[Greek: 'Ae d' Atae sthenazae te chai 'aztipos sunecha pasasPollou 'upechpzotheei, phthaneei d' de te pasan ep' aiachBlaptous' anthxopous.] Hom Il. ix. 505.
Time, the great good angel, Time, the merciful healer, assuaged the violence of Eric's grief, which seemed likely to settle down into a sober sadness. At first his letters to his parents and to Fairholm were almost unintelligible in their fierce abandonment of sorrow; but they grew calmer in time,--and while none of his school-fellows ever ventured in his presence to allude to Vernon, because of the emotion which the slightest mention of him excited, yet he rarely wrote any letters to his relations in which he did not refer to his brother's death, in language which grew at length both manly and resigned.
A month after, in the summer term, he was sitting alone in his study in the afternoon (for he could not summon up spirit enough to play regularly at cricket), writing a long letter to his aunt. He spoke freely and unreservedly of his past errors,--more freely than he had ever done before,--and expressed not only deep penitence, but even strong hatred of his previous unworthy courses. "I can hardly even yet realize," he added, "that I am alone here, and that I am writing to my aunt Trevor about the death of my brother, my noble, only brother, Vernon. Oh how my whole soul yearns towards him. Imustbe a better boy, Iwillbe better than I have been, in the hopes of meeting him again. Indeed, indeed, dear aunt, though I have been so guilty, I am laying aside, with all my might, idleness and all bad habits, and doing my very best to redeem the lost years. I do hope that the rest of my time at Roslyn will be more worthily spent than any of it has been as yet."
He finished the sentence, and laid his pen down to think, gazing quietly on the blue hills and sunlit sea. A feeling of hope and repose stole over him;--when suddenly he saw at the door, which was ajar, the leering eyes and villainously cunning countenance of Billy.
"What do you want?" he said angrily, casting at the intruder a look of intense disgust.
"Beg pardon, sir," said the man, pulling his hair. "Anything in my line, sir, to-day?"
"No!" answered Eric, rising up in a gust of indignation. "What business have you here? Get away instantly."
"Not had much custom from you lately, sir," said the man.
"What do you mean by having the insolence to begin talking to me? If you don't make yourself scarce at once, I'll--"
"O well," said the man; "if it comes to that, I've business enough. Perhaps you'll just pay me this debt," he continued, changing his fawning manner into a bullying swagger. "I've waited long enough."
Eric, greatly discomfited, took the dirty bit of paper. It purported to be a bill for various items of drink, all of which Ericknewto have been paid for, and among other things, a charge of £6 for the dinner at the "Jolly Herring."
"Why, you villain, these have all been paid. What! six pounds for the dinner! Why Brigson collected the subscriptions to pay for it before it took place."
"That's now't to me, sir. He never paid me; and as you was the young gen'lman in the cheer, I comes to you."
NowEric knew for the first time what Brigson had meant by his threatened revenge. He saw at once that the man had been put up to act in this way by some one, and had little doubt that Brigson was the instigator. Perhaps it might be even true, as the man said, that he had never received the money. Brigson was quite wicked enough to have embezzled it for his own purposes.
"Go," he said to the man; "you shall have the money in a week."
"And mind it bean't more nor a week. I don't chuse to wait for my money no more," said Billy, impudently, as he retired with an undisguised chuckle, which very nearly made Eric kick him down stairs.
What was to be done? To mention the subject to Owen or Montagu, who were best capable of advising him, would have been to renew the memory of unpleasant incidents, which he was most anxious to obliterate from the memory of all. He had not the moral courage to face the natural consequences of his past misconduct, and was now ashamed to speak of what he had not then been ashamed to do. He told Graham and Wildney, who were the best of his old associates, and they at once agreed thattheyought to be responsible for at least a share of the debt. Still, between them they could only muster three pounds out of the six which were required, and the week had half elapsed before there seemed any prospect of extrication from the difficulty; so Eric daily grew more miserable and dejected.
A happy thought struck him. He would go and explain the source of his trouble to Mr. Rose, his oldest, his kindest, his wisest friend. To him he could speak without scruple and without reserve, and from him he knew that he would receive nothing but the noblest advice and the warmest sympathy.
He went to him after prayers that night, and told his story.
"Ah, Eric, Eric!" said Mr. Rose; "you see, my boy, that sin and punishment are twins."
"O but, sir, I was just striving so hard to amend, and it seems cruel that I should receive at once so sad a check."
"There is only one way that I see, Eric. You must write home for the money, and confess the truth to them honestly, as you have to me."
It was a hard course for Eric's proud and loving heart to write and tell his aunt the full extent of his guilt. But he did it faithfully, extenuating nothing, and entreating her, as she loved him, to send the money by return of post.
It came, and with it a letter full of deep and gentle affection. Mrs. Trevor knew her nephew's character, and did not add by reproaches to the bitterness which she perceived he had endured; she simply sent him the money, and told him, that in spite of his many failures, "she still had perfect confidence in the true heart of her dear boy."
Touched by the affection which all seemed to be showing him, it became more and more the passionate craving of Eric's soul to be worthy of that love. But it is far, far harder to recover a lost path than to keep in the right one all along; and by one more terrible fall, the poor erring boy was to be taught for the last time the fearful strength of temptation, and the only source in earth and heaven from which deliverance can come. Theoretically he knew it, but as yet not practically. Great as his trials had been, and deeply as he had suffered, it was God's will that he should pass through a yet fiercer flame ere he could be purified from pride and passion and self-confidence, and led to the cross of a suffering Saviour, there to fling himself down in heart-rending humility, and cast his great load of cares and sins upon Him who cared for him through all his wanderings, and was leading him back through thorny places to the green pastures and still waters, where at last he might have rest.
The money came, and walking off straight to the Jolly Herring, he dashed it down on the table before Billy, and imperiously bade him write a receipt. The man did so, but with so unmistakable an air of cunning and triumph that Eric was both astonished and dismayed. Could the miscreant have any further plot against him? At first he fancied that Billy might attempt to extort money by a threat of telling Dr. Rowlands; but this supposition he banished as unlikely since it might expose Billy himself to very unpleasant consequences. Eric snatched the receipt, and said contemptuously, "Never come near me again; next time you come up to the studies I'll tell Carter to turn you out."
"Ho, ho, ho!" sneered Billy. "How mighty we young gents are all of a sudden. Unless you buy of me sometimes, you shall hear of me again; never fear, young gen'lman." He shouted out the latter words, for Eric had turned scornfully on his heel, and was already in the street. Obviously more danger was to be apprehended from this quarter. At first the thought of it was disquieting, but three weeks glided away, and Eric, now absorbed heart and soul in school work, began to remember it as a mere vague and idle threat. But one afternoon, to his horror, he again heard Billy's step on the stairs, and again saw the hateful iniquitous face at the door.
"Not much custom from you lately, sir," said Billy, mockingly. "Anything in my line to-day."
"Didn't I tell you never to come near me again, you foul villain? Go this instant, or I'll call Carter;" and, opening the window, he prepared to put his threat into execution.
"Ho, ho, ho! Better look at summat I've got first." It was a printed notice to the following effect--
"FIVE POUNDS REWARD.
"WHEREAS some evil-disposed persons stole some pigeons on the evening of April 6th from the Rev. H. Gordon's premises; the above reward will be given for any such information as may lead to the apprehension of the offenders."
Soon after the seizure of the pigeons there had been a rumor that Gordon had offered a reward of this kind, but the matter had been forgotten, and the boys had long fancied their secret secure, though at first they had been terribly alarmed.
"What do you show me that for?" he asked, reddening and then growing pale again.
Billy's only answer was to pass his finger slowly along the words "Five pounds reward!"
"Well?"
"I thinks I knows who took them pigeons."
"What's that to me?"
"Ho, ho, ho! that's a good un," was Billy's reply; and he continued to cackle as though enjoying a great joke.
"Unless you gives me five pound, anyhow, I knows where to get 'em. I know who them evil-disposed persons be! So I'll give ye another week to decide."
Billy shambled off in high spirits; but Eric sank back into his chair. Five pounds! The idea haunted him. How could he ever get them? To write home again was out of the question. The Trevors, though liberal, were not rich, and after just sending him so large a sum, it was impossible, he thought, that they should send him five pounds more at his mere request. Besides, how could he be sure that Billy would not play upon his fears to extort further sums? And to explain the matter to them fully was more than he could endure. He remembered now how easily his want of caution might have put Billy in possession of the secret, and he knew enough of the fellow's character to feel quite sure of the use he would be inclined to make of it. Oh how he cursed that hour of folly!
Five pounds! He began to think of what money he could procure. He thought again and again, but it was no use; only one thing was clear--hehad, not the money, and could not get it. Miserable boy! It was too late then! for him repentance was to be made impossible; every time he attempted it he was to be thwarted by some fresh discovery. And, leaning his head on his open palms, poor Eric sobbed like a child.
Five pounds! And all this misery was to come upon him for the want of five pounds! Expulsion wascertain, wasinevitablenow, and perhaps for Wildney too as well as for himself. After all his fine promises in his letters home,--yes, that reminded him of Vernon. The grave had not closed for a month over one brother, and the other would beexpelled. Oh misery, misery! He was sure it would break his mother's heart. Oh how cruel everything was to him!
Five pounds--he wondered whether Montagu would lend it him, or any other boy? But then it was late in the quarter, and all the boys would have spent the money they brought with them from home. There was no chance of any one having five pounds, and to a master hedarenot apply, not even to Mr. Rose. The offence was too serious to be overlooked, and if noticed at all, he fancied that, after his other delinquencies, itmust, as a matter of notoriety, be visited with expulsion. He could not face that bitter thought; he could not thus bring open disgrace upon his father's and his brother's name; this was the fear which kept recurring to him with dreadful iteration.
By the bye, he remembered that if he had continued captain of the school eleven, he would have had easy command of the money by being treasurer of the cricket subscriptions. But at Vernon's death he lost all interest in cricket for a time, and had thrown up his office, to which Montagu had been elected by the general suffrage.
He wondered whether there was as much as five pounds of the cricketing-money left? He knew that the box which contained it was in Montagu's study, and he also knew where the key was kept. It was merely a feeling of curiosity--he would go and look.
All this passed through Eric's mind as he sat in his study after Billy had gone. It was a sultry summer day; all the study-doors were open, and all their occupants were absent in the cricket-field, or bathing. He stole into Montagu's study, hastily got the key, and took down the box.
"O put it down, put it down, Eric," said Conscience; "what business have you with it?"
"Pooh! it is merely curiosity; as if I couldn't trust myself!"
"Put it down," repeated Conscience authoritatively, deigning no longer to argue or entreat.
Eric hesitated, and did put down the box; but he did not instantly leave the room. He began to look at Montagu's books, and then out of the window. The gravel play-ground was deserted, he noticed, for the cricket-field. Nobody was near, therefore. Well, what of that? he was doing no harm.
"Nonsense! Iwilljust look and see if there's five pounds in the cricket-box." Slowly at first he put out his hand, and then, hastily turning the key, opened the box. It contained three pounds in gold, and a quantity of silver. He began to count the silver, putting it on the table, and found that it made up three pounds ten more. "So that, altogether, there's six pounds ten; that's thirty shillings more than ...and it won't be wanted till next summer term, because all the bats and balls are bought now. I daresay Montagu won't even open the box again. I know he keeps it stowed away in a corner, and hardly ever looks at it, and I can put back the five pounds the very first day of next term, and it will save me from expulsion."
Very slowly Eric took the three sovereigns and put them in his pocket, and then he took up one of the heaps of shillings and sixpences which he had counted, and dropped them also into his trousers; they fell into the pocket with a great jingle....
"Eric, you are a thief!" He thought he heard his brother Vernon's voice utter the words thrillingly distinct; but it was conscience who had borrowed the voice, and, sick with horror, he began to shake the money out of his pockets again into the box. He was only just in time; he had barely locked the box, and put it in its place, when he heard the sound of voices and footsteps on the stairs. He had no time to take out the key and put it back where he found it, and had hardly time to slip into his own study again, when the boys had reached the landing.
They were Duncan and Montagu, and as they passed the door, Eric pretended to be plunged in books.
"Hallo, Eric! grinding as usual," said Duncan, good-humoredly; but he only got a sickly smile in reply.
"What! are you the only fellow in the studies?" asked Montagu. "I was nearly sure I heard some one moving about as we came up stairs."
"I don't think there's any one here but me," said Eric, "and I'm going a walk now."
He closed his books with, a bang, flew down stairs, and away through the play-ground towards the shore But he could not so escape his thoughts. "Eric, you are a thief! Eric, you are a thief!" rang in his ear. "Yes," he thought; "I am even a thief. Oh, good God, yes,evenathief, for Ihadactually stolen the money, until I changed my mind. What if they should discover the key in the box, knowing that I was the only fellow up stairs? Oh, mercy, mercy, mercy!"
It was a lonely place, and he flung himself, with his face hid in the coarse grass, trying to cool the wild burning of his brow. And as he lay, he thrust his hand into the guilty pocket. Good heavens! there was something still there. He pulled it out; it was a sovereign! Then he WAS a thief, even actually. Oh, everything was against him; and, starting to his feet, he flung the accursed gold over the rocks far into the sea.
When he got home he felt so inconceivably wretched that, unable to work, he begged leave to go to bed at once. It was long before he fell asleep; but when he did, the sleep was more terrible than the haunted wakefulness. For he had no rest from tormenting and horrid dreams. Brigson and Billy, their bodies grown to gigantic proportions, and their faces fierce with demoniacal wickedness, seemed to be standing over him, and demanding five pounds on pain of death. Flights of pigeons darkening the air, settled on him, and flapped about him. He fled from them madly through the dark midnight, but many steps pursued him. He saw Mr. Rose, and running up, seized him by the hand, and implored protection. But in his dream Mr. Rose turned from him with a cold look of sorrowful reproach. And then he saw Wildney, and cried out to him, "O Charlie, save me;" but Charlie ran away, saying, "Williams, you are a thief!" and then a chorus of voices took up that awful cry, voices of expostulation, voices of contempt, voices of indignation, voices of menace; they took up the cry, and repeated and re-echoed it; but, most unendurable of all, there were voices of wailing and voices of gentleness among them, and his soul died within him as he caught, amid the confusion of condemning sounds, the voices of Russell and Vernon, and they, too, were saying to him, in tender pity and agonized astonishment, "Eric, Eric, you are a thief!"
"For alas! alas! with meThe light of life is o'er;No more--no more--no more(Such language holds the solemn seaTo the sands upon the shore)Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree,Or the stricken eagle soar!"EDGAR A. POE.
The landlord of the Jolly Herring had observed during his visits to Eric, that at mid-day the studies were usually deserted, and the doors for the most part left unlocked. He very soon determined to make use of this knowledge for his own purposes, and as he was well acquainted with the building (in which for a short time he had been a servant), he laid his plans without the least dread of discovery.
There was a back entrance into Roslyn school behind the chapel, and it could be reached by a path through the fields without any chance of being seen, if a person set warily to work and watched his opportunity. By this path Billy came, two days after his last visit, and walked straight up the great staircase, armed with the excuse of business with Eric in case any one met or questioned him. But no one was about, since between twelve and one the boys were pretty sure to be amusing themselves out of doors; and after glancing into each of the studies, Billy finally settled on searching Montagu's (which was the neatest and best furnished), to see what he could get.
The very first thing which caught his experienced eye was the cricket-fund box, with the key temptingly in the lock, just where Eric had left it when the sounds of some one coming had startled him. In a moment Billy had made a descent on the promising-looking booty, and opening his treasure, saw, with lively feelings of gratification, the unexpected store of silver and gold. This he instantly transferred to his own pocket, and then replacing the box where he had found it, decamped with the spoil unseen, leaving the study in all other respects exactly as he had found it.
Meanwhile the unhappy Eric was tossed and agitated with apprehension and suspense. Unable to endure his misery in loneliness, he had made several boys to a greater or less degree participators in the knowledge of his difficult position, and in the sympathy which his danger excited, the general nature of his dilemma with Billy (though not its special circumstances) was soon known through the school.
At the very time when the money was being stolen, Eric was sitting with Wildney and Graham under the ruin by the shore, and the sorrow which lay at his heart was sadly visible in the anxious expression of his face, and the deep dejection of his attitude and manner.
The other two were trying to console him. They suggested every possible topic of hope; but it was too plain that there was nothing to be said, and that Eric had real cause to fear the worst. Yet though their arguments were futile, he keenly felt the genuineness of their affection, and it brought a little alleviation to his heavy mood.
"Well, well; at leastdohope the best, Eric," said Graham.
"Yes!" urged Wildney; "only think, dear old fellow, what lots of worse scrapes we've been in before, and how we've always managed to get out of them somehow."
"No, my boy; not worse scrapes," answered Eric. "Depend upon it this is the last for me; I shall not have the chance of getting into another atRoslyn, anyhow."
"Poor Eric! what shall I do if you leave?" said Wildney, putting his arm round Eric's neck. "Besides it's all my fault, hang it, that you got into this cursed row."
"'The curse is come upon, me, criedThe Lady of Shallott,'
"those words keep ringing in my ears," murmured Eric.
"Well, Eric, ifyouare sent away, I know I shall get my father to take me too, and then we'll join each other somewhere. Come, cheer up, old boy--being sent isn't such a very frightful thing after all."
"No" said Graham; "and besides, the bagging of the pigeons was only a lark, when one comes to think of it. It wasn't like stealing, you know;that'd be quite a different thing."
Eric winced visibly at this remark, but his companions did not notice it. "Ah," thought he, "there'sonepassage of my life which I never shall be able to reveal to any human soul."
"Come now, Eric," said Wildney, "I've got something to propose. You shall play cricket to-day; you haven't played for an age, and it's high time you should. If you don't you'll go mooning about the shore all day, and that'll never do, for you'll come back glummer than ever."
"No!" said Eric, with a heavy sigh, as the image of Vernon instantly passed through his mind; "no more cricket for me."
"Nay, but youmustplay to-day. Come, you shan't say no. You won't say no to me, will you, dear old fellow?" And Wildney looked up to him with that pleasant smile, and the merry light in his dark eyes, which had always been so charming to Eric's fancy.
"There's no refusing you," said Eric with the ghost of a laugh, as he boxed Wildney's ears. "O you dear little rogue, Charlie, I wish I were you."
"Pooh! pooh! now you shan't get sentimental again. As if you wern't fifty times better than me every way. I'm sure I don't know how I shall ever love you enough, Eric," he added more seriously, "for all your kindness to me."
"I'm so glad you're going to play, though," said Graham; "and so will everybody be; and I'm certain it'll be good for you. The game will divert your thoughts."
So that afternoon Eric, for the first time since Verny's death, played with the first eleven, of which he had been captain. The school cheered him vigorously as he appeared again on the field, and the sound lighted up his countenance with some gleam of its old joyousness. When one looked at him that day with his straw hat on and its neat light-blue ribbon, and the cricket dress (a pink jersey and leather belt, with a silver clasp in front), showing off his well-built and graceful figure, one little thought what an agony was gnawing like a serpent at his heart. But that day, poor boy, in the excitement of the game he half forgot it himself, and more and more as the game went on.
The other side, headed by Montagu, went in first, and Eric caught out two, and bowled several. Montagu was the only one who stayed in long, and when at last Eric sent his middle wicket flying with a magnificent ball, the shouts of "well bowled! well bowledindeed," were universal.
"Just listen to that, Eric," said Montagu; "why, you're out-doing every body to-day, yourself included, and taking us by storm."
"Wait till you see me come out for a duck," said Eric laughing.
"Not you. You're too much in luck to come out with a duck," answered Montagu. "You see I've already become the Homer of your triumphs, and vaticinate in rhyme."
And now it was Eric's turn to go in. It was long since he had stood before the wicket, but now he was there, looking like a beautiful picture as the sunlight streamed over him, and made his fair hair shine like gold. In the triumph of success his sorrows were flung to the winds, and his blue eyes sparkled with interest and joy.
He contented himself with blocking Duncan's balls until his eye was in; but then, acquiring confidence, he sent them flying right and left. His score rapidly mounted, and there seemed no chance of getting him out, so that there was every probability of his carrying out his bat.
"Oh,wellhit!wellhit! A three'r for Eric," cried Wildney to the scorer; and he began to clap his hands and dance about with excitement at his friend's success.
"Oh, well hit! well hit in--deed!" shouted all the lookers on, as Eric caught the next ball half-volley, and sent it whizzing over the hedge, getting a sixer by the hit.
At the next ball they heard a great crack, and he got no run, for the handle of his bat broke right off.
"How unlucky!" he said, flinging down the handle with vexation. "I believe this was our best bat."
"Oh, never mind," said Montagu; "we can soon get another; we've got lots of money in the box."
What had come over Eric? if there had been a sudden breath of poison in the atmosphere he could hardly have been more affected than he was by Montagu's simple remark. Montagu could not help noticing it, but at the time merely attributed it to some unknown gust of feeling, and made no comment. But Eric, hastily borrowing another bat, took his place again quite tamely; he was trembling, and at the very next ball, he spooned a miserable catch into Graham's hand, and the shout of triumph from the other side proclaimed that his innings was over.
He walked dejectedly to the pavilion for his coat, and the boys, who were seated in crowds about it, received him, of course, after his brilliant score, with loud and continued plaudits. But the light had died away from his face and figure, and he never raised his eyes from the ground.
"Modest Eric!" said Wildney chaffingly, "you don't acknowledge your honors."
Eric dropped his bat in the corner, put his coat across his arm, and walked away. As he passed Wildney, he stooped down and whispered again in a low voice--
"'The curse has come upon me, criedThe Lady of Shallott.'"
"Hush, Eric, nonsense," whispered Wildney; "you're not going away," he continued aloud, as Eric turned towards the school. "Why, there are only two more to go in!"
"Yes, thank you, I must go."
"Oh, then, I'll come too."
Wildney at once joined his friend. "There's nothing more the matter, is there?" he asked anxiously, when they were out of hearing of the rest.
"God only knows."
"Well, let's change the subject. You've being playing brilliantly, old fellow."
"Have I?"
"I should just think so, only you got out in rather a stupid way."
"Ah well! it matters very little."
Just at this moment one of the servants handed Eric a kind note from Mrs. Rowlands, with whom he was a very great favorite, asking him to tea that night. He was not very surprised, for he had been several times lately, and the sweet womanly kindness which she always showed him caused him the greatest pleasure. Besides, she had known his mother.
"Upon my word, honorsarebeing showered on you!" said Wildney. "First to getthescore of the season at cricket, and bowl out about half the other side, and then go to tea with the head-master. Upon my word! Why any of us poor wretches would give our two ears for such distinctions. Talk of curse indeed! Fiddlestick end!"
But Eric's sorrow lay too deep for chaff, and only answering with a sigh, he went to dress for tea.
Just before tea-time Duncan, and Montagu strolled in together. "How splendidly Eric played," said Duncan.
"Yes, indeed. I'm so glad. By the bye, I must see about getting a new bat. I don't know exactly how much money we've got, but I know there's plenty. Let's come and see."
They entered his study, and he looked about everywhere for the key. "Hallo," he said, "I'm nearly sure I left it in the corner of this drawer, under some other things; but it isn't there now. What can have become of it?"
"Where's the box?" said Duncan; "let's see if any of my keys will fit it. Hallo! whyyou'rea nice treasurer, Monty! here's the keyinthe box!"
"No, is it though?" asked Montagu, looking serious. "Here, give it me; I hope nobody's been meddling with it."
He opened it quickly, and stood in dumb and blank amazement to see it empty.
"Phew-w-w-w!" Montagu gave a long whistle.
"By Jove!" was Duncan's only comment.
The boys looked at each other, but neither dared to express what was in his thoughts.
"A bad, bad business! what's to be done, Monty?"
"I'll rush straight down to tea, and ask the fellows about it. Would you mind requesting Rose not to come in for five minutes? Tell him there's a row."
He ran down stairs hastily and entered the tea-room, where the boys were talking in high spirits about the match, and liberally praising Eric's play.
"I've got something unpleasant to say," he announced, raising his voice.
"Hush! hush! hush! what's the row?" asked half a dozen at once.
"The whole of the cricket money, some six pounds at least, has vanished from the box in my study!"
For an instant the whole room was silent; Wildney and Graham interchanged anxious glances.
"Does any fellow know anything about this?"
All, or most, had a vague suspicion, but no one spoke.
"Where is Williams?" asked one of the sixth form casually.
"He's taking tea with the Doctor," said Wildney.
Mr. Rose came in, and there was no opportunity for more to be said, except in confidential whispers.
Duncan went up with Owen and Montagu to their study. "What's to be done?" was the general question.
"I think we've all had a lesson once before not to suspect too hastily. Still, in a matter like this," said Montagu, "onemusttake notice of apparent cues."
"I know what you're thinking of, Monty," said Duncan.
"Well, then, did you hear anything when you and I surprised Eric suddenly two days ago?"
"I heard some one moving about in your study, as I thought."
"I heard more--though at the time it didn't strike me particularly. I distinctly heard the jingle of money."
"Well, it's no good counting up suspicious circumstances; we mustaskhim about it, and act accordingly.'
"Will he come up to the studies again to-night?"
"I think not," said Owen; "I notice he generally goes straight to bed after he has been out to tea; that's to say, directly after prayers."
The three sat there till prayer-time taciturn and thoughtful. Their books were open, but they did little work, and it was evident that Montagu was filled with the most touching grief. During the evening he drew out a little likeness which Eric had given him, and looked at it long and earnestly. "Is it possible?" he thought. "Oh Eric! can that face be the face of a thief?"
The prayer-bell dispelled his reverie. Eric entered with the Rowlands, and sat in his accustomed place. He had spent a pleasant, quiet evening, and, little knowing what had happened, felt far more cheerful and hopeful than he had done before, although he was still ignorant how to escape the difficulty which threatened him.
He couldn't help observing that as he entered he was the object of general attention; but he attributed it either to his playing that day, or to the circumstances in which he was placed by Billy's treachery, of which he knew that many boys were now aware. But when prayers were over, and he saw that every one shunned him, or looked and spoke in the coldest manner, his most terrible fears revived.
He went off to his dormitory, and began to undress. As he sat half abstracted on his bed doing nothing Montagu and Duncan entered, and he started to see them, for they were evidently the bearers of some serious intelligence.
"Eric," said Duncan, "do you know that some one has stolen all the cricket money?"
"Stolen--what--all?" he cried, leaping up as if he had been shot. "Oh, what new retribution is this?" and he hid his face, which had turned ashy pale, in his hands.
"To cut matters short, Eric, do you know anything about it?"
"If it is all gone, it is not I who stole it," he said, not lifting his head.
"Do you know anything about it?"
"No!" he sobbed convulsively. "No, no, no! Yet stop; don't let me add a lie.... Let me think. No, Duncan!" he said, looking up, "I donotknow who stole it."
They stood silent, and the tears were stealing down Montagu's averted face.
"O Duncan, Monty, be merciful, be merciful," said Eric. "Don'tyetcondemn me.Iam guilty, not ofthis, but of something as bad. I admit I was tempted; but if the money really is all gone, it isnotI who am the thief."
"You must know, Eric, that the suspicion against you is very strong, and rests on some definite facts."
"Yes, I know it must. Yet, oh, do be merciful, and don't yet condemn me. I have denied it. Am I a liar Monty? Oh Monty, Monty, believe me in this."
But the boys still stood silent.
"Well, then," he said, "I will tell you all. But I can only tell it to you, Monty. Duncan, indeed you mustn't be angry; you are my friend, but not so much as Monty. I can tell him, and him only."
Duncan left the room, and Montagu sat down beside Eric on the bed, and put his arm round him to support him, for he shook violently. There, with deep and wild emotion, and many interruptions of passionate silence, Eric told to Montagu his miserable tale. "I am the most wretched fellow living," he said; "there must be some fiend that hates me, and drives me to ruin. But let it all come; I care nothing, nothing, what happens to me now. Only, dear, dear Monty, forgive me, and love me still."
"O Eric, it is not for one like me to talk of forgiveness; you were sorely tempted. Yet God will forgive you if you ask him. Won't you pray to him to-night? I love you, Eric, still, with all my heart, and do you think God can be less kind than man? AndI, too, will pray for you, Eric. Good night, and God bless you" He gently disengaged himself--for Eric clung to him, and seemed unwilling to lose sight of him--and a moment after he was gone.
Eric felt terribly alone. He knelt down and tried to pray, but somehow it didn't seem as if the prayer came from his heart, and his thoughts began instantly to wander far away. Still he knelt--knelt even until his candle had gone out, and he had nearly fallen asleep, thought-wearied, on his knees. And then he got into bed still dressed. He had been making up his mind that he could bear it no longer, and would run away to sea that night.
He waited till eleven, when Dr. Rowlands took his rounds. The Doctor had been told all the circumstances of suspicion, and they amounted in his mind to certainty. It made him very sad, and he stopped to look at the boy from whom he had parted on such friendly terms so short a time before. Eric did not pretend to be asleep, but opened his eyes, and looked at the head-master. Very sorrowfully Dr. Rowlands shook his head, and went away. Eric never saw him again.
The moment he was gone Eric got up. He meant to go to his study, collect the few presents, which were his dearest mementos of Russell, Wildney, and his other friends--above all, Vernon's likeness--and then make his escape from the building, using for the last time the broken pane and loosened bar in the corridor, with which past temptations had made him so familiar.
He turned the handle of the door and pushed, but it did not yield. Half contemplating the possibility of such an intention on Eric's part, Dr. Rowlands had locked it behind him when he went out.
"Ha!" thought the boy, "then he, too, knows and suspects. Never mind. I must give up my treasures--yes, even poor Verny's picture; perhaps it is best I should, for I'm only disgracing his noble memory. But they shan't prevent me from running away."
Once more he deliberated. Yes, there could be no doubt about the decision. Hecould, not endure another public expulsion, or even another birching; hecouldnot endure the cold faces of even his best friends. No, no! hecouldnot face the horrible phantom of detection, and exposure, and shame. Escape he must.
After using all his strength in long-continued efforts, he succeeded in loosening the bar of his bed-room window. He then took his two sheets, tied them together in a firm knot, wound one end tightly round the remaining bar, and let the other fall down the side of the building. He took one more glance round his little room, and then let himself down by the sheet, hand under hand, until he could drop to the ground. Once safe, he ran towards Starhaven as fast as he could, and felt as if he were flying for his life. But when he got to the end of the playground he could not help stopping to take one more longing, lingering look at the scenes he was leaving for ever. It was a chilly and overclouded night, and by the gleams of struggling moonlight, he saw the whole buildings standing out black in the night air. The past lay behind him like a painting. Many and many unhappy or guilty hours had he spent in that home, and yet those last four years had not gone by without their own wealth of life and joy. He remembered how he had first walked across that playground, hand in hand with his father, a little boy of twelve. He remembered his first troubles with Barker, and how his father had at last delivered him from the annoyances of his old enemy. He remembered how often he and Russell had sat there, looking at the sea, in pleasant talk, especially the evening when he had got his first prize and head remove in the lower fourth; and how, in the night of Russell's death, he had gazed over that playground from the sick-room window. He remembered how often he had got cheered there for his feats at cricket and football, and how often he and Upton in old days, and he and Wildney afterwards, had walked there on Sundays, arm in arm. Then the stroll to Port Island, and Barker's plot against him, and the evening at the Stack passed through his mind; and the dinner at the Jolly Herring, and, above all, Vernon's death. Oh! how awful it seemed to him now, as he looked through the darkness at the very road along which they had brought Verny's dead body. Then his thoughts turned to the theft of the pigeons, his own drunkenness, and then his last cruel, cruel experiences, and this dreadful end of the day which, for an hour or two, had seemedsobright on that very spot where he stood. Could it be that this (oh, how little he had ever dreamed of it)--that this was to be the conclusion of his school days?
Yes, in those rooms, of which the windows fronted him, there they lay, all his schoolfellows--Montagu, and Wildney, and Duncan, and all whom he cared for best. And there was Mr. Rose's light still burning in the library window; and he was leaving the school and those who had been with him there so long, in the dark night, by stealth, penniless and broken-hearted, with the shameful character of a thief.
Suddenly Mr. Rose's light moved, and, fearing discovery or interception, he roused himself from the bitter reverie and fled to Starhaven through the darkness. There was still a light in the little sailors' tavern; and, entering, he asked the woman who kept it, "if she knew of any ship which was going to sail next morning?"
"Why, your'n is, bean't it, Maister Davey!" she asked, turning to a rough-looking sailor, who sat smoking in the bar.
"Ees," grunted the man.
"Will you take me on board?" said Eric.
"You be a runaway, I'm thinking?"
"Never mind. I'll come as cabin-boy--anything."
The sailor glanced at his striking appearance and neat dress. "Hardly in the cabun-buoy line I should say."
"Will you take me?" said Eric. "You'll find me strong and willing enough."
"Well--if the skipper don't say no. Come along."
They went down to a boat, and "Maister Davey" rowed to a schooner in the harbor, and took Eric on board.
"There," he said, "you may sleep there for to-night," and he pointed to a great heap of sailcloth beside the mast.
Weary to death, Eric flung himself down, and slept deep and sound till the morning, on board the "Stormy Petrel."
"They hadna sailed a league, a league,A league, but barely three,When the lift grew dark, and the wind grew high,And gurly grew the sea."SIR PATRICK SPENS.
"Hilloa!" exclaimed the skipper with a sudden start, next morning, as he saw Eric's recumbent figure on the ratlin-stuff, "Who be this young varmint!"
"Oh, I brought him aboord last night," said Davey; "he wanted to be cabun-buoy."
"Precious like unhelooks. Never mind, we've got him and we'll use him."
The vessel was under way when Eric woke, and collected his scattered thoughts to a remembrance of his new position. At first, as the Stormy Petrel dashed its way gallantly through the blue sea, he felt one absorbing sense of joy to have escaped from Roslyn. But before he had been three hours on board, his eyes were opened to the trying nature of his circumstances, which were, indeed,sotrying thatanythingin the world seemed preferable to enduring them. He had not been three hours on board when he would have given everything in his power to be back again; but such regrets were useless, for the vessel was now fairly on her way for Corunna, where she was to take in a cargo of cattle.
There were eight men belonging to the crew; and as the ship was only a little trading schooner, these were sailors of the lowest and meanest grade. They all seemed to take their cue from the captain, who was a drunken, blaspheming, and cruel vagabond.
This man from the first took a savage hatred to Eric, partly because he was annoyed with Davey for bringing him on board. The first words he addressed to him were--
"I say, you young lubber, you must pay your footing."
"I've got nothing to pay with. I brought no money with me."
"Well, then, you shall give us your gran' clothes. Them things isn't fit for a cabin-boy."
Eric saw no remedy, and making a virtue of necessity, exchanged his good cloth suit for a rough sailor's shirt and trowsers, not over clean, which the captain gave him. His own clothes were at once appropriated by that functionary, who carried them into his cabin. But it was lucky for Eric that, seeing how matters were likely to go, he had succeeded in secreting his watch.
The day grew misty and comfortless, and towards evening the wind rose to a storm. Eric soon began to feel very sick, and, to make his case worse, could not endure either the taste, smell, or sight of such coarse food as was contemptuously flung to him.
"Where am I to sleep?" he asked, "I feel very sick."
"Babby," said one of the sailors, "what's your name?"
"Williams."
"Well, Bill, you'll have to get over your sickness pretty soon,Ican tell ye. Here," he added, relenting a little, "Davey's slung ye a hammock in the forecastle."
He showed the way, but poor Eric in the dark, and amid the lurches of the vessel, could hardly steady himself down the companion-ladder, much less get into his hammock. The man saw his condition, and, sulkily enough, hove him into his place.
And there, in that swinging bed, where sleep seemed impossible, and out of which, he was often thrown, when the ship rolled and pitched through the dark, heaving, discolored waves, and with dirty men sleeping round him at night, until the atmosphere of the forecastle became like poison, hopelessly and helplessly sick, and half-starved, the boy lay for two days. The crew neglected him shamefully. It was nobody's business to wait on him, and he could procure neither sufficient food, nor any water; they only brought him some grog to drink, which in his weakness and sickness was nauseous to him as medicine.
"I say, you young cub down there," shouted the skipper to him from the hatchway, "come up and swab this deck."
He got up, and after bruising himself severely, as he stumbled about to find the ladder, made an effort to obey the command. But he staggered from feebleness when he reached the deck, and had to grasp for some fresh support at every step.
"None of that 'ere slobbering and shamming, Bill. Why, d---- you, what d'ye think you're here for, eh? You swab the deck, and in five minutes, or I'll teach you, and be d---- d."
Sick as death, Eric slowly obeyed, but did not get through his task without many blows and curses. He felt very ill--he had no means of washing or cleaning himself; no brush, or comb, or soap, or clean linen; and even his sleep seemed unrefreshful when the waking brought no change in his condition. And then the whole life of the ship was odious to him. His sense of refinement was exquisitely keen, and now to be called Bill, and kicked and cuffed about by these gross-minded men, and to hear their rough, coarse, drunken talk, and sometimes endure their still, more intolerable familiarities, filled him with deeply-seated loathing.
His whole soul rebelled and revolted from them all, and, seeing his fastidious pride, not one of them showed him the least glimpse of open kindness, though he observed that one of them did seem to pity him in heart.
Things grew worse and worse. The perils which he had to endure at first, when ordered about the rigging, were what affected him least; he longed for death, and often contemplated flinging himself into those cold deep waves which he gazed on daily over the vessel's side. Hope was the only thing which supported him. He had heard from one of the crew that the vessel would be back in not more than six weeks, and he made a deeply seated resolve to escape the very first day that they again anchored in an English harbor.
The homeward voyage was even more intolerable, for the cattle on board greatly increased the amount of necessary menial and disgusting work which fell to his snare, as well as made the atmosphere of the close little schooner twice as poisonous as before. And to add to his miseries, his relations with the crew got more and more unfavorable, and began to reach their climax.
One night the sailor who occupied the hammock next to his heard him winding up his watch. This he always did in the dark, as secretly and silently as he could, and never looked at it, except when no one could observe him; while, during the day, he kept both watch and chain concealed in his trousers.
Next morning the man made proposals to him to sell the watch, and tried by every species of threat and promise to extort it from him. But the watch had been his mother's gift, and he was resolute never to part with it into such hands.
"Very well, you young shaver, I shall tell the skipper and he'll soon get it out of you as your footing, depend on it."
The fellow was as good as his word, and the skipper demanded the watch as pay for Eric's feed, for he maintained that he'd done no work, and was perfectly useless. Eric, grown desperate, still refused, and the man struck him brutally on the face, and at the same time aimed a kick at him, which he vainly tried to avoid. It caught him on the knee-cap, and put it out, causing him the most excruciating agony.
He now could do no work whatever, not even swab the deck. It was only with difficulty that he could limp along, and every move caused him violent pain. He grew listless and dejected, and sat all day on the vessel's side, eagerly straining his eyes to catch any sight of land, or gazing vacantly into the weary sameness of sea and sky.
Once, when it was rather gusty weather, all hands were wanted, and the skipper ordered him to furl a sail.
"I can't," said Eric, in an accent of despair, barely stirring, and not lifting his eyes to the man's unfeeling face.
"Can't, d---- you. Can't. We'll soon see whether you can or no! You do it, orIshall have to mend your leg for you;" and he showered down a storm of oaths.
Eric rose, and resolutely tried to mount the rigging, determined at least to give no ground he could help to their wilful cruelty. But the effort was vain, and with a sharp cry of suffering he dropped once more on deck.
"Cursed young brat! I suppose you think we're going to bother ourselves with you, and yer impudence, and get victuals for nothing. It's all sham. Here, Jim, tie him up."
A stout sailor seized the unresisting boy, tied his hands together, and then drew them up above his head, and strung them to the rigging.
"Why didn't ye strip him first, d---- you?" roared the skipper.
"He's only got that blue shirt on, and that's soon mended," said the man, taking hold of the collar of the shirt on both sides, and tearing it open with a great rip.
Eric's white back was bare, his hands tied up, his head hanging, and his injured leg slightly lifted from the ground. "And now for some rope-pie for the stubborn young lubber," said the skipper, lifting a bit of rope as he spoke.
Eric, with a shudder, heard it whistle through the air, and the next instant it had descended on his back with a dull thump, rasping away a red line of flesh. Now Eric knew for the first time the awful reality of intense pain; he had determined to utter no sound, to give no sign; but when the horrible rope fell on him, griding across his back, and making his body literally creak under the blow, he quivered like an aspen-leaf in every limb, and could not suppress the harrowing murmur, "Oh God, help me, help me."
Again the rope whistled in the air, again it grided across the boy's naked back, and once more the crimson furrow bore witness to the violent laceration. A sharp shriek of inexpressible agony rang from his lips, so shrill, so heart-rending, that it sounded long in the memory of all who heard it. But the brute who administered the torture was untouched. Once more, and again, the rope rose and fell, and under its marks the blood first dribbled, and then streamed from the white and tender skin.
But Eric felt no more; that scream had been the last effort of nature; his head had dropped on his bosom, and though his limbs still seemed to creep at the unnatural infliction, he had fainted away.
"Stop, master, stop, if you don't want to kill the boy outright," said Roberts, one of the crew, stepping forward, while the hot flush of indignation burned through his tanned and weather-beaten cheek. The sailors called him "Softy Bob," from that half-gentleness of disposition which had made him, alone of all the men, speak one kind or consoling word for the proud and lonely cabin-boy.
"Undo him then, and be--," growled the skipper and rolled off to drink himself drunk.
"I doubt he's well-nigh done for him already," said Roberts, quickly untying Eric's hands, round which the cords had been pulled so tight as to leave two blue rings round his wrists. "Poor fellow, poor fellow! it's all over now," he murmured soothingly, as the boy's body fell motionless into his arms, which he hastily stretched to prevent him from tumbling on the deck.
But Eric heard not; and the man, touched with the deepest pity, carried him down tenderly into his hammock, and wrapped him up in a clean blanket, and sat by him till the swoon should be over.
It lasted very long, and the sailor began to fear that his words had been prophetic.
"How is the young varmint?" shouted the skipper, looking into the forecastle.
"You've killed him, I think."
The only answer was a volley of oaths; but the fellow was sufficiently frightened to order Roberts to do all he could for his patient.
At last Eric woke with a moan. To think was too painful, but the raw state of his back, ulcerated with the cruelty he had undergone, reminded him too bitterly of his situation. Roberts did for him all that could be done, but for a week Eric lay in that dark and fetid place, in the languishing of absolute despair. Often and often the unbidden tears flowed from very weakness from his eyes, and in the sickness of his heart, and the torment of his wounded body, he thought that he should die.
But youth is very strong, and it wrestled with despair, and agony, and death, and, after a time, Eric could rise from his comfortless hammock. The news that land was in sight first roused him, and with the help of Roberts, he was carried on deck, thankful, with childlike gratitude, that God suffered him to breathe once more the pure air of heaven, and sit under the canopy of its gold-pervaded blue. The breeze and the sunlight refreshed him, as they might a broken flower; and, with eyes upraised, he poured from his heart a prayer of deep unspeakable thankfulness to a Father in Heaven.
Yes! at last he had remembered his Father's home. There, in the dark berth, where every move caused irritation, and the unclean atmosphere brooded over his senses like lead; when his forehead burned, and his heart melted within him, and he had felt almost inclined to curse his life, or even to end it by crawling up and committing himself to the deep cold water which, he heard rippling on the vessel's side; then, even then, in that valley of the shadow of death, a Voice had come to him--a still small Voice--at whose holy and healing utterance Eric had bowed his head, and listened to the messages of God, and learnt his will; and now, in humble resignation, in touching penitence with solemn self-devotion, he had cast himself at the feet of Jesus, and prayed to be helped, and guided, and forgiven. One little star of hope rose in the darkness of his solitude, and its rays grew brighter and brighter, till they were glorious now. Yes, for Jesus' sake he was washed, he was cleansed, he was sanctified, he was justified; he would fear no evil, for God was with him and underneath were the everlasting arms.
And while he sat there, undisturbed at last, and unmolested by harsh word or savage blow, recovering health with every breath of the sea wind, the skipper came up to him, and muttered something half-like an apology.
The sight of him, and the sound of his voice, made Eric shudder again, but he listened meekly, and, with no flash of scorn or horror, put out his hand to the man to shake. There was something touching and noble in the gesture, and, thoroughly ashamed of himself for once, the fellow shook the proffered hand, and slunk away.
They entered the broad river at Southpool.
"I must leave the ship when we get to port, Roberts," said Eric.
"I doubt whether you'll let you," answered Roberts, jerking his finger towards the skipper's cabin.
"Why?"
"He'll be afeard you might take the law on him."
"He needn't fear."
Roberts only shook his head.
"Then I must run away somehow. Will you help me?"
"Yes, that I will."
That very evening Eric escaped from the Stormy Petrel, unknown to all but Roberts. They were in the dock, and he dropped into the water in the evening, and swam to the pier, which was only a yard or two distant; but the effort almost exhausted his strength, for his knee was still painful, and he was very weak.
Wet and penniless, he knew not where to go, but spent the sleepless night under an arch. Early the next morning he went to a pawnbroker's, and raised £2:10s. on his watch, with which money he walked straight to the railway station.
It was July, and the Roslyn summer holidays had commenced. As Eric dragged his slow way to the station, he suddenly saw Wildney on the other side of the street. His first impulse was to spring to meet him, as he would have done in old times. His whole heart yearned towards him. It was six weeks now since Eric had seen one loving face, and during all that time he had hardly heard one kindly word. And now he saw before him the boy whom he loved so fondly, with whom he had spent so many happy hours of school-boy friendship, with whom he had gone through so many schoolboy adventures, and who, he believed, loved him fondly still.
Forgetful for the moment of his condition, Eric moved across the street. Wildney was walking with his cousin, a beautiful girl, some four years older than himself, whom he was evidently patronising immensely. They were talking very merrily, and Eric overheard the word Roslyn. Like a lightning-flash the memory of the theft, the memory of his ruin came upon him; he looked down at his dress--it was a coarse blue shirt, which Roberts had given him in place of his old one, and the back of it was stained and saturated with blood from his unhealed wounds; his trousers were dirty, tarred, and ragged, and his shoes, full of holes, barely covered his feet. He remembered too that for weeks he had not been able to wash, and that very morning, as he saw himself in a looking-glass at a shop-window, he had been deeply shocked at his own appearance. His face was white as a sheet, the fair hair matted and tangled, the eyes sunken and surrounded with a dark color, and dead and lustreless. No! he could not meet Wildney as a sick and ragged sailor-boy; perhaps even he might not be recognised if he did. He drew back, and hid himself till the merry-hearted pair had passed, and it was almost with a pang of jealousy that he saw how happy Wildney could be, whilehewas thus; but he cast aside the unworthy thought at once. "After all, how is poor Charlie to know what has happened to me?"