35. Let your bearing be that of a moderately grave, serious man, and attentive to what is said so as to avoid having to say every moment:'How did that happen? I did not understand you,'—and other similar foolish remarks.
33. Do not continually contradict what others say, by disputing and saying: 'That is not the case, it is as I say;' but defer to the opinion of others, especially in matters of small consequence.
88th. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse
Do not take a year in your preface, or in certain long apologies or ceremonies, such as: 'Pardon me Sir if I do not know how to express myself sufficiently well, &.c.;nevertheless in order to obey you,' &c., and other similarly tedious and stupid circumlocutions; but enter promptly on the subject, as far as possible, with moderate boldness; then continue to the end without hesitation. Do not be prolix; avoid digressions; do not often reiterate the same expression.
89th. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust
Hawkins vi. 40. Speak not evill of one absent, for it is unjust to detract from the worth of any, or besmeare a good name by condemning, where the party is not present, to clear himselfe, or undergo a rationall conviction.
90th. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there's a Necessity for it
Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and if you can help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose; should either be necessary do it adroitly, with least noise, turning the face aside.
(In the Washington MS. there is a notable omission of all that issaid in the French and English books concerning grace before meat.At Washington's table grace was never said.)
91st. Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.
4. Ne rompez point le pain auec les mains, mais auec le cousteau, si ce n'estoit vn pain fort petil & tout frais, & que tous les autres fissent de mesme, ou la pluspart.
5. Ne vous iettez pas sur table, à bras estendus iusques aux coudes, & ne vous accostez pas indecemment les épaules ou les bras sur vostre siege.
8. Ne monstrez nullement d'avoir pris plaisir à la viande, ou au vin; mais si celuy que vous traittez, vous en demande vostre goust, vous pourrez luy respondre avec modestie & prudence: beaucoup moins faut il blasmer les viandes, ou en demander d'autres, ny dauantage.
3. Eat not like a glutton. (4.) Do not break the bread with your hands, but with a knife; unless, indeed, it is a small and quite fresh roll, and where the others present, or most of them, use their hands. (5.) Do not throw yourself on the table, as far as the elbows, nor unbecomingly rest shoulders or arms on your chair. (8.) Do not make a show of taking delight in your food, or in the wine; but if your host inquires your preference you should answer with modesty and tact: whatever you do, do not complain of the dishes, ask for others, or anything of that sort.
(At Washington's table it was a custom to invite each guest to call for the wine he preferred.)
92d. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.
In taking salt be careful that the knife is not greasy: when necessary your knife or fork may with propriety be cleaned on a piece of bread,—or, as is done in some places, with the napkin,—but it must never be wiped on the whole loaf.
93d. Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him w't meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by y'e Master
When entertaining any one it is polite to serve him at table and to present the dishes to him, even such as are near him. When invited by another it is more seemly to wait to be served by the host, or some one else, than to take the dishes oneself, unless the host begs the guests to help themselves freely, or one is at home in the house. One ought also not to be officious in helping others when out of one's own house, where one has but little authority, unless the guests are very numerous and the host cannot attend to everything; in that case we may help those nearest us.
[9]4th. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self
11. Ne soufflez point sur les viandes; mais si elles sont chaudes, attendez qu'elles se refroidissent: le potage se pourra refroidir, le remuant modestement auec la cuilliere, mais il ne sied pas bien de humer son potage en table, il le faut prendre auec la cuilliere.
If you dip bread or meat into the gravy, do not do so immediately after biting a piece off, but dip each time a moderately-sized morsel which can be eaten at one mouthful. (11.) Do not blow on the viands, but if they are hot, wait till they cool. Soup may be cooled by stirring it gently with a spoon, but it is not becoming to drink up the soup at table. It should be taken with a spoon.
95th. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor cast anything under the table
16. Aussi ne semble-il bien seant de cracher les noyaux de prunes, cerises, ou autre chose semblable sur le plat; mais premierement on doit les recueiller decemment, comme il a esté dit, en la main gauche, l'approchant à la bouche, & puis les mettre sur le bord de l'assiette.
[Sidenote: Maxim 15 is much longer]
15. L'on ne doit point jetter sous la table, ou par terre, les os, les écorces, le vin ou autre chose semblable.
Do not carry a morsel to your mouth, knife in hand, like the rustics. (16.) Moreover, it does not seem well bred to spit out the kernels of prunes, cherries, or anything of the kind, on your plate, but, as already said, they should be decently collected in the left hand (raised to the mouth), and placed on the edge of the plate. (15.) Bones, peel, wine, and the like, should not be thrown under the table.
96th. Its unbecoming to Stoop much to one's Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.
25. Ne vous nettoyez pas les mains à vostre pain, s'il est entier; toutesfois les ayant fort grasses, il semble que vous les puissiez nettoyer premierement à vn morceau de pain que vous ayez à manger tout à l'heure & puis à la seruiette, afin de ne la point tant salir: ce qui vous arriuera rarement, si vous sçauez vous seruir de la cuilliere, & de la fourchette, selon le style des plus honnestes. Beaucoup moins deuez vous lêcher les doigts, principalement les sucçant auec grand bruit.
It is ill-bred to stoop too close to one's porringer or the meat. It suffices to bend a little when conveying a soaked morsel to one's mouth, in order to avoid soiling oneself, then straighten up again. (25.) Do not clean your hands on a loaf; if very greasy you might, it would seem, partly clean them on a bit of bread you are about to eat, then on your napkin, so as not to soil the latter too much: this will rarely happen if you know how to use spoon and fork in the most approved manner. Much less should you lick your fingers, especially not suck them noisily.
[9]7th. Put not another bit into your Mouth till the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the jowls
Carry not another morsel to the mouth till the other be swallowed, and let each be such as will not stretch the jaws beyond measure; do not take both hands to raise a morsel to the mouth, but, usually, serve yourself with the right hand.
98th. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking
33. En boiuant, ne regardez point çà & là.
[Sidenote: The later French book recommends keeping the eyes 'fixed at the bottom of the glass' while drinking.]
Do not drink with your mouth full of food; do not ask anything while drinking, nor talk, nor turn round; and do not drink because your neighbour does, or the head of the table. (33.) While drinking, gaze not here and there.
99th. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil
Drink neither too slowly nor too hastily, nor as if gulping the wine, nor too frequently, nor without water—as drunkards do. Wipe your lips before and after drinking, and do not breathe too loudly then or at any other time, for that is very inelegant.
100th. Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done w't a Pick Tooth
Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, finger, fork, or knife. It were still more objectionable to do so with the nails. Use a toothpick. It also does not appear well-bred to pick them at table, unless others do so, and where such is a custom of the more gentlemanly.
101st. Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others
Do not rinse your mouth with wine, to be rejected in the presence of others; but, having left the table, accustom yourself to wash your hands with the rest. As to the mouth, it does not appear proper to wash it in company at all, and consequently when an opportunity of washing is offered, even at the table, the hands only should be washed.
102d. It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink
It is not commendable, and now almost out of fashion, to call on the company to eat, especially to invite them too often and urgently, for it appears to take away their freedom. Much less should you drink to others every time you drink: if one drinks to you, it is permissible to decline modestly, thanking him gracefully, and acknowledging your response; or you may well sip a little wine for courtesy, especially with people who are accustomed to it, and who are offended by refusal.
103d. In Company of your Betters be not [longer in eating] than they are lay not your Arm but ar[ise with only a touch on the edge of the table.]
When the rest have finished eating, you should do the same quickly;do not hold your arms on the table, but only place your hands onthe edge of it.
104th. It belongs to y'e Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought to begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that y'e Slowest may have time allowed him
46. Et au contraire il doit estre soigneux de commencer en son temps, de pouruoir à tout, d'entretenir les conuiez, & finir le tout auec telle addresse; qu'il donne temps aux plus tardifs de manger à leur aise, s'entretenant, s'il est de besoin, à gouster legerement des viandes, ou quand il est loisible de discourir à table; entremesler auec le manger quelque petit discours, afin que les autres puissent auec loisir d'acheuer.
It is for the most distinguished member of the company to unfold first his napkin and touch the food, and the rest should wait quietly, without laying hand on anything before he does. (46.) On the other hand, he ought in due time to commence, to consider everything, entertaining the guests, and managing all so adroitly as to give time to the more dilatory to eat at their leisure; if necessary for this, slowly tasting the viands, or, when table-talk is permissible, introducing a little chat during the meal, so that the others can finish at their ease.
[Sidenote: Toner has 'but' instead of 'put' in this Rule.]
105th. Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not put on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers for good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast
[Sidenote: Hawkins vii. 40. 'A cheerefull countenance makes one dish aFeast.']
Never be angry at table, no matter what may happen, or even if you have cause for anger, do not show it, especially if strangers are present.
[Sidenote: There is a blank in the MS. after upper.]
106th. Set not yourself at y'e upper [end] of y'e Table but if it be your Due or that y'e Master of y'e house will have it so, Contend not least you Should Trouble y'e company.
[Sidenote: Walker: 'Desire not the highest place, nor be troublesome with impertinent debasing yourself by refusing,' etc.]
Seat not yourself voluntarily at the top; but if the place properly belongs to you, or the master of the house so wills, do not offer so much resistance to its acceptance as to annoy the company.
107th. If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth
If there be reading or chat at table, be attentive, and if you haveto speak, do not speak with your mouth full.
108th. When you Speak of God or his Attributes, let it be Seriously & [with words of] Reverence. Honour & obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor
Hawkins vii. 43. Let thy speeches be seriously reverent when thou speakest of God or his Attributes, for to jest or utter thy selfe lightly in matters divine, is an unhappy impiety, provoking heaven to justice, and urging all men to suspect thy beliefe.—vii.(unnumbered)Honour and obey thy natural parents although they be poor; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches and honour, yet thy heavenly Father hath promised thee length of days.
(There is nothing in the French Maxims corresponding to the second sentence of Rule 108. The Maxim nearest to the first sentence is the 9th of Chapter i.:—"Il se faut bien garder de prononcer aucuns nouueaux mots, quand l'on parle de Dieu ou des Saincts, & d'en faire de sots contes, soit tout bon, ou par raillerie." "Avoid irreverent words in speaking of God, or of the Saints, and of telling foolish stories about them, either in jest or earnest." Compare also the last sentence of Maxim vii, 11, ante, under Rule 72.)
109th. Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.
Hawkins vii.(unnumbered).Let thy recreations be manful not sinful; there is a great vanity in the baiting of Beasts, the Bears and Bulls lived quietly enough before the fall; it was our sin that set them together by the ears, rejoyce not therefore to see them fight, for that would be to glory in thy shame.
110th. Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Conscience.
Hawkins vii.(unnumbered).Labour to keep alive in thy breast, that little sparke of Celestial fire called Conscience, for Conscience to an evil man is a never dying worm, but unto a good man its a perpetual feast.