ExitMaid.
ExitMaid.
ExitMaid.
EnterMarlow.
Marl.What a bawling in every part of the house! I have scarce a moment's repose. If I go to the best room, there I find my host and his story. If I fly to the gallery, there we have my hostess, with her curtesy down to the ground. I have at last got a moment to myself, and now for recollection.
Walks and muses.
Miss Hard.Did you call, sir? Did your honour call?
Marl.(Musing). As for Miss Hardcastle, she's too grave and sentimental for me.
Miss Hard.Did your honour call?
She still places herself before him, he turning away.
Marl.No, child. (Musing.) Besides,from the glimpse I had of her, I think she squints.
Miss Hard.I'm sure, sir, I heard the bell ring.
Marl.No, no. (Musing.) I have pleased my father, however, by coming down, and I'll to-morrow please myself by returning.
Taking out his tablets, and perusing.
Miss Hard.Perhaps the other gentleman called, sir.
Marl.I tell you, no.
Miss Hard.I should be glad to know, sir. We have such a parcel of servants.
Marl.No, no, I'll tell you. (Looks full in her face.) Yes, child, I think I did call. I wanted—I wanted—I vow, child, you are vastly handsome.
Miss Hard.O la, sir, you'll make one ashamed.
Marl.Never saw a more sprightly malicious eye. Yes, yes, my dear, I did call. Have you got any of your—a—what d'ye call it, in the house?
Miss Hard.No, sir, we have been out of that these ten days.
Marl.One may call in this house, I find, to very little purpose. Suppose I should call for a taste, just by way of trial, of the nectar of your lips; perhaps I might be disappointed in that too.
Miss Hard.Nectar! nectar! that's a liquor there's no call for in these parts. French, I suppose. We keep no French wines here, sir.
Marl.Of true English growth, I assure you.
Miss Hard.Then it's odd I should not know it. We brew all sorts of wines in this house, and I have lived here these eighteen years.
Marl.Eighteen years? Why, one would think, child, you kept the barbefore you were born. How old are you?
Miss Hard.O! sir, I must not tell my age. They say women and music should never be dated.
Marl.To guess at this distance, you can't be much above forty. (Approaching.) Yet, nearer, I don't think so much. (Approaching.) By coming close to some women they look younger still; but when we come very close indeed——
Attempting to kiss her.
Miss Hard.Pray, sir, keep your distance. One would think you wanted to know one's age as they do horses, by mark of mouth.
Marl.I protest, child, you use me extremely ill. If you keep me at this distance, how is it possible you and I can be ever acquainted?
Miss Hard.And who wants to be acquainted with you? I want no such acquaintance, not I. I'm sure you did not treat Miss Hardcastle, that was here a while ago, in this obstropalous manner. I'll warrant me, before her you looked dashed, and kept bowing to the ground, and talked, for all the world, as if you was before a justice of peace.
Marl.(Aside.) Egad! she has hit it, sure enough. (To her.) In awe of her, child? Ha! ha! ha! A mere awkward, squinting thing; no, no. I find you don't know me. I laughed, and rallied her a little; but I was unwilling to be too severe. No, I could not be too severe,curse me!
Miss Hard.O! then, sir, you are a favourite, I find, among the ladies.
Marl.Yes, my dear, a great favourite. And yet, hang me, I don't see what they find in me to follow. At the ladies' club in town, I'm called their agreeable Rattle. Rattle, child,is not my real name, but one I'm known by. My name is Solomons. Mr. Solomons, my dear, at your service.
Offering to salute her.
Marlow.—"And why not now, my angel?"—p.356.
Marlow.—"And why not now, my angel?"—p.356.
Marlow.—"And why not now, my angel?"—p.356.
Miss Hard.Hold, sir; you were introducing me to your club, not to yourself. And you're so great a favourite there, you say?
Marl.Yes, my dear; there's Mrs. Mantrap, lady Betty Blackleg, the countess of Sligo, Mrs. Longhorns, old Miss Biddy Buckskin, and your humble servant, keep up the spirit of the place.
Miss Hard.Then it's a very merry place, I suppose.
Marl.Yes; as merry as cards, suppers, wine, and old women, can make us.
Miss Hard.And their agreeable Rattle; ha! ha! ha!
Marl.(Aside.) Egad! I don't quite like this chit. She looks knowing, methinks. You laugh, child!
Miss Hard.I can't but laugh to think what time they all have for minding their work or their family.
Marl.(Aside.) All's well, she don't laugh at me. (To her.) Doyouever work, child?
Miss Hard.Ay, sure. There's not a screen or a quilt in the whole house but what can bear witness to that.
Marl.Odso! Then you must show me your embroidery. I embroider and draw patterns myself a little. If you want a judge of your work, you must apply to me.
Seizing her hand.
Miss Hard.Ay, but the colours don't look well by candle-light. You shall see all in the morning.
Struggling.
Marl.And why not now, my angel? Such beauty fires beyond the power of resistance.—Pshaw! the father here! My old luck: I never nicked seven, that I did not throw ames-ace three times following.
ExitMarlow.
ExitMarlow.
ExitMarlow.
EnterHardcastle,who stands in surprise.
Hard.So, madam! So I findthisis yourmodestlover. This is yourhumble admirer, that kept his eyes, fixed on the ground, and only adored at humble distance. Kate, Kate, art thou not ashamed to deceive your father so?
Miss Hard.Never trust me, dear papa, but he's still the modest man I first took him for, you'll be convinced of it as well as I.
Hard.By the hand of my body, I believe his impudence is infectious! Didn't I see him seize your hand? Didn't I see him haul you about like a milk-maid? and now you talk of his respect and his modesty, forsooth!
Miss Hard.But if I shortly convince you of his modesty; that he has only the faults that will pass off with time, and the virtues that will improve with age; I hope you'll forgive him.
Hard.The girl would actually make one run mad; I tell you, I will not be convinced. I am convinced. He has scarcely been three hours in the house, and he has already encroached on all my prerogatives. You may like his impudence, and call it modesty; but my son-in-law, madam, must have very different qualifications.
Miss Hard.Sir, I ask but this night to convince you.
Hard.You shall not have half the time; for I have thoughts of turning him out this very hour.
Miss Hard.Give me that hour, then, and I hope to satisfy you.
Hard.Well, an hour let it be then. But I'll have no trifling with your father. All fair and open, do you mind me?
Miss Hard.I hope, sir, you have ever found that I considered your commands as my pride; for your kindness is such, that my duty as yet has been inclination.
Exeunt.
Exeunt.
Exeunt.