Leave me go! Take yo' rusty pams offen me. I'm going on back to my work-place. I just got off to see bout y'all and look how y'all treat me.
JIM Wait a minute, Daisy. I love you like God loves Gabriel—and dat's His best angel.
DAVE Daisy, I love you harder than detthunder can bump a stump—if I don't—God's a gopher.
DAISY(Brightening) Dat's de first time you ever said so.
DAVE and JIMWho?
JIMWhut you hollering "who" for? Yo' foot don't fit no limb.
DAVE Speak when you spoken to—come when you called, next fall you'll be my coon houn' dog.
JIM Table dat discussion. (Turning to Daisy) You ain't never give me no chance to talk wid you right.
DAVE You mademefeel like you was trying to put de Ned book on me all de time. Do you love me sho nuff, Daisy?
DAISY (Blooming again into coquetry) Aw, y'all better stop dat. You know you don't mean it.
DAVEWho don't mean it? Lemme tell you something, mama, if you was mine Iwouldn't have you counting no ties wid yo' pretty lil toes. Know whutI'd do?
DAISY(Coyly) Naw, whut would you do?
DAVEI'd buy a whole passenger train and hire some mens to run it for you.
DAISY(Happily) Oo-ooh, Dave.
JIM (to Dave)
De wind may blow, de door may slamDat whut you shootin' ain't worth a dam.
(to Daisy) I'd buy you a great big ole ship—and then baby, I'd buy you a ocean to[Note: corrected missing space] sail yo' ship on.
DAISY(Happily) Oo-ooh, Jim.
DAVE (to Jim)
A long train, a short cabooseDat lie whut you shootin', ain't no use.
(to Daisy) Miss Daisy, know what I'd do for you?
DAISYNaw, whut?
DAVEI'd like uh job cleanin out de Atlantic Ocean jus for you.
DAISYDon't fool me now, papa.
DAVE I couldn't foolyou, Daisy, cause anything I say bout lovin' you, I don't keer how big it is, it wouldn't be half de truth. Y
DAVEI'd come down de river riding a mud cat and leading a minnow.
DAISYLawd, Dave, you sho is propaganda.
JIM (Peevishly) Naw he ain't—he's just lying—he's a noble liar. Know whut I'd do if you was mine?
DAISYNaw, Jim.
JIMI'd make a panther wash yo' dishes and a 'gator chop yo' wood for you.
DAVE Daisy, how come you [Note: corrected missing space] let Jim lie lak dat? He's as big a liar as he is a [Note: corrected missing space] man. But sho nuff now, laying all sides to jokes, Jim, there don't even know how to answer you. If you don't b'lieve it, ast him something.
DAISY (to Jim) You like me much, Jim?
JIM(Enthusiastically) Yeah, Daisy, I sho do.
DAVE (Triumphant) See dat! I tole you he didn't know how to answer nobocy like you. If he was talking to some of them ol' funny looking gals over town he'd be answering 'em just right. But he got to learn how to answeryou. Now you astmesomething and see how I answer you.
DAISYDo you like me, Dave?
DAVE (Very properly in a falsetto voice) Yes ma'am! Dat's de way to answer swell folks like you. Furthermore, less we prove which one [Note: corrected missing space] of us love you de best right now. (To Jim) Jim, how much time owuld you do on de chain-gang for dis 'oman?
JIMTwenty years and like it.
DAVE See dat, Daisy? Dat nigger ain't willing to do no time for you. I'dbegde judge to gimme life. (Both Jim and Dave laugh)
DAISY Y'all doin' all dis bookooing out here on de railroad track but I bet y'all crazy 'bout Bootsie and Teets and a whole heap of others.
JIM Cross my feet and hope to die! I'd ruther see all de other wimmenfolks in de world dead than for[Note: corrected missing space] you to have de tooth-ache.
DAVE If I was dead any any other woman come near my coffin de undertaker would have to do his job all over—cause I'd git right up and walk off. Furthermore, Miss Daisy, ma'am, also m'am, which wouldyouruther be a lark a flying or a dove a settin'—ma'am also ma'am?
DAISY'Course I'd ruther be a dove.
JIMMiss Daisy, ma'am, also ma'am—if you marry dis nigger over my head,I'm going to git me a green hickory club and season it over yo' head.
DAVEDon't you be skeered, baby—papa kin take keer ayou. (to Jim)Counting from de finger (suiting the action to the word) back to thethumb—start anything I got you some.
JIMAw, I don't want no more fight wid you, Dave.
DAVE Who said anything about fighting? We just provin' who love Daisy de best. (to Daisy) Now, which one of us you think love you de best?
DAISYDeed I don't know, Dave.
DAVEBaby, I'd walk de water for you—and tote a mountain on my head whileI'm walkin'.
JIM Know whut I'd do, honey babe? If you was a thousand miles from home and you didn't have no ready-made money and you had to walk all de way, walkin' till yo' feet start to rolling, just like a wheel, and I was riding way up in de sky, I'd step backwards offa dat airyplane just to walk home wid you.
DAISY (Falling on Jim's neck) Jim, when you talk to me like dat I just can't stand it. Less us git married right now.
JIMNow you talkin' like a blue-back speller. Less go!
DAVE(Sadly) You gointer leave me lak dis, Daisy?
DAISY (Sadly) I likes you, too, Dave, I sho do. But I can't marry both of y'all at de same time.
JIMAw, come on, Daisy—sun's gettin' low. (He starts off pulling Daisy.)
DAVEWhut's I'm gointer do? (Walking after them)
JIM Gwan back and hunt turkeys—you make out you so touchous nobody can't tell you yo' eye is black thout you got to run git de law.
DAVE(Almost tearfully) Aw Jim, shucks! Where y'all going?
(Daisy comes to an abrupt halt and stops Jim)
DAISYThat's right, Honey. Whereiswe goin' sho nuff?
JIM (Sadly) Deed I don't know, baby. They just sentenced [Note: corrected missing space] me to go—they didn't say where and I don't know.
DAISY How we goin' know how to go when [Note: corrected missing space] we don't know where we goin'?
(Jim looks at Dave as if he expects some help but Dave stands sadly silent. Jim takes a few steps forward as if to go on. Daisy makes a step or two, unwillingly, then looks behind her and stops. Dave looks as if he will follow them.)
DAISY Jim! (He stops and turns) Wait a minute! Whut we gointer do when we git there?
JIMWhere?
DAISYWhere we goin'?
JIMI done tole you I don't know where it is.
DAISYBut how we gointer git something to eat and a place to stay?
JIMPlay my box for de white folks and dance just like I been doing.
DAISYYou can't take keer of me on dat, not where we hafta pay rent.
JIM (Looks appealingly at Dave, then away quickly) Well, I can't helpdat, can I?
DAISY (Brightly) I tell you whut, Jim! Less us don't go nowhere. They sentenced you to leave Eatonville and youse almost a mile from de city limits already. Youse in Maitland now. Supposin' you come live on de white folks' place wid me after we git married. Eatonville ain't got nothin' to do wid you livin' in Maitland.
JIMDat's a good idea, Daisy.
DAISY (Jumping into his arms) And lissen, honey, you don't have to be beholden to nobody. You can throw dat ole box away if you want to. I know where you can get aswelljob.
JIM(Sheepishly) Doin' whut? (Looks lovingly at his guitar)
DAISY (Almost dancing) Yard man. All you have to do is wash windows, and sweep de sidewalk, and scrub off de steps and porch and hoe up de weeds and rake up de leaves and dig a few holes now and then with a spade—to plant some trees and things like that. It's a good steady job.
JIM (After a long deliberation) You see, Daisy, de mayor and corporation told me to go on off and I oughter go.
DAISYWell, I'm not going tippin' down no railroad track like a Maltese cat.I wasn't brought up knockin' round from here to yonder.
JIM Well, I wasn't brought up wid no spade in my hand—and ain't going to start it now.
DAISY But sweetheart, we got to live, ain't we? We got to git hold of money before we kin do anything. I don't mean to stay in de white folks' kitchen all my days.
JIM Yeah, all dat's true, but you couldn't buy a flea a waltzing jacket wid de moneyI'mgoing to make wid a hoe and spade.
DAISY(Getting tearful) You don't want me. You don't love me.
JIM Yes, I do, darling, I love you. Youse de one letting a spade come between us. (He caresses her.) I loves you and you only. You don't seemedragging a whole gang of farming tools into us business, do you?
DAISY (stiffly) Well, I ain't going to marry no man that ain't going to work and take care of me.
JIM I don't mind working if de job ain't too heavy for me. I ain't going to bother wid nothin' in my hands heavier than dis box—and I totes it round my neck 'most of de time. I kin go out and hunt you some game when times gits tight.
DAISY Don't strain yo'self huntin' nothin' for me. I ain't goin' to eat nobody's settin' hen. (She turns to DAVE finally.)
JIMWhut ole sittin hen? Ain't you and Lum done et up de turkeyI—I—bought?
DAISY You might of brought it, but Dave sho kilt it. You couldn't hit de side of uh barn wid uh bass fiddle.
DAVECourse I kilt it, and I kilt it for you, but I didn't kill none forLum Boger. De clean head hound!
(Daisy turns to Dave finally)
DAISY Well, I reckon you loves me the best anyhow. You wouldn't talk to me like Jim did, would you, Dave?
DAVENaw, I wouldn't say whut he said a-tall.
DAISY(Cuddling up to him) Whut wouldyousay, honey?
DAVE I'd say dat box was too heavy for me to fool wid. I wouldn't tote nothing my gun and my hat and I feel like I'm 'busing myself sometie totin' dat.
DAISY(Outraged) Don't you mean to work none?
DAVEWouldn't hit a lick at a snake.
DAISY I don't blameyou, Dave (looks down at his feet) cause toting dem feet of yourn is enough to break down your constitution.
DAVE They carries me wherever I wants to go. Daisy, you marry Jim cause I don't want to come between y'all. He's my buddy.
JIM Come to think of it, Dave, she was yourn first. You take and handle dat spade for her.
DAVE You heard her say it is all I can do to lift up dese feets and put 'em down. Where I'm going to git any time to wrassle wid any hoes and shovels? You kin git round better'n me. You done won Daisy—I give in. I ain't going to bite no friend of mine in de back.
DAISY Both of you niggers can git yo' hat en' yo' heads an' git on down de road. Neither one of y'all don't have to have me. I got a good job and plenty men begging for yo' chance.
JIM Dat's right, Daisy, you go git you one them mens whut don't mind smelling mules—and beating de white folks to de barn every morning. I don't wanta be bothered wid nothin' but dis box.
DAVE And I can't strain wid nothin' but my feets and my gun. I kin git mo' turkey gobblers, but never no job.
(Daisy walks slowly away in the direction from which she came. Both watch her a little wistfully for a minute. The sun is setting.)
DAVEGuess I better be gitin' on back—it's most dark. Where you goin, Jim?
JIMI don't know, Dave. Down de road, I reckon.
DAVEWhyncher come on back to town? Taint no use you proagin' up and down[Note: corrected missing space] de railroad track when you got a home.
JIMThey done lawed me way from it for hittin' you wid dat bone.
DAVE Dat ain't nothin'. It was my head you hit. An' if I don't keer whut dem ole ugly-rump niggers got to do wid it?
JIMThey might not let me come in town.
DAVE (Seizing Jim's arm and facing him back toward the town.) They better! Look here, Jim, if they try to keep you out dat town we'll go out to dat swamp and git us a mule bone a piece and come back and boil dat stew down to a low gravy.
JIMYou mean dat Dave? (Dave nods his head eagerly.)
DAVE Us wasn't mad wid one 'nother nohow. Come on less go back to town. Dem mullet heads better leave me be, too. (Picks up a heavy stick) I wish Lum would come tellin' me bout de law when I got all dis law inmyhands. An' de rest of dem 'gator-face jigs—if they ain't got a whole set of mule bones and a good determination they better not bring de mess up.
End of Project Gutenberg's De Turkey and De Law, by Zora Neale Hurston