Reg.Adri.Doller.Ralph.Anas.Sam., Adol.Corio.Hilda.R.L.C.
Reg.Adri.
Reg.
Adri.
Doller.Ralph.
Doller.
Ralph.
Anas.Sam., Adol.
Anas.
Sam., Adol.
Corio.Hilda.
Corio.
Hilda.
R.L.
R.
L.
Quick Curtain.
Scene 1:Sitting Room of the Maitland Cottage.
Anastasiadiscovered knitting, seated at table, L. C.Coriolanusat door, R. 3 E.
Anas.Coriolanus, have you ordered the carriage to the station?
Corio.Your orders have been obeyed, madam! [With bow. Crosses to C.]
Anas.Then everything is in readiness for the reception of the bride and groom. You may retire, Coriolanus, and be pleased to announce them as soon as they arrive.
Corio.I will hold myself in readiness to gratify your desires. [Going, aside.] The darling creature! She cannot trust her feelings when alone in my presence. Every look, every action, speak of the great admiration she has for me.
Anas.Well! [Impatiently.] Will you go?
Corio.I quicken! [ExitD. R. 3 E.]
Anas.The stupid dolt, with his stuck-up manners. I hate him! I wonder whether Mary has attended to the room. [Goes to door, L. 2 E., and calls.] Mary! Mary! [Maryanswers off entrance, “Ma’am.”] Have you thoroughly aired Reginald’s apartments? [Mary, as before, “Yes, Ma’am.”Anastasiacloses door.] So! Reginald and his bride will soon be here, and they will find everything well regulated, thanks to my personal supervision. Ican’t say that I like Reginald’s choice. The bold thing, to throw herself upon a man like that, and before everybody, too! It’s outrageous—not a bit of maidenly modesty—I shall hate her, I know I shall. And Reginald was so pleased to accept the proud thing. What fools men are! Well, well; I hope the dear boy will not be disappointed in her and live unhappily. [She sighs heavily and resumes knitting.] What a strange thing love is, to be sure. Who could that stranger have been I met in the garden—such a splendid man! So full of good sense! So polite! Oh, perfectly lovely! I could fall in love with such a dear man. [EnterMorris Maitland, D. R. 2 E.] I——Morris!
Mor.[C.] Not yet arrived? H’m! The train must be late. Has the carriage gone?
Anas.Yes, brother! I gave Coriolanus strict orders to attend to it!
Mor.Well, I suppose they will get here in good time. But it’s getting late—past nine o’clock. [At table, L. C.] Sister, you will do all in your power to make Reginald’s wife comfortable and receive her with the respect due the wife of my honored son.
Anas.I will do my part, Morris, provided she does hers. But I’m afraid Reginald has made a poor choice.
Mor.Sister, you are prejudiced. Reginald is an honest, sensible and dutiful son. Although her connections are very aristocratic, more so, in fact, than I could cordially approve, yet, I have faith in him to believe that his choice has been wise, and that she will prove an honor to my son and the pride of his father’s heart.
Anas.Well, I have no more to say. I hope that she will fulfill your expectations.
Mor.She is now my daughter and shall receive a hearty welcome into the bosom of our family.
EnterCoriolanus, D. R. 3 E.
Corio.Reginald and Adrienne Maitland! [Morrisat L. C.;Anastasiarises and goes to fireplace, L. 3 E.]
EnterReginald,AdrienneandHilda, D. R. 3 E.Hilda, R.,Adrienne, R. C.,Reginald, C.,Morris, L. C.,Anastasia, L.
Mor.[EmbracingReginald.] My son! welcome to your paternal home.
Reg.Father, allow me to bring to you a daughter, my wife. [Leads her to him, then crosses to shake hands withAnastasia.]
Mor.My daughter, welcome to our humble home—receive the blessing of—
Adri.[Coldly.] Thanks! You honor me. [Crosses to L.] Reginald, [wearily] I am tired. [Morrisretreats painfully.Anastasiaexchanges looks with him and draws herself loftily erect.]
Reg.Adrienne, my aunt—Miss Maitland.
Adri.[Bows haughtily.] We’ve met before. [ToReginald.] Conduct me to my room. [Reginaldbows.ExeuntAdrienneandReginald, D. L. 2 E.Hildafollows with wraps, etc.Morriscrosses to R. Sinks in armchair R. of table.]
Anas.H’m! I thought so! An iceberg. Proud and dignified. Above such humble surroundings! Brother!
Mor.My son! my son!
Anas.Did I not tell you? Perhaps you’ll give me credit in the future for a little sense.
Mor.[Sternly.] Anastasia! Leave me.
Anas.Well, you needn’t bite my head off because I spoke the truth. [Exitin dudgeon, D. R. 3 E.]
Mor.My fondest expectations blighted. Heaven grant they will be happy! but—[shakes his head] I doubt it—I doubt it.
EnterReginald, D. L. 2 E. He approaches table slowly.Morrisrises and turns away.
Reg.Father!
Mor.[Turns suddenly and embraces him.] Oh, my son! I had such hopes for your future happiness! But alas!
Reg.Why, father, can you for a moment doubt it? [Morrisshakes his head.] Adrienne is fatigued—worn out—weary from travel. Our journey has been extensive. In the morning she will be herself again.
Mor.I sincerely hope so, my son! but I fear you have made a great mistake. You may have loved well, but I fear too unwisely.
Reg.Father, you are mistaken in Adrienne. She is all that is noble—as free from deceit and the taint of the world as a child unborn. No, no, father! she is all that an honorable man could wish.
Mor.For your sake, I wish I could think as you do, but I cannot. Did she love you as a wife should, she would honor her husband so much as to show her respect, at least, to his father.
Reg.You had a right to expect a warmer acknowledgment of your welcome. But consider her fatigue. Time will command the respect and love due her husband’s father.
Mor.Love is a spontaneous outburst of the heart. It is not of gradual growth. It takes not time to discover true innate worth in a person. Love detects it at a glance, and time only confirms the first impression. My son, is she all that you desire?
Reg.Yes, father, all.
Mor.And are you sure that she loves you?
Reg.[Confused.] Yes, father—that is—I—
Mor.Why this confusion?
Reg.I think she does.
Mor.Think? Why, did she not tell you as much?
Reg.Father, we will not discuss this subject any further. Suffice it to say that she is my wife, and I have sworn to love and honor her till death do us part, and I will do my duty, sir!
Mor.So be it, my son! and may Providence, who watches over us all, grant you a happy life. Heaven bless you, my son! [Clock strikes.] The hour for retiring is at hand. You will call your wife to attend our usual family devotion in the library ere retiring for the night.
Reg.I attend your pleasure! [ExitD. L. 2 E.Morrisstrikes bell on table.]
EnterAnastasia, followed byCoriolanus, D. R. 3 E.CoriolanusR.,AnastasiaC.,MorrisL.
Anas.Shall I call Reginald’s wife?
Mor.Reginald has gone to do so.
Anas.Oh!
Mor.Please retire to the library; I will follow shortly. [ExitAnastasia, followed byCoriolanus, D. R. 3 E.]
EnterReginald, D. L. 2 E.Morriscrosses to R. C.
Reg.[L. C.] Father, Adrienne wishes to be excused; she is too tired!
Mor.My son, you know the laws of this house. All the members of the family must attend family prayer. This law has ever been kept inviolate by my ancestors, and it shall not be broken in this instance. You will inform your wife that I insist upon her attendance. [ExitReginaldD. L. 2 E.Morriswalks the floor.]
EnterAdriennequickly, D. L. 2 E., followed byReginald. She crosses to table, L. C.MorrisR. C.
Adri.Sir, in answer to your request, I asked to be excused; nevertheless, you insist upon a sacrifice of my own inclinations and desires. In this matter, I wish to inform you, I will suit my own pleasure. Good-night, sir! [Going.]
Mor.Madam, I respect your desires, and as the wife of my son, I honor you. But there are certain rules in this household from which there is no departure, and this is one. From time immemorial has this custom been a law at our fireside. As you are now a member of our family, I ask of you, [Adrienneturns away] nay, I beg of you, be not the first to violate this rule.
Adri.[Haughtily.] I refuse to comply!
Mor.[Sternly.] Then, madam, you compel me to assert my authority. As the master of this house, I insist upon your attendance at family prayer!
Adri.[Drawing herself erect.] Sir!
Reg.[At fire-place.] Father!
Mor.Nay! I command you!
Adri.[ToReginald.] Will you stand by and allow this indignity?
Reg.Adrienne—I—
Mor.[Crosses to D. R. 3 E.] Enough! I await your presence in the library. [ExitD. R. 3 E.Adriennesinks into chair on R. of table.Reginaldin a pleading attitude. Whistle scene.]
Scene 2:A Street in 1st Grooves.
EnterRalph,L. 1 E.
Ralph.Confound it, I cannot bear it any longer. This wandering around, nursing my wrath, is becoming unendurable. After having won her love, to be snatched fromme by that infernal Maitland—curse him!—and all through that she-devil, Hilda—curse them both! Oh! I could tear them to pieces!
EnterHenry, R. 1 E., in officer’s uniform with paper in hand.Ralphturns away.
Hen.[Aside.] Ralph Murdell! I never liked the looks of that man. [ToRalph.] Hello! Lost your tongue? [R. C.]
Ralph.[C.] No! but I lost something else!
Hen.Lost a love, perhaps?
Ralph.No! I’ve lost my temper!
Hen.[Aside.] Was spooney on Adrienne! [ToRalph.] Well, I’m glad you lost it!
Ralph.Glad I lost what?
Hen.Your temper.
Ralph.Oh! I didn’t understand.
Hen.Why, if youlostyour temper, you are well rid of it, and ought to be jolly. But you look as if you had it still. Ha! ha! ha!
Ralph.Confound your jokes; I’m in no humor for levity.
Hen.No, I guess not. But where have you kept yourself buried? I have not seen you since my sister’s Grand Ball. I suppose you know she’s married to Maitland?
Ralph.Yes! yes! I wish her much joy. What are you doing in that uniform?
Hen.Oh! I’ve enlisted in the army and was made a recruiting officer. There is going to be a hot time. The rebels have taken possession of all the prominent military stations in the South. And when Lincoln made a call for three hundred thousand volunteers, I could notresist the desire to do my duty and help preserve the Union. Besides, I was getting tired of the lazy, drone-like life of society.
Ralph.And are you seeking volunteers?
Hen.Yes; besides, I am looking up a lot of individuals whose names I have here.
Ralph.Volunteers?
Hen.No! The President has ordered a draft to be made for men, and I am on the look-out for some.
Ralph.Have you got me down in the draft?
Hen.No! You are one of the lucky ones!
Ralph.Indeed! But it would have pleased me if you had. Still, you can accept me as a volunteer.
Hen.[Aside.] H’m! his disappointment has made him desperate. [ToRalph.] You surprise me, Murdell—you have more patriotism than I gave you credit for.
Ralph.This sort of life is too tame for me. I long for excitement!
Hen.[Hands him paper and pencil.] You will please sign here!
Ralph.[Signs paper.] And when shall I report for duty?
Hen.To-morrow morning at ten o’clock, at headquarters.
Ralph.All right! I’ll go and make the necessary preparations. I shall be on hand. [ExitR. 1 E.]
Hen.[Crosses to L.] I’m glad Adrienne did not marry that chap, for I did think that she thought a great deal of him. But you can never tell anything about women. They never do what you think they will. However, I am more than pleased that things have turned out as they did. A better or truer man never lived than Reginald Maitland.
EnterSammyandAdolphusarm in arm, R. 1 E. They do not perceiveHenry.
Sam.I for one am getting discouraged. I’ve proposed to twenty-three women in two weeks and been rejected twenty-three times. [Henryexamines paper.]
Adol.And I’ve been rejected as many times as I’ve proposed. If I only had the courage I’d drown myself.
Sam.And if I only had the chance I’d enlist. But come, let us drown our troubles in a glass of soda water. [Going towards L. 1 E.]
Hen.Halt! [SammyandAdolphusclutch each other in terror.]
Sam.Adol.⎫⎬⎭Oh! Oh! [AdolphusandSammyC.HenryL.]
Hen.[ToSammy.] Your name!
Sam.Sammy Dewdrop!
Hen.Right! [ToAdolphus.] And yours?
Adol.Adolphus Softhead!
Hen.Right again! Gentlemen, I am happy to inform you that you have been drafted! [SammyandAdolphuscollapse, terror-stricken.]
Adol.Oh! I shall die!
Sam.[Trying to brace up, but shaking like a leaf.] Why don’t you take it bravely like me? [ToAdolphus.]
Adol.I can’t. I’ll never come back alive—I know I shan’t.
Sam.[Brightening up suddenly.] I have it. Happy thought. [ToHenry.] But they won’t take me—I am in the last stage of consumption. [Coughs.] And they don’t take consumptives.
Adol.[Eagerly.] And I have got—[BeckonsHenryto come nearer—he whispers in his ear.]
Hen.Very well, gentlemen. If that is so, you are exempt. [SammyandAdolphuselated, about to go.] Halt! Youwill first accompany me to headquarters, where you will be examined by the doctor; and then, if you are in the condition you say you are, you will be allowed to go. [SammyandAdolphusget weak in the knees.]
Sam.[ToAdolphus.] It’s no use, Dolphy, the jig’s up!
Adol.Why was I born?
Hen.About face! Forward, march. [Exeuntall L. 1 E. Whistle scene.]
Scene 3:Outside of the Maitland Cottage.
EnterHilda, L. 2 E.
Hil.Oh! what shall I do! my mistress is so unhappy. She is pining away day by day, and all for love for that worthless villain, Ralph. Oh, if I could only unburden my heart to her and tell her all! If she only knew how base he is she would not grieve so. Sometimes, when I see her silent despair, I feel tempted to tell her all. But I promised to keep silent until I heard from Mr. Dollerclutch. I fear he also has deserted me. Here comes my mistress! I will avoid her! I cannot witness her misery—my heart goes out to her. [ExitR. 2 E.]
EnterAdrienne, L. 2 E. She is very pale. Sits on bench R. C.
Adri.When will this torture end? Could I but recall the fatal words that doomed me to a loveless life! I can only blame my impulsive nature. I knew not what I did—I was mad—and I must suffer the bitter consequences. Oh, cruel, cruel fate! [Her head sinks on her arm, which is resting on back of bench.]
EnterMorrisfrom cottage on L.
Mor.[At L. C.] Madam!
Adri.[Starts and rises haughtily.] Your pleasure, sir!
Mor.There is a matter I wish to speak to you about.
Adri.Proceed, sir!
Mor.It is about my son. [Adriennebraces herself.] Until your advent into our family all was peace and sunshine; but now all is mystery and clouds. And you, madam, are the cause of this condition of affairs. [Adriennepresses her hand to her heart.] I speak in behalf of my son. Since his marriage to you I have noted a change in him. There is something weighing heavily on his mind.
Adri.And hashesent you to plead his cause?
Mor.No, madam! He has defended you in every particular; he has tried to hide the true state of affairs. His sense of honor is so high that he would not listen to a word against your action. His vow at the altar is sacred to him; he would suffer anything without a murmur, and he will ever defend his wife from the sneers of the world.
Adri.Will you enlighten me, sir, as to the nature of my offense?
Mor.You have destroyed the happiness of my son’s life. He cannot hide the disappointment of his honest heart from the searching gaze of a father.
Adri.Sir! It is best that we understand each other. I decline further to listen to your upbraidings. You have no right to question my actions. I forbid you ever to broach this subject again. The die is cast. I know my duty as a wife; and to my husband, and to him alone, will I hold myself accountable for my actions. [Exitmajestically L. 2 E.Morrislooks after her.]
EnterAnastasia, R. 2 E.
Anas.Brother Morris, I’ll not put up with it any longer. Things are getting to be in a pretty strait when a person ofmy standing must submit to such snubbing—yes, brother, I repeat,snubbing.
Mor.Don’t bother me! [Exitinto cottage.]
EnterDollerclutch, gate C.
Anas.[Looking afterMorris, angrily.] Well, I never! another snub!
Dol.[Down R.] Ahem!
Anas.[Turns suddenly.] There’s that sweet man again. [She affects shyness.]
Dol.I beg your pardon, madam! but allow me to express my pleasure in being so fortunate as to meet your lovely self under such auspicious circumstances.
Anas.You flatter me!
Dol.By no means, madam!—by no means. That is something I would not be guilty of. What I said came from the heart, madam—from the heart! Do you understand?
Anas.I think I do, sir! [Aside.] Perfectly captivating!
Dol.Allow me to conduct you to a seat, you are tired standing. [He leads her to bench R. C. They sit at each end of bench and gradually move up closer to each other during the subsequent dialogue. Comic business.]
Anas.[Aside.] I believe he is going to propose! If he does, I’ll accept him on the instant.
Dol.[Fidgeting.] Madam, I—I—really I have not the pleasure of your name.
Anas.Anastasia Maitland, sir!
Dol.Anastasia! What a beautiful name!
Anas.Thank you!
Dol.And so appropriate to your charming self. It will always remind me of an angel.
Anas.Did you ever see an angel?
Dol.Yes, many a one—but they were all painted!
Anas.Oh! But I really forgot what you said your name was!
Dol.George Washington Dollerclutch, at your service, madam! You may call me Father of my Country Dollerclutch for short.
Anas.Such a grand name! It is so poetical!
Dol.[Nudges up closer.] Ahem!
Anas.[Aside.] The declaration is coming! I will fall in his arms as soon as he makes it.
Dol.Madam—I—I—[Pulls out baby dress instead of handkerchief and wipes his face.]
Anas.My heart goes pitti-di-pat! [Sees baby dress.] Oh! [She turns away.]
Dol.[Notices it for the first time. Aside.] Confound it! I thought I had my handkerchief. [ToAnastasia.] I beg your pardon, madam! [Puts it away and gets his handkerchief.Anastasiasmiles sweetly and bows her head.] Ahem! as I was going to say—
EnterCoriolanus, L. 2 E.
Dol.You are—you are—[SeesCoriolanus.] The devil! [Starts up.Coriolanusholds himself proudly erect.AnastasiaExitswith dignity into cottage.]
Cor.[Aside.] A rival?
Dol.Playing the eavesdropper, eh! [Aside.] I’ll bounce the rascal! [Leaps upon him suddenly and runs him off R. 2 E.] I’ll teach you better manners. [Walks down stage.]
EnterHilda, R. 2 E.
Dol.Don’t come back or I’ll—[SeesHilda.] Oh!
Hil.[Comes forward quickly.] Oh, sir! You have come at last. What news have you—is it good or bad?
Dol.My dear child, I have both good and bad. I have searched the church register, but found no record of the marriage.
Hil.Alas! Then I have no hope. [Sobs.]
Dol.[Pulls out handkerchief.] Now don’t you cry—if you do I’ll throw up the case. [She continues to sob.] Didn’t I tell you my news was both good and bad?
Hil.[Looks up hopefully.] Yes! Yes!
Dol.But I found that about the time you were married a leaf was torn out—and I’ll stake my life that it was the record of your marriage.
Hil.But who could have done such a thing?
Dol.I strongly suspect that infernal villain of a husband of yours, to hide the evidence of your marriage to him!
Hil.Then I am lost! for he surely must have destroyed it. Oh, what shall I do—what shall I do!
Dol.Shut up! If you get me all excited, I’ll have nothing to do with it. I don’t believe he has destroyed it at all, but has it in his possession. I’m going to do a little detective work, and I warrant you that I’ll spare no money to gain my point. I said I’d see this thing through, and hang me if I don’t go my length in it.
Hil.Oh, thank you, sir!
Dol.Now listen to my plan. [Noise heard, L. 2 E.]
Hil.Some one approaches! Let us walk on a piece, where there is no danger of being overheard. [ExeuntHildaandDollerclutch, R. 2 E.]
EnterAnastasia, L. 2 E., with letter in hand.
Anas.[Looks around.] I have written a few lines to the dear man, just to encourage him a bit—he seemed so confused. I will leave it here on this bench. [Lays it on bench R. C.] He will surely come back and find it. George Washington Dollerclutch! Oh! he must be a brave man tohave such a grand name! [Noise heard, R. 2 E.] I hear footsteps! It must be he returning—I’ll retire for a few moments. [ExitL. 2 E.]
EnterCoriolanus, R. 2 E.
Cor.How dare he lay violent hands upon me—a gentleman of nobility! I cannot suffer such indignity to pass unnoticed. [Sees letter on bench.] What’s this! a letter?—and her handwriting, too! [Reads.] “To one I love”—hem! that’s me! [Opens it—reads.] “Thou adorable one with the brave sounding name,”—she likes my name! “Ever since our first meeting have you made the profoundest impression upon my heart.”—I knew it! “Maidenly modesty has prevented me from making an open expression of my affection. My heart expands within my bosom. If you love me wear a red necktie and smile upon me when next we meet. With all maidenly reserve, I am yours, A. M.” I will procure the necktie at once, and prepare to satisfy the longing of her heart with the knowledge that her love is returned. [ExitCoriolanus, L. 2 E.]
EnterHenry, gate C.
Hen.[With draft in hand.] I think I have secured all the persons in the draft but two, and they are Coriolanus Wellington and George Washington Dollerclutch. That Dollerclutch has led me quite a chase—been looking for him two days. Wherever I’ve looked for him I was informed he had just left. I believe the rascal is dodging me. But I guess I’m sure of the other chap—he’s a servant here with Adrienne’s father-in-law. I’ll go in and secure him. [Exitinto cottage.]
EnterDollerclutchandHilda, R. 2 E.
Dol.Now you leave everything in my hands and I’ll see that I bring you through your trouble all right. I’ve got allthe points on this paper. Now go into the house before we are discovered. I’ll soon bring the smiles back again.
Hil.Oh, thank you! Heaven bless you for befriending a helpless girl. [ExitHildainto cottage.]
EnterAnastasia, L. 2 E.Dollerclutchputs paper into pocket.
Anas.[Aside.] He has just read my letter. Ahem!
Dol.[Turns.] My dear madam! Pray be seated! [Leads her to bench R. C.] I regret extremely that our last interview was so abruptly terminated by the advent of that ignorant jackass—
EnterCoriolanus, L. 2 E., wearing a ridiculously large red necktie. He strikes dignified attitudes and tries to attractAnastasia’sattention to it. He tries to smile—but they are very sickly smiles.
Anas.[Stares atCoriolanus.] Oh!
Dol.[Aside.] There’s that confounded idiot again. Look at the grinning hyena.
Anas.Well, I never! The man must be crazy.
Dol.[Rising.] Madam! with your permission, I will crush the rascal. [Anastasianods assent.Dollerclutchbounces him—they struggle off L. 2 E. Sound of broken glass.Dollerclutchreturns, his clothes ruffled.] I guess I fixed him that time—I landed him in the hot-house.
Anas.[Admiringly.] I knew you were a brave man!
Dol.Well, I must say I am rather proud of my bravery. I was not named George Washington for nothing.
EnterHenryfrom cottage.
Hen.[Aside.] At last! [ToDollerclutch.] George Washington Dollerclutch, I beg to inform you that you are drafted. You will accompany me to headquarters.
Dol.[Terror-stricken.] Oh, Lord!
EnterCoriolanus, L. 2 E., face and hands cut—his clothes disordered.AnastasiaR.,DollerclutchR. C.,HenryC.,CoriolanusL. C.
Cor.What! I calmly submit to this outrage? Never! I’ll tear him to pieces.
Hen.[SeizingCoriolanus.] You are drafted to help preserve the Union. [Coriolanusis frightened. During the aboveAnastasiapantomimes toDollerclutchto follow her and escape.ExitAnastasiaR. 2 E.Dollerclutchabout to follow her.Henrysees him and points revolver at him.] Halt! [Dollerclutchturns and sees revolver and is frightened.] Advance three paces—halt! About face! [Coriolanustakes position on his right.] That will do. Now, gentlemen, before we go to headquarters, you will accompany me into the house until I get some lunch; then we will proceed on our journey. Left face! Forward march! [Exeuntall into cottage.]
EnterAdrienne, followed byReginald, L. 2 E.
Reg.Adrienne!
Adri.[R. C. Turns.] Your pleasure, Reginald!
Reg.[Quietly, but firmly.] Adrienne, I desire a few moments’ conversation. What I have to say is for your ears only!
Adri.Proceed, Reginald. I hear you!
Reg.Adrienne, the time has come when I must speak—I can no longer bear the cold, dignified reserve with which you treat me—your husband. There is a motive for all things—and there must be a motive that prompts your action. We are man and wife, and open candor and frankness should exist between us.
Adri.Have I not fulfilled my duty, sir? Have I not shown you the honor and respect that you have a right to demand from a wife?
Reg.You have honored and respected me, Adrienne, but I have a right to expect even more.
Adri.I do not understand!
Reg.I have a right to expect your love! [Adrienneretreats a step, her hand pressed to her heart.] Yes, Adrienne! Marriage is a holy act which ought to be based on the rock of love; else it becomes a sordid and disgraceful bargain, devoid of sacredness and heavenly sanction. [She recoils.] When I led you to the altar it was with the firm belief that our marriage would be a holy and sacred bond, founded upon the eternal principle of love. But your manner since has caused me to doubt the sincerity of your heart.
Adri.[Haughtily.] Did I, when I accepted your hand, say that I returned your love?
Reg.No! In my eyes you were an ideal woman, of the highest and noblest sentiment—devoid of worldly ambition and desire. That was sufficient. Could I then doubt the feeling which actuated your acceptance of my heart and hand? [Slight pause.] Adrienne! say that I am not disappointed in you—say that your sacred vow at the altar, “to love, honor and obey,” was not a hollow sham—speak, Adrienne, speak! [Pause.Reginaldturns away.]
Adri.[Recovering slowly.] I will be honest with you, sir! You have a right to know. Could I but recall those fatal words that bound me for life to one I can never love, I would willingly lay down my life. I refused you when you first offered yourself, because I loved another. When I witnessed his perfidy, a few moments later, in a fit of pique, I accepted you. When I recovered from the mad impulse that swayed my being, I awakened to the misery into which I had plunged myself, and I almost hated you for tempting me to this agonizing bondage.
Reg.[With intense feeling suppressed.] Madam, the die is cast! You bear my name—you are my wife—that cannot be recalled, for that is recorded above. You will ever receive at my hands the respect that is due my wife. I shall provide for and protect you as long as He, in His good mercy, does grant me life. You will always find this, my paternal home, yours to enjoy.
Adri.[Alarmed.] What would you do?
Reg.Madam, it must be evident to you that my hopes in life are blighted; that I would not weary your sight with the presence of one who would be a constant reproach to your misery and folly. I will leave you. Perhaps the day may come when your heart may change and turn toward the husband. If so, the words, “Reginald, I love you—come back,” will bring to your bosom the husband, who will always be true to his sacred vow at the altar. [Crosses to L.]
EnterHenry,DollerclutchandCoriolanus, followed byAnastasia,MorrisandHilda, from cottage.Henryback of bench, R.DollerclutchandAdolphus, R.MorrisandAnastasia, up C.Hildacrosses toAdrienne.Adrienneis overcome. She sinks on bench, R. C.
Reg.[ToHenry.] Henry, accept a new recruit, who is ready to fight for the preservation of the Union and protect the Stars and Stripes. [Takes roll and pencil and signs it.]
Adri.[Starting up, with outstretched hands.] Reginald, stay!
Hen.Too late! [Adriennefaints.Hildaattends her at bench, R. C.]
Tableau.Doller.Corio.Hen.Morris.Hil.Adri.Reg.Anas.
Tableau.
Doller.Corio.
Doller.
Corio.
Hen.Morris.
Hen.
Morris.
Hil.Adri.Reg.Anas.
Hil.Adri.
Reg.
Anas.
Curtain.
Scene 1:A Camp in the Army.
Discovered at rise of curtain:Henryin Captain’s uniform, andReginaldas a private, both seated on camp-stools, R. 2 E.Coriolanus, as private, sitting near the fire, R. C.Dollerclutch, as private, asleep in front of tent, L. 4 E.Adolphus, as private, doing sentinel duty, L. 1 E.
Hen.When did you hear from home last, Reginald?
Reg.A week ago.
Hen.And how is your little Alice?
Reg.When last I heard, she was well. Oh, Henry! she is the only joy in my life. The future of my child is the only thing that keeps me from despair. I live in hopes that I shall one day clasp my child to my bosom. Oh, the yearning of a father’s heart! And now that we are so near to her, I almost feel tempted to shirk my duty and satisfy the longing to see my beloved child.
Hen.We are only six miles away from your home, I believe you said?
Reg.Yes! day by day have we been drawing closer to it. And it is nearly four years since I left the scene, never to return to it again. [He turns away.]
Hen.Reginald, I sincerely sympathize with you in your trouble. [Takes him by the hand.] Adrienne has wronged you deeply. She——
Reg.[Checks him.] Henry, she is your sister, but do not forget that she is mywife. I cannot listen to her condemnation even from you.
Hen.Well, Reginald, I respect your wishes. But cheer up! I have faith to believe that all will be right again—that some day will see you reunited and happy.
Reg.[Shakes his head.] This will be my only happiness, Henry. [Shows picture of child.]
Hen.Is this the picture of my niece? Why, she doesn’t look a bit like Adrienne!
Reg.No! the resemblance is tomyfamily. I can now readily understand why my father wrote to me, soon after the child’s birth, asking the privilege of naming it. She bears a striking resemblance to my little sister.
Hen.Your sister! I never knew you had a sister!
Reg.No! because that is the skeleton in our family closet. Her name was Alice. When but three months old she was stolen from the cradle. All effort to recover the child proved fruitless. Her disappearance has since remained a mystery. Grief over our loss brought my mother to an early grave. My father sacrificed his all in the hope of recovering the child, but all his efforts proved unavailing. This happened eighteen years ago, and we know not whether she be living or not, but we mourn her as dead.
Hen.And had you no suspicion as to who stole the child?
Reg.None. My father did not think he had an enemy in the world.
Hen.Strange! very strange! The ways of Providence are mysterious, and we must bow with resignation to His Divine Will. One moment, Reginald. [ToAdolphus.] Adolphus!
Adol.[Salutes.] Captain, I await your orders.
Hen.Go to the officers’ tent and inquire whether the mail has arrived.
Adol.[Salutes.] All right, Captain! [ExitL. 1 E.]
Hen.[ToCoriolanus.] Coriolanus! [Coriolanusrises and salutes.] Take his post as sentinel! [Coriolanussalutes and takes his post. ToReginald.] It is remarkable what a change there is in Adolphus. When I drafted him I thought he would make a poor soldier, he was so cowardly; but he has turned out to be one of the bravest men in the regiment. A soldier’s life has made a man of him.
Reg.It has, indeed! I have often wanted to ask you what ever became of his chum, Sammy. I thought you had drafted him, also.
Hen.I did; but he had plenty of money, and furnished a substitute. I wish the mail would arrive. [Rises.] By the way, Reginald, did your last letter mention anything about any of the rest of your household?
Reg.[Rises.] For instance, Hilda? Ha! ha! ha! Oh, you sly rogue! Henry, I remember a conversation we had, when you asked me to show you a woman devoid of fashion’s frivolities—ha! ha! ha! Perhaps, nowyoucan show one—ha! ha! ha! What! Henry, the recluse, the woman-hater, in love with a woman? Wonderful! Ha! ha! ha!
Hen.Well, I’ll acknowledge the corn; but I didn’t know a sensible woman until I met Hilda Wallace, whose quiet and unassuming manners struck the chord of affinity in my nature.
Reg.[Takes him by the hand.] Well, well, I’m glad of the transformation, and I hope your future will not be marred by disappointment. [Dollerclutchsnores.]
EnterAdolphus, L. 1 E.
Hen.[ToAdolphus.] Well?
Adol.[Salutes.] The mail has not arrived, Captain! [ReginaldExitsinto tent, C.Dollerclutchsnores.]
Hen.Pshaw! just tickle that fellow with your boot! [Adolphusabout to do so.]
Dol.[Dreaming.] Oh, Anastasia! [Adolphus, L. C.Henry, C.Dollerclutchasleep, L.Coriolanus, down L.]
Hen.Listen! He’s dreaming!
Dol.Anastasia, beloved! oh, fly—fly to my arms!
Hen.Ha! ha! ha! I wonder whether she’s got wings? [Dollerclutchtalks again.] But, listen!
Dol.[Starting.] The rebs are coming—the rebs are coming! Where shall I hide myself? I’ll be killed if I stay here. [Sits upright.] Don’t shoot! [He fights imaginary rebels.] Don’t shoot—don’t! [Awakes.]
Hen.Look out! the rebs are coming! Ha! ha! ha!
Dol.[Getting on his feet. Aside.] Confound it all! I must have been dreaming.
Hen.Ha! ha! ha! We’ve found you out at last, old Dollerclutch. You are abraveman, George Washington. I thought I never did see you when we went into an engagement—now I can account for it.
Dol.[L. C.] Sir! I have always been where the fight was thickest.
Cor.[Aside.] After it was over.
Hen.Youmean George Washington was—but I mean George Washington Dollerclutch.
Dol.Sir! Do you mean to insinuate that my bravery is a matter of doubt? You wrong me, sir! You wrong me, I can assure you. My deeds of valor have saved the day many a time—many a time. Do you understand? But my modesty won’t allow me to speak of them. Even in my childhood was I noted for my bravery. I took Mrs. Winslow’s soothing syrup with the most unflinching courage. Nothing would delight me more than a hand-to-hand encounter with a whole regiment of rebels. I would glory in the chance, sir! I have smelt powder many times. [He shoots off his revolver, smells the smoke from the barrel, and struts the stage.Henrywhispers toAdolphusand points toDollerclutch.]
Adol.[Aside toHenry.] All right, captain; I understand! [He steals off cautiously, L. 2 E.Henrybeckons toCoriolanusto follow him, enjoining caution.Exeunt,R. 2 E. All this is done unperceived byDollerclutch.]
Dol.To take me for a coward—bah! Gentlemen, you don’t know! you—[Turns and finds them gone.] Hello! where the deuce did they go? [Looks around in the different tents.]
EnterAdolphus, L. 2 E., in a rebel suit, with gun and false whiskers. He is not noticed byDollerclutch.Adolphusbrings his gun to shoulder and points it atDollerclutch.
Adol.[L. C.] Halt, and surrender. [Dollerclutchat tent, R. 5 E. He turns suddenly in a fright—his knees knock together—he raises his hands and tries to speak.] Don’t move a muscle or I’ll bore you.
Dol.[C.] Don’t shoot! Oh, please don’t shoot. Please, Mr. Rebel, I have sixteen small children. Oh! consider what will become of them when I am taken from them! [Adolphusdrops his gun. Aside.] Ah! that melted him! [Adolphusraises gun again.] Oh! oh!
Adol.Remove your cap! [Dollerclutchcomplies with all.] Place it on the ground. Take off your coat. Place it with your cap! [Adolphustakes off his cap and throws it to him.] Put it on! [Takes off his coat and throws it toDollerclutch.] Put it on! [He gathers upDollerclutch’sclothes.] Now sit down. [Dollerclutchgoes forstool.] No, no, on the ground! Take hold of your toes! Now sit there till I come back. [ExitL. 2 E.]
Dol.[Looking around.] This is the toughest scrape I was ever in. The camp has been surprised by the rebels. They are all captured. Oh, Anastasia, I’m done for!
EnterHenry, R. 4 E., followed byCoriolanus.Adolphusre-enters, L. 2 E., in his regular uniform.
Hen.[CoriolanusR.,HenryR. C.,DollerclutchC.,AdolphusL. C. Pounces uponDollerclutch.] I’ve got the rebel, boys. Get some cords, quick! [Adolphusgets them, L. 3 E.]
Dol.[Struggling.] Hold on, Captain! Let me go; it’s me!
Corio.Let’s hang the rebel to a tree, Captain! He’s a spy!
Dol.I tell you, Captain, it’s me—don’t you hear me?
Adol.Let’s tie him to a stake and riddle him with bullets.
Corio.[Aside.] I’ll get even with him now for the indignity he heaped upon me four years ago.
Dol.[Struggling.] Oh!
Hen.I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We will give him a sound switching first. Then we’ll hang him for a spy.
Corio.[Eagerly.] Let me do the switching, Captain. [Gets switch, L. 3 E. Aside.] I’ll give it him hot!
Dol.Oh, Lord! I shall die! [Coriolanusreturns.]
Corio.Now, you rebel, [cuts him with switch] how does that feel?
Dol.You infernal rascal! I’ll—[Coriolanuscuts him again.] Oh!
Corio.Fits close, eh? [Cuts again.]
Dol.[Struggling.] Oh! oh! [Pleads.] Good Coriolanus, please—please don’t! [Coriolanuscuts again.] Oh! Don’t you know your old friend, Dollerclutch?
Corio.Dollerclutch? You? Oh, no! you’re not Dollerclutch. Dollerclutch is abraveman. Oh, no! you’re a black-hearted rebel. [Cuts him again.]
Dol.Oh! oh!
Hen.[ToCoriolanus.] Hold! Let me look at him! Ha! ha! ha! It is Dollerclutch, by all that’s wonderful! [ReleasesDollerclutch.] Ha! ha! ha! a good joke!
Dol.[Rises to his feet.] A joke, sir? Do you call that a joke? But, I’ll now give you an exhibition of my bravery, sir! [Pounces suddenly uponCoriolanus. They struggle off, L. 3 E. All laugh.]
Adol.I guess we’ve taken the conceit out of him, Captain!
Hen.Yes, I hope it will prove a wholesome lesson to him.
EnterRalph, L. 2 E., with letters, which he pulls from his pocket. A large wallet drops unnoticed by him from his pocket, near stool, L. 2 E.
Ralph.[C.] Good afternoon, Henry!
Hen.[Aside.] The mail at last! [ToRalph.] Good afternoon, Murdell! The mail?
Ralph.[R. C.] Yes! [Sorting letters.] Any news from the front?
Hen.Yes! Grant has flanked Lee and is pressing him hard.
Ralph.Good! He’ll worry him out soon. [Hands letter toHenry.]
Re-enterDollerclutch, L. 3 E.;Coriolanus, L. 2 E.
Hen.Thanks, Major! [Retires up stage and reads letter.]
Ralph.[Reads from envelope.] Adolphus Softhead!
Adol.[Comes forward.] Thank you, Major! [Salutes, and retires up stage reading.]
Ralph.[As before.] George Washington Dollerclutch.
Dol.[Comes down.] That’s me, Major! [He takes letter, salutes and sits on stool, near which pocket-book lies.]
EnterReginald, from tent.
Reg.[R. C., toRalph.] Anything for me, Major? [Salutes.]
Ralph.[Coldly.] Yes! [Hands him letter.]
Reg.Thank you, Major! [Salutes and retires up stage reading.]
Ralph.[Looking after him.] Curse him! How I hate him! The proud fool! Satisfied to remain a private! If he’d accepted promotion, as it was offered him from time to time, for his gallant bravery in the field, he would be my superior officer. As it is, he prefers to remain a private, because, as he says, his ambition does not aspire to receive the plaudits of his country. The commanding officers cannot find praise enough for his heroism in action. Curse him! [ToHenryon right.] Lowville, you will meet the officers in a half hour from now, for consultation.
Hen.All right, Major! [ExitRalph, L. 2 E.]
Reg.[Looking at letter.] And yet no word from Adrienne! [Exitinto tent, R. 5 E.]
Dol.[At stool, L. 2 E., reads.] “I long for the time when this cruel war is over, when I may receive my brave Dollerclutch to this maiden heart.” Oh! this cruel war, to keep such fond hearts apart! Hello! Here is something on the other side—[reads.] “Hilda tells me to write you that she has not forgotten you, and God bless you!” No, nor have I forgotten her! Poor girl! I’ve watched him and pumped him, but I can’t find out anything—he’s as close as an oyster with—[Sees wallet on ground.] Hello! What’s this? [Picks it up.] “R. M.” Why, it’s his! [Looks around.] H’m! I’ll investigate! [Opens it andpulls out papers. He unfolds one and jumps up excitedly.] Hurrah! Hilda’s marriage record, by the jumping jingo! [He looks around, places it in his pocket.] Good! [Unfolds another.] H’m—’tis part of a letter—[reads] “of old Maitland”—something torn off and then—“of old Maitland”—[reads further] “Revenge is sweet. I can fancy how he grieves for his lost Alice!” [Studies.] Maitland! The devil! That’s Reginald’s name; but he says old Maitland—he’s young; but he’s got a father. Of course he has, and he’s older than he. Certainly he is! How stupid I am! [Studies again.] H’m! [Pulls out baby dress from his bosom and examines initials.] A. M.! [Jumps up.] Eureka! by the jumping jingo! A.—Alice! M.—Maitland! That’s Hilda’s name, I’ll stake my life! Here comes the rascal back. [Dollerclutchputs letter in his pocket hastily—he leaves the wallet on the ground, where he found it—goes a little up stage and appears interested in his own letter.]
EnterRalph, L. 2 E., as if hunting for something.
Ralph.Confound it! I must have dropped it when I pulled those letters from my pocket! [Sees wallet on ground.] Ah! Here it is! safe! What a fortunate thing it did not fall into anybody’s hands! Good! I’m a lucky dog! [ExitL. 2 E.]
Dol.[Comes down and looks after him.] Yes! and I’m a luckier dog. I can go you one better, my chap. George Washington, you did that slick—you’re a trump! But how shall I get these papers to the poor girl? Confound it, I can’t send them to her for fear they’ll fall into his hands again. If I keep them he’ll soon discover his loss and institute a search. If I hide them until the war is over, I might get shot by an infernal rebel, and then how will the poor girl know about them? Now, thisisa dilemma![Studies.] I have it! It is only five or six miles to the place. I’ll take them myself. I’ll wait till dark, then I’ll slip away. I can be back in three hours! [Sudden thought.] What if my absence should be discovered? Then I’ll be in a pretty pickle! Court-martial—probably shot for a deserter. Ugh! [Sudden determination.] I’ll risk it; I promised to see this thing through, and, hang it, George Washington Dollerclutch will stand by his word. Besides, I’ll have a chance to see my charming Anastasia. That’ll nerve me in the undertaking. [Retires up stage andExitsinto tent, L. 4 E. During the last speech the stage is gradually darkened.Henrycomes forward, C.]
Hen.Dollerclutch! [Dollerclutchsticks his head out of tent.] You will serve as sentinel on the high rock for the night. Maitland, relieve Softhead. [They salute and go to their respective posts.Dollerclutchon high rock, L. 5 E.Reginald, L. 1 E.] This is going to be a dark night. I’ll turn in. [ExitHenry, L. 2 E. The rest retire to their tents.]
Dol.Now for my journey! [He comes down, gets a cloak from tent, L. 4 E., and steals away cautiously, R. 3 E.]
Reg.[L. C. In a study.] “Adrienne has taught little Alice to pray for you.” How strangely my father’s words move me! Perhaps—but no! no!—that will never be! Adrienne must be forever dead to my yearning heart. When I entered the army I thought I had buried the joy of life forever. But love for my child has sprung from the ashes of my forlorn hopes, to cheer my drooping heart, like the oasis to the weary traveler of the desert. Oh! the longing of a father’s heart! What would I not give to see her—speak to her. Oh! I feel as if I could not resist the temptation to go and have if but one look. Yes, yes—asoldier’s life is uncertain—it may be the only opportunity to cast my eyes upon my darling Alice!
EnterRalph, L. 2 E. He pauses.Reginaldat C.
Reg.I cannot resist the impulse. I must see my child! [Exithurriedly into tent, L. 5 E.Ralphwatches him cautiously.]
Re-enterReginaldfrom tent with cloak, andExithurriedly, R. 4 E.
Ralph.What does this mean? Maitland leaving his post? He acts strangely, too! I’ll follow him and see what he is up to. At last I have the opportunity to humble his pride in the sight of the commanding officers! [He followsReginald, R. 4 E.]
Quick Curtain.