The Earl of Cattenborough will be Pleased to Partake of a Potato
Once upon a time there was a miller who had three sons, Charles, Sam, and John. And every night when the servant went to bed he used to call out:
"Good-night, Missus; good-night, Master; Good-night, Charles, Sam, John."
Now after a time the miller's wife died, and, soon after, the miller, leaving only the mill, the donkey, and the cat. And Charles, as the eldest, took themill, and Sam took the donkey and went off with it, and John was left with only the cat.
Now how do you think the cat used to help John to live? She used to take a bag with a string around the top and place it with some cheese in the bushes, and when a hare or a partridge would come and try to get the piece of cheese—snap! Miss Puss would draw the string and there was the hare or partridge for Master Jack to eat. One day two hares happened to rush into the bag at the same time. So the cat, after giving one to Jack, took the other and went with it to the King's palace. And when she came outside the palace gate she cried out, "Miaou."
The sentry at the gate came to see what was the matter. Miss Puss gave him the hare with a bow and said: "Give this to the King with the compliments of the Earl of Cattenborough."
The King liked jugged hare very much and was glad to get such a fine present.
Shortly after this Miss Puss found a gold coin rolling in the dirt. And she went up to the palace and asked the sentry if he would lend her a corn measure.
The sentry asked who wanted it. And Puss said: "My Master, the Earl of Cattenborough."
So the sentry gave her the corn measure. And a little while afterwards she took it back with the gold coin, which she had found, fixed in a crack in the corn measure.
So the King was told that the Earl of Cattenborough measured his gold in a corn measure. When the King heard this he told the sentry that if such a thing happened again he was to deliver a message asking the Earl to come and stop at the palace.
Some time after the cat caught two partridges, and took one of them to the palace. And when she called out, "Miaou," and presented it to the sentry, in the name of the Earl of Cattenborough, the sentry told her that the King wished to see the Earl at his palace.
So Puss went back to Jack and said to him: "The King desires to see the Earl of Cattenborough at his palace."
"What is that to do with me?" said Jack.
"Oh, you can be the Earl of Cattenborough if you like. I'll help you."
"But I have no clothes, and they'll soon find out what I am when I talk."
"As for that," said Miss Puss, "I'll get you proper clothes if you do what I tell you; and when you come to the palace I will see that you do not make any mistakes."
So next day she told Jack to take off his clothes and hide them under a big stone and dip himself into the river. And while he was doing this she went up to the palace gate and said: "Miaou, miaou, miaou!"
And when the sentry came to the gate she said: "My Master, the Earl of Cattenborough, has beenrobbed of all he possessed, even of his clothes, and he is hiding in the bramble bush by the side of the river. What is to be done? What is to be done?"
The sentry went and told the King. And the King gave orders that a suitable suit of clothes, worthy of an Earl, should be sent to Master Jack, who soon put them on and went to the King's palace accompanied by Puss. When they got there they were introduced into the chamber of the King, who thanked Jack for his kind presents.
Miss Puss stood forward and said: "My Master, the Earl of Cattenborough, desires to state to your Majesty that there is no need of any thanks for such trifles."
The King thought it was very grand of Jack not to speak directly to him, and summoned his lord chamberlain, and from that time onward only spoke through him. Thus, when they sat down to dinner with the Queen and the Princess, the King would say to his chamberlain, "Will the Earl of Cattenborough take a potato?"
Whereupon Miss Puss would bow and say: "The Earl of Cattenborough thanks his Majesty and would be glad to partake of a potato."
The King was so much struck by Jack's riches and grandeur, and the Princess was so pleased with his good looks and fine dress that it was determined that he should marry the Princess.
But the King thought he would try and see if he were really so nobly born and bred as he seemed.So he told his servants to put a mean truckle bed in the room in which Jack was to sleep, knowing that no noble would put up with such a thing.
When Miss Puss saw this bed she at once guessed what was up. And when Jack began to undress to get into bed, she made him stop, and called the attendants to say that he could not sleep in such a bed.
So they took him into another bedroom, where there was a fine four-poster with a dais, and everything worthy of a noble to sleep upon. Then the King became sure that Jack was a real noble, and married him soon to his daughter the Princess.
After the wedding feast was over the King told Jack that he and the Queen and the Princess would come with him to his castle of Cattenborough, and Jack did not know what to do. But Miss Puss told him it would be all right if he only didn't speak much while on the journey. And that suited Jack very well.
So they all set out in a carriage with four horses, and with the King's life-guards riding around it. But Miss Puss ran on in front of the carriage, and when she came to a field where men were mowing down the hay she pointed to the life-guards riding along, and said: "Men, if you do not say that this field belongs to the Earl of Cattenborough those soldiers will cut you to pieces with their swords."
So when the carriage came along the King called one of the men to the side of it and said, "Whose is this field?"
And the man said, "It belongs to the Earl of Cattenborough."
And the King turned to his son-in-law and said, "I did not know that you had estates so near us."
And Jack said, "I had forgotten it myself."
And this only confirmed the King in his idea about Jack's great wealth.
A little farther on there was another great field in which men were raking hay. And Miss Puss spoke to them as before. So, when the carriage came up, they also declared that this field belonged to the Earl of Cattenborough. And so it went on through the whole drive. Then the King said, "Let us now go to your castle."
Then Jack looked at Miss Puss, and she said: "If your Majesty will but wait an hour I will go on before and order the castle to be made ready for you."
With that she jumped away and went to the castle of a great ogre and asked to see him. When she came into his presence she said:
"I have come to give you warning. The King with all his army is coming to the castle and will batter its walls down and kill you if he finds you here."
"What shall I do? What shall I do?" said the ogre.
"Is there no place where you can hide yourself?"
"I am too big to hide," said the ogre, "but my mother gave me a powder, and when I take that I can make myself as small as I like."
"Well, why not take it now?" said the cat.
The Cat and the Ogre
And with that he took the powder and shrunk into a little body no bigger than a mouse. And thereupon Miss Puss jumped upon him and ate him all up, and then went down into the great yard of the castle and told the guards that it now belonged to her Master the Earl of Cattenborough. Then she ordered them to open the gates and let in the King's carriage, which came along just then.
The King was delighted to find what a fine castle his son-in-law possessed, and left his daughter the Princess with him at the castle while he droveback to his own palace. And Jack and the Princess lived happily in the castle.
But one day Miss Puss felt very ill and lay down as if dead, and the chamberlain of the castle went to Jack and said:
"My lord, your cat is dead."
And Jack said: "Well, throw her out on the dunghill."
But Miss Puss, when she heard it, called out: "Had you not better throw me into the mill stream?"
And Jack remembered where he had come from and was frightened that the cat would say. So he ordered the physician of the castle to attend to her, and ever after gave her whatever she wanted.
And when the King died he succeeded him, and that was the end of the Earl of Cattenborough.
"Had You not Better Throw me into the Millstream?"
The Child Finds the Feather Dress
There was once a hunter who used often to spend the whole night stalking the deer or setting traps for game. Now it happened one night that he was watching in a clump of bushes near the lake for some wild ducks that he wished to trap. Suddenly he heard, high up in the air, a whirring of wings and thought the ducks were coming; and he strung his bow and got ready his arrows. But instead of ducks there appeared seven maidens all clad in robes made of feathers, and they alighted on the banks of the lake, and taking off their robes plunged into thewaters and bathed and sported in the lake. They were all beautiful, but of them all the youngest and smallest pleased most the hunter's eye, and he crept forward from the bushes and seized her dress of plumage and took it back with him into the bushes.
After the swan maidens had bathed and sported to their heart's delight, they came back to the bank wishing to put on their feather robes again; and the six eldest found theirs, but the youngest could not find hers. They searched and they searched till at last the dawn began to appear, and the six sisters called out to her:
"We must away; 'tis the dawn; you meet your fate whatever it be." And with that they donned their robes and flew away, and away, and away.
When the hunter saw them fly away he came forward with the feather robe in his hand; and the swan maiden begged and begged that he would give her back her robe. He gave her his cloak but would not give her her robe, feeling that she would fly away. And he made her promise to marry him, and took her home, and hid her feather robe where she could not find it. So they were married and lived happily together and had two fine children, a boy and a girl, who grew up strong and beautiful; and their mother loved them with all her heart.
One day her little daughter was playing at hide-and-seek with her brother, and she wentbehind the wainscoting to hide herself, and found there a robe all made of feathers, and took it to her mother. As soon as she saw it she put it on and said to her daughter:
"Tell father that if he wishes to see me again he must find me in the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon;" and with that she flew away.
When the hunter came home next morning his little daughter told him what had happened and what her mother said. So he set out to find his wife in the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon. And he wandered for many days till he came across an old man who had fallen on the ground, and he lifted him up and helped him to a seat and tended him till he felt better.
Then the old man asked him what he was doing and where he was going. And he told him all about the swan maidens and his wife, and he asked the old man if he had heard of the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon.
And the old man said: "No, but I can ask."
Then he uttered a shrill whistle and soon all the plain in front of them was filled with all of the beasts of the world, for the old man was no less than the King of the Beasts.
And he called out to them: "Who is there here that knows where the Land is East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon?" But none of the beasts knew.
Then the old man said to the hunter: "Youmust go seek my brother who is the King of the Birds," and told him how to find his brother.
And after a time he found the King of the Birds, and told him what he wanted. So the King of the Birds whistled loud and shrill, and soon the sky was darkened with all the birds of the air, who came around him. Then he asked:
"Which of you knows where is the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon?"
And none answered, and the King of the Birds said:
"Then you must consult my brother the King of the Fishes," and he told him how to find him.
And the hunter went on, and he went on, and he went on, till he came to the King of the Fishes, and he told him what he wanted. And the King of the Fishes went to the shore of the sea and summoned all the fishes of the sea. And when they came around him he called out:
"Which of you knows where is the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon?"
And none of them answered, till at last a dolphin that had come late called out:
"I have heard that at the top of the Crystal Mountain lies the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon; but how to get there I know not save that it is near the Wild Forest."
So the hunter thanked the King of the Fishes and went to the Wild Forest. And as he got near there he found two men quarrelling, and as hecame near they came towards him and asked him to settle their dispute.
"Now what is it?" said the hunter.
The Dolphin who Came Late
"Our father has just died and he has left but two things, this cap which, whenever you wear it, nobody can see you, and these shoon, which will carry you through the air to whatever place you will. Now I being the elder claim the right of choice, which of these two I shall have; and he declares that, as the younger, he has the right to the shoon. Which do you think is right?"
So the hunter thought and thought, and at last he said:
"It is difficult to decide, but the best thing I can think of is for you to race from here to that tree yonder, and whoever gets back to me first I will hand him either the shoes or the cap, whichever he wishes."
So he took the shoes in one hand and the cap in the other, and waited till they had started off running towards the tree. And as soon as they had started running towards the tree he put on the shoes of swiftness and placed the invisible cap on his head and wished himself in the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon. And he flew, and he flew, and he flew, over seven Bends, and seven Glens, and seven Mountain Moors, till at last he came to the Crystal Mountain. And on the top of that, as the dolphin had said, there was the Land East o' the Sun and West o' the Moon.
Now when he got there he took off his invisible cap and shoes of swiftness and asked who ruled over the Land; and he was told that there was a King who had seven daughters who dressed in swans' feathers and flew wherever they wished.
Then the hunter knew that he had come to the Land of his wife. And he went boldly to the King and said:
"Hail O King, I have come to seek my wife."
And the King said, "Who is she?"
And the hunter said, "Your youngest daughter." Then he told him how he had won her.
Then the King said: "If you can tell her from her sisters then I know that what you say is true." And he summoned his seven daughters to him, and there they all were, dressed in their robes of feathers and looking each like all the rest.
So the hunter said: "If I may take each of them by the hand I will surely know my wife"; for when she had dwelt with him she had sewn the little shifts and dresses of her children, and the forefinger of her right hand had the marks of the needle.
And when he had taken the hand of each of the swan maidens he soon found which was his wife and claimed her for his own. Then the King gave them great gifts and sent them by a sure way down the Crystal Mountain.
And after a while they reached home, and lived happily together ever afterwards.
East o' the Sun & West o' the Moon
Androcles and the Lion
It happened in the old days at Rome that a slave named Androcles escaped from his master and fled into the forest, and he wandered there for a long time till he was weary and well nigh spent with hunger and despair. Just then he heard a lion near him moaning and groaning and at times roaring terribly. Tired as he was Androcles rose up and rushed away, as he thought, from the lion; but as he made his way through thebushes he stumbled over the root of a tree and fell down lamed, and when he tried to get up there he saw the lion coming towards him, limping on three feet and holding his fore-paw in front of him. Poor Androcles was in despair; he had not strength to rise and run away, and there was the lion coming upon him. But when the great beast came up to him instead of attacking him it kept on moaning and groaning and looking at Androcles, who saw that the lion was holding out his right paw, which was covered with blood and much swollen. Looking more closely at it Androcles saw a great big thorn pressed into the paw, which was the cause of all the lion's trouble. Plucking up courage he seized hold of the thorn and drew it out of the lion's paw, who roared with pain when the thorn came out, but soon after found such relief from it that he fawned upon Androcles and showed, in every way that he knew, to whom he owed the relief. Instead of eating him up he brought him a young deer that he had slain, and Androcles managed to make a meal from it. For some time the lion continued to bring the game he had killed to Androcles, who became quite fond of the huge beast.
But one day a number of soldiers came marching through the forest and found Androcles, and as he could not explain what he was doing they took him prisoner and brought him back to the town from which he had fled. Here his mastersoon found him and brought him before the authorities, and he was condemned to death because he had fled from his master. Now it used to be the custom to throw murderers and other criminals to the lions in a huge circus, so that while the criminals were punished the public could enjoy the spectacle of a combat between them and the wild beasts. So Androcles was condemned to be thrown to the lions, and on the appointed day he was led forth into the Arena and left there alone with only a spear to protect him from the lion. The Emperor was in the royal box that day and gave the signal for the lion to come out and attack Androcles. But when it came out of its cage and got near Androcles, what do you think it did? Instead of jumping upon him it fawned upon him and stroked him with its paw and made no attempt to do him any harm. It was of course the lion which Androcles had met in the forest. The Emperor, surprised at seeing such a strange behaviour in so cruel a beast, summoned Androcles to him and asked him how it happened that this particular lion had lost all its cruelty of disposition. So Androcles told the Emperor all that had happened to him and how the lion was showing its gratitude for his having relieved it of the thorn. Thereupon the Emperor pardoned Androcles and ordered his master to set him free, while the lion was taken back into the forest and let loose to enjoy liberty once more.
Day-Dreaming
Now there was once a man at Bagdad who had seven sons, and when he died he left to each of them one hundred dirhems; and his fifth son, called Alnaschar the Babbler, invested all this money in some glassware, and, putting it in a big tray, from which to show and sell it, he sat down on a raised bench, at the foot of a wall, against which he leant back, placing the tray on the ground in front of him. As he sat he began day-dreaming and said to himself: "I have laid out a hundred dirhems on this glass. Now I will surely sell it for two hundred, and with it I will buy more glass and sell that for four hundred;nor will I cease to buy and sell till I become master of much wealth. With this I will buy all kinds of merchandise and jewels and perfumes and gain great profit on them till, God willing, I will make my capital a hundred thousand dinars or two million dirhems. Then I will buy a handsome house, together with slaves and horses and trappings of gold, and eat and drink, nor will there be a singing girl in the city but I will have her to sing to me." This he said looking at the tray before him with glassware worth a hundred dirhems. Then he continued: "When I have amassed a hundred thousand dinars I will send out marriage-brokers to demand for me in marriage the hand of the Vizier's daughter, for I hear that she is perfect in beauty and of surpassing grace. I will give her a dowry of a thousand dinars, and if her father consent, 'tis well; if not, I will take her by force, in spite of him. When I return home, I will buy ten little slaves and clothes for myself such as are worn by kings and sultans and get a saddle of gold, set thick with precious jewels. Then I will mount and parade the city, with slaves before and behind me, while the people will salute me and call down blessings upon me: after which I will go to the Vizier, the girl's father, with slaves behind and before me, as well as on either hand. When the Vizier sees me, he will rise and seating me in his own place, sit down below me, because I am his son-in-law. Now I will have with me two slaveswith purses, in each a thousand dinars, and I will give him the thousand dinars of the dowry and make him a present of another thousand dinars so that he may recognize my nobility and generosity and greatness of mind and the littleness of the world in my eyes; and for every ten words he will say to me, I will answer him only two. Then I will return to my house, and if any one come to me on the bride's part, I will make him a present of money and clothe him in a robe of honour; but if he bring me a present I will return it to him and will not accept it so that they may know how great of soul I am." After a while Alnaschar continued: "Then I will command them to bring the Vizier's daughter to me in state and will get ready my house in fine condition to receive her. When the time of the unveiling of the bride is come, I will put on my richest clothes and sit down on a couch of brocaded silk, leaning on a cushion and turning my eyes neither to the right nor to the left, to show the haughtiness of my mind and the seriousness of my character. My bride shall stand before me like the full moon, in her robes and ornaments, and I, out of my pride and my disdain, will not look at her, till all who are present shall say to me: 'O my lord, thy wife and thy handmaid stands before thee; deign to look upon her, for standing is irksome to her.' And they will kiss the earth before me many times, whereupon I will lift my eyes and give one glance at her, then bend downmy head again. Then they will carry her to the bride-chamber, and meanwhile I will rise and change my clothes for a richer suit. When they bring in the bride for the second time, I will not look at her till they have implored me several times, when I will glance at her and bow down my head; nor will I cease doing thus, till they have made an end of parading and displaying her. Then I will order one of my slaves to fetch a purse, and, giving it to the tire-women, command them to lead her to the bride-chamber. When they leave me alone with the bride, I will not look at her or speak to her, but will sit by her with averted face, that she may say I am high of soul. Presently her mother will come to me and kiss my head and hands and say to me: 'O my lord, look on thy handmaid, for she longs for thy favour, and heal her spirit,' But I will give her no answer; and when she sees this, she will come and kiss my feet and say, 'O my lord, verily my daughter is a beautiful girl, who has never seen man; and if thou show her this aversion, her heart will break; so do thou be gracious to her and speak to her.' Then she will rise and fetch a cup of wine, and her daughter will take it and come to me; but I will leave her standing before me, while I recline upon a cushion of cloth of gold, and will not look at her to show the haughtiness of my heart, so that she will think me to be a Sultan of exceeding dignity and will say to me: 'O my lord, for God's sake,do not refuse to take the cup from thy servant's hand, for indeed I am thy handmaid.' But I will not speak to her, and she will press me, saying: 'Needs must thou drink it,' and put it to my lips. Then I will shake my fist in her face and spurn her with my foot thus." So saying, he gave a kick with his foot and knocked over the tray of glass, which fell over to the ground, and all that was in it was broken.
There was once a man and he had three sons, and when he died they all had to go out to seek a living. So the eldest went out first, leaving his two brothers at home, and went to a neighbouring farmer to try and get work from him.
"Well, well, my man," said the farmer, "I can give you work but on only one condition."
"What is that?"
"I cannot abear any high talk on my farm. You must keep cool and not lose your temper."
"Oh, never bother about that," said the youngster, "I never lose my temper, or scarcely ever."
"Ah, but if you do," said the farmer, "I make it a condition that I shall tear a strip of your skin from your nape to your waist; that will make a pretty ribbon to tie around the throat of my dog there."
"That doesn't suit me," was the reply. "So fare thee well, master, I must try another place."
"Keep cool, keep cool," said the farmer. "I am a just man; what's good for the man I consider good for the master. So if I should lose my temperI am quite willing that you should take the ribbon of flesh from my back."
"Oh, if that's so," said the youngster, "I'll agree to stay. But we must have it in black and white."
So they sent for the notary and wrote it all down that if either lost his temper he should also lose a strip of skin from his back. But the eldest son had not been in the house a week when the master gave him so hard a task that he lost his temper and had to give up a strip of skin from his back. So he went home and told his brothers about it.
Well, the brothers were savage at hearing what he had suffered. And the second son went to the same man in the hope of getting revenge for his brother. But the same thing happened to him, and he had to come with a strip of skin from his back like his elder brother.
Now the third son, whose name was Jack, made up his mind he wouldn't be done like the other two. And he went to the man and he engaged himself to serve him for the same wage but on the same conditions that his two brothers had done.
The very first morning that Jack had to go out to work his master gave him a piece of dry bread and told him to mind the sheep.
"Is this all I'm to get to eat?" said Jack.
"Why, yes," said the master; "there'll be supper when you come home."
Jack was going to complain when his master called out to him, "Keep cool, Jack, keep cool," and pointed to his back.
So Jack swallowed his rage and went out into the field. But on his way he met a man, to whom he sold one of the sheep for five shillings, and went and bought enough to eat and drink for a whole week.
When he got home that evening his master began to count the sheep, and when he found one was missing, he said to Jack:
"You've let one of the sheep run away."
"No, no, sir," said Jack, "I sold him to a man passing along."
"You shouldn't have done that without my telling you; but where's the money?"
"Oh, with the money," said Jack, "I went and bought me some eats." And he showed him what he had bought.
The master was going to fly in a rage, but Jack said to him: "Keep cool, master, keep cool," and pointed to his back. So he remembered and said nothing more.
The next day Jack was ordered to take the pigs to market to sell them, and after he had cut off all their tails he sold them and pocketed the money; and then he went to a marsh near the farm and planted all the tails in the marsh.
When he got home the master asked him if he had sold the pigs.
He said: "No, they all rushed into the marsh at the foot of the valley."
"I don't believe you," said the master, and was going to get into a rage when Jack said to him:
"Keep cool, master, keep cool."
So he went with Jack to the marsh, and when he saw the pigs' tails all peeping out the marsh he went and plucked one of them out of the ground, and Jack said:
"There, you've torn the tail from the poor pig's back."
Then the master was going to get into a rage again but Jack said: "Keep cool, master, keep cool," and pointed to his back.
Next day the master didn't like sending Jack out with the animals or else he might sell them to get some dinner. So he said to him:
"Jack, I want you today to clean the horses and the stable within and without."
"Very well, master," said Jack, and went to the stable; and he whitewashed it within and he whitewashed it without. Then he went to the horses and killed them and took out their insides and cleaned them within; and then he washed their skins.
In the evening the master came to see how Jack had got on with his work and was delighted to find the stable looking so clean.
"But where are the horses?" he said; and Jack pointed to them lying dead on their backs.
"Why, what have you done?" said the master.
"You told me to clean them within and without and how could I clean them within without killing them?" said Jack.
Then the master was just going to fly into a rage, when Jack said to him: "Keep cool, master, keep cool," and pointed to his back.
So next day the master had sent Jack out with the sheep, but so that he should not sell any of them to get money for his lunch he sent his wife with them telling her to watch Jack from behind a bush, and if he tried to sell any of the sheep to stop him. But Jack saw her and didn't say anything or try and sell any of the sheep.
But next day, when he went out with them, he took with him his gun, and when the farmer's wife got behind the bush to watch him, he called out: "Ah, wolf, I see you," and fired his gun at her and hit her in the leg. She screamed out, and the master came running up and said:
"What's this, Jack, what's this?"
Then Jack said: "Why, master, I thought that was a wolf and I shot my gun at it and it turned out to be the missus."
"How dare you, you scoundrel, shoot my wife!" cried out the master.
"Don't be in a rage, master, don't be in a rage," said Jack.
"Anybody would be in a rage if his wife was shot," said the master.
"Well, then," said Jack, "I'll have that strip off your back." And as there were witnesses present the master had to let Jack take a strip of skin from his back.
And with that he went home to his brothers.
The Pig's Tail
The Dummy
There was once a farmer who had a son named Will, and he sent him out in the world to learn a trade and seek his fortune. Now he hadn't gone far when he was stopped by a band of robbers who called out to him:
"Your purse or your life!"
And he gave them his purse and said: "That is an easy way of getting money, I'd like to be a robber myself."
So they agreed to take him into their band if he could show he was able to do a robber's work. And the first person who went through the wood again they sent Will to see if he could rob him. So he went up to the man and said to him:
"Your purse or your life!"
The man gave him his purse, whereupon Will took all the money out of it and gave it back to the man and took the purse back to the robbers, who said:
"Well, what luck?"
"Oh, I got his purse from him quite easily; here it is."
"Well, what about the money?" said they.
"Well, that I gave back to him. You only asked me to say, 'Your purse or your life.'"
At that the robbers roared with laughter and said: "You'll never be a thief."
Will was quite ashamed of making such a fool of himself and determined he would do better next time.
So one day he saw two farmers driving a herd of cattle to market, and told the robbers that he knew a way to take the cattle from them without fighting for them.
"If you do that," said they, "you will be a Master Thief."
Then Will went a little way ahead of the robbers with a stout cord, which he tied under his armpits and then fixed himself upon a branch of a tree over the road so that it looked as if he had been hanged.
When the farmers came with their cattle they said: "There's one of the robbers hung up for an example," and drove their cattle on farther.
Then Will got down, and running across a bypath got again in front of the farmers and hung himself up as before on a tree by the side of the road.
When the farmers came up to him one of them said: "Goodness gracious me, why there's the same robber hanged up here again."
"Oh, that's not the same robber," said the other.
"Yes, it is," said the first, "for I noticed he had a white horn button on his coat, and see, there it is. It must be the same man."
"How could that be?" said the other. "We left that one hanging up dead half a mile back."
"I am sure it is."
"I am certain it isn't."
"Well, give a good look at him, and we'll go back and see if it isn't the same."
So the farmers went back to look, and Will took their cattle and drove them back to the robbers, who agreed that he was a Master Thief.
He stopped with them for several years and made much money, and then drove back in a carriage and pair to his father's farm.
When he came there his father came to the carriage and bowed to him and asked him, "What is your pleasure, sir?"
"Oh, I want to make some inquiries about a young fellow named William who used to be on this farm. What has become of him?"
"Oh, I don't know; he was my son and I have not heard from him for many years; I am afraid he has come to no good."
"Look at me closely and see if you see any resemblance to him."
Then the farmer recognized Will and took him into the farmhouse and called Will's mother to come and welcome him back.
"So, Will, you've come back in a carriage and pair," said she. "How have you earnt so much money?"
So Will told his mother that he had become a Master Thief but begged her not to mention it to any one, but to tell them that he had been an explorer and had found gold.
Well, the very next day a neighbouring gossip called in upon Will's mother and asked her to tell her the news about Will and what he had been doing.
So she said: "Oh, Will has been an exploiter, I mean explorer, but he really was a Master Thief. But you mustn't tell anybody; you'll promise, won't you?"
So the gossip promised, but of course the moment she got home she told all about Will being a Master Thief.
Now the lord of the village soon heard of this,and he called Will up to him and said: "I hear you are a Master Thief. You know that you deserve death for that. But if you can prove that you are really a master in your thievery I will let you go free. First let us see whether you can steal my horse out of my stable to-night."
To prevent his horse being stolen, the lord ordered it to be saddled and put a stable boy on it, telling him to stop there all night.
Will took two flasks of brandy into one of which he had poured a drug, and dressing himself as an old woman he went to the lord's stable late at night and asked to rest there as it was so cold and she was so tired.
The stable boy pointed to some straw in the corner and told the woman she might rest there for a time.
When she sat down she took one of the brandy flasks out of her pocket and drank it off, saying, "Ah, that warms one! Would you like to have a drink?"
And when the stable boy said "Yes," Will gave him the other flask, and as soon as he had drunk it he fell dead asleep.
So Will lifted him off of the horse and put him on the cross-bar of the stable as if he were riding, and then he got on the horse and rode away.
In the morning the lord went down to the stable and there he saw the stable boy riding the cross-bar and his horse gone.
Then Will rode up to the stable on the lord's horse and said: "Am I not a Master Thief?"
"Oh, stealing my horse was not so hard. Let us see if you can steal the sheet from off my bed to-night. But, look out, if you come near my bedroom I shall shoot you."
That night Will took a dummy man and propped it up on a ladder, which he put up to the lord's bedroom.
And when the lord saw the dummy coming in at the window he shot his pistol at it and it fell down. He rushed downstairs and out into the open air looking to see if he had shot Will.
Meanwhile Will went up to the lord's bedroom and, speaking in the lord's voice, said to his wife: "Give me the sheet, my dear, to wrap the body of that poor Master Thief in."
So she gave him the sheet and he went away.
Next morning Will brought up the sheet to the lord, who said: "That was a good trick, I must confess. But if you want really to prove that you are a Master Thief bring to me the priest in a bag, and then I will own your mastery."
So that night Will took a number of crabs and tied candle ends upon them, and taking them to the cemetery lit the candle ends and let them loose.
When the priest of the village saw these lights moving over the cemetery he came to the door and watched them and called out:
"What is that?"
Now Will had dressed himself up like an angel.
"It is the last day of judgment, and I have come for thee, Father Lawrence, to carry thee to heaven. Come within this bag, and in a short time thou wilt be in thine appointed place."
So Father Lawrence crept within the bag, and Will dragged him along, and when he bumped against the ground Father Lawrence said:
"Oh, we must be going through purgatory."
And then Will took him to the hen-coops and threw him in among the chickens and ducks and geese, and Father Lawrence said:
"We must be getting near the angels for I hear the rustling of their wings."
So Will went up to the lord's house and made him come down to the hen-coops and there showed him the priest in the bag, and the lord said:
"I do not know how you do these things. I cannot tell if you are really a Master Thief unless you take my horse from under me. If you can do that I will call you the Master of all Master Thieves."
Well, next day, Will dressed himself up as an old woman, and taking a cart with an old horse put in it a cask of beer, and then went driving along with his thumb in the bunghole.
Soon after he met the lord on horseback who asked him if he had seen a man like Will lurking about there in the forest.
"I think I have," said Will, "and could bringhim to you if you wanted. But I can't leave this cask before the taps come out; I have to keep my thumb in the bunghole."
"Oh, I will do that," said the lord, "if you will only go and get that man. Take my horse and run him down."
So Will got on the lord's horse and rode off, leaving the nobleman with his thumb in the bunghole. He waited and he waited and he waited till at last he drove in the cart back to his house, and there he saw no less a person than Will himself riding his horse.
Then the noble said unto Will: "You are indeed a Master Thief. Go your way in peace."