In the church of the Insurgents there are many orders. To rise to the supreme passion of revolt, two conditions are indispensable: to possess the heart of a poet, and to be subdued by poverty to the yoke of ignoble labour. But many who fall short of the priesthood have yet a share of the true spirit, bestowed upon them by circumstances of birth and education, developed here and there by the experience of life, yet rigidly limited in the upshot by the control of material ease, the fatal lordship of the comfortable commonplace. Of such was Hubert Eldon. In him, despite his birth and breeding, there came to the surface a rich vein of independence, obscurely traceable, no doubt, in the characters of certain of his ancestors, appearing at length where nineteenth-century influences had thinned the detritus of convention and class prejudice. His nature abounded in contradictions, and as yet self-study—in itself the note of a mind striving for emancipation—had done little for him beyond making clear the manifold difficulties strewn in his path of progress.
You know already that it was no vulgar instinct of sensuality which had made severance between him and the respectable traditions of his family. Observant friends naturally cast him in the category of young men whom the prospect of a fortune seduces to a life of riot; his mother had no means of forming a more accurate judgment. Mr. Wyvern alone had seen beneath the surface, aided by a liberal study of the world, and no doubt also by that personal sympathy which is so important an ally of charity and truth. Mr. Wyvern’s early life had not been in smooth waters; in him too revolt was native, tempered also by spiritual influences of the most opposite kind. He felt a deep interest in the young man, and desired to keep him in view. It was the first promise of friendship that had been held out to Hubert, who already suffered from a sense of isolation, and was wondering in what class of society he would have to look for his kith and kin. Since boyhood he had drawn apart to a great extent from the companionships which most readily offered. The turn taken by the circumstances of his family affected the pride which was one of his strongest characteristics; his house had fallen, and it seemed to him that a good deal of pity, if not of contempt, mingled with his reception by the more fortunate of his own standing. He had never overcome a natural hostility to old Mr. Mutimer: thebourgeoisvirtues of the worthy ironmaster rather irritated than attracted him, and he suffered intensely in the thought that his mother brought herself to close friendship with one so much her inferior just for the sake of her son’s future. In this matter he judged with tolerable accuracy. Mrs. Eldon, finding in the old man a certain unexpected refinement over and above his goodness of heart, consciously or unconsciously encouraged herself in idealising him, that the way of interest might approach as nearly as might be to that of honour. Hubert, with no understanding for the craggy facts of life, inwardly rebelled against the whole situation. He felt that it laid him open to ridicule, the mere suspicion of which always stung him to the quick. When, therefore, he declared to his mother, in the painful interview on his return to Wanley, that it was almost a relief to him to have lost the inheritance, he spoke with perfect truth. Amid the tempest which had fallen on his life there rose in that moment the semblance of a star of hope. The hateful conditions which had weighed upon his future being finally cast off, might he not look forward to some nobler activity than had hitherto seemed possible? Was he not being saved from his meaner self, that part of his nature which tended to conventional ideals, which was subject to empty pride and ignoble apprehensions? Had he gone through the storm without companion, hope might have overcome every weakness, but sympathy with his mother’s deep distress troubled his self-control. At her feet he yielded to the emotions of childhood, and his misery increased until bodily suffering brought him the relief of unconsciousness.
To his mother perhaps he owed that strain of idealism which gave his character its significance. In Mrs. Eldon it affected only the inner life; in Hubert spiritual strivings naturally sought the outlet of action. That his emancipation should declare itself in some exaggerated way was quite to be expected: impatience of futilities and insincerities made common cause with the fiery spirit of youth and spurred him into reckless pursuit of that abiding rapture which is the dream and the despair of the earth’s purest souls. The pistol bullet checked his course, happily at the right moment. He had gone far enough for experience and not too far for self-recovery. The wise man in looking back upon his endeavours regrets nothing of which that can be said.
By the side of a passion such as that which had opened Hubert’s intellectual manhood, the mild, progressive attachments sanctioned by society show so colourless as to suggest illusion. Thinking of Adela Waltham as he lay recovering from his illness, he found it difficult to distinguish between the feelings associated with her name and those which he had owed to other maidens of the same type. A week or two at Wanley generally resulted in a conviction that he was in love with Adela; and had Adela been entirely subject to her mother’s influences, had she fallen but a little short of the innocence and delicacy which were her own, whether for happiness or the reverse, she would doubtless have been pledged to Hubert long ere this. The merest accident had in truth prevented it. At home for Christmas, the young man had made up his mind to speak and claim her: he postponed doing so till he should have returned from a visit to a college friend in the same county. His friend had a sister, five or six years older than Adela, and of a warmer type of beauty, with the finished graces of the town. Hubert found himself once more without guidance, and so left Wanley behind him, journeying to an unknown land.
Hubert could not remember a time when he had not been in love. The objects of his devotion had succeeded each other rapidly, but each in her turn was the perfect woman. His imagination cast a halo about a beautiful head, and hastened to see in its possessor all the poetry of character which he aspired to worship. In his loves, as in every other circumstance of life, he would have nothing of compromise; for him the world contained nothing but his passion, and existence had no other end. Between that past and this present more intervened than Hubert could yet appreciate; but he judged the change in himself by the light in which that early love appeared to him. Those were the restless ardours of boyhood: he could not henceforth trifle so with solemn meanings. The ideal was harder of discovery than he had thought; perhaps it was not to be found in the world at all. But what less perfect could henceforth touch his heart?
Yet throughout his convalescence he thought often of Adela, perhaps because she was so near, and because she doubtless often thought of him. His unexpected meeting with her on Stanbury Hill affected him strangely: the world was new to his eyes, and the girl’s face seemed to share in the renewal; it was not quite the same face that he had held in memory, but had a fresh significance. He read in her looks more than formerly he had been able to see. This impression was strengthened by his interview with her on the following day. Had she too grown much older in a few months?
After spending a fortnight with his mother at Agworth, he went to London, and for a time thought as little of Adela as of any other woman. New interests claimed him, interests purely intellectual, the stronger that his mind seemed just aroused from a long sleep. He threw himself into various studies with more zeal than he had hitherto devoted to such interests; not that he had as yet any definite projects, but solely because it was his nature to be in pursuit of some excellence and to scorn mere acquiescence in a life of every-day colour. He lived all but in loneliness, and when the change had had time to work upon him his thoughts began to revert to Adela, to her alone of those who stood on the other side of the gulf. She came before his eyes as a vision of purity; it was soothing to picture her face and to think of her walking in the spring meadows. He thought of her as of a white rose, dew-besprent, and gently swayed by the sweet air of a sunny morning; a white rose newly spread, its heart virgin from the hands of shaping Nature. He could not decide what quality, what absence of thought, made Adela so distinct to him. Was it perhaps the exquisite delicacy apparent in all she did or said? Even the most reverent thought seemed gross in touching her; the mind flitted round about her, kept from contact by a supreme modesty, which she alone could inspire If her head were painted, it must be against the tenderest eastern sky; all associations with her were of the morning, when heatless rays strike level across the moist earth, of simple devoutness which renders thanks for the blessing of a new day, of mercy robed like the zenith at dawn.
His study just now was of the early Italians, in art and literature. There was more of Adela than he perceived in the impulse which guided him in that direction. When he came to read the ‘Vita Nuova,’ it was of Adela expressly that he thought. The poet’s passion of worship entered his heart; transferring his present feeling to his earlier self, he grew to regard his recent madness as a lapse from the true love of his life. He persuaded himself that he had loved Adela in a far more serious way than any of the others who from time to time had been her rivals, and that the love was now returning to him, strengthened and exalted. He began to write sonnets in Dante’s manner, striving to body forth in words the new piety which illumined his life. Whereas love had been to him of late a glorification of the senses, he now cleansed himself from what he deemed impurity and adored in mere ecstasy of the spirit. Adela soon became rather a symbol than a living woman; he identified her with the ends to which his life darkly aspired, and all but convinced himself that memory and imagination would henceforth suffice to him.
In the autumn he went down to Agworth, and spent a few days with his mother. The temptation to walk over to Wanley and call upon the Walthams proved too strong to be resisted. His rejection at their door was rather a shock than a surprise; it had never occurred to him that the old friendly relations had been in any way disturbed; he explained Mrs. Waltham’s behaviour by supposing that his silence had offended her, and perhaps his failure to take leave of her before quitting Wanley. Possibly she thought he had dealt lightly with Adela. Offence on purely moral grounds did not even suggest itself.
He returned to London anxious and unhappy. The glimpse of Adela sitting at the window had brought him back to reality; after all it was no abstraction that had become the constant companion of his solitude; his love was far more real for that moment’s vision of the golden head, and had a very real power of afflicting him with melancholy. He faltered in his studies, and once again had lost the motive to exertion. Then came the letter from his mother, telling of Adela’s rumoured engagement. It caused him to set forth almost immediately.
The alternation of moods exhibited in his conversation with Mr. Wyvern continued to agitate him during the night. Now it seemed impossible to approach Adela in any way; now he was prepared to defy every consideration in order to save her and secure his own happiness. Then, after dwelling for awhile on the difficulties of his position, he tried to convince himself that once again he had been led astray after beauty and goodness which existed only in his imagination, that in losing Adela he only dismissed one more illusion. Such comfort was unsubstantial; he was, in truth, consumed in wretchedness at the thought that she once might easily have been his, and that he had passed her by. What matter whether we love a reality or a dream, if the love drive us to frenzy? Yet how could he renew his relations with her? Even if no actual engagement bound her, she must be prejudiced against him by stories which would make it seem an insult if he addressed her. And if the engagement really existed, what shadow of excuse had he for troubling her with his love?
When he entered his mother’s room in the morning, Mrs. Eldon took a small volume from the table at her side.
‘I found this a few weeks ago among the books you left with me,’ she said. ‘How long have you had it, Hubert?’
It was a copy of the ‘Christian Year,’ and writing on the fly-leaf showed that it belonged, or had once belonged, to Adela Waltham.
Hubert regarded it with surprise.
‘It was lent to me a year ago,’ he said. ‘I took it away with me. I had forgotten that I had it.’
The circumstances under which it had been lent to him came back very clearly now. It was after that visit to his friend which had come so unhappily between him and Adela. When he went to bid her good-bye he found her alone, and she was reading this book. She spoke of it, and, in surprise that he had never read it, begged him to take it to Oxford.
‘I have another copy,’ Adela said. ‘You can return that any time.’
The time had only now come. Hubert resolved to take the book to Wanley in the evening; if no other means offered, Mr. Wyvern would return it to the owner. Might he enclose a note? Instead of that, he wrote out from memory two of his own sonnets, the best of those he had recently composed under the influence of the ‘Vita Nuova,’ and shut them between the pages. Then he made the book into a parcel and addressed it.
He started for his walk at the same hour as on the evening before. There was frost in the air, and already the stars were bright. As he drew near to Wanley, the road was deserted; his footfall was loud on the hard earth. The moon began to show her face over the dark top of Stanbury Hill, and presently he saw by the clear rays that the figure of a woman was a few yards ahead of him; he was overtaking her. As he drew near to her, she turned her head. He knew her at once, for it was Letty Tew. He had been used to meet Letty often at the Walthams’.
Evidently he was himself recognised; the girl swerved a little, as if to let him pass, and kept her head bent. He obeyed an impulse and spoke to her.
‘I am afraid you have forgotten me, Miss Tew. Yet I don’t like to pass you without saying a word.’
‘I thought it was—the light makes it difficult—’ Letty murmured, sadly embarrassed.
‘But the moon is beautiful.’
‘Very beautiful.’
They regarded it together. Letty could not help glancing at her companion, and as he did not turn his face she examined him for a moment or two.
‘I am going to see my friend Mr. Wyvern,’ Hubert proceeded.
A few more remarks of the kind were exchanged, Letty by degrees summoning a cold confidence; then Hubert said—
‘I have here a book which belongs to Miss Waltham. She lent it to me a year ago, and I wish to return it. Dare I ask you to put it into her hands?’
Letty knew what the book must be. Adela had told her of it at the time, and since had spoken of it once or twice.
‘Oh, yes, I will give it her,’ she replied, rather nervously again.
‘Will you say that I would gladly have thanked her myself, if it had been possible?’
‘Yes, Mr. Eldon, I will say that.’
Something in Hubert’s voice seemed to cause Letty to raise her eyes again.
‘You wish me to thank her?’ she added; inconsequently perhaps, but with a certain significance.
‘If you will be so kind.’
Hubert wanted to say more, but found it difficult to discover the right words. Letty, too, tried to shadow forth something that was in her mind, but with no better success.
‘If I remember,’ Hubert said, pausing in his walk, ‘this stile will be my shortest way across to the Vicarage. Thank you much for your kindness.’
He had raised his hat and was turning, but Letty impulsively put forth her hand. ‘Good-bye,’ he said, in a friendly voice, as he took the little fingers. ‘I wish the old days were back again, and we were going to have tea together as we used to.’
Mr. Wyvern’s face gave no promise of cheerful intelligence as he welcomed his visitor.
‘What is the origin of this, I wonder?’ he said, handing Hubert the ‘Belwick Chronicle.’
The state of the young man’s nerves was not well adapted to sustain fresh irritation. He turned pale with anger.
‘Is this going the round of Wanley?’
‘Probably. I had it from Mrs. Waltham.’
‘Did you contradict it?’
‘As emphatically as I could.’
‘I will see the man who edits this to-morrow,’ cried Hubert hotly. ‘But perhaps he is too great a blackguard to talk with.’
‘It purports to come, you see, from a London correspondent. But I suppose the source is nearer.’
‘You mean—you think that man Mutimer has originated it?’
‘I scarcely think that.’
‘Yet it is more than likely. I will go to the Manor at once. At least he shall give me yes or no.’
He had started to his feet, but the vicar laid a hand on his shoulder.
‘I’m afraid you can’t do that.’
‘Why not?’
‘Consider. You have no kind of right to charge him with such a thing. And there is another reason: he proposed to Miss Waltham this morning, and she accepted him.’
‘This morning? And this paper is yesterday’s. Why, it makes it more likely than ever. How did they get the paper? Doubtless he sent it them. If she has accepted him this very day—’
The repetition of the words seemed to force their meaning upon him through his anger. His voice failed.
‘You tell me that Adela Waltham has engaged herself to that man?’
‘Her mother told me, only a few minutes after it occurred.’
‘Then it was this that led her to consent.’
‘Surely that is presupposing too much, my dear Eldon,’ said the vicar gently.
‘No, not more than I know to be true. I could not say that to anyone but you; you must understand me. The girl is being cheated into marrying that fellow. Of her own free will she could not do it. This is one of numberless lies. You are right; it’s no use to go to him: he wouldn’t tell the truth. Butshemust be told. How can I see her?’
‘It is more difficult than ever. Her having accepted him makes all the difference. Explain it to yourself as you may, you cannot give her to understand that you doubt her sincerity.’
‘But does she know that this story is false?’
‘Yes, that she will certainly hear. I have busied myself in contradicting it. If Mrs. Waltham does not tell her, she will hear it from her friend Miss Tew, without question.’
Hubert pondered, then made the inquiry:
‘How could I procure a meeting with Miss Tew? I met her just now on the road and spoke to her. I think she might consent to help me.’
Mr. Wyvern looked doubtful.
‘You met her? She was coming from Agworth?’
‘She seemed to be.’
‘Her father and mother are gone to spend to-morrow with friends in Belwick; I suppose she drove into Wanley with them, and walked back.’
The vicar probably meant this for a suggestion; at all events, Hubert received it as one.
‘Then I will simply call at the house. She may be alone. I can’t weigh niceties.’
Mr. Wyvern made no reply. The announcement that dinner was ready allowed him to quit the subject. Hubert with difficulty sat through the meal, and as soon as it was over took his departure, leaving it uncertain whether he would return that evening. The vicar offered no further remark on the subject of their thoughts, but at parting pressed the young man’s hand warmly.
Hubert walked straight to the Tews’ dwelling. The course upon which he had decided had disagreeable aspects and involved chances anything but pleasant to face; he had, however, abundance of moral courage, and his habitual scorn of petty obstacles was just now heightened by passionate feeling. He made his presence known at the house-door as though his visit were expected. Letty herself opened to him. It was Saturday night, and she thought the ring was Alfred Waltham’s. Indeed she half uttered a few familiar words; then, recognising Hubert, she stood fixed in surprise.
‘Will you allow me to speak with you for a few moments, Miss Tew?’ Hubert said, with perfect self-possession. ‘I ask your pardon for calling at this hour. My business is urgent; I have come without a thought of anything but the need of seeing you.’
‘Will you come in, Mr. Eldon?’
She led him into a room where there was no fire, and only one lamp burning low.
‘I’m afraid it’s very cold here,’ she said, with extreme nervousness. ‘The other room is occupied—my sister and the children; I hope you—’
A little girl put in her face at the door, asking ‘Is it Alfred?’ Letty hurried her away, closed the door, and, whilst lighting two candles on the mantelpiece, begged her visitor to seat himself.
‘If you will allow me, I will stand,’ said Hubert. ‘I scarcely know how to begin what I wish to say. It has reference to Miss Waltham. I wish to see her; I must, if she will let me, have an opportunity of speaking with her. But I have no direct means of letting her know my wish; doubtless you understand that. In my helplessness I have thought of you. Perhaps I am asking an impossibility. Will you—can you—repeat my words to Miss Waltham, and beg her to see me?’
Letty listened in sheer bewilderment. The position in which she found herself was so alarmingly novel, it made such a whirlpool in her quiet life, that it was all she could do to struggle with the throbbing of her heart and attempt to gather her thoughts. She did not even reflect that her eyes were fixed on Hubert’s in a steady gaze. Only the sound of his voice after silence aided her to some degree of collectedness.
‘There is every reason why you should accuse me of worse than impertinence,’ Hubert continued, less impulsively. ‘I can only ask your forgiveness. Miss Waltham may very likely refuse to see me, but, if you would ask her—’
Letty was borne on a torrent of strange thoughts. How could this man, who spoke with such impressive frankness, with such persuasiveness, be the abandoned creature that she had of late believed him? With Adela’s secret warm in her heart she could not but feel an interest in Hubert, and the interest was becoming something like zeal on his behalf. During the past two hours her mind had been occupied with him exclusively; his words when he left her at the stile had sounded so good and tender that she began to question whether there was any truth at all in the evil things said about him. The latest story had just been declared baseless by no less an authority than the vicar, who surely was not a man to maintain friendship with a worthless profligate. What did it all mean? She had heard only half an hour ago of Adela’s positive acceptance of Mutimer, and was wretched about it; secure in her own love-match, it was the mystery of mysteries that Adela should consent to marry a man she could scarcely endure. And here a chance of rescue seemed to be offering; was it not her plain duty to give what help she might?
‘You have probably not seen her since I gave you the book?’ Hubert said, perceiving that Letty was quite at a loss for words.
‘No, I haven’t seen her at all to-day,’ was the reply. ‘Do you wish me to go to-night?’
‘You consent to do me this great kindness?’
Letty blushed. Was she not committing herself too hastily
‘There cannot be any harm in giving your message,’ she said, half interrogatively, her timidity throwing itself upon Hubert’s honour.
‘Surely no harm in that.’
‘But do you know that she—have you heard—?’
‘Yes, I know. She has accepted an offer of marriage. It was because I heard of it that I came to you. You are her nearest friend; you can speak to her as others would not venture to. I ask only for five minutes. I entreat her to grant me that.’
To add to her perturbation, Letty was in dread of hearing Alfred’s ring at the door; she durst not prolong this interview.
‘I will tell her,’ she said. ‘If I can, I will see her to-night.’
‘And how can I hear the result? I am afraid to ask you—if you would write one line to me at Agworth? I am staying at my mother’s house.’
He mentioned the address. Letty, who felt herself caught up above the world of common experiences and usages, gave her promise as a matter of course.
‘I shall not try to thank you,’ Hubert said. ‘But you will not doubt that I am grateful?’
Letty said no more, and it was with profound relief that she heard the door close behind her visitor. But even yet the danger was not past; Alfred might at this moment be approaching, so as to meet Hubert near the house. And indeed this all but happened, for Mr. Waltham presented himself very soon. Letty had had time to impose secrecy on her sisters, such an extraordinary proceeding on her part that they were awed, and made faithful promise of discretion.
Letty drew her lover into the fireless room; she had blown out the candles and turned the lamp low again, fearful lest her face should display signs calling for comment.
‘I did so want you to come!’ she exclaimed. ‘Tell me about Adela.’
‘I don’t know that there’s anything to tell,’ was Alfred’s stolid reply. ‘It’s settled, that’s all. I suppose it’s all right.’
‘But you speak as if you thought it mightn’t be, Alfred?’
‘Didn’t know that I did. Well, I haven’t seen her since I got home. She’s upstairs.’
‘Can’t I see her to-night? I do so want to.’
‘I dare say she’d be glad.’
‘But what is it, my dear boy? I’m sure you speak as if you weren’t quite satisfied.’
‘The mater says it’s all right I suppose she knows.’
‘But you’ve always been so anxious for it.’
‘Anxious? I haven’t been anxious at all. But I dare say it’s the wisest thing she could do. I like Mutimer well enough.’
‘Alfred, I don’t think he’s the proper husband for Adela.’
‘Why not? There’s not much chance that she’ll get a better.’
Alfred was manifestly less cheerful than usual. When Letty continued to tax him with it he grew rather irritable.
‘Go and talk to her yourself,’ he said at length. ‘You’ll find it’s all right. I don’t pretend to understand her; there’s so much religion mixed up with her doings, and I can’t stand that.’
Letty shook her head and sighed.
‘What a vile smell of candle smoke there is here!’ Alfred cried. ‘And the room must be five or six degrees below zero. Let’s go to the fire.’
‘I think I shall run over to Adela at once,’ said Letty, as she followed him into the hall.
‘All right. Don’t be vexed if she refuses to let you in. I’ll stay here with the youngsters a bit.’
The truth was that Alfred did feel a little uncomfortable this evening, and was not sorry to be away from the house for a short time. He was one of those young men who will pursue an end out of mere obstinacy, and who, through default of imaginative power, require an event to declare itself before they can appreciate the ways in which it will affect them. This marriage of his sister with a man of the working class had possibly, he now felt, other aspects than those which alone he had regarded whilst it was merely a matter for speculation. He was not seriously uneasy, but wished his mother had been somewhat less precipitate. Well, Adela could not be such a simpleton as to be driven entirely counter to her inclinations in an affair of so much importance. Girls were confoundedly hard to understand, in short; probably they existed for the purpose of keeping one mentally active.
Letty found Mrs. Waltham sitting alone, she too seemingly not in the best of spirits. There was something depressing in the stillness of the house. Mrs. Waltham had her volume of family prayers open before her; her handkerchief lay upon it.
‘She is naturally a little—a little fluttered,’ she said, speaking of Adela. ‘I hoped you would look in. Try and make her laugh, my dear; that’s all she wants.’
The girl tripped softly upstairs, and softly knocked at Adela’s door. At her ‘May I come in?’ the door was opened. Letty examined her friend with surprise; in Adela’s face there was no indication of trouble, rather the light of some great joy dwelt in her eyes. She embraced Letty tenderly. The two were as nearly as possible of the same age, but Letty had always regarded Adela in the light of an elder sister; that feeling was very strong in her just now, as well as a diffidence greater than she had known before.
‘Are you happy, darling?’ she asked timidly.
‘Yes, dear, I am happy. I believe, I am sure, I have done right. Take your hat off; it’s quite early. I’ve just been reading the collect for to-morrow. It’s one of those I have never quite understood, but I think it’s clear to me now.’
They read over the prayer together, and spoke of it for a few minutes.
‘What have you brought me?’ Adela asked at length, noticing a little parcel in the other’s hand.
‘It’s a book I have been asked to give you. I shall have to explain. Do you remember lending someone your “Christian Year”?’
The smile left Adela’s face, and the muscles of her mouth strung themselves.
‘Yes, I remember,’ she replied coldly.
‘As I was walking back from Agworth this afternoon, he overtook me on the road and asked me to return it to you.’
‘Thank you, dear.’
Adela took the parcel and laid it aside. There was an awkward silence. Letty could not look up.
‘He was going to see Mr. Wyvern,’ she continued, as if anxious to lay stress on this. ‘He seems to know Mr. Wyvern very well.’
‘Yes? You didn’t miss Alfred, I hope. He went out a very short time ago.’
‘No, I saw him. He stayed with the others. But I have something more to tell you, about—about him.’
‘About Alfred?’
‘About Mr. Eldon.’
Adela looked at her friend with a grave surprise, much as a queen regards a favourite subject who has been over-bold.
‘I think we won’t talk of him, Letty,’ she said from her height.
‘Do forgive me, Adela. I have promised toto say something. There must have been a great many things said that were not true, just like this about his marriage; I am so sure of it.’
Adela endeavoured to let the remark pass without replying to it. But her thought expressed itself involuntarily.
‘His marriage? What do you know of it?’
‘Mr. Wyvern came to see mother this morning, and showed her a newspaper that your mother gave him. It said that Mr. Eldon was going to marry an actress, and Mr. Wyvern declared there was not a word of truth in it. But of course your mother told you that?’
Adela sat motionless. Mrs. Waltham had not troubled herself to make known the vicar’s contradiction. But Adela could not allow herself to admit that. Binding her voice with difficulty, she said:
‘It does not at all concern me.’
‘But your motherdidtell you, Adela?’ Letty persisted, emboldened by a thought which touched upon indignation.
‘Of course she did.’
The falsehood was uttered with cold deliberateness. There was nothing to show that a pang quivered on every nerve of the speaker.
‘Who can have sent such a thing to the paper?’ Letty exclaimed. ‘There must be someone who wishes to do him harm. Adela, I don’t believeanythingthat people have said!’
Even in speaking she was frightened at her own boldness. Adela’s eyes had never regarded her with such a look as now.
‘Adela, my darling! Don’t, don’t be angry with me!’
She sprang forward and tried to put her arms about her friend, but Adela gently repelled her.
‘If you have promised to say something, Letty, you must keep your promise. Will you say it at once, and then let us talk of something else?’
Letty checked a tear. Her trustful and loving friend seemed changed to someone she scarcely knew. She too grew colder, and began her story in a lifeless way, as if it no longer possessed any interest.
‘Just when I had had tea and was expecting Alfred to come, somebody rang the bell. I went to the door myself, and it was Mr. Eldon. He had come to speak to me of you. He said he wanted to see you, that hemustsee you, and begged me to tell you that. That’s all, Adela. I couldn’t refuse him; I felt I had no right to; he spoke in such a way. But I am very sorry to have so displeased you, dear. I didn’t think you would take anything amiss that I did in all sincerity. I am sure there has been some wretched mistake, something worse than a mistake, depend upon it. But I won’t say any more. And I think I’ll go now, Adela.’
Adela spoke in a tone of measured gravity which was quite new in her.
‘You have not displeased me, Letty. I don’t think you have been to blame in any way; I am sure you had no choice but to do as he asked you. You have repeated all he said?’
‘Yes, all; all the words, that is. There was something that I can’t repeat.’
‘And if I consented to see him, how was he to know?’
‘I promised to write to him. He is staying at Agworth.’
‘You mustn’t do that, dear. I will write to him myself, then I can thank him for returning the book. What is his address?’
Letty gave it.
‘It is, of course, impossible for me to see him,’ pursued Adela, still in the same measured tones. ‘If I write myself it will save you any more trouble. Forget it, if I seemed unkind, dear.’
‘Adela, I can’t forget it. You are not like yourself, not at all. Oh, how I wish this had happened sooner! Why, why can’t you see him, darling? I think you ought to; I do really think so.’
‘I must be the best judge of that, Letty. Please let us speak of it no more.’
The sweet girl-face was adamant, its expression a proud virginity; an ascetic sternness moulded the small, delicate lips. Letty’s countenance could never have looked like that.
Left to herself again, Adela took the parcel upon her lap and sat dreaming. It was long before her face relaxed; when it did so, the mood that succeeded was profoundly sorrowful. One would have said that it was no personal grief that absorbed her, but compassion for the whole world’s misery.
When at length she undid the wrapping, her eye was at once caught by the papers within the volume. She started, and seemed afraid to touch the book. Her first thought was that Eldon had enclosed a letter; but she saw that there was no envelope, only two or three loose slips. At length she examined them and found the sonnets. They had no heading, but at the foot of each was written the date of composition.
She read them. Adela’s study of poetry had not gone beyond a school-book of selections, with the works of Mrs. Hemans and of Longfellow, and the ‘Christian Year.’ Hubert’s verses she found difficult to understand; their spirit, the very vocabulary, was strange to her. Only on a second reading did she attain a glimmering of their significance. Then she folded them again and laid them on the table.
Before going to her bedroom she wrote this letter:
‘DEAR MR. ELDON,—I am much obliged to you for returning the “Christian Year.” Some papers were left in its pages by accident, and I now enclose them.
‘Miss Tew also brought me a message from you. I am sorry that I cannot do as you wish. I am unable to ask you to call, and I hope you will understand me when I say that any other kind of meeting is impossible.
‘I am, yours truly, ‘ADELA WALTHAM.’
It was Adela’s first essay in this vein of composition. The writing cost her an hour, and she was far from satisfied with the final form. But she copied it in a firm hand, and made it ready for posting on the morrow.
‘Between Richard Mutimer, bachelor, and Adela Marian Waitham, spinster, both of this parish’
It was the only announcement of the kind that Mr. Wyvern had to make this Sunday. To one of his hearers he seemed to utter the names with excessive emphasis, his deep voice reverberating in the church. The pews were high; Adela almost cowered in her corner, feeling pierced with the eyes, with the thoughts too, of the congregation about her.
She had wondered whether the Manor pew would be occupied to-day, but it was not. When she stood up, her eyes strayed towards it; the red curtains which concealed the interior were old and faded, the wooden canopy crowned it with dreary state. In three weeks that would be her place at service. Sitting there, it would not be hard to keep her thoughts on mortality.
Would it not have been graceful in him to attend church to-day? Would she in future worship under the canopy alone?
No time had been lost. Mr. Wyvern received notice of the proposed marriage less than two hours after Adela had spoken her world-changing monosyllable. She put in no plea for delay, and her mother, though affecting a little consternation at Mutimer’s haste, could not seriously object. Wanley, discussing the matter at its Sunday tea-tables, declared with unanimity that such expedition was indecent. By this time the disapproval of the village had attached itself exclusively to Mrs. Waltham; Adela was spoken of as a martyr to her mother’s miserable calculations. Mrs. Mewling went about with a story, that only by physical restraint had the unhappy girl been kept from taking flight. The name of Hubert Eldon once more came up in conversation. There was an unauthenticated rumour that he had been seen of late, lurking about Wanley. The more boldly speculative gossips looked with delicious foreboding to the results of a marriage such as this. Given a young man of Eldon’s reputation—ah me!
The Walthams all lunched (or dined) at the Manor. Mutimer was in high spirits, or seemed so; there were moments when the cheerful look died on his face, and his thoughts wandered from the conversation; but if his eye fell on Adela he never failed to smile the smile of inner satisfaction. She had not yet responded to his look, and only answered his questions in the briefest words; but her countenance was resolutely bright, and her beauty all that man could ask. Richard did not flatter himself that she held him dear; indeed, he was a good deal in doubt whether affection, as vulgarly understood, was consistent with breeding and education. But that did not concern him; he had gained his end, and was jubilant.
In the course of the meal he mentioned that his sister would come down from London in a day or two. Christmas was only a week off, and he had thought it would be pleasant to have her at the Manor for that season.
‘Oh, that’s very nice!’ assented Mrs. Waltham. ‘Alice, her name is, didn’t you say? Is she dark or fair?’
‘Fair, and just about Adela’s height, I should think. I hope you’ll like her, Adela.’
It was unfortunate that Richard did not pronounce the name of his bride elect quite as it sounds on cultured lips. This may have been partly the result of diffidence; but there was a slurring of the second syllable disagreeably suggestive of vulgarity. It struck on the girl’s nerves, and made it more difficult for her to grow accustomed to this form of address from Mutimer.
‘I’m sure I shall try to,’ she replied to the remark about Alice, this time endeavouring to fix her obstinate eyes for a moment on Richard’s face.
‘Your brother won’t come, then?’ Mrs. Waltham asked.
‘Not just yet, I’m afraid. He’s busy studying.’
‘To read and write, I fear,’ was the lady’s silent comment. On the score of Alice, too, Mrs. Waltham nursed a certain anxiety. The damsels of the working class are, or so she apprehended, somewhat more difficult of acceptance than their fathers and brothers, and for several reasons. An artisan does not necessarily suggest, indeed is very distinct from, the footman or even groom; but to dissociate an uneducated maiden from the lower regions of the house is really an exertion of the mind. And then, it is to be feared, the moral tone of such young persons leaves for the most part much to be desired. Mrs. Waltham was very womanly in her distrust of her sex.
After luncheon there was an inspection of the house. Adela did not go farther than the drawing-room; her brother remained with her whilst Mutimer led Mrs. Waltham through the chambers she might care to see. The lady expressed much satisfaction. The furnishing had been performed in a substantial manner, without display; one might look forward to considerable comfort at the Manor.
‘Any change that Adela suggests,’ said Richard during this tour, ‘shall of course be carried out at once. If she doesn’t like the paper in any of the rooms, she’s only got to say so and choose a better. Do you think she’d care to look at the stables? I’ll get a carriage for her, and a horse to ride, if she likes.’
Richard felt strongly that this was speaking in a generous way. He was not aware that his tone hinted as much, but it unmistakably did. The vulgarity of a man who tries hard not to be vulgar is always particularly distressing.
‘Oh, how kind!’ murmured Mrs. Waltham. ‘Adela has never ridden; I should think carriage exercise would be enough for her. We mustn’t forget your principles, you know, for I’m sure they are very admirable.’
‘Oh, I don’t care anything about luxuries myself, but Adela shall have everything she wants.’
Alfred Waltham, who knew the house perfectly, led his mother to inspect the stables, Mutimer remaining with Adela in the drawing-room.
‘You’ve been very quiet all dinner-time,’ he said, taking a seat near her and bending forward.
‘A little, perhaps. I am thinking of so many things.’
‘What are they, I wonder?’
‘Will you let me have some books about Socialism, and the other questions in which you are interested?’
‘I should think I will! You really mean to study these things?’
‘Yes, I will read and think about them. And I shall be glad if you will explain to me more about the works. I have never quite understood all that you wish to do. Perhaps you will have time when you come to see us some evening.’
‘Well, if I haven’t time, I’ll make it,’ said Richard, laughing. ‘You can’t think how glad I am to hear you say this.’
‘When do you expect your sister?’
‘On Tuesday; at least, I hope it won’t be later. I’m sure you’ll like her, you can’t help. She hasn’t such looks as you have, you know, but we’ve always thought her very fair-looking. What do you think we often call her? The Princess! That’s part because of her name, Alice Maud, and part from a sort of way she’s always had. Not a flighty way, but a sort of—well, I can’t describe it. I do hope you’ll like her.’
It was the first time Adela had heard him speak in a tone which impressed her as entirely honest, not excepting his talk of the Propaganda. Here, she felt, was a side of his character that she had not suspected. His voice was almost tender; the play of his features betokened genuine feeling.
‘I can see she is a great favourite with you,’ she replied. ‘I have no doubt I shall like her.’
‘You’ll find a good deal that wants altering, I’ve no doubt,’ he pursued, now quite forgetful of himself. ‘She hasn’t had much education, you know, till just lately. But you’ll help her in that, won’t you? She’s as good-natured as any girl living, and whenever you put her right you may be sure she’ll only thank you. I’ve wanted to have her here before, only I thought I’d wait till I knew whether—you know what I mean.
As if in a sudden gloom before her eyes Adela saw his face draw nearer. It was a moment’s loss of consciousness, in which a ghastly fear flashed upon her soul. Then, with lips that quivered, she began to talk quickly of Socialism, just to dispel the horror.
On the following afternoon Mutimer came, bringing a number of books, pamphlets, and newspapers. Mrs. Waltham had discreetly abandoned the sitting-room.
‘I don’t want to frighten you,’ he said, laying down his bundle. ‘You haven’t got to read through all these. I was up nearly all last night marking pages that I thought you’d better study first of all. And here’s a lot of back numbers of the “Fiery Cross;” I should like you to read all that’s signed by Mr. Westlake; he’s the editor, you know.’
‘Is there anything here of your own writing?’ Adela inquired.
‘No, I haven’t written anything. I’ve kept to lecturing; it comes easier to me. After Christmas I shall have several lectures to give in London. Perhaps you’ll come and hear me?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Then you can get to know Mrs. Westlake, I dare say. She’s a lady, you know, like yourself. There’s some poetry by her in the paper; it just has her initials, “S. W.” She’s with us heart and soul, as you’ll see by her writing.’
‘Is Alice a Socialist?’ Adela asked, after glancing fitfully at the papers.
Richard laughed.
‘Oh, she’s a princess; it would be too much to expect Socialism of her. But I dare say she’ll be beginning to think more now. I don’t mean she’s been thoughtless in the wrong way; it’s just a—I can’t very well describe it. But I hope you’ll see her to-morrow night May I bring her to you when she comes?’
‘I hope you will.’
‘I’m glad your brother won’t be here. I only mean, you know, I’d rather she got accustomed just to you first of all. I dare say she’ll be a bit timid, you won’t mind that?’
Adela returned to the graver subject.
‘All the people at New Wanley are Socialists?’
‘Yes, all of them. They join the Union when they come to work, and we take a good deal of care in choosing our men.’
‘And you pay higher wages than other employers?’
‘Not much higher, but the rents of the cottages are very low, and all the food sold at the store is cost price. No, we don’t pretend to make the men rich. We’ve had a good lot coming with quite mistaken ideas, and of course they wouldn’t suit us. And you mustn’t call me the employer. All I have I look upon as the property of the Union; the men own it as much as I do. It’s only that I regulate the work, just because somebody must. We’re not making any profits to speak of yet, but that’ll only come in time; whatever remains as clear profit,—and I don’t take anything out of the works myself—goes to the Propaganda fund of the Union.’
‘Please forgive my ignorance. I’ve heard that word “Propaganda” so often, but I don’t know exactly what it means.’
Mutimer became patronising, quite without intending it.
‘Propaganda? Oh, that’s the spreading our ideas, you know; printing paper, giving lectures, hiring places of meeting, and so on. That’s what Propaganda means.’
‘Thank you,’ said Adela musingly. Then she continued,—
‘And the workmen only have the advantage, at present, of the low rents and cheap food?’
‘Oh, a good deal more. To begin with, they’re housed like human beings, and not like animals. Some day you shall see the kind of places the people live in, in London and other big towns. You won’t believe your eyes. Then they have shorter hours of work; they’re not treated like omnibus horses, calculating just how much can be got out of them without killing them before a reasonable time. Then they’re sure of their work as long as they keep honest and don’t break any of our rules; that’s no slight thing, I can tell you. Why, on the ordinary system a man may find himself and his family without food any week end. Then there’s a good school for the children; they pay threepence a week for each child. Then there’s the reading-room and library, and the lectures, and the recreation-grounds. You just come over the place with me some day, and talk with the women, and see if they don’t think they’re well off.’
Adela looked him in the face.
‘And it is you they have to thank for all this?’
‘Well, I don’t want any credit for it,’ Mutimer replied, waving his hand. ‘What would you think of me if I worked them like niggers and just enjoyed myself on the profits? That’s what the capitalists do.’
‘I think you are doing more than most men would. There is only one thing.’
She dropped her voice.
‘What’s that, Adela?’
‘I’ll speak of it some other time.’
‘I know what you mean. You’re sorry I’ve got no religion. Ay, but I have! There’s my religion, down there in New Wanley. I’m saving men and women and children from hunger and cold and the lives of brute beasts. I teach them to live honestly and soberly. There’s no public-house in New Wanley, and there won’t be.’ (It just flashed across Adela’s mind that Mutimer drank wine himself.) ‘There’s no bad language if I can help it. The children ‘ll be brought up to respect the human nature that’s in them, to honour their parents, and act justly and kindly to all they have dealings with. Isn’t there a good deal of religion in that, Adela?’
‘Yes, but not all. Not the most important part’
‘Well, as you say, we’ll talk over that some other time. And now I’m sorry I can’t stay any longer. I’ve twenty or thirty letters to get written before post-time.’
Adela rose as he did.
‘If there’s ever anything I can do to help you,’ she said modestly, ‘you will not fail to ask me?’
‘That I won’t What I want you to do now is to read what I’ve marked in those books. You mustn’t tire your eyes, you know; there’s plenty of time.’
‘I will read all you wish me to, and think over it as much as I can.’
‘Then you’re a right-down good girl, and if I don’t think myself a lucky man, I ought to.’
He left her trembling with a strange new emotion, the begin fling of a self-conscious zeal, an enthusiasm forced into being like a hothouse flower. It made her cheeks burn; she could not rest till her study had commenced.
Richard had written to his sister, saying that he wanted her, that she must come at once. To Alice his thoughts had been long turning; now that the time for action had arrived, it was to her that he trusted for aid. Things he would find it impossible to do himself, Alice might do for him. He did not doubt his power of persuading her. With Alice principle would stand second to his advantage. He had hard things to ask of her, but the case was a desperate one, and she would endure the unpleasantness for his sake. He blessed her in anticipation.
Alice received the letter summoning her on Monday morning. Richard himself was expected in Highbury; expected, too, at a sad little house in Hoxton; for he had constantly promised to spend Christmas with his friends. The present letter did not say that he would not come, only that he wanted his sister immediately. She was to bring her best dress for wear when she arrived. He told her the train she was to take on Tuesday morning.
The summons filled Alice with delight. Wanley, whence had come the marvellous fortune, was in her imagination a land flowing with milk and honey. Moreover, this would be her first experience of travel; as yet she had never been farther out of London than to Epping Forest. The injunction to bring her best dress excited visions of polite company. All through Monday she practised ways of walking, of eating, of speaking.
‘What can he want you for?’ asked Mrs. Mutimer gloomily. ‘I sh’d ‘a thought he might ‘a taken you with him after Christmas. It looks as if he wasn’t coming.’
The old woman had been habitually gloomy of late. The reply she had received to her letter was not at all what she wanted; it increased her impatience; she had read it endless times, trying to get at the very meaning of it. Christmas must bring an end to this wretched state of things; at Christmas Dick would come to London and marry Emma; no doubt he had that time in view. Fears which she would not consciously admit were hovering about her night and day. She had begun to talk to herself aloud, a consequence of over-stress on a brain never used to anxious thought; she went about the upper rooms of the house muttering ‘Dick’s an honest man.’ To keep moving seemed a necessity to her; the chair in the dim corner of the dining-room she now scarcely ever occupied, and the wonted employment of her fingers was in abeyance. She spent most of her day in the kitchen; already two servants had left because they could not endure her fidgety supervision. She was growing suspicious of every one; Alice had to listen ten times a day to complaints of dishonesty in the domestics or the tradespeople; the old woman kept as keen a watch over petty expenditure as if poverty had still to be guarded against. And she was constantly visiting the Vines; she would rise at small hours to get her house-work done, so as to be able to spend the afternoon in Wilton Square. That, in truth, was still her home; the new house could never be to her what the old was; she was a stranger amid the new furniture, and sighed with relief as soon as her eyes rested on the familiar chairs and tables which had been her household gods through a lifetime.
‘Arry had given comparatively little trouble of late; beyond an occasional return home an hour or so after midnight, his proceedings seemed to be perfectly regular. He saw a good deal of Mr. Keene, who, as Alice gathered from various remarks in Richard’s letters, exercised over him a sort of tutorage. It was singular how completely Richard seemed to have changed in his judgment of Mr. Keene. ‘His connection with newspapers makes him very useful,’ said one letter. ‘Be as friendly with him as you like; I trust to your good sense and understanding of your own interest to draw the line.’ When at the house Mr. Keene was profoundly respectful; his position at such times was singular, for as often as not Alice had to entertain him alone. Profound, too, was the journalist’s discretion in regard to all doings down at Wanley. Knowing he had several times visited the Manor, Alice often sought information from him about her brother’s way of life. Mr. Keene always replied with generalities. He was a man of humour in his way, and Alice came to regard him with amusement. Then his extreme respect flattered her; insensibly she took him for her criterion of gentility in men. He supplied her with ‘society’ journals, and now and then suggested the new novel that it behoved her to read. Richard had even withdrawn his opposition to the theatre-going; about once in three weeks Mr. Keene presented himself with tickets, and Alice, accompanied by her brother, accepted his invitation.
He called this Monday evening. Mrs. Mutimer, after spending a day of fretful misery, had gone to Wilton Square; ‘Arry was away at his classes. Alice was packing certain articles she had purchased in the afternoon, and had just delighted her soul with the inspection of a travelling cloak, also bought to-day. When the visitor was announced, she threw the garment over her shoulders and appeared in it.
‘Does this look nice, do you think?’ she asked, after shaking hands as joyously as her mood dictated.
‘About as nice as a perfect thing always does when it’s worn by a perfect woman,’ Mr. Keene replied, drawing back and inclining his body at what he deemed a graceful angle.
‘Oh, come, that’s too much!’ laughed Alice.
‘Not a bit, Miss Mutimer. I suppose you travel in it tomorrow morning?’
‘How did you know that?’
‘I have heard from your brother to-day. I thought I might perhaps have the great pleasure of doing you some slight service either to-night or in the morning. You will allow me to attend you to the station?’
‘I really don’t think there’s any need to trouble you,’ Alice replied. These respectful phrases always stirred her pleasurably: in listening to them she bore herself with dignity, and endeavoured to make answer in becoming diction.
‘Trouble? What other object have I in life but to serve you? I’ll put it in another way: you won’t refuse me the pleasure of being near you for a few minutes?’
‘I’m sure you’re very kind. I know very well it’s taking you out of your way, but it isn’t likely I shall refuse to let you come.’
Mr. Keene bowed low in silence.
‘Have you brought me that paper?’ Alice asked, seating herself with careful arrangement of her dress. ‘The Christmas number with the ghost story you spoke of, you know?’
In the course of a varied life Mr. Keene had for some few months trodden the boards of provincial theatres; an occasional turn of his speech, and still more his favourite gestures, bore evidence to that period of his career. Instead of making direct reply to Alice’s question, he stood for a moment as if dazed; then flinging back his body, smote his forehead with a ringing slap, and groaned ‘O Heaven!’
‘What’s the matter?’ cried the girl, not quite knowing whether to be amused or alarmed.
But Mr. Keene was rushing from the room, and in an instant the house door sounded loudly behind him. Alice stood disconcerted; then, thinking she understood, laughed gaily and ran upstairs to complete her packing. In a quarter of an hour Mr. Keene’s return brought her to the drawing-room again. The journalist was propping himself against the mantelpiece, gasping, his arms hanging limp, his hair disordered. As Alice approached he staggered forward, fell on one knee, and held to her the paper she had mentioned.
‘Pardon—forgive!’ he panted.
‘Why, where ever have you been?’ exclaimed Alice.
‘No matter! what are time and space? Forgive me, Miss Mutimer! I deserve to be turned out of the house, and never stand in the light of your countenance again.’
‘But how foolish! As if it mattered all that. What a state you’re in! I’ll go and get you a glass of wine.’
She ran to the dining-room, and returned with a decanter and glass on a tray. Mr. Keene had sunk upon a settee, one arm hanging over the back, his eyes closed.
‘You have pardoned me?’ he murmured, regarding her with weary rapture.
‘I don’t see what there is to pardon. Do drink a glass of wine! Shall I pour it out for you?’
‘Drink and service for the gods!’
‘Do you mean the people in the gallery?’ Alice asked roguishly, recalling a term in which Mr. Keene had instructed her at their latest visit to the theatre.
‘You are as witty as you are beautiful!’ he sighed, taking the glass and draining it. Alice turned away to the fire; decidedly Mr. Keene was in a gallant mood this evening; hitherto his compliments had been far more guarded.
They began to converse in a more terrestrial manner. Alice wanted to know whom she was likely to meet at Wanley; and Mr. Keene, in a light way, sketched for her the Waltham family. She became thoughtful whilst he was describing Adela Waltham, and subsequently recurred several times to that young lady. The journalist allowed himself to enter into detail, and Alice almost ceased talking.
It drew on to half-past nine. Mr. Keene never exceeded discretion in the hours of his visits. He looked at his watch and rose.
‘I may call at nine?’ he said.
‘If you really have time. But I can manage quite well by myself, you know.’
‘What youcando is not the question. If I had my will you should never know a moment’s trouble as long as you lived.’
‘If I never have worse trouble than going to the railway station, I shall think myself lucky.’
‘Miss Mutimer—’
‘Yes?’
‘You won’t drop me altogether from your mind whilst you’re away?’
There was a change in his voice. He had abandoned the tone of excessive politeness, and spoke very much like a man who has feeling at the back of his words. Alice regarded him nervously.
‘I’m not going to be away more than a day or two,’ she said, smoothing a fold in her dress.
‘If it was only an hour or two I couldn’t bear to think you’d altogether forgotten me.’
‘Why, of course I shan’t!’
‘But—Miss Mutimer, I’m abusing confidence. Your brother trusts me; he’s done me a good many kindnesses. But I can’t help it, upon my soul. If you betray me, I’m done for. You won’t do that? I put myself in your power, and you’re too good to hurt a fly.’
‘What do you mean, Mr. Keene?’ Alice asked, inwardly pleased, yet feeling uncomfortable.
‘I can’t go away to-night without saying it, and ten to one it means I shall never see you again. You know what I mean. Well, harm me as you like; I’d rather be harmed by you than done good to by any one else. I’ve got so far, there’s no going back. Do you think some day you could—do you think youcould?’