THE NEW MAGNETICHEALER
THE NEW MAGNETIC HEALER
Thetown had been literally flooded that year with quacks and fakers in the shape of men who either claimed to be able to cure disease in any form, or professed to have some scheme by which men and women could get rich in two weeks. It always happened, however, that all those who fell victims to the wiles of the last-named gentlemen, were poorer, when the time expired, by a few, and sometimes a good many, dollars.
Bollinger, however, eclipsed them all, both in his remunerations and in his methods. He came towards the close of the year, and when he went away, he had enraged the people so, that they shut the city’s gates to all magnetic healers who tried in the future to locate in that town.
Almost all of his class wore long, flowing gowns and beards; but not so with Bollinger.He wore a suit of the latest style and cut, and was clean-shaven. Before he had been in the town three days all the girls had fallen in love with him. But Bollinger was an extremely modest young man who had no intention of falling in love with any of the enamored young ladies—at least not during the first week.
Miss Camilla Knight was away when Bollinger arrived in the town, and did not return until he had been there nearly a week. It was when she returned that Bollinger discovered that being single had its disadvantages. He made enquiries, and found out that Camilla lived alone with her father, who, besides being a widower, was a rough and austere man; one who would brook no insult, intentional or otherwise, and woe betide the man who dared to insult Papa Knight by asking him for his daughter. There were many young men in the town who could show you the exact spot that they landed upon after having been kicked off the veranda of the Knight home, simply because they had had the audacity to ask for Camilla’s hand, and, incidentally, the rest of her.
Camilla had come home ill, and the doctors had given up hope of saving her life. When Bollinger heard this he hung up a sign which read, “Doctor John Bollinger, Magnetic Healer.” The town smiled. So this young man who had been the cause of so much speculationas to what his business was, had proven to be a mere magnetic healer. With one accord they resolved not to patronize him. Camilla’s father saw “Dr.” Bollinger’s advertisement in one of the town papers, and also an editorial in another, urging the people not to go to him. He showed the paper to Camilla, who urged her father to try him.
“He can’t do any harm, and he may do some good,” soliloquized Papa Knight; “and I’ll be hanged if I’ll not do anything because an old editor tells me not to.” So he sent for Bollinger.
Mr. Knight was a little old-fashioned, and his ideas of magnetic healers were somewhat behind the time. It was no wonder, therefore, that he was surprised when an up-to-date young man handed him a card which read, “John Bollinger, Magnetic Healer.”
“Be you the doctor?” he asked, in surprise.
“I be,” the other replied, with assumed gravity.
“Humph! You don’t look like you had enough magnetic power to cure a fly.”
“Nevertheless I have enough to heal your daughter.”
“How did you know that it was my daughter who was ill?” the astonished father asked. “You have only just arrived, haven’t you?”
“I found out it was your daughter who wasill, by my magnetic power,” Bollinger answered, evading the last question.
“If that don’t beat all!” ejaculated the old man.
“Allow me to see your daughter,” asked the healer.
The old man led the way to Camilla’s room and said to his daughter, “Here’s that young healer you were so anxious to have come and see you.” He asked her a few simple questions as to where she felt the pain, and the like, and was told that the pain was in her heart. Taking a small pad from his pocket he turned to the old man and said, “Do you read?”
“Printing, but not writing,” was the answer.
“Does your daughter read?”
“Of course she does; do you think you are the only one who has had an edication? Why don’t you make use of your magnetic power and quit asking so many questions?”
Bollinger did not answerhisquestion, but continued to write on the pad. Tearing off the sheet, he handed it to Camilla and said, “Read this to yourself twenty times an hour. But remember! yourself. If you read it aloud, the spell will be broken and I shall be unable to do anything for you. I will come tomorrow and see if you are any better. Good morning.” And he picked up his hat and left the room. Papa Knight followed him to the front doorand said, “How much do I owe you for today’s work?”
“I prefer to collect my fee all at once,” the doctor replied.
“How much will that be?”
“It is impossible for me to tell at present. If the cure fails, I do not want a cent; if it works—but we will talk of the pay later.”
“Queer fellow that,” said the old man to himself as the healer left the house. “He’s different from all the other magnetic healers I’ve heard of before. Most of them want their money before they begin to work, but this one wants to cure before he gets his pay.”
Meanwhile Camilla was reading her cure not twenty times an hour, but sixty: “Dear Camilla, I love you. Won’t you be mine? Answer me when I come tomorrow,” she read, and she did not wait to say “Yes” the first time to Bollinger himself, but said “Yes” every time she read it.
Dr. Bollinger went to visit his patient very early the next morning to see how the “cure” had worked. Papa Knight met him at the door, his face all aglow with smiles. “By George!” he said, “but you are a wonder. Why! Camilla is as pert as a cricket this morning. She wanted to get up and dress, but I wouldn’t let her. I was afraid it might harm her.”
“Why didn’t you? It would not have done her any harm.”
“I’ll tell her now, if you want me to.”
“Never mind. I am anxious to complete the cure. It is just begun. Let us go to Cam—to Miss Knight.”
They went to the room and the first question Bollinger asked was, “If anyone was to ask you if the cure was a success, what would you say?”
“I would say, ‘Yes’,” she replied.
“And do you say ‘Yes’ to the question the cure asked?”
“Yes,” was the response.
Bollinger must have forgotten where he was, and who was present with him, for he lifted Camilla from her bed, and kissed her again and again.
“See here, young man,” said Papa Knight when he had recovered from his astonishment. “What in thunder do you mean?”
“This is a part of the cure,” Bollinger answered, “and you must not interrupt.”
“Take those kinds of cures somewhere else, you rascal; I don’t want any of them.”
“Neither do I want to give any of them to you,” Bollinger answered.
“Git out of my house!” roared the old man. “Git!”
“Before I go, allow me to tell you something which will no doubt surprise you. I love yourdaughter; she, in turn, loves me. Have we your permission to get married?”
Force of habit is strong, and, for answer, Papa Knight opened the door leading to the veranda, and prepared to treat Bollinger as he had treated many others who had asked him a similar question. But Bollinger was too quick for him. He caught the old man up as if he were a child, and placed him upon a chair.
“I’m determined to have your daughter, Mr. Knight, cost what it may. Will you give her to me, or shall I have to take recourse to my magnetic power to get what I want?”
“Do you want to go with this young upstart, Camilla?” her father asked.
“He is not an upstart,” she said, stoutly.
“Don’t contradict! Answer my question: Do you want to go with this young fellow?”
“Yes.”
“Then go; I wash my hands clean of you. Git!” he shouted.
And they “got.”
“Bollinger,” said a young man to the magnetic healer-of-a-day as they were seated in the former’s comfortable rooms in a hotel, “I heard today that you at one time practiced magnetic healing. Is that true?”
Bollinger glanced at his wife and both broke out into peals of laughter. When they finallycalmed down, Bollinger asked, “And did your informer tell you who my first patient was?”
“Your wife,” was the laconic answer. Mr. and Mrs. Bollinger laughed again.
“I think you might tell me what the joke is,” the young man said.
“Well,” began Bollinger, “I was spending my vacation in Logansport one summer, where I met Mrs. Bollinger. She had come to see an aunt who lived near my hotel, and we saw a good deal of each other. By dint of many enquiries, I found out that her father was a tough customer, so I laid my plans accordingly. You see, I had fallen in love with the fair Camilla, and I could not rest until she was mine. Upon reaching home, Miss Knight was to pretend that she was ill. I was to bribe the old country doctor to declare that Camilla was beyond all hope of recovery. Then I was to step in, and, with my magnetic power, cure her, and, out of sheer gratitude, Papa Knight would give her to me. But when I did cure his daughter’s malady, like old Pharaoh, he hardened his heart, and instead of giving me his daughter he wanted to give me a kick. I threatened him with my magnetic power, and he finally gave her to me. There’s the story of the time when I practiced magnetic healing. Are you satisfied?” and, looking at Mrs. Bollinger, he burst into another roar of laughter, but this time his guest joined him, for he was thinking that the little ruse would bear repeating.