“Quanquam choreis aptior et jocisLudoque dictus, non sat idoneusPugnis ferebaris, sed idemPacis eras mediusque belli.”Tho’ thou more apt for love than furious war,And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care,Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join,Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine.1.Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.2.Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch. 35.3.Scaligeriana, p. 169.4.L. ii. ch. 2.5.Orat. ii. Philip.6.Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.7.Sueton. in Vit. August.8.Lib. ii. Od. 19.CHAP. XXV.BURLESQUE, RIDICULOUS, AND OUT-OF-THE-WAY THOUGHTS, AGAINST DRUNKENNESS.Itis reported that Gerson should say, That there was no difference between a man’s killing himself at one stroke, or to procure death by several, in getting drunk.Somebody has burlesqued this verse of Ovid1:—Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.1aAnd thus changed it,Vina parant asinos, faciuntque furoribus aptos.Cyneas2alluding to those high trees to which they used to fasten the vines, said one day, discoursing on wine, that it was not without reason that his mother was hanged upon so high a gibbet.“3The diversion that people took heretofore in making one another drunk, appeared more heinous to St. Augustine than an assassination, for he maintained, that those who made any one drunk, did him greater injury than if they had given him a stab with a dagger.“A Greek4physician once wrote a letter to Alexander, in which he begged him to remember, that every time that he drank wine, he drank the pure blood of the earth, and that he must not abuse it.“5Some poets say, that it was the blood of the gods wounded in their battle with the giants.“6The Severians in St. Epiphanius, hold, that it was engendered by a serpent, and it is for that reason that the vine is so strong. And the Encratites, in the same author, imagine to themselves that it was the gall of the devil.“Noah7in an hour of drunkenness,” says St. Jerom, “let his body be seen naked, which he had kept covered for six hundred years.”1a.Ovid,Ars Amatoria237.1.Sphinx Theol. p. 682.2.Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.3.Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.4.Androcydes.5.Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett. 29.6.Lib. i. Heres. 47.7.Ep. ad Ocean.CHAP. XXVI.A RIDICULOUS AVERSION THAT SOME HAVE TO WINE.Anaversion to wine is a thing not very common; and there are but a very few but will say with Catullus:—“At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymphæVini pernicies.”aPernicious water, bane to wine, be gone.One should certainly be very much in the wrong to put in the number of those who had an aversion to wine the duke of Clarence. His brother, Edward the Fourth, prejudiced with the predictions of Merlin, as if they foretold, that one day that duke should usurp the crown from his children, resolved to put him to death, he only gave him the liberty to choose what death hewould die of. The duke being willing to die a merry death, chose to be drowned in a butt of Malmsey. Not unlike him on whom this epigram was made.“1In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret;Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim.”In a full glass of wine expir’d a fly;So, said Oeneus, would I freely die.But let us come in earnest to those who have really had an antipathy to wine. Herbelot2, in his Bibliotheque Orientale, says, that there are some Mussulmans so superstitious, that they will not call wine by its true name, which is Schamr and Nedibh; and that there are some princes amongst them that have forbidden the mentioning of it by express laws. The reason of all this is, the prohibition of Mahomet to his followers, which enjoins them not to drink wine. The occasion of which prohibition is as follows: “3They say, that passing one day through a village,and seeing the people in the mirth of wine embracing and kissing one another, and making a thousand protestations of friendship, he was so charmed with the sight, that he blessed the wine, as the best thing in the world. But that, at his return, observing the same place full of blood, and having been informed, that the same men whom he had seen before so merry, had, at last, changed their mirth into rage, and been fighting with their swords, he recalled his benediction, and cursed wine for ever, on account of the bad effects it produced.”It is one of the chief commandments amongst the Siameze, to drink no wine, nor any liquor that will procure drunkenness4.“5Drunkenness is detested in most parts of hot countries. It is looked upon there as infamous. The greatest affront you can give a Spaniard, is to call him drunkard. I have been assured, continues M. Bayle, a servant, if his master should call him so, might bring his action at law against him, and recover damages, thoughany other name he will suffer very patiently, and without any right of complaint of being injured in his reputation, as rogue, hang-dog, b——, &c.”Empedocles, we may well conclude, loved wine, which he called, Water putrified in wood.6Amongst the Locrians, Seleucus had such an aversion to wine, that he forbad any one to drink it under pain of death, or even give it to the sick.Apollonius Thyanæus never drank any wine, no more than St. Fulgentius, bishop, S. Stephen, king of Poland, and cardinal Emeri.“7The Severians, disciples of Severus, in the time of pope Sotherus, condemned absolutely wine, as a creature of the devil.”8The emperor Frederick the Third, seeing his wife barren, consulted the physicians upon the case; who told him, that if the empress would drink wine she might be fruitful. But he toldthem, like a simpleton as he was, That he had rather his wife should be barren and sober, than be fruitful and drink wine. And the empress, being informed of the wise answer of the imperial ninny-hammer, her husband, said full as wisely, That if she was to be put to her choice, to drink wine or die, she should make no manner of hesitation, but prefer death.De nimia sapientia libera nos domine.a.Catullus XXVII.5-6.1.Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.2.Page 777.3.Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.4.Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.5.Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.6.Ælian, lib. ii. ch. 33.7.Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.8.Rec. choise d’Hist.CHAP. XXVII.RIGOROUS LAWS AGAINST WINE AND DRUNKENNESS.Itis easy to imagine, that princes who did not love wine themselves, would make very rigorous laws against drunkenness, and fall into that fault which Horace speaks of.Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt.aBut this maxim,Nullum violentum durabile, has been verified a great many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws made against it have not long subsisted.Pentheus1, king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains.Lycurgus2, king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the country to be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He also made laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad ones that he instituted. As,I.The using women in common.II.The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals.“Pittacus3, one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a doublepunishment. And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which condemned to death the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the Indians, who only just touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, the law commands, that the woman who killed one of their kings, should get drunk, and marry his successor.”4The Athenians had also very severe laws against those that should get drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of Draco, which were written rather with blood than ink.We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut5tells us several particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walkedin that manner about the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, he sent him to prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day he met in the streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually made at the approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince whose presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all things returned to their former condition.However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet the IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of wine. The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were remembered, and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, who saw his seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of wine, and whose fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing his principal favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely the use of wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, to send it out of town. The same extended all over the empire.The sultan condemned to death those who should violate this decree, in which he spoke of wine as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to destroy the souls of men, to disturb their reason, and put states into combustion. This was rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, that it cost the ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of Constantinople, great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get leave to make only as much wine as would suffice for their own families. At Smyrna, the officers of the grand seignior had not the same indulgence for the christians, who were one whole year without wine; and it was with great difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles of the Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; for this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the grand seignior. But in about a year’s time its severity was somewhat remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leaveto make wine within themselves; and about a year after that, the indulgence for wine was general, the taverns were opened, and at this day that liquor is as common as it was before.a.Horace,SatireI.ii.24.1.Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.2.Hist. 7 Sap.3.Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.4.Hist. 7 Sap.5.See his Turkish Hist.CHAP. XXVIII.RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GETTING DRUNK. I. NOT TOO OFTEN. II. IN GOOD COMPANY.Toavoid the disorders that drunkenness might cause, here are some rules that ought to be observed in this important affair of getting drunk; for, according to Pliny, the art of getting drunk has its laws.Hæc ars suis legibus constat.aI. The first, and principal of these, is not toget drunk too often. This is what Seneca1recommends very much. “You must not,” says he, “do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it is but only sometimes you should make your spirits gay in banishing gloomy sobriety.”And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one shall do it often. I deny the consequence, and say in the words of the philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, thatAb actu ad habitum non valet consequentia.II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is to say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and where there is good wine. For example, a man in former times would have done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian2reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, and tigers, which always tore to piecessome of them. On the other hand, the best wine in the world will taste very bad in bad company. It is therefore that Martial reproaches one, that he spoiled his good wine with his silly babbling.——————Verbis mucida vina facis.2aa.Pliny,Natural HistoryXIV.50 (or XIV.xxviii.146).1.De Tranquillitate.2.Ælius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.2a.Martial VIII.vi.4.CHAP. XXIX.THIRD RULE, WITH GOOD WINE.Whenone has a mind to get drunk, one should make choice of good wine, and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to health. For example, green wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin1, a great punster, has expressed in theseverses, which, I own, I am not able to put into English:—“Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop osDes corps humains ruez envers en versDont un quidam apre aux pots a proposA fort blâmé les tours pervers en vers.”Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus2preserved himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper season.You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its perfection, the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have these four properties, and please these four senses:— the taste by its savour, the smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright colour, and the ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine was looked upon to be the best by the ancients.A beauty, when advanc’d in age,No more her lovers can engage;But wine, the rare advantage, knows,It pleases more, more old it grows.And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, have the wine older than they were.Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, ut non ante se genita potaret3. Which these words of Seneca4also confirm, “Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself?Cur apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur.”Martial says, “Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was before there were any consuls in the world.“De sinuessanis venerunt massica prælis:Condita quo quæris consule? nullus erat.”4aAt present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, that of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. The story is this, and it is related in Lassell’s Travels:—A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to ride before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door ofthe inn (in order to save time) the wordEST. Coming to Monte Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down,Est, Est, Est, which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that he went no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the cathedral church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the purveyor.Est, Est, Est,etPropter nimium Est,Herus meus Dominus Abbasmortuus Est.The wine called Lachrymæ Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most delicious wine. At least a master of arts of the university of Cologn thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place pretty heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried out,Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria.I wish Christ had shed tears in our country.M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for one’s health.Theregrowsalso most excellentwinesin France, such as Champagne.Wenceslaus5, king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into France on account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived at Rheins in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found the wine so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in that condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking.The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to Champagne. “Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the gods6.”The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S. Evremont7says, that Leo the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. king of England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most important affairs ofstate, to take care to have the wines of Ai. Henry IV. caused himself to be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse.But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin8says very pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them.1.Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.2.Journ. des Sçav. June, 1706.3.Plin.Natural HistoryXIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).4.De Vit. beat. c. 17.4a.Martial XIII.111.5.Journ. de Sçav. June, 1706.6.Patimana, p. 34.7.Lett. S. Evrem.8.Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.CHAP. XXX.FOURTH RULE, AT CONVENIENT TIMES.Thoughone must not get drunk every day, one may, notwithstanding, on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend the mind.Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.aAnd when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns fool in affecting to be wise.There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, that is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some times which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, [hiccup, ki——book;] a parsonin the pulpit; an experimental philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; nor a freemason on the top of a church-steeple.But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public rejoicing after a signal victory.When the proud Gaul sustain’d an overthrowBy the immortal MARLBOROUGH,Ever invincible! then you and I,My Thirsis, shar’d the common joy.Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song,The day tho’ short, the night was long,Till both with mighty claret glow’d,And tipsy, to our beds were shew’d.We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a long while.Here ’tis——O welcome, flask divine,How bright does thy vermillion shine!Thou charming native of Dijon1,At thy approach my cares are flown,Sad melancholy is no more,Which rack’d and plagu’d my soul before.Whether thy influence incites,(Sweet influence) to soft delights;Or else dost other measures keep,And gently urge to peaceful sleep.O may’st thou still such streams bestow,Still with such ruddy torrents flow.Damon, this bottle is your due,And more I have in store for youUnder the sun the faithfullest friend;I’ve kept them for no other end.Drink then a bumper, ’tis a folly,Dear Damon, to be melancholy.However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they permitted it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man said to his father in presence of the people. “2No father,” says he, “I have no reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine than ordinary at a feast with my companions.”Non est res qua embescam, Pater, si die festo inter æquales largiore vino fui usus.The Persian soldiers, who otherwise livedvery soberly, were permitted to get drunk once a year3.In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal holidays, as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a christian, and ought to be excommunicated.4So that, according to this, getting drunk at certain convenient times amongst these christians, was so far from being unlawful, that a man was not looked upon to be orthodox, without he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very orthodox.a.Horace,OdesII.x.19-20.1.Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.2.Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.3.Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.4.Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.CHAP. XXXI.FIFTH RULE, TO FORCE NO ONE TO DRINK.Itis very ridiculous and unreasonable to force any one to drink, because the taking away liberty spoils company, the benefit of which cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every man’s capacity of drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a gallon, and another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, has drank as much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, because they both have drank as they can, and———Ferdinando———No man can do more than he can do. Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as he pleases, without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. I am of the same opinion in this matter with brother Horace:———————Prout cuiq; libide estSiccat inequales calices conviva solutusLegibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortisPocula, seu modicis humescit lætius——aWe learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom.Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to drink.Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M. Peyren gave to Raphael Thorius, a very learned person, who would force him to drink, which take as follows. “1M. Peyren dining at London with several persons of learning, could not be discharged from drinking a health that Dr. Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, which M. Peyren, for that reason, a long while refused, and alleged a thousand reasons, but all in vain; he must empty the glass. Before he did it he made this agreement with his antagonist, that he should drink a health afterwards that he should toast to him; which being consented to, he took off the bumper, and filled the glass full of water, and drank it off to thedoctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole day drinking that cursed bumper.”This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, “2after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in Frankfort, with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the sideboard, where one of them began the emperor’s health. This he must drink, and as he foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be attended with others, he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to be brought to him, and having eaten half of one to the health of the king of France, he gave the other half to the other, who took it, indeed, but would not so much as put it to his mouth. The company surprized at so unexpected a novelty, let him alone without any contradiction.”Nevertheless, one should be very diligent inobserving this rule, which is, That when we find ourselves in the company of people that drink, and would not run those lengths they are going to do, to retire; and this was a standing law amongst the Greeks in their festivals, and ought to be as unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, viz.DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.a.Horace,SatiresII.6.67-70.1.Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.2.Chevræana, t. ii. p. 188.CHAP. XXXII.SIXTH RULE, NOT TO PUSH DRUNKENNESS TOO FAR.Itis certain, that to do well, we ought continually to have an eye to this maxim of Horace, viz.Est modus in rebus. And theNe quid nimisof Terence; but especially, in this grand and most important affair of drunkenness.Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, one which entirelyburiesour reason; and the other, which onlydivertsmelancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very lawful; but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not onlyto divert, but todrive awayour cares entirely, or else not to get drunk at all. That which is between these, if any such there can be, does one an injury, according to the poet:—Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curasEripiat, si quæ est inter utramque nocet.aAfter this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; that is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, and so as to forget our cares.It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it was never the intention of this work, but to divert (as wine was designed to do) and make merry, I shall therefore conclude the whole with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:—a.Ovid,Remedium Amoris809-810.AN ODE TO BACCHUS.I.Let’ssing the glories of the god of wine,May his immortal praiseBe the eternal object of our song,And sweetest symphonies; may ev’ry tongueAnd throat sonorous, vocal music raise,And ev’ry grateful instrument combineTo celebrate, great god, thy power divine.Let other poets to the world relate,Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate;And in immortal song rehearse,Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain;The glorious hist’ry of Achilles slain,And th’ odious memory of Pelop’s sons revive in verse.II.God of the grape, thou potent boy,Thou only object of our cordial vows,To thee alone I consecrate my heart,Ready to follow thee in ev’ry part:Thy influence sweet mirth bestows,For thee alone I’d live and die in scenes of joy.Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents;Thy wond’rous sweetness calms to soft reposeOur wild regrets and restless woes,And richly ev’ry craving mind contents.Without thee Venus has no charms;You constancy to am’rous souls impart,And hopes bestow to each despairing heart,III.But, what involuntary transports roll,And seize, at once, my agitated soul!Into what sacred vale! what silent wood!(I speak not by the vulgar understood,)Am I, O god! O wond’rous deity!Ravish’d, brimful of thy divinity and thee!To my (once infidel) believing eyesBacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries.Movements confus’d of joy and fearHurry me I know not where.With boldness all divine the god inspires;With what a pleasing fury am I fill’d!Such raging firesNever the Menades in Thracian caves beheld.IV.Descend, O mother-queen of love,Leave a while the realms above;With your gay presence grace the feastOf that great god, who bears a boundless sway,Who conquer’d climates where first rose the day.Descend, O mother-queen of love,At rich repasts an ever welcome guest;But O——, too long you stay,Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay,His lovely Doris o’er the plain pursues:The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs commandRichly distils from their ambrosial hand,And old Silenus copiously bedews.V.Hence, ye profane,I hate ye all, fly, quit the field,My ready soul gives wayTo those gay movements, this important dayInspires, so to the conq’ror willing captives yield.Come, faithful followers of Bacchus’ train,(Bacchus, most lovely of the gods)Enter these bless’d abodes.On high his verdant banners rear,And quick the festival prepare.Reach me my lute, a proper airThe chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey,And join to celebrate this glorious day.VI.But ’midst the transports of a pleasing rageLet’s banish ever hence,By a blind vapour rais’d, and vain pretence,Those loud seditious clamours that engageOnly inhuman, brutish souls,By barb’rous Scythians only understood,Who cruelly their flowing bowlsAt banquets intermix with streams of blood.Dreadful, preposterous, merriment!Our hands all gayly innocent,Ought ne’er in such confusion bear a part,Polluted with a savage Centaur’s mortal dart.VII.From this sweet innocent repast,(Too exquisite, alas! to last)Let’s ever banish the rude din of arms,Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms.The dire confusions of pernicious war,The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor.Curs’d be those sanguinary mortals, whoOf reeking blood with crimson tidesThe sacred mysteries imbrueOf our great god who over peace presides.VIII.But if I must wage war,If so necessity commands,Follow, my friends, advance your hands,Let us commence the pleasing jar.With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound,Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound,Th’ alarm to battle calls,Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals.Double your strokes. Bold——bolder yet,’Tis done————How many rivals conquer’d lie?How many hardy combatants submit?O son of Jupiter, thy deity,And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine;Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slainI see extended on the plain,Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine.IX.Io victoria to our king,To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing;His great immortal nameLet us aloud to distant worlds proclaim.Io victoria to our king,To Bacchus grateful strains belong;O! may his glories live in endless song,The vanquish’d welt’ring on the sand,One health from us their conqu’ror demand.Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound,Second my voice, loud, louder yet,Sound our exploits, and their defeat,Who quiet, undisturb’d, possess the ground.Io victoria to our king,To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing.To this great work now finished (God be thanked) I subscribe as usual in the like cases of books, for I love decorum, and have an utter aversion to particularity, prolixity, and circumlocution. I say, to make short, I subscribe as usual, &c. in the like cases, &c. for I love, &c. and have an aversion, &c. the universally famous and most noted name which is subscribed to all books by what name or titles dignified or distinguished: or of what sort, species, size, dimension, or magnitude soever, pamphletary and voluminous; whether they be first or foremost,plays, either comical, tragical, comi-tragical, tragi-comical, or pastoral; godly, or profane songs or ballads; sermons high or low, popish or protestant, dissenting, independent, enthusiastical, Brownistical, heterodox, or orthodox; Philadelphian, Muggletonian, Sacheverelian, or Bangorian, quaking, rhapsodical, prophetical, or nonsensical; legends golden or plain; breviaries, graduals, missals, pontificals, ceremonials, antiphonaries, statutes, spelling-books. Or, secondly and lastly, tracts, treatises, essays; pandects, codes, institutes; primers, rosaries, romances; travels, synods, history books; digests, decretals, lives; commentaries anagogical, allegorical, or tropological; journals, expositions, vocabularies, pilgrimages, manuals, indexes common or expurgatorial; almanacks, bulls, constitutions, or lottery books, viz. i. e. namely, to wit, or, that is to say,FINIS.Which being interpreted is,THE END.POSTSCRIPT.Havingreceived the following letter from a merry friend, wherein are some (not unpleasant) remarks on the foregoing treatise, I thought fit to send it to the press, which the reader, as he is at liberty either to read, or let alone, so it is the same thing to me, whether he does read it, or let it alone.To the renowned Boniface Oinophilus de Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. author of the most inimitable (and non-pareil) treatise, Ebrietatis Encomium, to be left with that mirror of privative perspicuity, Signor Edemondo Curluccio, at the Bible and Dial, over against Catherine-Street, in the Strand.Right trusty, and well-beloved, I greet you well,Havingperused (at the bookseller’s, who shewed me the sheets) your Ebrietatis Encomium allthrough, even unto Finis, or the End, I own I was not a little diverted thereat. But as I never flatter any body, so my friends may least of all expect I should begin with them. I must, therefore, be frank and free with you, most renowned and never-to-be-forgotten Boniface,post nullos memorande sodales, and tell you, that you have omitted several things very material, and highly conducible to the elucidation, or illustration, (choose you whether) of your agreeable subject. But perhaps they either did not occur to your memory; or, which is the same thing, (quoad lectorem) you were entirely ignorant of them, but which take as follow.First and foremost, amongst your philosophers, you have taken no notice of the stupendous Des Cartes, with his wonderful system of whirlpools (vortices) and particles, cubic, conic, striate, oblong, globular, hooked, crooked, spiral and angular: for who the devil but a mere tipsy, giddy brains, could have dished up such a confounded hotch-potch and gallimatias of whimsical rotations, or fancied that the whole earth whirled round like a town-top, had notVinorum materia subtilis, the circling effluviaofLiber Pater, abundantly invaded his capital regions.
“Quanquam choreis aptior et jocisLudoque dictus, non sat idoneusPugnis ferebaris, sed idemPacis eras mediusque belli.”
“Quanquam choreis aptior et jocis
Ludoque dictus, non sat idoneus
Pugnis ferebaris, sed idem
Pacis eras mediusque belli.”
Tho’ thou more apt for love than furious war,And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care,Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join,Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine.
Tho’ thou more apt for love than furious war,
And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care,
Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join,
Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine.
1.Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.2.Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch. 35.3.Scaligeriana, p. 169.4.L. ii. ch. 2.5.Orat. ii. Philip.6.Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.7.Sueton. in Vit. August.8.Lib. ii. Od. 19.
1.Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.
2.Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch. 35.
3.Scaligeriana, p. 169.
4.L. ii. ch. 2.
5.Orat. ii. Philip.
6.Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.
7.Sueton. in Vit. August.
8.Lib. ii. Od. 19.
Itis reported that Gerson should say, That there was no difference between a man’s killing himself at one stroke, or to procure death by several, in getting drunk.
Somebody has burlesqued this verse of Ovid1:—
Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.1a
And thus changed it,
Vina parant asinos, faciuntque furoribus aptos.
Cyneas2alluding to those high trees to which they used to fasten the vines, said one day, discoursing on wine, that it was not without reason that his mother was hanged upon so high a gibbet.
“3The diversion that people took heretofore in making one another drunk, appeared more heinous to St. Augustine than an assassination, for he maintained, that those who made any one drunk, did him greater injury than if they had given him a stab with a dagger.
“A Greek4physician once wrote a letter to Alexander, in which he begged him to remember, that every time that he drank wine, he drank the pure blood of the earth, and that he must not abuse it.
“5Some poets say, that it was the blood of the gods wounded in their battle with the giants.
“6The Severians in St. Epiphanius, hold, that it was engendered by a serpent, and it is for that reason that the vine is so strong. And the Encratites, in the same author, imagine to themselves that it was the gall of the devil.
“Noah7in an hour of drunkenness,” says St. Jerom, “let his body be seen naked, which he had kept covered for six hundred years.”
1a.Ovid,Ars Amatoria237.1.Sphinx Theol. p. 682.2.Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.3.Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.4.Androcydes.5.Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett. 29.6.Lib. i. Heres. 47.7.Ep. ad Ocean.
1a.Ovid,Ars Amatoria237.
1.Sphinx Theol. p. 682.
2.Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.
3.Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.
4.Androcydes.
5.Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett. 29.
6.Lib. i. Heres. 47.
7.Ep. ad Ocean.
Anaversion to wine is a thing not very common; and there are but a very few but will say with Catullus:—
“At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymphæVini pernicies.”a
“At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymphæ
Vini pernicies.”a
Pernicious water, bane to wine, be gone.
One should certainly be very much in the wrong to put in the number of those who had an aversion to wine the duke of Clarence. His brother, Edward the Fourth, prejudiced with the predictions of Merlin, as if they foretold, that one day that duke should usurp the crown from his children, resolved to put him to death, he only gave him the liberty to choose what death hewould die of. The duke being willing to die a merry death, chose to be drowned in a butt of Malmsey. Not unlike him on whom this epigram was made.
“1In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret;Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim.”
“1In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret;
Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim.”
In a full glass of wine expir’d a fly;So, said Oeneus, would I freely die.
In a full glass of wine expir’d a fly;
So, said Oeneus, would I freely die.
But let us come in earnest to those who have really had an antipathy to wine. Herbelot2, in his Bibliotheque Orientale, says, that there are some Mussulmans so superstitious, that they will not call wine by its true name, which is Schamr and Nedibh; and that there are some princes amongst them that have forbidden the mentioning of it by express laws. The reason of all this is, the prohibition of Mahomet to his followers, which enjoins them not to drink wine. The occasion of which prohibition is as follows: “3They say, that passing one day through a village,and seeing the people in the mirth of wine embracing and kissing one another, and making a thousand protestations of friendship, he was so charmed with the sight, that he blessed the wine, as the best thing in the world. But that, at his return, observing the same place full of blood, and having been informed, that the same men whom he had seen before so merry, had, at last, changed their mirth into rage, and been fighting with their swords, he recalled his benediction, and cursed wine for ever, on account of the bad effects it produced.”
It is one of the chief commandments amongst the Siameze, to drink no wine, nor any liquor that will procure drunkenness4.
“5Drunkenness is detested in most parts of hot countries. It is looked upon there as infamous. The greatest affront you can give a Spaniard, is to call him drunkard. I have been assured, continues M. Bayle, a servant, if his master should call him so, might bring his action at law against him, and recover damages, thoughany other name he will suffer very patiently, and without any right of complaint of being injured in his reputation, as rogue, hang-dog, b——, &c.”
Empedocles, we may well conclude, loved wine, which he called, Water putrified in wood.
6Amongst the Locrians, Seleucus had such an aversion to wine, that he forbad any one to drink it under pain of death, or even give it to the sick.
Apollonius Thyanæus never drank any wine, no more than St. Fulgentius, bishop, S. Stephen, king of Poland, and cardinal Emeri.
“7The Severians, disciples of Severus, in the time of pope Sotherus, condemned absolutely wine, as a creature of the devil.”
8The emperor Frederick the Third, seeing his wife barren, consulted the physicians upon the case; who told him, that if the empress would drink wine she might be fruitful. But he toldthem, like a simpleton as he was, That he had rather his wife should be barren and sober, than be fruitful and drink wine. And the empress, being informed of the wise answer of the imperial ninny-hammer, her husband, said full as wisely, That if she was to be put to her choice, to drink wine or die, she should make no manner of hesitation, but prefer death.
De nimia sapientia libera nos domine.
a.Catullus XXVII.5-6.1.Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.2.Page 777.3.Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.4.Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.5.Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.6.Ælian, lib. ii. ch. 33.7.Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.8.Rec. choise d’Hist.
a.Catullus XXVII.5-6.
1.Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.
2.Page 777.
3.Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.
4.Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.
5.Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.
6.Ælian, lib. ii. ch. 33.
7.Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.
8.Rec. choise d’Hist.
Itis easy to imagine, that princes who did not love wine themselves, would make very rigorous laws against drunkenness, and fall into that fault which Horace speaks of.
Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt.a
But this maxim,Nullum violentum durabile, has been verified a great many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws made against it have not long subsisted.
Pentheus1, king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains.
Lycurgus2, king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the country to be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He also made laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad ones that he instituted. As,
I.The using women in common.
II.The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals.
“Pittacus3, one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a doublepunishment. And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which condemned to death the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the Indians, who only just touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, the law commands, that the woman who killed one of their kings, should get drunk, and marry his successor.”
4The Athenians had also very severe laws against those that should get drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of Draco, which were written rather with blood than ink.
We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut5tells us several particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walkedin that manner about the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, he sent him to prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day he met in the streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually made at the approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince whose presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all things returned to their former condition.
However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet the IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of wine. The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were remembered, and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, who saw his seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of wine, and whose fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing his principal favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely the use of wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, to send it out of town. The same extended all over the empire.The sultan condemned to death those who should violate this decree, in which he spoke of wine as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to destroy the souls of men, to disturb their reason, and put states into combustion. This was rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, that it cost the ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of Constantinople, great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get leave to make only as much wine as would suffice for their own families. At Smyrna, the officers of the grand seignior had not the same indulgence for the christians, who were one whole year without wine; and it was with great difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles of the Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; for this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the grand seignior. But in about a year’s time its severity was somewhat remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leaveto make wine within themselves; and about a year after that, the indulgence for wine was general, the taverns were opened, and at this day that liquor is as common as it was before.
a.Horace,SatireI.ii.24.1.Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.2.Hist. 7 Sap.3.Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.4.Hist. 7 Sap.5.See his Turkish Hist.
a.Horace,SatireI.ii.24.
1.Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.
2.Hist. 7 Sap.
3.Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.
4.Hist. 7 Sap.
5.See his Turkish Hist.
Toavoid the disorders that drunkenness might cause, here are some rules that ought to be observed in this important affair of getting drunk; for, according to Pliny, the art of getting drunk has its laws.
Hæc ars suis legibus constat.a
I. The first, and principal of these, is not toget drunk too often. This is what Seneca1recommends very much. “You must not,” says he, “do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it is but only sometimes you should make your spirits gay in banishing gloomy sobriety.”
And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one shall do it often. I deny the consequence, and say in the words of the philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, that
Ab actu ad habitum non valet consequentia.
II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is to say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and where there is good wine. For example, a man in former times would have done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian2reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, and tigers, which always tore to piecessome of them. On the other hand, the best wine in the world will taste very bad in bad company. It is therefore that Martial reproaches one, that he spoiled his good wine with his silly babbling.
——————Verbis mucida vina facis.2a
a.Pliny,Natural HistoryXIV.50 (or XIV.xxviii.146).1.De Tranquillitate.2.Ælius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.2a.Martial VIII.vi.4.
a.Pliny,Natural HistoryXIV.50 (or XIV.xxviii.146).
1.De Tranquillitate.
2.Ælius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.
2a.Martial VIII.vi.4.
Whenone has a mind to get drunk, one should make choice of good wine, and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to health. For example, green wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin1, a great punster, has expressed in theseverses, which, I own, I am not able to put into English:—
“Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop osDes corps humains ruez envers en versDont un quidam apre aux pots a proposA fort blâmé les tours pervers en vers.”
“Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop os
Des corps humains ruez envers en vers
Dont un quidam apre aux pots a propos
A fort blâmé les tours pervers en vers.”
Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus2preserved himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper season.
You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its perfection, the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have these four properties, and please these four senses:— the taste by its savour, the smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright colour, and the ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine was looked upon to be the best by the ancients.
A beauty, when advanc’d in age,No more her lovers can engage;But wine, the rare advantage, knows,It pleases more, more old it grows.
A beauty, when advanc’d in age,
No more her lovers can engage;
But wine, the rare advantage, knows,
It pleases more, more old it grows.
And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, have the wine older than they were.Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, ut non ante se genita potaret3. Which these words of Seneca4also confirm, “Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself?Cur apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur.”
Martial says, “Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was before there were any consuls in the world.
“De sinuessanis venerunt massica prælis:Condita quo quæris consule? nullus erat.”4a
“De sinuessanis venerunt massica prælis:
Condita quo quæris consule? nullus erat.”4a
At present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, that of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. The story is this, and it is related in Lassell’s Travels:—
A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to ride before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door ofthe inn (in order to save time) the wordEST. Coming to Monte Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down,Est, Est, Est, which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that he went no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the cathedral church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the purveyor.
Est, Est, Est,etPropter nimium Est,Herus meus Dominus Abbasmortuus Est.
The wine called Lachrymæ Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most delicious wine. At least a master of arts of the university of Cologn thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place pretty heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried out,
Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria.
I wish Christ had shed tears in our country.
M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for one’s health.
Theregrowsalso most excellentwinesin France, such as Champagne.
Wenceslaus5, king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into France on account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived at Rheins in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found the wine so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in that condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking.
The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to Champagne. “Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the gods6.”
The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S. Evremont7says, that Leo the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. king of England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most important affairs ofstate, to take care to have the wines of Ai. Henry IV. caused himself to be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse.
But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin8says very pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them.
1.Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.2.Journ. des Sçav. June, 1706.3.Plin.Natural HistoryXIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).4.De Vit. beat. c. 17.4a.Martial XIII.111.5.Journ. de Sçav. June, 1706.6.Patimana, p. 34.7.Lett. S. Evrem.8.Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.
1.Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.
2.Journ. des Sçav. June, 1706.
3.Plin.Natural HistoryXIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).
4.De Vit. beat. c. 17.
4a.Martial XIII.111.
5.Journ. de Sçav. June, 1706.
6.Patimana, p. 34.
7.Lett. S. Evrem.
8.Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.
Thoughone must not get drunk every day, one may, notwithstanding, on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend the mind.
Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.a
And when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns fool in affecting to be wise.
There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, that is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some times which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, [hiccup, ki——book;] a parsonin the pulpit; an experimental philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; nor a freemason on the top of a church-steeple.
But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public rejoicing after a signal victory.
When the proud Gaul sustain’d an overthrowBy the immortal MARLBOROUGH,Ever invincible! then you and I,My Thirsis, shar’d the common joy.Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song,The day tho’ short, the night was long,Till both with mighty claret glow’d,And tipsy, to our beds were shew’d.
When the proud Gaul sustain’d an overthrow
By the immortal MARLBOROUGH,
Ever invincible! then you and I,
My Thirsis, shar’d the common joy.
Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song,
The day tho’ short, the night was long,
Till both with mighty claret glow’d,
And tipsy, to our beds were shew’d.
We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a long while.
Here ’tis——O welcome, flask divine,How bright does thy vermillion shine!Thou charming native of Dijon1,At thy approach my cares are flown,Sad melancholy is no more,Which rack’d and plagu’d my soul before.Whether thy influence incites,(Sweet influence) to soft delights;Or else dost other measures keep,And gently urge to peaceful sleep.O may’st thou still such streams bestow,Still with such ruddy torrents flow.Damon, this bottle is your due,And more I have in store for youUnder the sun the faithfullest friend;I’ve kept them for no other end.Drink then a bumper, ’tis a folly,Dear Damon, to be melancholy.
Here ’tis——O welcome, flask divine,
How bright does thy vermillion shine!
Thou charming native of Dijon1,
At thy approach my cares are flown,
Sad melancholy is no more,
Which rack’d and plagu’d my soul before.
Whether thy influence incites,
(Sweet influence) to soft delights;
Or else dost other measures keep,
And gently urge to peaceful sleep.
O may’st thou still such streams bestow,
Still with such ruddy torrents flow.
Damon, this bottle is your due,
And more I have in store for you
Under the sun the faithfullest friend;
I’ve kept them for no other end.
Drink then a bumper, ’tis a folly,
Dear Damon, to be melancholy.
However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they permitted it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man said to his father in presence of the people. “2No father,” says he, “I have no reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine than ordinary at a feast with my companions.”Non est res qua embescam, Pater, si die festo inter æquales largiore vino fui usus.
The Persian soldiers, who otherwise livedvery soberly, were permitted to get drunk once a year3.
In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal holidays, as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a christian, and ought to be excommunicated.4So that, according to this, getting drunk at certain convenient times amongst these christians, was so far from being unlawful, that a man was not looked upon to be orthodox, without he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very orthodox.
a.Horace,OdesII.x.19-20.1.Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.2.Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.3.Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.4.Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.
a.Horace,OdesII.x.19-20.
1.Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.
2.Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.
3.Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.
4.Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.
Itis very ridiculous and unreasonable to force any one to drink, because the taking away liberty spoils company, the benefit of which cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every man’s capacity of drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a gallon, and another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, has drank as much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, because they both have drank as they can, and———Ferdinando———No man can do more than he can do. Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as he pleases, without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. I am of the same opinion in this matter with brother Horace:—
——————Prout cuiq; libide estSiccat inequales calices conviva solutusLegibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortisPocula, seu modicis humescit lætius——a
——————Prout cuiq; libide est
Siccat inequales calices conviva solutus
Legibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortis
Pocula, seu modicis humescit lætius——a
We learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom.
Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to drink.
Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M. Peyren gave to Raphael Thorius, a very learned person, who would force him to drink, which take as follows. “1M. Peyren dining at London with several persons of learning, could not be discharged from drinking a health that Dr. Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, which M. Peyren, for that reason, a long while refused, and alleged a thousand reasons, but all in vain; he must empty the glass. Before he did it he made this agreement with his antagonist, that he should drink a health afterwards that he should toast to him; which being consented to, he took off the bumper, and filled the glass full of water, and drank it off to thedoctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole day drinking that cursed bumper.”
This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, “2after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in Frankfort, with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the sideboard, where one of them began the emperor’s health. This he must drink, and as he foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be attended with others, he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to be brought to him, and having eaten half of one to the health of the king of France, he gave the other half to the other, who took it, indeed, but would not so much as put it to his mouth. The company surprized at so unexpected a novelty, let him alone without any contradiction.”
Nevertheless, one should be very diligent inobserving this rule, which is, That when we find ourselves in the company of people that drink, and would not run those lengths they are going to do, to retire; and this was a standing law amongst the Greeks in their festivals, and ought to be as unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, viz.
DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
a.Horace,SatiresII.6.67-70.1.Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.2.Chevræana, t. ii. p. 188.
a.Horace,SatiresII.6.67-70.
1.Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.
2.Chevræana, t. ii. p. 188.
Itis certain, that to do well, we ought continually to have an eye to this maxim of Horace, viz.Est modus in rebus. And theNe quid nimisof Terence; but especially, in this grand and most important affair of drunkenness.Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, one which entirelyburiesour reason; and the other, which onlydivertsmelancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very lawful; but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not onlyto divert, but todrive awayour cares entirely, or else not to get drunk at all. That which is between these, if any such there can be, does one an injury, according to the poet:—
Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curasEripiat, si quæ est inter utramque nocet.a
Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curas
Eripiat, si quæ est inter utramque nocet.a
After this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; that is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, and so as to forget our cares.
It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it was never the intention of this work, but to divert (as wine was designed to do) and make merry, I shall therefore conclude the whole with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:—
a.Ovid,Remedium Amoris809-810.
a.Ovid,Remedium Amoris809-810.
I.Let’ssing the glories of the god of wine,May his immortal praiseBe the eternal object of our song,And sweetest symphonies; may ev’ry tongueAnd throat sonorous, vocal music raise,And ev’ry grateful instrument combineTo celebrate, great god, thy power divine.Let other poets to the world relate,Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate;And in immortal song rehearse,Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain;The glorious hist’ry of Achilles slain,And th’ odious memory of Pelop’s sons revive in verse.II.God of the grape, thou potent boy,Thou only object of our cordial vows,To thee alone I consecrate my heart,Ready to follow thee in ev’ry part:Thy influence sweet mirth bestows,For thee alone I’d live and die in scenes of joy.Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents;Thy wond’rous sweetness calms to soft reposeOur wild regrets and restless woes,And richly ev’ry craving mind contents.Without thee Venus has no charms;You constancy to am’rous souls impart,And hopes bestow to each despairing heart,III.But, what involuntary transports roll,And seize, at once, my agitated soul!Into what sacred vale! what silent wood!(I speak not by the vulgar understood,)Am I, O god! O wond’rous deity!Ravish’d, brimful of thy divinity and thee!To my (once infidel) believing eyesBacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries.Movements confus’d of joy and fearHurry me I know not where.With boldness all divine the god inspires;With what a pleasing fury am I fill’d!Such raging firesNever the Menades in Thracian caves beheld.IV.Descend, O mother-queen of love,Leave a while the realms above;With your gay presence grace the feastOf that great god, who bears a boundless sway,Who conquer’d climates where first rose the day.Descend, O mother-queen of love,At rich repasts an ever welcome guest;But O——, too long you stay,Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay,His lovely Doris o’er the plain pursues:The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs commandRichly distils from their ambrosial hand,And old Silenus copiously bedews.V.Hence, ye profane,I hate ye all, fly, quit the field,My ready soul gives wayTo those gay movements, this important dayInspires, so to the conq’ror willing captives yield.Come, faithful followers of Bacchus’ train,(Bacchus, most lovely of the gods)Enter these bless’d abodes.On high his verdant banners rear,And quick the festival prepare.Reach me my lute, a proper airThe chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey,And join to celebrate this glorious day.VI.But ’midst the transports of a pleasing rageLet’s banish ever hence,By a blind vapour rais’d, and vain pretence,Those loud seditious clamours that engageOnly inhuman, brutish souls,By barb’rous Scythians only understood,Who cruelly their flowing bowlsAt banquets intermix with streams of blood.Dreadful, preposterous, merriment!Our hands all gayly innocent,Ought ne’er in such confusion bear a part,Polluted with a savage Centaur’s mortal dart.VII.From this sweet innocent repast,(Too exquisite, alas! to last)Let’s ever banish the rude din of arms,Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms.The dire confusions of pernicious war,The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor.Curs’d be those sanguinary mortals, whoOf reeking blood with crimson tidesThe sacred mysteries imbrueOf our great god who over peace presides.VIII.But if I must wage war,If so necessity commands,Follow, my friends, advance your hands,Let us commence the pleasing jar.With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound,Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound,Th’ alarm to battle calls,Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals.Double your strokes. Bold——bolder yet,’Tis done————How many rivals conquer’d lie?How many hardy combatants submit?O son of Jupiter, thy deity,And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine;Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slainI see extended on the plain,Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine.IX.Io victoria to our king,To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing;His great immortal nameLet us aloud to distant worlds proclaim.Io victoria to our king,To Bacchus grateful strains belong;O! may his glories live in endless song,The vanquish’d welt’ring on the sand,One health from us their conqu’ror demand.Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound,Second my voice, loud, louder yet,Sound our exploits, and their defeat,Who quiet, undisturb’d, possess the ground.Io victoria to our king,To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing.
Let’ssing the glories of the god of wine,
May his immortal praise
Be the eternal object of our song,
And sweetest symphonies; may ev’ry tongue
And throat sonorous, vocal music raise,
And ev’ry grateful instrument combine
To celebrate, great god, thy power divine.
Let other poets to the world relate,
Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate;
And in immortal song rehearse,
Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain;
The glorious hist’ry of Achilles slain,
And th’ odious memory of Pelop’s sons revive in verse.
God of the grape, thou potent boy,
Thou only object of our cordial vows,
To thee alone I consecrate my heart,
Ready to follow thee in ev’ry part:
Thy influence sweet mirth bestows,
For thee alone I’d live and die in scenes of joy.
Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents;
Thy wond’rous sweetness calms to soft repose
Our wild regrets and restless woes,
And richly ev’ry craving mind contents.
Without thee Venus has no charms;
You constancy to am’rous souls impart,
And hopes bestow to each despairing heart,
But, what involuntary transports roll,
And seize, at once, my agitated soul!
Into what sacred vale! what silent wood!
(I speak not by the vulgar understood,)
Am I, O god! O wond’rous deity!
Ravish’d, brimful of thy divinity and thee!
To my (once infidel) believing eyes
Bacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries.
Movements confus’d of joy and fear
Hurry me I know not where.
With boldness all divine the god inspires;
With what a pleasing fury am I fill’d!
Such raging fires
Never the Menades in Thracian caves beheld.
Descend, O mother-queen of love,
Leave a while the realms above;
With your gay presence grace the feast
Of that great god, who bears a boundless sway,
Who conquer’d climates where first rose the day.
Descend, O mother-queen of love,
At rich repasts an ever welcome guest;
But O——, too long you stay,
Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay,
His lovely Doris o’er the plain pursues:
The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs command
Richly distils from their ambrosial hand,
And old Silenus copiously bedews.
Hence, ye profane,
I hate ye all, fly, quit the field,
My ready soul gives way
To those gay movements, this important day
Inspires, so to the conq’ror willing captives yield.
Come, faithful followers of Bacchus’ train,
(Bacchus, most lovely of the gods)
Enter these bless’d abodes.
On high his verdant banners rear,
And quick the festival prepare.
Reach me my lute, a proper air
The chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey,
And join to celebrate this glorious day.
But ’midst the transports of a pleasing rage
Let’s banish ever hence,
By a blind vapour rais’d, and vain pretence,
Those loud seditious clamours that engage
Only inhuman, brutish souls,
By barb’rous Scythians only understood,
Who cruelly their flowing bowls
At banquets intermix with streams of blood.
Dreadful, preposterous, merriment!
Our hands all gayly innocent,
Ought ne’er in such confusion bear a part,
Polluted with a savage Centaur’s mortal dart.
From this sweet innocent repast,
(Too exquisite, alas! to last)
Let’s ever banish the rude din of arms,
Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms.
The dire confusions of pernicious war,
The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor.
Curs’d be those sanguinary mortals, who
Of reeking blood with crimson tides
The sacred mysteries imbrue
Of our great god who over peace presides.
But if I must wage war,
If so necessity commands,
Follow, my friends, advance your hands,
Let us commence the pleasing jar.
With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound,
Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound,
Th’ alarm to battle calls,
Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals.
Double your strokes. Bold——bolder yet,
’Tis done————How many rivals conquer’d lie?
How many hardy combatants submit?
O son of Jupiter, thy deity,
And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine;
Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slain
I see extended on the plain,
Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine.
Io victoria to our king,
To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing;
His great immortal name
Let us aloud to distant worlds proclaim.
Io victoria to our king,
To Bacchus grateful strains belong;
O! may his glories live in endless song,
The vanquish’d welt’ring on the sand,
One health from us their conqu’ror demand.
Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound,
Second my voice, loud, louder yet,
Sound our exploits, and their defeat,
Who quiet, undisturb’d, possess the ground.
Io victoria to our king,
To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing.
To this great work now finished (God be thanked) I subscribe as usual in the like cases of books, for I love decorum, and have an utter aversion to particularity, prolixity, and circumlocution. I say, to make short, I subscribe as usual, &c. in the like cases, &c. for I love, &c. and have an aversion, &c. the universally famous and most noted name which is subscribed to all books by what name or titles dignified or distinguished: or of what sort, species, size, dimension, or magnitude soever, pamphletary and voluminous; whether they be first or foremost,plays, either comical, tragical, comi-tragical, tragi-comical, or pastoral; godly, or profane songs or ballads; sermons high or low, popish or protestant, dissenting, independent, enthusiastical, Brownistical, heterodox, or orthodox; Philadelphian, Muggletonian, Sacheverelian, or Bangorian, quaking, rhapsodical, prophetical, or nonsensical; legends golden or plain; breviaries, graduals, missals, pontificals, ceremonials, antiphonaries, statutes, spelling-books. Or, secondly and lastly, tracts, treatises, essays; pandects, codes, institutes; primers, rosaries, romances; travels, synods, history books; digests, decretals, lives; commentaries anagogical, allegorical, or tropological; journals, expositions, vocabularies, pilgrimages, manuals, indexes common or expurgatorial; almanacks, bulls, constitutions, or lottery books, viz. i. e. namely, to wit, or, that is to say,
FINIS.
Which being interpreted is,
THE END.
Havingreceived the following letter from a merry friend, wherein are some (not unpleasant) remarks on the foregoing treatise, I thought fit to send it to the press, which the reader, as he is at liberty either to read, or let alone, so it is the same thing to me, whether he does read it, or let it alone.
To the renowned Boniface Oinophilus de Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. author of the most inimitable (and non-pareil) treatise, Ebrietatis Encomium, to be left with that mirror of privative perspicuity, Signor Edemondo Curluccio, at the Bible and Dial, over against Catherine-Street, in the Strand.
Right trusty, and well-beloved, I greet you well,
Havingperused (at the bookseller’s, who shewed me the sheets) your Ebrietatis Encomium allthrough, even unto Finis, or the End, I own I was not a little diverted thereat. But as I never flatter any body, so my friends may least of all expect I should begin with them. I must, therefore, be frank and free with you, most renowned and never-to-be-forgotten Boniface,post nullos memorande sodales, and tell you, that you have omitted several things very material, and highly conducible to the elucidation, or illustration, (choose you whether) of your agreeable subject. But perhaps they either did not occur to your memory; or, which is the same thing, (quoad lectorem) you were entirely ignorant of them, but which take as follow.
First and foremost, amongst your philosophers, you have taken no notice of the stupendous Des Cartes, with his wonderful system of whirlpools (vortices) and particles, cubic, conic, striate, oblong, globular, hooked, crooked, spiral and angular: for who the devil but a mere tipsy, giddy brains, could have dished up such a confounded hotch-potch and gallimatias of whimsical rotations, or fancied that the whole earth whirled round like a town-top, had notVinorum materia subtilis, the circling effluviaofLiber Pater, abundantly invaded his capital regions.