THE BRETON HOME.When the battle is o’er, and the sounds of fightHave closed with the closing day,How happy around the watch-fire’s lightTo chat the long hours away;To chat the long hours away, my boy,And talk of the days to come,Or a better still and a purer joy,To think of our far-off home.How many a cheek will then grow pale,That never felt a tear!And many a stalwart heart will quail,That never quailed in fear!And the breast that like some mighty rockAmidst the foaming seaBore high against the battle’s shockNow heaves like infancy.And those who knew each other notTheir hands together steal,Each thinks of some long hallowed spot,And all like brothers feel:Such holy thoughts to all are given;The lowliest has his part;The love of home, like love of heaven,Is woven in our heart.
There was a pause as he concluded, each sank in his own reflections. How long we should have thus remained, I know not; but we were speedily aroused from our reveries by the tramp of horses near us. We listened, and could plainly detect in their rude voices and coarse laughter the approach of a body of Guerillas. We looked from one to the other in silence and in fear. Nothing could be more unfortunate should we be discovered. Upon this point we were left little time to deliberate; for with a loud cheer, four Spanish horsemen galloped up to the spot, their carbines in the rest. The Frenchmen sprang to their feet, and seized their sabres, bent upon making a resolute resistance. As for me, my determination was at once taken. Remaining quietly seated upon the grass, I stirred not for a moment, but addressing him who appeared to be the chief of the Guerillas, said, in Spanish:—
“These are my prisoners; I am a British officer of dragoons, and my party is yonder.”
This evidently unexpected declaration seemed to surprise them, and they conferred for a few moments together. Meanwhile they were joined by two others, in one of whom we could recognize, by his costume, the real leader of the party.
“I am captain in the light dragoons,” said I, repeating my declaration.
“Morte de Dios!” replied he; “it is false; you are a spy!”
The word was repeated from lip to lip by his party, and I saw, in their lowering looks and darkened features, that the moment was a critical one for me.
“Down with your arms!” cried he, turning to the Frenchmen. “Surrender yourselves our prisoners; I’ll not bid ye twice!”
The Frenchmen turned upon me an inquiring look, as though to say that upon me now their hopes entirely reposed.
“Do as he bids you,” said I; while at the same moment I sprang to my legs, and gave a loud, shrill whistle, the last echo of which had not died away in the distance ere it was replied to.
The Tables Turned.
“Make no resistance now,” said I to the Frenchmen; “our safety depends on this.”
While this was passing two of the Spaniards had dismounted, and detaching a coil of rope which hung from their saddle-peak, were proceeding to tie the prisoners wrist to wrist; the others, with their carbines to the shoulder, covered us man by man, the chief of the party having singled out me as his peculiar prey.
“The fate of Mascarenhas might have taught you better,” said he, “than to play this game.” And then added with a grim smile, “But we’ll see if an Englishman will not make as good a carbonado as a Portuguese!”
This cruel speech made my blood run cold, for I knew well to what he alluded. I was at Lisbon at the time it happened, but the melancholy fate of Julian Mascarenhas, the Portuguese spy, had reached me there. He was burned to death at Torres Vedras!
The Spaniard’s triumph over my terror was short-lived, indeed, for scarcely had the words fallen from his lips, when a party of the Fourteenth, dashing through the river at a gallop, came riding up. The attitude of the Guerillas, as they sat with presented arms, was sufficient for my fellows who needed not the exhortation of him who rode foremost of the party:—
“Ride them down, boys! Tumble them over! Flatten their broad beavers, the infernal thieves!”
“Whoop!” shouted Mike, as he rode at the chief with the force of a catapult. Down went the Spaniard, horse and all; and before he could disentangle himself, Mike was upon him, his knee pressed upon his neck.
“Isn’t it enough for ye to pillage the whole country without robbing the king’s throops!” cried he, as he held him fast to the earth with one hand, while he presented a loaded pistol to his face.
By this time the scene around me was sufficiently ludicrous. Such of the Guerillas as had not been thrown by force from their saddles, had slid peaceably down, and depositing their arms upon the ground, dropped upon their knees in a semicircle around us, and amidst the hoarse laughter of the troopers, and the irrepressible merriment of the Frenchmen, rose up the muttered prayers of the miserable Spaniards, who believed that now their last hour was come.
“Madre de Dios, indeed!” cried Mike, imitating the tone of a repentant old sinner in a patched mantle; “it’s much the blessed Virgin thinks of the like o’ ye, thieves and rogues as ye are; it a’most puts me beyond my senses to see ye there crossing yourselves likeraleChristians.”
If I could not help indulging myself in this retributive cruelty towards the chief, and leaving him to the tender mercies of Mike, I ordered the others to rise and form in line before me. Affecting to occupy myself entirely with them, I withdrew the attention of all from the French officers, who remained quiet spectators of the scene around them.
“Point de façons, gentlemen,” said I, in a whisper. “Get to your horses and away! Now’s your time. Good-by!”
A warm grasp of the hand from each was the only reply, and I turned once more to my discomforted friends the Guerillas.
“There, Mike, let the poor devil rise. I confess appearances were strong against me just now.”
“Well, Captain, are you convinced by this time that I was not deceiving you?”
The Guerilla muttered some words of apology between his teeth, and while he shook the dust from his cloak, and arranged the broken feather of his hat, cast a look of scowling and indignant meaning upon Mike, whose rough treatment he had evidently not forgiven.
“Don’t be looking at me that way, you black thief! or I’ll—”
“Hold there!” said I; “no more of this. Come, gentlemen, we must be friends. If I mistake not, we’ve got something like refreshment at our bivouac. In any case you’ll partake of our watch-fire till morning.”
They gladly accepted our invitation, and ere half an hour elapsed Mike’s performance in the part of host had completely erased every unpleasant impression his first appearance gave rise to; and as for myself, when I did sleep at last, the confused mixture of Spanish and Irish airs which issued from the thicket beside me, proved that a most intimate alliance had grown up between the parties.
MIKE’S MISTAKE.
An hour before daybreak the Guerillas were in motion, and having taken a most ceremonious leave of us, they mounted their horses and set out upon their journey. I saw their gaunt figures wind down the valley, and watched them till they disappeared in the distance. “Yes, brigands though they be,” thought I, “there is something fine, something heroic in the spirit of their unrelenting vengeance.” The sleuth-hound never sought the lair of his victim with a more ravening appetite for blood than they track the retreating columns of the enemy. Hovering around the line of march, they sometimes swoop down in masses, and carry off a part of the baggage, or the wounded. The wearied soldier, overcome by heat and exhaustion, who drops behind his ranks, is their certain victim; the sentry on an advanced post is scarcely less so. Whole pickets are sometimes attacked and carried off to a man; and when traversing the lonely passes of some mountain gorge, or defiling through the dense shadows of a wooded glen, the stoutest heart has felt a fear, lest from behind the rock that frowned above him, or from the leafy thicket whose branches stirred without a breeze, the sharp ring of a Guerilla carbine might sound his death-knell.
It was thus in the retreat upon Corunna fell Colonel Lefebvre. Ever foremost in the attack upon our rear-guard, this gallant youth (he was scarce six-and-twenty), a colonel of his regiment, and decorated with the Legion of Honor, he led on every charge of his bold “sabreurs,” riding up to the very bayonets of our squares, waving his hat above his head, and seeming actually to court his death-wound; but so struck were our brave fellows with his gallant bearing, that they cheered him as he came on.
It was in one of these moments as, rising high in his stirrups, he bore down upon the unflinching ranks of the British infantry, the shrill whistle of a ball strewed the leaves upon the roadside, the exulting shout of a Guerilla followed it, and the same instant Lefebvre fell forward upon his horse’s mane, a deluge of blood bursting from his bosom. A broken cry escaped his lips,—a last effort to cheer on his men; his noble charger galloped forward between our squares, bearing to us our prisoner, the corpse of his rider.
“Captain O’Malley,” said a mounted dragoon to the advanced sentry at the bottom of the little hill upon which I was standing. “Despatches from headquarters, sir,” delivering into my hands a large sealed packet from the adjutant-general’s office. While he proceeded to search for another letter of which he was the bearer, I broke the seal and read as follows:—
ADJUTANT-GENERAL’S OFFICE.May 15.Sir,—On the receipt of this order you are directed, having previouslyresigned your command to the officer next in seniority, torepair to headquarters at Fueutes d’Onoro, there to report yourselfunder arrest.I have the honor to be your obedient servant,GEORGE HOPETON,Military Secretary.
“What the devil can this mean?” said I to myself, as I read the lines over again and again. “What have I done lately, or what have I left undone to involve me in this scrape? Ah!” thought I, “to be sure, it can be nothing else. Lord Wellingtondidrecognize me that unlucky morning, and has determined not to let me pass unpunished. How unfortunate. Scarcely twenty-four hours have elapsed since fortune seemed to smile upon me from every side, and now the very destiny I most dreaded stares me fully in the face.” A reprimand, or the sentence of a court-martial, I shrank from with a coward’s fear. It mattered comparatively little from what source arising, the injury to my pride as a man and my spirit as a soldier would be almost the same.
“This is the letter, sir,” said the orderly, presenting me with a packet, the address of which was in Power’s hand-writing. Eagerly tearing it open, I sought for something which might explain my unhappy position. It bore the same date as the official letter, and ran thus:—
My Dear Charley,—I joined yesterday, just in time to enjoy theheartiest laugh I have had since our meeting. If notoriety can gratifyyou, by Jove, you have it; for Charles O’Malley and his man MickeyFree are bywords in every mess from Villa Formosa to the rear-guard.As it’s only fair you should participate a little in the fun you’veoriginated, let me explain the cause. Your inimitable man Mike, towhom it appears you intrusted the report of killed and wounded forthe adjutant-general, having just at that moment accomplished aletter to his friends at home, substituted his correspondence for yourreturns, and doubtless, sent the list of the casualties as veryinteresting information to his sweetheart in Ireland. If such be thecase, I hope and trust she has taken the blunder in better part thanold Colbourn, who swears he’ll bring you to a court-martial, underHeaven knows what charges. In fact, his passion has known no boundssince the event; and a fit of jaundice has given his face a kind ofneutral tint between green and yellow, like nothing I know of exceptthe facings of the “dirty half-hundred.” [2]
2 [ For the information of my unmilitary readers, I may remark that this sobriquet was applied to the 50th Regiment.]
As Mr. Free’s letter may be as great a curiosity to you as it hasbeen to us, I enclose you a copy of it, which Hopeton obtained forme. It certainly places the estimable Mike in a strong light as adespatch-writer. The occasional interruption to the current of theletter, you will perceive, arises from Mike having used the pen of acomrade, writing being, doubtless, an accomplishment forgotten inthe haste of preparing Mr. Free for the world; and the amanuensishas, in more than one instance, committed to paper more than wasmeant by the author:—
Mrs. M’Gra,—Tear an’ ages, sure I need not be treating heway. Now, just say Mrs. Mary—ay, that’ll do—Mrs. Mary, it’s may besurprised you’ll be to be reading a letter from your humble servant,sitting on the top of the Alps,—arrah, may be it’s not the Alps; butsure she’ll never know,—fornent the whole French army, with Bonyhimself and all his jinnerals—God be between us and harm—ready tomurther every mother’s son of us, av they were able, Molly darlin’;but, with the blessing of Providence, and Lord Wellington and MisterCharles, we’ll bate them yet, as we bate them afore.My lips is wathering at the thought o’ the plunder. I oftenof Tim Riley, that was hanged for sheep-stealing; he’d be worth hisweight in gold here.Mr. Charles is now a captain—devil a less—and myself might besomethin’ that same, but ye see I was always of a bashful nand recommended the master in my place. “He’s mighty young, MisterCharles is,” says my Lord Wellington to me,—“He’s mighty young, Mr.Free.” “He is, my lord,” says I; “he’s young, as you obsarve, buthe’s as much divilment in him as many that might be his father.”“That’s somethin’, Mr. Free,” says my lord; “ye say he comes from agood stock?” “Theralesort, my lord,” says I; “an ould, ancientfamily, that’s spent every sixpence they had in treating theirneighbors. My father lived near him for years,”—you see, Molly, Isaid that to season the discourse. “We’ll make him a captain,” saysmy lord; “but, Mr. Free, could we do nothing for you?” “Nothing, atpresent, my lord. When my friends comes into power,” says I, “they’llthink of me. There’s many a little thing to give away in Ireland, andthey often find it mighty hard to find a man for lord-lieutenant; andif that same, or a tide-waiter’s place was vacant—” “Just tell me,”says my lord. “It’s what I’ll do,” says I. “And now, wishing youhappy dreams, I’ll take my lave.” Just so, Molly, it’s hand and glovewe are. A pleasant face, agreeable manners seasoned with naturalmodesty, and a good pair of legs, them’s the gifts to push a man’sway in the world. And even with the ladies—but sure I am forgetting,my master was proposed for, and your humble servant too, by twoilligant creatures in Lisbon; but it wouldn’t do, Molly, it’s highernor that we’ll be looking,—raleprincesses, the devil a less. TellKitty Hannigan I hope she’s well; she was a disarving youngin her situation in life. Shusey Dogherty, at the cross road—I don’t forget the name—was a good-looking slip too; give her myaffectionate salutations, as we say in the Portuguese. I hope I’ll beable to bear the inclementuous nature of your climate when I go back;but I can’t expect to stay long—for Lord Wellington can’t do withoutme. We play duets on the guitar together every evening. The master isshouting for a blanket, so no more at present from,Your very affectionate friend,MICKEY FREE.P. S.—I don’t write this myself, for the Spanish tongue pout o’ the habit of English. Tell Father Rush, if he’d study thePortuguese, I’d use my interest for him with the Bishop of Toledo.It’s a country he’d like—no regular stations, but promiscuous eatingand drinking, and as pretty girls as ever confessed their sins.
My poor Charley, I think I am looking at you. I think I cansee the struggle between indignation, and laughter, which every lineof this letter inflicts upon you. Get back as quickly as you can, andwe’ll try if Crawfurd won’t pull you through the business. In anycase, expect no sympathy; and if you feel disposed to be angry withall who laugh at you, you had better publish a challenge in the nextgeneral order. George Scott, of, the Greys, bids me say, that ifyou’re hard up for cash, he’ll give you a couple of hundred forMickey Free. I told him I thought you’d accept it, as your unclehas the breed of those fellows upon his estate, and might have noobjection to weed his stud. Hammersley’s gone back with the Dashwoods;but I don’t think you need fear anything in that quarter.At the same time, if you wish for success, make a bold push for thepeerage and half-a-dozen decorations, for Miss Lucy is most decidedlygone wild about military distinction. As for me, my affairs go onwell: I’ve had half-a-dozen quarrels with Inez, but we parted goodfriends, and my bad Portuguese has got me out of all difficulties withpapa, who pressed me tolerably close as to fortune. I shall wantyour assistance in this matter yet. If parchments will satisfy him, Ithink I could get up a qualification; but somehow the matter mustbe done, for I’m resolved to have his daughter.The orderly is starting, so no more till we meet.Yours ever, FRED POWER.
“Godwin,” said I, as I closed the letter, “I find myself in a scrape at headquarters; you are to take the command of the detachment, for I must set out at once.”
“Nothing serious, I hope. O’Malley?”
“Oh, no; nothing of consequence. A most absurd blunder of my rascally servant.”
“The Irish fellow yonder?”
“The same.”
“He seems to take it easily, however.”
“Oh, confound him! he does not know what trouble he has involved me in; not that he’ll care much when he does.”
“Why, he does not seem to be of a very desponding temperament. Listen to the fellow! I’ll be hanged, if he’s not singing!”
“I’m devilishly disposed to spoil his mirth. They tell me, however, he always keeps the troop in good humor; and see, the fellows are actually cleaning his horses for him, while he is sitting on the bank!”
“Faith, O’Malley, that fellow knows the world. Just hear him.”
Mr. Free was, as described, most leisurely reposing on a bank, a mug of something drinkable beside him, and a pipe of that curtailed proportion which an Irishman loves held daintily between his fingers. He appeared to be giving his directions to some soldiers of the troop, who were busily cleaning his horses and accoutrements for him.
Mr. Free Pipes While his Friends Pipe-clay.
“That’s it, Jim! Rub ‘em down along the hocks; he won’t kick; it’s only play. Scrub away, honey; that’s the devil’s own carbine to get clean.”
“Well, I say, Mr. Free, are you going to give us that ere song?”
“Yes. I’ll be danged if I burnish your sabre, if you don’t sing.”
“Tear an’ ages! ain’t I composing it? Av I was Tommy Moore, I couldn’t be quicker.”
“Well, come along, my hearty; let’s hear it.”
“Oh, murther!” said Mike, draining the pot to its last few drops, which he poured pathetically upon the grass before him; and then having emptied the ashes from his pipe, he heaved a deep sigh, as though to say life had no pleasures in store for him. A brief pause followed, after which, to the evident delight of his expectant audience, he began the following song, to the popular air of “Paddy O’Carroll”:—
BAD LUCK TO THIS MARCHING.Air,—Paddy O’Carroll.Bad luck to this marching,Pipe-claying, and starching,How neat one must be to be killed by the French,I’m sick of parading,Through wet and cowld wading,Or standing all night to be shot in a trench.To the tune of a fifeThey dispose of your life,You surrender your soul to some illigant lilt;Now, I like Garryowen,When I hear it at home,But it’s not half so sweet when you’re going to be kilt.Then, though up late and early,Our pay comes so rarely,The devil a farthing we’ve ever to spare;They say some disasterBefell the paymaster;On my conscience, I think that the money’s not there.And just think what a blunder,They won’t let us plunder,While the convents invite us to rob them, ‘tis clear;Though there isn’t a village,But cries, “Come and pillage,”Yet we leave all the mutton behind for Mounseer.Like a sailor that’s nigh land,I long for that islandWhere even the kisses we steal if we please;Where it is no disgraceIf you don’t wash your face,And you’ve nothing to do but to stand at your ease.With no sergeant t’abuse us,We fight to amuse us;Sure, it’s better bate Christians than kick a baboon.How I’d dance like a fairyTo see ould Dunleary,And think twice ere I’d leave it to be a dragoon!
“There’s a sweet little bit for you,” said Mike, as he concluded; “thrown off as aisy as a game at football.”
“I say, Mr. Free, the captain’s looking for you; he’s just received despatches from the camp, and wants his horses.”
“In that case, gentlemen, I must take my leave of you; with the more regret, too, that I was thinking of treating you to a supper this evening. You needn’t be laughing; it’s in earnest I am. Coming, sir, coming!” shouted he, in a louder tone, answering some imaginary call, as an excuse for his exit.
When he appeared before me, an air of most business-like alacrity had succeeded to his late appearance, and having taken my orders to get the horses in readiness, he left me at once, and in less than half an hour we were upon the road.
MONSOON IN TROUBLE.
As I rode along towards Fuentes d’Onoro, I could not help feeling provoked at the absurd circumstances in which I was involved. To be made the subject of laughter for a whole army was by no means a pleasant consideration; but what I felt far worse was the possibility that the mention of my name in connection with a reprimand might reach the ears of those who knew nothing of the cause.
Mr. Free himself seemed little under the influence of similar feelings; for when, after a silence of a couple of hours, I turned suddenly towards him with a half-angry look, and remarked, “You see, sir, what your confounded blundering has done,” his cool reply was,—
“Ah, then! won’t Mrs. M’Gra be frightened out of her life when she reads all about the killed and wounded in your honor’s report? I wonder if they ever had the manners to send my own letter afterwards, when they found out their mistake!”
“Theirmistake, do you say? ratheryours!You appear to have a happy knack of shifting blame from your own shoulders. And do you fancy that they’ve nothing else to do than to trouble their heads about your absurd letters?”
“Faith, it’s easily seen you never saw my letter, or you wouldn’t be saying that. And sure, it’s not much trouble it would give Colonel Fitzroy or any o’ the staff that write a good hand just to put in a line to Mrs. M’Gra, to prevent her feeling alarmed about that murthering paper. Well, well; it’s God’s blessing! I don’t think there’s anybody of the name of Mickey Free high up in the army but myself; so that the family won’t be going into mourning for me on a false alarm.”
I had not patience to participate in this view of the case; so that I continued my journey without speaking. We had jogged along for some time after dark, when the distant twinkle of the-watch-fires announced our approach to the camp. A detachment of the Fourteenth formed the advanced post, and from the officer in command I learned that Power was quartered at a small mill about half a mile distant; thither I accordingly turned my steps, but finding that the path which led abruptly down to it was broken and cut up in many places, I sent Mike back with the horses, and continued my way alone on foot.
The night was deliciously calm; and as I approached the little rustic mill, I could not help feeling struck with Power’s taste in a billet.
A little vine-clad cottage, built close against a rock, nearly concealed by the dense foliage around it, stood beside a clear rivulet whose eddying current supplied water to the mill, and rose in a dew-like spray which sparkled like gems in the pale moonlight. All was still within, but as I came nearer I thought I could detect the chords of a guitar. “Can it be,” thought I, “that Master Fred has given himself up to minstrelsy; or is it some little dress rehearsal for a serenade? But no,” thought I, “that certainly is not Power’s voice.” I crept stealthily down the little path, and approached the window; the lattice lay open, and as the curtain waved to and fro with the night air, I could see plainly all who were in the room.
Close beside the window sat a large, dark-featured Spaniard, his hands crossed upon his bosom and his head inclined heavily forward, the attitude perfectly denoting deep sleep, even had not his cigar, which remained passively between his lips, ceased to give forth its blue smoke wreath. At a little distance from him sat a young girl, who, even by the uncertain light, I could perceive was possessed of all that delicacy of form and gracefulness of carriage which characterize her nation.
Her pale features—paler still from the contrast with her jet black hair and dark costume—were lit up with an expression of animation and enthusiasm as her fingers swept rapidly and boldly across the strings of a guitar.
“And you’re not tired of it yet?” said she, bending her head downwards towards one whom I now for the first time perceived.
Reclining carelessly at her feet, his arm leaning upon her chair, while his hand occasionally touched her taper fingers, lay my good friend, Master Fred Power. An undress jacket, thrown loosely open, and a black neck-cloth, negligently knotted, bespoke the easynonchalancewith which he prosecuted his courtship.
“Do sing it again?” said he, pressing her fingers to his lips.
What she replied, I could not catch; but Fred resumed: “No, no; he never wakes. The infernal clatter of that mill is his lullaby.”
“But your friend will be here soon,” said she. “Is it not so?”
“Oh, poor Charley! I’d almost forgotten him. By-the-bye, you mustn’t fall in love with him. There now, do not look angry; I only meant that, as I knew he’d be desperately smitten, you shouldn’t let him fancy he got any encouragement.”
“What would you have me do?” said she, artlessly.
“I have been thinking over that, too. In the first place, you’d better never let him hear you sing; scarcely ever smile; and as far as possible, keep out of his sight.”
“One would think, Senhor, that all these precautions were to be taken more on my account than on his. Is he so very dangerous, then?”
“Not a bit of it! Good-looking enough he is, but, only a boy; at the same time, a devilish bold one! And he’d think no more of springing through that window and throwing his arms round your neck, the very first moment of his arrival, than I should of whispering how much I love you.”
“How very odd he must be! I’m sure I should like him.”
“Many thanks to both for your kind hints; and now to take advantage of them.” So saying, I stepped lightly upon the window-sill, cleared the miller with one spring, and before Power could recover his legs or Margeritta her astonishment, I clasped her in my arms, and kissed her on either cheek.
“Charley! Charley! Damn it, man, it won’t do!” cried Fred; while the young lady, evidently more amused at his discomfiture than affronted at the liberty, threw herself into a seat, and laughed immoderately.
“Ha! Hilloa there! What is’t?” shouted the miller, rousing himself from his nap, and looking eagerly round. “Are they coming? Are the French coming?”
A hearty renewal of his daughter’s laughter was the only reply; while Power relieved his anxiety by saying,—
“No, no, Pedrillo, not the French; a mere marauding party,—nothing more. I say, Charley,” continued he, in a lower tone, “you had better lose no time in reporting yourself at headquarters. We’ll walk up together. Devilish awkward scrape, yours.”
“Never fear, Fred; time enough for all that. For the present, if you permit me, I’ll follow up my acquaintance with our fair friend here.”
“Gently, gently!” said he, with a look of most imposing seriousness. “Don’t mistake her; she’s not a mere country girl: you understand?—been bred in a convent here,—rather superior kind of thing.”
“Come, come, Fred, I’m not the man to interfere with you for a moment.”
“Good-night, Senhor,” said the old miller, who had been waiting patiently all this time to pay his respects before going.
“Yes, that’s it!” cried Power, eagerly. “Good-night, Pedrillo.”
“Buonos noches,” lisped out Margeritta, with a slight curtsy.
I sprang forward to acknowledge her salutation, when Power coolly interposed between us, and closing the door after them, placed his back against it.
“Master Charley, I must read you a lesson—”
“You inveterate hypocrite, don’t attempt this nonsense withme. But come, tell me how long you have been here?”
“Just twenty-four of the shortest hours I ever passed at an outpost. But listen,—do you know that voice? Isn’t it O’Shaughnessy?”
“To be sure it is. Hear the fellow’s song.”
“My father cared little for shot or shell,He laughed at death and dangers;And he’d storm the very gates of hellWith a company of the ‘Rangers.’So sing tow, row, row, row, row,” etc.
“Ah, then, Mister Power, it’s twice I’d think of returning your visit, if I knew the state of your avenue. If there’s a grand jury in Spain, they might give you a presentment for this bit of road. My knees are as bare as a commissary’s conscience, and I’ve knocked as much flesh off my shin-bones as would make a cornet in the hussars!”
A regular roar of laughter from both of us apprized Dennis of our vicinity.
“And it’s laughing ye are? Wouldn’t it be as polite just to hold a candle or lantern for me in this confounded watercourse?”
“How goes it, Major?” cried I, extending my hand to him through the window.
“Charley—Charley O’Malley, my son! I’m glad to see you. It’s a hearty laugh you gave us this morning. My friend Mickey’s a pleasant fellow for a secretary-at-war. But it’s all settled now; Crawfurd arranged it for you this afternoon.”
“You don’t say so! Pray tell me all about it.”
“That’s just what I won’t; for ye see I don’t know it; but I believe old Monsoon’s affair has put everything out of their heads.”
“Monsoon’s affair! What is that? Out with it, Dennis.”
“Faith, I’ll be just as discreet about that as your own business. All I can tell you is, that they brought him up to headquarters this evening with a sergeant’s guard, and they say he’s to be tried by court-martial; and Picton is in a blessed humor about it.”
“What could it possibly have been? Some plundering affair, depend on it.”
“Faith, you may swear it wasn’t for his little charities, as Dr. Pangloss calls them, they’ve pulled him up,” cried Power.
“Maurice is in high feather about it,” said Dennis. “There are five of them up at Fuentes, making a list of the charges to send to Monsoon; for Bob Mahon, it seems, heard of the old fellow’s doings up the mountains.”
“What glorious fun!” said Tower. “Let’s haste and join them, boys.”
“Agreed,” said I. “Is it far from this?”
“Another stage. When we’ve got something to eat,” said the major, “if Power has any intentions that way—”
“Well, I really did begin to fear Fred’s memory was lapsing; but somehow, poor fellow, smiles have been more in his way than sandwiches lately.”
An admonishing look from Power was his only reply, as he walked towards the door. Bent upon teasing him, however, I continued,—
“My only fear is, he may do something silly.”
“Who? Monsoon, is it?”
“No, no. Not Monsoon; another friend of ours.”
“Faith, I scarcely thought your fears of old Monsoon were called for. He’s a fox—the devil a less.”
“No, no, Dennis. I wasn’t thinking of him. My anxieties were for a most soft-hearted young gentleman,—one Fred Power.”
“Charley, Charley!” said Fred, from the door, where he had been giving directions to his servant about supper. “A man can scarce do a more silly thing than marry in the army; all the disagreeables of married life, with none of its better features.”
“Marry—marry!” shouted O’Shaughnessy, “upon my conscience, it’s incomprehensible to me how a man can be guilty of it. To be sure, I don’t mean to say that there are not circumstances,—such as half-pay, old age, infirmity, the loss of your limbs, and the like; but that, with good health and a small balance at your banker’s, you should be led into such an embarrassment—”
“Men will flirt,” said I, interrupting; “men will press taper fingers, look into bright eyes, and feel their witchery; and although the fair owners be only quizzing them half the time, and amusing themselves the other, and though they be the veriest hackneyed coquettes—”
“Did you ever meet the Dalrymple girls, Dennis?” said Fred, with a look I shall never forget.
What the reply was I cannot tell. My shame and confusion were overwhelming, and Power’s victory complete.
“Here comes the prog,” cried Dennis, as Power’s servant entered with a very plausible-looking tray, while Fred proceeded to place before us a strong army of decanters.
Our supper was excellent, and we were enjoying ourselves to the utmost, when an orderly sergeant suddenly opened the door, and raising his hand to his cap, asked if Major Power was there.
“A letter for you, sir.”
“Monsoon’s writing, by Jove! Come, boys, let us see what it means. What a hand the old fellow writes! The letters look all crazy, and are tumbling against each other on every side. Did you ever see anything half so tipsy as the crossing of thatt?”
“Read it. Read it out, Fred!”
Tuesday Evening.Dear Power,—I’m in such a scrape! Come up and see me atonce, bring a little sherry with you, and we’ll talk over what’s to bedone.Yours ever,B. MONSOON.Quarter-General.
We resolved to finish our evening with the major; so that, each having armed himself with a bottle or two, and the remnants of our supper, we set out towards his quarters, under the guidance of the orderly. After a sharp walk of half an hour, we reached a small hut, where two sentries of the Eighty-eighth were posted at the door.
O’Shaughnessy procured admittance for us, and in we went. At a small table, lighted by a thin tallow candle, sat old Monsoon, who, the weather being hot, had neither coat nor wig on; an old cracked china tea-pot, in which as we found afterwards he had mixed a little grog, stood before him, and a large mass of papers lay scattered around on every side,—he himself being occupied in poring over their contents, and taking occasional draughts from his uncouth goblet.
As we entered noiselessly, he never perceived us, but continued to mumble over, in a low tone, from the documents before him:—
“Upon my life, it’s like a dream to me! What infernal stuff this brandy is!”
CHARGE No. 8.—For conduct highly unbecoming an officer anda gentleman, in forcing the cellar of the San Nicholas convent atBanos, taking large quantities of wine therefrom, and subsequentlycompelling the prior to dance a bolero, thus creating a riot, andtending to destroy the harmony between the British and the Portuguese,so strongly inculcated to be preserved by the general orders.
“Destroy the harmony! Bless their hearts! How little they know of it! I’ve never passed a jollier night in the Peninsula! The prior’s a trump, and as for the bolero, hewoulddance it. I hope they say nothing about my hornpipe.”
CHARGE No. 9.—For a gross violation of his duty as an officer, insending a part of his brigade to attack and pillage the alcalde ofBanos; thereby endangering the public peace of the town, being aflagrant breach of discipline and direct violation of the articles ofwar.
“Well, I’m afraid I was rather sharp on the alcalde, but we did him no harm except the fright. What sherry the fellow had! ‘t would have been a sin to let it fall into the hands of the French.”
CHARGE No. 10.—For threatening, on or about the night of the3d, to place the town of Banos under contribution, and subsequentlyforcing the authorities to walk in procession before him, in absurdand ridiculous costumes.
“Lord, how good it was! I shall never forget the old alcalde! One of my fellows fastened a dead lamb round his neck, and told him it was the golden fleece. The commander-in-chief would have laughed himself if he had been there. Picton’s much too grave,—never likes a joke.”
CHARGE No. 11.—For insubordination and disobedience, in refusingto give up his sword, and rendering it necessary for the Portugueseguard to take it by force,—thereby placing himself in asituation highly degrading to a British officer.
“Didn’t I lay about me before they got it! Who’s that? Who’s laughing there? Ah, boys, I’m glad to see you! How are you, Fred? Well, Charley, I’ve heard of your scrape; very sad thing for so young a fellow as you are. I don’t think you’ll be broke; I’ll do what I can. I’ll see what I can do with Picton; we are very old friends, were at Eton together.”
“Many thanks, Major; but I hear your own affairs are not flourishing. What’s all this court-martial about?”
“A mere trifle; some little insubordination in the legion. Those Portuguese are sad dogs. How very good of you, Fred, to think of that little supper.”
While the major was speaking, his servant, with a dexterity the fruit of long habit, had garnished the table with the contents of our baskets, and Monsoon, apologizing for not putting on his wig, sat down among us with a face as cheerful as though the floor was not covered with the charges of the court-martial to be held on him.
As we chatted away over the campaign and its chances, Monsoon seemed little disposed to recur to his own fortunes. In fact, he appeared to suffer much more from what he termed my unlucky predicament than from his own mishaps. At the same time, as the evening wore on, and the sherry began to tell upon him, his heart expanded into its habitual moral tendency, and by an easy transition, he was led from the religious association of convents to the pleasures of pillaging them.
“What wine they have in their old cellars! It’s such fun drinking it out of great silver vessels as old as Methuselah. ‘There’s much treasure in the house of the righteous,’ as David says; and any one who has ever sacked a nunnery knows that.”
“I should like to have seen that prior dancing the bolero,” said Power.
“Wasn’t it good, though! He grew jealous of me, for I performed a hornpipe. Very good fellow the prior; not like the alcalde,—there was no fun in him. Lord bless him! he’ll never forget me.”
“What did you do with him, Major?”
“Well, I’ll tell you; but you mustn’t let it be known, for I see they have not put it in the court-martial. Is there no more sherry there? There, that will do; I’m always contented. ‘Better a dry morsel with quietness,’ as Moses says. Ay, Charley, never forget that ‘a merry heart is just like medicine.’ Job found out that, you know.”
“Well, but the alcalde, Major.”
“Oh! the alcalde, to be sure. These pious meditations make me forget earthly matters.”
“This old alcalde at Banos, I found out, was quite spoiled by Lord Wellington. He used to read all the general orders, and got an absurd notion in his head that because we were his allies, we were not allowed to plunder. Only think, he used to snap his fingers at Beresford, didn’t care twopence about the legion, and laughed outright at Wilson. So, when I was ordered down there, I took another way with him. I waited till night-fall, ordered two squadrons to turn their jackets, and sent forward one of my aides-de-camp, with a few troopers, to the alcalde’s house. They galloped into the courtyard, blowing trumpets and making an infernal hubbub. Down came the alcalde in a passion. ‘Prepare quarters quickly, and rations for eight hundred men.’
“‘Who dares to issue such an order?’ said he.
“The aide-de-camp whispered one word in his ear, and the old fellow grew pale as death. ‘Is he here; is he coming,—is he coming?’ said he, trembling from head to foot.
“I rode in myself at this moment looking thus,—
“‘Où est le malheureux?’ said I, in French,—you know I speak French like Portuguese.”
“Devilish like, I’ve no doubt,” muttered Power.
“‘Pardon, gracias eccellenza!’ said the alcalde, on his knees.”
“Who the deuce did he take you for, Major?”
“You shall hear; you’ll never guess, though. Lord, I shall never forget it! He thought I was Marmont; my aide-de-camp told him so.”
One loud burst of laughter interrupted the major at this moment, and it was some considerable time before he could continue his narrative.
“And do you really mean,” said I, “that you personated the Duke de Raguse?”
“Did I not, though? If you had only seen me with a pair of great mustaches, and a drawn sabre in my hand, pacing the room up and down in presence of the assembled authorities. Napoleon himself might have been deceived. My first order was to cut off all their heads; but I commuted the sentence to a heavy fine. Ah, boys, if they only understood at headquarters how to carry on a war in the Peninsula, they’d never have to grumble in England about increased taxation! How I’d mulet the nunneries! How I’d grind the corporate towns! How I’d inundate the country with exchequer bills! I’d sell the priors at so much a head, and put the nuns up to auction by the dozen.”
“You sacrilegious old villain! But continue the account of your exploits.”
“Faith, I remember little more. After dinner I grew somewhat mellow, and a kind of moral bewilderment, which usually steals over me about eleven o’clock, induced me to invite the alcalde and all the aldermen to come and sup. Apparently, we had a merry night of it, and when morning broke, we were not quite clear in our intellects. Hence came that infernal procession; for when the alcalde rode round the town with a paper cap, and all the aldermen after him, the inhabitants felt offended, it seems, and sent for a large Guerilla force, who captured me and my staff, after a very vigorous resistance. The alcalde fought like a trump for us, for I promised to make him Prefect of the Seine; but we were overpowered, disarmed, and carried off. The remainder you can read in the court-martial, for you may think that after sacking the town, drinking all night, and fighting in the morning, my memory was none of the clearest.”
“Did you not explain that you were not the marshal-general?”
“No, faith, I know better than that; they’d have murdered me had they known their mistake. They brought me to headquarters in the hope of a great reward, and it was only when they reached this that they found out I was not the Duke de Raguse; so you see, boys, it’s a very complicated business.”
“‘Gad, and so it is,” said Power, “and an awkward one, too.”
“He’ll be hanged, as sure as my name’s Dennis!” vociferated O’Shaughnessy, with an energy that made the major jump from his chair. “Picton will hang him!”
“I’m not afraid,” said Monsoon; “they know me so well. Lord bless you, Beresford couldn’t get on without me!”
“Well, Major,” said I, “in any case, you certainly take no gloomy nor desponding view of your case.”
“Not I, boy. You know what Jeremiah says: ‘a merry heart is a continual feast;’ and so it is. I may die of repletion, but they’ll never find me starved with sorrow.”
“And, faith, it’s a strange thing!” muttered O’Shaughnessy, thinking aloud; “a most extraordinary thing! An honest fellow would be sure to be hanged; and there’s that old rogue, that’s been melting down more saints and blessed Virgins than the whole army together, he’ll escape. Ye’ll see he will!”
“There goes the patrol,” said Fred; “we must start.”
“Leave the sherry, boys; you’ll be back again. I’ll have it put up carefully.”
We could scarcely resist a roar of laughter as we said, “Good-night.”
“Adieu, Major,” said I; “we shall meet soon.”
So saying, I followed Power and O’Shaughnessy towards their quarters.
“Maurice has done it beautifully!” said Power. “Pleasant revelations the old fellow will make on the court-martial, if he only remembers what we’ve heard to-night! But here we are, Charley; so good-night, and remember, you breakfast with me to-morrow.”