PeterPindar.—Dr. Wolcot.

"Whilst all on this auspicious day,Well pleas'd their gratulations pay,And sweetly smile, and softly sayA thousand pretty speeches;My Muse her grateful tribute wings,Nor scorn the lay her duty brings,Tho' humble be the theme she sings—A pair of shooting breeches."Soon shall the tailor's subtle artHave fashion'd them in every part,And made them snug, and neat, and smart,With twenty thousand stitches;Then mark the moral of my song,Oh! may our lives but prove as strong,And wear as well, and last as long,As these, my shooting breeches."And when to ease the load of strifeOf public and of private life,My fate shall bless me with a wife,I seek not rank or riches;But worth like thine, serene and gay,And form'd like thine, to give awayNot wear herself the breeches."

"Whilst all on this auspicious day,Well pleas'd their gratulations pay,And sweetly smile, and softly sayA thousand pretty speeches;My Muse her grateful tribute wings,Nor scorn the lay her duty brings,Tho' humble be the theme she sings—A pair of shooting breeches.

"Soon shall the tailor's subtle artHave fashion'd them in every part,And made them snug, and neat, and smart,With twenty thousand stitches;Then mark the moral of my song,Oh! may our lives but prove as strong,And wear as well, and last as long,As these, my shooting breeches.

"And when to ease the load of strifeOf public and of private life,My fate shall bless me with a wife,I seek not rank or riches;But worth like thine, serene and gay,And form'd like thine, to give awayNot wear herself the breeches."

Among Canning's playful rhymes will be remembered, inThe Microcosm, Nos. 1, 11, and 12, those commencing,—

"The Queen of Hearts,She made some tarts," &c.

"The Queen of Hearts,She made some tarts," &c.

The continuation, which is less known, apparently contains some political allusions:—

"Ye Queen of SpadesHerself degradesBy dancing on the green;Ye Knave stood byIn extacy,Enamoured of ye Queen.Ye King so braveSays to the Knave,'I disapprove this dance;You make more workThan Mister BurkeDoes with ye Queen of France.'"

"Ye Queen of SpadesHerself degradesBy dancing on the green;Ye Knave stood byIn extacy,Enamoured of ye Queen.Ye King so braveSays to the Knave,'I disapprove this dance;You make more workThan Mister BurkeDoes with ye Queen of France.'"

The following is written as a variation:

"Ye Queen of SpadesShe beat ye maidsFor their immodesty;Ye Knave of SpadesHe kissed those maids,Which made the Queen to cry.Ye King then curstThat Knave who durstMake Royalty shed tears;'Vile Knave,' says he,''Tis my decreeThat you lose both your ears.'"Ye Diamond QueenWas one day seenSo drunk she could not stand;Ye Diamond KnaveHe blushed, and gaveYe Queen a reprimand.Ye King, distrestThat his dearestShould do so vile a thing,Says, 'By my wigShe's like ye pigOf David, ye good king.'"Ye Queen of ClubsMade syllabubs;Ye Knave came like Big Ben,He snatched the cupAnd drank it up—His toast was, 'Rights of men.'With hands and eyesThat marked surpriseYe King laments his fate:'Alas!' says he,'I plainly seeYe Knave's a Democrate.'"

"Ye Queen of SpadesShe beat ye maidsFor their immodesty;Ye Knave of SpadesHe kissed those maids,Which made the Queen to cry.Ye King then curstThat Knave who durstMake Royalty shed tears;'Vile Knave,' says he,''Tis my decreeThat you lose both your ears.'

"Ye Diamond QueenWas one day seenSo drunk she could not stand;Ye Diamond KnaveHe blushed, and gaveYe Queen a reprimand.Ye King, distrestThat his dearestShould do so vile a thing,Says, 'By my wigShe's like ye pigOf David, ye good king.'

"Ye Queen of ClubsMade syllabubs;Ye Knave came like Big Ben,He snatched the cupAnd drank it up—His toast was, 'Rights of men.'With hands and eyesThat marked surpriseYe King laments his fate:'Alas!' says he,'I plainly seeYe Knave's a Democrate.'"

Mr. Canning used habitually to designate the selfish and officious Duke of Buckingham as the "Ph.D.," an abbreviation which was understood to mean "the fat Duke." That bulky potentate had cautioned him on the eve of his expected voyage to India, against the frigate in which he was to sail, on the ground that she was too low in the water."I am much obliged to you," he replies to Lord Morley, "for your report of the Duke of Buckingham's caution respecting theJupiter. Could you have the experiments madewithoutthe Duke of Buckingham on board? as thatmightmake a difference."

In a letter to Lord Granville, at a time when Prince Metternich was expected in Paris, he says, "You ask me what you shall say to Metternich. In the first place, you shall hear what I think of him; that he is the greatest r—— and l—— on the Continent, perhaps in the civilized world!"

Almost all the brilliant exceptions to the average trash of theAnti-Jacobinappear to belong to Canning; though, if the authority of the most recent editor may be trusted, the best stanza of the best poem was added to the original manuscript by Pitt.

"Sun, moon, and thou, vile world, adieu!Which kings and priests are plotting in;Here doomed to starve on water gru-el, I no more shall see the U-niversity of Gottingen."

"Sun, moon, and thou, vile world, adieu!Which kings and priests are plotting in;Here doomed to starve on water gru-el, I no more shall see the U-niversity of Gottingen."

Canning'sFriend of Humanity and the Knife-grinderis well remembered as witty ridicule of the youthful Jacobin effusions of Southey, in which it was sedulously inculcated that there was a natural and eternal warfare between the poor and the rich; the Sapphic lines of Southey affording a tempting subject for ludicrous parody:—

"Friend of Humanity."Needy Knife-grinder? whither art thou going?Rough is your road—your wheel is out of order.Bleak blows the blast—your hat has got a hole in't!So have your breeches!"Weary Knife-grinder! little think the proud ones,Who in their coaches roll along the turnpike-Road, what hard work 'tis crying all day, 'Knives andScissors to grind O!'"Tell me, Knife-grinder, how came you to grind knives?Did some rich man tyrannically use you?Was it the squire, or parson of the parish,Or the attorney?"Was it the squire, for killing of his game, orCovetous parson, for his tithes distraining?Or roguish lawyer, made you lose your littleAll in a lawsuit?"(Have you not read theRights of Man, by Tom Paine?)Drops of compassion tremble on my eyelids,Ready to fall, as soon as you have toldYour pitiful story.

"Friend of Humanity."Needy Knife-grinder? whither art thou going?Rough is your road—your wheel is out of order.Bleak blows the blast—your hat has got a hole in't!So have your breeches!

"Weary Knife-grinder! little think the proud ones,Who in their coaches roll along the turnpike-Road, what hard work 'tis crying all day, 'Knives andScissors to grind O!'

"Tell me, Knife-grinder, how came you to grind knives?Did some rich man tyrannically use you?Was it the squire, or parson of the parish,Or the attorney?

"Was it the squire, for killing of his game, orCovetous parson, for his tithes distraining?Or roguish lawyer, made you lose your littleAll in a lawsuit?

"(Have you not read theRights of Man, by Tom Paine?)Drops of compassion tremble on my eyelids,Ready to fall, as soon as you have toldYour pitiful story.

"Knife-grinder."Story! God bless you! I have none to tell, sir.Only last night, a-drinking at the Chequers,This poor old hat and breeches, as you see, wereTorn in a scuffle."Constables came up for to take me intoCustody; they took me before the justice;Justice Oldmixon put me in the parishStocks for a vagrant."I should be glad to drink your honour's health inA pot of beer, if you will give me sixpence;But for my part I never love to meddleWith politics, sir.

"Knife-grinder."Story! God bless you! I have none to tell, sir.Only last night, a-drinking at the Chequers,This poor old hat and breeches, as you see, wereTorn in a scuffle.

"Constables came up for to take me intoCustody; they took me before the justice;Justice Oldmixon put me in the parishStocks for a vagrant.

"I should be glad to drink your honour's health inA pot of beer, if you will give me sixpence;But for my part I never love to meddleWith politics, sir.

"Friend of Humanity."I give thee sixpence! I will see thee d——d first—Wretch, whom no sense of wrongs can rouse to vengeance—Sordid, unfeeling reprobate; degraded,Spiritless outcast!

"Friend of Humanity."I give thee sixpence! I will see thee d——d first—Wretch, whom no sense of wrongs can rouse to vengeance—Sordid, unfeeling reprobate; degraded,Spiritless outcast!

[Kicks the Knife-grinder, overturns his wheel, and exit in a transport of Republican enthusiasm and universal philanthropy.]

Again, the atrocious exaltation of the contemporary poet in the murder of Jean Bon St. André is still delightfully contagious:—

"'Twould have moved a Christian's bowelsTo hear the doubts he stated;But the Moors they did as they were bid,And strangled him while he prated."

"'Twould have moved a Christian's bowelsTo hear the doubts he stated;But the Moors they did as they were bid,And strangled him while he prated."

The exquisite polish of theLoves of the Trianglesis enjoyed, while Darwin's grave absurdities are only remembered in Miss Edgeworth's admiring quotations, or by Lord Brougham's fidelity to the literary prepossessions of his youth. It is remarkable that an author who in literature can only be considered as an amateur, should have possessed that rare accomplishment of style which is the first condition of durable reputation. The humour of Canning's more ephemeral lampoons, as they exist in oral tradition, seems to have been not less admirable. When Mr. Whitbread said, or was supposed to say, in the House of Commons, that a certain day was memorable to him as the anniversary both of the establishment of his brewery and of the death of his father, the metrical version of his speech placed his sentiments in a more permanent form:—

"This day I will hail with a smile and a sigh,For his beer with ane, and his bier with ani."

"This day I will hail with a smile and a sigh,For his beer with ane, and his bier with ani."

Some of the diplomatic documents which have been published tend to justify the common opinion that Mr. Canning was liable to be misled by his facility of composition and his love of epigram. On one occasion, he wrote to Lord Granville, that he had forgotten to answer "the impudent request of the Pope," for protection to his subjects against the Algerine corsairs. He replies, with more point than relevancy, "Why does not the Pope prohibit the African Slave Trade? It is carried on wholly by Roman Catholic powers, and by those among them who acknowledge most subserviently the power and authority of the court of Rome.... Tell my friend Macchi, that so long as any power whom the Pope can control, and does not, sends a slave-ship to Southern Africa, I have not theaudacity to propose to Northern Africans to abstain from cruising for Roman domestics—indeed, I think them justified in doing so." In a private conversation or a friendly letter, the fallacy of thetu quoquewould have been forgotten in the appropriateness of the repartee; but in a question of serious business, the argument was absurd, and a diplomatic communication ought never to be insulting. There might be little practical danger in affronting the Pope; but Mr. Canning himself would have admitted, on reflection, that his witticism could by no possibility conduce to the suppression of the Slave Trade.

Here is a more playful instance of humorous correspondence. When Mr. Canning was forming his ministry, he offered Lord Lyndhurst the Chancellorship, though he had recently attacked the new Premier in a speech which was said to be borrowed from a hostile pamphlet, written by Dr. Philpotts, Bishop of Exeter. Canning offered Lord Lyndhurst the seals in a letter expressive of his goodwill, "pace Philpotti;" and the answer of acceptance was signed, "Yours ever, except for twenty-four hours."

Mr. Canning had a faithful college servant, who became much attached to him. Francis, for such was his name, was always distinguished by his blunt honesty and his familiarity with his master. During his master's early political career, Francis continued to live with him. Mr. Canning, whose love of fun was innate, used sometimes to play off his servant's bluntness upon his right honourable friends. One of these, whose honours did not sit very easily upon him, had forgotten Francis, though often indebted to his kind offices at Oxford. Francis complained to Mr. Canning that Mr. W. did not speak to him. "Pooh!" said Mr. Canning, "it is all your fault; you should speak first: he thinks you proud. He dines here to-day—go up to him in the drawing-room, and congratulate him upon the post he has just got." Francis was obedient. Surrounded by a splendid ministerial circle, Francis advancedto the distinguished statesman, with "How d'ye do, Mr. W. I hope you're very well—I wish you joy of your luck, and hope your place will turn out a good thing." The roar of course was universal. The same Francis afterwards obtained a comfortable berth in the Customs, through his kind master's interest. He was a stanch Tory. During Queen Caroline's trial, he met Mr. Canning in the street. "Well Francis, how are you?" said the statesman, who had just resigned his office, holding out his hand. "It is not well, Mr. Canning," replied Francis, refusing the pledge of friendship—"It is not well, Mr. Canning, that you should say anything in favour of that ——." "But, Francis, political differences should not separate old friends—give me your hand." The sturdy politician at length consented to honour the ex-minister with a shake of forgiveness. It is said that Mr. Canning did not forget him when he returned to power.

Canning and Lord Eldon were, in many respects, "wide as the Poles asunder," although they were in the same administration. Mr. Stapleton, in hisGeorge Canning and his Times, publishes a curious letter written in 1826 to Lord Eldon, who exhibited his unconcealed dislike to his brilliant and liberal colleague by steadily refusing to place any part of his vast patronage at his disposal. Complying with the importunity of Mr. Martin, of Galway, Mr. Canning formally transmitted a letter of application, reminding the Chancellor at the same time that in twenty-five years he had made four requests for appointments; "with one of which your lordship had the goodness to comply." The letter was placed in the private secretary (Mr. Stapleton's) hands, with directions to copy it and forward it immediately; but knowing the state of parties in the cabinet, and seeing that the letter had been written under the influence of irritation, Mr. Stapleton undertook the responsibility of keeping it back. A few hours afterwards, Mr. Stapleton said to Mr. Canning, "I have not sent your letter to old Eldon.""Not sent it," he angrily inquired; "and pray why not?" Mr. Stapleton replied, "Because I am sure that you ought to read it over again before you send it." "What do you mean?" Mr. Canning sharply replied. "Go and get it." Mr. Stapleton did as he was bid; Mr. Canning read it over, and then a smile of good-humour came over his countenance. "Well," he said, "you are a good boy. You are quite right; don't send it. I will write another."

When his obstinate old enemy stood beside him at the Duke of York's funeral, in St. George's Chapel, Mr. Canning became uneasy at seeing the old man standing on the cold, bare pavement. Perhaps he was more uneasy because he knew he was unfriendly; so to prevent the cold damp of the stones from striking though his shoes, he made him lay down his cocked hat, and stand upon it; and when at last he got weary of so much standing, he put him in a niche of carved wood-work, where he was just able to stand upon wood. Unfortunately, although the tough old Chancellor was saved by his constitution and his hat, Mr. Canning's health received, through the exposure to cold, a shock from which he never recovered. A few days afterwards he paid a last visit to Lord Liverpool, at Bath, and on the plea of entertaining Mr. Stapleton, as a young man, with the stories of their early years, they went on amusing each other by recounting all sorts of fun and adventure, which were evidently quite as entertaining to the old as to the young. The picture of the two time-worn ministers laughing over the scenes of their youth must have been a treat.

Sydney Smith ludicrously compared Canning in office to a fly in amber:—"Nobody cares about the fly; the only question is—How the devil did it get there? Nor do I attack him," continues Sydney, "from the love of glory, but from the love of utility, as a burgomaster hunts a rat in a Dutch dyke, for fear it should flood a province. When he is jocular, he is strong; when he is serious, he is like Samson in a wig. Call him a legislator, a reasoner, and the conductorof the affairs of a great nation, and it seems to me as absurd as if a butterfly were to teach bees to make honey. That he is an extraordinary writer of small poetry, and a diner-out of the highest metre, I do most readily admit. After George Selwyn, and perhaps Tickell, there has been no such man for the last half-century." Lord Brougham, however, asserts that Mr. Canning was not, by choice a diner-out.

Canning said of Grattan's eloquence that, for the last two years, his public exhibitions were a complete failure, and that you saw all the mechanism of his oratory without its life. It was like lifting the flap of a barrel-organ, and seeing the wheels; you saw the skeleton of his sentences without the flesh on them; and were induced to think that what you had considered flashes, were merely primings kept ready for the occasion.

Lord Byron, in hisAge of Bronze, thus characterises Canning:—

"Something may remain, perchance, to chimeWith reason; and, what's stranger still, with rhyme.Even this thy genius, Canning! may permit,Who, bred a statesman, still was born a wit,And never, even in that dull house could tameTo unleavened prose thine own poetic flame.Our last, our best, our only orator,Even I can praise thee—Tories do no more.Nay, not so much; they hate thee, man, becauseThy spirit less upholds them than it awes!"

"Something may remain, perchance, to chimeWith reason; and, what's stranger still, with rhyme.Even this thy genius, Canning! may permit,Who, bred a statesman, still was born a wit,And never, even in that dull house could tameTo unleavened prose thine own poetic flame.Our last, our best, our only orator,Even I can praise thee—Tories do no more.Nay, not so much; they hate thee, man, becauseThy spirit less upholds them than it awes!"

This sarcastic versifier was a native of Devonshire, born about the year 1738. His father was a substantial yeoman, and sent him to Kingsbridge Free School; and after his father's death, young Wolcot was removed to the Grammar School at Bodmin. He is described as a clumsy, but arch-looking boy. He, at this early period, showed a degree ofquickness in repartee and sarcastic jokes, which was the first dawning of that satiric humour which he afterwards displayed. He was not remarkable at school for anything so much as negligence of his dress and person. He described himself in after-life as having been a dull scholar, but as having showed even at that early age a turn for versifying.

On leaving school, he was removed to Fowey, in Cornwall, to the house of an uncle, who was a medical practitioner, whose apprentice he became for seven years. He completed his medical education in London, and applied himself with sufficient diligence to obtain a knowledge of his future profession; but he much annoyed his uncle and two aunts by cultivating his talents for versifying and painting. Some of his chalk drawings have been preserved, and are remarkable for their peculiarity. When seen near the eye, they seem to be composed only of random scratches and masses of black chalk, of different densities and depths, with here and there a streak and blot of white, and others of red. There does not appear to be any defined objects, such as a tree, house, figure, &c.; but when viewed as a whole, at a distance hanging on the wall of the room, each of them appears to be a landscape representing morning and evening, in which the dark and light of the sky, and the foreground, hills, trees, towers, &c., could be made out by the fancy, in the smallest space of time allowed for the imagination to come into play; and then the effect is surprisingly good. Wolcot became fond of art, eminently critical and learned in its elements, sketched many favourite places in Devonshire and Cornwall, and dabbled occasionally in oils.

He settled in London, obtained a Scotch diploma of M.D., and began to practise as a physician. In 1767, Sir William Trelawney was appointed Governor of Jamaica, and Wolcot, who had some connection with the family, accompanied him to that island as his physician, and he was appointed Physician-General. The Governor's regard for his lively medical friend was so great, that he intended to procurehis appointment as Governor of the Mosquito territory; but the retirement from office of his best friend, Lord Shelburne, prevented its accomplishment.

Wolcot's practice in Jamaica was not extensive; the whites were not numerous, and the coloured could not pay. Governor Trelawney, however, thinking he could promote Wolcot's interest more effectually by his patronage in the Church, having then a valuable living in his gift likely to become vacant by the severe illness of the incumbent, he recommended his client to return to England, enter holy orders, and return and take possession. Although the Governor had no very sublime ideas of priesthood, it was the only way he had of serving the wit. "Away, then," he said, "to England, get yourself japanned. But remember not to return with the hypocritical solemnity of a priest. I have just bestowed a good living on a parson, who believes not all he preaches, and what he really believes he is afraid to preach. You may very conscientiously declare," said theconscientiousGovernor to his admiring pupil, "that you have an internal call, as the same expression will equally suit a hungry stomach and the soul." Having accomplished this praiseworthy object, the rev. (M.D.) doctor returned to his patron for induction; but "between the cup and the lip there is many a slip," for the ailing incumbent, whoselivingthe doctor sought, became convalescent, proved a very incumbrance in his path, and the japannedmedicowas fain to take up with the living of Vere, a congregation exclusively of blacks, which he handed over to a curate, his real employment being master of ceremonies to the Governor. On his death, Wolcot returned to England with Lady Trelawney; and to carry on the metaphor, the black lobster was boiled, and came out in scarlet and gold.—(Notes and Queries, 2nd Series, vol. vii. pp. 381-383.)

The next twelve years of Wolcot's life were spent in attempting to establish himself as a physician in Cornwall, in which he failed, apparently on account of his invinciblepropensity to live as a practical humorist, and satirize his neighbours. He humorously tells us that the clinking of the bell-metal pestle and mortar seemed to him to say, "Kill 'em again, kill 'em again," and so frightened him from the profession. During his residence at Truro, some songs of his composition were set to music by Mr. W. Jackson, of Exeter, and first introduced him to general notice. In 1778, he published his first composition in that peculiar style which not long after obtained for him such a high and continued popularity—The Epistle to the Reviewers. At Truro, Wolcot discovered the genius of the self-taught artist, Opie, and with him came to London in 1780, they agreeing to share the joint profits of their adventure for one year. They did so for that term, when Opie told Wolcot he might return to the country, as he could now do for himself. Wolcot appears not to have contributed anything to the joint profits. There was now a split between the poet and the brushman. Opie would not, for he could not, praise Wolcot's sketches and paintings. "I tell ee, ye can't paint," said the blunt and honest Opie; "stick to the pen." This advice was too much for "the distant relation of the Poet of Thebes" to receive from "a painting ape," and the feud was never healed. The Doctor scarified and lanced, but Opie, in a more quiet way, was quite a match for the satirist, who, as he said:—

"Sons of the brush, I'm here again,At times aPindar, aFontaine,Casting poetic pearl (I fear) to swine."

"Sons of the brush, I'm here again,At times aPindar, aFontaine,Casting poetic pearl (I fear) to swine."

Wolcot was the friend and pupil of Wilson, our great landscape painter, whose style he used to imitate not unsuccessfully. In his addenda to Pilkington'sDictionary of Painters, he pays due honour to the memory of his old friend, Wilson.

Wolcot now betook himself to his pen for support. His satirical and artistic tastes suggested his first publication, "Lyric Odes to the Royal Academicians for 1782, by PeterPindar Esq., a distant relation of the Poet of Thebes, and Laureate to the Royal Academy," which took the town by surprise, by the reckless daring of their personalities and quaintness of style. Thus he flayed the R.A.'s—from West to Dance, and from Chambers to Wyatt—not forgetting their Royal patron, King George III. In Ode III. of the second series, entitledMore Odes to the Royal Academicians, after complaining that Gainsborough had kicked Dame Nature out of doors, he turns from the picture he censures to another, and exclaims:—

"Speak, Muse, who form'd that matchless head?The Cornish boy,[43]in tin-mines bred;Whose native genius, like his diamonds, shoneIn secret, till chance brought him to the sun.[44]'Tis Jackson's portrait—put the laurel on it,Whilst to that tuneful swan I pour a sonnet."

"Speak, Muse, who form'd that matchless head?The Cornish boy,[43]in tin-mines bred;Whose native genius, like his diamonds, shoneIn secret, till chance brought him to the sun.[44]'Tis Jackson's portrait—put the laurel on it,Whilst to that tuneful swan I pour a sonnet."

Peter then drops the lash, resumes his neglected lyre, and pours out a sonnet to "Jackson of Exeter," worthy of the twain—the "enchanting harmonist and the lyric bard."

Peter's poems were very dear to the purchaser, being printed in thin quarto pamphlets, at 2s.6d.each, and very little letter-press for the money. After the Royal Academicians, Peter attacked King George III. In 1785, Wolcot produced no less than twenty-three odes. In 1786, he published theLousiad, a Heroic Comic Poem, founded on the fact that an obnoxious insect (either of the garden or the body) had been discovered on the King's plate of some green peas, which produced a solemn decree that all the servants in the Royal kitchen were to have their heads shaved. In the hands of an unscrupulous satirist, like Wolcot, this ridiculous incident was a stinging theme. He also mercilessly quizzed Boswell, the biographer of Johnson. Sir Joseph Banks was another subject of his satire:—

"A President, on butterflies profound,Of whom all insect-mongers sing the praises,Went on a day to catch the game profound,On violets, dunghills, violet-tops, and daisies," &c.

"A President, on butterflies profound,Of whom all insect-mongers sing the praises,Went on a day to catch the game profound,On violets, dunghills, violet-tops, and daisies," &c.

From 1778 to 1808, above sixty of these political pamphlets were issued by Wolcot. So formidable was he considered, that the Ministry, as he alleged, endeavoured to bribe him to silence; he also boasted that his writings had been translated into six different languages. His ease and felicity, both of expression and illustration, are remarkable. In the following terse and lively lines, we have a good caricature sketch of Dr. Johnson's style.

"I own I like not Johnson's turgid style,That gives an inch the importance of a mile;Casts of manure a wagon-load around,To raise a simple daisy from the ground.Uplifts the club of Hercules—for what?To crush a butterfly or brain a gnat!Creates a whirlwind from the earth, to drawA goose's feather, or exalt a straw!Sets wheels on wheels in motion—such a clatter,To force up one poor nipperkin of water!Bids ocean labour with tremendous roar,To heave a cockle-shell upon the shore;Alike in every theme his pompous art,Heaven's awful thunder or a rumbling cart."

"I own I like not Johnson's turgid style,That gives an inch the importance of a mile;Casts of manure a wagon-load around,To raise a simple daisy from the ground.Uplifts the club of Hercules—for what?To crush a butterfly or brain a gnat!Creates a whirlwind from the earth, to drawA goose's feather, or exalt a straw!Sets wheels on wheels in motion—such a clatter,To force up one poor nipperkin of water!Bids ocean labour with tremendous roar,To heave a cockle-shell upon the shore;Alike in every theme his pompous art,Heaven's awful thunder or a rumbling cart."

Sometimes Peter himself got castigated for his satire on the sovereign. Here is an amusing instance. Those who recollect the figure of the satirist in his robust upright state, and the diminutive appearance of Mr. Nollekens, the sculptor, can readily picture to themselves their extreme contrast, when the former accosted the latter one evening at his gate in Tichfield Street, nearly in the following manner:—"Why, Nollekens, you never speak to me now; pray what is the reason?"Nollekens.—"Why you have published such lies of the King, and had the impudence to send them to me; but Mrs. Nollekens burnt them, and Idesire you'll send no more. The royal family are very good to me, and are great friends to all artists, and I don't like to hear anybody say anything against them." Upon which the Doctor put his cane upon the sculptor's shoulders, and exclaimed, "Well said, little Nolly; I like the man who sticks to his friends; you shall make a bust of me for that!" "I'll see you d—d first," answered Nollekens; "and I can tell you this besides—no man in the Royal Academy but Opie would have painted your picture; and you richly deserved the broken head you got from Gifford in Wright's shop. Mr. Cook, of Bedford Square, showed me his handkerchief dipped in your blood; and so now you know my mind. Come in, Cerberus, come in." His dog then followed him in, and he left the Doctor at the gate, which he barred up for the night.

A severer castigation he received from a brother author. It appears that William Gifford had wielded his galled pen against the morals and poetry of Wolcot. It was so stringent and caustic that the Doctor sought his lampooner in the shop of Mr. Wright, a political publisher in Piccadilly, opposite Old Bond Street. Thither Peter repaired with a stout cudgel in hand, determined to inflict a summary and severe chastisement on his literary opponent. Gifford was a small and weak person; Wolcot was large and strengthened by passion; but he was a coward, and after a short personal struggle, was turned into the street by two or three persons then in the shop. Gifford afterwards wrote and printedAn Epistle to Peter Pindar, in which he dealt out a most virulent tirade against the Doctor, who replied inA Cut at the Cobbler. Gifford had been apprenticed to a shoemaker.

As each published his own story of the transaction, the one in his own name, the other by his aide-de-camp, Mr. Wright, it may not be unamusing to recapitulate the different statements of the transaction:—

Peter Pindar.—"Determined to punish a R—— that dared to propagate a report the most atrocious, the mostopprobrious, and the most unfounded, I repaired to Mr. Wright's shop in Piccadilly tocatch him, as I understood that he paid frequent visits to his worthy friend and publisher. On opening the shop-door I saw several people, and among the rest, as I thought, Gyffard. I immediately asked him if his name was Gyffard? Upon his reply in the affirmative, without any further ceremony, I began to cane him. Wright and his customers and his shopmen immediately surrounded me, and wrested the cane from my hand. I then had recourse to the fist, and really was doing ample and easy justice to my cause, when I found my hands all on a sudden confined behind me, particularly by a tall Frenchman. Upon this Gyffard had time to run round, and with his own stick, a large one too, struck me several blows on the head. I was then hustled out of the shop, and the door was locked against me. I entreated them to let me in, but in vain. Upon the tall Frenchman's coming out of the shop, I told him that he was one of the fellows that held my hands. I have been informed that his name was Peltier. Gyffard has given out as a matter of triumph that he possesses my cane, and that he means to preserve it as a trophy. Let me recommend an inscription for it:—'The cane of Justice, with which I, William Gyffard, late cobbler of Ashburton, have been soundly drubbed for my infamy.'—I am, Sir, &c.,J. Wolcot."

Mr. Wright.—"Whoever is acquainted with the miscreant calling himself 'Peter Pindar,' needs not be informed, that his disregard and hatred of truth are habitual. He will not, therefore, be surprised to learn that the account this Peter has published in a morning paper is a shameless tissue of falsehoods from beginning to end.

"I was not in the shop when it happened; but I amauthorized, by the only two witnesses of it, to lay before the public the following statement:—

"Mr. Giffard was sitting by the window with a newspaper in his hand, when Peter Pindar came into the shop,and saying, 'Is not your name Giffard?' without waiting for an answer, raised a stick he had brought for the purpose, and levelled a blow at his head with all his force. Mr. Giffard fortunately caught the stick in his left hand, and quitting his chair, wrested it instantly from the cowardly assassin, and gave him two severe blows with it; one of which made a dreadful impression on Peter's skull. Mr. Giffard had raised the stick to strike him a third time, but seeing one of the gentlemen present about to collar the wretch, he desisted, and coolly said, 'Turn him out of the shop.' This wasliterally and truly allthat passed.

"After Peter was turned into the street, the spectacle of his bleeding head attracted a mob of hackney-coachmen, watermen, paviours, &c., to whom he told his lamentable case, and then, with a troop of boys at his heels, proceeded to a surgeon's in St. James's Street, to have his wounds examined, after which he slunk home.—J. Wright."

Peter used to boast that he was the only author that ever outwitted or took in a publisher. His works were very popular, and produced the writer a large annual income. Walker, his publisher, in Paternoster Row, was disposed to purchase the copyrights, and print a collected edition. He first made the author a handsome offer in cash, and then an annuity. The poet drove a hard bargain for the latter, and said that "as he was very old and in a dangerous state of health, with a d—d asthma and stone in the bladder, he could not last long." The publisher offered 200l.a year; the Doctor required 400l.and every time the Doctor visited the Row, he coughed violently, breathed apparently in much pain, and acted the incurable invalid in danger so effectively that the publisher at last agreed to pay him 250l.annually for life. A collected edition of his works was printed in 1812, but it is defective, for they were so numerous that the author could not retain them all in his memory. An imperfect list in theAnnual Biographyfor 1819 enumerates no less than sixty-four works. One of the portraits ofthe Doctor was published as a separate print, which did not sell to any extent; but its publisher derived a great profit by taking out the name of Peter Pindar and substituting that of "Renwick Williams the Monster," who was infamous for stabbing women in the street. This incident was told to Mr. Britton by Wolcot himself.

There is a fashion in the burlesque poetry of every age that is palatable to the public of that age only. The subjects of Wolcot's verses were ephemeral, and are now mostly forgotten. But his popularity was not entirely earned by his audacious personalities. His versification is nervous, his language racy and idiomatic, his wit often genuine; and through all his puns and quaintnesses there runs a strain of strong manly sense. Wolcot was equal to Churchill as a satirist, as ready and versatile in his powers, and possessed of a quick sense of the ludicrous, as well as a rich vein of fancy and humour. Some of his songs and effusions are tender and pleasing. Burns greatly admired his ballad of "Lord Gregory," and wrote another on the same subject. After all his biting satires on George III. and Pitt, he accepted a pension from the administration of which Pitt was the head—not to laud it, but to vituperate its opponents. He had a shrewd intellect, and his literary compositions have the finish of an artist; but he was utterly selfish, and was a self-indulgent voluptuary.

Peter lived to the age of eighty-one, much to the annoyance of his publisher, Walker. His last abode was in a small house in Montgomery's nursery-gardens, which occupied the site of the north side of Euston Square. Here he dwelt in a secluded, cheerless manner, the victim of an asthma, very deaf, and almost entirely blind, with only a female servant to attend him. His mind, however, retained its full power. He lived only for himself; declined dinner invitations, "to avoid the danger of loading his stomach with more than Nature required;" lay in bed the greater part of his time, because "it would be folly in him to be gropingaround his drawing-room," and because, "when up and in motion he was obliged to carry a load of eleven or twelve stone, while here he had only a few ounces of blanket to support." When out of bed, he amused himself with his violin, or examining, as well as his sight permitted, his crayons and pictures. He showed no aversion to "receive notoriety-hunters," who came to see and hear "Peter Pindar," but evinced no desire for society.

John Britton, who lived in Burton Street, often went to see Peter on a Saturday afternoon, and there met Mr. John Taylor, editor of theSunnewspaper. This gentleman was an inveterate and reckless punster, and often teased Peter by some pointless puns. At one of these visits, on taking leave, Taylor exclaimed, pointing to Peter's head and rusty wig, "Adieu! I leave thee without hope, for I seeOld Scratchhas thee in his claws." Peter died in the above house, January 14th, 1810, and was buried in the churchyard of St. Paul, Covent Garden, close to the grave of Butler. He left a considerable property to his relations. In early life he lived in the same parish, at No. 13, Tavistock Row; and in the garret of this house he wrote many of his invectives against George III. and the Royal Academicians. In 1807, he lodged in the first floor of a house in Pratt Place, Camden Town, rented by a Mr. and Mrs. Knight. The husband was a sea-faring man, seldom at home; and the Doctor, who was not over-scrupulous, is said to have seduced the wife's affections. Knight brought an action against the Doctor, but the jury very properly acquitted him of the charge.—See Cunningham's London, p. 409.

Peter was not emulous to shine as a wit in his colloquial intercourse, either with strangers or his most intimate associates. Indeed, his usual manner exhibited so little of that character which strangers had imagined of the writer of his lively satires, that they were commonly disappointed. The wife of a player, at whose house Wolcot often passed an evening, used to say that "his wit seems to lie in the bowlof a teaspoon." Angelo, in hisReminiscences, tells us that he could not guess the riddle, until one evening he observed that each time Peter replenished his glass goblet with brandy-and-water, in breaking the sugar, the corners of his lips were curled into a satisfactory smile, and he began some quaint story, as if, indeed, the new libation begot a new thought. To prove the truth of the discovery, one night, after supper, at his own home in Bolton Row, Angelo made the experiment. One of the party being in the secret, and fond of practical joking, came provided with some small square pieces of alabaster. Peter's glass waning fast, the joker contrived to slip the alabaster into a sugar-basin provided for the purpose; when the Doctor, reaching the hot water, and pouring in the brandy, the sugar-tongs were handed to him, and then the advanced basin of alabaster. "Thank you, my boy," said Peter, putting in five or six pieces, and taking his teaspoon, began stirring as he commenced his story. Unsuspicious of the trick, Peter proceeded, "Well, sirs,—and so the old parish priest. What I tell you (then his spoon was at work) happened when I was in that infernally hot place, Jamaica (then another stir). Sir, he was the fattest man on the island (then he pressed the alabaster); yes, d——, sir, and when the thermometer, at ninety-five, was dissolving every other man, this old slouching, drawling son of the church got fatter and fatter, until, sir—(curse the sugar! some devil-black enchanter has bewitched it.) By ——, sir, this sugar is part and parcel of that old pot-bellied parson—it will never melt;" and he threw the contents of the tumbler under the grate. The whole party burst into laughter, and the joke cut short the story. The mock sugar was slipped out of the way, and the Doctor, taking another glass, never suspected the frolic.

Peter, on seeing West's picture of Satan in the Exhibition, broke out in the following couplet:—

"Is this the mighty potentate of evil?'Tis damn'd enough, indeed, but not the Devil."

"Is this the mighty potentate of evil?'Tis damn'd enough, indeed, but not the Devil."

Dr. Syntax'sTour in Search of the Picturesquewas a large prize in the lottery of publication and was also a novelty in origin and writing. It was written to a set of designs instead of the designs being made to illustrate the poet: in other words, the artist preceded the author by making a series of drawings, in which he exhibited his hero in a succession of places, and in various associations, calculated to exemplify his hobby-horsical search for the picturesque. Some of these drawings, made by Rowlandson, than whom no artist ever expressed so much with so little effort, were shown at a dinner-party at John Bannister's, in Gower Street, when it was agreed that they should be recommended to Ackermann, in the Strand, for publication. That gentleman readily purchased, and handed them, two or three at a time, to William Combe, who was then confined in the King's Bench Prison for debt. He fitted the drawings with rhymes, and they were first published in thePoetical Magazine, where they became so popular that they extended to three tours in as many volumes, and passed through several editions. The work reminds one ofDrunken Barnaby's Journalby its humour: it has been called "rhyming, rambling, rickety, and ridiculous," but by a very inexperienced critic. The illustrations were, doubtless, the attraction, which was so great, that the demand kept pace with the supply. HenceSyntaxwas succeeded by theDance of Life, theDance of Death,Johnny Quægenus, andTom Raw the Griffin, all of the same class and character, and ultimately extending to 295 prints, with versified letter-press "by Dr. Syntax." Of late years these works have been republished at reduced prices.

Combe, the author of these strange works was of good family connection, had been educated at Eton and Oxford, and very early came into possession of a large fortune, in ready money. He started in the world by taking a large mansion at the west end of London, furnished it superblyhired servants, and bought carriages, and assembled around him a set of sycophants and parasites, who made short work of it, for from the commencement to the drop-scene of the farce did not exceed one year. The consequence was disgraceful ruin, and Combe fled from his creditors and from society. We next hear of him as a common soldier, and recognized at a public-house with a volume of Greek poetry in his hand. He was relieved; but he still lived a reckless life, by turns in the King's Bench Prison and the Rules, the limits of which do not appear to have been to him much punishment. Horace Smith, who knew Combe, refers to the strange adventures and the freaks of fortune of which he had been a participator and a victim: "a ready writer of all-work for the booksellers, he passed all the latter portion of his time withinthe Rules, to which suburban retreat the present writer was occasionally invited, and never left without admiring his various acquirements, and the philosophical equanimity with which he endured his reverses." Mr. Smith further states, that if there was a lack of matter occasionally to fill up the columns of their paper, "Combe would sit down in the publisher's back-room and extemporize a letter from Sterne at Coxwould, a forgery so well executed that it never excited suspicion." Mr. Robert Cole, the antiquary, had among his autographs a list of the literary works and letters of Combe.

Combe was principally employed by Ackermann, who, for several years, paid him at least 400l.a-year. On the first lithograph stone which Mr. Ackermann printed, when he had prepared everything for working, Combe wrote:—


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