"'Not any higher, please,' gasped the Dodo.""'Not any higher, please,' gasped the Dodo."
“Bah! I’ve a great mind never to speak to you again,” said the Doctor, disgustedly.
The other creatures now came up, and began to abuse the Dodo, too.
Fortunately, just in time to prevent a general squabble, the Eterædarium, who had not been one of the number to patronize the roundabout, returned with the information that there were some swings a little way off.
Despite their unfortunate experience on the roundabout, there was a general rush on the part of the creatures for this new attraction, and the Dodo and the Eterædarium had hard work to secure a swing for themselves.
“Shall I give you a push?” asked the Doctor, kindly, though with a curious gleam in his eye.
“Yes, please,” said the Dodo, gratefully.
“All right,” said the Doctor. “Hold tight!” And he gave a mighty shove, sending the swing high above all the others.
“It’s very—very nice,” gasped the Dodo, “but don’t push any higher, please.”
“Hold tight,” said the Doctor, relentlessly, giving another shove, harder than before.
“Oh! please—please d—don’t, or we shall be upset,” implored the Dodo, nervously, as the swing shot up into the air.
“I’ll teach you to twizzle me on the roundabout,” cried the Doctor, vindictively. “Will you ever do it again?”
"Fidge was delighted.""Fidge was delighted."
“Oh! no, n—no, never!” promised the Dodo.
“Well, one good one for the last, then,” criedthe Doctor, giving a final push, and then leaving the poor Dodo to his fate.
I don’t think that it could have been a very dreadful one, however, for a few minutes later he had joined the three children and the Palæotherium in a journey on the switchback.
Fidge, who had never been on one before, was delighted with the experience, and shouted, “Hooray! This is jolly!” as the car dashed down the steep incline.
The poor Palæotherium, however, his nerves evidently greatly unstrung by his unfortunate experience on the roundabout, was dreadfully upset, and alarmed, and, hiding his eyes, he crouched at the bottom of the car till it reached the other end, when he at once got out, and no amount of persuasion would induce him to undertake the return journey.
He had scarcely got out into the grounds again, when he met the Archæopteryx, who was carrying a strange-looking object, which he held up for the Palæotherium’s inspection.
“Your tail, I believe,” he said.
The Palæotherium gave a hasty glance at hisback, and then said, in rather a shamefaced way—
"Does this belong to you?""Does this belong to you?"
“Thank you! Yes, it is. You see, I have been obliged to wear a false one for some time; I had no idea, however, that it had become detached.” And he carefully adjusted it again, tying it on with a couple of tapes, and artfully concealing the ends.
“Our family,” he whispered, “have no tailsto speak of, and, as we look rather remarkable without them, most of us wear artificial ones; but please don’t tell the others, they are sure to make fun of me, if you do.”
“All right,” promised the Archæopteryx, kindly; “I won’t, if you don’t wish me to; but I——”
“Hist! hist!” interrupted a voice, and the Dodo, with a very scared face, peeped from behind a tree. “Whodoyou think is here?” he gasped.
“Who?” inquired the others, curiously.
“The Little Panjandrum himself,” declared the Dodo. “I have just caught sight of him up by the Palace, and he lookssoangry about something.”
CHAPTER XXI.THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM AT LAST.
“The Little Panjandrum!” exclaimed Marjorie, “Ishallbe glad to see him at last. What is he like?”
“Oh! don’t bother me about him,” cried the Dodo, impatiently; “he’s all right as Panjandrums go, I suppose, but I don’t want to get into his clutches again, I can tell you.”
“Don’t you, indeed?” remarked a voice, sarcastically. “Well, His Importance is particularly anxious to seeyouagain, anyhow.”
The Dodo gasped, and the children turning around beheld the Little Panjandrum’s Ambassador.
“Hullo! you here, too?” he continued, when he recognized them. “Well, I must say, you have been long enough bringing this wretched bird along.”
“I think you ought to be very grateful to us for having done so at all,” said Dick, boldly.“What are you going to do with him now you have got him?”
“H’m! that remains to be seen,” said the Ambassador, pursing his lips up tightly, and staring at the Dodo severely.
"'Come along,' said the Ambassador.""'Come along,' said the Ambassador."
“Come along,” he continued, catching hold of what would have been the Dodo’s ear if he had had one, but which was in reality a sort of woolly fluff growing all over his head.
“Come along, and see your friend the Little Panjandrum.”
“Leave go!” screamed the Dodo, “you hurt.”
“Rubbish!” exclaimed the Ambassador, dragging him along, “it doesn’t hurtme!”
“Oh! oh! I’ve dropped one of my gloves,” cried the Dodo, pathetically.
“If you take my advice, you’ll throw the other one away, too,” said the Ambassador; “it will only make the Little Panjandrum more angry than ever to see them.”
“They make me look so respectable,” whispered the Dodo.
“Respectable!” said the Ambassador, contemptuously; “nothing would makeyourespectable—you ridiculous object, you.”
“I think you are most un—un—ki—ki—kind,” sobbed the Dodo, “you are always pi—pi—pi—pitching into m—me, and ca—ca—calling me n—n—nasty names. It—it—it’s too bad.”
“Oh, stop that noise,” said the Ambassador, giving the Dodo’s wool a twist; “I’m ashamed of you. Ah, here comes His Importance,” he continued, as the sound of a drum was heard in the distance.
The children all eagerness to see the LittlePanjandrum, stood in a line by the side of the pathway, while the Ambassador, keeping a firm hold on the Dodo, remained by their side.
The sound of the drum drew nearer, and the children could distinguish another sound mingling with it.
The Ambassador smiled blandly, while he kept time with his foot.
Presently the children caught sight of a curious procession approaching. The Little Panjandrum, a little fat man in Oriental costume, was preceded by two attendants—one playing a kind of drum, and the other a jew’s harp, while a third attendant held an enormous umbrella over His Importance’s head. On the top of the umbrella were a number of curious signs, of which the children could not possibly imagine the meaning.
“Obbly—bobblee—wallee—bobbel—ob,” said the Ambassador, bowing three times, and dragging the Dodo’s head down with him each time.
“Flop!” replied the Little Panjandrum, and the two musicians fell on their faces.
“Um—sopelee—gumbos—galapaloo—glab,” remarked the Ambassador.
“Ploff!” said the Little Panjandrum, and the black slave at the back jigged the State Umbrella up and down several times very violently.
The Panjandrum and suite passed along.The Panjandrum and suite passed along.
“What a funny language,” whispered Marjorie. “I wonder what they are talking about?”
“Semlifee—dobbel—bingle—bingle—boff,” cried the Ambassador, lifting up one leg, while the Dodo painfully followed his example.
The Little Panjandrum gravely kicked the two musicians, who were still prostrate on the ground before him, and they immediately arose and stood on one leg each, like the Ambassador. Then His Importance himself balanced himself in the same way. The black slave at the back, whose legs were attached to those of the Little Panjandrum, imitated him.
The children were highly interested in this proceeding, when the Ambassador, without speaking, motioned them to stand on one leg each, too.
“Come on, let’s do it,” said Dick, “and see what they are going to do.”
So the three children solemnly hopped upon one foot, too.
For a moment or two no one spoke. And at last the Dodo, gasping out, “Oh! I can’t keep it up any longer,” fell to the ground, and everybody else put their leg down again.
“Ough!” said the Ambassador, in a disgusted voice. “Of course,youmust needs spoil it all. Most disrespectful behavior to the Little Panjandrum, I call it.”
“I couldn’t help it,” gasped the Dodo, apologetically.
“Oh, of course not,” said the Ambassador. “A bad excuse is better than none.”
“Well,Icouldn’t have kept it up much longer,” declared Marjorie; “could you, Dick?”
“No,” said Dick; “I can’t think what we are doing it at all for.”
“Court etiquette demands it,” said the Ambassador, importantly. “Hush! His Importance is about to speak.”
“Gobloblee! grabluff!” said the Little Panjandrum.
“Go on, Dodo,” said the Ambassador. “Gobloblee, grabluff, at once when His Importance tells you.”
The Dodo gave a sigh, and went up to the Little Panjandrum’s Umbrella and gave it a twirl. When it stopped, a little finger at the top pointed to the word “Guilty,” which was painted in large letters in one section of the Umbrella.
“Again,” said the Ambassador.
The Dodo, looking very dejected, gave theUmbrella another twirl. This time it stopped at the words “Hard labor.”
The Dodo groaned.
“Once more!” shouted the Ambassador.
For the third time the unlucky bird spun the Umbrella round, and this time it stopped at “Fine.”
“How much, your Importance?” asked the Ambassador of the Little Panjandrum.
“Cablofechee!” was the reply.
“Your gloves are forfeited,” declared the Ambassador.
The Dodo gave a despairing glance at the children, and began to remove his one glove.
“What’s he being tried for?” asked Dick, in a whisper.
“Contempt of Panjandrumosity,” said the Ambassador. “It’s a dreadful offence. All trials are conducted by means of the State Umbrella; it saves all the bother of judges and juries, you know. But, look out! the Little Panjandrum is off again.”
“Dumflopety—golopegee—gal—popo—sum—delopotomex,” remarked the Little Panjandrum,as he walked away, escorted by his retinue.
“He says that your ”hard labor” sentence is, to carry the State Umbrella in future, and that you are to commence your duties in one hour from now; in the meantime you may consider yourself at liberty till then.”
The Ambassador followed after the Little Panjandrum, and the children gathered around the poor Dodo, full of sympathy for his misfortunes.
"'Go it, Dodo!' cried the Palæotherium.""'Go it, Dodo!' cried the Palæotherium."
“Have they gone?” whispered the Prehistoric Doctor, coming forward from behind a bush, behind which he had been hiding.
“Yes,” said Marjorie. “Isn’t it a shame the poor Dodo should always be getting into hot water?”
“Never mind,” said the Doctor; “I’ve found something that will make him happy. Look here!”
The Dodo raised himself up from the ground, and gave an inquiring glance at the Doctor who held out a pair of boxing-gloves.
“Oh! what beauties!” said the Dodo. “How fat they are! Are they for me?”
“Yes, if you would like them,” said the Doctor. “I have a pair, too. Let’s try a round together—shall we?”
“All right!” shouted the Dodo, getting up excitedly, and hastily fastening on the gloves. “Now then—guard!” And he went for the Doctor furiously. The Doctor squared up, and was soon boxing as skilfully as the Dodo.
The Palæotherium and the Eterædarium, hearing the noise, came forward and joined the crowd of creatures, which by this time had collected in a ring. And amid shouts of “Go it, Dodo!” “Three cheers for the Dodo!” thefirst round concluded, the ungainly bird winning a decided victory. They were just about to begin again, when they heard a succession of piercing screams from the direction in which the lake was situated.
CHAPTER XXII.TURNED TO STONE.
“Good gracious! what’s that?” inquired the Dodo, as the screams continued.
“We’d better go and see,” said Dick, practically running off in the direction of the lake, followed by the others.
On passing the clump of trees and evergreens, which obstructed their view, they discovered the Little Panjandrum, in a great state of agitation, hiding behind the official Umbrella, his body-attendant lying prone on the ground in a state of abject fear; while the rest of the suite, having cast aside their musical instruments, were rushing away, shouting lustily.
On the opposite side of the path stood a few of the prehistoric creatures which accompanied the children on their excursion to the Crystal Palace.
They were looking at the Little Panjandrumwith a mild surprise, and seemed quite at a loss to know what all the hullabaloo was about.
The Little Panjandrum and suite are alarmed.The Little Panjandrum and suite are alarmed.
“Gulla—hubly—olla—bolee!” shouted the Little Panjandrum, pointing to the animals with his umbrella.
“Oh, they’re all right, your Importance,” said the Dodo; “they are friends of mine.”
“Friends, indeed!” exclaimed the Ambassador, coming from where he had been hiding behind a tree. “Pretty friends! What do you call the creatures?”
“Oh, there’s the Archæopteryx, you know, and the Eterædarium, and the Palæo——”
“Stop! stop!” interrupted the Ambassador, as each of the animals mentioned bowed gravely. “I absolutely decline to know creatures with names likethose. I’m sure they are not respectable, and I’m not at all sure, even now, that they are not dangerous; however, I shall know how to deal withthempresently. The penalty for alarming the Little Panjandrum is a very severe one.” And he frowned very sternly at the creatures, who looked rather uncomfortable, and waddled off in the direction of the lake, whispering together in a decidedly scared way.
“You didn’t tell me you had all these hideous objects with you,” continued the Ambassador, addressing the Dodo.
“I thought you knew,” stammered the unlucky bird; “they are prehistoric, you know,” he added, apologetically.
There was some consolation, he was allowed to wear his gloves.There was some consolation, he was allowed to wear his gloves.
“That only makes it worse,” declared the Ambassador. “In that case they ought to be dead, every one of them, ever so long ago. They have no right to be prowling about at a highly-respectable place like the Crystal Palace. No wonder there’s nobody about; they’vefrightened them away, that’s what it is. And you’re to blame as much as anybody for bringing them here.”
“I didn’t!” gasped the Dodo.
“You did,” said the Ambassador, emphatically. “You said they were your friends; so theymusthave come with you. And I’ll tell you what, in order to prevent you from picking up any more undesirable acquaintances, you shall just commence your duties as Umbrella Bearer at once,” and, untying the ribbons by which the Little Panjandrum’s attendant was attached to His Importance, the Ambassador, bringing forth a heavy pair of chains from his capacious pockets, proceeded to chain the Dodo up to the Little Panjandrum’s waistband.
The poor Dodo looked the picture of misery as the Umbrella was put into his hand.
“M—may I have m—my gloves?” he whimpered.
The Ambassador, after considering a minute, gave his consent, on the score that itmightimprove his appearance, and caused the black attendant to hunt for the missing one, which hadbeen thrown down on the ground near to the roundabout.
He soon returned with it, and the Dodo, with a delighted chuckle, put the pair on, and, after smoothing them carefully, regarded his hands very complacently, and seemed to consider having them some compensation for the degraded occupation to which he had been put.
“I’ll go now and settle the others,” declared the Ambassador. “What did you say their names were?” he inquired, sternly, of the Dodo.
The poor bird called out the names one by one, and the Ambassador carefully entered them in his pocket-book, and then stalked majestically away in the direction of the lake, while the Little Panjandrum settled himself on a gaudily-colored rug, which the black attendant carefully spread on the ground at his feet, and with a self-satisfied smile on his little round face gravely twiddled his thumbs and took no notice of anybody.
“Go and see what he does to them,” whispered the Dodo, referring to the Ambassador and the creatures.
Nothing loth, the children ran off to the lake to see what was happening. Pushing aside the bushes, they could see the Ambassador standing on the edge of the path, waving a wand in one hand, while in the other he flourished a legal-looking document.
"In the name of the Panjandrum, I command you.""In the name of the Panjandrum, I command you."
The prehistoric creatures were scrambling through the water, and getting as far away as possible on to the islands in the middle of the lake.
“All you Palæotheriums, Eterædariums, Archæopteryx,Megatheriums, Pleisiosauruses, Ichthyosauruses, and other prehistoric wretches, in the name of the Panjandrum, I command you—be turned into stone.”
When the Ambassador uttered these terrible words a most singular thing happened. In whatever attitude the creatures were they remained so; and gradually each assumed a stony and lifeless expression, and the spell or incantation which the Ambassador had pronounced had evidently taken effect.
The children were very much alarmed, and ran back to the Dodo, and in a hurried whisper informed him of what had occurred.
“Turned all the prehistoric animals into stone, has he?” said the bird, gleefully; “then I can see a splendid way out of my troubles. Wait till the Ambassador returns, and you will see some capital fun.” And the Dodo struck a rigid attitude, and remained in that position, totally disregarding the questions with which the children plied him.
CHAPTER XXIII.THE DODO”S LITTLE RUSE.
The State Umbrella, which the Dodo had been carrying, fell to the ground with a crash, and so startled the Little Panjandrum that he jumped to his feet and nervously tried to run away. The chains, however, by which the Dodo was attached to his girdle, prevented him from doing so.
The bird, with his beak in the air, and his gloves extended in a most grotesque attitude, was immovable and rigid as stone. Not a muscle moved, and the Little Panjandrum, after staring at him a moment, called out, angrily—
“Olla—balloo—calle—gablob?”
There was not the slightest movement on the part of the bird, and just then the Ambassador returned.
“Hullo! What’s the trouble?” he cried, staring at the Dodo.
“Gablobbee—balloo—olla—wobble!” said the Little Panjandrum, excitedly.
“What!” exclaimed the Ambassador, “something gone wrong with the Dodo? Here, what’s the matter with you?” he continued, giving the bird a shake.
The Dodo didn’t budge an inch, but continued in the same position, his eyes fixed in a stony stare.
“I can’t think what’s wrong with him,” declared the Ambassador, with a puzzled expression on his face.
“Perhaps he’s turned into stone, like the others,” suggested Dick, mischievously.
“Ah!” said the Ambassador, clapping his hand to his forehead in a dramatic manner; “that’swhat it is, depend upon it. Good gracious!howunfortunate. Let’s see, what did I say when pronouncing the spell?”
“Why, after mentioning most of the creatures’ names, you said, ”and all other prehistoric wretches.” I remember quite well,” said Marjorie, “because I thought at the time it was rather rude of you to call them wretches.”
“H’m! Thenhemust have been a prehistoric wretch,” said the Ambassador, absently. “Dear me! I always knew he was extinct, but I had no idea he was antediluvian as well. That accounts for a lot of things. No wonder he was eccentric.” And he gazed at the Dodo quite sorrowfully.
The Dodo was rigid, motionless.The Dodo was rigid, motionless.
“Well, well,” he resumed, “it can’t be helped now. We must make the best of a bad matter; all the talking in the world won’t restore him to life again.” And he turned to the Little Panjandrum and entered into a lengthy conversation with him in their native language, which the children could not understand in the least.
The Little Panjandrum seemed greatly distressed at the disaster which had befallen the Dodo, and, it appeared, insisted upon a monument being erected to his memory. Thereupon the Ambassador, by a brilliant inspiration, thought of the novel plan of making the bird act as his own statue.
“As he is turned into stone,” said he, “we have only to find a pedestal to put him on, and there we are.”
A little way off, a stone Cupid, rather the worse for wear, stood beside the pathway, and this, the Ambassador decided, should be removed to make way for the Dodo.
The united efforts of the Little Panjandrum’s suite (who had by this time returned, having been assured that the creatures which had so alarmed them had been rendered harmless) soon succeeded in overthrowing Cupid from his pedestal, and after a great deal of pulling, pushing, and straining, the Dodo, still posing in his grotesque attitude, was stuck up in his place.
“There must be an inscription,” said the Ambassador, and, rummaging about in hispockets, he brought forth a piece of black crayon. “The Dodo, now fortunately extinct,” he wrote in large letters, and then stood back to admire the effect.
The Dodo's Monument.The Dodo's Monument.
The Little Panjandrum beamed approval, and calling together his suite, the Black Attendantonce more raised the State Umbrella over His Importance’s head, and the tom-tom and Jew’s harp began their strange music, while the Ambassador took a hurried leave of the children, and the cortège passed out of sight. Fainter and fainter grew the sound of the instruments, and the children, somewhat alarmed at being left all alone, were half undecided whether to follow or not, when their attention was called to a smothered giggling at the back of them.
Turning around, they beheld the Dodo holding his hands to his sides, and shaking with suppressed laughter.
“Ho! ho! ho!” he laughed, dancing about on the pedestal, “haven’t I tricked them beautifully?Turned to stone! The Dodo, now fortunately extinct!Ha! ha! ha! he! he!whata lark! They’ll find I’m not so extinct as they think.” And, jumping down, he made a grimace in the direction in which the Little Panjandrum and suite had vanished.
“I think I’ve got the best of themthistime,” he continued, triumphantly.
“But come, let’s get out of this as soon as possible. You want to get to London, don’t you? Let’s start at once, if not sooner.”
“But, I say, what are we going to do for money?” said Dick. “One can’t get to London without that, you know.”
“Oh, we’ll find a way somehow,” said the Dodo, hopefully. “Come along.”
So the children all trudged back to the Palace again. Fidge, who was very glad to see his old friend the Dodo restored to life again, wouldn’t leave his side, but trotted along with him, chatting merrily.
“Ah!” said the Dodo, as they went up the steps leading into the great hall, “there’s my old friend the Missionary; perhaps he will be able to help us out of our difficulty.” And going up to the gentleman, he gave him a playful pat on the shoulder, and exclaimed, pleasantly—
“Here we are again, you see!”
The Missionary started nervously, and peered at the Dodo through his glasses.
“Oh—er—how do you do?” he cried,hurriedly, giving a rather startled glance all round him. “Are your other friends with you?”
"'You're very good,' said the Dodo.""'You're very good,' said the Dodo."
“Oh, you mean the Eterædarium, and the Palæotherium. No—they—er, they’ve met with a rather nasty accident. They’ve been turned into stone.”
“Bless me!” exclaimed the Missionary, looking greatly concerned. “You don’t say so!What an extraordinary thing to happen. I had no idea that there were any petrifying waters hereabouts.”
“Well, they’re turned to stone, anyhow,” said the Dodo, “down by the lake there. It’s rather awkward for us, you see, because we can’t stop here forever by ourselves, and we haven’t any money to get home with.”
“My dear Sir,” said the Missionary, generously taking out his purse, “can I be of any assistance to you?”
“It’s very kind of you,” said the Dodo.
“Not at all,” cried the Missionary, heartily, pressing some money into the Dodo’s glove, which, of course, immediately fell off and disconcerted the Missionary very much, while the Dodo scrambled about and picked up the scattered coins.
The children thought it very kind of the Missionary to lend them the money, and Dick and Marjorie went up to him and thanked him very politely; and then, having done this, the whole party hurried off to the train.
CHAPTER XXIV.FIRST CLASS TO LONDON.
The railway station at the Crystal Palace was soon reached, and the Dodo went boldly up to the booking-office and demanded some tickets for London.
The Ticket-clerk, who could only see the top of the Dodo’s head, very naturally mistook him for an old gentleman without his hat, and inquired, politely, “What class, Sir?”
This was a puzzler, and the Dodo went back to Dick and told him that the gentleman in the office wanted to know what class they were in.
“What does he mean?” asked Dick.
“What class you’re in at school, I suppose,” said the Dodo, doubtfully.
“Why, I’m in the fourth form,” said Dick; “but I don’t see what he wants to knowthatfor, unless—Oh yes, of course, I see—he wants to find out how old we are, because up to twelve years of age you can travel half-price, you know. Let’s see—we only want halves, Marjorie andFidge and myself; you’ll have to get a whole ticket, I suppose, though I have seen a notice at a railway station somewhere, on which it stated, ”Soldiers and Dogs half-price.” Perhaps it applies to birds, too. You had better ask, I think.”
So the Dodo went back to the booking-office again and inquired, “Do birds travel half-price?”
“Birds!” exclaimed the Booking-clerk. “Nonsense! There is no charge for birds, unless you have a quantity,” he added, as an afterthought. “How many have you?”
“Oh, there’s only one,” said the Dodo.
“Take it in the carriage with you, no charge,” said the Clerk.
“Thanks! It’s awfully kind of you,” said the Dodo. “I’ll take three half-tickets for London, then, please.”
“First class?” inquired the Clerk.
“No! Fourth form, please,” said the Dodo.
“You mean fourthclass, I suppose,” said the Clerk, laughing; “but thereisno fourth class, you know. First, second, or third.”
“Oh! then I’ll have third; I suppose that’s the best?” cried the Dodo.
"You can't take that into the carriage with you.""You can't take that into the carriage with you."
“No,” explained the Clerk, “first class is best.”
“What a funny arrangement,” said the Dodo.“I should have thought the third would have been an improvement on the first; but, however, let’s have the first-class tickets, please. When does the train start?”
“There’s one due in directly,” said the Clerk. “Down the steps on the right.”
And the Dodo, collecting his change, and grasping his tickets, marched off towards the barrier.
The Clerk, whose curiosity was aroused by the strange questions which had been addressed to him, came to the window to have a better view of his interrogator, and was just in time to catch sight of the Dodo walking off with the three children.
“Well, I never!” he exclaimed, perfectly astounded at this strange sight. “And he asked if birds traveled at half-price, too! Well, I’ve had some odd customers here at the Crystal Palace, but never a one like that before.” And he went back to his work in a highly-bewildered frame of mind.
Meanwhile the Dodo and the children, finding no one at the barrier to obstruct them,went down to the platform, and a moment later the train came dashing into the station.
“First class in the middle of the train,” shouted Dick, grasping Fidge’s hand, and hurrying down the platform.
“Here! where are you going to with that bird?” shouted a voice behind them, and Dick and the Dodo turned around and walked slowly back to where the Guard, an elderly and very important-looking man, stood regarding them sternly.
“Oh, it’s all right; the gentleman up-stairs said there was no charge for birds,” explained the Dodo, importantly, thinking that the man was inquiring about his ticket.
“H’m! sort of a big parrot, I suppose, Sir?” said the Guard, addressing Dick, and not taking the slightest notice of the Dodo’s remark.
“Parrot, indeed!” shouted the bird, indignantly. “Perhaps you haven’t noticed my gloves and necktie?”
The Guard smiled indulgently. “Talks well, Sir,” he said to Dick, “but you can’t takethatinto the carriage with you, you know. Better put him in the van.”
All crowded around, anxious to catch a glimpse.All crowded around, anxious to catch a glimpse.
“How dare you?” said the Dodo. “You’ll do nothing of the sort, I can tell you.” And despite the protests of the Guard he strutted up the platform and entered a first-class carriage, followed by the children.
There was no further time for argument, as the train was even now late in starting; so the Guard blew his whistle and waved his flag, and, after an answering toot from the engine, they were off.
They had the carriage all to themselves, and a moment or two after starting Marjorie discovered that somebody had left a little illustrated Magazine on one of the seats.
They all crowded round to look at the pictures, and presently the Dodo exclaimed, excitedly—
“Hullo! Look here! Why, here’s a situation that would just suit me:—”Typewriter wanted; must be quick and accurate, and of undoubted respectability. Hours, nine till six. Liberal salary to suitable person.—Apply to A. B. C., Suffolk House, Norfolk Street, Strand.” It’s the very thing! With the liberal salary, I shall be able to take a house somewhere in London, and we can all live together, and have the jolliest larks. We’ll keep a horse and trap, you know, and I’ll buy you each a bicycle, and we’ll go to the Pantomime every evening, andto Madame Tussaud’s, and the Zoo, and the Tower of London, and Masklyne and Cook’s, and other things every day—and—and——” he went on breathlessly.
“But do you know how to do typewriting?” asked Dick, dubiously.
“Well—er, not exactly,” admitted the Dodo; “but,” he added, hopefully, “I can soon learn, you know; and, besides, the advertisement fits me exactly. I’m sure I’m quick and accurate; and as for my respectability, look at my gloves! I’m sure any one would engage me directly they saw what a superior person I was.”
“How much do you think the salary will be?” asked Marjorie.
“Oh, I don’t know. I suppose they’ll be glad to pay me anything I like to ask,” replied the Dodo, “and I shall be sure to ask enough, you may be certain of that.”
“But how are we to get to Norfolk Street, Strand?” persisted Marjorie. “We don’t know where it is.”
“Father said, that if we were ever lost, we were to jump into a cab, and ask to be driven towherever we wanted to go,” suggested Dick, practically.
"Kept the cabby highly amused.""Kept the cabby highly amused."
“Of course,” said the Dodo, “just what I intended doing.” And then he rattled on about what he should do, and buy, when he got thesituation, till at last the train stopped, and the Porter shouted out, “Victoria!”
They all hurried out, and, disregarding the curious glances which their unusual appearance excited, made their way to the nearest hansom, and asked to be driven to Norfolk Street.
There was some little difficulty at first, as to how they should all find room in the cab, but it was finally decided that the Dodo should sit on the top, while the three children managed to find room inside.
The Dodo, from his elevated position, had a capital view of everything of interest which they passed, and kept the cabby highly amused by his exceedingly naïve remarks about them all; while, to every exclamation of surprise or derision, which met them on every side from astounded street boys, the remarkable bird had something droll and amusing to say in reply. In fact, the driver declares to this day, that he never before or since has had so extraordinary a fare.
CHAPTER XXV.THE DODO OBLIGES WITH A SONG.
“Hold hard! Stop! Here we are!” cried the Dodo, soon after they had reached Charing Cross. “There’s A. B. C.”
“We haven’t got to Norfolk Street yet,” said the cabby.
“Never mind, there’s A. B. C., and that’s who I want,” declared the Dodo, scrambling down from the roof. “You stay in the cab till I come back,” he called out to the children, smoothing his gloves and settling his tie as he walked towards the door.
The children watched him enter, and through the glass door of the shop—for it was a shop into which he had gone—saw him engaged in a lengthy conversation with a young lady, who at first seemed afraid of him; but, some more ladies coming up, they closed around the bird, and seemed to be highly amused at something,while the Dodo grew more and more excited, waving his pinions about, and stamping his claws furiously, and finally rushing out of the shop and slamming the door too violently.
“I never heard of such impertinence,” he declared, puffing and blowing in his excitement, “putting up A. B. C., when they are nothing of the sort. They wanted to tell me that they have a right to use those letters, because they are the Aerated Bread Company. What rubbish! They might as well stick up X. Y. Z. Who’s to know what’s meant? Aerated Bread Company, indeed! It might as well have stood for Antediluvian Bottlewashing Company. Bah! I’ve no patience with such nonsense.” And in a highly-ruffled state of mind he scrambled back to his place on the roof, and told the cabby to drive on to Norfolk Street.
After a few minutes’ ride they stopped outside a handsome building, and the Dodo once more alighted, and went up the steps to where a man in brown livery, with gilt buttons, stood by the lift.
“Are you A. B. C.?” demanded the Dodo,posing in what he evidently took to be a dignified attitude.
“N—no—second floor!” gasped the astonished attendant.
“Dear me, what a bother,” said the Dodo. “Just go and tell him I’m here, will you?” he said; “I’ve come about the situation, you know.”
“Oh!” said the man, “you’d better go up; there are several applicants already.”
“Bless me!” cried the Dodo, in alarm. “I’d better hurry then.”
“Will you go up in the lift—er—Sir?” asked the attendant.
“What’s that?” demanded the Dodo.
“Oh, get in, and you’ll see,” said the man, unceremoniously, pushing the bird into the lift, and getting in after him.
He pulled the rope, and up they went, the Dodo sinking to the ground with a ridiculous sprawl as the lift ascended.
“Oh! Oh! Stop!” he screamed, shrilly.
But the lift went till the second floor was reached, when the attendant opened the door, and bundled the bird out into the passage.
“Second door on the left,” he called out, and, pulling the string, was soon out of sight again.
“Good gracious!” gasped the bewildered Dodo, “I was never so bustled about before in all my life. But now for this A. B. C., whoever he is. I mustn’t lose the situation if I can help it.”
The second door on the left was soon found, and the Dodo knocked with his beak.
A small youth appeared, who at first seemed rather alarmed, but presently exploded into a half-stifled laugh. “My hat!” he exclaimed. “Here’s a go! Why, blessed if it ain’t a bird with gloves on—and a tie—oh! what a lark!”
“No,” said the Dodo, with dignity, “not a lark—your education must have been sadly neglected, my good boy—I’m a Dodo, ortheDodo, in fact.”
“Well, I never!” said the boy, “if it isn’t talking!”
“Of course. Why not?” demanded the Dodo.
“Oh! oh! this is too good! What may your business be, Mr.—er—Dodo?”
“I’ve come about the situation,” said the bird, smoothing his gloves consequentially.
The boy exploded into a fit of laughter. “Oh, come in!” he cried. “This is better than a circus—come in—I’ll tell the Governor you’re here.” And the Dodo was ushered into a room where two or three gentlemen were sitting at high desks.
“Who is it, Perkins?” said one of the gentlemen.
“Some one about the situation, Sir,” said Perkins, stuffing his handkerchief into his mouth to prevent himself laughing aloud.
The gentlemen all turned around and stared at the Dodo.
“Why, it’s a bird!” cried one.
“Of course it is; what else did you expect I was?” said the Dodo. “Are you A. B. C.?”
“No—no,” stammered the man. “I’m the Head Clerk, though, and—I——”
“I’ve no time to waste with Head Clerks,” said the Dodo. “Just go and tell A. B. C. I’m here, will you?”
“But er——”
At this moment an inner door opened, and another gentleman stepped into the room.
“Whatever is all this noise——” he began, when he caught sight of the Dodo.