And yet the mostest thought I loveIs what no one believes—
Here the old man hastily crammed the paper into his boot again, and stared solemnly at Davy.
"What is it?" said Davy, after waiting a moment for him to complete the verse. The old man glanced suspiciously about the shop, and then added, in a hoarse whisper:—
That I'm the sole survivor ofThe famous Forty Thieves!
"But I thought the Forty Thieves were all boiled to death," said Davy.
"All but me," said the old man, decidedly. "I was in the last jar, and when they came to me the oil was off the boil, or the boil was off the oil,—I forget which it was,—but it ruined my digestion, and made me look like a gingerbread man. What larks we used to have!" he continued, rocking himself back and forth and chuckling hoarsely. "Oh! we were a precious lot, we were! I'm Sham-Sham, you know. Then there was Anamanamona Mike,—he was an Irishman from Hullaboo,—and Barcelona Boner,—he was a Spanish chap, and boned everything he could lay his hands on. Strike's real name was Gobang; but we called him Strike, because he was always asking for more pay. Hare Ware was a poacher and used to catch Welsh rabbits in a trap; we called him 'Hardware' because he had so muchstealabout him. Good joke, wasn't it?"
"Oh, very!" said Davy, laughing.
"Frown Whack was a scowling fellow with a club," continued Sham-Sham. "My! how he could hit! And Harico and Barico were a couple of bad Society Islanders. Then there was Wee Wo,—he was a little Chinese chap, and we used to send him down the chimneys to open front doors for us. He used to saythatsooted him to perfection. Wac—"
At this moment an extraordinary commotion began among the watches. There was no doubt about it, thepot was boiling, and Sham-Sham, angrily crying out, "Don't tellmea watched pot never boils!" sprang to his feet, and, pulling a pair of pistols from his belt, began firing at the watches, which were now bubbling over the side of the pot and rolling about the floor; while Davy, who had had quite enough of Sham-Sham by this time, ran out of the door.
To his great surprise he found himself in a sort of underground passage, lighted by grated openings overhead; but as he could still hear Sham-Sham, who now seemed to be firing all his pistols at once, he did not hesitate, but ran along the passage at the top of his speed.
Presently he came in sight of a figure hurrying toward him with a lighted candle, and, as it approached, he was perfectly astounded to see that it was Sham-Sham himself, dressed up in a neat calico frock and a dimity apron, like a house-keeper, and with a bunch of keys hanging at his girdle.
The old man seemed to be greatly agitated, and hurriedly whispering, "We thought you werenevercoming, sir!" led the way through the passage in great haste. Davy noticed that they were now in a sort of tunnel made of fine grass. The grass had a delightful fragrance, like new-mown hay, and was neatly wound around the tunnel, like the inside of a bird's-nest. The next moment they came out into an open space in the forest, where, to Davy's amazement,
"SHAM-SHAM, EXCLAIMING 'DON'T TELL ME A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS!' BEGAN FIRING AT THE WATCHES.""SHAM-SHAM, EXCLAIMING 'DON'T TELL ME A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS!' BEGAN FIRING AT THE WATCHES."
the Cockalorum was sitting bolt upright in an arm-chair, with his head wrapped up in flannel.
It seemed to be night, but the place was lighted up by a large chandelier that hung from the branches of a tree, and Davy saw that a number of odd-looking birds were roosting on the
THE COCKALORUM IS ILL.THE COCKALORUM IS ILL.
chandelier among the lights, gazing down upon the poor Cockalorum with a melancholy interest. As Sham-Sham made his appearance, with Davyat his heels, there was a sudden commotion among the birds, and they all cried out together, "Here's the doctor!" but before Davy could reply the Hole-keeper suddenly made his appearance, with his great book, and, hurriedly turning over the leaves, said, pointing to Davy, "Heisn't a doctor. His name is Gloopitch." At these words there arose a long, wailing cry, the lights disappeared, and Davy found himself on a broad path in the forest, with the Hole-keeper walking quietly beside him.
SINDBAD THE SAILOR'S HOUSE.
"You had no right to tell those birds my name was Gloopitch!" said Davy, angrily. "That's the second time you've got it wrong."
"Well, it's of no consequence," said the Hole-keeper, complacently. "I'll make it something else the next time. I suppose you know they've caught Gobobbles?"
"I'm glad of it!" said Davy, heartily. "He's worse than the Cockalorum, ten times over. What did they do with him?"
"Cooked him," said the Hole-keeper,—"roasted him, fried him, pickled him, and boiled him."
"Gracious!" exclaimed Davy; "I shouldn't think he'd be good for much after all that."
"He isn't," replied the Hole-keeper, calmly. "They're going to keep him to rub out pencil-marks with."
This was such a ridiculous idea that Davy threw back his head, and laughed long and loud.
"Do that again," said the Hole-keeper, stopping short in his walk and gazing at him earnestly; and Davy burst into another fit of laughter.
"Do it again," persisted the Hole-keeper, staring at him still more solemnly.
This was somewhat tiresome; and, after a rather feeble attempt at a third laugh, Davy said, "I don't feel like it any more."
"IfIcould do that," said the Hole-keeper, earnestly, "I'd never stop. The fact is," he continued, gravely shaking his head, "I've never laughed in my life. Does it hurt much?"
"It doesn't hurt at all," said Davy, beginning to laugh again.
"Well, there, there!" said the Hole-keeper, peevishly, resuming his walk again; "don't keep it upforever. By the way, you're not the postman, are you?"
"Of course I'm not," said Davy.
"I'm glad of that," said the Hole-keeper; "postmen are always so dreadfully busy. Would you mind delivering a letter for me?" he added, lowering his voice confidentially.
"Oh, no," answered Davy, rather reluctantly; "not if it will be in my way."
"It's sure to be in your way, because it's so big," said the Hole-keeper; and, taking the letter out of his pocket, he handed it to Davy. It certainly was a very large letter, curiously folded, like a dinner-napkin, and sealed in a great many places with red and white peppermint drops, and Davy was much pleased to see that it was addressed:—
Captain Robinson Crusoe,Jeran Feranderperandamam,B.G.
"What does B.G. stand for?" said Davy.
"Baldergong's Geography, of course," said the Hole-keeper.
"But why do you putthaton the letter?" inquired Davy.
"Because you can't find Jeran Feranderperandamam anywhere else, stupid," said the Hole-keeper, impatiently. "But I can't stop to argue about it now;" and, saying this, he turned into a side path, and disappeared in the wood.
As Davy walked mournfully along, turning the big letter over and over in his hands, and feeling very confused by the Hole-keeper's last remark, he presently saw, lying on the walk before him, a small book, beautifully bound in crimson morocco, and, picking it up, he saw that it was marked on the cover:—
BALDERGONG'S STUFFING FOR THE STUPID.
"Perhaps this will tell me where to go," he thought as he opened it; but it proved to be far more confusing than the Hole-keeper himself had been. In fact it wasaltogether the most ridiculous and provoking book Davy had ever seen.
The first page was headed, in large capital letters:—
HOW TO FRILL GRIDDLEPIGS.
And it seemed to Davy that thisoughtto be something about cooking sausages; but all he found below the heading was:—
Never frill 'em: snuggle 'em always.
And this seemed so perfectly silly that he merely said, "Oh, bosh!" and turned impatiently to the next page. This, however, was no better. The heading was:—
TWO WAYS OF FRUMPLING CRUMBLES.
And under this was—
One way:—Frumple your crumbles with rumbles.The other way:—Frumple your crumbles: then add two grumbles oftumbles and stir rapidly.
Davy read this over two or three times, in the greatest perplexity, and then gave it up in despair.
"It's nothing at all except a jumbly way of cooking something tumbly," he said to himself, and then turned sadly to the third page. Alas! this was a great deal worse, being headed:—
THE BEST SNUB FOR FEASTIE SPRALLS;
and poor Davy began to feel as if he were taking leave of his senses. He was just about to throw the book down in disgust, when it was suddenly snatched out of his hands; and, turning hastily, he saw a savage glaring at him from the bushes.
Now Davy knew perfectly well, as all little boys should know, that when you meet a savage in the woods you must get behind a tree as quickly as possible; but he did this in such haste that he found, to his dismay, that he and the savage had chosen the same tree, and in the next instant the savage was after him. The tree was a very large one, and Davy, in his fright, went around it a number of times, so rapidly that he presently caught sight of the back of the savage, and he was surprised to see that he was no bigger than a large monkey; and, moreover, that he was gorgeously dressed, in a beautiful blue coat, with brass buttons on the tail of it, and pink striped trousers. He had hardly made this discovery when the savage vanished as mysteriously as he had appeared, and the next moment Davy came suddenly upon a high paling of logs, that began at the tree and extended in a straight line far out into the forest.
It was very puzzling to Davy when it occurred to him that, although he had been around the tree at least a dozen times, he had never seen this paling before, anda door that was in it also bothered him; for, though it was quite an ordinary-looking door, it had no knob nor latch, nor, indeed, any way of being opened that he could perceive. On one side of it, in the paling, was a row of bell-pulls, marked:—
Family;Police;Butcher;Baker;Candlestick-maker;
and on the door itself was a large knocker, marked:—
Postman.
After examining all these Davy decided that, as he had a letter in charge, he was more of a postman than anything else, and he therefore raised the knocker and rapped loudly. Immediately all the bell-pulls began flying in and out of their own accord, with a deafening clangor of bells behind the paling; and then the door swung slowly back upon its hinges.
Davy walked through the door-way and found himself in the oddest-looking little country place that could possibly be imagined. There was a little lawn laid out, on which a sort of soft fur was growing instead of grass, and here and there about the lawn, in the place offlower-beds, little footstools, neatly covered with carpet, were growing out of the fur. The trees were simply large feather-dusters, with varnished handles; but they seemed, nevertheless, to be growing in a very thriving manner, and on a little mound at the back of the lawn stood a
"THE SAVAGE WAS SITTING IN THE SHADE OF ONE OF THE DUSTERS.""THE SAVAGE WAS SITTING IN THE SHADE OF ONE OF THE DUSTERS."
small house, built entirely of big conch-shells, with their pink mouths turned outward. This gave the house a very cheerful appearance, as if it were constantly on a broad grin.
To Davy's dismay, however, the savage was sitting in the shade of one of the dusters, complacently readingthe little red book, and he was just wondering whether or not he would be able to get out of the place without being seen, when the little creature looked up at him with a tremendous smile on his face, and Davy saw, to his astonishment, that he was the Goblin, dressed up like an Ethiopian serenader.
"Oh! you dear, delicious old Goblin!" cried Davy, in an ecstasy of joy at again finding his travelling-companion. "And were you the savage that was chasing me just now?"
The Goblin nodded his head, and, exclaiming "My, how you did cut and run!" rolled over and over, kicking his heels about in a delirium of enjoyment.
"Goblin," said Davy, gravely, "I think we could have just as good a time without any such doings as that."
"Icouldn't," said the Goblin, sitting up again and speaking very positively; "it's about all the fun I have."
"Well, then," said Davy, "I wish you wouldn't be disappearing all the time. I think that is a very disagreeable habit."
"Rubbish!" said the Goblin, with a chuckle. "That's only my way of getting a vacation."
"And where do you go?" inquired Davy; but this proved to be a very unfortunate question, for the Goblin immediately began fading away in such an alarming manner that he would certainly have gone entirely out of sight if Davy had not caught him by the coat-collar and pulled him into view again with a gentle shake.
"Oh, I beg your pardon!" said Davy, who was greatly alarmed by this narrow escape. "I really don't care to know about that; I only want to know what place this is."
The Goblin stared about him in a dazed manner for a moment, and then said, "Sindbad the Sailor's house."
"Really and truly?" said the delighted Davy.
"Really and treally truly," said the Goblin. "And here he comes now!"
Davy looked around and saw an old man coming toward them across the lawn. He was dressed in a Turkish costume, and wore a large turban and red morocco slippers turned up at the toes like skates; and his white beard was so long that at every fourth step he trod upon it and fell flat on his face. He took no notice whatever of either Davy or the Goblin, and, after falling down a number of times, took his seat upon one of the little carpet footstools, and taking off his turban began stirring about in it with a large wooden spoon. As he took off his turban Davy saw that his head, which was perfectly bald, was neatly laid out in black and white squares like a chess-board.
"This here Turk is the most reckless old story-teller that ever was born," said the Goblin, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder at Sindbad. "You can't believe half he tells you."
"I'd like to hear one of his stories, for all that," said Davy.
"All right!" said the Goblin, promptly; "just come along with me, and he'll give us a whopper."
As they started off to join Sindbad, Davy was much surprised to see that the Goblin was much taller than he had been; in fact, he was now almost up to Davy's shoulder.
"Why, I verily believe you've been growing!" exclaimed Davy, staring at him in amazement.
"I have," said the Goblin, calmly. "But I only did it to fit these clothes. It's much handier, you see, than having a suit made to order."
"But, suppose the clothes had been too small?" argued Davy.
"Then I'd have grown the other way," replied the Goblin, with an immense smile. "It doesn't make a bit of difference to me which way I grow. Anything to be comfortable is my rule;" and as he said this they came to where Sindbad was sitting, busily stirring with his great spoon.
As Davy and the Goblin sat down beside him, Sindbad hastily put on his turban, and, after scowling at Davy for a moment, said to the Goblin, "It's no use tellinghimanything; he's as deaf as a trunk."
"Then tell it to me," said the Goblin, with great presence of mind.
"All right," said Sindbad, "I'll give you a nautical one."
Here he rose for a moment, hitched up his big trouserslike a sailor, cocked his turban on one side of his head, and, sitting down again, began:—
A capital ship for an ocean tripWas "The Walloping Window-blind;"No gale that blew dismayed her crewOr troubled the captain's mind.The man at the wheel was taught to feelContempt for the wildest blow,And it often appeared, when the weather had cleared,That he'd been in his bunk below.The boatswain's mate was very sedate,Yet fond of amusement, too;And he played hop-scotch with the starboard watchWhile the captain tickled the crew.And the gunner we had was apparently mad,For he sat on the after-rail,And fired salutes with the captain's boots,In the teeth of the booming gale.The captain sat in a commodore's hat,And dined, in a royal way,On toasted pigs and pickles and figsAnd gummery bread, each day.But the cook was Dutch, and behaved as such;For the food that he gave the crewWas a number of tons of hot-cross buns,Chopped up with sugar and glue.And we all felt ill as mariners will,On a diet that's cheap and rude;And we shivered and shook as we dipped the cookIn a tub of his gluesome food.Then nautical pride we laid aside,And we cast the vessel ashoreOn the Gulliby Isles, where the Poohpooh smiles,And the Anagazanders roar.Composed of sand was that favored land,And trimmed with cinnamon straws;And pink and blue was the pleasing hueOf the Tickletoeteaser's claws.And we sat on the edge of a sandy ledgeAnd shot at the whistling bee;And the Binnacle-bats wore water-proof hatsAs they danced in the sounding sea.On rubagub bark, from dawn to dark,We fed, till we all had grownUncommonly shrunk,—when a Chinese junkCame by from the torriby zone.She was stubby and square, but we didn't much care,And we cheerily put to sea;And we left the crew of the junk to chewThe bark of the rubagub tree.
Here Sindbad stopped, and gazed solemnly at Davy and the Goblin.
"HE PLAYED HOP-SCOTCH WITH THE STARBOARD WATCH.""HE PLAYED HOP-SCOTCH WITH THE STARBOARD WATCH."
"If you please, sir," said Davy, respectfully, "what is gummery bread?"
"It's bread stuffed with molasses," said Sindbad; "but I never saw it anywhere except aboard of 'The Prodigal Pig.'"
"But," said Davy, in great surprise, "you said the name of your ship was"—
"So I did, and so it was," interrupted Sindbad, testily. "The name of a ship sticks to it like wax to a wig. Youcan'tchange it."
"Who gave it that name?" said the Goblin.
"What name?" said Sindbad, looking very much astonished.
"Why, 'The Cantering Soup-tureen,'" said the Goblin, winking at Davy.
"Oh,thatname," said Sindbad,—"that was given to her by the Alamagoozelum of Popjaw. But speaking of soup-tureens, let's go and have some pie;" and, rising to his feet, he gave one hand to Davy and the other to the Goblin, and they all walked off in a row toward the little shell house. This, however, proved to be a very troublesome arrangement, for Sindbad was constantly stepping on his long beard and falling down; and as he kept a firm hold of his companions' hands they all went down in a heap together a great many times. At last Sindbad's turban fell off, and as he sat up on the grass, and began stirring in it again with his wooden spoon, Davy saw that it was full of broken chessmen.
"It's a great improvement, isn't it?" said Sindbad.
"What is?" said Davy, very much puzzled.
"HE GAVE ONE HAND TO DAVY AND THE OTHER TO THE GOBLIN.""HE GAVE ONE HAND TO DAVY AND THE OTHER TO THE GOBLIN."
"Why, this way of playing the game," said Sindbad, looking up at him complacently. "You see, you make all the moves at once."
"It must be a very easy way," said Davy.
"It's nothing of the sort," said Sindbad, sharply. "There are more moves in one of my games than in twenty ordinary games;" and here he stirred up the chessmen furiously for a moment, and then triumphantly calling out "Check!" clapped the turban on his head.
As they set out again for the little house Davy saw that it was slowly moving around the edge of the lawn,as if it were on a circular railway, and Sindbad followed it around, dragging Davy and the Goblin with him, but never getting any nearer to the house.
"Don't you think," said Davy, after a while, "that it would be a good plan to stand still and wait until the house came around to us?"
"Here, drop that!" exclaimed Sindbad, excitedly; "that's my idea. I was just about proposing it myself."
"So was I," said the Goblin to Sindbad. "Just leave my ideas alone, will you?"
"Yourideas!" retorted Sindbad, scornfully. "I didn't know you'd brought any with you."
"I had to," replied the Goblin, with great contempt, "otherwise there wouldn't have been any on the premises."
"Oh! come, I say!" cried Sindbad; "that's my sneer, you know. Don't go to putting the point of it the wrong way."
"Take it back, if it's the only one you have," retorted the Goblin, with another wink at Davy.
"Thank you, I believe I will," replied Sindbad, meekly; and, as the little house came along just then, they all stepped in at the door as it went by. As they did so, to Davy's amazement, Sindbad and the Goblin quietly vanished, and Davy, instead of being inside the house, found himself standing in a dusty road, quite alone.
LAY-OVERS FOR MEDDLERS.
As Davy stood in the road, in doubt which way to go, a Roc came around the corner of the house. She was a large bird, nearly six feet tall, and was comfortably dressed, in a bonnet and a plaid shawl, and wore overshoes. About her neck was hung a covered basket and a door-key; and Davy at once concluded that she was Sindbad's house-keeper.
"I didn't mean to keep you waiting," said the Roc, leading the way along the road; "but I declare that, what with combing that lawn every morning with a fine tooth comb, and brushing those shells every evening with a fine tooth-brush, I don't get time for anything else let alone feeding the animals."
"What animals?" said Davy, beginning to be interested.
"Why,his, of course," said the Roc, rattling on in her harsh voice. "There's an Emphasis and two Periodicals, and a Spotted Disaster, all crawlin' and creepin' and screechin'"—
Here Davy, unable to control himself, burst into a fit of laughter, in which the Roc joined heartily, rolling her head from side to side, and repeating, "All crawlin'and creepin' and screechin'," over and over again, as if that were the cream of the joke. Suddenly she stopped laughing, and said in a low voice, "You don't happen to have a beefsteak about you, do you?"
Davy confessed that he had not, and the Roc continued, "Then I must go back. Just hold my basket, like a good child." Here there was a scuffling sound in the basket, and the Roc rapped on the cover with her hard beak, and cried, "Hush!"
"What's in it?" said Davy, cautiously taking the basket.
"Lay-overs for meddlers," said the Roc, and, hurrying back along the road, was soon out of sight.
"I wonder what they're like," said Davy to himself, getting down upon his hands and knees and listening curiously with his ear against the cover of the basket. The scuffling sound continued, mingled with little sneezes and squeaking sobs, as if some very small kittens had bad colds and were crying about it.
"I think I'll take a peep," said Davy, looking cautiously about him. There was no one in sight, and he carefully raised the cover a little way and tried to look in. The scuffling sound and the sobs ceased, and the next instant the cover flew off the basket, and out poured a swarm of little brown creatures, like snuff-boxes with legs. As they scampered off in all directions Davy made a frantic grab at one of them, when it instantly turned over on its back and blew a puff of smoke into his face, and he rolled over in the road, almost stifled. When he was able to sit up again and look about him the empty basket was lying on its side near him, and not a lay-over was to be seen. At that moment the Roc came in sight, hurrying along the road with her shawl and her bonnet-strings fluttering behind her; and Davy, clapping the cover on the basket, took to his heels and ran for dear life.
RIBSY.
The road was very dreary and dusty, and wound in and out in the most tiresome way until it seemed to have no end to it, and Davy ran on and on, half expecting at any moment to feel the Roc's great beak pecking at his back. Fortunately his legs carried him along so remarkably well that he felt he could run for a week; and, indeed, he might have done so if he had not, at a sharp turn in the road, come suddenly upon a horse and cab. The horse was fast asleep when Davy dashed against him, but he woke up with a start, and, after whistling like a locomotive once or twice in a very alarming manner, went to sleep again. He was a very frowsy-looking horse, with great lumps at his knees and a long, crooked neck like a camel's; but what attracted Davy's attention particularly was the word "Ribsy" painted in whitewash on his side in large letters. He was looking at this, and wondering if it were the horse's name, when the door of the cab flew open and a man fell out, and, after rolling over in the dust, sat up in the middle of the road and began yawning. He was even a more ridiculous-looking object than the horse, being dressed in a clown's suit, with a morning-gown over it by way of atop-coat, and a field-marshal's cocked hat. In fact, if he had not had a whip in his hand no one would ever have taken him for a cabman. After yawning heartily he looked up at Davy, and said drowsily, "Where to?"
"To B.G.," said Davy, hastily referring to the Hole-keeper's letter.
"All right," said the cabman, yawning again. "Climb in, and don't put your feet on the cushions."
Now, this was a ridiculous thing for him to say, for when Davy stepped inside he found the only seats were some three-legged stools huddled together in the back part of the cab, all the rest of the space being taken up by a large bath-tub that ran across the front end of it. Davy turned on one of the faucets, but nothing came out except some dust and a few small bits of gravel, and he shut it off again, and, sitting down on one of the little stools, waited patiently for the cab to start.
Just then the cabman put his head in at the window, and, winking at him confidentially, said, "Can you tell me why this horse is like an umbrella?"
"No," said Davy.
"Because he's usedup," said the cabman.
"I don't think that's a very good conundrum," said Davy.
"So do I," said the cabman. "But it's the best one I can make with this horse. Did you say N.B.?" he asked.
"No, I said B.G.," said Davy.
"All right," said the cabman again, and disappeared from the window. Presently there was a loud trampling overhead, and Davy, putting his head out at the window, saw that the cabman
"THE CABMAN HAD CLIMBED UP ON TOP OF THE CAB AND WAS THROWING STONES AT THE HORSE.""THE CABMAN HAD CLIMBED UP ON TOP OF THE CAB AND WAS THROWING STONES AT THE HORSE."
had climbed up on top of the cab and was throwing stones at the horse, which was still sleeping peacefully.
"It's all right," said the cabman, cheerfully, as he caught sight of Davy. "If he doesn't start pretty soon I'll give him some snuff. Thatalwayswakes him up."
"Oh! don't do that," said Davy, anxiously. "I'd rather get out and walk."
"Well, I wish you would," said the cabman, in a tone of great relief. "This is a very valuable stand, and I don't care to lose my place on it;" and Davy accordingly jumped out of the cab and walked away.
Presently there was a clattering of hoofs behind him, and Ribsy came galloping along the road, with nothing on him but his collar. He was holding his big head high in the air, like a giraffe, and gazing proudly about him as he ran. He stopped short when he saw the little boy, and, giving a triumphant whistle, said cheerfully, "How are you again?"
It seemed rather strange to be spoken to by a cab-horse, but Davy answered that he was feeling quite well.
"So am I," said Ribsy. "The fact is, that when it comes to beating a horse about the head with a three-legged stool, if that horse is going to leave at all, it's time he was off."
"I should think it was," said Davy, earnestly.
"You'll observe, of course, that I've kept on my shoes and my collar," said Ribsy. "It isn't genteel to go barefoot, and nothing makes a fellow look so untidy as going about without a collar. The truth is," he continued, sitting down in the road on his hind legs,—"the truth is, I'm not an ordinary horse, by any means. I have a history, and I've arranged it in a popular form, in six canters,—I mean cantos," he added, hastily correcting himself.
"I'd like to hear it, if you please," said Davy, politely.
"Well, I'm a little hoarse,"—began Ribsy.
"I think you're a very big horse," said Davy, in great surprise.
"I'm referring to my voice," said Ribsy, haughtily. "Be good enough not to interrupt me again;" and, giving two or three preliminary whistles to clear his throat, he began:—
It's very confining, this living in stables,And passing one's time among wagons and carts;I much prefer dining at gentlemen's tables,And living on turkeys and cranberry tarts.I find with surprise that I'm constantly sneezing;I'm stiff in the legs, and I'm often for sale;And the blue-bottle flies, with their tiresome teasing,Are quite out of reach of my weary old tail.
"By the way," said Ribsy, getting up and turning himself around, "what does my tail look like?"
"I think," said Davy, after a careful inspection, "I think it looks something like an old paint-brush."
"So I supposed," said Ribsy, gloomily, and, sitting down again, he went on with his history:—
As spry as a kid and as trim as a spiderWas I in the days of the Turnip-top Hunt,When I used to get rid of the weight of my riderAnd canter contentedly in at the front.I never was told that this jocular featureOf mine was a trick reprehensibly rude,And yet I was sold, like a commonplace creature,To work in a circus for lodgings and food.
"I suppose you have never been a circus-horse?" said Ribsy, stopping short in his verses again and gazing inquiringly at Davy.
"Never," said Davy.
"Then you don't know anything about it," said Ribsy. "Here we go again:"—
Pray why, if you please, should a capable chargerPerform on a ladder and prance in a show?And why should his knees be made thicker and largerBy teaching him tricks that he'd rather not know?Oh! why should a horse, for society fitted,Be doomed to employment so utterly bad,And why should a coarse-looking man be permittedTo dance on his back on a top-heavy pad?
Here Ribsy paused once more, and Davy, feeling that he ought to make some sort of an answer to such a lot of questions, said helplessly, "I don't know."
"No more do I," said Ribsy, tossing his head scornfully.
It made me a wreck, with no hope of improvement,Too feeble to race with an invalid crab;I'm wry in the neck, with a rickety movementPeculiarly suited for drawing a cab.They pinch me with straps, and they bruise me with buckles,They drive me too rapidly over the stones;—A reason, perhaps, why a number of knucklesHave lately appeared on my prominent bones.
"I see them," cried Davy, eagerly; "I thought they were corns."
"Thank you," said Ribsy, haughtily. "As the next verse is the last you needn't trouble yourself to make any further observations."
I dream of a spot which I used to roam overIn infancy's days, with a frolicsome skip,Content with my lot, which was planted with clover,And never annoyed by the crack of a whip.But I think my remarks will determine the question,Of why I am bony and thin as a rail;I'm off for some larks, to improve my digestion,And point the stern moral conveyed by my tail.
Here Ribsy got upon his legs again, and, after a refreshing fillip with his heels, cantered off along the road, whistling as he went. Two large blue-bottle flies wereon his back, and his tail was flying around, with an angry whisk, like a pin-wheel; but, as he disappeared in the distance, the flies were still sitting calmly on the ridge of his spine, apparently enjoying the scenery.
Davy was about to start out again on his journey, when he heard a voice shouting "Hi! Hi!" and, looking back, he saw the poor cabman coming along the road on a brisk trot, dragging his cab after him. He had on Ribsy's harness, and seemed to be in a state of tremendous excitement.
As he came up with Davy the door of the cab flew open again, and the three-legged stools came tumbling out, followed by a dense cloud of dust.
"Get in! Get in!" shouted the cabman, excitedly. "Never mind the dust; I've turned it on to make believe we're going tremendously fast."
Davy hastily scrambled in, and the cabman started off again. The dust was pouring out of both faucets, and a heavy shower of gravel was rattling into the bath-tub; and, to make matters worse, the cabman was now going along at such an astonishing speed that the cab rocked violently from side to side, like a boat in a stormy sea. Davy made a frantic attempt to shut off the dust, but it seemed to come faster and faster, until he was almost choked, and by this time the gravel had become as large as cherry-stones, and was flying around in the cab and rattling about his ears like a little hail-storm. Now, all this was a great deal more than Davy had bargained for,and it was so very unpleasant that he presently sat down on the floor of the cab in the hope of getting a little out of the way of the flying gravel. As he did this the rocking motion became less violent, and then ceased altogether, as though the cabman had suddenly come to a stop. Then the dust cleared away, and Davy, to his surprise, found himself sitting in the road directly in front of the little house that Jack built.
The cabman and his cab had vanished entirely, but, curiously enough, the cab door was standing wide open in the wall of the house, just above the porch, and in the opening stood the red Cow gazing down upon him, and solemnly chewing, as before. The house had such a familiar look to him that Davy felt quite at home; and, moreover, the Cow seemed quite like an old acquaintance, compared with the other creatures he had met, and he was just about to begin a friendly conversation with her, when she suddenly stopped chewing, and said, "How didyouget here?"
"I came in a cab," said Davy. "We came along just behind the horse."
"People in cabs usually do," said the Cow; "leastwise I never heard of any of 'em being ahead of him."
"But this horse was running away, you know," said Davy.
"Where was the cabman?" said the Cow, suspiciously.
"He was drawing the cab," said Davy.
"What!" exclaimed the Cow,—"while the horse was running away? Oh, come, I say!"
"He was, truly," said Davy, laughing; "you never saw anything half so ridiculous."
"I certainly never did—that I can remember," said the Cow; "but then, you see, I haven't always been a cow."
"Really?" said Davy.
"Really," said the Cow, very solemnly. "The fact is, I've been changed."
"And what did you use to be?" said Davy, who was now fully prepared for something marvellous.
"A calf," said the Cow, with a curious rumbling chuckle.
"I don't thinkthat'sa very good joke," said the disappointed little boy.
"It's a deal funnier than your cab story," said the Cow. "And, what's more, it's true! Good-afternoon." And with this the Cow disappeared from the opening, and the cab door shut to with a loud bang.
Davy sat still for a moment, hoping that Mother Hubbard, or perhaps the dog, or even the cat, would appear, so that he might explain his story about the cab. None of them came; but meanwhile a very extraordinary thing happened, for the house itself began togo. First the chimneys sank down through the roof, as if they were being lowered into the cellar. Then the roof itself, with its gables and dormer windows, softly folded itself flat down upon the top of the house, out of sight. Then the cab door and the latticedwindows fluttered gently for a moment, as if rather uncertain how to dispose of themselves, and finally faded away, one by one, as if they had been soaked into the bricks. Then the porch gravely took itself to pieces and carried itself, so to speak, carefully in through the front door; and finally the front door went in itself, and nothing was left of the house that Jack built but a high brick wall, with the climbing roses running all over it like a beautiful pink vine. All this was so unexpected and so wonderful that Davy sat quite still, expecting something marvellous of this wall; but it proved to be a very matter-of-fact affair, with no intention whatever of doing anything or going anywhere, and, after watching it attentively for a few moments, Davy got up and resumed his journey along the road.
ROBINSON CRUSOE'S ISLAND.
"This is a very sloppy road," said Davy to himself, as he walked away from the Bean-stalk farm; and it was, indeed, averysloppy road. The dust had quite disappeared, and the sloppiness soon changed to such a degree of wetness that Davy presently found himself in water up to his ankles. He turned to go back, and saw, to his alarm, that the land in every direction seemed to be miles away, and the depth of the water increased so rapidly that, before he could make up his mind what to do, it had risen to his shoulders, and he was carried off his feet and found himself apparently drifting out to sea. The water, however, was warm and pleasant, and he discovered that, instead of sinking, he was floated gently along, slowly turning in the water like a float on a fishing-line. This was very agreeable; but he was, nevertheless, greatly relieved when a boat came in sight sailing toward him. As it came near, it proved to be the clock, with a sail hoisted, and the Goblin sitting complacently in the stern.
"How d'ye do, Gobsy?" said Davy.
"Prime!" said the Goblin, enthusiastically.
"Well, stop the clock," said Davy; "I want to get aboard."
"I haven't any board," said the Goblin, in great surprise.
"I mean I want to get into the clock," said Davy, laughing. "I don't think you're much of a sailor."
"I'm not," said the Goblin, as Davy climbed in. "I've been sailing one way for ever so long, because I don't know how to turn around; but there's a landing-place just ahead."
Davy looked over his shoulder and found that they were rapidly approaching a little wooden pier, standing about a foot out of the water. Beyond it stretched a broad expanse of sandy beach.
"What place is it?" said Davy.
"It's called Hickory Dickory Dock," said the Goblin. "All the eight-day clocks stop here;" and at this moment the clock struck against the timbers with a violent thump, and Davy was thrown out, heels over head, upon the dock. He scrambled upon his feet again as quickly as possible, and saw, to his dismay, that the clock had been turned completely around by the shock and was rapidly drifting out to sea again. The Goblin looked back despairingly, and Davy just caught the words, "I don't know how to turn around!" when the clock was carried out of hearing distance, and soon disappeared on the horizon.
The beach was covered in every direction with littlehills of sand, like haycocks, with scraggy bunches of sea-weed sticking out of the tops of them; and Davy was wondering how they came to be there, when he caught sight of a man walking along the edge of the water, and now and then stopping and gazing earnestly out to sea. As the man drew nearer, Davy saw that he was dressed in a suit of brown leather, and wore a high-peaked hat, and that a little procession, consisting of a dog, a cat, and a goat, was following patiently at his heels, while a parrot was perched upon his shoulder. They all wore very large linen collars and black cravats, which gave them a very serious appearance.
Davy was morally certain that the man was Robinson Crusoe. He carried an enormous gun, which he loaded from time to time, and then, aiming carefully at the sea, fired. There was nothing very alarming about this, for the gun, when fired, only gave a faint squeak, and the bullet, which was about the size of a small orange, dropped out quietly upon the sand. Robinson, for it was really he, always seemed to be greatly astonished at this result, peering long and anxiously down into the barrel of the gun, and sometimes listening attentively, with his ear at the muzzle. His animal companions, however, seemed to be greatly alarmed whenever he prepared to fire; and, scampering off, hid behind the little hills of sand until the gun was discharged, when they would return, and, after solemnly watching their master reload his piece, follow him along the beach as before.This was all so ridiculous that Davy had great difficulty in keeping a serious expression on his face as he walked up to Robinson and handed him the Hole-keeper's letter. Robinson looked at him suspiciously as he took it, and the animals eyed him with evident distrust.
Robinson had some difficulty in opening the letter, which was sopping wet, and took a long time to read it, Davy, meanwhile, waiting patiently. Sometimes Robinson would scowl horribly, as if puzzled, and then, again, he would chuckle to himself, as if vastly amused with the contents; but as he turned the letter over, in reading it, Davy could not help seeing that it was simply a blank sheet of paper, with no writing whatever upon it except the address. This, however, was so like the Hole-keeper's way of doing things that Davy was not much surprised when Robinson remarked, "He has left out the greatest lot of comical things!" and, stooping down, buried the letter in the sand. Then, picking up his gun, he said, "You may walk about in the grove as long as you please, provided you don't pick anything."
"What grove?" said Davy, very much surprised.
"This one," said Robinson, proudly pointing out the tufts of sea-weed. "They're beach-trees, you know; I planted 'em myself. I had to have some place to go shooting in, of course."
"Can you shoot withthatgun?" said Davy.
"Shoot! Why, it's a splendid gun!" said Robinson,gazing at it proudly. "I made it myself—out of a spy-glass."
"It doesn't seem to go off," said Davy, doubtfully.