I never heard of the like before—no, never——
"Well, what are we going to do about it, anyway? Can't some one speak up and explain this mystery, or at least tell us what to do to celebrate Christmas?"
At this juncture the sound of sleigh-bells is heard at the back or side of the stage, and a loud "Whoa!" and a shrill whistle. There is an instant of bustling, crunching of ice, stamping and pawing of feet, then the door bursts open suddenly, as if by a gust of wind, and a nimble little fellow bounces in, clad all in red and flecked with tufts of cotton on cap and shoulders to look like snow. He wears a high, peaked cap of red with a bobbing tassel on the peak, and carries a long thong whip, which he flourishes in time to the rhyme he chants:
"Ho for us! hey for us!Please clear the way for us!I'm Jack Frost from Icicle-land,Driver of Santa's four-in-hand;Though late you will ask no excuse."
"Ho for us! hey for us!Please clear the way for us!I'm Jack Frost from Icicle-land,Driver of Santa's four-in-hand;Though late you will ask no excuse."
"Ho for us! hey for us!
Please clear the way for us!
I'm Jack Frost from Icicle-land,
Driver of Santa's four-in-hand;
Though late you will ask no excuse."
With a flourish he draws back the curtain, announcing "Mrs. Santa Claus!" There, with a mammoth pumpkin standing by her side, is seen a beaming-faced little fat woman. She is dressed in a fur cloak, or fur-lined circular turned wrong side out, an ermine poke bonnet, made of white cotton-wool, with black worsted tails, and an immense muff of the same. She steps forward, and in a dramatic style delivers this address:
Mrs. Santa Claus's Address
"Good-evening to you, children dear;I know you cannot guessThe reason I am here to-night,And so I'll just confessThat I am Mrs. Santa Claus—Old Santa Claus's wife;You've never seen me here before,I'm sure, in all your life."So if you'll listen patiently,I'll tell the reason whyOld Santa could not come to-night,And why instead came I;He is so very busy now,Has so many schools—you seeHe can't find time to visit all,And deck each Christmas tree."And so he said unto his wife:'My faithful partner dear,That Sunday-school's expecting meTo help keep Christmas cheer;As I can't possibly reach there,I'm disappointed quite;I know that they will look for meWith shining eyes so bright!'"I, Mrs. Santa, thus replied:'Please let your better-halfGo visit that nice Sunday-school;'Twill make the children laugh.'This plan just suited Santa Claus;He sent Jack Frost to drive;He knew what fun 'twould be for meAmong you thus to arrive!"And so, lest him you should forget,That blessed, dear old fellowThe queerest Christmas gift sends you,This pumpkin, big and yellow;He hopes that when you cut it upYou'll quite delighted be,To find the inside quite differentFrom what you're used to see."Now if the shell is not too hardI'll cut it open wide,That you may see with your own eyesThis curious inside. [She cuts it open.]Ah, yes! we've found the inside now,And so present to viewThis fairy, who, from Wonderland,Has come to visit you."
"Good-evening to you, children dear;I know you cannot guessThe reason I am here to-night,And so I'll just confessThat I am Mrs. Santa Claus—Old Santa Claus's wife;You've never seen me here before,I'm sure, in all your life."So if you'll listen patiently,I'll tell the reason whyOld Santa could not come to-night,And why instead came I;He is so very busy now,Has so many schools—you seeHe can't find time to visit all,And deck each Christmas tree."And so he said unto his wife:'My faithful partner dear,That Sunday-school's expecting meTo help keep Christmas cheer;As I can't possibly reach there,I'm disappointed quite;I know that they will look for meWith shining eyes so bright!'"I, Mrs. Santa, thus replied:'Please let your better-halfGo visit that nice Sunday-school;'Twill make the children laugh.'This plan just suited Santa Claus;He sent Jack Frost to drive;He knew what fun 'twould be for meAmong you thus to arrive!"And so, lest him you should forget,That blessed, dear old fellowThe queerest Christmas gift sends you,This pumpkin, big and yellow;He hopes that when you cut it upYou'll quite delighted be,To find the inside quite differentFrom what you're used to see."Now if the shell is not too hardI'll cut it open wide,That you may see with your own eyesThis curious inside. [She cuts it open.]Ah, yes! we've found the inside now,And so present to viewThis fairy, who, from Wonderland,Has come to visit you."
"Good-evening to you, children dear;I know you cannot guessThe reason I am here to-night,And so I'll just confessThat I am Mrs. Santa Claus—Old Santa Claus's wife;You've never seen me here before,I'm sure, in all your life.
"Good-evening to you, children dear;
I know you cannot guess
The reason I am here to-night,
And so I'll just confess
That I am Mrs. Santa Claus—
Old Santa Claus's wife;
You've never seen me here before,
I'm sure, in all your life.
"So if you'll listen patiently,I'll tell the reason whyOld Santa could not come to-night,And why instead came I;He is so very busy now,Has so many schools—you seeHe can't find time to visit all,And deck each Christmas tree.
"So if you'll listen patiently,
I'll tell the reason why
Old Santa could not come to-night,
And why instead came I;
He is so very busy now,
Has so many schools—you see
He can't find time to visit all,
And deck each Christmas tree.
"And so he said unto his wife:'My faithful partner dear,That Sunday-school's expecting meTo help keep Christmas cheer;As I can't possibly reach there,I'm disappointed quite;I know that they will look for meWith shining eyes so bright!'
"And so he said unto his wife:
'My faithful partner dear,
That Sunday-school's expecting me
To help keep Christmas cheer;
As I can't possibly reach there,
I'm disappointed quite;
I know that they will look for me
With shining eyes so bright!'
"I, Mrs. Santa, thus replied:'Please let your better-halfGo visit that nice Sunday-school;'Twill make the children laugh.'This plan just suited Santa Claus;He sent Jack Frost to drive;He knew what fun 'twould be for meAmong you thus to arrive!
"I, Mrs. Santa, thus replied:
'Please let your better-half
Go visit that nice Sunday-school;
'Twill make the children laugh.'
This plan just suited Santa Claus;
He sent Jack Frost to drive;
He knew what fun 'twould be for me
Among you thus to arrive!
"And so, lest him you should forget,That blessed, dear old fellowThe queerest Christmas gift sends you,This pumpkin, big and yellow;He hopes that when you cut it upYou'll quite delighted be,To find the inside quite differentFrom what you're used to see.
"And so, lest him you should forget,
That blessed, dear old fellow
The queerest Christmas gift sends you,
This pumpkin, big and yellow;
He hopes that when you cut it up
You'll quite delighted be,
To find the inside quite different
From what you're used to see.
"Now if the shell is not too hardI'll cut it open wide,That you may see with your own eyesThis curious inside. [She cuts it open.]Ah, yes! we've found the inside now,And so present to viewThis fairy, who, from Wonderland,Has come to visit you."
"Now if the shell is not too hard
I'll cut it open wide,
That you may see with your own eyes
This curious inside. [She cuts it open.]
Ah, yes! we've found the inside now,
And so present to view
This fairy, who, from Wonderland,
Has come to visit you."
The fairy, a little girl dressed in white, with a wand, and wings, if possible, skips out of the pumpkin and sings:
Fairy's Song(Tune, "Little Buttercup")
"Yes I am a fairy, a genuine fairy,And if you cannot tell whyI've come in this pumpkin, this big yellow pumpkin,The reason to guess you may try."I bring you sweet tokens, yes, many fond tokens,Of love and sweet friendship true;From sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers,And many dear friends who love you."So here are your presents, your own Christmas presents,With which you may now deck your tree,So please to remember the bright Christmas fairy,The bright Christmas fairy you see."I wish you 'Merry Christmas,' a real merry Christmas,And also a 'Happy New-Year;'If you love one another, each sister and brother,No harm from the fairies you'll fear."
"Yes I am a fairy, a genuine fairy,And if you cannot tell whyI've come in this pumpkin, this big yellow pumpkin,The reason to guess you may try."I bring you sweet tokens, yes, many fond tokens,Of love and sweet friendship true;From sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers,And many dear friends who love you."So here are your presents, your own Christmas presents,With which you may now deck your tree,So please to remember the bright Christmas fairy,The bright Christmas fairy you see."I wish you 'Merry Christmas,' a real merry Christmas,And also a 'Happy New-Year;'If you love one another, each sister and brother,No harm from the fairies you'll fear."
"Yes I am a fairy, a genuine fairy,And if you cannot tell whyI've come in this pumpkin, this big yellow pumpkin,The reason to guess you may try.
"Yes I am a fairy, a genuine fairy,
And if you cannot tell why
I've come in this pumpkin, this big yellow pumpkin,
The reason to guess you may try.
"I bring you sweet tokens, yes, many fond tokens,Of love and sweet friendship true;From sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers,And many dear friends who love you.
"I bring you sweet tokens, yes, many fond tokens,
Of love and sweet friendship true;
From sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers,
And many dear friends who love you.
"So here are your presents, your own Christmas presents,With which you may now deck your tree,So please to remember the bright Christmas fairy,The bright Christmas fairy you see.
"So here are your presents, your own Christmas presents,
With which you may now deck your tree,
So please to remember the bright Christmas fairy,
The bright Christmas fairy you see.
"I wish you 'Merry Christmas,' a real merry Christmas,And also a 'Happy New-Year;'If you love one another, each sister and brother,No harm from the fairies you'll fear."
"I wish you 'Merry Christmas,' a real merry Christmas,
And also a 'Happy New-Year;'
If you love one another, each sister and brother,
No harm from the fairies you'll fear."
The gifts are then distributed by the fairy, who appears to take them from the inside of the pumpkin. Unless the children are too small, and likely to be timid, they should go forward to receive their gifts when their names are called by the fairy, who apparently knows them all by name, but who is prompted by some one reading from a list standing behind the curtain close by her side. Jack Frost whisks about helping the fairy hand out the gifts and assisting the wee ones to get down off the stage with their bundles. During Mrs. Santa's address he might carelessly perch himself upon the pumpkin.
The pumpkin is made with a strong wire frame (can be made at any hardware store), and covered with a deep yellow cambric with an occasional green smutch painted upon it. It is in two hemispheres and is tied together strongly at the bottom and loosely at the top, so that the fairy inside can easily loosen the top string and step out when Mrs. Santa cuts open the pumpkin with a large carving-knife.
In case it is not practicable to have a pumpkin-frame made, substitute for it a gigantic snowball made of cotton-wool, covered with diamond-dust to sparkle like snow-crystals. Two large old-fashioned umbrellas that are dome-shaped will serve very nicely for the frame of a spherical ball, if the tips of the ribs are wired together. It should then be covered inside and outside with white cloth on which the cotton batting can be basted. With such an arrangement it would be necessary to dispense with the fairy, but the little folks might have the surprise of seeing the snowball slowly open at a snap from Jack Frost's whip, disclosing a nest of smaller snowballs. These Jack Frost might toss to the children and, when opened, they might be found to contain candy and nuts.