If a well known animal you behead,Another one you will have instead.Fox (f-ox).
If a well known animal you behead,Another one you will have instead.Fox (f-ox).
If a well known animal you behead,Another one you will have instead.Fox (f-ox).
If a well known animal you behead,
Another one you will have instead.
Fox (f-ox).
Why is a drunken Irishman like a sentinel going his rounds? He is pat-rolling.
Why is a Zulu belle like a prophet of old? She has not much on’er in her own country.
Why is a blacksmith like a safe steed? Because one is a horse-shoer, and the other is a sure horse.
When giving invitations to a dancing party what single word will tell the hour to begin dancing? At ten-dance (attendance).
What is the greatest physical feat ever performed? Wheeling, West Virginia, on the Ohio.
What does an envelope say when it is licked? Just shuts up and says nothing about it.
Why is a pretty girl like an excellent mirror? She’s a good looking lass.
When is an army totally destroyed? When the soldiers are all in quarters.
Why is too much whisky and champagne like the flowers that bloom in the spring? Because they make the nose gay (nosegay).
Why is a postman in danger of losing his way? Because he is guided by the directions of strangers.
What killed Joan of Arc? Too much hot stake.
What is the difference between a watchmaker and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
Why are lawyers the most intemperate people? Because they are continually practicing at the bar.
What word of four syllables represents Sin riding on a little animal? Sin-on-a-mouse (Synonymous.)
What motive had the inventor of railways in view! A loco-motive.
With what do the mermaids tie up their hair? With a marine band.
What tree bears the most fruit to market? The axle tree.
What is the sharpest instrument mentioned in the Bible? The Acts (axe) of the Apostles.
Why is a banker’s clerk necessarily well informed? Because he is continually taking notes.
Use me well and I am everybody; scratch my back and I am nobody. A looking-glass.
What great Scotchman would you name if a footman knocked at the door? John Knox.
Why is a billiard maker like a stage prompter? Because he gives the players a cue.
Why is the sculptor Powers a great swindler? Because he chiseled the Greek slave out of her clothes.
Why is the bank of England like a thrush? It often changes its notes.
What is it, which the man that made it does not need, the man who buys it does not use for himself, and the person that uses it does not know it? A coffin.
Why are convicts like a pack of cards? Because there is a knave in every suit.
When is a fact like a universal patent? When it is patent to “all.”
What kind of a swell luncheon would hardly be considered a grand affair? A luncheon of dried apples and warm water, which is really a swell affair.
Why is a young lady like a promissory note? Because she ought to be settled when she arrives at maturity.
What is that which always goes with its head downward? A nail in your shoe.
Why is a man just put in prison like a boat full of water? Because he wants bailing out.
What sort of a face does an auctioneer like best? One that is for bidding.
Why should a poor salesman be put in the hands of a potter? Because he is very poor clay and should be fired.
Why is an account book like a statuary shop? It is full of figures.
When a young man calls upon his sweetheart what should he carry with him? Affection in his heart, perfection in his manners, and confections in his pockets.
What is that which Adam never saw, never possessed, yet left two to each of his children? Parents.
When may a base-ball nine say its “cake is all dough”? When it does not have a good batter.
Why is it better to lose an arm than a leg? Because when you lose a leg you lose something to boot.
What key in music will make a good officer? A sharp major.
Why were the Jews of old like bad debts? Because they killed the prophets (profits).
What is political economy? Splitting your vote.
What makes everybody sick but those that swallow it? Flattery.
What jury of twelve tries us for a year? The twelve months; they all try us.
What is that which never flies except when its wings are broken? An army.
What is the difference between a very fascinating young lady and her watch? The watch makes one remember the hours, and the young lady makes one forget them.
Why is an egg like a colt? Because it is not fit for use until it is broken.
Why is a threadbare garment like a man who was up late at the ball? Because both look worn out when they lose their nap.
What bridge creates the most anxiety? A suspension bridge.
When does a cook break the game law? When she poaches eggs.
Why is a cigar-loving man like a tallow candle? Because he smokes when he is going out.
What way of showing wrath has a tea kettle? It sings sweetest when it is hottest.
Why do you always make a mistake when you put on your slipper? Because you put your foot in it.
Why is a lucky gambler an agreeable fellow? Because he has such winning ways.
Why is the leading horse in a wagon team like the acceptor of a bill? Because he’s the end horse, sir (endorser).
What money brings the most substantial interest? Matri-mony.
What is a remarkable fact when the Chinese actor loses his head? He is pretty sure to lose his cue at the same time.
Why, when you paint a man’s portrait, may you be described as stepping into his shoes? Because you make his feet-yours (features).
Why is the inside of everything mysterious? Because we cannot make it out.
Why is the Prince of Wales musing on his mother’s government like a rainbow? Because it’s the son’s reflection on a steady reign.