I can’t now—but I’m not going to take anything back because you promised to help us.
Duchess.
(Laughing delightedly and pullingLovedaydown again beside her.) Oh, so it is us?
Loveday.
Only for this piece of work, till his idea is launched, of course. What do you suppose I came across from New Zealand for?
Duchess.
(Chuckling.) I wondered.
Loveday.
Don’t you care a bit for a big idea that will help the world? Can’t you imagine a woman gladly crossing the world to have even a small share in helping it forward?
Duchess.
I could imagine it; but I have never yetobservedit.
Loveday.
Well, you can now. Look at me.
Duchess.
I do, my child, and I see a young woman in love.
Loveday.
(Shaking herself.) Ooh!
Duchess.
Never mind, my dear. He is a personable young man enough. There are no available Dukes, Earls or Marquises I can recommend at present and I believe in people marrying for love. I have seen too much of the other thing. So what can I do for you?
Loveday.
You know quite well. I only asked you, begged you, to make the Prime Minister listen to him.
Duchess.
Oh, the poor man! When he comes here for an hour it is for relaxation and quiet. He looks to me toprotecthim from Cranks, not to stuff them down his throat.
Loveday.
(Emphatically.) Gordon isnota crank.
Duchess.
All cranks have emphatic relatives who testify ardently to their sanity.
Loveday.
I’mnothis relative.
Duchess.
Hoity-toity.
Loveday.
(Smiling.) That doesn’t react with me any longer. (Coaxing.) Come now, be anangeland introduce Gordon to the Prime Minister. Don’t say anything about your suspicions that he is a crank. Just say he is a nice young man from New Zealand.
Duchess.
And what am I to say about you? Or are you dying to be sacrificed on the altar of friendship and have nothing said about you?
Loveday.
Oh, yes.
Duchess.
You don’t insist on an introduction too?
Loveday.
No. I ask only one introduction. Promisethat.
Duchess.
Very well.
Loveday.
You darling!
Duchess.
But I will use the introduction for you, not the man. The Prime Minister likes young girls if they are at all good looking, and I think one may call you that.
Loveday.
Oh, you mustn’t! Iwon’tbe introduced.
Duchess.
What! You refuse to be introduced to the Prime Minister?
Loveday.
(Punching a cushion.) I do. I do absolutely. That one introduction is for Gordon. Youpromisedone; and Gordon is to have it.
(The Rev. Dr. Varlie, separating himself from the guests, has strolled into the alcove.)
Duchess.
Well, I suppose it must be.
Loveday.
You are adear.
Duchess.
But for your purpose, it is not the Prime Minister you want first of all. There is another Cabinet Minister whose word in the Prime Minister’s ear would be priceless.
Loveday.
Oh! Thenpleaseintroduce Gordon to him first!
Duchess.
He’s very amiable.
Loveday.
Splendid. Is he here to-night?
Duchess.
Yes. Go and fetch your phenomenon. If you two are to be found here when wanted. I’ll either send for you or stroll this way with him if I can.
Loveday.
Thanksawfully! (Goes through curtains, to drawing-room beyond.)
(The Rev. Dr. Varlieadvances. He has a considerable beard, and wears clerical garb. He politely presents himself to the Duchess. She greets him without enthusiasm.)
Duchess.
Oh, Dr. Chapman, I’m glad you found time to come for a little relaxation.
Varlie.
Oh, dear lady. I take no relaxation in these sad times. But I wanted a word with you before your next Committee for the relief of the homeless Serbians. As you know, the American people have been stirred to the depths, and out of the fulness of their hearts they have sentmeto join my ministrations with yours. As you well know, these weeks past I have put my back into it.
Duchess.
Very good of you I’m sure. We can’t have too much help.Practicalhelp.
Varlie.
At the last Committee Meeting I opined that a cheque would not be out of place in your hands, Duchess.
Duchess.
Never.
Varlie.
(Taking out his pocket book.) Waal, my flock answered my prayers, and sent this to me for you. If you could sign the receipt yourself, Duchess, it would be like placing seed in fertile ground. I know your secretary does such routine work for you, Duchess, and that’s why I took this chance of handing it to you myself.
Duchess.
Of course I’ll sign the receipt if you like. Is that all?
Varlie.
Waal, the other business will do when we meet at the next Committee.
Duchess.
(Moving off, back of stage.) Then come along with me, and I’ll find you an interesting girl or two to entertain you. You just missed one as you came in.
Varlie.
So I divined from her earnestness. A lovely type.
(They go out together. In a momentLovedayandGordonreturn.)
Loveday.
So we are to sitheretill she comes or sends for you.
Gordon.
(Gratefully.) Isay. You do work miracles.
Loveday.
It is the Duchess who will do that. Isn’t she a dear?
Gordon.
She terrifies me rather.
Loveday.
For moments, just at times, she terrifies me. But all the safe times in between I know she is a dear.
Gordon.
I say, I’m nervous you know.
Loveday.
Oh,don’tbe! You will only have a few minutes this time: just to make a good impression. If you do that then the Minister may give you a serious interview later.
Gordon.
I’m wretchedly nervous. Is he, is heshortwith people?
Loveday.
He likes people to be short with him! He is dreadfully bored by long-winded cranks of course.
Gordon.
I say, what do you think? (Pulls out some papers from his pocket.) I thought of wording Clause 29 of the suggested constitution as follows: “The Super-Parliament is to have the power of prohibiting the manufacture ofanythingwhich in its opinion constitutes a menace to the Peace of the world: with power toinflict the death penalty on all concerned in any infringement of its prohibition in any country.”
Loveday.
Yes. I think that is good. Coupled with the other clauses that makes it safer.
Gordon.
I hope the Prime Minister will see that. I must learn this clause off by heart now. Teach it to me, will you?
Loveday.
You don’t know the other clauses off by heart,doyou?
Gordon.
Yes, of course I learnt them. I couldn’treadthem to the Prime Minister, could I? And I’m so nervous, I’d muddle them up unless I just learn them off.
Loveday.
(Horrified.) You don’t intend tosay offall the thirty-three clauses of the suggested constitution to the Prime Minister at this first meeting, do you?
Gordon.
(Simply surprised.) Why, yes! I’m to tell him the ideas, aren’t I?
Loveday.
Good heavens! not in a block like that though. After you have made an impression on him you must give him these all typed out so that his secretaries and colleagues and everybody can make marginal notes on them and hash them up.
Gordon.
If I’m not to say the clauses I have learnt, what on earthamI to say?
Loveday.
Say you have an idea worth his serious attention—say—oh—whatever he makes youfeelwill reach his attention!
Gordon.
Good heavens. What a gamble!
Loveday.
Not a bit. The inspiration will come.
Gordon.
Youhave been my inspiration for so much of this.
Loveday.
No, no. I have only suggested a word here and there.
Gordon.
I owe you so much. How strange it is I should have met you the same day thatthe vision came to me. Next to my vision-spirit, you are the source of all the ideas worth anything in it.
Loveday.
Nonsense. Absolute nonsense. I simply had nothing concrete in my mind at first! It is you, you,youwho have put all the ideas into practical, living, useful shape.
Gordon.
ButIhad no concrete ideas at first!
Loveday.
Well,youevolved them out of your inner consciousness.
Gordon.
(Obstinately.) The vision, and you, gave me the ideas to work out.
Loveday.
(Almost irritably.) It’s sheernonsense, that old vision! The thoughts were yours, yours,yours! She only mumbled a little vaguetosh!
Gordon.
(Astonished.) Loveday!
Loveday.
Well, I’m tired of seeing you being so humble, and failing to realise how splendid you are, and how the credit of it is all yourown.
Gordon.
Loveday.—You don’t really think that?
Loveday.
I do.
Gordon.
(Whimsically.) I’m so accustomed to women thinking poorly of me—Nora—
Loveday.
(After a pause.) Does she—does she stillhurtyou, Gordon?
Gordon.
No I have waked from my foolish dream of love for her. She, she was too cruel—and besides—she, you know, you heard—she loved Robert.
Loveday.
(Joy showing in her face, which she tries to conceal.) Then you feel free.
Gordon.
Yes. Thank God I’m free from love of any earthly woman.
(Loveday’sface falls.)
Gordon.
Youmake most women look small, and then—then—anyway, I’m not the type of man such a woman as I could love now,would look at. Thank God, no mortal woman can rack my heart. My vision Queen has my heart and my dreams.
(Lovedaylooks bright—then a little mischievous.Varliereturns, strolling round the room, unnoticed by them. He starts somewhat at seeing them talking together so deeply and nods as if recognising something and saying “ha ha” to himself. He studies the angle of the room and places himself back of the piano, turning towards the wall and pretending to examine a picture. MeanwhileLovedayandGordoncontinue, unaware, to talk.)
Loveday.
Spiritsdon’tappear. She must have been a real woman.
Gordon.
Impossible.
Loveday.
But a spirit ismoreimpossible! (triumphantly). So you see, every single bit of credit for it is yours.
Gordon.
Yours.
(Both laughing say together “yours.”)
(From back of stage, enterCabinet Ministerwith theDuchess.The Ministeris old, benign and white haired, with a long white beard. A plain clothes detective [Smithers] in evening dress follows him at a little distance and hovers near the curtains at the back.)
Minister.
Ah! I remembered that this alcove is generally nice and quiet. You are a good hostess, my dear.
(The Duchessthrows a comical look at the back of the sofa whereGordonandLovedayare sitting.)
Duchess.
I’m gladyouthink so! It isn’t easy to satisfy different people at the same time.
Minister.
All I ask is a quiet cup of coffee with you, my dear. Can we have some coffee here, by the way?
Duchess.
Of course. (Slips quickly to wall and rings.) It will be here directly.
Minister.
And your coffee is good. Ah, it reminds me of Paris in the late seventies—when I was a young man. But you didn’t know Paris in the late seventies I expect? No, no, of course not.
(Maidin smart uniform, waistcoat, brass buttons, enters from entrance right, going quickly up to theDuchess, who whispers “coffee at once, here.”Maidgoes out.)
Minister.
Paris in the seventies was an adventure.
Duchess.
Any city is an adventure to the right man.
(Maidenters with coffee,Ministerhelps himself to sugar and cream, stands centre of stage holding it in his hand.)
Minister.
That’s true. You are a witty woman, my dear. And that’s a thing not often come by now-a-days.
Duchess.
Modern women are all clever, and cleverness kills wit as a magnifying glass kills a complexion.
Minister.
Good, good.
(LovedayandGordon, observing their nearness, rise and stand a little way off. TheDuchesssignals imperiously toLoveday, but she makes a determined grimace and slips round the left side of the sofa. As she leavesGordonshe whispers “The great moment is coming—Good Luck.”Gordonstands hesitating. TheDuchesssigns to him to come forward.)
Duchess.
Ah,hereis the young man of whom I spoke to you. May I introduce Mr. Hyde? You said you could endure a chat with him. He wants your influence with the Prime Minister you know. I tell himyouare even more important.
Minister.
Flatterer!
(Lovedaybehind the group waves her hand joyously.Hydelooks relieved and very pleased.)
Duchess.
The power behind the throne, Mr. Hyde.
Minister.
(Kindly.) Ah, how do you do, Mr. Hyde.
(Shakes hands after carefully turning and laying down his coffee cup on the corner of the piano behind him, placing the cup so that it is on the audience side of the piano.Varlie, who is still standing with his back to the group, looking at the picture above the piano, notes this quickly and keenly. He is seen by the audience to be listening intently.)
Minister.
How do you do. You come from Australia I believe?
Gordon.
New Zealand, Sir.
Minister.
New Zealand, yes, yes. A thousand miles by sea from the nearest port in Australia.
Gordon.
Yes, Sir.
Minister.
I remember that because I was there myself when I was a young man and very much it surprised me to be sure. I had always pictured New Zealand as being to Australia like England to the Continent. Yes, yes. A thousand miles away. Just think what a difference it would make, ifEnglandwere a thousand miles from France at this present moment.
Gordon.
Yes indeed, Sir.
Minister.
So it is very fine of you young New Zealanders to join in with us all the way you do. Very fine.
(Lovedaycrosses to right of stage and looks curiously atVarliebut without recognition.)
Gordon.
We are Britons all, Sir.
Minister.
Yes, yes. We are all fighting shoulder to shoulder, though I expect the realisation of it has hardly touched you yet.
Gordon.
My only brother was killed a few weeks ago in Gallipoli, Sir.
Minister.
Dear, dear. A sad business that. I’m sorry for that, my lad.
Gordon.
(Beginning to be desperate.) And that is one reason why, Sir, I am so anxious to ask your help for my scheme ofinternational—
(Varliemeanwhile has very quietly slipped round so as to be on the front of the piano, within reach of coffee cup.)
Minister.
(Putting up his hand and gently interrupting.) Now don’t talk about schemes, young man. This is my recreation hour. Seeing you carries me back to when I was a young chap myself. My father was one of the old school and sent me round the world to finish my education.
(Varlie’sright cheek now facesLoveday, she gazes at it, starts with amazed half recognition, for the top half of the scar is visible.)
Minister.
I remember very well going to New Zealand—and seeing its pink and white terraces. Ah! They were wonderful, wonderful.
Gordon.
They must have been, Sir (his heart beginning to sink into his boots).
Minister.
Yes, of course. They were destroyed before you could have seen them. A terrible volcanic outburst that! Incredible. Why those great pink and white terraces looked as though no power on earth could destroy them. So beautiful they were too! So beautiful. Like coloured marble that had been spun into lace cascades bymagicians. Well, well,sic transit gloria mundi! (He shakesGordon’shand.) I’m glad to have had this little talk with you, Mr. Hyde. These pleasant meetings help to link up the Empire. Good-bye. Good Luck.
(Meanwhile, through the last part of this conversation,Varliehas taken out the Green Jade Carving, seen in Act II., from his pocket.Lovedayrecognises it and shows tense anxiety and suppressed excitement.Varlieglances stealthily round the room, and sees that no one is looking at him, forLovedaypretends not to see him; she then turns her head just in time to see him drop a drop of the poison into the coffee cup on the piano, and quickly to turn away, his back to the group, and go to another picture, hanging down right front of the piano.Varliecalmly pretends to be absorbed in examining the picture.Lovedayis for a moment weak with amazement and anxiety, and is evidently hesitating as to what course to follow, by the time theMinistersays, “Good-bye, good luck.”)
Gordon.
Good-bye, Sir, thank you. (Desperate.) And may I come and see you in office hours about my scheme? It is very important, it—is a series of clauses for an international arrangement which will wipe German Militarism and all other militarism off the earth—it—
Minister.
If youmustsend it—and I really ask you not to, I am deluged with other people’s ideas—if youmustsend it, my secretary will attend to it. Good-bye.
(Gordonsteps back very dejected. TheMinisterturns, takes up his coffee cup and says a word to theDuchess.)
Minister.
And now for our chat, my dear.
(He raises the coffee cup, about to drink slowly.Lovedaysprings forward and dashes the cup from his hand, spilling the coffee.[Note.—Better have a brown carpet so that the successive stains of a long run won’t show.]TheDuchessandMinisterlook amazed.)
Loveday.
(Panting but quietly.) That man, that man there!
(Points atVarlie, who is now in the corner between the footlights, the piano, and theMinister’sgroup. Very unostentatiously he digs the jade piece into the earth of pot and has barely covered it by this time.)
Hold him, Gordon, hold him.
(Gordonliterally hurls himself onVarlieand, before he has time to turn, has his two arms pinned from behind. The two men struggle. TheMinisterlooks bewildered. Hearing the struggle the evening-dress-clad detective near the curtains comes forward hurriedly and helpsGordon. They succeed in holdingVarlie.)
Duchess.
For God’s sake don’t have a scene in public.
(She runs across room and rings repeatedly.Maidcomes in by door right.)
Duchess.
(ToMaid.) Draw those curtainsinstantlyand stand by them. Don’t let anyone in, not anyone unless I tell you.
(TheMaidhurries to obey and draws the heavy velvet curtains, shutting off the alcove from the main drawing room and stations herself by them.)
Minister.
Dear, dear, whatisthis all about! Why it is a clergyman! isn’t it? What on earth are they handling a clergyman in this fashion for? Why, Smithers man, you are to guard me, not to assist a young ruffian in mauling a reverend gentleman.
Smithers.
(Puzzled, half relaxing hold onVarlie) I’m sure, Sir, I don’tknow—
Loveday.
Don’t,don’tleave him! For God’s sake hold him.
Duchess.
Whaton earthis this outrageous fracas about? Loveday, I’mamazed! The Rev. Dr. Chapman is an American whom I know and respect. Let him go at once, Smithers. And you, Mr. Hyde, you outrageous humbug!
Loveday.
Don’t! (She goes quickly up toVarlie, pulls his beard with one hand, and it comes off.)
(Amazement and consternation of all.)
Loveday.
Yes, I thought so! Look, Gordon, see that scar on his cheek, that little triangular red scar! But anyway you must know his face now, it isVarlie!
Varlie.
How the devil—What does all this mean! You attack the Minister of Peace! I am the Rev. Dr. Chapman, as you well know, Duchess. If I choose to wear a false beard till my own grows because I desire to follow John the Baptist’s example, though alas late in life, isthatany crime? Why don’t you go round among your guests and arrest the ladies with false hair.Theyintend to attract and deceive while I but symbolise my belief in the Nazarene vows.
(He seems to be making an impression on theDuchessand theMinister.)
Loveday.
No! Hold him, he’s dangerous. Hold him till I can tell you all!
Gordon.
Sure, Loveday,I’llhold him, even if Mr. Smithers won’t.
Loveday.
Oh, but you both must. Listen. The reason I spilt the coffee was that he had put poison in it!
Minister.Duchess.
(Incredulous.) Poison? Poison!
Loveday.
Yes, poison. A deadly, secret poison, made from the karaka nut. It would never have been detected, never! A few hours later you would just have had a stroke and died! Of course he knows how dreadfully important you are.
Minister.Duchess.
Bless my soul. Are you raving or am I dreaming, young lady. How do you know this—this amazing thing? Fiddlesticks—tush—but, good God.
Loveday.
I saw him do it.
Varlie-Chapman.
(Putting on a superior air.) Can you really evenlistento such an absurd charge against one of my cloth?
Loveday.
I can prove it. You will find on him a green carved jade hei-tiki, it has a secret recess in which the poison was. It must be on him. He couldn’t swallow it, it’s too big. Search him!
Varlie-Chapman.
(Calmly.) Search me, officer—if you are an officer—to satisfy the hysterical young lady and settle this absurd business once and for all.
Loveday.
Don’t trust him. Have another man in to help. I charge him with attempted murder you know, murder of the most important Cabinet Minister.
Duchess.
Oh, Loveday, this is too awful (She sits.)
Minister.
I feel a bit shaken, perhaps I may sit too.
Smithers.
This is serious you know. It had better be looked into if you’ll excuse me, sir. I have some of my men outside. If you would ring three times quickly, and then twice more, my men will come in. (Loveday rushes to the bell and does so.) Thank you, Miss.
Varlie.
Waal, if this isn’t high comedy! Butmostunseemly! And to think that it is inyourhouse, Duchess, that I should be served up with this nice little surprise party.
(Enter two stalwart plain clothes men from door on right.)
Smithers.
Hold this gentleman firmly while we search his pockets. Excuse me, sir, but I think I ought to satisfy myself.
Duchess.
I’m terribly distressed. I don’t know what to think. I have known Loveday since she was six and had freckles on her nose, and she hasneverbeen hysterical.
Loveday.
(Quietly.) I’m not hysterical now there are two such nice strong men to hold Mr. Varlie.
Minister.
(Pathetically.)CouldI have some coffee do you think, my dear? I was really needing it before——
Duchess.
Of course. This awful fracas must have exhausted you.
Minister.