THE PURE-BLOODED PUP

Once there was a little pup who lived in far-off Kent,Where he was born some years ago in kennels of Lord Dent;His mother was of purest blood and likewise was his pa,So he arrived upon this earth without a single flaw.His tail was just the proper size and so was each small ear,His shapely legs and nose and paws, they pleased his mother dear;And with her soft and scarlet tongue she kissed her baby pup,And loved him, oh, so dearly that she almost ate him up.The keeper of the kennels when he saw this terrier pup,Declared, "It's just a beauty and will surely win 'THE CUP,'For being a fox terrier of very purest breed,And now to my dear master I'll go with greatest speed."And tell him of this puppy who will bring our kennels fame,And ask him what he thinks will be a truly proper nameFor the most perfect terrier that ever came to Kent;It seems to me he should be called for my great master 'Dent.'"The master when he heard the news that a new pup had come,Left off his game of playing cards and drinking pints of rum,And hastened to the kennels to behold the wondrous pup,Who at the coming dog show was to win the great prize cup.The mother dog she wagged her tail, with pride she was puffed up,As her great master stood right near and smiled upon her pup,While saying, "Higgens, listen well to what I have to say,And care for this good mother dog and her fine pup each day."I'll name him for my ancestor, the great and famous Kent,And in that name to the dog show next year he shall be sent,Where I am sure he'll win the prize above all others there,For he is perfect in his shape and has fine silky hair."So little Kent was tended well and petted every day,He never had to seek for bones and only had to play,And having nothing else to do on mischief he was bent,Was this aristocratic pup, owned by the great Lord Dent.And when a year had passed around, one day the master cameTo take him to the London show, where he would win great fame;But Kent was very naughty, as he did not wish to goAway from his good kennel home to any prize dog show.At last his master whipped Pup Kent and, oh, but he did swear,Because Kent snapped at Higgens, who was combing his fine hairAnd putting on a collar with a chain of golden beads;Such ornaments Kent could not see that any puppy needs.At last the royal pup was dressed in pupdom regal style,And drove in a fine carriage, oh, for many a weary mile,Until he came to London town, where nothing he could see,Because all things were hidden with a fog as thick as could be.Before he'd even time to think, this 'ristocratic pup,He found himself in a small cage with all the doors shut up,And many men were standing round and gazing long at him,While passing comments on his shape of head, and tail, and limb.Kent glared at them in silence and he would not wag his tail,In fact, just like a good young boy who might be put in jailWhen he had never done a thing to break the country's law,So felt this little terrier, this pup without a flaw.And when the judges thought that he should have the ribbon blueBecause of his most perfect blood shown by the records true,He snapped and barked and even bit at those who came quite nearTo tie the lovely ribbon on the neck of "PUPPY DEAR."So they decided that despite his wondrous pedigreeThere yet was something in his blood that ought not there to be,And gave the prize, a silver cup, to a more common dog,Who lay so still and quiet that he might have been a log.But when that evening our Lord Dent beheld with great surpriseThat a less blooded terrier had won the noble prize,He felt so very angry that he wished to beat Pup Kent,And ordered that the beastly dog should quickly home be sent.But while poor Kent was going home so sad and in disgrace,He got away from Higgens and he found another placeFar, far away from kennels of the great and wealthy Dent,Near to a peaceful village, the runaway he went.Here he lay down so tired and thought of many a bone,Which now was being gnawed each day by his good ma alone,Since Kent, her darling puppy boy, was, oh, so far away,Oh, how he wished to gnaw a bone with his good ma this day!But as he lay a-dreaming of lovely things to eat,Quite suddenly a large gray rat ran right across his feet,And after it there followed an Irishman named Pat,Who sought to make a timely end of bad old Mister Rat.Big Pat was armed with a huge club and called to his old dog,"Now, come along, ye lazy baste, before he's in the bog!"Then Kent he jumped and in one bound he seized poor Mister Rat,Shook him about till he was dead and then brought him to Pat.Big Pat he gazed in wonder at the clever little dog,And sitting down upon a large and green, moss covered log,Said, "Shure, ye bate this lazy hound that kennot catch a rat,And if ye'll stay right here, me boy, I'll trate ye well," says Pat.Then proudly Kent he wagged his tail and tried so hard to smileUpon the good old Irishman, who patted him a while,Then coaxed the stranger after him right through a broad green lane,Which led to the fine country home of good Sir Michael Kane.And here Pat introduced the pup to all the family,And they were all so very kind as any folks could be.They patted his soft silky hair and praised him to the sky,And gave him a big gravy dish all filled with nice meat pie,And likewise a huge saucer, which was full of real sweet cream,Which made the hungry doggie think that he was in a dream.So here Dog Kent decided was the best place for to dwell,And here he still is living and is feeling' very well.He goes each morning to the barn and helps his good friend PatTo catch the naughty rodents, who are called the name of RAT.The cook she feeds him daily, and he captures all the mice,Which love to haunt the kitchen of the cleanly Bridget Bryce.While little Mikey loves dear Kent far more than all his toys,And says that he'd rather play with him than any girls or boys,Because he never minds a bit to jump right in the pondAnd bring to land a stick or stone or weeping willow wand.He always acts politely to all who may come near,And so all strangers pet him and think he is a dear.They like his soft and silky hair, which proves he has good blood,And never does he make folks mad by tracking floors with mud.He's wiser than most common dogs, whose hair is rough and coarse,His bark is always pleasant, and 'tis never loud nor hoarse;He's swifter also than slow dogs who cannot catch a rat,Because they always eat too much and get so very fat.Moral:This story proves that good, pure blood is a fine thing to own,But it can't help the puppies or the children all alone,Unless these youthful puppies and the children, very small,Learn to keep quite busy and to have a smile for all.

Once there was a little pup who lived in far-off Kent,

Where he was born some years ago in kennels of Lord Dent;

His mother was of purest blood and likewise was his pa,

So he arrived upon this earth without a single flaw.

His tail was just the proper size and so was each small ear,His shapely legs and nose and paws, they pleased his mother dear;And with her soft and scarlet tongue she kissed her baby pup,And loved him, oh, so dearly that she almost ate him up.

His tail was just the proper size and so was each small ear,

His shapely legs and nose and paws, they pleased his mother dear;

And with her soft and scarlet tongue she kissed her baby pup,

And loved him, oh, so dearly that she almost ate him up.

The keeper of the kennels when he saw this terrier pup,Declared, "It's just a beauty and will surely win 'THE CUP,'For being a fox terrier of very purest breed,And now to my dear master I'll go with greatest speed."And tell him of this puppy who will bring our kennels fame,And ask him what he thinks will be a truly proper nameFor the most perfect terrier that ever came to Kent;It seems to me he should be called for my great master 'Dent.'"

The keeper of the kennels when he saw this terrier pup,

Declared, "It's just a beauty and will surely win 'THE CUP,'

For being a fox terrier of very purest breed,

And now to my dear master I'll go with greatest speed.

"And tell him of this puppy who will bring our kennels fame,

And ask him what he thinks will be a truly proper name

For the most perfect terrier that ever came to Kent;

It seems to me he should be called for my great master 'Dent.'"

The master when he heard the news that a new pup had come,Left off his game of playing cards and drinking pints of rum,And hastened to the kennels to behold the wondrous pup,Who at the coming dog show was to win the great prize cup.

The master when he heard the news that a new pup had come,

Left off his game of playing cards and drinking pints of rum,

And hastened to the kennels to behold the wondrous pup,

Who at the coming dog show was to win the great prize cup.

The mother dog she wagged her tail, with pride she was puffed up,As her great master stood right near and smiled upon her pup,While saying, "Higgens, listen well to what I have to say,And care for this good mother dog and her fine pup each day.

The mother dog she wagged her tail, with pride she was puffed up,

As her great master stood right near and smiled upon her pup,

While saying, "Higgens, listen well to what I have to say,

And care for this good mother dog and her fine pup each day.

"I'll name him for my ancestor, the great and famous Kent,And in that name to the dog show next year he shall be sent,Where I am sure he'll win the prize above all others there,For he is perfect in his shape and has fine silky hair."

"I'll name him for my ancestor, the great and famous Kent,

And in that name to the dog show next year he shall be sent,

Where I am sure he'll win the prize above all others there,

For he is perfect in his shape and has fine silky hair."

So little Kent was tended well and petted every day,He never had to seek for bones and only had to play,And having nothing else to do on mischief he was bent,Was this aristocratic pup, owned by the great Lord Dent.

So little Kent was tended well and petted every day,

He never had to seek for bones and only had to play,

And having nothing else to do on mischief he was bent,

Was this aristocratic pup, owned by the great Lord Dent.

And when a year had passed around, one day the master cameTo take him to the London show, where he would win great fame;But Kent was very naughty, as he did not wish to goAway from his good kennel home to any prize dog show.

And when a year had passed around, one day the master came

To take him to the London show, where he would win great fame;

But Kent was very naughty, as he did not wish to go

Away from his good kennel home to any prize dog show.

At last his master whipped Pup Kent and, oh, but he did swear,Because Kent snapped at Higgens, who was combing his fine hairAnd putting on a collar with a chain of golden beads;Such ornaments Kent could not see that any puppy needs.

At last his master whipped Pup Kent and, oh, but he did swear,

Because Kent snapped at Higgens, who was combing his fine hair

And putting on a collar with a chain of golden beads;

Such ornaments Kent could not see that any puppy needs.

At last the royal pup was dressed in pupdom regal style,And drove in a fine carriage, oh, for many a weary mile,Until he came to London town, where nothing he could see,Because all things were hidden with a fog as thick as could be.

At last the royal pup was dressed in pupdom regal style,

And drove in a fine carriage, oh, for many a weary mile,

Until he came to London town, where nothing he could see,

Because all things were hidden with a fog as thick as could be.

Before he'd even time to think, this 'ristocratic pup,He found himself in a small cage with all the doors shut up,And many men were standing round and gazing long at him,While passing comments on his shape of head, and tail, and limb.

Before he'd even time to think, this 'ristocratic pup,

He found himself in a small cage with all the doors shut up,

And many men were standing round and gazing long at him,

While passing comments on his shape of head, and tail, and limb.

Kent glared at them in silence and he would not wag his tail,In fact, just like a good young boy who might be put in jailWhen he had never done a thing to break the country's law,So felt this little terrier, this pup without a flaw.And when the judges thought that he should have the ribbon blueBecause of his most perfect blood shown by the records true,He snapped and barked and even bit at those who came quite nearTo tie the lovely ribbon on the neck of "PUPPY DEAR."

Kent glared at them in silence and he would not wag his tail,

In fact, just like a good young boy who might be put in jail

When he had never done a thing to break the country's law,

So felt this little terrier, this pup without a flaw.

And when the judges thought that he should have the ribbon blue

Because of his most perfect blood shown by the records true,

He snapped and barked and even bit at those who came quite near

To tie the lovely ribbon on the neck of "PUPPY DEAR."

So they decided that despite his wondrous pedigreeThere yet was something in his blood that ought not there to be,And gave the prize, a silver cup, to a more common dog,Who lay so still and quiet that he might have been a log.

So they decided that despite his wondrous pedigree

There yet was something in his blood that ought not there to be,

And gave the prize, a silver cup, to a more common dog,

Who lay so still and quiet that he might have been a log.

But when that evening our Lord Dent beheld with great surpriseThat a less blooded terrier had won the noble prize,He felt so very angry that he wished to beat Pup Kent,And ordered that the beastly dog should quickly home be sent.

But when that evening our Lord Dent beheld with great surprise

That a less blooded terrier had won the noble prize,

He felt so very angry that he wished to beat Pup Kent,

And ordered that the beastly dog should quickly home be sent.

But while poor Kent was going home so sad and in disgrace,He got away from Higgens and he found another placeFar, far away from kennels of the great and wealthy Dent,Near to a peaceful village, the runaway he went.

But while poor Kent was going home so sad and in disgrace,

He got away from Higgens and he found another place

Far, far away from kennels of the great and wealthy Dent,

Near to a peaceful village, the runaway he went.

Here he lay down so tired and thought of many a bone,Which now was being gnawed each day by his good ma alone,Since Kent, her darling puppy boy, was, oh, so far away,Oh, how he wished to gnaw a bone with his good ma this day!

Here he lay down so tired and thought of many a bone,

Which now was being gnawed each day by his good ma alone,

Since Kent, her darling puppy boy, was, oh, so far away,

Oh, how he wished to gnaw a bone with his good ma this day!

But as he lay a-dreaming of lovely things to eat,Quite suddenly a large gray rat ran right across his feet,And after it there followed an Irishman named Pat,Who sought to make a timely end of bad old Mister Rat.

But as he lay a-dreaming of lovely things to eat,

Quite suddenly a large gray rat ran right across his feet,

And after it there followed an Irishman named Pat,

Who sought to make a timely end of bad old Mister Rat.

Big Pat was armed with a huge club and called to his old dog,"Now, come along, ye lazy baste, before he's in the bog!"Then Kent he jumped and in one bound he seized poor Mister Rat,Shook him about till he was dead and then brought him to Pat.

Big Pat was armed with a huge club and called to his old dog,

"Now, come along, ye lazy baste, before he's in the bog!"

Then Kent he jumped and in one bound he seized poor Mister Rat,

Shook him about till he was dead and then brought him to Pat.

Big Pat he gazed in wonder at the clever little dog,And sitting down upon a large and green, moss covered log,Said, "Shure, ye bate this lazy hound that kennot catch a rat,And if ye'll stay right here, me boy, I'll trate ye well," says Pat.

Big Pat he gazed in wonder at the clever little dog,

And sitting down upon a large and green, moss covered log,

Said, "Shure, ye bate this lazy hound that kennot catch a rat,

And if ye'll stay right here, me boy, I'll trate ye well," says Pat.

Then proudly Kent he wagged his tail and tried so hard to smileUpon the good old Irishman, who patted him a while,Then coaxed the stranger after him right through a broad green lane,Which led to the fine country home of good Sir Michael Kane.

Then proudly Kent he wagged his tail and tried so hard to smile

Upon the good old Irishman, who patted him a while,

Then coaxed the stranger after him right through a broad green lane,

Which led to the fine country home of good Sir Michael Kane.

And here Pat introduced the pup to all the family,And they were all so very kind as any folks could be.They patted his soft silky hair and praised him to the sky,And gave him a big gravy dish all filled with nice meat pie,And likewise a huge saucer, which was full of real sweet cream,Which made the hungry doggie think that he was in a dream.

And here Pat introduced the pup to all the family,

And they were all so very kind as any folks could be.

They patted his soft silky hair and praised him to the sky,

And gave him a big gravy dish all filled with nice meat pie,

And likewise a huge saucer, which was full of real sweet cream,

Which made the hungry doggie think that he was in a dream.

So here Dog Kent decided was the best place for to dwell,And here he still is living and is feeling' very well.He goes each morning to the barn and helps his good friend PatTo catch the naughty rodents, who are called the name of RAT.

So here Dog Kent decided was the best place for to dwell,

And here he still is living and is feeling' very well.

He goes each morning to the barn and helps his good friend Pat

To catch the naughty rodents, who are called the name of RAT.

The cook she feeds him daily, and he captures all the mice,Which love to haunt the kitchen of the cleanly Bridget Bryce.While little Mikey loves dear Kent far more than all his toys,And says that he'd rather play with him than any girls or boys,Because he never minds a bit to jump right in the pondAnd bring to land a stick or stone or weeping willow wand.

The cook she feeds him daily, and he captures all the mice,

Which love to haunt the kitchen of the cleanly Bridget Bryce.

While little Mikey loves dear Kent far more than all his toys,

And says that he'd rather play with him than any girls or boys,

Because he never minds a bit to jump right in the pond

And bring to land a stick or stone or weeping willow wand.

He always acts politely to all who may come near,And so all strangers pet him and think he is a dear.They like his soft and silky hair, which proves he has good blood,And never does he make folks mad by tracking floors with mud.

He always acts politely to all who may come near,

And so all strangers pet him and think he is a dear.

They like his soft and silky hair, which proves he has good blood,

And never does he make folks mad by tracking floors with mud.

He's wiser than most common dogs, whose hair is rough and coarse,His bark is always pleasant, and 'tis never loud nor hoarse;He's swifter also than slow dogs who cannot catch a rat,Because they always eat too much and get so very fat.

He's wiser than most common dogs, whose hair is rough and coarse,

His bark is always pleasant, and 'tis never loud nor hoarse;

He's swifter also than slow dogs who cannot catch a rat,

Because they always eat too much and get so very fat.

Moral:

This story proves that good, pure blood is a fine thing to own,But it can't help the puppies or the children all alone,Unless these youthful puppies and the children, very small,Learn to keep quite busy and to have a smile for all.

This story proves that good, pure blood is a fine thing to own,

But it can't help the puppies or the children all alone,

Unless these youthful puppies and the children, very small,

Learn to keep quite busy and to have a smile for all.

A KITTEN GONE TO WASTE

When little Mary Alice was only three years old,She went upon a visit to Aunt Maria Hold,A lady who was noted for saving everything,From gold and silver dollars down to a turkey wing.She soon taught Mary Alice to never throw awayA single bit of anything which might be used "some day,"And Alice, who was clever, soon learned to put awayAll bits of ribbon, cloth and lace, and chicken feathers gay.Each day she kept quite busy hunting something moreWhich she could take to Auntie or add to her own store;And one day in excitement, she ran in great haste,Crying, "Oh, dear Auntie, sumfin's don to waste!A perfectlee dood kitty is thrown out on the dumpOf the kitchen ash-pile, behind the garden pump."

When little Mary Alice was only three years old,She went upon a visit to Aunt Maria Hold,A lady who was noted for saving everything,From gold and silver dollars down to a turkey wing.

When little Mary Alice was only three years old,

She went upon a visit to Aunt Maria Hold,

A lady who was noted for saving everything,

From gold and silver dollars down to a turkey wing.

She soon taught Mary Alice to never throw awayA single bit of anything which might be used "some day,"And Alice, who was clever, soon learned to put awayAll bits of ribbon, cloth and lace, and chicken feathers gay.

She soon taught Mary Alice to never throw away

A single bit of anything which might be used "some day,"

And Alice, who was clever, soon learned to put away

All bits of ribbon, cloth and lace, and chicken feathers gay.

Each day she kept quite busy hunting something moreWhich she could take to Auntie or add to her own store;And one day in excitement, she ran in great haste,Crying, "Oh, dear Auntie, sumfin's don to waste!A perfectlee dood kitty is thrown out on the dumpOf the kitchen ash-pile, behind the garden pump."

Each day she kept quite busy hunting something more

Which she could take to Auntie or add to her own store;

And one day in excitement, she ran in great haste,

Crying, "Oh, dear Auntie, sumfin's don to waste!

A perfectlee dood kitty is thrown out on the dump

Of the kitchen ash-pile, behind the garden pump."

PRIDE

The Bible says that pride's the cause of people falling down,And an example of this truth I once saw in our town,When we were driving on the street and watching passers-by.From out a store stepped a fine dude, all dressed in silk hat high,And pants so tight he could not take a single manly stride,His mustache curled, and round his neck a ribbon pink and wide,While in his hand a gold-head cane, which he twirled round and round,So that the people all would know a great man was in town;But, being filled with pride of self, he did not know his heelHad come in contact with a part of a banana peelUntil it felled him to the earth and smashed his silk hat's crown,And even then he did not know 'twas PRIDE that knocked him down.

The Bible says that pride's the cause of people falling down,

And an example of this truth I once saw in our town,

When we were driving on the street and watching passers-by.

From out a store stepped a fine dude, all dressed in silk hat high,

And pants so tight he could not take a single manly stride,

His mustache curled, and round his neck a ribbon pink and wide,

While in his hand a gold-head cane, which he twirled round and round,

So that the people all would know a great man was in town;

But, being filled with pride of self, he did not know his heel

Had come in contact with a part of a banana peel

Until it felled him to the earth and smashed his silk hat's crown,

And even then he did not know 'twas PRIDE that knocked him down.

JOB SMARTER THAN MODERN BABIES

"Mother," said Lida, "why can't brother speak,Is he so stupid or only just weak,Like poor ancient Grandma, when she has a cold,And loses her voice so she can't even scold?""No, darling," said Mother, "your brother can't talk,Eat sugar candy, nor even yet walk,As he is a baby the size of your doll,And babies can't talk when they are so small.""Then, Mother," said Lida, "the kids nowadaysAre not half so smart in all of their waysAs babies who lived in the long, long ago,For dear teacher told me (so, course it is so),That Job in the Bible cursed the day he was born,I 'spose like big Tom, when he can't play his horn."

"Mother," said Lida, "why can't brother speak,Is he so stupid or only just weak,Like poor ancient Grandma, when she has a cold,And loses her voice so she can't even scold?"

"Mother," said Lida, "why can't brother speak,

Is he so stupid or only just weak,

Like poor ancient Grandma, when she has a cold,

And loses her voice so she can't even scold?"

"No, darling," said Mother, "your brother can't talk,Eat sugar candy, nor even yet walk,As he is a baby the size of your doll,And babies can't talk when they are so small."

"No, darling," said Mother, "your brother can't talk,

Eat sugar candy, nor even yet walk,

As he is a baby the size of your doll,

And babies can't talk when they are so small."

"Then, Mother," said Lida, "the kids nowadaysAre not half so smart in all of their waysAs babies who lived in the long, long ago,For dear teacher told me (so, course it is so),That Job in the Bible cursed the day he was born,I 'spose like big Tom, when he can't play his horn."

"Then, Mother," said Lida, "the kids nowadays

Are not half so smart in all of their ways

As babies who lived in the long, long ago,

For dear teacher told me (so, course it is so),

That Job in the Bible cursed the day he was born,

I 'spose like big Tom, when he can't play his horn."

THE NEW YEAR BABE

The "New Year Babe" is always hailed with shouts of greatest joy,Though no one seems to really know if it's a girl or boy.Good Mother Earth opes wide her arms and takes the baby inWhile big and little people help to raise an awful din.And just as soon as "New Year Babe" has made its grand début,Then all the folks make big resolves and say what they will doBefore the Baby Year has grown quite old and worn with time,When it must leave us while the bells for a new year will chime.But all resolves are very hard to always keep in mind,And somehow they get broken and the pieces we can't find;So that when "Baby New Year" grows hoary with old age,We're glad to turn a fresh new leaf and close our last year's page.

The "New Year Babe" is always hailed with shouts of greatest joy,

Though no one seems to really know if it's a girl or boy.

Good Mother Earth opes wide her arms and takes the baby in

While big and little people help to raise an awful din.

And just as soon as "New Year Babe" has made its grand début,Then all the folks make big resolves and say what they will doBefore the Baby Year has grown quite old and worn with time,When it must leave us while the bells for a new year will chime.

And just as soon as "New Year Babe" has made its grand début,

Then all the folks make big resolves and say what they will do

Before the Baby Year has grown quite old and worn with time,

When it must leave us while the bells for a new year will chime.

But all resolves are very hard to always keep in mind,And somehow they get broken and the pieces we can't find;So that when "Baby New Year" grows hoary with old age,We're glad to turn a fresh new leaf and close our last year's page.

But all resolves are very hard to always keep in mind,

And somehow they get broken and the pieces we can't find;

So that when "Baby New Year" grows hoary with old age,

We're glad to turn a fresh new leaf and close our last year's page.

NERVOUS JELLY

One day when there was company, wee greedy Lillie MayTook the jelly nearly all when it was passed her way;And in great haste she ate it up with her small silver spoon,But oh, alas, the Piggiewig! she was discovered soonBy Mother, who was greatly shocked to see her naughty elfEating like a greedy boy from off the kitchen shelf.But Mother couldn't scold aloud for fear the guests would hear,And so she softly whispered, "Don't eat that way, my dear."Then Mrs. Dean, the company, she patted Lillie's head,And smiling at the jellied face, she to the culprit said,"I've always liked the jelly good which makes my bread so sweet,And surely it tastes better still when with a spoon we eatThis lovely, wobbling dainty, which is loved by one and all,From little girls and tiny boys to great men, large and tall."This speech encouraged little May, who nodded her wise headAnd said, "Besides dis jelly is too nervous for to spread."

One day when there was company, wee greedy Lillie May

Took the jelly nearly all when it was passed her way;

And in great haste she ate it up with her small silver spoon,

But oh, alas, the Piggiewig! she was discovered soon

By Mother, who was greatly shocked to see her naughty elf

Eating like a greedy boy from off the kitchen shelf.

But Mother couldn't scold aloud for fear the guests would hear,

And so she softly whispered, "Don't eat that way, my dear."

Then Mrs. Dean, the company, she patted Lillie's head,

And smiling at the jellied face, she to the culprit said,

"I've always liked the jelly good which makes my bread so sweet,

And surely it tastes better still when with a spoon we eat

This lovely, wobbling dainty, which is loved by one and all,

From little girls and tiny boys to great men, large and tall."

This speech encouraged little May, who nodded her wise head

And said, "Besides dis jelly is too nervous for to spread."

A BOY WHO WAS HERO AND VILLAIN

One day in a big meeting held by a MERCY BAND,The leader asked each little boy to hold up his right handIf he could tell of any deed of kindness he had doneIn saving some poor animal or helping any one.Then Ernest held his hand on high and pride suffused his face,As from his seat he quickly rose and took the speaker's place,While speaking loud in accents clear, "I saved a little pupWho had his tail in a tin can all tied securely up.I took the can from off his tail and made him bark with joy.So Mother said and so said Dad—I was a darling boy.""And so say I," the leader said, while calling him her "DEAR,""But how I wish the wicked boy who did the deed were here."ERNEST:"Well, here he is, for I'm the boy who did that deed as well,So I could take the tin can off and of my goodness tell."

One day in a big meeting held by a MERCY BAND,

The leader asked each little boy to hold up his right hand

If he could tell of any deed of kindness he had done

In saving some poor animal or helping any one.

Then Ernest held his hand on high and pride suffused his face,

As from his seat he quickly rose and took the speaker's place,

While speaking loud in accents clear, "I saved a little pup

Who had his tail in a tin can all tied securely up.

I took the can from off his tail and made him bark with joy.

So Mother said and so said Dad—I was a darling boy."

"And so say I," the leader said, while calling him her "DEAR,""But how I wish the wicked boy who did the deed were here."

"And so say I," the leader said, while calling him her "DEAR,"

"But how I wish the wicked boy who did the deed were here."

ERNEST:

"Well, here he is, for I'm the boy who did that deed as well,So I could take the tin can off and of my goodness tell."

"Well, here he is, for I'm the boy who did that deed as well,

So I could take the tin can off and of my goodness tell."

AUTOS CHANGE GOOD LUCK

Poor Uncle Zeke, he's very sad, and says the whole world's wrong,For when he was a little boy it was a common song,To sing about the luck which came from finding a horseshoe,And in those good old lucky days the sign was always true.But Sunday when poor Uncle Zeke was walking on the street,He saw a lucky horseshoe which was lying at his feet,And as he stooped to seize the prize which lay before him there,Along an automobile came and whizzed him in the air.To-day I saw him lying still and pale upon his couch,And oh, my goodness gracious, but he had an awful grouch!His hands and arms in bandages were tied securely up,And on his forehead was a bump like Aunt Mariah's cup.He told me I should listen well and take his counsel sage,And never try to get good luck in this fierce auto age,By picking up a horse's shoe in street or country roadNo more than I would stoop to seize a common green back toad.

Poor Uncle Zeke, he's very sad, and says the whole world's wrong,

For when he was a little boy it was a common song,

To sing about the luck which came from finding a horseshoe,

And in those good old lucky days the sign was always true.

But Sunday when poor Uncle Zeke was walking on the street,He saw a lucky horseshoe which was lying at his feet,And as he stooped to seize the prize which lay before him there,Along an automobile came and whizzed him in the air.

But Sunday when poor Uncle Zeke was walking on the street,

He saw a lucky horseshoe which was lying at his feet,

And as he stooped to seize the prize which lay before him there,

Along an automobile came and whizzed him in the air.

To-day I saw him lying still and pale upon his couch,And oh, my goodness gracious, but he had an awful grouch!His hands and arms in bandages were tied securely up,And on his forehead was a bump like Aunt Mariah's cup.He told me I should listen well and take his counsel sage,And never try to get good luck in this fierce auto age,By picking up a horse's shoe in street or country roadNo more than I would stoop to seize a common green back toad.

To-day I saw him lying still and pale upon his couch,

And oh, my goodness gracious, but he had an awful grouch!

His hands and arms in bandages were tied securely up,

And on his forehead was a bump like Aunt Mariah's cup.

He told me I should listen well and take his counsel sage,

And never try to get good luck in this fierce auto age,

By picking up a horse's shoe in street or country road

No more than I would stoop to seize a common green back toad.

MY CHRISTMAS WISH

When gladly ring the Christmas chimes,Then come our reminiscent timesAnd even cold hearts—slow to beat—Feel something of the love thought heatThat emanates from one and allAnd to our far off loved ones call.Then YOU must feel all through and throughThe tingling of my thoughts of you.These are my messengers so trueWho bear this message, "I love you,And wish you on this Christmas dayA joyful heart that comes to stay,Not only for a day or two,But for your whole life's journey through."

When gladly ring the Christmas chimes,

Then come our reminiscent times

And even cold hearts—slow to beat—

Feel something of the love thought heat

That emanates from one and all

And to our far off loved ones call.

Then YOU must feel all through and through

The tingling of my thoughts of you.

These are my messengers so true

Who bear this message, "I love you,

And wish you on this Christmas day

A joyful heart that comes to stay,

Not only for a day or two,

But for your whole life's journey through."

A BOY'S DESCRIPTION OF A GOAT

When the teacher asked young Leo to write a little rhymeDescribing some strange animal he'd seen at any time,He seized his long slate pencil and this is what he wroteAbout the common animal, which children call a goat:A goat is stronger than a pig,But often it is not as big.It has four legs just like a horse,But never runs on a race-course.It gives good milk, though not as muchAs cows and elephants and such,But more than any bull or ox,Rooster, ram, or sly old fox.Like any mule, a goat likes hayAnd all tin cans we throw away.He's useful and I'm fond of him,But some good folks have a strange whimTo hold their noses when he's near,And act as if they greatly fearTo touch his fur which has the smellOf something I know very well,The odor I'd know anywhere,It's like Dad's tonic for his hair.

When the teacher asked young Leo to write a little rhyme

Describing some strange animal he'd seen at any time,

He seized his long slate pencil and this is what he wrote

About the common animal, which children call a goat:

A goat is stronger than a pig,

But often it is not as big.

It has four legs just like a horse,

But never runs on a race-course.

It gives good milk, though not as much

As cows and elephants and such,

But more than any bull or ox,

Rooster, ram, or sly old fox.

Like any mule, a goat likes hay

And all tin cans we throw away.

He's useful and I'm fond of him,

But some good folks have a strange whim

To hold their noses when he's near,

And act as if they greatly fear

To touch his fur which has the smell

Of something I know very well,

The odor I'd know anywhere,

It's like Dad's tonic for his hair.

AUTUMN, QUEEN OF YEAR

When the pumpkins are so yellowAnd the vines with grapes abound,When the melons are so mellowAnd the nuts fall to the ground;When persimmons lose their bitters,And the apples are so red;When we love to eat corn frittersSince the roasting ears have fled;When vacation days are overAnd the children go to school,They no longer play in clover,But must learn "Arithmos-rule,"When weird Hallowe'en's most naughty elvesWith gnomes and sprites appear,While fat Thanksgiving fills the shelves—'Tis AUTUMN, QUEEN OF YEAR.

When the pumpkins are so yellow

And the vines with grapes abound,

When the melons are so mellow

And the nuts fall to the ground;

When persimmons lose their bitters,

And the apples are so red;

When we love to eat corn fritters

Since the roasting ears have fled;

When vacation days are over

And the children go to school,

They no longer play in clover,

But must learn "Arithmos-rule,"

When weird Hallowe'en's most naughty elves

With gnomes and sprites appear,

While fat Thanksgiving fills the shelves—

'Tis AUTUMN, QUEEN OF YEAR.

THE TERSEST BATHING SUIT

When to the sea shore Robert went, with Ma and Sister Nell,He met a wise professor, who soon taught him to spell,Likewise to read of fairy lore and use a real steel penTo write to his own father dear, who like most all the menMust ever stay at home and work to earn the cents to payFor wife and children's outing till the summer slips away.Now all the strange, uncommon words which little Bob could find,He stored away and tried to keep in his small, active mindSo as to use in writing notes to his dear fat old Dad,And when the big folks used strange words it made him very glad.So one day when of something TERSE he heard his sister tell,He asked her for its meaning and he thus rewarded NellBy writing to his father dear, "Oh, Daddy, you should seeNell's awful TERSEST bathing suit, which won't reach to her knee."

When to the sea shore Robert went, with Ma and Sister Nell,

He met a wise professor, who soon taught him to spell,

Likewise to read of fairy lore and use a real steel pen

To write to his own father dear, who like most all the men

Must ever stay at home and work to earn the cents to pay

For wife and children's outing till the summer slips away.

Now all the strange, uncommon words which little Bob could find,He stored away and tried to keep in his small, active mindSo as to use in writing notes to his dear fat old Dad,And when the big folks used strange words it made him very glad.So one day when of something TERSE he heard his sister tell,He asked her for its meaning and he thus rewarded NellBy writing to his father dear, "Oh, Daddy, you should seeNell's awful TERSEST bathing suit, which won't reach to her knee."

Now all the strange, uncommon words which little Bob could find,

He stored away and tried to keep in his small, active mind

So as to use in writing notes to his dear fat old Dad,

And when the big folks used strange words it made him very glad.

So one day when of something TERSE he heard his sister tell,

He asked her for its meaning and he thus rewarded Nell

By writing to his father dear, "Oh, Daddy, you should see

Nell's awful TERSEST bathing suit, which won't reach to her knee."

EASTER GREETING TO MY FRIEND

If you haven't any Easter clothes on Easter morn to wearThen don't you care.If the EASTER RABBIT passes by and leaves no gift behind,Then don't you mind.Just smile at every one you meet and do some kindly act,For it's a fact,By doing any kindly deed one's heart is filled with JOYWhich will destroyAll pain that one may suffer from ENVY'S cruel sting;So you can sing—"Fulfilled will be my wishes for gifts and raiment fair—Some day—somewhere."

If you haven't any Easter clothes on Easter morn to wear

Then don't you care.

If the EASTER RABBIT passes by and leaves no gift behind,

Then don't you mind.

Just smile at every one you meet and do some kindly act,

For it's a fact,

By doing any kindly deed one's heart is filled with JOY

Which will destroy

All pain that one may suffer from ENVY'S cruel sting;

So you can sing—

"Fulfilled will be my wishes for gifts and raiment fair—

Some day—somewhere."

TAKE THAT GUM FROM YOUR MOUTH AND PUT YOUR FEET RIGHT IN

Young Susie was quite noted for having great large feet,And for working both her jaws, this maid could not be beat.Her wad of gum she always bore with her unto the school,Though well she knew she might be spanked, for 'twas against the rule,But skillfully she hid this gum, did naughty little Sue.Though oft behind her little book she took a little chew,But once when she was building up a castle in the air,And thought she was a lady rich and most entrancing fair,While stretching out her legs and feet into the narrow aisleAnd thinking of sweet Bobby Jones, the maid began to smile.Then suddenly the teacher cried, above the school room's din,"Take that gum from out your mouth and put your feet right in."

Young Susie was quite noted for having great large feet,

And for working both her jaws, this maid could not be beat.

Her wad of gum she always bore with her unto the school,

Though well she knew she might be spanked, for 'twas against the rule,

But skillfully she hid this gum, did naughty little Sue.

Though oft behind her little book she took a little chew,

But once when she was building up a castle in the air,

And thought she was a lady rich and most entrancing fair,

While stretching out her legs and feet into the narrow aisle

And thinking of sweet Bobby Jones, the maid began to smile.

Then suddenly the teacher cried, above the school room's din,

"Take that gum from out your mouth and put your feet right in."

GOOD WEATHER ASSURED

When the second of February rolls around,Out of his hole in the cold, dark groundComes Mr. Groundhog to look at the skyAnd see if the season of summer is nigh;So that he in the fields may merrily runAnd eat farmers' crops 'neath the light o' the sun.But if his own shadow he unfortunately sees,In the greatest of terror he falls on his knees,And quickly returns to his subterra home,Resolving that he will not again roamTill six stormy weeks have slowly gone by,And then once again, perhaps he will tryTo put his flat head above the cold ground,And take a survey of the earth all around.So I made up my mind that during the yearI'd keep him at home so he couldn't appear.And to bring wintry weather he hadn't a chance,For of his own shadow he caught not a glance.

When the second of February rolls around,

Out of his hole in the cold, dark ground

Comes Mr. Groundhog to look at the sky

And see if the season of summer is nigh;

So that he in the fields may merrily run

And eat farmers' crops 'neath the light o' the sun.

But if his own shadow he unfortunately sees,

In the greatest of terror he falls on his knees,

And quickly returns to his subterra home,

Resolving that he will not again roam

Till six stormy weeks have slowly gone by,

And then once again, perhaps he will try

To put his flat head above the cold ground,

And take a survey of the earth all around.

So I made up my mind that during the year

I'd keep him at home so he couldn't appear.

And to bring wintry weather he hadn't a chance,

For of his own shadow he caught not a glance.

ALL THE WORLD CRIES

"Quack-quack-quack-quack!" cries Auntie Duck,While Mother Hen goes "Cluck-cluck-cluck!"And Papa Dog cries, "Bow-wow-wow,"And Sister Cat, "Me-ow, me-ow!""Eek-eek-eek-eek!" squeals Grandma Pig,"I'm growing, oh, so far and big;"While "Cackle-cackle" all the day,The little goslings like to say.Proud Grandpa Turkey struts alongWith his eternal gobble-song;Sir Horse he whinnies, "Hee-hee-hee!"And "Buzzey-buzzey" goes Miss Bee.Sis Maud, the Mule, cries, "Hee-hee-haw!"And Missy Crow goes "Caw-caw-caw!"Good Madam Cow cries, "Moo-moo-moo!"And gentle Doves they "Coo-coo-coo!"The Baby Lambs cry, "Baa-baa-baa!"And little Kids squeal, "Ma-ma-ma!"

"Quack-quack-quack-quack!" cries Auntie Duck,While Mother Hen goes "Cluck-cluck-cluck!"And Papa Dog cries, "Bow-wow-wow,"And Sister Cat, "Me-ow, me-ow!"

"Quack-quack-quack-quack!" cries Auntie Duck,

While Mother Hen goes "Cluck-cluck-cluck!"

And Papa Dog cries, "Bow-wow-wow,"

And Sister Cat, "Me-ow, me-ow!"

"Eek-eek-eek-eek!" squeals Grandma Pig,"I'm growing, oh, so far and big;"While "Cackle-cackle" all the day,The little goslings like to say.

"Eek-eek-eek-eek!" squeals Grandma Pig,

"I'm growing, oh, so far and big;"

While "Cackle-cackle" all the day,

The little goslings like to say.

Proud Grandpa Turkey struts alongWith his eternal gobble-song;Sir Horse he whinnies, "Hee-hee-hee!"And "Buzzey-buzzey" goes Miss Bee.

Proud Grandpa Turkey struts along

With his eternal gobble-song;

Sir Horse he whinnies, "Hee-hee-hee!"

And "Buzzey-buzzey" goes Miss Bee.

Sis Maud, the Mule, cries, "Hee-hee-haw!"And Missy Crow goes "Caw-caw-caw!"Good Madam Cow cries, "Moo-moo-moo!"And gentle Doves they "Coo-coo-coo!"The Baby Lambs cry, "Baa-baa-baa!"And little Kids squeal, "Ma-ma-ma!"

Sis Maud, the Mule, cries, "Hee-hee-haw!"

And Missy Crow goes "Caw-caw-caw!"

Good Madam Cow cries, "Moo-moo-moo!"

And gentle Doves they "Coo-coo-coo!"

The Baby Lambs cry, "Baa-baa-baa!"

And little Kids squeal, "Ma-ma-ma!"

HOPE

Hope is the name of the dear little sprite,Who banishes grief and makes life bright.Thanks to Pandora—'twas she shut the lidOf that wondrous jar where good Hope was hid,And kept him to cheer us when we are so sadFearing a scolding because we've been bad;Then this little whisper of Hope makes us say—"Maybe you won't get a scolding to-day."Likewise being tortured with measles and croupAnd that dread disease which makes us to whoop!Chicken pox, fevers and diptheric germs,And the worst of diseases just common plain worms,Which causes our "tum-tums" to feel mighty badAnd no doubt would make us most dreadfully sad,If 'twere not for HOPE which whispers to us—"Be patient, dear children, and don't make a fussBecause all the pain will soon pass awayAnd then you'll be healthy and happy all day."

Hope is the name of the dear little sprite,

Who banishes grief and makes life bright.

Thanks to Pandora—'twas she shut the lid

Of that wondrous jar where good Hope was hid,

And kept him to cheer us when we are so sad

Fearing a scolding because we've been bad;

Then this little whisper of Hope makes us say—

"Maybe you won't get a scolding to-day."

Likewise being tortured with measles and croupAnd that dread disease which makes us to whoop!Chicken pox, fevers and diptheric germs,And the worst of diseases just common plain worms,Which causes our "tum-tums" to feel mighty badAnd no doubt would make us most dreadfully sad,If 'twere not for HOPE which whispers to us—"Be patient, dear children, and don't make a fussBecause all the pain will soon pass awayAnd then you'll be healthy and happy all day."

Likewise being tortured with measles and croup

And that dread disease which makes us to whoop!

Chicken pox, fevers and diptheric germs,

And the worst of diseases just common plain worms,

Which causes our "tum-tums" to feel mighty bad

And no doubt would make us most dreadfully sad,

If 'twere not for HOPE which whispers to us—

"Be patient, dear children, and don't make a fuss

Because all the pain will soon pass away

And then you'll be healthy and happy all day."

THE YOUNG MAIL CARRIER

Young Billy from his lovely home disappeared one day,And when his mother missed her lad she thought he'd run away,But soon the sprightly little chap came quickly running back,Bearing on his shoulders small, a large round leather sack,And said, "Dear mother, I have been a very good, kind boy,Trying like the Bible says, to bring our neighbors joy.I played I was a postman and I paid each one a call,And to the people in this block, I gave them letters all."MOTHER:"But where, my precious little lad, my darling honey pet,Where in the name of goodness these letters did you get?"BILLY:"I found them with no trouble; they were the ones that youKept 'way up in your bureau drawer, all tied with ribbons blue."

Young Billy from his lovely home disappeared one day,

And when his mother missed her lad she thought he'd run away,

But soon the sprightly little chap came quickly running back,

Bearing on his shoulders small, a large round leather sack,

And said, "Dear mother, I have been a very good, kind boy,

Trying like the Bible says, to bring our neighbors joy.

I played I was a postman and I paid each one a call,

And to the people in this block, I gave them letters all."

MOTHER:

"But where, my precious little lad, my darling honey pet,Where in the name of goodness these letters did you get?"

"But where, my precious little lad, my darling honey pet,

Where in the name of goodness these letters did you get?"

BILLY:

"I found them with no trouble; they were the ones that youKept 'way up in your bureau drawer, all tied with ribbons blue."

"I found them with no trouble; they were the ones that you

Kept 'way up in your bureau drawer, all tied with ribbons blue."

A RIDDLE

One night 'neath the light of a silvery moonThere sat on a log pile a very fat coonAnd also a little most cunning brown fellowEating of melon so juicy and mellow.The large robust coon and the wee little oneThought they were having a bushel of fun,And laughed very loudly in notes of pure glee,For they were as happy as happy could be.So here is a riddle I'll give now to you,Guess the relation there was 'twixt the two.ANSWERMost everyone answers, "Why, father and son."Not so—'twas a mammy and her little one.

One night 'neath the light of a silvery moon

There sat on a log pile a very fat coon

And also a little most cunning brown fellow

Eating of melon so juicy and mellow.

The large robust coon and the wee little one

Thought they were having a bushel of fun,

And laughed very loudly in notes of pure glee,

For they were as happy as happy could be.

So here is a riddle I'll give now to you,Guess the relation there was 'twixt the two.

So here is a riddle I'll give now to you,

Guess the relation there was 'twixt the two.

ANSWER

Most everyone answers, "Why, father and son."Not so—'twas a mammy and her little one.

Most everyone answers, "Why, father and son."

Not so—'twas a mammy and her little one.

THE FIRST MATCH

In the days of great GrandmotherPeople often worked each otherWhen they sought a little lightAt the coming of the night,Or to bake their bread and meatAs fire making was a featQuite difficult and very slow.So oft without a light they'd goInstead of spending e'en an hourWith flint and steel exerting powerTo make a little fiery sparkWhich would produce light in the dark.But in eighteen twenty-sevenSome good man earned fame from HeavenBy inventing a real matchWhich one needed but to scratchOn its sulphur head so smallWhen forth came fire for us all.

In the days of great Grandmother

People often worked each other

When they sought a little light

At the coming of the night,

Or to bake their bread and meat

As fire making was a feat

Quite difficult and very slow.

So oft without a light they'd go

Instead of spending e'en an hour

With flint and steel exerting power

To make a little fiery spark

Which would produce light in the dark.

But in eighteen twenty-sevenSome good man earned fame from HeavenBy inventing a real matchWhich one needed but to scratchOn its sulphur head so smallWhen forth came fire for us all.

But in eighteen twenty-seven

Some good man earned fame from Heaven

By inventing a real match

Which one needed but to scratch

On its sulphur head so small

When forth came fire for us all.

THE NEW BABY

When Alfred saw the baby wee the stork to him had brought,He stood quite silent for a while and thought and thought and thoughtUntil he'd solved the problem about the CURIOUS ONEWho'd traveled far from Storkland, though she couldn't walk nor run.Then to his mother he declared in accents of dismay,"Dear Mother, we must send this kid back to her home to-day,'Cause someone's cheated us I know and brought us an old childWith bald head and without a tooth and like an Indian wild.Whenever it begins to cry it almost lifts the roof,So, Mother, dear, I think 'tis best for you to keep aloofFrom the old ugly Indian thing and send it to Storkland,Then you and I'll be glad again and go to hear the band."

When Alfred saw the baby wee the stork to him had brought,

He stood quite silent for a while and thought and thought and thought

Until he'd solved the problem about the CURIOUS ONE

Who'd traveled far from Storkland, though she couldn't walk nor run.

Then to his mother he declared in accents of dismay,

"Dear Mother, we must send this kid back to her home to-day,

'Cause someone's cheated us I know and brought us an old child

With bald head and without a tooth and like an Indian wild.

Whenever it begins to cry it almost lifts the roof,

So, Mother, dear, I think 'tis best for you to keep aloof

From the old ugly Indian thing and send it to Storkland,

Then you and I'll be glad again and go to hear the band."

GOOD-BYE TO TEDDY BEARS

Good-bye to all the Teddy Bears, both big and small!The "Billy Possums" are in style for one and all.We little girls, like older folks, are bound to keep in style,And so we have to change our toys 'most every little while.When Roosevelt or "Teddy," was ruler o'er this land,All stylish girls and clever boys kept bears on handTo play with and to walk with and to put to bed at night,As "Teddy Bears" were symbols of the Rooseveltian light.But when King Teddy left his throne, Taft got his seat,And soft brown Teddies disappeared from home and street,While "Billy Possum" came to rule for two years or for three,When "Bryan Kittens" will be hatched and all the rage will be.

Good-bye to all the Teddy Bears, both big and small!

The "Billy Possums" are in style for one and all.

We little girls, like older folks, are bound to keep in style,

And so we have to change our toys 'most every little while.

When Roosevelt or "Teddy," was ruler o'er this land,All stylish girls and clever boys kept bears on handTo play with and to walk with and to put to bed at night,As "Teddy Bears" were symbols of the Rooseveltian light.

When Roosevelt or "Teddy," was ruler o'er this land,

All stylish girls and clever boys kept bears on hand

To play with and to walk with and to put to bed at night,

As "Teddy Bears" were symbols of the Rooseveltian light.

But when King Teddy left his throne, Taft got his seat,And soft brown Teddies disappeared from home and street,While "Billy Possum" came to rule for two years or for three,When "Bryan Kittens" will be hatched and all the rage will be.

But when King Teddy left his throne, Taft got his seat,

And soft brown Teddies disappeared from home and street,

While "Billy Possum" came to rule for two years or for three,

When "Bryan Kittens" will be hatched and all the rage will be.

SLEEPERS IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY

Within Westminster Abbey, which stands on Thorney IsleAre burled many people of every age and style.There's Edward the Confessor, who founded this great churchAnd Henry Third who sent his men to Italy to searchFor beautiful mosaics which brilliantly would shineAll round about and high above the great Confessor's shrine.Here great Shaftesbury's buried, who worked to his life's endFor poor down trodden children whose rights he did defend.Sir Isaac Newton, very wise, who thought he was a childPicking up the sea-shells beside life's ocean wild.And noble Sir James Outram known as a man most brave,Who at the siege of Lucknow the English corps did save.Great Livingstone of world-wide fame who Africa exploredAnd whose sad death in Afric wilds by all men was deplored;The blind postmaster Fawcett who tried so hard to mendAll foolish laws of England and English rights defend.A monument we here may see to Sir John Franklin boldWho lost his life while he explored in far off Arcticcold.Within the poet's corner full many a grave is found,Behold good Geoffrey Chaucer as Father Poet crowned,And great and good Lord Tennyson whose "CROSSING OF THE BAR"It seems to me in Heaven above should win a shining star.Will Shagspur's monument is here, where he is called the chiefOf all the greatest writers known, though I call him a thiefBecause I think he stole his rhymes from many learned menAnd then pretended all were writ just by his goose quill pen.Great Handel the musician, born in a German townBut who in merry England won all his great renown;The orator George Canning, a statesman good and greatAnd with whose son, Earl Canning, he lies in regal state.Here's Gladstone, greatest statesman perhaps the world has knownWho's buried in this abbey 'neath monumental stone.Great Wilberforce and two great Pitts who likewise won their fameWithin this ancient abbey we see each brilliant name.And many kings both good and bad and with their royal wivesWere brought to this old abbey when they had spent their lives.Strong Edward First, the warrior who brought the "Stone of Scone"And placed it in the abbey to crown the KINGS alone.Then Richard Second who is known as "The Westminster King"So called as in the abbey he did most everything;For he was crowned and married and also buried here—No wonder that the abbey stones to him were very dear.To "Madcap Harry," Henry Fifth, Westminster was his prideSo he was buried 'neath its walls—though in far France he died.King Henry Seventh and his wife Elizabeth the kind,Close, side by side, their royal tombs we easily may find.Queen Mary called "The Bloody," with Bess "The Virgin Queen,"Beside Queen Mary of the Scots, their tombs may now be seen.It was at Mary's funeral when she was lying deadThat in the abbey Catholic mass for a last time was said.King Henry Fifth the murdered King and Edward Sixth the boy,Who while he lived no sorrow gave but brought to England joy,And many other kings and queens and men of wondrous fameBoth good and bad their bodies lie in restful sleep the same.

Within Westminster Abbey, which stands on Thorney Isle

Are burled many people of every age and style.

There's Edward the Confessor, who founded this great church

And Henry Third who sent his men to Italy to search

For beautiful mosaics which brilliantly would shine

All round about and high above the great Confessor's shrine.

Here great Shaftesbury's buried, who worked to his life's end

For poor down trodden children whose rights he did defend.

Sir Isaac Newton, very wise, who thought he was a child

Picking up the sea-shells beside life's ocean wild.

And noble Sir James Outram known as a man most brave,

Who at the siege of Lucknow the English corps did save.

Great Livingstone of world-wide fame who Africa exploredAnd whose sad death in Afric wilds by all men was deplored;The blind postmaster Fawcett who tried so hard to mendAll foolish laws of England and English rights defend.A monument we here may see to Sir John Franklin boldWho lost his life while he explored in far off Arcticcold.

Great Livingstone of world-wide fame who Africa explored

And whose sad death in Afric wilds by all men was deplored;

The blind postmaster Fawcett who tried so hard to mend

All foolish laws of England and English rights defend.

A monument we here may see to Sir John Franklin bold

Who lost his life while he explored in far off Arctic

cold.

Within the poet's corner full many a grave is found,Behold good Geoffrey Chaucer as Father Poet crowned,And great and good Lord Tennyson whose "CROSSING OF THE BAR"It seems to me in Heaven above should win a shining star.Will Shagspur's monument is here, where he is called the chiefOf all the greatest writers known, though I call him a thiefBecause I think he stole his rhymes from many learned menAnd then pretended all were writ just by his goose quill pen.

Within the poet's corner full many a grave is found,

Behold good Geoffrey Chaucer as Father Poet crowned,

And great and good Lord Tennyson whose "CROSSING OF THE BAR"

It seems to me in Heaven above should win a shining star.

Will Shagspur's monument is here, where he is called the chief

Of all the greatest writers known, though I call him a thief

Because I think he stole his rhymes from many learned men

And then pretended all were writ just by his goose quill pen.

Great Handel the musician, born in a German townBut who in merry England won all his great renown;The orator George Canning, a statesman good and greatAnd with whose son, Earl Canning, he lies in regal state.Here's Gladstone, greatest statesman perhaps the world has knownWho's buried in this abbey 'neath monumental stone.Great Wilberforce and two great Pitts who likewise won their fameWithin this ancient abbey we see each brilliant name.

Great Handel the musician, born in a German town

But who in merry England won all his great renown;

The orator George Canning, a statesman good and great

And with whose son, Earl Canning, he lies in regal state.

Here's Gladstone, greatest statesman perhaps the world has known

Who's buried in this abbey 'neath monumental stone.

Great Wilberforce and two great Pitts who likewise won their fame

Within this ancient abbey we see each brilliant name.

And many kings both good and bad and with their royal wivesWere brought to this old abbey when they had spent their lives.Strong Edward First, the warrior who brought the "Stone of Scone"And placed it in the abbey to crown the KINGS alone.Then Richard Second who is known as "The Westminster King"So called as in the abbey he did most everything;For he was crowned and married and also buried here—No wonder that the abbey stones to him were very dear.

And many kings both good and bad and with their royal wives

Were brought to this old abbey when they had spent their lives.

Strong Edward First, the warrior who brought the "Stone of Scone"

And placed it in the abbey to crown the KINGS alone.

Then Richard Second who is known as "The Westminster King"

So called as in the abbey he did most everything;

For he was crowned and married and also buried here—

No wonder that the abbey stones to him were very dear.

To "Madcap Harry," Henry Fifth, Westminster was his prideSo he was buried 'neath its walls—though in far France he died.King Henry Seventh and his wife Elizabeth the kind,Close, side by side, their royal tombs we easily may find.Queen Mary called "The Bloody," with Bess "The Virgin Queen,"Beside Queen Mary of the Scots, their tombs may now be seen.It was at Mary's funeral when she was lying deadThat in the abbey Catholic mass for a last time was said.King Henry Fifth the murdered King and Edward Sixth the boy,Who while he lived no sorrow gave but brought to England joy,And many other kings and queens and men of wondrous fameBoth good and bad their bodies lie in restful sleep the same.

To "Madcap Harry," Henry Fifth, Westminster was his pride

So he was buried 'neath its walls—though in far France he died.

King Henry Seventh and his wife Elizabeth the kind,

Close, side by side, their royal tombs we easily may find.

Queen Mary called "The Bloody," with Bess "The Virgin Queen,"

Beside Queen Mary of the Scots, their tombs may now be seen.

It was at Mary's funeral when she was lying dead

That in the abbey Catholic mass for a last time was said.

King Henry Fifth the murdered King and Edward Sixth the boy,

Who while he lived no sorrow gave but brought to England joy,

And many other kings and queens and men of wondrous fame

Both good and bad their bodies lie in restful sleep the same.

LAZY WHITE MEN SIT WHILE FLYING THROUGH THE AIR

Poor Lo, the Indian, disrespects his brothers wise and fair,Who now on aeroplanes are wont to make trips through the air.He watches them go circling like birds up in the skies,Then grunts, "Heap lazy white man, he sits down when he flies."

Poor Lo, the Indian, disrespects his brothers wise and fair,

Who now on aeroplanes are wont to make trips through the air.

He watches them go circling like birds up in the skies,

Then grunts, "Heap lazy white man, he sits down when he flies."

TOO TICKLISH TO COUNT HIS RIBS

In the class of physiology the teacher asked one day,"How many ribs have you, my boy, tell me, Dickie Gray?"And wiggling, giggling Dickie very promptly made reply,"Dear teacher, I must tell the truth, for I could never lie,But as for ribs I cannot say how many I possess,For I'm too awful ticklish to count them, I confess."

In the class of physiology the teacher asked one day,

"How many ribs have you, my boy, tell me, Dickie Gray?"

And wiggling, giggling Dickie very promptly made reply,

"Dear teacher, I must tell the truth, for I could never lie,

But as for ribs I cannot say how many I possess,

For I'm too awful ticklish to count them, I confess."

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