AN OPERA IN ONE ACT
ENTITLED “THE TIME SERVERS”
As the curtain rises a large and motley crew of nondescript humanity is discovered, of all shapes, sizes, and complexions, no two being alike, except in the special feature that all wear a halter about the neck. All howl to Calliope obligato:
At us please take a look,You’ll find us on the ListIn the Auditor’s Blue Book,Where none of us are missed;We scribble and figure and writeFrom morning until night;We’re in a sorry plight,And oh—oh—oh—oh—oh!!!
At us please take a look,You’ll find us on the ListIn the Auditor’s Blue Book,Where none of us are missed;We scribble and figure and writeFrom morning until night;We’re in a sorry plight,And oh—oh—oh—oh—oh!!!
At us please take a look,You’ll find us on the ListIn the Auditor’s Blue Book,Where none of us are missed;We scribble and figure and writeFrom morning until night;We’re in a sorry plight,And oh—oh—oh—oh—oh!!!
At us please take a look,
You’ll find us on the List
In the Auditor’s Blue Book,
Where none of us are missed;
We scribble and figure and write
From morning until night;
We’re in a sorry plight,
And oh—oh—oh—oh—oh!!!
Cages are arranged R. and L. and up stage. The chorus disappears into these as Deputy enters. Deputy comes well down stage throws out his chest and sings:
I now declareThere’s nothing to compareWith my style and air,When I’m in my chair:And I further declare, without fear of opposition,That no man alive can fill my position.
I now declareThere’s nothing to compareWith my style and air,When I’m in my chair:And I further declare, without fear of opposition,That no man alive can fill my position.
I now declareThere’s nothing to compareWith my style and air,When I’m in my chair:And I further declare, without fear of opposition,That no man alive can fill my position.
I now declare
There’s nothing to compare
With my style and air,
When I’m in my chair:
And I further declare, without fear of opposition,
That no man alive can fill my position.
Chiefs, 1st, 2nd and 3rd class clerks. Class A and B, with sub-divisions, messengers, and packers crowd out of the cages and come down and sing similarly:
Deputy in high falsetto:
You see, you see,They all agreeWith the opinion I expressRegarding me.
You see, you see,They all agreeWith the opinion I expressRegarding me.
You see, you see,They all agreeWith the opinion I expressRegarding me.
You see, you see,
They all agree
With the opinion I express
Regarding me.
Chorus replies, forte:
You’re all at sea,You’re all at sea,The fellows we sing aboutIs we.
You’re all at sea,You’re all at sea,The fellows we sing aboutIs we.
You’re all at sea,You’re all at sea,The fellows we sing aboutIs we.
You’re all at sea,
You’re all at sea,
The fellows we sing about
Is we.
Enter the Minister, gazing heavenward. Deputy dives into a hole, and pulls hole in after him. Chorus proceeds to look like thirty cents. Minister sings:
It’s curious to contemplateThe ways of different menWho by the force of CharacterDo climb on top, or whenBy scheme or lucky circumstanceTheir little selves they findPerched on high public prominence,Far above common kind.One does a funny dance,Or some weird trick fantastic,Oblivious to the smiles and tearsHe causes by his antic.Another swells his chestAnd apes a thoughtful front,And fondly hopes the world looks onTo see him do his stunt.A third would lead society,And in cultured circles shine,And thinks the fact accomplished whenInstead of “eating” he must “dine.”
It’s curious to contemplateThe ways of different menWho by the force of CharacterDo climb on top, or whenBy scheme or lucky circumstanceTheir little selves they findPerched on high public prominence,Far above common kind.One does a funny dance,Or some weird trick fantastic,Oblivious to the smiles and tearsHe causes by his antic.Another swells his chestAnd apes a thoughtful front,And fondly hopes the world looks onTo see him do his stunt.A third would lead society,And in cultured circles shine,And thinks the fact accomplished whenInstead of “eating” he must “dine.”
It’s curious to contemplateThe ways of different menWho by the force of CharacterDo climb on top, or whenBy scheme or lucky circumstanceTheir little selves they findPerched on high public prominence,Far above common kind.One does a funny dance,Or some weird trick fantastic,Oblivious to the smiles and tearsHe causes by his antic.Another swells his chestAnd apes a thoughtful front,And fondly hopes the world looks onTo see him do his stunt.A third would lead society,And in cultured circles shine,And thinks the fact accomplished whenInstead of “eating” he must “dine.”
It’s curious to contemplate
The ways of different men
Who by the force of Character
Do climb on top, or when
By scheme or lucky circumstance
Their little selves they find
Perched on high public prominence,
Far above common kind.
One does a funny dance,
Or some weird trick fantastic,
Oblivious to the smiles and tears
He causes by his antic.
Another swells his chest
And apes a thoughtful front,
And fondly hopes the world looks on
To see him do his stunt.
A third would lead society,
And in cultured circles shine,
And thinks the fact accomplished when
Instead of “eating” he must “dine.”
Enter the Civil Service Commissioners. The Minister takes a back seat. Commissioners sing duo (Chorus stand at attention):
Did it ever strike youThat if you knewThe reason for the other fellow’sPoint of view,You’d have some informationFresh and new?So when you disagreeWith any he,Just take a look about and try and seeIf what he thinksCan really be.
Did it ever strike youThat if you knewThe reason for the other fellow’sPoint of view,You’d have some informationFresh and new?So when you disagreeWith any he,Just take a look about and try and seeIf what he thinksCan really be.
Did it ever strike youThat if you knewThe reason for the other fellow’sPoint of view,You’d have some informationFresh and new?So when you disagreeWith any he,Just take a look about and try and seeIf what he thinksCan really be.
Did it ever strike you
That if you knew
The reason for the other fellow’s
Point of view,
You’d have some information
Fresh and new?
So when you disagree
With any he,
Just take a look about and try and see
If what he thinks
Can really be.
Chorus sings doxology in parts. Curtain.
The whole universe is a contest between what we call Life and Death, that is, motion and rest. EveryTHINGwill eventually come to rest and other things be evolved. Given eternity and it is easily conceivable that a world will die and be resolved into its elements, what then is so objectionable in the thought of aFINALdeath to the individual whose life is but a flash as compared with all time? You cannot logically think the persistence of personality.