Scene Third
The Same,then gradually theCocks.
The Guinea-hen[Stopping short, amazed.] Braekel? At my party? There’s some mistake.
The Braekel Cock[Bowing before her.] Madam—
The Guinea-hen[Breathless with emotion in the presence of this whiteCockbraided with black.] This unexpected pleasure—
The Magpie[Announcing.] Cock Ramelslohe—
The Guinea-henHeavens!
The Magpie[Finishing.]—of the Slate-blue Claw!
The Peacock[In theGuinea-hen’sear, while the startlingRamelslohebows.] He is one of the most recent leucotites!
The Guinea-hen[Blankly.] A leucotite—How interesting!
The Magpie[Announcing in a louder and louder, more and more impressive voice.] Cock Wyandotte of the Sable Spur! [Shiver of emotion among theHens.]
The Guinea-hen[Off her head with excitement.] Heavens and gracious powers—my son!
The Young Guinea-cock[Running to her.] Mamma!
The Guinea-henWyandotte! Cock Wyandotte!
The Peacock[With a fine carelessness.] Cock with strawberry coronet, product of Art Nouveau!
The Guinea-hen[To the newcomers who are surrounded by astonished murmurs.] Strawberry coronet!—Gentlemen—
The Young Guinea-cock[Who has gone to take a look outside.] Mamma!
The Guinea-hen—so kindly condescending to honour my poor house—
The Young Guinea-cockMamma, there are still others coming!
The MagpieHis lordship, the Cock—
The Guinea-henHeavens, what Cock?
The MagpieCock of Mesopotamia with the Double Comb!
The Guinea-henDouble! Oh! [Dashing to welcome the newcomer.] Charmed, charmed indeed!
The PeacockOut upon the obsolete! I wished to show you a few young gentlemen slightly superlative and veritably precious.
The Guinea-hen[Returning to thePeacock.] How shall I thank you, Peacock, dear friend? [To thePheasant-hen,patronizingly.] You will excuse me, I know, you charming little thing. You must understand, my dear, that his lordship the Cock of Mesopotamia has just arrived! [Running to theCock,who bows his two combs.] A proud day for us! Charmed, delighted, enchanted!
MagpieCock d’Orpington of the Feather-ringed Eye!
The Guinea-henFeather-ringed—Oh!
The BlackbirdThe plot thickens!
The Magpie[While theGuinea-henis flying toward theOrpington Cock.] Bearded Cock of Varna!
The Peacock[To theGuinea-hen.] A typical Slav!
The Guinea-hen[Leaving theOrpingtonfor theBearded Cock.] Oh, the Slav soul we have heard so much about! Charmed, beyond words, charmed!
The MagpieRose-footed Scotch Grey Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Leaving theBearded Cockfor theScotch Grey.] Oh, that rose foot! I do admire that rose foot! Think of introducing that rose foot at my tea! [With conviction.] What a social event!
The MagpieCock—
The Guinea-hen[Out of her senses.] No, I say, no! There can’t be any more!
The MagpieCock with Goblet-shaped comb!
The Guinea-hen[Who at every name rushes excitedly toward the newcomer.] Charmed, I am sure! Oh, what a novel notion! Goblet-shaped!
The MagpieBlue Cock of Andalusia!
The Guinea-henYour egg, I presume, was laid in the vibrating hollow of a guitar! Delighted and honored,—both!
The MagpieCock Langsham!
The PeacockA Tartar!
All the Hens[Smitten with amazement at sight of the black giant.] A Tartar!
The MagpieGold-penciled Hamburg Cock!
All the Hens[At sight of the gold-lacedCockin the cocked hat.] Gold-penciled Hamburg!
The Guinea-henMy kitchen-garden party will be famous! [To theHamburg Cock,whose breast is striped with black and yellow.] Oh, what a wonderful waistcoat! May I ask what it is made of?
The BlackbirdOf zebra!
The Guinea-henZebra, you don’t say so! It will be the pride of my life, of my whole—
The MagpieCock—
The Guinea-hen[Jumping.] No, I can’t believe it!
The Magpie—of Burma!
The Guinea-henBurma! [Increasing general agitation.]
The PeacockAn East Indian.
The Guinea-henOh, I can see his Hindu soul right in his eyes, the Hindu soul we hear so much about! [Running to the newcomer, in an adoring voice.] Charmed, charmed! The Hindu soul—oh!
The MagpiePadua Cocks—The Dutch Padua of Poland!
The Guinea-henDutch of Poland! This is really more than I ever aspired to!
[ThePadua Cocksenter, shaking their plumes.]
The MagpieThe Gold Cock! The Silver Cock!
The Guinea-hen[In ecstasies of admiration before the flowing plume of the latter.] With a waterfall on his head!
The BlackbirdAnd a suspension bridge!
The Guinea-hen[No longer conscious of what she is saying.] And a suspension bridge!
The Pheasant-hen[ToPatou.] Poor Guinea-hen, she will say anything after anybody!
The Magpie[Announcing in a louder and louder tone ever more extraordinaryCocks.] Bagdad Cock!
The Peacock[Dominating the tumult.] Consummately Arabian Nights.
The Guinea-henDid you hear? Consummately Arabian Nights!
All the HensTo be sure! Awfully Arabian Nights!
The PeacockKamaralzaman himself is hardly more so.
The MagpieBantam Cock with ruffles!
The Guinea-hen[Transported.] How eighteenth century this is! Look, oh, look! A dwarf! A dwarf! Dwarfs! Little cunning bits of dwarfs!
The Young Guinea-cock[Low.] Mamma, do control yourself!
The Guinea-hen[Screaming in the midst of theCocks.] No, no, I can’t and won’t! That is Kamaralzaman! I don’t really know which I prefer, which I —
The MagpieGuelder Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Rushing to the newcomer.] This is truly a treat! Another Belgian!
The MagpieSerpent-necked Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Rattled.] To you, dear Seacock, I owe this Perpentneck!
The MagpieDuck-sided Cock! Crow-billed Cock! Hawk-footed Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Who has fallen upon the new arrivals, bursts into shrill volubility before the last of them.] This surpasses all! An albino! Charmed, my dear sir, honoured, enchanted! Oh, on his head he wears a cheese!
A HenSo he does, a cheese!—A cream cheese, to be sure! A cream cheese!
All the HensA cream cheese!
The MagpieCrËve Coeur Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Rushing to meet him.] Oh, he has horns on his head!
The PeacockSatanic.
The MagpiePtarmigan Cock!
The PeacockAesthetic.
The Guinea-hen[Rushing up to him.] Oh, he wears on his head an Assyrian helmet!
The MagpieWhite Pile—
The Guinea-hen[Rushing up to him.] He wears on his head—[Stopping short at sight of his docked comb.] Nothing whatever. He wears nothing whatever on his head. How odd it looks!
The Cat[From his apple tree, to theBlackbird,indicating theWhite PileGame-cock.] There is the champion. The dust conceals a razor on his lean foot. [TheGame-cockdisappears among the throng of fancyCocks,who are surrounded by a swarm of cacklingHens.]
The MagpieNegro Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Gone quite mad among the multitude ofCocksnow filling the kitchen-garden with their extraordinary head-gear aigrettes, and plumes and helmets, double and triple combs.] Charmed, honoured, enchanted—enchanted, honoured, charmed!
PatouShe has taken leave of her wits!
The Guinea-hen[To the empty air.] Charmed, charmed, enchanted, en—
The MagpieCock with Supernumerary Toe!—Naked-necked Cock!
The Guinea-henNaked?
The MagpieNecked!
The Guinea-hen[To aHen.] My dear, now we shall see something worth while!
The MagpieJapanese Cocks—Cock Splendens!
The Guinea-hen[At sight of thisCockwhose tail is eight yards long.] Oh!—In a swallow tail!
The MagpieClump-backed—
The Blackbird[Perceiving that thisCockis absolutely flat at the back.] In a monkey-jacket!
The Magpie[Finishing.]—or Tailless Cock!
The Guinea-hen[Beside herself.] He has nothing whatever behind! This is the crowning moment of my career! [To the newcomer, effusively.] Charmed! No tail! This is—
The BlackbirdI like his cheek!
The Magpie[While more and more heterogeneousCocksappear.] Cock Walikikili, called Choki-kukullo! Pseudo-Chinese Cuculicolor!
The Guinea-henWhat a choice gathering!
The PeacockKaleidoscopically cosmopolitan.
The MagpieBlue Java! White Java!
The Blackbird[Losing all shame.] Won’t Java cup o’ coffee?
The Guinea-hen[Falling upon theJava Cocks.] Charmed, charmed!
The MagpieBrahma Cock! Cochin Cock!
The Peacock[Proudly.] The great vicious Cocks, representatives of the corrupt East, the putrescent Orient!
The Guinea-hen[Intoxicated.] Putrescent!
The PeacockUnwholesome, morbid grace!
The Guinea-hen[To theCochin Cock.] Charmed! Charmed!—Do notice his obscene eye!
The Magpie[Announcing wildly, infected with the general delirium.] Chili Cock, curled hindside fore! Antwerp Cock, curled inside out!
All the Hens[Fighting for the newcomers.] Oh, putrescent!—Oh, hindside fore!
The Guinea-henInside out!
The MagpieShankless Jumping-cock!
A Hen[Fainting with emotion.] I suppose he jumps with his stomach!
The Guinea-henAn India-rubber Cock!
The Pheasant-hen[ToPatou,who from his wheelbarrow is looking off into the distance.] And Chantecler?
PatouWill be here soon.
The Pheasant-henCan you see him?
PatouYes, off there, scratching up the earth. Now he is on his way.
The MagpieGhoondook Cock with Umbrella Topknot!
Cry of EnthusiasmOh!
The MagpieIberian Cock with Lint Side Whiskers!
Cry of EnthusiasmOh!
The MagpieCock Bans Backin or Fat Cheek of Thuringia!
Cry of EnthusiasmOh!
The MagpieYankee Cochin of Plymouth Rock!
[Sudden silence.Chanteclerhas appeared at the entrance, just behind theCocklast announced.]
Chantecler[To theMagpie.] Pray simply say, “The Cock!”