VCICERO ATTICO SAL.

[Pg 362]VCICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi pr. Non. Nov. a. 706Quae me causae moverint, quam acerbae, quam graves, quam novae, coegerintque impetu magis quodam animi uti quam cogitatione, non possum ad te sine maximo dolore scribere. Fuerunt quidem tantae, ut id, quod vides, effecerint. Itaque, nec quid ad te scribam de meis rebus nec quid a te petam reperio; rem et summam negotii vides.Equidem ex tuis litteris intellexi, et eis, quas com muniter cum aliis scripsisti, et eis quas tuo nomine quod etiam mea sponte videbam, te subita re quas debilitatum novas rationes tuendi mei quaerere. Quod scribis placere, ut propius accedam iterque per oppida noctu faciam, non sane video, quern ad modum id fieri possit. Neque enim ita apta habeo devorsoria, ut tota tempora diurna in iis possim consumere, neque ad id, quod quaeris, multum interest utrum me homines in oppido videant an in via. Sed tamen hoc ipsum sicut alia considerabo, quem ad modum commodissime fieri posse videatur.Ego propter incredibilem et animi et corporis molestiam conficere plures litteras non potui; eis tantum rescripsi, a quibus acceperam. Tu velim et Basilo et quibus praeterea videbitur, etiam Servilio conscribas, ut tibi videbitur, meo nomine. Quod tanto intervallo nihil omnino ad vos scripsi, his litteris profecto[Pg 363]VCICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, Nov. 4,B.C.48What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see. Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the matter.For my part I have gathered from your lettersâ€”both that which you wrote in conjunction with others and the one you wrote in your own nameâ€”what I saw myself too, that you are somewhat disconcerted by my sudden move, and are looking for some new means of protecting me. I don't quite see how I can do as you suggest and come nearer to Rome, travelling through towns at night. For I have not suitable stopping-places to spend all the days in; nor, for the point you are aiming at, does it much matter whether I am seen in towns or on the road. However I will consider how this plan, as well as others, can most conveniently be carried out.I am so fearfully upset both in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters; I have only answered those who have written to me. I should like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you like, even to Servilius, and say whatever you think fit. From this letter you will quite understand that the reason why I have not written to you at all for such a long time, is that I

[Pg 362]

Scr. Brundisi pr. Non. Nov. a. 706

Quae me causae moverint, quam acerbae, quam graves, quam novae, coegerintque impetu magis quodam animi uti quam cogitatione, non possum ad te sine maximo dolore scribere. Fuerunt quidem tantae, ut id, quod vides, effecerint. Itaque, nec quid ad te scribam de meis rebus nec quid a te petam reperio; rem et summam negotii vides.

Equidem ex tuis litteris intellexi, et eis, quas com muniter cum aliis scripsisti, et eis quas tuo nomine quod etiam mea sponte videbam, te subita re quas debilitatum novas rationes tuendi mei quaerere. Quod scribis placere, ut propius accedam iterque per oppida noctu faciam, non sane video, quern ad modum id fieri possit. Neque enim ita apta habeo devorsoria, ut tota tempora diurna in iis possim consumere, neque ad id, quod quaeris, multum interest utrum me homines in oppido videant an in via. Sed tamen hoc ipsum sicut alia considerabo, quem ad modum commodissime fieri posse videatur.

Ego propter incredibilem et animi et corporis molestiam conficere plures litteras non potui; eis tantum rescripsi, a quibus acceperam. Tu velim et Basilo et quibus praeterea videbitur, etiam Servilio conscribas, ut tibi videbitur, meo nomine. Quod tanto intervallo nihil omnino ad vos scripsi, his litteris profecto

[Pg 363]VCICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, Nov. 4,B.C.48What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see. Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the matter.For my part I have gathered from your lettersâ€”both that which you wrote in conjunction with others and the one you wrote in your own nameâ€”what I saw myself too, that you are somewhat disconcerted by my sudden move, and are looking for some new means of protecting me. I don't quite see how I can do as you suggest and come nearer to Rome, travelling through towns at night. For I have not suitable stopping-places to spend all the days in; nor, for the point you are aiming at, does it much matter whether I am seen in towns or on the road. However I will consider how this plan, as well as others, can most conveniently be carried out.I am so fearfully upset both in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters; I have only answered those who have written to me. I should like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you like, even to Servilius, and say whatever you think fit. From this letter you will quite understand that the reason why I have not written to you at all for such a long time, is that I

[Pg 363]

Brundisium, Nov. 4,B.C.48

What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see. Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the matter.

For my part I have gathered from your lettersâ€”both that which you wrote in conjunction with others and the one you wrote in your own nameâ€”what I saw myself too, that you are somewhat disconcerted by my sudden move, and are looking for some new means of protecting me. I don't quite see how I can do as you suggest and come nearer to Rome, travelling through towns at night. For I have not suitable stopping-places to spend all the days in; nor, for the point you are aiming at, does it much matter whether I am seen in towns or on the road. However I will consider how this plan, as well as others, can most conveniently be carried out.

I am so fearfully upset both in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters; I have only answered those who have written to me. I should like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you like, even to Servilius, and say whatever you think fit. From this letter you will quite understand that the reason why I have not written to you at all for such a long time, is that I

[Pg 364]intellegis rem mihi desse, de qua scribam, non voluntatem.Quod de Vatinio quaeris, neque illius neque cuiusquam mihi praeterea officium desset, si reperire possent, qua in re me iuvarent. Quintus aversissimo a me animo Patris fuit. Eodem Corcyra filius venit. Inde profectos eos una cum ceteris arbitror.VICICERO ATTICO SALUTEM DICIT.Scr. Brundisi IV K. Dec. a. 706Sollicitum esse te, cum de tuis communibusque fortunis, tum maxime de me ac de dolore meo sentio. Qui quidem meus dolor non modo non minuitur, cum socium sibi adiungit dolorem tuum, sed etiam augetur. Omnino pro tua prudentia sentis, qua consolatione levari maxime possim. Probas enim meum consilium negasque mihi quicquam tali tempore potius faciendum fuisse. Addis etiam (quod etsi mihi levius est quam tuum iudicium, tamen non est leve) ceteris quoque, id est qui pondus habeant, factum nostrum probari. Id si ita putarem, levius dolerem. "Crede," inquis, "mihi." Credo equidem, sed scio, quam cupias minui dolorem meum. Me discessisse ab armis numquam paenituit. Tanta erat in illis crudelitas, tanta cum barbaris gentibus coniunctio, ut non nominatim, sed generatim proscriptio esset informata, ut iam omnium iudicio constitutum esset omnium vestrum bona praedam esse illius victoriae. "Vestrum" plane dico; numquam enim de te ipso nisi[Pg 365]had nothing to write about, not that I did not wish to write.For your query about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail in service to me, if they could find any means of helping me. Quintus showed the bitterest ill-feeling to me at Patrae. His son came thither from Corcyra: and I suppose they have set out from there with the others.VICICERO to ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, November 27,B.C.48I see you are anxious about your own fate and the fate of us all, and especially about me and my sorrows; but my sorrows are not lessened one whit by the addition of yours in sympathy, they are even increased. Of course your own intelligence makes you feel what consolation can comfort me most: for you approve of my plan and say that under the circumstances I could not have done anything better. You add something, which does not weigh with me so much as your judgement, though it has some weight, that every one elseâ€”I mean every one else who mattersâ€”approves of what I did. If I could persuade myself of that, I should feel less sorrow. "Believe me," you say. I do believe you; but I know how anxious you are to relieve my sorrow. I have never regretted leaving the camp. Cruelty was so rampant there, and there was so close an alliance with barbarian nations, that a plan was sketched out for a proscription not of persons but of whole classes; and everybody had made up their minds that the property of you all was to be the prize of his victory. I say "you" advisedly, for none

[Pg 364]

intellegis rem mihi desse, de qua scribam, non voluntatem.

Quod de Vatinio quaeris, neque illius neque cuiusquam mihi praeterea officium desset, si reperire possent, qua in re me iuvarent. Quintus aversissimo a me animo Patris fuit. Eodem Corcyra filius venit. Inde profectos eos una cum ceteris arbitror.

Scr. Brundisi IV K. Dec. a. 706

Sollicitum esse te, cum de tuis communibusque fortunis, tum maxime de me ac de dolore meo sentio. Qui quidem meus dolor non modo non minuitur, cum socium sibi adiungit dolorem tuum, sed etiam augetur. Omnino pro tua prudentia sentis, qua consolatione levari maxime possim. Probas enim meum consilium negasque mihi quicquam tali tempore potius faciendum fuisse. Addis etiam (quod etsi mihi levius est quam tuum iudicium, tamen non est leve) ceteris quoque, id est qui pondus habeant, factum nostrum probari. Id si ita putarem, levius dolerem. "Crede," inquis, "mihi." Credo equidem, sed scio, quam cupias minui dolorem meum. Me discessisse ab armis numquam paenituit. Tanta erat in illis crudelitas, tanta cum barbaris gentibus coniunctio, ut non nominatim, sed generatim proscriptio esset informata, ut iam omnium iudicio constitutum esset omnium vestrum bona praedam esse illius victoriae. "Vestrum" plane dico; numquam enim de te ipso nisi

[Pg 365]had nothing to write about, not that I did not wish to write.For your query about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail in service to me, if they could find any means of helping me. Quintus showed the bitterest ill-feeling to me at Patrae. His son came thither from Corcyra: and I suppose they have set out from there with the others.VICICERO to ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, November 27,B.C.48I see you are anxious about your own fate and the fate of us all, and especially about me and my sorrows; but my sorrows are not lessened one whit by the addition of yours in sympathy, they are even increased. Of course your own intelligence makes you feel what consolation can comfort me most: for you approve of my plan and say that under the circumstances I could not have done anything better. You add something, which does not weigh with me so much as your judgement, though it has some weight, that every one elseâ€”I mean every one else who mattersâ€”approves of what I did. If I could persuade myself of that, I should feel less sorrow. "Believe me," you say. I do believe you; but I know how anxious you are to relieve my sorrow. I have never regretted leaving the camp. Cruelty was so rampant there, and there was so close an alliance with barbarian nations, that a plan was sketched out for a proscription not of persons but of whole classes; and everybody had made up their minds that the property of you all was to be the prize of his victory. I say "you" advisedly, for none

[Pg 365]

had nothing to write about, not that I did not wish to write.

For your query about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail in service to me, if they could find any means of helping me. Quintus showed the bitterest ill-feeling to me at Patrae. His son came thither from Corcyra: and I suppose they have set out from there with the others.

Brundisium, November 27,B.C.48

I see you are anxious about your own fate and the fate of us all, and especially about me and my sorrows; but my sorrows are not lessened one whit by the addition of yours in sympathy, they are even increased. Of course your own intelligence makes you feel what consolation can comfort me most: for you approve of my plan and say that under the circumstances I could not have done anything better. You add something, which does not weigh with me so much as your judgement, though it has some weight, that every one elseâ€”I mean every one else who mattersâ€”approves of what I did. If I could persuade myself of that, I should feel less sorrow. "Believe me," you say. I do believe you; but I know how anxious you are to relieve my sorrow. I have never regretted leaving the camp. Cruelty was so rampant there, and there was so close an alliance with barbarian nations, that a plan was sketched out for a proscription not of persons but of whole classes; and everybody had made up their minds that the property of you all was to be the prize of his victory. I say "you" advisedly, for none

[Pg 366]crudelissime cogitatum est. Quare voluntatis me meae numquam paenitebit, consilii paenitet. In oppido aliquo mallem resedisse, quoad accerserer: minus sermonis subissem, minus accepissem doloris; ipsum hoc me non angeret. Brundisi iacere in omnes partes est molestum. Propius accedere, ut suades, quo modo sine lictoribus, quos populus dedit, possum? qui mihi incolumi adimi non possunt. Quos ego nunc paulisper cum bacillis in turbam conieci ad oppidum accedens, ne quis impetus militum fieret. Reliquo tempore me domi tenui.[172]Ad Oppium et Balbum scripsi,[173]quonam iis placeret modo propius accedere, ut hac de re considerarent. Credo fore auctores. Sic enim recipiunt, Caesari non modo de conservanda, sed etiam de augenda mea dignitate curae fore, meque hortantur, ut magno animo sim, ut omnia summa sperem. Ea spondent, confirmant. Quae quidem mihi exploratiora essent, si remansissem. Sed ingero praeterita; vide, quaeso, igitur ea, quae restant, et explora cum istis, et, si putabis opus esse, et si istis placebit, quo magis factam nostrum Caesar probet quasi de suorum sententia factum, adhibeantur Trebonius, Pansa, si qui alii, scribantque ad Caesarem me, quicquid fecerim, de sua sententia fecisse.[172]Reliquo tempore me domi tenuiHofmann: recipio tempore me domo te nuncMSS.[173]Balbum scripsiadded by Lambinus and Lehmann.Tulliae meae morbus et imbecillitas corporis me exanimat. Quam tibi intellego magnae curae esse, quod est mihi gratissimum. De Pompei exitu mihi[Pg 367]but the cruellest thoughts were entertained about you personally. So I shall never regret my resolve; but I do regret my plan of action. I wish I had settled down in some town, till I was called for. There would have been less talk about me, less pain for me; this particular regret at any rate would not be worrying me. To remain inactive at Brundisium is annoying from every point of view. And how can I go nearer to Rome, as you advise, without the lictors given me by the people? They cannot be taken from me without depriving me of my rights. Only lately, as I was approaching Brundisium, I made them mix with the crowd with nothing but sticks in their hands for fear the soldiery might attack them: ever since I have kept at home. I have written to Oppius and to Balbus, asking them to consider how I can move nearer to Rome. I think they will advise me to do so. For they promise that Caesar will be anxious not only to preserve my dignity, but even to increase it; and they bid me be of good cheer and entertain the highest of hopes. This they warrant and guarantee. Personally I should have felt surer about it, if I had stayed where I was. But that is harping on the past; so pray look to the future and investigate the matter with them, and, if you think it necessary and they approve, call in Trebonius, Pansa and anyone else you like, that I may win Caesar's approval by appearing to follow his friends' advice, and let them write to Caesar, telling him that, what I have done, I did at their advice.My dear Tullia's illness and weakness frightens me to death. I understand you are taking great care of her, and I am very grateful. About Pompey's end

[Pg 366]

crudelissime cogitatum est. Quare voluntatis me meae numquam paenitebit, consilii paenitet. In oppido aliquo mallem resedisse, quoad accerserer: minus sermonis subissem, minus accepissem doloris; ipsum hoc me non angeret. Brundisi iacere in omnes partes est molestum. Propius accedere, ut suades, quo modo sine lictoribus, quos populus dedit, possum? qui mihi incolumi adimi non possunt. Quos ego nunc paulisper cum bacillis in turbam conieci ad oppidum accedens, ne quis impetus militum fieret. Reliquo tempore me domi tenui.[172]Ad Oppium et Balbum scripsi,[173]quonam iis placeret modo propius accedere, ut hac de re considerarent. Credo fore auctores. Sic enim recipiunt, Caesari non modo de conservanda, sed etiam de augenda mea dignitate curae fore, meque hortantur, ut magno animo sim, ut omnia summa sperem. Ea spondent, confirmant. Quae quidem mihi exploratiora essent, si remansissem. Sed ingero praeterita; vide, quaeso, igitur ea, quae restant, et explora cum istis, et, si putabis opus esse, et si istis placebit, quo magis factam nostrum Caesar probet quasi de suorum sententia factum, adhibeantur Trebonius, Pansa, si qui alii, scribantque ad Caesarem me, quicquid fecerim, de sua sententia fecisse.

[172]Reliquo tempore me domi tenuiHofmann: recipio tempore me domo te nuncMSS.

[173]Balbum scripsiadded by Lambinus and Lehmann.

Tulliae meae morbus et imbecillitas corporis me exanimat. Quam tibi intellego magnae curae esse, quod est mihi gratissimum. De Pompei exitu mihi

[Pg 367]but the cruellest thoughts were entertained about you personally. So I shall never regret my resolve; but I do regret my plan of action. I wish I had settled down in some town, till I was called for. There would have been less talk about me, less pain for me; this particular regret at any rate would not be worrying me. To remain inactive at Brundisium is annoying from every point of view. And how can I go nearer to Rome, as you advise, without the lictors given me by the people? They cannot be taken from me without depriving me of my rights. Only lately, as I was approaching Brundisium, I made them mix with the crowd with nothing but sticks in their hands for fear the soldiery might attack them: ever since I have kept at home. I have written to Oppius and to Balbus, asking them to consider how I can move nearer to Rome. I think they will advise me to do so. For they promise that Caesar will be anxious not only to preserve my dignity, but even to increase it; and they bid me be of good cheer and entertain the highest of hopes. This they warrant and guarantee. Personally I should have felt surer about it, if I had stayed where I was. But that is harping on the past; so pray look to the future and investigate the matter with them, and, if you think it necessary and they approve, call in Trebonius, Pansa and anyone else you like, that I may win Caesar's approval by appearing to follow his friends' advice, and let them write to Caesar, telling him that, what I have done, I did at their advice.My dear Tullia's illness and weakness frightens me to death. I understand you are taking great care of her, and I am very grateful. About Pompey's end

[Pg 367]

but the cruellest thoughts were entertained about you personally. So I shall never regret my resolve; but I do regret my plan of action. I wish I had settled down in some town, till I was called for. There would have been less talk about me, less pain for me; this particular regret at any rate would not be worrying me. To remain inactive at Brundisium is annoying from every point of view. And how can I go nearer to Rome, as you advise, without the lictors given me by the people? They cannot be taken from me without depriving me of my rights. Only lately, as I was approaching Brundisium, I made them mix with the crowd with nothing but sticks in their hands for fear the soldiery might attack them: ever since I have kept at home. I have written to Oppius and to Balbus, asking them to consider how I can move nearer to Rome. I think they will advise me to do so. For they promise that Caesar will be anxious not only to preserve my dignity, but even to increase it; and they bid me be of good cheer and entertain the highest of hopes. This they warrant and guarantee. Personally I should have felt surer about it, if I had stayed where I was. But that is harping on the past; so pray look to the future and investigate the matter with them, and, if you think it necessary and they approve, call in Trebonius, Pansa and anyone else you like, that I may win Caesar's approval by appearing to follow his friends' advice, and let them write to Caesar, telling him that, what I have done, I did at their advice.

My dear Tullia's illness and weakness frightens me to death. I understand you are taking great care of her, and I am very grateful. About Pompey's end

[Pg 368]dubium numquam fuit. Tanta enim desperatio rerum eius omnium regum et populorum animos occuparat, ut, quocumque venisset, hoc putarem futurum. Non possum eius casum non dolere; hominem enim integrum et castum et gravem cognovi. De Fannio consoler te? Perniciosa loquebatur de mansione tua. L. vero Lentulus Hortensi domum sibi et Caesaris hortos et Baias desponderat. Omnino haec eodem modo ex hac parte fiunt, nisi quod illud erat infintum. Omnes enim, qui in Italia manserant, hostium numero habebantur. Sed velim haec aliquando solutiore animo.Quintum fratrem audio profectum in Asiam, ut deprecaretur. De filio nihil audivi; sed quaere ex Diochare, Caesaris liberto, quem ego non vidi, qui istas Alexandrea litteras attulit. Is dicitur vidisse Quintum euntem an iam in Asia. Tuas litteras, prout res postulat, exspecto. Quas velim cures quam primum ad me perferendas.IIIIK. Decembr.VIICICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi XIV Kal. Ian. a. 706Gratae tuae mihi litterae sunt, quibus accurate perscripsisti omnia, quae ad me pertinere arbitratus es. Et factum igitur tu scribis istis placere et placere[174]isdem istis lictoribus me uti, quod concessum Sestio[174]es. Et factum igitur tu scribis istis placere et placereSteinkopf: est ea factum igitur ut scribis istis placereMSS.[Pg 369]I never had any doubt. For despair of his success had so completely taken possession of the minds of all the kings and peoples, that I thought this would happen to him, wherever he might go. I cannot help feeling sorry for his fate, for I knew him to be a man of honour and high moral principle. Am I to condole with you about Fannius? He used to speak virulently of you for staying in Rome. L. Lentulus, you know, had promised himself Hortensius' house, Caesar's gardens, and a place at Baiae. Precisely the same is taking place on this side too, except that on the other there was no limit. For they counted every one who stayed in Italy as an enemy. But I would rather speak of this sometime when I am less worried.I hear my brother Quintus has set out for Asia to make his peace. About his son I have heard nothing; but ask Diochares, Caesar's freedman, who brought those letters from Alexandria. I have not seen him. He is said to have seen Quintus either on the way, or was it already in Asia? I am looking forward to a letter from you, as the occasion demands. Please try to get it conveyed to me as soon as possible.November 27.VIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, Dec. 17,B.C.48I am much obliged to you for your letter, in which you have recorded carefully everything you think concerns me. So you say that they approve both of my actions, and of my keeping my lictors, as Sestius is allowed to keep his: though in his case I think it is not so much a question of being allowed to keep

[Pg 368]

dubium numquam fuit. Tanta enim desperatio rerum eius omnium regum et populorum animos occuparat, ut, quocumque venisset, hoc putarem futurum. Non possum eius casum non dolere; hominem enim integrum et castum et gravem cognovi. De Fannio consoler te? Perniciosa loquebatur de mansione tua. L. vero Lentulus Hortensi domum sibi et Caesaris hortos et Baias desponderat. Omnino haec eodem modo ex hac parte fiunt, nisi quod illud erat infintum. Omnes enim, qui in Italia manserant, hostium numero habebantur. Sed velim haec aliquando solutiore animo.

Quintum fratrem audio profectum in Asiam, ut deprecaretur. De filio nihil audivi; sed quaere ex Diochare, Caesaris liberto, quem ego non vidi, qui istas Alexandrea litteras attulit. Is dicitur vidisse Quintum euntem an iam in Asia. Tuas litteras, prout res postulat, exspecto. Quas velim cures quam primum ad me perferendas.IIIIK. Decembr.

Scr. Brundisi XIV Kal. Ian. a. 706

Gratae tuae mihi litterae sunt, quibus accurate perscripsisti omnia, quae ad me pertinere arbitratus es. Et factum igitur tu scribis istis placere et placere[174]isdem istis lictoribus me uti, quod concessum Sestio

[174]es. Et factum igitur tu scribis istis placere et placereSteinkopf: est ea factum igitur ut scribis istis placereMSS.

[Pg 369]I never had any doubt. For despair of his success had so completely taken possession of the minds of all the kings and peoples, that I thought this would happen to him, wherever he might go. I cannot help feeling sorry for his fate, for I knew him to be a man of honour and high moral principle. Am I to condole with you about Fannius? He used to speak virulently of you for staying in Rome. L. Lentulus, you know, had promised himself Hortensius' house, Caesar's gardens, and a place at Baiae. Precisely the same is taking place on this side too, except that on the other there was no limit. For they counted every one who stayed in Italy as an enemy. But I would rather speak of this sometime when I am less worried.I hear my brother Quintus has set out for Asia to make his peace. About his son I have heard nothing; but ask Diochares, Caesar's freedman, who brought those letters from Alexandria. I have not seen him. He is said to have seen Quintus either on the way, or was it already in Asia? I am looking forward to a letter from you, as the occasion demands. Please try to get it conveyed to me as soon as possible.November 27.VIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, Dec. 17,B.C.48I am much obliged to you for your letter, in which you have recorded carefully everything you think concerns me. So you say that they approve both of my actions, and of my keeping my lictors, as Sestius is allowed to keep his: though in his case I think it is not so much a question of being allowed to keep

[Pg 369]

I never had any doubt. For despair of his success had so completely taken possession of the minds of all the kings and peoples, that I thought this would happen to him, wherever he might go. I cannot help feeling sorry for his fate, for I knew him to be a man of honour and high moral principle. Am I to condole with you about Fannius? He used to speak virulently of you for staying in Rome. L. Lentulus, you know, had promised himself Hortensius' house, Caesar's gardens, and a place at Baiae. Precisely the same is taking place on this side too, except that on the other there was no limit. For they counted every one who stayed in Italy as an enemy. But I would rather speak of this sometime when I am less worried.

I hear my brother Quintus has set out for Asia to make his peace. About his son I have heard nothing; but ask Diochares, Caesar's freedman, who brought those letters from Alexandria. I have not seen him. He is said to have seen Quintus either on the way, or was it already in Asia? I am looking forward to a letter from you, as the occasion demands. Please try to get it conveyed to me as soon as possible.

November 27.

Brundisium, Dec. 17,B.C.48

I am much obliged to you for your letter, in which you have recorded carefully everything you think concerns me. So you say that they approve both of my actions, and of my keeping my lictors, as Sestius is allowed to keep his: though in his case I think it is not so much a question of being allowed to keep

[Pg 370]sit; cui non puto suos esse concessos, sed ad ipso datos. Audio enim eum ea senatus consulta improbare, quae post discessum tribunorum facta sunt. Quare poterit, si volet sibi constare, nostros lictores comprobare,Quamquam quid ego de lictoribus, qui paene ex Italia decedere sim iussus? Nam ad me misit Antonius exemplum Caesaris ad se litterarum, in quibus erat se audisse Catonem et L. Metellum in Italiam venisse, Romae ut essent palam. Id sibi non placere, ne qui motus ex eo fierent; prohiberique omnes Italia, nisi quorum ipse causam cognovisset; deque eo vehementius erat scriptum. Itaque Antonius petebat a me per litteras, ut sibi ignoscerem; facere se non posse, quin iis litteris pareret. Tum ad eum misi L. Lamiam, qui demonstraret illum Dolabellae dixisse, ut ad me scriberet, ut in Italiam quam primum venirem; eius me litteris venisse. Tum ille edixit ita, ut me exciperet et Laelium nominatim. Quod sane nollem; poterat enim sine nomine res ipsa excipi.O multas et graves offensiones! quas quidem tu das operam ut lenias, nec tamen nihil proficis, quin hoc ipso minuis dolorem meum, quod, ut minuas, tam valde laboras; idque velim ne gravere quam saepissime facere. Maxime autem adsequere, quod vis, si me adduxeris, ut existimem me bonorum iudicium non funditus perdidisse. Quamquam quid tu in eo potes? Nihil scilicet. Sed, si quid res dabit tibi facultatis, id me maxima consolari poterit; quod nunc quidem[Pg 371]them as of their being assigned to him by Caesar himself. For I am told he repudiates all the decrees of the Senate which were passed after the departure of the tribunes. So, if he wants to be consistent, he will be able to approve my lictors.However, what is the use of talking about lictors, when I have almost been ordered to leave Italy. For Antony has sent me a copy of a letter from Caesar, in which he said he had heard that Cato and L. Metellus had come to Italy and intended to live openly at Rome: that he did not like, for fear it might cause some disturbance: and that none may enter Italy, until he has himself investigated their case. He put the point very strongly. So Antony wrote asking my pardon, and saying he could not help obeying the letter. Then I sent L. Lamia to him to point out that Caesar had told Dolabella to write and tell me to come to Italy as soon as possible: and that it was on the strength of that letter that I had come. Then Antony issued an edict excepting myself and Laelius by name. I wish he had not done that: he might have made an exception without mentioning names.What a heap of troubles and how serious too! And you are doing your best to make them lighter, and with some successâ€”indeed that you try so hard to relieve me is some relief in itself. I hope you won't find it a burden to do so as often as possible. But you will succeed in your object best, if you can convince me that I have not entirely lost the good opinion of the loyal party. Yet what can you do in that matter? Nothing of course. But, if anything gives a chance, that is what will best console me. I see that at present it is impossible:

[Pg 370]

sit; cui non puto suos esse concessos, sed ad ipso datos. Audio enim eum ea senatus consulta improbare, quae post discessum tribunorum facta sunt. Quare poterit, si volet sibi constare, nostros lictores comprobare,

Quamquam quid ego de lictoribus, qui paene ex Italia decedere sim iussus? Nam ad me misit Antonius exemplum Caesaris ad se litterarum, in quibus erat se audisse Catonem et L. Metellum in Italiam venisse, Romae ut essent palam. Id sibi non placere, ne qui motus ex eo fierent; prohiberique omnes Italia, nisi quorum ipse causam cognovisset; deque eo vehementius erat scriptum. Itaque Antonius petebat a me per litteras, ut sibi ignoscerem; facere se non posse, quin iis litteris pareret. Tum ad eum misi L. Lamiam, qui demonstraret illum Dolabellae dixisse, ut ad me scriberet, ut in Italiam quam primum venirem; eius me litteris venisse. Tum ille edixit ita, ut me exciperet et Laelium nominatim. Quod sane nollem; poterat enim sine nomine res ipsa excipi.

O multas et graves offensiones! quas quidem tu das operam ut lenias, nec tamen nihil proficis, quin hoc ipso minuis dolorem meum, quod, ut minuas, tam valde laboras; idque velim ne gravere quam saepissime facere. Maxime autem adsequere, quod vis, si me adduxeris, ut existimem me bonorum iudicium non funditus perdidisse. Quamquam quid tu in eo potes? Nihil scilicet. Sed, si quid res dabit tibi facultatis, id me maxima consolari poterit; quod nunc quidem

[Pg 371]them as of their being assigned to him by Caesar himself. For I am told he repudiates all the decrees of the Senate which were passed after the departure of the tribunes. So, if he wants to be consistent, he will be able to approve my lictors.However, what is the use of talking about lictors, when I have almost been ordered to leave Italy. For Antony has sent me a copy of a letter from Caesar, in which he said he had heard that Cato and L. Metellus had come to Italy and intended to live openly at Rome: that he did not like, for fear it might cause some disturbance: and that none may enter Italy, until he has himself investigated their case. He put the point very strongly. So Antony wrote asking my pardon, and saying he could not help obeying the letter. Then I sent L. Lamia to him to point out that Caesar had told Dolabella to write and tell me to come to Italy as soon as possible: and that it was on the strength of that letter that I had come. Then Antony issued an edict excepting myself and Laelius by name. I wish he had not done that: he might have made an exception without mentioning names.What a heap of troubles and how serious too! And you are doing your best to make them lighter, and with some successâ€”indeed that you try so hard to relieve me is some relief in itself. I hope you won't find it a burden to do so as often as possible. But you will succeed in your object best, if you can convince me that I have not entirely lost the good opinion of the loyal party. Yet what can you do in that matter? Nothing of course. But, if anything gives a chance, that is what will best console me. I see that at present it is impossible:

[Pg 371]

them as of their being assigned to him by Caesar himself. For I am told he repudiates all the decrees of the Senate which were passed after the departure of the tribunes. So, if he wants to be consistent, he will be able to approve my lictors.

However, what is the use of talking about lictors, when I have almost been ordered to leave Italy. For Antony has sent me a copy of a letter from Caesar, in which he said he had heard that Cato and L. Metellus had come to Italy and intended to live openly at Rome: that he did not like, for fear it might cause some disturbance: and that none may enter Italy, until he has himself investigated their case. He put the point very strongly. So Antony wrote asking my pardon, and saying he could not help obeying the letter. Then I sent L. Lamia to him to point out that Caesar had told Dolabella to write and tell me to come to Italy as soon as possible: and that it was on the strength of that letter that I had come. Then Antony issued an edict excepting myself and Laelius by name. I wish he had not done that: he might have made an exception without mentioning names.

What a heap of troubles and how serious too! And you are doing your best to make them lighter, and with some successâ€”indeed that you try so hard to relieve me is some relief in itself. I hope you won't find it a burden to do so as often as possible. But you will succeed in your object best, if you can convince me that I have not entirely lost the good opinion of the loyal party. Yet what can you do in that matter? Nothing of course. But, if anything gives a chance, that is what will best console me. I see that at present it is impossible:

[Pg 372]video non esse, sed, si quid ex eventis, ut hoc nunc accidit. Dicebar debuisse cum Pompeio proficisci. Exitus illius minuit eius officii praetermissi reprehensionem. Sed ex omnibus nihil magis tamem desideratur, quam quod in Africam non ierim. Iudicio hoc sum usus, non esse barbaris auxiliis fallacissimae gentis rem publicam defendendam, praesertim contra exercitum saepe victorem, Non probant fortasse; multos enim viros bonos in Africam venisse audio et scio fuisse antea. Valde hoc loco urgeor. Hic quoque opus est casu, ut aliqui sint ex eis, aut, si potest, omnes qui salutem anteponant. Nam, si perseverant et obtinent, quid nobis futurum sit, vides. Dices: "Quid illis, si victi erunt?" Honestior est plaga. Haec me excruciant. Sulpici autem consilium non scripsisti cur meo non anteponeres. Quod etsi non tam gloriosum est quam Catonis, tamen et periculo vacuum est et dolore. Extremum est eorum, qui in Achaia sunt. Ei tamen ipsi se hoc melius habent quam nos, quod et multi sunt uno in loco, et, cum in Italiam venerint, domum statim venerint. Haec tu perge, ut facis, mitigare et probare quam plurimis.Quod te excusas, ego vero et tuas causas nosco et mea interesse puto te istic esse, vel ut cum eis, quibus oportebit, agas, quae erunt agenda de nobis,[Pg 373]but if anything does turns up, as in this present case. It used to be said that I ought to have gone with Pompey: but now his death tends to absolve me from blame for neglecting my duty in that case. But where I am thought to have been most lacking is in not going to Africa. My view was that barbarian auxiliaries drawn from a most deceitful race were not the proper persons to defend the State, especially against an army which had won so many victories. That view may not meet with approval; for I hear that many patriots have arrived in Africa, and I know there were some there before. This is a point that really bothers me: and here again I must trust to luck, that there may be some of them, or, if such a thing is possible, all of them, who put safety first. For, if they hold fast and succeed, you can see what a position I shall be in. You will say "How about it, if they are defeated?" That is a more honourable blow. This is what tortures me. However, you have not told me why you do not prefer Sulpicius' policy to mine. It may not be so glorious as Cato's: but it is at any rate free from danger and regret. The last case is that of those who stayed in Achaia. Even they are in a better position than I am, because there are many of them together, and, when they do come to Italy, they will go straight home. Please continue your efforts to ameliorate my position and to win over as many people as possible to approval.You explain why you do not come. Yes, I know your reasons and think it is to my interest that you should stay where you are, for one thing that you may be able to carry out any necessary negotiations about me with the proper persons, as you have done.

[Pg 372]

video non esse, sed, si quid ex eventis, ut hoc nunc accidit. Dicebar debuisse cum Pompeio proficisci. Exitus illius minuit eius officii praetermissi reprehensionem. Sed ex omnibus nihil magis tamem desideratur, quam quod in Africam non ierim. Iudicio hoc sum usus, non esse barbaris auxiliis fallacissimae gentis rem publicam defendendam, praesertim contra exercitum saepe victorem, Non probant fortasse; multos enim viros bonos in Africam venisse audio et scio fuisse antea. Valde hoc loco urgeor. Hic quoque opus est casu, ut aliqui sint ex eis, aut, si potest, omnes qui salutem anteponant. Nam, si perseverant et obtinent, quid nobis futurum sit, vides. Dices: "Quid illis, si victi erunt?" Honestior est plaga. Haec me excruciant. Sulpici autem consilium non scripsisti cur meo non anteponeres. Quod etsi non tam gloriosum est quam Catonis, tamen et periculo vacuum est et dolore. Extremum est eorum, qui in Achaia sunt. Ei tamen ipsi se hoc melius habent quam nos, quod et multi sunt uno in loco, et, cum in Italiam venerint, domum statim venerint. Haec tu perge, ut facis, mitigare et probare quam plurimis.

Quod te excusas, ego vero et tuas causas nosco et mea interesse puto te istic esse, vel ut cum eis, quibus oportebit, agas, quae erunt agenda de nobis,

[Pg 373]but if anything does turns up, as in this present case. It used to be said that I ought to have gone with Pompey: but now his death tends to absolve me from blame for neglecting my duty in that case. But where I am thought to have been most lacking is in not going to Africa. My view was that barbarian auxiliaries drawn from a most deceitful race were not the proper persons to defend the State, especially against an army which had won so many victories. That view may not meet with approval; for I hear that many patriots have arrived in Africa, and I know there were some there before. This is a point that really bothers me: and here again I must trust to luck, that there may be some of them, or, if such a thing is possible, all of them, who put safety first. For, if they hold fast and succeed, you can see what a position I shall be in. You will say "How about it, if they are defeated?" That is a more honourable blow. This is what tortures me. However, you have not told me why you do not prefer Sulpicius' policy to mine. It may not be so glorious as Cato's: but it is at any rate free from danger and regret. The last case is that of those who stayed in Achaia. Even they are in a better position than I am, because there are many of them together, and, when they do come to Italy, they will go straight home. Please continue your efforts to ameliorate my position and to win over as many people as possible to approval.You explain why you do not come. Yes, I know your reasons and think it is to my interest that you should stay where you are, for one thing that you may be able to carry out any necessary negotiations about me with the proper persons, as you have done.

[Pg 373]

but if anything does turns up, as in this present case. It used to be said that I ought to have gone with Pompey: but now his death tends to absolve me from blame for neglecting my duty in that case. But where I am thought to have been most lacking is in not going to Africa. My view was that barbarian auxiliaries drawn from a most deceitful race were not the proper persons to defend the State, especially against an army which had won so many victories. That view may not meet with approval; for I hear that many patriots have arrived in Africa, and I know there were some there before. This is a point that really bothers me: and here again I must trust to luck, that there may be some of them, or, if such a thing is possible, all of them, who put safety first. For, if they hold fast and succeed, you can see what a position I shall be in. You will say "How about it, if they are defeated?" That is a more honourable blow. This is what tortures me. However, you have not told me why you do not prefer Sulpicius' policy to mine. It may not be so glorious as Cato's: but it is at any rate free from danger and regret. The last case is that of those who stayed in Achaia. Even they are in a better position than I am, because there are many of them together, and, when they do come to Italy, they will go straight home. Please continue your efforts to ameliorate my position and to win over as many people as possible to approval.

You explain why you do not come. Yes, I know your reasons and think it is to my interest that you should stay where you are, for one thing that you may be able to carry out any necessary negotiations about me with the proper persons, as you have done.

[Pg 374]ut ea, quae egisti. In primisque hoc velim animadvertas. Multos esse arbitror, qui ad Caesarem detulerint delaturive sint me aut paenitere consilli mei aut non probare, quae fiant. Quorum etsi utrumque verum est, tamen ab illis dicitur animo a me alienato, non quo ita esse perspexerint. Sed totum in eo est, ut hoc Balbus sustineat et Oppius, et eorum crebis litteris illius voluntas erga me confirmetur. Et hoc plane ut fiat, diligentiam adhibeis. Alterum est, cur te nolim discedere, quod scribis Tulliam te flagitare. O rem miseram! quid scribam aut quid velim? Breve faciam, lacrimae enim se subito profunderunt. Tibi permitto, tu consule; tantum vide, ne hoc tempore isti obesse aliquid possit. Ignosce, obsecro te. Non possum prae fletu et dolore diutius in hoc loco commorari. Tantum dicam, nihil mihi gratius esse, quam quod eam diligis.Quod litteras, quibus putas opus esse, curas dandas, facis commode. Quintum filium vidi qui Sami vidisset, patrem Sicyone. Quorum deprecatio est facilis. Utinam illi qui prius illum viderent, me apud eum velint adiutum tantum, quantum ego illos vellem, si quid possem!Quod rogas, ut in bonam partem accipiam, si qua sint in tuis litteris, quae me mordeant, ego vero in optimam, teque rogo, ut aperte, quem ad modum facis, scribas ad me omnia idque facias quam saepissime. ValeXIIIIK. Ian.[Pg 375]And in the first place I should like to call your attention to this point. I think there are many who have reported or will report to Caesar either that I am repenting of my policy or that I do not approve of recent events. Though both are true, they say it out of spite against me, not because they have seen it to be so. Everything rests on the support of Balbus and Oppius, and on their confirming Caesar's good will to me by sending him frequent letters. Please do your best to bring this about. The other reason why I prefer you not to leave is that you say Tullia begs for your assistance. What a misfortune? What can I say? What can I even wish? I will cut the matter short, for tears spring to my eyes at once. I give you a free hand: do you look to it. Only take care that nothing is done under the present circumstances to offend the great man. I crave your pardon. Tears and sorrow prevent me from dwelling any longer on this topic. I will only add that nothing makes me feel more grateful to you than your love for her.You are quite right to send letters for me to anyone to whom you think it necessary. I have met a man who saw young Quintus at Samos and his father at Sicyon. They will easily obtain their pardon. I only hope, that, as they will see Caesar first, they will think fit to further my case with him, as much as I should have furthered theirs, if I had been able.You ask me to take it in good part, if there is anything in your letters that wounds my feelings. I promise you to take it in the best possible part, and I beg you to write everything quite openly, as you do, and to do so as often as possible. Farewell.Dec. 17.

[Pg 374]

ut ea, quae egisti. In primisque hoc velim animadvertas. Multos esse arbitror, qui ad Caesarem detulerint delaturive sint me aut paenitere consilli mei aut non probare, quae fiant. Quorum etsi utrumque verum est, tamen ab illis dicitur animo a me alienato, non quo ita esse perspexerint. Sed totum in eo est, ut hoc Balbus sustineat et Oppius, et eorum crebis litteris illius voluntas erga me confirmetur. Et hoc plane ut fiat, diligentiam adhibeis. Alterum est, cur te nolim discedere, quod scribis Tulliam te flagitare. O rem miseram! quid scribam aut quid velim? Breve faciam, lacrimae enim se subito profunderunt. Tibi permitto, tu consule; tantum vide, ne hoc tempore isti obesse aliquid possit. Ignosce, obsecro te. Non possum prae fletu et dolore diutius in hoc loco commorari. Tantum dicam, nihil mihi gratius esse, quam quod eam diligis.

Quod litteras, quibus putas opus esse, curas dandas, facis commode. Quintum filium vidi qui Sami vidisset, patrem Sicyone. Quorum deprecatio est facilis. Utinam illi qui prius illum viderent, me apud eum velint adiutum tantum, quantum ego illos vellem, si quid possem!

Quod rogas, ut in bonam partem accipiam, si qua sint in tuis litteris, quae me mordeant, ego vero in optimam, teque rogo, ut aperte, quem ad modum facis, scribas ad me omnia idque facias quam saepissime. ValeXIIIIK. Ian.

[Pg 375]And in the first place I should like to call your attention to this point. I think there are many who have reported or will report to Caesar either that I am repenting of my policy or that I do not approve of recent events. Though both are true, they say it out of spite against me, not because they have seen it to be so. Everything rests on the support of Balbus and Oppius, and on their confirming Caesar's good will to me by sending him frequent letters. Please do your best to bring this about. The other reason why I prefer you not to leave is that you say Tullia begs for your assistance. What a misfortune? What can I say? What can I even wish? I will cut the matter short, for tears spring to my eyes at once. I give you a free hand: do you look to it. Only take care that nothing is done under the present circumstances to offend the great man. I crave your pardon. Tears and sorrow prevent me from dwelling any longer on this topic. I will only add that nothing makes me feel more grateful to you than your love for her.You are quite right to send letters for me to anyone to whom you think it necessary. I have met a man who saw young Quintus at Samos and his father at Sicyon. They will easily obtain their pardon. I only hope, that, as they will see Caesar first, they will think fit to further my case with him, as much as I should have furthered theirs, if I had been able.You ask me to take it in good part, if there is anything in your letters that wounds my feelings. I promise you to take it in the best possible part, and I beg you to write everything quite openly, as you do, and to do so as often as possible. Farewell.Dec. 17.

[Pg 375]

And in the first place I should like to call your attention to this point. I think there are many who have reported or will report to Caesar either that I am repenting of my policy or that I do not approve of recent events. Though both are true, they say it out of spite against me, not because they have seen it to be so. Everything rests on the support of Balbus and Oppius, and on their confirming Caesar's good will to me by sending him frequent letters. Please do your best to bring this about. The other reason why I prefer you not to leave is that you say Tullia begs for your assistance. What a misfortune? What can I say? What can I even wish? I will cut the matter short, for tears spring to my eyes at once. I give you a free hand: do you look to it. Only take care that nothing is done under the present circumstances to offend the great man. I crave your pardon. Tears and sorrow prevent me from dwelling any longer on this topic. I will only add that nothing makes me feel more grateful to you than your love for her.

You are quite right to send letters for me to anyone to whom you think it necessary. I have met a man who saw young Quintus at Samos and his father at Sicyon. They will easily obtain their pardon. I only hope, that, as they will see Caesar first, they will think fit to further my case with him, as much as I should have furthered theirs, if I had been able.

You ask me to take it in good part, if there is anything in your letters that wounds my feelings. I promise you to take it in the best possible part, and I beg you to write everything quite openly, as you do, and to do so as often as possible. Farewell.

Dec. 17.

[Pg 376]VIIICICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi XIII K. Ian. a. 706Quantis curis conficiar, etsi profecto vides, tamen cognosces ex Lepta et Trebatio. Maximas poenas pendo temeritatis meae, quam tu prudentiam mihi videri vis; neque te deterreo, quo minus id disputes scribasque ad me quam saepissime. Non nihil enim me levant tuae litterae hoc tempore. Per eos, qui nostra causa volunt valentque apud illum, diligentissime contendas opus est, per Balbum et Oppium maxime, ut de me scribant quam diligentissime. Oppugnamur enim, ut audio, et a praesentibus quibusdam et per litteras. Eis ita est occurrendum, ut rei magnitudo postulat. Fufius est illic, mihi inimicissimus. Quintus misit filium non solum sui deprecatorem, sed etiam accusatorem mei. Dictitat se a me apud Caesarem oppugnari, quod refellit Caesar ipse omnesque eius amici. Neque vero desistit, ubicumque est, omnia in me maledicta conferre, Nihil mihi umquam tam incredibile accidit, nihil in his malis tam acerbum. Qui ex ipso audissent, cum Sicyone palam multis audientibus loqueretur nefaria quaedam, ad me pertulerunt. Nosti genus, etiam expertus es fortasse. In me id est omne conversum. Sed augeo commemorando dolorem et facio etiam tibi. Quare ad illud redeo. Cura, ut huius rei causa dedita opera mittat[Pg 377]VIIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium Dec. 18,B.C.48Though of course you see for yourself in what distress I am, you will learn more about it from Lepta and Trebatius. I am paying very heavily for my rashness, which you want to persuade me was prudence: and I don't want to stop you arguing that it was and writing to me to that effect as often as possible. For your letters afford me a good deal of relief under the present circumstances. You must use your utmost endeavour with those who are my supporters and have influence with himâ€”Balbus and Oppius especiallyâ€”to make them write about me as strongly as possible. For I hear that I am being attacked by some who are with him, and also by letter. Their attack must be met, as the importance of the matter demands. Fufius, a very bitter enemy of mine, is there. Quintus sent his son not only to make peace for himself, but to accuse me. He keeps saying that I am trying to set Caesar against him, though Caesar and all his friends deny it. And he does not cease, wherever he is, from heaping all sorts of abuse on me. It is the most surprising thing that ever happened to me and the bitterest of all my present sorrows. Those who reported the matter to me professed to have heard it from his own lips, when he was slandering me at Sicyon in the hearing of many. You know his way; indeed you may have had some personal experience of it. Now it is all turned on me. But I increase my own sorrow, and yours too, by speaking of it. So I return to my first point. Take care that Balbus sends some one expressly

[Pg 376]

Scr. Brundisi XIII K. Ian. a. 706

Quantis curis conficiar, etsi profecto vides, tamen cognosces ex Lepta et Trebatio. Maximas poenas pendo temeritatis meae, quam tu prudentiam mihi videri vis; neque te deterreo, quo minus id disputes scribasque ad me quam saepissime. Non nihil enim me levant tuae litterae hoc tempore. Per eos, qui nostra causa volunt valentque apud illum, diligentissime contendas opus est, per Balbum et Oppium maxime, ut de me scribant quam diligentissime. Oppugnamur enim, ut audio, et a praesentibus quibusdam et per litteras. Eis ita est occurrendum, ut rei magnitudo postulat. Fufius est illic, mihi inimicissimus. Quintus misit filium non solum sui deprecatorem, sed etiam accusatorem mei. Dictitat se a me apud Caesarem oppugnari, quod refellit Caesar ipse omnesque eius amici. Neque vero desistit, ubicumque est, omnia in me maledicta conferre, Nihil mihi umquam tam incredibile accidit, nihil in his malis tam acerbum. Qui ex ipso audissent, cum Sicyone palam multis audientibus loqueretur nefaria quaedam, ad me pertulerunt. Nosti genus, etiam expertus es fortasse. In me id est omne conversum. Sed augeo commemorando dolorem et facio etiam tibi. Quare ad illud redeo. Cura, ut huius rei causa dedita opera mittat

[Pg 377]VIIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium Dec. 18,B.C.48Though of course you see for yourself in what distress I am, you will learn more about it from Lepta and Trebatius. I am paying very heavily for my rashness, which you want to persuade me was prudence: and I don't want to stop you arguing that it was and writing to me to that effect as often as possible. For your letters afford me a good deal of relief under the present circumstances. You must use your utmost endeavour with those who are my supporters and have influence with himâ€”Balbus and Oppius especiallyâ€”to make them write about me as strongly as possible. For I hear that I am being attacked by some who are with him, and also by letter. Their attack must be met, as the importance of the matter demands. Fufius, a very bitter enemy of mine, is there. Quintus sent his son not only to make peace for himself, but to accuse me. He keeps saying that I am trying to set Caesar against him, though Caesar and all his friends deny it. And he does not cease, wherever he is, from heaping all sorts of abuse on me. It is the most surprising thing that ever happened to me and the bitterest of all my present sorrows. Those who reported the matter to me professed to have heard it from his own lips, when he was slandering me at Sicyon in the hearing of many. You know his way; indeed you may have had some personal experience of it. Now it is all turned on me. But I increase my own sorrow, and yours too, by speaking of it. So I return to my first point. Take care that Balbus sends some one expressly

[Pg 377]

Brundisium Dec. 18,B.C.48

Though of course you see for yourself in what distress I am, you will learn more about it from Lepta and Trebatius. I am paying very heavily for my rashness, which you want to persuade me was prudence: and I don't want to stop you arguing that it was and writing to me to that effect as often as possible. For your letters afford me a good deal of relief under the present circumstances. You must use your utmost endeavour with those who are my supporters and have influence with himâ€”Balbus and Oppius especiallyâ€”to make them write about me as strongly as possible. For I hear that I am being attacked by some who are with him, and also by letter. Their attack must be met, as the importance of the matter demands. Fufius, a very bitter enemy of mine, is there. Quintus sent his son not only to make peace for himself, but to accuse me. He keeps saying that I am trying to set Caesar against him, though Caesar and all his friends deny it. And he does not cease, wherever he is, from heaping all sorts of abuse on me. It is the most surprising thing that ever happened to me and the bitterest of all my present sorrows. Those who reported the matter to me professed to have heard it from his own lips, when he was slandering me at Sicyon in the hearing of many. You know his way; indeed you may have had some personal experience of it. Now it is all turned on me. But I increase my own sorrow, and yours too, by speaking of it. So I return to my first point. Take care that Balbus sends some one expressly

[Pg 378]aliquem Balbus. Ad quos videbitur, velim cures litteras meo nomine. Vale.XIIIKal. Ian.IXCICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi III Non. Ian. a. 707Ego vero et incaute, ut scribis, et celerius, quam oportuit, feci, nec in ulla sum spe, quippe qui exceptionibus edictorum retinear. Quae si non essent sedulitate effectae et benevolentia tua, liceret mihi abire in solitudines aliquas. Nunc ne id quidem licet. Quid autem me iuvat, quod ante initum tribunatum veni, si ipsum, quod veni, nihil iuvat? Iam quid sperem ab eo, qui mihi amicus numquam fuit, cum iam lege etiam sim confectus et oppressus? Cotidie iam Balbi ad me litterae languidiores, multaeque multorum ad illum fortasse contra me. Meo vitio pereo; nihil mihi mali casus attulit, omnia culpa contracta sunt. Ego enim, cum genus belli viderem, imparata et infirma omnia contra paratissimos, statueram, quid facerem, ceperamque consilium non tam forte quam mihi praeter ceteros concedendum. Cessi meis vel potius parui. Ex quibus unus qua mente fuerit, is quem tu mihi commendas, cognosces ex ipsius litteris, quas ad te et ad alios misit. Quas ego numquam aperuissem, nisi res acta sic esset. Delatus est ad me fasciculus. Solvi, si quid ad me esset litterarum. Nihil erat, epistula Vatinio et Ligurio altera. Iussi ad eos deferri. Illi ad me[Pg 379]for this purpose. Please send letters in my name to anyone you think should have them. Farewell.Dec. 18.IXCICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, Jan. 3,B.C.47I have certainly acted incautiously, as you say, and more hastily than I should; and I have no hope seeing that I am tied here by the special clause in the edict. If that had not been inserted by your own kind efforts, I might have gone to some lonely retreat. Now not even that is open to me. How does it help me that I came before the tribunes entered on office, when my coming at all does not help? And what have I now to hope from a man who never was friendly with me, when my ruin and humiliation is secured even by law? Balbus' letters to me are becoming daily cooler, and it may be he receives dozens against me. My own fault is my ruin. Fortune has brought no ills upon me: I have brought them all on my own head. For when I saw what kind of war it was going to be, one side unprepared and weak and the other thoroughly well prepared, I had made my planâ€”not a very courageous plan perhaps, but one for which there were special excuses in my case. I gave way to my relations, or rather I obeyed them. What the real feelings of one of them wereâ€”the one for whom you speakâ€”you will know from the letters he has sent to you and to others. I should never have opened them, had it not been for the following circumstance. A packet was brought to me. I undid it to see if there was any letter for me. There was none; but one for Vatinius and another for Ligurius. Those I had

[Pg 378]

aliquem Balbus. Ad quos videbitur, velim cures litteras meo nomine. Vale.XIIIKal. Ian.

Scr. Brundisi III Non. Ian. a. 707

Ego vero et incaute, ut scribis, et celerius, quam oportuit, feci, nec in ulla sum spe, quippe qui exceptionibus edictorum retinear. Quae si non essent sedulitate effectae et benevolentia tua, liceret mihi abire in solitudines aliquas. Nunc ne id quidem licet. Quid autem me iuvat, quod ante initum tribunatum veni, si ipsum, quod veni, nihil iuvat? Iam quid sperem ab eo, qui mihi amicus numquam fuit, cum iam lege etiam sim confectus et oppressus? Cotidie iam Balbi ad me litterae languidiores, multaeque multorum ad illum fortasse contra me. Meo vitio pereo; nihil mihi mali casus attulit, omnia culpa contracta sunt. Ego enim, cum genus belli viderem, imparata et infirma omnia contra paratissimos, statueram, quid facerem, ceperamque consilium non tam forte quam mihi praeter ceteros concedendum. Cessi meis vel potius parui. Ex quibus unus qua mente fuerit, is quem tu mihi commendas, cognosces ex ipsius litteris, quas ad te et ad alios misit. Quas ego numquam aperuissem, nisi res acta sic esset. Delatus est ad me fasciculus. Solvi, si quid ad me esset litterarum. Nihil erat, epistula Vatinio et Ligurio altera. Iussi ad eos deferri. Illi ad me

[Pg 379]for this purpose. Please send letters in my name to anyone you think should have them. Farewell.Dec. 18.IXCICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, Jan. 3,B.C.47I have certainly acted incautiously, as you say, and more hastily than I should; and I have no hope seeing that I am tied here by the special clause in the edict. If that had not been inserted by your own kind efforts, I might have gone to some lonely retreat. Now not even that is open to me. How does it help me that I came before the tribunes entered on office, when my coming at all does not help? And what have I now to hope from a man who never was friendly with me, when my ruin and humiliation is secured even by law? Balbus' letters to me are becoming daily cooler, and it may be he receives dozens against me. My own fault is my ruin. Fortune has brought no ills upon me: I have brought them all on my own head. For when I saw what kind of war it was going to be, one side unprepared and weak and the other thoroughly well prepared, I had made my planâ€”not a very courageous plan perhaps, but one for which there were special excuses in my case. I gave way to my relations, or rather I obeyed them. What the real feelings of one of them wereâ€”the one for whom you speakâ€”you will know from the letters he has sent to you and to others. I should never have opened them, had it not been for the following circumstance. A packet was brought to me. I undid it to see if there was any letter for me. There was none; but one for Vatinius and another for Ligurius. Those I had

[Pg 379]

for this purpose. Please send letters in my name to anyone you think should have them. Farewell.

Dec. 18.

Brundisium, Jan. 3,B.C.47

I have certainly acted incautiously, as you say, and more hastily than I should; and I have no hope seeing that I am tied here by the special clause in the edict. If that had not been inserted by your own kind efforts, I might have gone to some lonely retreat. Now not even that is open to me. How does it help me that I came before the tribunes entered on office, when my coming at all does not help? And what have I now to hope from a man who never was friendly with me, when my ruin and humiliation is secured even by law? Balbus' letters to me are becoming daily cooler, and it may be he receives dozens against me. My own fault is my ruin. Fortune has brought no ills upon me: I have brought them all on my own head. For when I saw what kind of war it was going to be, one side unprepared and weak and the other thoroughly well prepared, I had made my planâ€”not a very courageous plan perhaps, but one for which there were special excuses in my case. I gave way to my relations, or rather I obeyed them. What the real feelings of one of them wereâ€”the one for whom you speakâ€”you will know from the letters he has sent to you and to others. I should never have opened them, had it not been for the following circumstance. A packet was brought to me. I undid it to see if there was any letter for me. There was none; but one for Vatinius and another for Ligurius. Those I had

[Pg 380]statim ardentes dolore venerunt scelus hominis clamantes; epistulas mihi legerunt plenas omnium in me probrorum. Hic Ligurius furere. "Se enim scire summo illum in odio fuisse Caesari. Illum tamen non modo favisse, sed etiam tantam illi pecuniam dedisse honoris mei causa." Hoc ego dolore accepto volui scire, quid scripsisset ad ceteros; ipsi enim illi putavi perniciosum fore, si eius hoc tantum scelus percrebruisset. Cognovi eiusdem generis. Ad te misi. Quas si putabis illi ipsi utile esse reddi, reddes. Nil me laedet. Nam, quod resignatae sunt, habet, opinor, eius signum Pomponia. Hac ille acerbitate initio navigationis cum usus esset, tanto me dolore adfecit, ut postea iacuerim, neque nunc tam pro se quam contra me laborare dicitur.Ita omnibus rebus urgeor; quas sustinere vix possum vel plane nullo modo possum. Quibus in miseriis una est pro omnibus, quod istam miseram patrimonio, fortuna omni spoliatam relinquam. Quare te, ut polliceris, videre plane velim. Alium enim, cui illam commendem, habeo neminem, quoniam matri quoque eadem intellexi esse parata quae mihi. Sed, si me non offendes, satis tamen habeto commendatam, patruumque in ea, quantum poteris, mitigato.Haec ad te die natali meo scripsi. Quo utinam susceptus non essem, aut ne quid ex eadem matre postea natum esset! Plura scribere fletu prohibeor.[Pg 381]sent to them. They came to me at once boiling with indignation and crying shame on him, and they read me letters full of all kinds of abuse of myself. Then Ligurius burst out with fury, "to his certain knowledge Caesar detested Quintus and had favoured him and given him all that money out of compliment to me." After this blow I wanted to know what he had said to the others: for I thought it would be disastrous to his own reputation if such a scandal got abroad. I found they were all of a piece, and have sent them to you. If you think it will do him any good to have them delivered, have them delivered. It won't do me any harm. Though the seals are broken, I think Pomponia has his signet. When, at the beginning of our voyage, he adopted this bitter tone, I was so upset that I was prostrated afterwards; and now he is said to be working against me rather than for himself.So I am weighed down by such a heavy burden of griefs that I can hardly bear up under it; indeed, I cannot possibly bear up under it. And among all my miseries there is one that outweighs all the restâ€”that I shall leave that poor girl[175]deprived of her patrimony and penniless. So I hope you will fulfil your promise and look after her. I have no one else to entrust her to, for I hear that her mother is threatened with the same fate as myself. If you do not find me here, take this as sufficient injunction as regards her, and soften her uncle towards her as far as you can.[175]Tullia.This I am writing on my birthday. Would that I had been left to die on the day of my birth, or that my mother had never had another child. Tears prevent me from writing more.

[Pg 380]

statim ardentes dolore venerunt scelus hominis clamantes; epistulas mihi legerunt plenas omnium in me probrorum. Hic Ligurius furere. "Se enim scire summo illum in odio fuisse Caesari. Illum tamen non modo favisse, sed etiam tantam illi pecuniam dedisse honoris mei causa." Hoc ego dolore accepto volui scire, quid scripsisset ad ceteros; ipsi enim illi putavi perniciosum fore, si eius hoc tantum scelus percrebruisset. Cognovi eiusdem generis. Ad te misi. Quas si putabis illi ipsi utile esse reddi, reddes. Nil me laedet. Nam, quod resignatae sunt, habet, opinor, eius signum Pomponia. Hac ille acerbitate initio navigationis cum usus esset, tanto me dolore adfecit, ut postea iacuerim, neque nunc tam pro se quam contra me laborare dicitur.

Ita omnibus rebus urgeor; quas sustinere vix possum vel plane nullo modo possum. Quibus in miseriis una est pro omnibus, quod istam miseram patrimonio, fortuna omni spoliatam relinquam. Quare te, ut polliceris, videre plane velim. Alium enim, cui illam commendem, habeo neminem, quoniam matri quoque eadem intellexi esse parata quae mihi. Sed, si me non offendes, satis tamen habeto commendatam, patruumque in ea, quantum poteris, mitigato.

Haec ad te die natali meo scripsi. Quo utinam susceptus non essem, aut ne quid ex eadem matre postea natum esset! Plura scribere fletu prohibeor.

[Pg 381]sent to them. They came to me at once boiling with indignation and crying shame on him, and they read me letters full of all kinds of abuse of myself. Then Ligurius burst out with fury, "to his certain knowledge Caesar detested Quintus and had favoured him and given him all that money out of compliment to me." After this blow I wanted to know what he had said to the others: for I thought it would be disastrous to his own reputation if such a scandal got abroad. I found they were all of a piece, and have sent them to you. If you think it will do him any good to have them delivered, have them delivered. It won't do me any harm. Though the seals are broken, I think Pomponia has his signet. When, at the beginning of our voyage, he adopted this bitter tone, I was so upset that I was prostrated afterwards; and now he is said to be working against me rather than for himself.So I am weighed down by such a heavy burden of griefs that I can hardly bear up under it; indeed, I cannot possibly bear up under it. And among all my miseries there is one that outweighs all the restâ€”that I shall leave that poor girl[175]deprived of her patrimony and penniless. So I hope you will fulfil your promise and look after her. I have no one else to entrust her to, for I hear that her mother is threatened with the same fate as myself. If you do not find me here, take this as sufficient injunction as regards her, and soften her uncle towards her as far as you can.[175]Tullia.This I am writing on my birthday. Would that I had been left to die on the day of my birth, or that my mother had never had another child. Tears prevent me from writing more.

[Pg 381]

sent to them. They came to me at once boiling with indignation and crying shame on him, and they read me letters full of all kinds of abuse of myself. Then Ligurius burst out with fury, "to his certain knowledge Caesar detested Quintus and had favoured him and given him all that money out of compliment to me." After this blow I wanted to know what he had said to the others: for I thought it would be disastrous to his own reputation if such a scandal got abroad. I found they were all of a piece, and have sent them to you. If you think it will do him any good to have them delivered, have them delivered. It won't do me any harm. Though the seals are broken, I think Pomponia has his signet. When, at the beginning of our voyage, he adopted this bitter tone, I was so upset that I was prostrated afterwards; and now he is said to be working against me rather than for himself.

So I am weighed down by such a heavy burden of griefs that I can hardly bear up under it; indeed, I cannot possibly bear up under it. And among all my miseries there is one that outweighs all the restâ€”that I shall leave that poor girl[175]deprived of her patrimony and penniless. So I hope you will fulfil your promise and look after her. I have no one else to entrust her to, for I hear that her mother is threatened with the same fate as myself. If you do not find me here, take this as sufficient injunction as regards her, and soften her uncle towards her as far as you can.

[175]Tullia.

This I am writing on my birthday. Would that I had been left to die on the day of my birth, or that my mother had never had another child. Tears prevent me from writing more.

[Pg 382]XCICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi XII K. Febr. a. 707Ad meas incredibiles aegritudines aliquid novi accedit ex iis, quae de Q. Q. ad me adferuntur. P. Terentius, meus necessarius, operas in portu et scriptura Asiae pro magistro dedit. Is Quintum filium Ephesi viditVIIdus Decembr. eumque studiose propter amicitiam nostram invitavit; cumque ex eo de me percontaretur, eum sibi ita dixisse narrabat, se mihi esse inimicissimum, volumenque sibi ostendisse orationis, quam apud Caesarem contra me esset habiturus. Multa a se dicta contra eius amentiam. Multa postea Patris simili scelere secum Quintum patrem locutum; cuius furorem ex iis epistulis, quas ad te misi, perspicere potuisti. Haec tibi dolori esse certo scio; me quidem excruciant, et eo magis, quod mihi cum illis ne querendi quidem locum futurum puto.De Africanis rebus longe alia nobis, ac tu scripseras, nuntiantur. Nihil enim firmius esse dicunt, nihil paratius. Accedit Hispania et alienata Italia, legionum nec vis eadem nec voluntas, urbanae res perditae. Quid est, ubi acquiescam, nisi quam diu tuas litteras lego? Quae essent profecto crebriores, si quid haberes, quo putares meam molestiam minui posse. Sed tamen te rogo, ut ne intermittas scribere ad me, quicquid erit, eosque, qui mihi tam crudeliter inimici sunt, si odisse non potes, accuses tamen[Pg 383]XCICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium Jan. 19,B.C.47To my sorrows, which are incalculable, there has come an addition in the news that is brought me about the two Quinti. My friend P. Terentius was acting as deputy to the collector of port-dues and pasture tax in Asia, and he saw young Quintus at Ephesus on the 8th of December and gave him a cordial invitation on account of our friendship. And when he asked him something about me, Quintus told him that I was his deadliest enemy and showed him the manuscript of a speech which he said he was going to deliver before Caesar against me. Terentius said all he could to dissuade him from such folly. Afterwards at Patrae the elder Quintus talked freely to him in the same scandalous strain. What a rage he is in you will have inferred from the letters I sent you. I am sure this will grieve you. To me it is positive torture, especially as I don't expect I shall even have a chance of expostulating with them.The news I get about the state of affairs in Africa is quite different to what you sent me. They say that all is as strong and as ready as possible. Then there are Spain and Italy alienated from Caesar; his legions are not what they were either in strength or in loyalty; and in the city things are in a poor plight; I cannot get a moment's peace except when I am reading your letters. They would certainly be more frequent, if you had any news which you thought would lighten my sorrows. Still I beg you not to neglect writing to me, whatever the news may be; and, if you cannot bring yourself to hate those who have shown such unfeeling hostility to me, at

[Pg 382]

Scr. Brundisi XII K. Febr. a. 707

Ad meas incredibiles aegritudines aliquid novi accedit ex iis, quae de Q. Q. ad me adferuntur. P. Terentius, meus necessarius, operas in portu et scriptura Asiae pro magistro dedit. Is Quintum filium Ephesi viditVIIdus Decembr. eumque studiose propter amicitiam nostram invitavit; cumque ex eo de me percontaretur, eum sibi ita dixisse narrabat, se mihi esse inimicissimum, volumenque sibi ostendisse orationis, quam apud Caesarem contra me esset habiturus. Multa a se dicta contra eius amentiam. Multa postea Patris simili scelere secum Quintum patrem locutum; cuius furorem ex iis epistulis, quas ad te misi, perspicere potuisti. Haec tibi dolori esse certo scio; me quidem excruciant, et eo magis, quod mihi cum illis ne querendi quidem locum futurum puto.

De Africanis rebus longe alia nobis, ac tu scripseras, nuntiantur. Nihil enim firmius esse dicunt, nihil paratius. Accedit Hispania et alienata Italia, legionum nec vis eadem nec voluntas, urbanae res perditae. Quid est, ubi acquiescam, nisi quam diu tuas litteras lego? Quae essent profecto crebriores, si quid haberes, quo putares meam molestiam minui posse. Sed tamen te rogo, ut ne intermittas scribere ad me, quicquid erit, eosque, qui mihi tam crudeliter inimici sunt, si odisse non potes, accuses tamen

[Pg 383]XCICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium Jan. 19,B.C.47To my sorrows, which are incalculable, there has come an addition in the news that is brought me about the two Quinti. My friend P. Terentius was acting as deputy to the collector of port-dues and pasture tax in Asia, and he saw young Quintus at Ephesus on the 8th of December and gave him a cordial invitation on account of our friendship. And when he asked him something about me, Quintus told him that I was his deadliest enemy and showed him the manuscript of a speech which he said he was going to deliver before Caesar against me. Terentius said all he could to dissuade him from such folly. Afterwards at Patrae the elder Quintus talked freely to him in the same scandalous strain. What a rage he is in you will have inferred from the letters I sent you. I am sure this will grieve you. To me it is positive torture, especially as I don't expect I shall even have a chance of expostulating with them.The news I get about the state of affairs in Africa is quite different to what you sent me. They say that all is as strong and as ready as possible. Then there are Spain and Italy alienated from Caesar; his legions are not what they were either in strength or in loyalty; and in the city things are in a poor plight; I cannot get a moment's peace except when I am reading your letters. They would certainly be more frequent, if you had any news which you thought would lighten my sorrows. Still I beg you not to neglect writing to me, whatever the news may be; and, if you cannot bring yourself to hate those who have shown such unfeeling hostility to me, at

[Pg 383]

Brundisium Jan. 19,B.C.47

To my sorrows, which are incalculable, there has come an addition in the news that is brought me about the two Quinti. My friend P. Terentius was acting as deputy to the collector of port-dues and pasture tax in Asia, and he saw young Quintus at Ephesus on the 8th of December and gave him a cordial invitation on account of our friendship. And when he asked him something about me, Quintus told him that I was his deadliest enemy and showed him the manuscript of a speech which he said he was going to deliver before Caesar against me. Terentius said all he could to dissuade him from such folly. Afterwards at Patrae the elder Quintus talked freely to him in the same scandalous strain. What a rage he is in you will have inferred from the letters I sent you. I am sure this will grieve you. To me it is positive torture, especially as I don't expect I shall even have a chance of expostulating with them.

The news I get about the state of affairs in Africa is quite different to what you sent me. They say that all is as strong and as ready as possible. Then there are Spain and Italy alienated from Caesar; his legions are not what they were either in strength or in loyalty; and in the city things are in a poor plight; I cannot get a moment's peace except when I am reading your letters. They would certainly be more frequent, if you had any news which you thought would lighten my sorrows. Still I beg you not to neglect writing to me, whatever the news may be; and, if you cannot bring yourself to hate those who have shown such unfeeling hostility to me, at

[Pg 384]non ut aliquid proficias, sed ut tibi me carum esse sentiant. Plura ad te scribam, si mihi ad eas litteras, quas proxime ad te dedi, rescripseris. Vale.XIIK. Febr.XICICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707Confectus iam cruciatu maximorum dolorum, ne si sit quidem, quod ad te debeam scribere, facile id exsequi possim, hoc minus, quod res nulla est, quae scribenda sit, cum praesertim ne spes quidem ulla ostendatur fore melius. Ita iam ne tuas quidem litteras exspecto, quamquam semper aliquid adferunt, quod velim. Quare tu quidem scribito, cum erit, cui des. Ego tuis proximis, quas tamen iam pridem accepi, nihil habeo quod rescribam; longo enim intervallo video immutata esse omnia; illa esse firma, quae debeant, nos stultitiae nostrae gravissimas poenas pendere.P. Sallustio curanda sunt HSXXX, quae accepi a Cn. Sallustio. Velim videas, ut sine mora curentur. De ea re scripsi ad Terentiam. Atque hoc ipsum iam prope consumptum est. Quare id quoque velim cum illa videas, ut sit, qui utamur. Hic fortasse potero sumere, si sciam istic paratum fore; sed, priusquam id scirem, nihil sum ausus sumere. Qui sit omnium rerum status noster, vides. Nihil est mali, quod non et sustineam et exspectem. Quarum[Pg 385]any rate reprove them, not in the hope of doing any good, but to make them feel that I am dear to you. I will write more, if you answer the last letter I sent. Farewell.Jan. 19.XICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, March 8,B.C.47Worn out as I am by the agony of my grievous sorrows I should not find it an easy task to write to you, even if there were anything I ought to write; and it is far less easy, when I have nothing worth writing, especially as there is not even a gleam of hope for better days. So hopeless am I that now I do not look forward even to your letters, though they always bring me something I like to hear. So pray write, whenever you have a messenger. I have no answer to give to your last letter, though it is a long time since I received it, for I see no change in the long interval: the right cause is strong, and I am paying very heavily for my folly.The Â£250[176]which I had from Cn. Sallustius are to be paid to P. Sallustius. Please see that it is done without delay. I have written to Terentia about it. And now it is nearly all spent: so I wish you would arrange with her for some money for me to go on with. I shall possibly be able to get some here, if I know I have a balance at Rome; but, before I know that, I dare not try. You see the position of all my affairs. There is no sort of misfortune which I am not enduring and expecting. For this state of affairs[176]30,000 sesterces.

[Pg 384]

non ut aliquid proficias, sed ut tibi me carum esse sentiant. Plura ad te scribam, si mihi ad eas litteras, quas proxime ad te dedi, rescripseris. Vale.

XIIK. Febr.

Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707

Confectus iam cruciatu maximorum dolorum, ne si sit quidem, quod ad te debeam scribere, facile id exsequi possim, hoc minus, quod res nulla est, quae scribenda sit, cum praesertim ne spes quidem ulla ostendatur fore melius. Ita iam ne tuas quidem litteras exspecto, quamquam semper aliquid adferunt, quod velim. Quare tu quidem scribito, cum erit, cui des. Ego tuis proximis, quas tamen iam pridem accepi, nihil habeo quod rescribam; longo enim intervallo video immutata esse omnia; illa esse firma, quae debeant, nos stultitiae nostrae gravissimas poenas pendere.

P. Sallustio curanda sunt HSXXX, quae accepi a Cn. Sallustio. Velim videas, ut sine mora curentur. De ea re scripsi ad Terentiam. Atque hoc ipsum iam prope consumptum est. Quare id quoque velim cum illa videas, ut sit, qui utamur. Hic fortasse potero sumere, si sciam istic paratum fore; sed, priusquam id scirem, nihil sum ausus sumere. Qui sit omnium rerum status noster, vides. Nihil est mali, quod non et sustineam et exspectem. Quarum

[Pg 385]any rate reprove them, not in the hope of doing any good, but to make them feel that I am dear to you. I will write more, if you answer the last letter I sent. Farewell.Jan. 19.XICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, March 8,B.C.47Worn out as I am by the agony of my grievous sorrows I should not find it an easy task to write to you, even if there were anything I ought to write; and it is far less easy, when I have nothing worth writing, especially as there is not even a gleam of hope for better days. So hopeless am I that now I do not look forward even to your letters, though they always bring me something I like to hear. So pray write, whenever you have a messenger. I have no answer to give to your last letter, though it is a long time since I received it, for I see no change in the long interval: the right cause is strong, and I am paying very heavily for my folly.The Â£250[176]which I had from Cn. Sallustius are to be paid to P. Sallustius. Please see that it is done without delay. I have written to Terentia about it. And now it is nearly all spent: so I wish you would arrange with her for some money for me to go on with. I shall possibly be able to get some here, if I know I have a balance at Rome; but, before I know that, I dare not try. You see the position of all my affairs. There is no sort of misfortune which I am not enduring and expecting. For this state of affairs[176]30,000 sesterces.

[Pg 385]

any rate reprove them, not in the hope of doing any good, but to make them feel that I am dear to you. I will write more, if you answer the last letter I sent. Farewell.

Jan. 19.

Brundisium, March 8,B.C.47

Worn out as I am by the agony of my grievous sorrows I should not find it an easy task to write to you, even if there were anything I ought to write; and it is far less easy, when I have nothing worth writing, especially as there is not even a gleam of hope for better days. So hopeless am I that now I do not look forward even to your letters, though they always bring me something I like to hear. So pray write, whenever you have a messenger. I have no answer to give to your last letter, though it is a long time since I received it, for I see no change in the long interval: the right cause is strong, and I am paying very heavily for my folly.

The Â£250[176]which I had from Cn. Sallustius are to be paid to P. Sallustius. Please see that it is done without delay. I have written to Terentia about it. And now it is nearly all spent: so I wish you would arrange with her for some money for me to go on with. I shall possibly be able to get some here, if I know I have a balance at Rome; but, before I know that, I dare not try. You see the position of all my affairs. There is no sort of misfortune which I am not enduring and expecting. For this state of affairs

[176]30,000 sesterces.

[Pg 386]rerum eo gravior est dolor, quo culpa maior. Ille in Achaia non cessat de nobis detrahere. Nihil videlicet tuae litterae profecerunt. Vale.VIIIIdus Mart.XIICICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707Cephalio mihi a te litteras reddidit a. d.VIIIId. Mart. vespere. Eo autem die mane tabellarios miseram; quibus ad te dederam litteras. Tuis tamen lectis litteris putavi iam aliquid rescribendum esse ea re maxime, quod ostendis te pendere animi, quamnam rationem sim Caesari allaturus profectionis meae tum, cum ex Italia discesserim. Nihil opus est mihi nova ratione. Saepe enim ad eum scripsi multisque mandavi, me non potuisse, cum cupissem, sermones hominum sustinere, multaque in eam sententiam. Nihil enim erat, quod minus eum vellem existimare, quam me tanta de re non meo consilio usum esse. Posteaque, cum mihi litterae a Balbo Cornelio minore missae essent illum existimare Quintum fratrem "lituum" meae profectionis fuisse (ita enim scripsit), qui nondum cognossem, quae de me Quintus scripsisset ad multos, etsi multa praesens in praesentem acerbe dixerat et fecerat, tamen nilo minus his verbis ad Caesarem scripsi:"De Quinto fratre meo non minus laboro quam de me ipso, sed eum tibi commendare hoc meo tempore non audeo. Illud dumtaxat tamen audebo petere[Pg 387]I feel the greater sorrow, because my fault is greater. My brother in Achaia does not cease slandering me. Your letter has of course had no effect. Farewell.March 8.XIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, March 8,B.C.47Cephalio delivered a letter from you on the 8th of March in the evening. Now on the morning of the same day I had sent messengers and had given them a letter for you. But, when I read yours, I thought I ought to send some answer, particularly because you show you are in doubt as to what explanation I am going to offer Caesar of my departure when I did depart from Italy. I have no necessity for a new explanation, for I have often told him myself and instructed others to tell him that I could not put up with people's talk, although I wished it, and much else to the same effect. For there is nothing that I should be more unwilling for him to imagine than that I did not make up my own mind on so important a question. Afterwards I received a letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger saying that Caesar thought my brother Quintus had sounded the bugle for my departure (that was his expression). I was not then aware of what Quintus had written about me to many people; but, though he had spoken and acted with great bitterness when face to face with me, none the less I wrote to Caesar as follows:"I am as much troubled about my brother Quintus as about myself; but under the present circumstances I do not venture to recommend him to you. One thing, however, I will venture to ask youâ€”I

[Pg 386]

rerum eo gravior est dolor, quo culpa maior. Ille in Achaia non cessat de nobis detrahere. Nihil videlicet tuae litterae profecerunt. Vale.

VIIIIdus Mart.

Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707

Cephalio mihi a te litteras reddidit a. d.VIIIId. Mart. vespere. Eo autem die mane tabellarios miseram; quibus ad te dederam litteras. Tuis tamen lectis litteris putavi iam aliquid rescribendum esse ea re maxime, quod ostendis te pendere animi, quamnam rationem sim Caesari allaturus profectionis meae tum, cum ex Italia discesserim. Nihil opus est mihi nova ratione. Saepe enim ad eum scripsi multisque mandavi, me non potuisse, cum cupissem, sermones hominum sustinere, multaque in eam sententiam. Nihil enim erat, quod minus eum vellem existimare, quam me tanta de re non meo consilio usum esse. Posteaque, cum mihi litterae a Balbo Cornelio minore missae essent illum existimare Quintum fratrem "lituum" meae profectionis fuisse (ita enim scripsit), qui nondum cognossem, quae de me Quintus scripsisset ad multos, etsi multa praesens in praesentem acerbe dixerat et fecerat, tamen nilo minus his verbis ad Caesarem scripsi:

"De Quinto fratre meo non minus laboro quam de me ipso, sed eum tibi commendare hoc meo tempore non audeo. Illud dumtaxat tamen audebo petere

[Pg 387]I feel the greater sorrow, because my fault is greater. My brother in Achaia does not cease slandering me. Your letter has of course had no effect. Farewell.March 8.XIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brundisium, March 8,B.C.47Cephalio delivered a letter from you on the 8th of March in the evening. Now on the morning of the same day I had sent messengers and had given them a letter for you. But, when I read yours, I thought I ought to send some answer, particularly because you show you are in doubt as to what explanation I am going to offer Caesar of my departure when I did depart from Italy. I have no necessity for a new explanation, for I have often told him myself and instructed others to tell him that I could not put up with people's talk, although I wished it, and much else to the same effect. For there is nothing that I should be more unwilling for him to imagine than that I did not make up my own mind on so important a question. Afterwards I received a letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger saying that Caesar thought my brother Quintus had sounded the bugle for my departure (that was his expression). I was not then aware of what Quintus had written about me to many people; but, though he had spoken and acted with great bitterness when face to face with me, none the less I wrote to Caesar as follows:"I am as much troubled about my brother Quintus as about myself; but under the present circumstances I do not venture to recommend him to you. One thing, however, I will venture to ask youâ€”I

[Pg 387]

I feel the greater sorrow, because my fault is greater. My brother in Achaia does not cease slandering me. Your letter has of course had no effect. Farewell.

March 8.

Brundisium, March 8,B.C.47

Cephalio delivered a letter from you on the 8th of March in the evening. Now on the morning of the same day I had sent messengers and had given them a letter for you. But, when I read yours, I thought I ought to send some answer, particularly because you show you are in doubt as to what explanation I am going to offer Caesar of my departure when I did depart from Italy. I have no necessity for a new explanation, for I have often told him myself and instructed others to tell him that I could not put up with people's talk, although I wished it, and much else to the same effect. For there is nothing that I should be more unwilling for him to imagine than that I did not make up my own mind on so important a question. Afterwards I received a letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger saying that Caesar thought my brother Quintus had sounded the bugle for my departure (that was his expression). I was not then aware of what Quintus had written about me to many people; but, though he had spoken and acted with great bitterness when face to face with me, none the less I wrote to Caesar as follows:

"I am as much troubled about my brother Quintus as about myself; but under the present circumstances I do not venture to recommend him to you. One thing, however, I will venture to ask youâ€”I

[Pg 388]abs te, quod te oro, ne quid existimes ab illo factum esse, quo minus mea in te officia constarent, minusve te diligerem, potiusque semper illum auctorem nostrae coniunctionis fuisse, meique itineris comitem, non ducem. Quare ceteris in rebus tantum ei tribues, quantum humanitas tua amicitiaque vestra postulat. Ego ei ne quid apud te obsim, id te vehementer etiam atque etiam rogo."Quare, si quis congressus fuerit mihi cum Caesare, etsi non dubito, quin is lenis in illum futurus sit idque iam declaraverit, ego tamen is ero, qui semper fui. Sed, ut video, multo magis est nobis laborandum de Africa; quam quidem tu scribis confirmari cotidie magis ad condicionis spem quam victoriae. Quod utinam ita esset! Sed longe aliter esse intellego teque ipsum ita existimare arbitror, aliter autem scribere non fallendi, sed confirmandi mei causa, praesertim cum adiungatur ad Africam etiam Hispania.Quod me admones, ut scribam ad Antonium et ad ceteros, si quid videbitur tibi opus esse, velim facias id, quod saepe fecisti. Nihil enim mihi venit in mentem, quod scribendum putem. Quod me audis erectiorem esse animo, quid putas, cum videas accessisse ad superiores aegritudines praeclaras generi[Pg 389]beseech you to acquit him of doing anything to disturb my sense of your claims on me or to lessen my affection for you, and rather to regard him as the main factor of our union and the companion, not the leader, in my departure. And therefore in all other matters you will give him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship demands. What I earnestly beg you again and again is, that you will not let me stand in his light with you."So, if I ever do meet Caesar, though I have no doubt that he will be lenient to Quintus and that he has already made that plain, I shall behave as I always have behaved. But, as I see, what I ought to be most anxious about is Africa, which you say is daily growing stronger, though only to the extent of raising hopes of a compromise rather than a victory. If it could only be true! But I read the signs quite differently, and I think you agree with me, and only say the contrary to hearten me, not to deceive me, especially as Spain too has now joined Africa.[177][177]After his victory in Spain in 49B.C., Caesar left Q. Cassius Longinus in command there; but Spain went over to Pompey and both Longinus and his successor, C. Trebonius, were driven out.You advise me to write to Antony and others. If you think it necessary, please do it for me, as you have often done before; for I cannot think of anything worth writing. You hear I am less broken-spirited; but can you believe it, when you see that to my former troubles are now added my son-in-law's fine doings?[178]However, pray do not cease[178]Dolabella as tribune endeavoured to introduce a bill for the relief of debtors, which caused riots.

[Pg 388]

abs te, quod te oro, ne quid existimes ab illo factum esse, quo minus mea in te officia constarent, minusve te diligerem, potiusque semper illum auctorem nostrae coniunctionis fuisse, meique itineris comitem, non ducem. Quare ceteris in rebus tantum ei tribues, quantum humanitas tua amicitiaque vestra postulat. Ego ei ne quid apud te obsim, id te vehementer etiam atque etiam rogo."

Quare, si quis congressus fuerit mihi cum Caesare, etsi non dubito, quin is lenis in illum futurus sit idque iam declaraverit, ego tamen is ero, qui semper fui. Sed, ut video, multo magis est nobis laborandum de Africa; quam quidem tu scribis confirmari cotidie magis ad condicionis spem quam victoriae. Quod utinam ita esset! Sed longe aliter esse intellego teque ipsum ita existimare arbitror, aliter autem scribere non fallendi, sed confirmandi mei causa, praesertim cum adiungatur ad Africam etiam Hispania.

Quod me admones, ut scribam ad Antonium et ad ceteros, si quid videbitur tibi opus esse, velim facias id, quod saepe fecisti. Nihil enim mihi venit in mentem, quod scribendum putem. Quod me audis erectiorem esse animo, quid putas, cum videas accessisse ad superiores aegritudines praeclaras generi

[Pg 389]beseech you to acquit him of doing anything to disturb my sense of your claims on me or to lessen my affection for you, and rather to regard him as the main factor of our union and the companion, not the leader, in my departure. And therefore in all other matters you will give him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship demands. What I earnestly beg you again and again is, that you will not let me stand in his light with you."So, if I ever do meet Caesar, though I have no doubt that he will be lenient to Quintus and that he has already made that plain, I shall behave as I always have behaved. But, as I see, what I ought to be most anxious about is Africa, which you say is daily growing stronger, though only to the extent of raising hopes of a compromise rather than a victory. If it could only be true! But I read the signs quite differently, and I think you agree with me, and only say the contrary to hearten me, not to deceive me, especially as Spain too has now joined Africa.[177][177]After his victory in Spain in 49B.C., Caesar left Q. Cassius Longinus in command there; but Spain went over to Pompey and both Longinus and his successor, C. Trebonius, were driven out.You advise me to write to Antony and others. If you think it necessary, please do it for me, as you have often done before; for I cannot think of anything worth writing. You hear I am less broken-spirited; but can you believe it, when you see that to my former troubles are now added my son-in-law's fine doings?[178]However, pray do not cease[178]Dolabella as tribune endeavoured to introduce a bill for the relief of debtors, which caused riots.

[Pg 389]

beseech you to acquit him of doing anything to disturb my sense of your claims on me or to lessen my affection for you, and rather to regard him as the main factor of our union and the companion, not the leader, in my departure. And therefore in all other matters you will give him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship demands. What I earnestly beg you again and again is, that you will not let me stand in his light with you."

So, if I ever do meet Caesar, though I have no doubt that he will be lenient to Quintus and that he has already made that plain, I shall behave as I always have behaved. But, as I see, what I ought to be most anxious about is Africa, which you say is daily growing stronger, though only to the extent of raising hopes of a compromise rather than a victory. If it could only be true! But I read the signs quite differently, and I think you agree with me, and only say the contrary to hearten me, not to deceive me, especially as Spain too has now joined Africa.[177]

[177]After his victory in Spain in 49B.C., Caesar left Q. Cassius Longinus in command there; but Spain went over to Pompey and both Longinus and his successor, C. Trebonius, were driven out.

You advise me to write to Antony and others. If you think it necessary, please do it for me, as you have often done before; for I cannot think of anything worth writing. You hear I am less broken-spirited; but can you believe it, when you see that to my former troubles are now added my son-in-law's fine doings?[178]However, pray do not cease

[178]Dolabella as tribune endeavoured to introduce a bill for the relief of debtors, which caused riots.

[Pg 390]actiones? Tu tamen velim ne intermittas, quod eius facere poteris, scribere ad me, etiamsi rem, de qua scribas, non habebis. Semper enim adferunt aliquid mihi tuae litterae.Galeonis hereditatem crevi. Puto enim cretionem simplicem fuisse, quoniam ad me nulla missa est.VIIIIdus Martias.XIIICICERO ATTICO SAL.Scr. Brundisi VII Id. Mart. aut paulo post, a. 707A Murenae liberto nihil adhuc acceperam litterarum. P. Siser reddiderat eas, quibus rescribo. De Servi patris litteris quod scribis, item Quintum in Syriam venisse quod ais esse qui nuntient, ne id quidem verum est. Quod certiorem te vis fieri, quo quisque in me animo sit aut fuerit eorum, qui huc venerunt, neminem alieno intellexi. Sed, quantum id mea intersit, existimare te posse certo scio. Mihi cum omnia sint intolerabilia ad dolorem, tum maxime quod in eam causam venisse me video, ut sola utilia mihi esse videantur, quae semper nolui.P. Lentulum patrem Rhodi esse aiunt, Alexandreae filium, Rhodoque Alexandream C. Cassium profectum esse constat. Quintus mihi per litteras satis facit multo asperioribus verbis, quam cum gravissime accusabat. Ait enim se ex litteris tuis intellegere tibi non placere, quod ad multos de me asperius scripserit,[Pg 391]doing what you can to hearten me, that is writing to me, even if you have nothing to say. For a letter from you always brings me something.I have accepted Galeo's legacy. I suppose it only required a simple form of acceptance,[179]since none was sent to me.[179]cretio= the formal acceptance of a legacy, andcretio simplexapparently means that no restrictions on the form of acceptance were laid down in the will.March 8.XIIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brudisium, March 9(?),B.C.47I have not received any letter from Murena's freedman as yet. It was P. Siser who delivered the one I am answering. You speak of a letter from Servius' father, and you tell me some say that Quintus has landed in Syria: neither is true. You want to be informed how those who have come here feel or felt towards me. I have not found any ill-disposed: but, how important that is to me, I am sure you can imagine. To me the whole state of affairs is insufferably painful; and most of all that I have got myself into such a case, that the only things that can be of any use to me are precisely what I have always wished not to happen.They say the elder P. Lentulus is at Rhodes, the younger at Alexandria, and it is certain that C. Cassius has left Rhodes for Alexandria. Quintus has written to apologize to me in terms much more irritating than when he was abusing me most violently. For he says that he understands from your letter that you were annoyed with him for writing

[Pg 390]

actiones? Tu tamen velim ne intermittas, quod eius facere poteris, scribere ad me, etiamsi rem, de qua scribas, non habebis. Semper enim adferunt aliquid mihi tuae litterae.

Galeonis hereditatem crevi. Puto enim cretionem simplicem fuisse, quoniam ad me nulla missa est.

VIIIIdus Martias.

Scr. Brundisi VII Id. Mart. aut paulo post, a. 707

A Murenae liberto nihil adhuc acceperam litterarum. P. Siser reddiderat eas, quibus rescribo. De Servi patris litteris quod scribis, item Quintum in Syriam venisse quod ais esse qui nuntient, ne id quidem verum est. Quod certiorem te vis fieri, quo quisque in me animo sit aut fuerit eorum, qui huc venerunt, neminem alieno intellexi. Sed, quantum id mea intersit, existimare te posse certo scio. Mihi cum omnia sint intolerabilia ad dolorem, tum maxime quod in eam causam venisse me video, ut sola utilia mihi esse videantur, quae semper nolui.

P. Lentulum patrem Rhodi esse aiunt, Alexandreae filium, Rhodoque Alexandream C. Cassium profectum esse constat. Quintus mihi per litteras satis facit multo asperioribus verbis, quam cum gravissime accusabat. Ait enim se ex litteris tuis intellegere tibi non placere, quod ad multos de me asperius scripserit,

[Pg 391]doing what you can to hearten me, that is writing to me, even if you have nothing to say. For a letter from you always brings me something.I have accepted Galeo's legacy. I suppose it only required a simple form of acceptance,[179]since none was sent to me.[179]cretio= the formal acceptance of a legacy, andcretio simplexapparently means that no restrictions on the form of acceptance were laid down in the will.March 8.XIIICICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.Brudisium, March 9(?),B.C.47I have not received any letter from Murena's freedman as yet. It was P. Siser who delivered the one I am answering. You speak of a letter from Servius' father, and you tell me some say that Quintus has landed in Syria: neither is true. You want to be informed how those who have come here feel or felt towards me. I have not found any ill-disposed: but, how important that is to me, I am sure you can imagine. To me the whole state of affairs is insufferably painful; and most of all that I have got myself into such a case, that the only things that can be of any use to me are precisely what I have always wished not to happen.They say the elder P. Lentulus is at Rhodes, the younger at Alexandria, and it is certain that C. Cassius has left Rhodes for Alexandria. Quintus has written to apologize to me in terms much more irritating than when he was abusing me most violently. For he says that he understands from your letter that you were annoyed with him for writing

[Pg 391]

doing what you can to hearten me, that is writing to me, even if you have nothing to say. For a letter from you always brings me something.

I have accepted Galeo's legacy. I suppose it only required a simple form of acceptance,[179]since none was sent to me.

[179]cretio= the formal acceptance of a legacy, andcretio simplexapparently means that no restrictions on the form of acceptance were laid down in the will.

March 8.

Brudisium, March 9(?),B.C.47

I have not received any letter from Murena's freedman as yet. It was P. Siser who delivered the one I am answering. You speak of a letter from Servius' father, and you tell me some say that Quintus has landed in Syria: neither is true. You want to be informed how those who have come here feel or felt towards me. I have not found any ill-disposed: but, how important that is to me, I am sure you can imagine. To me the whole state of affairs is insufferably painful; and most of all that I have got myself into such a case, that the only things that can be of any use to me are precisely what I have always wished not to happen.

They say the elder P. Lentulus is at Rhodes, the younger at Alexandria, and it is certain that C. Cassius has left Rhodes for Alexandria. Quintus has written to apologize to me in terms much more irritating than when he was abusing me most violently. For he says that he understands from your letter that you were annoyed with him for writing

Back to Index Next