CHARLES HEBER CLARK.

On the eastern shore of Maryland is situated a town known to the post-office authorities as Berlin. It was in Berlin in the warm month of July, 1841, that Charles Heber Clark, “Max Adeler,” first saw the light of day.

His father was a clergyman in the Episcopal church, but this appeared to have little effect on Charles, who, like all bad boys, grew up to make fun of everybody and everything. He was sent to Georgetown, District of Columbia, early in life, being shipped by express and labeled “handle with care.” He attended school for a brief period, learning but little, and jumped into the mercantile world by moving his linen to Philadelphia.

The mercantile business appeared to agree with his constitution until 1865, when he bethought himself that he had been sent into this wicked world for the express purpose of becoming a journalist. He subsequently began his editorial career on the Philadelphia Enquirer during thatsame year. Clark made rapid advancement in journalism, and in 1867 became one of the editors of the Evening Bulletin, of which paper he is at present one of the proprietors.

It was soon after Clark entered upon his editorial duties at the Bulletin office that the droll humor of his pen began to attract general attention. His most amusing articles were written in the intervals of his private life, and the more serious daily newspaper work to which he devoted himself. He is not, and never was, a paragrapher, but has thrown out to the world his droll and grotesque humor in the form of narratives. His fun is of the most rollicking kind, and ranks him along with Mark Twain and Artemus Ward. Three volumes of humor have appeared from his pen.

His best known books are Out of the Hurly Burly, and Elbow Room. These works appeared several years ago simultaneously in this country and in England. The sales were large, and over five thousand copies of Elbow Room were sold in London within a month after its publication. Both books have been issued in Canada, where the piratical publishers sold them by the thousand.

His latest work, issued quite early in 1882, entitled The Fortunate Island and Other Stories, is meeting with a wide sale. It is destined to become very popular. Mr. Clark is fond of hishome and family. His residence is located in a remote but beautiful suburb of Philadelphia, where he hopes to live to a ripe old age. Mr. Clark is an excellent musician, and for a number of years he acted in the capacity of organist for one of the Quaker City churches.

Besides his book-making Mr. Clark still retains a firm hold on journalism. He takes a leading interest in his paper, the Bulletin, and writes the dramatic criticisms and a portion of the editorials. He also edits the humorous department of Our Continent, a well-known literary weekly, published in Philadelphia.

As a writer and composer of obituary verse Max Adeler has probably no equal, unless it be another, older, and more prominent Philadelphia journalist—Childs, of the Ledger. The following rare exotics are selected from Out of the Hurly Burly:

“Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith—They blistered and they bled him;With squills and anti-bilious pillsAnd ipecac they fed him.“They stirred him up with calomelAnd tried to move his liver;But all in vain—his little soulWas wafted o’er the river.”

“Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith—They blistered and they bled him;With squills and anti-bilious pillsAnd ipecac they fed him.

“Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith—

They blistered and they bled him;

With squills and anti-bilious pills

And ipecac they fed him.

“They stirred him up with calomelAnd tried to move his liver;But all in vain—his little soulWas wafted o’er the river.”

“They stirred him up with calomel

And tried to move his liver;

But all in vain—his little soul

Was wafted o’er the river.”

Of another little youngster, just departed, Max warbles:

“Little Alexander’s dead;Jam him in a coffin;Don’t have as good a chanceFor a funeral often.“Rush his body right aroundTo the cemetery,Drop him in the sepulchreWith his uncle Jerry.”

“Little Alexander’s dead;Jam him in a coffin;Don’t have as good a chanceFor a funeral often.

“Little Alexander’s dead;

Jam him in a coffin;

Don’t have as good a chance

For a funeral often.

“Rush his body right aroundTo the cemetery,Drop him in the sepulchreWith his uncle Jerry.”

“Rush his body right around

To the cemetery,

Drop him in the sepulchre

With his uncle Jerry.”

In another instance, Adeler gets off the following horrible concoction:

“O! bury Bartholomew out in the woods,In a beautiful hole in the ground,Where the bumble-bees buzz and the woodpeckers sing,And the straddle-bugs tumble around;So that in winter, when the snow and the slushHave covered his last little bed,His brother Artemas can go out with JaneAnd visit the place with his sled.”

“O! bury Bartholomew out in the woods,

In a beautiful hole in the ground,

Where the bumble-bees buzz and the woodpeckers sing,

And the straddle-bugs tumble around;

So that in winter, when the snow and the slush

Have covered his last little bed,

His brother Artemas can go out with Jane

And visit the place with his sled.”

Then, I am pleased to give another choice selection from Clark’s wonderful storehouse:

“The death angel smote Alexander McGlue,And gave him protracted repose;He wore a checked shirt and number nine shoe,And he had a pink wart on his nose.“No doubt he is happier dwelling in spaceOver there on the evergreen shore.His friends are informed that his funeral takes placePrecisely at quarter past four.”

“The death angel smote Alexander McGlue,And gave him protracted repose;He wore a checked shirt and number nine shoe,And he had a pink wart on his nose.

“The death angel smote Alexander McGlue,

And gave him protracted repose;

He wore a checked shirt and number nine shoe,

And he had a pink wart on his nose.

“No doubt he is happier dwelling in spaceOver there on the evergreen shore.His friends are informed that his funeral takes placePrecisely at quarter past four.”

“No doubt he is happier dwelling in space

Over there on the evergreen shore.

His friends are informed that his funeral takes place

Precisely at quarter past four.”

The same volume contains an admirable bit of drollery in the following take-off on art criticism:

ART NEWS.We have received from the eminent sculptor, Mr. Felix Mullins, of Wilmington, a comicbasrelief, designed for an ornamental fireboard. It represents an Irishman in his night-shirt running away with the little god Cupid, while the Irishman’s sweetheart demurely hangs her head in the corner. Every true work of art tells its own story; and we understand, as soon as we glance at this, that our Irish friend has been coquetted with by the fair one, and is pretending to transfer his love to other quarters. There is a lurking smile on the Irishman’s lips, which expresses his mischievous intentions perfectly. We think it would have been better to have clothed him in something else than a night-shirt, and to have smoothed down his hair. We have placed thischef d’œuvreupon a shelf in our office, where it will undoubtedly be admired by our friends when they call. We are glad to encourage such progress in Delaware art.

ART NEWS.

We have received from the eminent sculptor, Mr. Felix Mullins, of Wilmington, a comicbasrelief, designed for an ornamental fireboard. It represents an Irishman in his night-shirt running away with the little god Cupid, while the Irishman’s sweetheart demurely hangs her head in the corner. Every true work of art tells its own story; and we understand, as soon as we glance at this, that our Irish friend has been coquetted with by the fair one, and is pretending to transfer his love to other quarters. There is a lurking smile on the Irishman’s lips, which expresses his mischievous intentions perfectly. We think it would have been better to have clothed him in something else than a night-shirt, and to have smoothed down his hair. We have placed thischef d’œuvreupon a shelf in our office, where it will undoubtedly be admired by our friends when they call. We are glad to encourage such progress in Delaware art.

Adeler has given the public an admirable satire in his

IMPROVED CONGRESSIONAL RECORD.If Congress resolve to act upon the suggestion of Senator Miller that the Congressional Record be issued as a weekly and sent to every family in the country, some modification ought to be made in the contents of the Record. The paper is much too heavy and dismal in its presentcondition to be welcomed in the ordinary American household. Perhaps it might have a puzzle department, and if so one of the first puzzles could take the shape of an inquiry how it happens that so many Congressmen get rich on a salary of five thousand a year. The department of answers to correspondents could be enriched with references to letters from office seekers, and the department of Household Economy could contain explanations of how the members frank their shirts home through the post-office so as to get them in the family wash. As for the general contents, describing the business proceedings in the Senate and the House, we recommend that these should be put in the form of verse. We should treat them, say, something in this fashion:Mr. HillIntroduced a billTo give John Smith a pension;Mr. BayardTalked himself tired,But said nothing worthy of mention.This would be succinct, musical, and a degree impressive. The youngest reader could grasp the meaning of it, and it could be easily committed to memory. Or a scene in the House might be depicted in such terms as these:A very able speech was made by Cox, of Minnesota,Respecting the necessity of protecting the black voter,’Twas indignantly responded to by Smith, of Alabama,Whose abominable talk was silenced by the Speaker’s hammer.Then Atkinson, of Kansas, rose to make an explanation,But was pulled down by a colleague in a state of indignation.And Mr. Alexander, in a speech about insurance,Taxed the patience of his hearers pretty nearly past endurance,After which Judge Whittaker denounced the reciprocityTreaty with Hawaii as a scandalous monstrosity.*****Of course versification of the Congressional Record would require the services of a poet laureate of rather unusual powers. If Congress shall accept seriously the suggestions which we make with an earnest desire to promote the public interest, we shall venture to recommend the selection of the Sweet Singer of Michigan as the first occupant of the laureate’s office.”

IMPROVED CONGRESSIONAL RECORD.

If Congress resolve to act upon the suggestion of Senator Miller that the Congressional Record be issued as a weekly and sent to every family in the country, some modification ought to be made in the contents of the Record. The paper is much too heavy and dismal in its presentcondition to be welcomed in the ordinary American household. Perhaps it might have a puzzle department, and if so one of the first puzzles could take the shape of an inquiry how it happens that so many Congressmen get rich on a salary of five thousand a year. The department of answers to correspondents could be enriched with references to letters from office seekers, and the department of Household Economy could contain explanations of how the members frank their shirts home through the post-office so as to get them in the family wash. As for the general contents, describing the business proceedings in the Senate and the House, we recommend that these should be put in the form of verse. We should treat them, say, something in this fashion:

Mr. HillIntroduced a billTo give John Smith a pension;Mr. BayardTalked himself tired,But said nothing worthy of mention.

Mr. Hill

Introduced a bill

To give John Smith a pension;

Mr. Bayard

Talked himself tired,

But said nothing worthy of mention.

This would be succinct, musical, and a degree impressive. The youngest reader could grasp the meaning of it, and it could be easily committed to memory. Or a scene in the House might be depicted in such terms as these:

A very able speech was made by Cox, of Minnesota,Respecting the necessity of protecting the black voter,’Twas indignantly responded to by Smith, of Alabama,Whose abominable talk was silenced by the Speaker’s hammer.Then Atkinson, of Kansas, rose to make an explanation,But was pulled down by a colleague in a state of indignation.And Mr. Alexander, in a speech about insurance,Taxed the patience of his hearers pretty nearly past endurance,After which Judge Whittaker denounced the reciprocityTreaty with Hawaii as a scandalous monstrosity.

A very able speech was made by Cox, of Minnesota,

Respecting the necessity of protecting the black voter,

’Twas indignantly responded to by Smith, of Alabama,

Whose abominable talk was silenced by the Speaker’s hammer.

Then Atkinson, of Kansas, rose to make an explanation,

But was pulled down by a colleague in a state of indignation.

And Mr. Alexander, in a speech about insurance,

Taxed the patience of his hearers pretty nearly past endurance,

After which Judge Whittaker denounced the reciprocity

Treaty with Hawaii as a scandalous monstrosity.

*****

Of course versification of the Congressional Record would require the services of a poet laureate of rather unusual powers. If Congress shall accept seriously the suggestions which we make with an earnest desire to promote the public interest, we shall venture to recommend the selection of the Sweet Singer of Michigan as the first occupant of the laureate’s office.”

Back to Index Next