"In the morning—Chil'len, in the morning—"
"In the morning—Chil'len, in the morning—"
I had a great heartbreak, and sat down and cried behind my sugarplums.
I can bear to think of it all now. There were years when I could not.
After this entertainment was over, and much more stupid ones had been given among polished people at the house, and the New Year had swept in upon us with its fresh breeze of lifeand congratulations, the winter and Miss Pinshon settled down for unbroken sway.
I had little to help me during those months from abroad. That is, I had nothing. My father wrote seldom. My mother's letters had small comfort for me. They said that papa's health mended slowly—was very delicate—he could not bear much exertion—his head would not endure any excitement. They were trying constant changes of scene and air. They were at Spa, at Paris, at Florence, at Vevay, in the Pyrenees; not staying long anywhere. The physicians talked of a long sea voyage. From all which I gradually brought down my hopes into smaller and smaller compass; till finally I packed them up and stowed them away in the hidden furthermost corner of my heart, only to be brought out and looked at when there should be occasion. Spring came without the least prospect that such occasion would be given me soon. My father and mother were making preparation to journey in Norway; and already there was talk of a third winter in Egypt! It was hoped that all these changes were not without some slow and certain effect in the way of improvement. I think on me they had another sort of effect.
Spring as usual drove us away from Magnolia. This summer was spent with my Aunt Gary at various pleasant and cool up-country places, where hills were, and brooks, and sweet air, and flowers, and where I might have found much to enjoy. But always Miss Pinshon was with me, and the quiet and freedom of these places, with the comparative cool climate, made it possible for her to carry on all her schemes for my improvement just as steadily as though we had been at Magnolia. And I had not Darry and my pony, which indeed, the latter had been ofsmall use to me this year; and I had not my band of friends on the Sunday evening; and even my own maid Margaret Aunt Gary had chosen to leave behind. Miss Pinshon's reign was absolute. I think some of the Medusa properties Preston used to talk about must have had their effect upon me at this time. I remember little of all that summer, save the work for Miss Pinshon, and the walks with Miss Pinshon, and a general impression of those black eyes and inflexible voice, and mathematics and dates, and a dull round of lesson getting. Not knowledge getting—that would have been quite another affair. I seemed to be all the while putting up a scaffolding, and never coming to work on the actual Temple of Learning itself. I know we were in beautiful regions that summer, but my recollection is not of them but of rows of figures; and of a very grave, I think dull, and very quiet little personage, who went about like a mouse for silentness, and gave no trouble to anybody excepting only to herself.
The next winter passed as the winter before had done, only I had no Christmas entertainment. My father and mother were in Egypt—perhaps he did not think of it. Perhaps he did not feel that he could afford it. Perhaps my aunt and the overseer had severally made representations to which my father thought it best to listen. I had no festivities at any rate for my poor coloured people; and it made my own holidays a very shaded thing.
I found, however, this winter one source of amusement, and in a measure, of comfort. In the bookcases which held my grandfather's library, there was a pretty large collection of books of travel. I wanted to know just then about Egypt, that I might the better in imagination follow my father and mother. I searchedthe shelves for Egypt, and was lucky enough to light upon several works of authority and then recent observation. I feasted on these. I began in the middle, then very soon went back to the beginning, and read delightedly, carefully, patiently, through every detail and discussion in which the various authors indulged. Then I turned all their pictures into living panorama; for I fancied my father and mother in every place, looking at every wonder they described; and I enjoyed not merely what they described, but my father's and mother's enjoyment of it. This was a rare delight to me. My favourite place was the corner of the study fire, at dusk, when lessons and tiresome walks for the day were done, and Miss Pinshon was taking her ease elsewhere in some other way. I had the fire made up to burn brightly, and pine knots at hand to throw on if wanted; and with the illumination dancing all over my page, I went off to regions of enchantment, pleasant to me beyond any fairy tale. I never cared much for things that were not true. No chambers of Arabian fancy could have had the fascination for me of those old Egyptian halls, nor all the marvels of magic entranced me like the wonder-working hand of time. Those books made my comfort and my diversion all the winter. For I was not a galloping reader; I went patiently through every page; and the volumes were many enough and interesting enough to last me long. I dreamed under the Sphynx; I wandered over the pyramids; no chamber nor nook escaped me; I could have guided a traveller—in imagination. I knew the prospect from the top, though I never wrote my name there. It seemed to me thatthatwas barbarism. I sailed up the Nile—delightful journeys on board the Nile boats—forgetting Miss Pinshon and mathematics, except when I rather pitied the ancient Egyptians for being so devotedto the latter; forgetting Magnolia, and all the home things I could not do and would have liked to do; forgetting everything, and rapt in the enjoyment of tropical airs, and Eastern skies; hearing the plash of water from the everlastingshadoof, and watching the tints and colours on the ranges of hills bordering the Nile valley. Allmyhills were green; the hues of those others were enough of themselves to make an enchanted land. Still more, as I stopped at the various old temples along the way, my feeling of enchantment increased. I threaded the mazes of rubbish, and traced the plans of the ruins of Thebes, till I was at home in every part of them. I studied the hieroglyphics and the descriptions of the sculptures, till the names of Thothmes III., and Amunoph III., and Sethos and Rameses, Miamun and Rameses III., were as well known to me as the names of the friends whom I met every Sunday evening. I even studied out the old Egyptian mythology, the better to be able to understand the sculptures, as well as the character of those ancient people who wrought them, and to be able to fancy the sort of services that were celebrated by the priests in the splendid enclosures of the temples.
And then I went higher up the Nile, and watched at the uncovering of those wonderful colossal figures which stand, or sit, before the temple of Abou-Simbel. I tried to imagine what manner of things such large statues could be; I longed for one sight of the faces, said to be so superb, which showed what the great Rameses looked like. Mamma and papa could see them, that was a great joy. Belzoni was one of my prime favourites; and I liked particularly to travel with him, both there and at the Tombs of the Kings. There were some engravings scattered through the various volumes, and a good many plans,which helped me. I studied them faithfully, and got from them all they could give me.
In the Tombs of the Kings, my childish imagination found, I think, its highest point of revelling and delight. Those were something stranger, more wonderful, and more splendid, even than Abou-Simbel and Karnak. Many an evening, while the firelight from a Southern pine knot danced on my page, I was gone on the wings of fancy thousands of miles away; and went with discoverers or explorers up and down the passages and halls and staircases and chambers, to which the entrance is fromBiban el Malook. I wandered over the empty sarcophagi; held my breath at the pit's sides; and was never tired of going over the scenes and sculptures done in such brilliant colours upon those white walls. Once in there, I quite forgot that mamma and papa could see them; I was so busy seeing them myself.
This amusement of mine was one which nobody interfered with, and it lasted, as I said, all winter. All the winter my father and mother were in Egypt. When spring came, I began to look with trembling eagerness for a letter that should say they would turn now homewards. I was disappointed. My father was so much better that his physicians were encouraged to continuing their travelling regimen; and the word came that it was thought best he should try a long sea voyage—he was going to China, my mother would go with him.
I think never in my life my spirits sank lower than they did when I heard this news. I was not strong nor very well, which might have been in part the reason. And I was dull-hearted to the last degree under the influence of Miss Pinshon's system of management. There was no power of reaction in me. It wasplain that I was failing; and my aunt interrupted the lessons, and took me again to watering-places at the North, from one to another, giving me as much change as possible. It was good for me to be taken off study, which Miss Pinshon had pressed and crowded during the winter. Sea bathing did me good, too; and the change of scene and habits was useful. I did not rise to the level of enjoying anything much; only the sea waves when I was in them; at other times I sat on the bank and watched the distant smokestack of a steamer going out, with an inexpressible longing and soreness of heart. Going where I would so like to go! But there was no word of that. And indeed it would not have been advisable to take me to China. I did think Egypt would not have been bad for me; but it was a thought which I kept shut up in the farthest stores of my heart.
The sea voyage however was delayed. My mother took sick, was very ill, and then unable to undertake the going to China. My father chose to wait for her; so the summer was spent by them in Switzerland and the autumn in Paris. With the first of the New Year they expected now to sail. It suddenly entered my Aunt Gary's head that it was a good time forherto see Paris; and she departed, taking Ransom with her, whom my father wished to place in a German university, and meantime in a French school. Preston had been placed at the Military Academy at West Point, my aunt thinking that it made a nice finishing of a gentleman's education, and would keep him out of mischief till he was grown to man's estate. I was left alone with Miss Pinshon to go back to Magnolia and take up my old life there.
AS my aunt set sail for the shores of Europe, and Miss Pinshon and I turned our faces towards Magnolia, I seemed to see before me a weary winter. I was alone now; there was nobody to take my part in small or great things; my governess would have her way. I was so much stronger now that no doubt she thought I could bear it. So it was. The full tale of studies and tasks was laid on me; and it lay on me from morning till night.
I had expected that. I had looked also for the comfort and refreshment of ministering to my poor friends in the kitchen on the Sunday evenings. I began as usual with them. But as the Sundays came round, I found now and then a gap or two in the circle; and the gaps as time went on did not fill up; or if they did they were succeeded by other gaps. My hearers grew fewer, instead of more; the fact was undoubted. Darry was always on the spot; but the two Jems not always, and Pete was not sure, and Eliza failed sometimes, and others; and this grewworse. Moreover, a certain grave and sad air replaced the enjoying, almost jocund, spirit of gladness which used to welcome me and listen to the reading and join in the prayers and raise the song. The singing was not less good than it used to be; but it fell oftener into the minor key, and then poured along with a steady, powerful volume, deepening and steadying as it went, which somehow swept over my heart like a wind from the desert. I could not well tell why, yet I felt it trouble me; sometimes my heart trembled with the thrill of those sweet and solemn vibrations. I fancied that Darry's prayer had a somewhat different atmosphere from the old. Yet when I once or twice asked Margaret the next morning why such and such a one had not been at the reading, she gave me a careless answer, that she supposed Mr. Edwards had found something for them to do.
"But at night, Margaret?" I said. "Mr. Edwards cannot keep them at work at night."
To which she made no answer; and I was for some reason unwilling to press the matter. But things went on, not getting better but worse until I could not bear it. I watched my opportunity and got Maria alone.
"What is the matter," I asked, "that the people do not come on Sunday evening as they used? Are they tired of the reading, Maria?"
"I 'spect dey's as tired as a fish mus' be of de water," said Maria. She had a fine specimen under her hand at the moment, which I suppose suggested the figure.
"Then why do they not come as usual, Maria? there were only a few last night."
"Dere was so few, it was lonesome," said Maria.
"Then what is the reason?"
"Dere is more reasons for t'ings, den Maria can make out," she said thoughtfully. "Mebbe it's to make 'em love de priv'lege mo'."
"But what keeps them away, Maria? what hinders?"
"Chile, de Lord hab His angels, and de debil he hab his ministers; and dey takes all sorts o' shapes, de angels and de ministers too. I reckon dere's some work o' dat sort goin' on."
Maria spoke in a sort of sententious wisdom which did not satisfy me at all. I thought there was something behind.
"Who is doing the work, Maria?" I asked, after a minute.
"Miss Daisy," she said, "dere ain't no happenin' at all widout de Lord lets it happen. Dere is much contrairy in dis world—fact, dere is; but I 'spect de Lord make it up to us by'm by."
And she turned her face full upon me with a smile of so much quiet resting in that truth, that for just a moment it silenced me.
"Miss Daisy ain't looking quite so peart as she use to look," Maria went on. But I slipped away from that diversion.
"Maria," I said, "you don't tell me what is the matter; and I wish to know. What keeps the people, Pete, and Eliza, and all, from coming? What hinders them, Maria? I wish to know."
Maria busied herself with her fish for a minute, turning and washing it; then, without looking up from her work, she said, in a lowered tone,—
"'Spect de overseer, he don't hab no favour to such ways and meetin's."
"But withme?" I said; "and with Aunt Gary's leave?"
"'Spose he like to fix t'ings his own way," said Maria.
"Does he forbid them to come?" I asked.
"I reckon he do," she said, with a sigh.
Maria was very even-tempered, quiet, and wise, in her own way. Her sigh went through my heart. I stood thinking what plan I could take.
"De Lord is berry good, Miss Daisy," she said, cheerily, a moment after; "and dem dat love Him, dere can be no sort o' separation, no ways."
"Does Mr. Edwards forbid themallto come?" I asked. "For a good many do come."
"'Spect he don't like de meetin's, nohow," said Maria.
"But does he tell all the people they must not come?"
"I reckon he make it oncomfor'ble for 'em," Maria answered gravely. "Dere is no end o' de mean ways o' sich folks. Know he ain't no gentleman, nohow!"
"What does he do, Maria?" I said, trembling, yet unable to keep back the question.
"He can do what he please, Miss Daisy," Maria said, in the same grave way. "'Cept de Lord above, dere no one can hinder—now massa so fur. Bes' pray de Lord, and mebbe He sen' His angel, some time."
Maria's fish was ready for the kettle; some of the other servants came in, and I went with a heavy heart up the stairs. "Massa so fur"—yes! I knew that; and Mr. Edwards knew it too. Once sailed for China, and it would be long, long, before my cry for help, in the shape of one of my little letters, could reach him and get back the answer. My heart felt heavy as if I could die, while I slowly mounted the stairs to my room. It was not only that trouble was brought upon my poor friends, nor even that their short enjoyment of the word of life was hindered and interrupted; above this and worse than this was the sense ofwrongdone to these helpless people, and done by my ownfather and mother. This sense was something too bitter for a child of my years to bear; it crushed me for a time. Our people had a right to the Bible as great as mine; a right to dispose of themselves as true as my father's right to dispose of himself. Christ, my Lord, had died for them as well as for me; and here was my father—my father—practically saying that they should not hear of it, nor know the message He had sent to them. And if anything could have made this more bitter to me, it was the consciousness that thereasonof it all was that we might profit by it. Those unpaid hands wrought that our hands might be free to do nothing; those empty cabins were bare, in order that our houses might be full of every soft luxury; those unlettered minds were kept unlettered that the rarest of intellectual wealth might be poured into our treasury. I knew it. For I had written to my father once to beg his leave to establish schools, where the people on the plantation might be taught to read and write. He had sent a very kind answer, saying it was just like his little Daisy to wish such a thing, and that his wish was not against it, if it could be done; but that the laws of the State, and for wise reasons, forbade it. Greatly puzzled by this, I one day carried my puzzle to Preston. He laughed at me as usual, but at the same time explained that it would not be safe; for that if the slaves were allowed books and knowledge, they would soon not be content with their condition, and would be banding together to make themselves free. I knew all this, and I had been brooding over it; and now when the powerful hand of the overseer came in to hinder the little bit of good and comfort I was trying to give the people, my heart was set on fire with a sense of sorrow and wrong that, as I said, no child ought ever to know.
I think it made me ill. I could not eat. I studied like a machine, and went and came as Miss Pinshon bade me; all the while brooding by myself and turning over and over in my heart the furrows of thought which seemed at first to promise no harvest. Yet those furrows never break the soil for nothing. In due time the seed fell; and the fruit of a ripened purpose came to maturity.
I did not give up my Sunday readings, even although the number of my hearers grew scantier. As many as could, we met together to read and to pray, yes, and to sing. And I shall never in this world hear such singing again. One refrain comes back to me now—
"Oh, had I the wings of the morning—Oh, had I the wings of the morning—Oh, had I the wings of the morning—I'd fly to my Jesus away!"
"Oh, had I the wings of the morning—Oh, had I the wings of the morning—Oh, had I the wings of the morning—I'd fly to my Jesus away!"
I used to feel so too, as I listened and sometimes sung with them.
Meantime, all that I could do with my quarterly ten dollars, I did. And there was many a little bit of pleasure I could give; what with a tulip here and a cup of tea there, and a bright handkerchief, or a pair of shoes. Few of the people had spirit and cultivation enough to care for the flowers. But Maria cherished some red and white tulips and a hyacinth in her kitchen window, as if they had been her children; and to Darry a white rose-tree I had given him seemed almost to take the place of a familiar spirit. Even grave Pete, whom I only saw now and then this winter at my readings, nursed and tended and watched a bed of crocuses with endless delight and care. All the while, my Sunday circle of friends grew constantly fewer; and the songsthat were sung at our hindered meetings had a spirit in them, which seemed to me to speak of a deep-lying fire somewhere in the hearts of the singers, hidden, but always ready to burst into a blaze. Was it because the fire was burning in my own heart?
I met one of the two Jems in the pine-avenue one day. He greeted me with the pleasantest of broad smiles.
"Jem," said I, "why don't you come to the house Sunday evenings any more?"
"It don't 'pear practical, missie." Jem was given to large-sized words, when he could get hold of them.
"Mr. Edwards hinders you?"
"Mass' Ed'ards berry smart man, Miss Daisy. He want massa's work done up all jus' so."
"And he says that the prayer-meeting hinders the work, Jem?"
"Clar, missis, Mass' Ed'ards got long head; he see furder den me," Jem said, shaking his own head as if the whole thing were beyond him. I let him go. But a day or two after I attacked Margaret on the subject. She and Jem, I knew, were particular friends. Margaret was oracular and mysterious, and looked like a thundercloud. I got nothing from her, except an increase of uneasiness. I was afraid to go further in my inquiries; yet could not rest without. The house servants, I knew, would not be likely to tell me anything that would trouble me if they could help it. The only exception was mammy Theresa; who with all her love for me had either less tact, or had grown from long habit hardened to the state of things in which she had been brought up. From her, by a little cross questioning, I learned that Jem and others had been forbidden to come to the Sunday readings; and their disobeying had beenvisited with the lash, not once nor twice; till, as mammy Theresa said, "'peared like it warn't no use to try to be good agin de devil."
And papa was away on his voyage to China—away on the high seas, where no letter could reach him; and Mr. Edwards knew that. There was a fire in my heart now that burned with sharp pain. I felt as if it would burn my heart out. And now took shape and form one single aim and purpose, which became for years the foremost one of my life. It had been growing and gathering. I set it clear before me from this time.
Meanwhile, my mother's daughter was not willing to be entirely baffled by the overseer. I arranged with Darry that I would be at the cemetery-hill on all pleasant Sunday afternoons, and that all who wished to hear me read, or who wished to learn themselves, might meet me there. The Sunday afternoons were often pleasant that winter. I was constantly at my post; and many a one crept round to me from the quarters and made his way through the graves and the trees to where I sat by the iron railing. We were safe there. Nobody but me liked the place. Miss Pinshon and the overseer agreed in shunning it. And there was promise in the blue sky, and hope in the soft sunshine, and sympathy in the sweet rustle of the pine-leaves. Why not? Are they not all God's voices? And the words of the Book were very precious there, to me and many another. I was rather more left to myself of late. My governess gave me my lessons quite as assiduously as ever; but after lesson-time she seemed to have something else to take her attention. She did not walk often with me as the spring drew near; and my Sunday afternoons were absolutely unquestioned.
One day in March I had gone to my favourite place to get outa lesson. It was not Sunday afternoon, of course. I was tired with my day's work, or I was not very strong; for though I had work to do, the witcheries of nature prevailed with me to put down my book. The scent of pine-buds and flowers made the air sweet to smell, and the spring sun made it delicious to feel. The light won its way tenderly among the trees, touching the white marble tombstones behind me, but resting with a more gentle ray upon the moss and turf where only little bits of rough board marked the sleeping-places of our dependants. Just out of sight, through the still air I could hear the river, in its rippling, flow past the bank at the top of which I sat. My book hung in my hand, and the course of Universal History was forgotten, while I mused and mused over the two sorts of graves that lay around me, the two races, the diverse fate that attended them, while one blue sky was over, and one sunlight fell down. And "while I was musing the fire burned" more fiercely than ever David's had occasion when he wrote those words, "Then spake I with my tongue." I would have liked to do that. But I could do nothing; only pray.
I was very much startled while I sat in my muse to hear a footstep coming. A steady, regular footstep; no light trip of children; and the hands were in the field, and this was not a step like any of them. My first thought was, the overseer's come to spy me out. The next minute I saw through the trees and the iron railings behind me that it was not the overseer. I knewhiswideawake; and this head was crowned with some sort of a cap. I turned my head again and sat quiet; willing to be overlooked, if that might be. The steps never slackened. I heard them coming round the railing—then just at the corner—I looked up to see the cap lifted, and a smile coming uponfeatures that I knew; but my own thoughts were so very far away that my visitor had almost reached my side before I could recollect who it was. I remember I got up then in a little hurry.
"It is Doctor Sandford!" I exclaimed, as his hand took mine.
"Is it, Daisy?" answered the doctor.
"I think so," I said.
"And Ithinkso," he said, looking at me after the old fashion. "Sit down, and let me make sure."
"You must sit on the grass, then," I said.
"Not a bad thing, in such a pleasant place," he rejoined, sending his blue eye all round my prospect. "But it is not so pleasant a place as White Lake, Daisy."
Such a flood of memories and happy associations came rushing into my mind at these words—he had not given them time to come in slowly. I suppose my face showed it, for the doctor looked at me and smiled as he said, "I see itisDaisy; I think it is certainly Daisy. So you do not like Magnolia?"
"Yes, I do," I said, wondering where he got that conclusion. "I like theplacevery much, if——"
"I should like to have the finishing of that 'if'—if you have no objection."
"I like theplace," I repeated. "There are some things about it I do not like."
"Climate, perhaps?"
"I did not mean the climate. I do not think I meant anything that belonged to the place itself."
"How do you do?" was the doctor's next question.
"I am very well, sir."
"How do you know it?"
"I suppose I am," I said. "I am not sick. I always say I am well."
"For instance, you are so well that you never get tired?"
"Oh I get tired very often. I always did."
"What sort of things make you tired? Do you take too long drives in your pony-chaise?"
"I have no pony-chaise now, Dr. Sandford. Loupe was left at Melbourne. I don't know what became of him."
"Why didn't you bring him along? But any other pony would do, Daisy."
"I don't drive at all, Dr. Sandford. My aunt and governess do not like to have me drive as I used to do. I wish I could!"
"You would like to use your pony and chaise again?"
"Very much. I know it would rest me."
"And you have a governess, Daisy? That is something you had not at Melbourne."
"No," I said.
"A governess is a very nice thing," said the doctor, taking off his hat and leaning back against the iron railing, "if she knows properly how to set people to play."
"To play!" I echoed. "I don't know whether Miss Pinshon approves of play."
"Oh! She approves of work then, does she?"
"She likes work," I answered.
"Keeps you busy?"
"Most of the day, sir."
"The evenings you have to yourself?"
"Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes I cannot get through with my lessons, and they stretch on into the evening."
"How many lessons does this lady think a person of yourage and capacity can manage in the twenty-four hours?" said the doctor, taking out his knife as he spoke and beginning to trim the thorns off a bit of sweetbriar he had cut. I stopped to make the reckoning.
"Give me the course of your day, Daisy. And by-the-by when does your day begin?"
"It begins at half past seven, Dr. Sandford."
"With breakfast?"
"No, sir. I have a recitation before breakfast."
"Please of what?"
"Miss Pinshon always begins with mathematics."
"As a bitters. Do you find that it gives you an appetite?"
By this time I was very near bursting into tears. The familiar voice and way, the old time they brought back, the contrasts they forced together, the different days of Melbourne and of my Southern home, the forms and voices of mamma and papa, they all came crowding and flitting before me. I was obliged to delay my answer. I knew that Dr. Sandford looked at me; then he went on in a very gentle way—
"Sweetbriar is sweet, Daisy,"—putting it to my nose. "I should like to know how long does mathematics last, before you are allowed to have coffee?"
"Mathematics only lasts half an hour. But then I have an hour of study in mental philosophy before breakfast. We breakfast at nine."
"It must take a great deal of coffee to wash down all that," said the doctor, lazily trimming his sweetbriar. "Don't you find that you are very hungry when you come to breakfast?"
"No, not generally," I said.
"How is that? where there is so much sharpening of the wits, people ought to be sharp otherwise."
"My wits do not get sharpened," I said, half laughing. "I think they get dull; and I am often dull altogether by breakfast time."
"What time in the day do you walk?"
"In the afternoon, when we have done with the schoolroom. But lately Miss Pinshon does not walk much."
"So you take the best of the day for philosophy?"
"No, sir, for mathematics."
"Oh! Well, Daisy,afterphilosophy and mathematics have both had their turn, what then?—when breakfast is over."
"Oh, they have two or three more turns in the course of the day," I said. "Astronomy comes after breakfast; then Smith's 'Wealth of Nations;' then chemistry. Then I have a long history lesson to recite; then French. After dinner we have natural philosophy, and physical geography and mathematics; and then we have generally done."
"And then what is left of you goes to walk," said the doctor.
"No, not very often now," I said. "I don't know why—Miss Pinshon has very much given up walking of late."
"Then what becomes of you?"
"I do not often want to do much of anything," I said. "To-day I came here."
"With a book," said the doctor. "Is it work or play?"
"My history lesson," I said, showing the book. "I had not quite time enough at home."
"How much of a lesson, for instance?" said the doctor, taking the book and turning over the leaves.
"I had to make a synopsis of the state of Europe from the third century to the tenth—synchronising the events and the names."
"In writing?"
"I might write it if I chose, I often do, but I had to give the synopsis from memory."
"Does it take long to prepare, Daisy?" said the doctor, still turning over the leaves.
"Pretty long," I said, "when I am stupid. Sometimes Icannotdo the synchronising, my head gets so thick; and I have to take two or three days for it."
"Don't you get punished for letting your head get thick?"
"Sometimes I do."
"And what is the system of punishment at Magnolia for such deeds?"
"I am kept in the house for the rest of the afternoon sometimes," I said; "or I have an extra problem in mathematics to get out for the next morning."
"Andthatkeeps you in, if the governess don't."
"Oh no," I said; "I never can work at it then. I get up earlier the next morning."
"Do you do nothing for exercise but those walks, which you do not take?"
"I used to ride last year," I said; "and this year I was stronger, and Miss Pinshon gave me more studies; and somehow I have not cared to ride so much. I have felt more like being still."
"You must have grown tremendously wise, Daisy," said the doctor, looking round at me now with his old pleasant smile. I cannot tell the pleasure and comfort it was to me to see him; but I think I said nothing.
"It is near the time now when you always leave Magnolia, is it not?"
"Very near now."
"Would it trouble you to have the time a little anticipated?"
I looked at him, in much doubt what this might mean. The doctor fumbled in his breast pocket and fetched out a letter.
"Just before your father sailed for China, he sent me this. It was some time before it reached me; and it was some time longer before I could act upon it."
He put a letter in my hand, which I, wondering, read. It said, the letter did, that papa was not at ease about me; that he was not satisfied with my aunt's report of me, nor with the style of my late letters; and begged Dr. Sandford would run down to Magnolia at his earliest convenience and see me, and make inquiry as to my well-being; and if he found things not satisfactory, as my father feared he might, and judge that the rule of Miss Pinshon had not been good for me on the whole, my father desired that Dr. Sandford would take measures to have me removed to the North and placed in one of the best schools there to be found; such a one as Mrs. Sandford might recommend. The letter further desired that Dr. Sandford would keep a regular watch over my health, and suffer no school training nor anything else to interfere with it; expressing the writer's confidence that Dr. Sandford knew better than any one what was good for me.
"So you see, Daisy," the doctor said, when I handed him back the letter, "your father has constituted me in some sort your guardian until such time as he comes back."
"I am very glad," I said, smiling.
"Are you? That is kind. I am going to act upon my authority immediately, and take you away."
"From Magnolia?" I said breathlessly.
"Yes. Wouldn't you like to go and see Melbourne again for a little while?"
"Melbourne!" said I; and I remember how my cheeks grew warm. "But—will Miss Pinshon go to Melbourne?"
"No; she will not. Nor anywhere else, Daisy, with my will and permission, where you go. Will that distress you very much?"
I could not say yes, and I believe I made no answer, my thoughts were in such a whirl.
"Is Mrs. Sandford in Melbourne—I mean, near Melbourne—now?" I asked at length.
"No, she is in Washington. But she will be going to the old place before long. Would you like to go, Daisy?"
I could hardly tell him. I could hardly think. It began to rush over me, that this parting from Magnolia was likely to be for a longer time than usual. The river murmured by—the sunlight shone on the groves on the hillside. Who would look after my poor people?
"You like Magnolia after all?" said the doctor. "I do not wonder, so far as Magnolia goes, you are sorry to leave it."
"No," I said, "I am not sorry at all to leave Magnolia; I am very glad. I am only sorry to leave—some friends."
"Friends?" said the doctor.
"Yes."
"How many friends?"
"I don't know," said I. "I think there are a hundred or more."
"Seriously?"
"Oh yes," I said. "They are all on the place here."
"How long will you want, Daisy, to take proper leave of these friends?"
I had no idea he was in such practical haste; but I found it was so.
IT became necessary for me to think how soon I could be ready, and arrange to get my leave-takings over by a certain time. Dr. Sandford could not wait for me. He was an army surgeon now, I found, and stationed at Washington. He had to return to his post and leave Miss Pinshon to bring me up to Washington. I fancy matters were easily arranged with Miss Pinshon. She was as meek as a lamb. But it never was her way to fight against circumstances. The doctor ordered that I should come up to Washington in a week or two.
I did not know till he was gone what a hard week it was going to be.
As soon as he had turned his back upon Magnolia, my leave-takings began. I may say they began sooner; for in the morning after his arrival, when Margaret was in my room, she fell to questioning me about the truth of the rumour that had reached the kitchen. Jem said I was going away, not to come back. I do not know how he had got hold of the notion. Andwhen I told her it was true, she dropped the pine splinters out of her hands, and rising to her feet, besought me that I would take her with me. So eagerly she besought me, that I had much difficulty to answer.
"I shall be in a school, Margaret," I said. "I could not have anybody there to wait on me."
"Miss Daisy won't never do everything for herself?"
"Yes, I must," I said. "All the girls do."
"I'd hire out then, Miss Daisy, while you don't want me—I'd be right smart—and I'd bring all my earnin's to you regular. 'Deed I will! Till Miss Daisy want me herself."
I felt my cheeks flush. She would bringherearnings tome. Yes, that was what we were doing.
"'Clar, Miss Daisy, do don't leave me behind! I could take washin' and do all Miss Daisy's things up right smart—don't believe they knows how to do things up there!—I'll come to no good if I don't go with Miss Daisy, sure."
"You can be good here as well as anywhere, Margaret," I said.
"Miss Daisy don' know. Miss Daisy, s'pose the devil walkin' round about a place; think it a nice place fur to be good in?"
"The devil is not in Magnolia more than anywhere else," I said.
"Dere Mass' Edwards—" Margaret said half under her breath. Even in my room she would not speak the name out loud.
The end of it was, that I wrote up to Washington to Dr. Sandford to ask if I might take the girl with me; and his answer came back, that if it were any pleasure to me I certainly might. So that matter was settled. But the parting with therest was hard. I do not know whether it was hardest for them or for me. Darry blessed me and prayed for me. Maria wept over me. Theresa mourned and lamented. Tears and wailings came from all the poor women who knew me best and used to come to the Sunday readings: and Pete took occasion to make private request, that when I was grown, or when at any time I should want a manservant, I would remember and send for him. He could do anything, he said; he could drive horses or milk cows or take care of a garden, orcook. It was said in a subdued voice, and though with a gleam of his white circle of teeth at the last-mentioned accomplishment, it was said with a depth of grave earnestness which troubled me. I promised as well as I could; but my heart was very sore for my poor people, left now without anybody, even so much as a child, to look after their comfort and give them any hopes for one world or the other.
Those heavy days were done at last. Margaret was speedy with my packing; a week from the time of Dr. Sandford's coming, I had said my last lesson to Miss Pinshon, read my last reading to my poor people, shaken the last hand-shakings; and we were on the little steamer plying down the Sands river.
I think I was wearied out, for I remember no excitement or interest about the journey, which ought to have had so much for me. In a passive state of mind I followed Miss Pinshon from steamer to station; from one train of cars to another; and saw the familiar landscape flit before me as the cars whirled us on. At Baytown we had been joined by a gentleman who went with us all the rest of the way; and I began by degrees to comprehend that my governess had changed her vocation, and instead of taking care, as heretofore, was going to be taken care of. It did not interest me. I saw it, that was all. I saw Margaret'sdelight, too, shown by every quick and thoughtful movement that could be of any service to me, and by a certain inexpressible air of deliverance which sat on her, I cannot tell how, from her bonnet down to her shoes. But her delight reminded me of those that were not delivered.
I think of all the crushing griefs that a young person can be called to bear, one of the sorest is the feeling of wrongdoing on the part of a beloved father or mother. I was sure that my father, blinded by old habit and bound by the laws of the country, did not in the least degree realise the true state of the matter. I knew that the real colour of his gold had never been seen by him. Not the less,Iknew now that it was bloody; and what was worse, though I do not knowwhyit should be worse, I knew that it was soiled. I knew that greed and dishonour were the two collectors of our revenue, andwrongour agent. Do I use strong words? They are not too strong for the feelings which constantly bore upon my heart, nor too bitter; though my childish heart never put them into such words at the time. That my father did not know, saved my love and reverence for him; but it did not change anything else.
In the last stage of our journey, as we left a station where the train had stopped, I noticed a little book left on one of the empty seats of the car. It lay there and nobody touched it: till we were leaving the car at Alexandria and almost everybody had gone out, and I saw that it lay there still and nobody would claim it. In passing I took it up. It was a neat little book, with gilt edges, no name in it, and having its pages numbered for the days of the year. And each page was full of Bible words. It looked nice. I put the book in my pocket; and on board the ferry-boat opened it again, and looked for the date ofthe day in March where we were. I found the words—"He preserveth the way of his saints." They were the words heading the page. I had not time for another bit; but as I left the boat this went into my heart like a cordial.
It was a damp, dark morning. The air was chill as we left the little boat cabin; the streets were dirty; there was a confusion of people seeking carriages or porters or baggage or custom; then suddenly I felt as if I had lighted on a tower of strength, for Dr. Sandford stood at my side. A good-humoured sort of a tower he looked to me, in his steady, upright bearing; and his military coat helped the impression of that. I can see now his touch of his cap to Miss Pinshon, and then the quick glance which took in Margaret and me. In another minute I had shaken hands with my governess, and was in a carriage with Margaret opposite me; and Dr. Sandford was giving my baggage in charge to somebody. And then he took his place beside me and we drove off. And I drew a long breath.
"Punctual to your time, Daisy," said the doctor. "But what made you choose such a time? How much of yourself have you left by the way?"
"Miss Pinshon liked better to travel all night," I said, "because there was no place where she liked to stop to spend the night."
"What was your opinion on that subject?"
"I was more tired than she was, I suppose."
"Has she managed things on the same system for the four years past?"
The doctor put the question with such a cool gravity, that I could not help laughing. Yet I believe my laughing was very near crying. At first he did so put me in mind of all that wasabout me when I used to see him in that time long before. And an inexpressible feeling of comfort was in his presence now; a feeling of being taken care of. I had been looked after, undoubtedly, all these years—sharply looked after; there was never a night that I could go to sleep without my governess coming in to see that I was in my room, or in bed, and my clothes in order, and my light where it ought to be. And my aunt had not forgotten me, nor her perplexities about me. And Preston had petted me when he was near. But even Preston sometimes lost sight of me in the urgency of his own pleasure or business. There was a great difference in the strong hand of Dr. Sandford's care; and if you had ever looked into his blue eyes, you would know that they forgot nothing. They had always fascinated me; they did now.
Mrs. Sandford was not up when we got to the house where she was staying. It was no matter, for a room was ready for me; and Dr. Sandford had a nice little breakfast brought, and saw me eat it, just as if I were a patient. Then he ordered me to bed, and charged Margaret to watch over me, and he went away, as he said, till luncheon time.
I drew two or three long breaths as Margaret was undressing me; I felt so comfortable.
"Are Miss Pinshon done gone away, Miss Daisy?" my handmaid asked.
"From Magnolia? yes."
"Where she gwine to?"
"I don't know."
"Then she don't go furder along the way we're goin'?"
"No. I wonder, Margaret, if they will have any prayer-meetings in Magnolia now?" For with the mention of Magnolia my thoughts swept back.
"'Spect the overseer have his ugly old way!" Margaret uttered with great disgust. "Miss Daisy done promise me, I go 'long with Miss Daisy?" she added.
"Yes. But what makesyouwant to get away from home more than all the rest of them?"
"Reckon I'd done gone kill myself, s'pose Miss Daisy leave me there," the girl said gloomily. "If dey send me down South, Iwould."
"Send you South!" I said; "they would not do that, Margaret."
"Dere was man wantin' to buy me—give mighty high price, de overseer said." In excitement Margaret's tongue sometimes grew thick, like those of her neighbours.
"Mr. Edwards has no right to sell anybody away from the place," I insisted, in mixed unbelief and horror.
"Dunno," said Margaret. "Don't make no difference, Miss Daisy. Who care what he do? Dere's Pete's wife—"
"Pete's wife?" said I. "I didn't know Pete was married! What of Pete's wife?"
"Dat doctor will kill me, for sure!" said Margaret, looking at me. "Do, don't, Miss Daisy! The doctor say you must go right to bed, now. See! you ain't got your clothes off."
"Stop," said I. "What about Pete's wife?"
"I done forget. I thought Miss Daisy knowed. Mebbe it's before Miss Daisy come home."
"What?" said I. "What?"
"It's nothin', Miss Daisy. The overseer he done got mad with Pete's wife and he sold her down South, he did."
"Away from Pete?" said I.
"Pete, he's to de old place," said Margaret, laconically."'Spect he forgot all about it by dis time. Miss Daisy please have her clothes off and go to bed?"
There was nothing more to wait for. I submitted, was undressed; but the rest and sleep which had been desired were far out of reach now. Pete's wife?—my good, strong, gentle, and I remembered alwaysgrave, Pete! My heart was on fire with indignation and torn to pieces with sorrow, both at once. Torn with the helpless feeling too that I could not mend the wrong. I do not mean this individual wrong, but the whole state of things under which such wrong was possible. I was restless on my bed, though very weary. I would rather have been up and doing something, than to lie and look at my trouble; only that being there kept me out of the way of seeing people and of talking. Such things done under my father and mother's own authority,—on their own land—to their own helpless dependants; whom yet it wastheymade helpless and kept subject to such possibilities. I turned and tossed, feeling that Imustdo something, while yet I knew I could do nothing. Pete's wife! And where was she now? Andthatwas the secret of the unvarying grave shadow that Pete's brow always wore. And now that I had quitted Magnolia, no human friend for the present remained to all that crowd of poor and ignorant and needy humanity. Even their comfort of prayer forbidden; except such comfort as each believer might take by himself alone.
I did not know, I never did know till long after, how to many at Magnolia that prohibition wrought no harm. I think Margaret knew, and even then did not dare tell me. How the meetings for prayer were not stopped. How watch was kept on certain nights, till all stir had ceased in the little community; till lights were out in the overseer's house (and at the great house,while we were there); and how then, silently and softly from their several cabins, the people stole away through the woods to a little hill beyond the cemetery, quite far out of hearing or ken of anybody; and there prayed, and sang too, and "praised God and shouted," as my informant told me; not neglecting all the while to keep a picket watch about their meeting-place, to give the alarm in case anybody should come. So under the soft moonlight skies and at depth of night, the meetings which I had supposed broken up, took new life, and grew, and lived; and prayers did not fail; and the Lord hearkened and heard.
It would have comforted me greatly if I could have known this at the time. But, as I said, I supposed Margaret dared not tell me. After a long time of weary tossing and heartache, sleep came at last to me; but it brought Pete and his wife and the overseer and Margaret in new combinations of trouble; and I got little refreshment.
"Now you have waked up, Miss Daisy?" said Margaret when I opened my eyes. "That poundin' noise has done waked you!"
"What noise?"
"It's no Christian noise," said Margaret. "What's the use of turnin' the house into a clap of thunder like that? But a man was makin' it o' purpose, for I went out to see; and he telled me it was to call folks to luncheon. Will you get up, Miss Daisy?"
Margaret spoke as if she thought I had much better lie still; but I was weary of the comfort I had found there and disposed to try something else. I had just time to be ready before Dr. Sandford came for me and took me to his sister-in-law. Mrs. Sandford welcomed me with great kindness, even tenderness; exclaimed at my growth; but I saw by her glance at the doctorthat my appearance in other respects struck her unfavourably. He made no answer to that, but carried us off to the luncheon-room.
There were other people lodging in the house besides my friends; a long table was spread. Dr. Sandford, I saw, was an immense favourite. Questions and demands upon his attention came thick and fast from both ends and all sides of the table; about all sorts of subjects and in all manner of tones, grave and gay. And he was at home to them all, but in the midst of it never forgot me. He took careful heed to my luncheon; prepared one thing, and called for another; it reminded me of a time long gone by; but it did not help me to eat. I could not eat. The last thing he did was to call for a fresh raw egg, and break it into a half glass of milk. With this in his hand we left the dining-room. As soon as we got to Mrs. Sandford's parlour he gave it to me and ordered me to swallow it. I suppose I looked dismayed.
"Poor child!" said Mrs. Sandford. "Let me have it beaten up for her, Grant, with some sugar; she can't take it so."
"Daisy has done harder things," he said.
I saw he expected me to drink it, and so I did, I do not know how.
"Thank you," he said smiling, as he took the glass. "Now sit down and I will talk to you."
"How she is growing tall, Grant!" said Mrs. Sandford.
"Yes," said he. "Did you sleep well, Daisy?"
"No, sir; I couldn't sleep. And then I dreamed."
"Dreaming is not a proper way of resting. So tired you could not sleep?"
"I do not think it was that, Dr. Sandford."
"Do you know what it was?"
"I think I do," I said, a little unwillingly.
"She is getting very much the look of her mother," Mrs. Sandford remarked again. "Don't you see it, Grant?"
"I see more than that," he answered. "Daisy, do you think this governess of yours has been a good governess?"
I looked wearily out of the window, and cast a weary mental look over the four years of algebraics and philosophy at the bright little child I saw at the further end of them.
"I think I have grown dull, Dr. Sandford," I said.
He came up behind me, and put his arms round me, taking my hand in his, and spoke in quite a different tone.
"Daisy, have you found many 'wonderful things' at Magnolia?"
I looked up, I remember, with the eagerness of a heart full of thoughts, in his face; but I could not speak then.
"Have you looked through a microscope since you have been there, and made discoveries?"
"Not in natural things, Dr. Sandford."
"Ha!" said the doctor. "Do you want to go and take a drive with me?"
"Oh yes!"
"Go and get ready then, please."
I had a very pleasant, quiet drive; the doctor showing me, as he said, not wonderful things but new things, and taking means to amuse me. And every day for several days I had a drive. Sometimes we went to the country, sometimes got out and examined something in the city. There was a soothing relief in it all, and in the watchful care taken of me at home, and the absence of mathematics and philosophy. All day when notdriving or at meals, I lay on Mrs. Sandford's sofa or curled myself up in the depth of a great easy-chair, and turned over her books; or studied my own blue book which I had picked up in the car, and which was so little I had Margaret to make a big pocket in my frock to hold it. But this life was not to last. A few days was all Mrs. Sandford had to spend in Washington.
The place I liked best to go to was the Capitol. Several times Dr. Sandford took me there, and showed me the various great rooms, and paintings, and smaller rooms with their beautiful adornments; and I watched the workmen at work; for the renewing of the building was not yet finished. As long as he had time to spare, Dr. Sandford let me amuse myself as I would; and often got me into talks which refreshed me more than anything. Still, though I was soothed, my trouble at heart was not gone. One day we were sitting looking at the pictures in the great vestibule, when Dr. Sandford suddenly started a subject which put the Capitol out of my head.
"Daisy," said he, "was it your wish or Margaret's, that she should go North with you?"
"Hers," I said, startled.
"Then it is not yours particularly."
"Yes, it is, Dr. Sandford,veryparticularly."
"How is that?" said he.
I hesitated. I shrank from the whole subject; it was so extremely sore to me.
"I ought to warn you," he went on, "that if you take her further, she may, if she likes, leave you, and claim her freedom. That is the law. If her owner takes her into the free States, she may remain in them if she will, whether he does or not."
I was silent still, for the whole thing choked me. I was quitewilling she should have her freedom, get it any way she could; but there was my father, and his pleasure and interest, which might not choose to lose a piece of his property; and my mother andherinterest and pleasure; I knew what both would be. I was dumb.
"You had not thought of this before?" the doctor went on.
"No, sir."
"Does it not change your mind about taking her on?"
"No, sir."
"Did it ever occur to you, or rather, does it not occur to you now, that the girl's design in coming may have been this very purpose of her freedom?"
"I do not think it was," I said.
"Even if not, it will be surely put in her head by other people before she has been at the North long; and she will know that she is her own mistress."
I was silent still. I knew that I wished she might.
"Do you think," Dr. Sandford went on, "that in this view of the case we had better send her back to Magnolia when you leave Washington?"
"No," I said.
"I think it would be better," he repeated.
"Oh, no!" I said. "Oh, no, Dr. Sandford. I can't send her back. You will not send her back, will you?"
"Be quiet," he said, holding fast the hand which in my earnestness I had put in his; "she is not my servant; she is yours; it is for you to say what you will do."
"I will not send her back," I said.
"But it may be right to consider what would be Mr. Randolph's wish on the subject. If you take her, he may loseseveral hundred dollars' worth of property: it is right for me to warn you. Would he choose to run the risk?"
I remember now what a fire at my heart sent the blood to my face. But with my hand in Dr. Sandford's, and those blue eyes of his reading me, I could not keep back my thought.
"She ought to be her own mistress," I said.
A brilliant flash of expression filled the blue eyes and crossed his face—I could hardly tell what, before it was gone. Quick surprise—pleasure—amusement—agreement; the first and the two last certainly; and the pleasure I could not help fancying had lent its colour to that ray of light which had shot for one instant from those impenetrable eyes. He spoke just as usual.
"But, Daisy, have you studied this question?"
"I think I have studied nothing else, Dr. Sandford."
"You know the girl is not yours, but your father's."
"She isn't anybody's," I said slowly, and with slow tears gathering in my heart.
"How do you mean?" said he, with again the quiver of a smile upon his lips.
"I mean," I said, struggling with my thoughts and myself, "I mean that nobody could have a right to her."
"Did not her parents belong to your father?"
"To my mother."
"Then she does."
"But, Dr. Sandford," I said, "nobodycanbelong to anybody—in that way."
"How do you make it out, Daisy?"
"Because nobody can give anybody arightto anybody else in that way."
"Does it not give your mother a right, that the mother of thisgirl and her grandmother were the property of your ancestors?"
"They could not be their property justly," I said, glad to get back to my ancestors.
"The law made it so."
"Not God's law, Dr. Sandford," I said, looking up at him.
"No? Does not that law give a man a right to what he has honestly bought?"
"No," I said, "itcan't—not if it has been dishonestly sold."
"Explain, Daisy," said Dr. Sandford, very quietly; but I saw the gleam of that light in his eye again. I had gone too far to stop. I went on, ready to break my heart over the right and wrong I was separating.
"I mean, thefirstpeople that sold the first of these coloured people," I said.
"Well?" said the doctor.
"They could not have a right to sell them."
"Yes. Well?"
"Then the people that bought them could not have a right, any more," I said.
"But, Daisy," said Dr. Sandford, "do you know that there are different opinions on this very point?"
I was silent. It made no difference to me.
"Suppose for the moment that the first people, as you say, had no precise right to sell the men and women they brought to this country; yet those who bought them and paid honest money for them, and possessed them from generation to generation—had nottheya right to pass them off upon other hands, receiving their money back again?"
"I don't know how to explain it," I said. "I mean—if atfirst—Dr. Sandford, hadn't the people that were sold, hadn't they rights too?"
"Rights of what sort?"
"A right to do what they liked with themselves, and to earn money, and to keep their wives?"
"But those rights were lost, you know, Daisy."
"Butcouldthey be?" I said. "I mean—Dr. Sandford, for instance, suppose somebody stole your watch from you; would you lose the right to it?"
"Itseemsto me that I should not, Daisy."
"That is what I mean," I said.
"But there is another view of the case, Daisy. Take Margaret, for instance. From the time she was a child, your father's, or your mother's money has gone to support her; her food and clothing and living have been wholly at their expense. Does not that give them a right to her services? ought they not to be repaid?"
I did not want to speak of my father and mother and Margaret. It was coming too near home. I knew the food and clothing Dr. Sandford spoke of; I knew a very few months of a Northern servant's wages would have paid for it all; was this girl's whole life to be taken from her, and by my father and mother, and for such a cause? The feeling of grief and wrong and shame got possession of me. I was ready to break my heart in tears; but I could not show Dr. Sandford what I felt, nor confess to what I thought of my father's action. I had the greatest struggle with myself not to give way and cry. I was very weak bodily, but I know I stood still and did not shed a tear; till I felt Dr. Sandford's hands take hold of me. They put me gently back in the chair from which I had risen.
"What is the matter, Daisy?" he said.
I would not speak, and he did not urge it; but I saw that he watched me till I gained command of myself again.
"Shall we go home now?" he asked.
"In a minute. Dr. Sandford, I do not think papa knows about all this—I do not think he knows about it as I do. I am sure he does not; and when he knows he will think as I do."
"Or perhaps you will think as he does."
I was silent. I wondered if that could be possible—if I too could have my eyes blinded as I saw other people's were.
"Little Daisy," said my friend the doctor, "but you are getting to be notlittleDaisy. How old are you?"
"I shall be fourteen in June."
"Fourteen. Well, it is no wonder that my friend whom I left a philosopher at ten years old, I should find a woman at fourteen; but Daisy, you must not take it on your heart that you have to teach all the ignorant and help all the distressed that come in your way; because simply you cannot do it."
I looked up at him. I could not tell him what I thought, because he would not, I feared, understand it. Christ came to do just such work, and His servants must have it on their hearts to do the same. I cannot tell what was in my look, but I thought the doctor's face changed.
"One Molly Skelton will do for one four years," he said as he rose up. "Come, Daisy."
"But, Dr. Sandford," I said, as I followed him, "you will not do anything about sending Margaret back?"
"Nothing, till you do, Daisy."
Arrived at home, the doctor made me drink a raw egg, and lie down on Mrs. Sandford's sofa; and he sat down and looked at me.
"You are the most troublesome patient that ever I had," said he.
"I am?" I exclaimed.
"Yes. Quite innocently. You cannot help it, Daisy; and you need not be troubled about it. It is all in the way of my profession. It is as if a delicate vessel of Egyptian glass were put to do the work of an iron smelting furnace; and I have to think of all the possible bands and hardening appliances that can be brought into use for the occasion."